Evening Reddit, IAmA man who was born with 12 fingers and no opposable thumbs, AMA!

How do you masturbate

I masturbate often and furiously, like any other male.

"Hey guys, how many fingers am holding up?" Just went to a whole new level

Tried and tested aplenty.

You still have better handwriting than me.

Practise my friend, but thats my neat handwriting - In lectures it resembles some sort of ancient hieroglyphics which is not legible to the normal human being.

I wonder if a handwriting specialist like the kind employed by law enforcement would be able to tell what happened to your hand based on your handwriting. No questions; just loud thoughts.

Thats an awesome idea, I'd love to try that out and see what they could establish from handwriting alone. Regardless of the fact it isn't a question thats one of the best ideas I've heard in a long time.

I've got to hand it to you, this is a great AMA.

Pun intended I presume, I'd shake your hand if I could.

Do you play guitar? If not you should. You would be a master of the "thumb over" technique!

Funny story, I started playing classical guitar in primary school when I was roughly 8 years old for maybe 5 years, during which I transitioned to electric. I gave it up roughly aged 15 because I just didn't practise enough and lost touch. However for xmas I got a brand new Schecter so I'm basically starting from scratch all over again. There was still some muscle memory and I believe I could get the hang of it again quite quickly but I could use a few lessons I think to get me back into the swing of things. Ask me in 6 months and I'll hopefully report I'm a dynamite with the thumb over.

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No I've never really thought about asking for extra time I don't think my condition is a disability to such an extent that I can condone cheating the system whereas my friends cannot. It would be great to have some more time being a history student but I've always just carried on as normal, I never really think of myself as having a condition I'm just like everybody else really thanks to surgery.

Salad Fingers?

As it happens I'm from Doncaster where the creator if salad fingers is from, could I be his inspiration!

Wahey South Yorkshire! I'm at Uni of Sheffield

Northumbria here, up in the toon.

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Well if you ever get lost I can point you in the right direction, I was there last week.

Do you sympathize with other animals that don't have opposable thumbs? For example, do you see a cat struggling to open a can of food and be like "I know that feel, bro."

When my dog loses a biscuit underneath the sofa I think man how lucky am I that I have such good healthcare.

Beautiful, haha. Thanks for the AMA!

No thank you for the questions.

Just sayin you're pretty freakin handsome. I'd hit it and I bet you're good with your hands :)

One doesn't tickle and tell.

I'll ask the question everyone wants the answer to: How does not having thumbs affect when you...you know....go bowling?

Bowling is a funny one, a few years ago me and my friends used to go religiously every week and play for a few hours. It's not an issue I can do just as good as the average person I suppose it's just my thumb is quite thin so finding the tight holes is key (do with that what you will). I think my high score was like 166 and I've bowled a turkey so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

can you use chopsticks?

I like to think I can but in reality I'm probably fucking hopeless.

Don't worry. My girlfriend has mostly normal hands and she's about as good at using chopsticks as a retarded parakeet is as juggling 4 basketballs.

Cheers its nice to know people share my pain, a problem shared is a problem halved.

Can you post pre-surgery pictures?

I'm at uni at the moment and all my pictures and x-rays are at my parents home but I'll give them a ring and I might be able to get a few photo's sent...OP will do his best to deliver.

Pretty hot...wouldn't notice your hands at all.

Thank you nice to know they aren't in your face.

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In general it can take people a long time to notice that there is even anything remotely different however when they do it's always the same "Woah, what happened to your hands...". Then comes the story of Liam the 6 fingered man, but generally I've never had a bad reaction but it's never been an issue for me because it seems to be a hereditary thing as my dad and grandfather had similar conditions but not exactly the same.

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Cheers man, appreciate it thanks for the question.

Hi. I also have 12 fingers, and I'm really shocked/kinda jealous that people have been generally nice to you. I was bullied on pretty much a daily basis in school growing up, and was (and still kind of am) a social pariah because of that. I'm really curious about the kind of environment you grew up in, I guess? Did you go to a small or a large school system growing up?

I've never met anyone else with 12 fingers (other than immediate family), have you?

Well now I only have 10 fingers, the other two being amputated but it's awesome hearing about someone else. I once saw someone else with Polydactylism in Manchester when I was about 17 and couldn't believe it, never spoke to him though.

