IamA Manager of a sex shop/adult boutique! AMA!

Would I be right in thinking you don't judge people on their purchases? Like, whether I'm buying a little pocket rocket or the biggest, most realistic-looking dildo you've got, does it make a difference? I've been shopping for toys online recently, but I'd like to support local industry and go back to doing it in person!

It honestly doesnt matter. It used to, when I was fresh 2 weeks into the job. After you see the tiny asian woman buying a 14 inch monster and the guys buying the fist...all else falls under that. There is no judgement. I like to joke with customers, saying my store is like planet fitness. No judgement allowed. I honestly feel that way and so does everyone else in the industry.

Buying in a shop is more pricey than buying online, but you dont get to see it in action. You dont get to hold it, see what it feels like. Talk to someone about it. Nothing. Im so proud of you, thinking of making the jump from online to in person. Take my upvote. May there be more people like you :)

Thank you! I'd absolutely come to you for my next purchase, but 3000 miles is just a tiiiiny bit too far. I'm officially a fan of yours now though!

Thank you! Get in line! :P Everyone loves me!

I've taken a number, don't worry.

Lol. <3 Feel free to contact me if you ever have any quesitons! My main username is somewhere in this post.

That is the number one reason I enjoy getting my toys at my local shop. Nothing beats a helping hand and a few tips here and there.

"Helping hand" :P

"Ma it's not a sex shop! It's an adult boutique!"

That's actually hilarious. Except it doesn't apply to me :P

I would imagine your sexy time threshold is very high, being surrounded by sex all the time. Do you feel like you need more stimulation to get turned on?

Yes. Its a bit tough when it comes to vanilla sex. I can honestly admit that if it isnt interesting enough, I more than likely go limp in the middle of it, which is a bit of a problem.

Interesting. What have you done to try to mitigate the problem?

Find women that arent vanilla when it comes to sex :P Im more of a bdsm kind of guy anyway.

easier said than done. Im glad me and the wife clicked with that situation lol

Indeed easier said than done. Which is why im single! :P Im glad that worked out for you!

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I don't have a fetlife account. Was totally thinking of it though.

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Lol. Nice.

Also, what made me seem like I was a chic? :P

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Lol. I guess that makes sense.

Whats your funniest or most audacious attempt at someone trying to return an item

Customer: "I want to return this item" Me: "Im sorry, there are no returns" Customer: "What do you mean no returns? Thats bullshit" Me: "Unfortunantly, that item you are trying to return was already returned once, so we dont take things back twice." Customer: "Thats fucking disgusting, you sold me something that was.....oh. Right. I see" Me: "Have a good day".

Me: "Unfortunantly, that item you are trying to return was already returned once, so we dont take things back twice." Customer: "Thats fucking disgusting, you sold me something that was.....oh. Right. I see" Me: "Have a good day".

That's very clever. Did you come up with that?

Yes. I will indeed take all the credit for that one.

...what were they trying to return, if you don't mind me asking.

People try to return all types of things all the time. One guy tried to return 2/3 condoms. He pointed out the one he used he didnt like, so he wanted to return the rest.

what has been the funniest question a customer has asked?

Lets see, funniest...It's kind of hard. I look at things differently. For example, there have been a handful of women aged 25-35 that don't know how to stimulate their clit or gspot. I had to show a woman on a doll exactly where her clit was and what it does. Some people find this funny, but I find it....I dunno....not funny. Its educational. Poor thing didnt know how to get off.

If I had to choose one...its probably the creepers who come in and ask me if I know of any prostitutes. Even if I did, who the hell says "yea man, heres a number to call".

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I see what you did there.

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Lol. One pill is 20 bucks for the extremes. (2000mg) and about 15 for the Golds. (1500mg). Everything is one pill, lasts about 3-4 days. Advertised as 5.

What is the weirdest thing that's happened to you while on duty

Id have to say the 300lb jacked up muscle head who walked in with a dress, bra and high heels. It was clearly not a joke. He/she had the voice/face/eyes/vibe of a murderer. I was legitimately scared, but he/she was so nice.

You must have some awkward situations deciding whether to say ma'am or sir..

When those times come. I dont. When they obviously want me to say ma'am. I do. When they want me to say sir, I do. Whatever floats your boat, I could care less what your preference is. As long as you leave my store happy.

that's respectful.

I try :)

Couldn't care less.

You got me. Funny thing is I usually correct people on that. Thats why I found it twice as humorous.