As far as the bullying thing goes thats rough man, my heart goes out to you and honestly there was the occasional incident etc and most people I'm sure dealt with bullies at school but I honestly couldn't give a shit. If someone wanted to take the piss they could feel free, I was never in any way down about my hands so why should I give the arsehole making a jibe the time of day? I understand not everyone gets the luxury of not dealing with bullying the same as me however. People should be content with others regardless of factors influencing their lives which is why I feel for you. Regarding your statement about being a social pariah I wouldn't class that as an entirely bad thing I really enjoy my own company and could go a long time with no interaction without consequences. However I would say there are people out there who aren't narrow minded fools and they are abundant but lets face it in school your essential forced to endure years of contact with people you otherwise would choose not to associate with. Thus if it really got to you and the bullying affected you indefinitely best wishes for the future bud, but the big wide world has a shitload more to offer than self loathing and insecure twats than school.

My school was a large one but everyone seemed to get on with each other in our year group, others were governed by cliques but ours was great to be honest, especially after the age of 16 and the few shitheads left.

Best wishes man and thanks for the questions.

1) I fucking love your handwriting. I want it as a font /creepy 2) do you ever miss that extra digit?

I used to be abysmal at writing but my mum and dad always used to push me quite hard to practise but I ignored them really but now I've come of age it's nice that they did. Regarding the extra digits I lost them when I was 1 year old so I cannot remember the feeling, but unlike most it was a fully functioning digit but obviously without opposable thumbs I was screwed.

Thanks for the answer!

No worries.

What's your favorite dinosaur?

My favourite marine reptile is Liopleurodon, and on land probably Triceratops, as Billy was my favourite on power rangers and this was his dinosaur.

Edit: Spelling, my apologies these fingers of mine...

My favourite marine reptile is Liopleurodon

"Holy shit he actually knows it's a marine reptile and not a dinosaur."

and on land probably

"Holy shit he's actually differentiating between marine reptiles and dinosaurs."

Tricerotops

"Holy shit he misspelled it but I don't even give a shit, this guy is no filthy casual when it comes to dinosaurs."

Used to want to be a palaeontologist when I was a kid, books galore at home about dinosaurs plus power rangers was my favourite TV program so it seemed like the logical choice as a child.

Thanks to you all I have crossed that big milestone in life, my twitter account just got 100 followers. I've been waiting 21 years for them to become useful but finally the 'fingers' did it!

Can you play consoles and which is your favorite one?

Yeah have done since I was little, started with my dad's sega megadrive and went through the N64, all the play stations, xbox 360, wii, and now on the PS4. Couldn't pick a favourite really more based upon the games released for each console, a few favourite's are super smash bro's, the Tony Hawk's series, Elder scrolls from Morrowind onwards, The Last of Us etc. I could name plenty more.

What about different controllers? Are there any that feel comfortable/uncomfortable?

New PS4 controller is really good because it's heavier and wider however the thumb sticks are a bit of a pain. Xbox controllers are much harder however the best of all was the N64 pad.

That's awesome, High Five..... Oh sorry.

Hive five back man.

i only see 5 fingers

Two piggy's went to market.

Guessing those piggy's didn't come home?

You guessed right.

Just to clarify my favourite band is not Five-finger Death Punch, not horrendous however.

What was the surgical procedure done on your hands?

In short basically they removed one extra digit on each hand and much of the surrounding muscle tissue. This was in order to ensure I had as best rotation as possible from my remaining digit which was rotated 90 degrees to make them opposable. Over the years I've had many skin grafts etc. to ensure they work as close to normal as possible and I routinely went in to have the removed digits bone shaved down so it didn't disrupt my other 'thumb'.

Welcome, my lord. Your obvious genetic superiority is infallable. What is your bidding?

Pay homage to John Cusack our revered leader, read as many books as possible and listen to HIM. Thats what I do so you should do the same.

...and if it's not too much trouble mind fetching me a bottle of Dr. Pepper?

Yes, your excellency. Regrettably we are out of the name brand product but I am certain that you will find the equivalent to be to your liking.

Then off with your head!

Two Questions: How do you write? and Would you rather fight a hundred duck sized horses or one horse sized duck?

I have a weird claw grip that I just began to use when I was little and it just developed from there, which was the most comfortable way for me to write. I'm also very scared of horses, petrified even, I understand it's quite a weird phobia but I don't have any others really so on that note definitely the horse sized duck.

Does the pervasiveness of My Little Pony particularly bother you then?

No just the live ones.

Do you think it'll be easier for you to slip out of handcuffs?

My hands are pretty thin but I hope never to be put in a situation where I am wearing handcuffs, I most certainly will not do anything to end up in them.

Hold on a sec OP, I wouldn't say never. What if you met a nice lady/gent (not sure which way you rock) and business gets to business and they want to get a little kinky with some pig bracelets?

Gladly I'm already tied down and happy, but that's something which has not come up in conversation haha.

Just don't be caught red handed

Trying the old five finger discount literally.

Are you any better than the average Joe at opening jars of pickles etc?

I'm just as good as the average Joe I suspect but again without ever having normal functioning I couldn't be the judge. I do have quite weak hands but can get a rather firm grip on things so it balances out.

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Yes at my parents home I'll endeavour to get them to send me some for tomorrow so I can post them, might only be a picture/x-ray but hopefully both.

My sister had surgery on her thumbs when she was younger but the surgeon made them look very natural and has 10 fingers instead of 12.

Do you ever have girls who stop talking to do you because you have 12 fingers or do you skip to the bangarang?

No one has ever said anything unwelcome about my hands that I can remember, but I seem to be lucky enough that I'm surrounded will decent people.

That's awesome! My sister's thumbs are becoming more and more natural over the years and she seems to not have any issues adjusting to them anymore.

I'm glad you're able to adjust your lifestyle! What is your biggest hurdle (physical, emotional, or mental) with this situation?

Honestly I've been very fortunate that the hurdles haven't really phased me much, it's just something I live with and have adapted as I've grown up so it's natural.

Glad to hear about your sister, hopefully all remains well.

That's really awesome! When a person has a deformity, they have some mental or emotional hurdle deep inside that they are afraid of sharing and often have a hard time dealing with the fact that they are different.

I admire her strength and only think of happy things for people like you and my sister! Cheers my friend!

Yeah I don't really class mine as much of a deformity really, it doesn't limit me accomplishing anything that I know of and thanks for the best wishes.

Don't feel bad. I almost can't button up my shirts either.

Those bastard shirts it would be so much easier with a zip...

Does it ever come in handy? (Sorry couldn't resist)

I gotta hand it to you that was a good one.

It was a serious question though I actually wanna know if you take advantage of it!

If someone asks something you should answer! It's a general rule of thumb.

Yeah it does in handy sometimes, if nothing else but a conversation stimulator it definitely has its perks bud...I also see what you did there, very clever haha.

Just to say folks thanks for the questions, really interesting and I've never really spoke about my condition at any great length so a massive thank you!

What can you do with your hands that I cannot? Creative examples please.

I can bend my thumbs back to my wrist and twist them in ways no normal human should, it's like an organic bop it game - which way can we manipulate it next.

I can see that you only have five fingers right now and a lot of scars, what was the complications of having six?

Well they were all front on to the palm of my hand if you can understand that, basically a hand with 6 forward facing fingers so obviously the key was turning one of the digits around.

Thanks for answering my last one, so are they at the stage where they're as good as they are going to get or do you have plans for more work to improve dexterity? And are you still working with the same surgeon who did the initial operation? Thanks for doing this, fascinating.

My lifelong specialist is a man named Dr. Page and he will still be my consulting physician for the rest of my life if any problems arise but I believe they are as good as they will ever be, which is a stupidly high standard. I used to have to do little exercises when I was younger to improve dexterity but through years of use now I've reach a plateau and thanks for asking interesting questions, I appreciate it.

Would you consider your high-5s louder or quieter then others? Also is fingering women more pleasurable for them or just plain awkward?

Probably just as loud as everyone else's and as for the other more devious question I've never known it to be an issue however I've been with my current girlfriend for 4 years almost and we're both very happy.

Cool, thank you for sharing! I'm always fascinated by the ways surgeons and doctors find to help correct disabilities. Your "thumbs", other than being a bit thinner than usual, look pretty close to normal and pretty functional as well! Am I correct in thinking that the biggest problem with your new thumbs is a lack of rotational movement?

Nail on the head, that and the fact I have little pressure in any of my fingers/thumbs which is the issue but 9/10 everything works perfect. They did one hell of a job.

I also hand no opposable thumbs!! Awkward fist bump bro!

Boop*

Do you feel close to cats who share the same pain?

I understand their plight but I do not give them sympathy for they are my best friends mortal enemy.

How do you jerk off?

See answer at the top, sorry it took a while typing this - was using one hand...