What do your friends and family think about your occupation?

Do you often see the cliche creepy customers?

My friends and family always look down about it, but who cares. They dont pay my bills or put food on my table. Plus, im working towards ownership. So yea. They can bite it :P

Care to answer the second question please? :D

Sorry friend.

As far as cliche creepers? Yes. Theres a bunch of them, but there are also a bunch of regular customers. Id say 70/30 Normal/Creepy ratio. A lot of people are discouraged of coming in because they think its full of creepers waiting at the door for them to come in so they can be mauled by perv vision lol. Its not as bad as people make it seem. Usually the creepers are LGBT and are looking for other LGBT. Single women usually are not on the checklist for who to hunt down lmao

Haha :D thanks for the answers man. I wish you all the best!

Thanks for the questions!

How did you end up in your current career? I mean, it's not like you said when you were 13 "I want to work in a sex shop!" ( or did you? )

Also, what kind of experience do you need for this type of work?

I personally have been on my own since I was 16, so ive jumped jobs ALOT for obvious reasons. This is my 22nd job in the past 10 years. I got this job (as previously answered) from a friend who asked if I needed a job, I said yes. Done.

I am personally a great salesman. I have a lot of knowledge about relationships and sex. I just needed to come in and up my knowledge on toys. I am a very good people person and have a great judge of character. Its really easy for me to take nervous and embarrassed people and turn them into "FUCK YEA THIS STORE IS AWESOME" and have them tell me their life story (not always wanted).

Also, to follow up. If you cant turn a person who wants to avoid you in the store into a person who wants to be your best friend, you aren't going to get much done.

Ah, yes. We gotta do what we gotta do.

What does your username mean? Does it relate to your work? Or is it a toy?

I tried to make this AMA on my main account /u/seeekay but it wouldnt let me :( So i made a new one. Also, Seekay is just a nickname IRL. As well as my online handle in mostly...everything. :P

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Yes, but in my state its illegal, so I direct them to New York.

You should probably send them to Bad Dragon instead.

Don't know what that is and I don't think I want to know :P

It's not illegal in NY?

Videos. No.

tilts head Never heard of videos being legal here in NY... TIL.

Last I recall, purchasing bestiality videos in particular is legal. Which is why I send my customers there.

Do you get discounts on the items that you sell? What have your past/current significant other thought about your job?

I do get a discount. Can't really go on about how much :P

Previous SO was pretty jealous of my job and she left. I am currently single because every woman I come across thinks its hot, wants a fling, but cant actually be with someone who does this for a living. Too many jealousy problems.

I am so sorry to hear that! I don't see the big issue for you doing that as a living. I would think it is a bigger perk than anything! I'm not a jealous person, so I'm a bit confused. What jealousy issues arise?

"You hit on girls all the time"...Its my job. "You get hit on all the time"...Same as getting hit on in the street? "You look at all the girls that come in there because you know they are freaks"....Uhh?

How silly. It's quite a shame. If my husband worked at an adult shop, I would just want to know his funniest stories of the night and the weirdest combo of things he sold. (or at least something along those lines). I hope you find someone who doesn't care where you work! =)

Help me find her! Ill give you a discount! :P

I can relate to that some what I used to bouncer and body guard strippers at one point, I looked at them like clients and money on the table and my ex saw it as an opertunaty for me to cheat due to it being a sex entertainment field... Le sigh.

^ This. All I see that walks through that door is a big dollar sign. Once in a while we get a girl who just knocked the breath out of your body, but picking girls up in here is near impossible.

They are either: 1) Getting a toy, which they dont need you at all for. 2) Picking up something for her and her SO, which she doesnt need you for.

The only time you really "pick up" a girl is when they come in, look around, decide they are broke and slip you their number or hit on you.

I think the one thing myself and a lot of other people have always been curious about in regards to people who work in sex shops is the old "How on earth did you get that job?" question.

I'm also interested to know in how you end up hiring people - have potential employees just asked at the counter if there's work? Also distinguishing the difference between someone who is genuine and wants work over someone who just wants the job for the novelty. And is there an interview process?! I've never seen in ads for jobs in sex shops, so it's something I'm curious about :P

I personally was friends with the previous manager. He asked if I needed a job, I said yes, boom. Done.

Everyone who is still here has been here for 5+ years. Its hard to get a job in a place like this because nobody ever leaves. As far as when that one person does leave, we do indeed have a hiring process. We advertise on craigslist and word of mouth as well as walk-ins. There are tons of people who come in and ask if we are hiring.