So what happened to the other piggy? Also it seems like you're a cool guy, high 6... lol i'm just being a dork

I like to think the other little piggy is a guardian angel for the others.

It must be strange having a didgit removed... well 2 technically. I'm not you mention this already. But when did you have your operation (removal of extra fingers)

I was 5 when I had my last major correction surgery and minor surgery with skin grafts and some minor shaving of the bones was when I was roughly 16/17.

As you said, one digit from each hand was turned into a make-shift thumb, and the other was removed. What happened with the removed finger afterwords?

I believe they were destroyed, my mum and dad din't elect to keep them which I have no issue with. I'm on the donor register though so you never know someone might get a finger or two in the long run.

Is there any reason behind the polydactyly or was it just bad luck?

Hereditary, my dad and granddad both have similar but not exactly the same condition as myself.

How exactly does this impact your daily interactions with people/objects? Are there any scenarios where it helps you do something better than anyone else?

I've said a few times really it's hit and miss but having thin hands can be quite an advantage for rummaging through the mailbox without a key etc. Im struggling to think of more examples however my apologies.

Nixon watches are the best ! Good choice

I admire your taste, I love them and this one especially because it was a xmas gift from my SO.

noice, I got the gold timeteller for xmas from my brother.

I have the corporal and the banks.

how do you even type to answer this AMA??

With my fingers not my 'thumbs', much like everybody else haha.

Do you have full range of motion with your "thumb"?

Almost full range but my left is somewhat limited however my right hand has more excess tissue.

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I may have when I was younger if I recall, not in any real capacity any longer though thankfully.

Can you use your "thumbs" to type easier/faster? Or have they ever been more useful than normal thumbs?

Edit: grammar

I don't use my thumbs for typing I used my other 'normal' fingers however i type pretty fast on average I'd guess anyway, the thumbs are good for hitting the spacebar in games though.

Cool! Thanks for answering!

No problem!

Is there anything that you're unable to do without opposable thumbs?

Now I have makeshift opposable thumbs I don't think anything is really impossible however some things are more difficult than others like buttons etc. I have no real power in my hands.

Thanks for the reply. Do you have any hobbies/play any sports that require the use of your hands? If so, do you find it difficult or have you adapted to it?

Play guitar, console games, like playing basketball, rugby etc I'm learning to play the harmonica so thats fun, writing is probably my principle hobby and I have no issues now I've adapted.

Glad to hear you can do/play a lot of different things! Thanks for answering the questions.

No worries, thanks for asking!

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Honestly that one has never come up in conversation, but it's nice to know I'm on the same level as them once again.

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Not that I know of, probably a more subconscious eugh feeling. Just like when you shake hands with a person with sweaty palms.

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Honestly no one has ever given me the indication that they've noticed something wrong with my hands, people are nice in general and to be quite honest oblivious.

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I find that playing consoles can be hit and miss depending upon the controls, I can use analogue sticks well but the goddamn blisters are a nightmare sometimes. Having thin hands can be quite useful too as I can reach into our uni mailbox without the key which is handy, and I find quite difficult to hold books which is a pain because I love to read.

Do you prefer to wear mittens?

gloves or mittens are fine really, leather gloves can be a pain though.

Do you use both your hands for ....... you know? ;)

In that department I'm more reliable with my right, but sometimes lefty gets involved for a change.

Did you keep your extra fingers in a jar? Perhaps to show future girlfriends?

Nope they're gone I don't remember having them to be honest so I'm not attached.

Is it hard for you to grip your dick and masturbate with those fingers?

Also can you throw? I know you're from the uk so I'm trying to think of an equivalent of an american football or baseball....rugby and cricket?

when discussing masturbation it's hard to be serious but yes I can, as far as throwing goes I've never had any issues with sport etc.

With the rotational movement thing, do you text with your finger-thumbs or is it easier with your finger-fingers?

Easier with my right hand thumb-finger, left is more of an issue.

Have you ever thrown a mean 6 fingered-fist punch?

Not that I am aware of, not much of a fighter.

I am not sure if this is a curse, or a super power. Would you mind weighing up the pros and cons for Reddit?

Im brilliant at 'thumb' wars. I'm shit at buttons.

It is a 50/50 thing, there are pro's and cons to it but honestly the best thing is that it's a conversation starter, I love the fact my hands are a little quirky. I have no qualms whatsoever with them if I had a superpower or defining characteristic my tingers would be the one.