As far as who to hire. I personally wanted to hire a girl that came in, solely based off the resume. Not about what was on it, but the resume itself. Double ply paper, extremely clean and neat, nice layout. I automatically wanted to give her a job. We figure out the different between "Teehee I wanna work here" and "I want to work here" in person. Theres nothing wrong with being excited, but the people who are over excited usually...think its all fun and games and not actually work. We describe what goes on behind the scenes (the actual work), whats expected, and our terms of working here.

Dont ask me to expand on that last part, come apply if you wanna know :P

Standard retail shit, right? Easy. Been doing that for... far to fucking long.

I'm not following. Regarding what? Im trying to imply his first question and your statement. You mean "Hire people just like you would for standard retail." ? Or maybe "Sounds like the job contains standard retail shit, which is easy". Im having a hard time.

Jesus Christ, I read every single comment on this thread. I just wanted to take the second and thank you for a very educational AMA.

Your welcome. I said I would stop at 10pm EST. Its not 4:22am. Gonna answer these last batch of questions and head to bed :P

How many people have you caught "testing" out products?

Absolutely none. We keep a close eye on that kind of stuff.

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Nope. If they did, we would immediately kick them out.

have you ever used any of your own products?

Yes, I mainly use some of the pills from time to time since they are awesome. (Powerzens, make sure you get a real one and not a ripoff). I usually test out all the new stuff that we get ahead of time. Reps try to push product on us and the first thing I say is send me a tester and we'll talk.

What do they do?

Powerzen makes men fuck like gods. No bullshit.

These actually work? And any brands or things I should look for when trying it?

Make sure its real. Coloring on the package is pure. The date is on the top right corner of the back. And you see the "Pld" logo in the front. Make sure the image of the woman on the front is crisp and not blurred.

I just googled this to know what it is and this is the top website, I trust you, but this is really funny : http://www.herbsexenhancement.com/triple-powerzen-sex-medicine-pure-natural-male-enhancement-pills-p-247.html

Also anything comparable for women?? I have a crappy sex drive.

Thats it. But the extremes at my shop (2000mg) Usually run 20 bucks. Anything more than that and you are getting ripped off. Anything that is way cheaper is most likely a fake. Dont buy any online because you cant check the authenticity before hand.

Comparable for women, i believe i answered this. Try sex shots (liquid) ive been told they work by plenty of women. If not, try spanish fly (liquid or pills) and then you've got max desire and viva herbal.

Thanks. I love sex toy shops. I don't have a lot of modesty with my husband, but the poor guy is shy and nervous about that kind of stuff. I always thought sex toys were fascinating and could possibly be helpful for someone like me (usually requiring a lot of stimulation). My husband gets red and nervous (he's not like that at home obviously and indulges me). As a male, I'm wondering what you think might be helpful to get him to open up to the idea of using toys and stimulants? I don't want to make him uncomfortable and I don't need it or anything but thought that kind of stuff might be fun. Thanks if you have the chance!

Visit a sex shop and hopefully the person behind the counter does their job. If they dont, then tell your hubby that you wanna have some fun. If you've got the cash, you can go for a wevibe 4. They are the best couple's toy hands down. They just came out...(Or maybe arent out until the 14th....hmmm) It gives him all the power. It pretty much clips on you, stimulates your clit and gspot at the same time. Its wireless remote controlled and you get to have sex while its running. So yea. Fun stuff.

Thanks!

Also, maybe try to check out the shop after a couple drinks. I know a lot of couples come into my shop a little buzzed. It helps. On both ends :P

Agreed. That's how I got him into one once before!

Nice! :)

Do you ever get people coming into the shop that yell at you or chew you out for working in an "immoral" profession or any BS like that? Conservatives saying the shop shouldn't exist? Protestors?

Also do you have to deal with rude customers like other retail? Any notable examples?

Nope, never.

Rude customers are just every day retail customers. Nobody is particular. Nothing sex or toy related. Maybe a couple of women who try to chew me out for thinking that I know what feels good for them better than they do. (Im usually right, since they are inexperienced and coming to me for help to begin with. Dont know why they fight it so much.)

Where is the Store located? I know in some parts of the states this can be a big issue....

Connecticut.

Most interesting story?

To be completely honest, that's way too vague to answer. There are countless number of interesting stories that happen. As you can imagine. Getting hit on multiple times by guys, girls, couples. Lesbians coming in and trying to rattle the cages after I tell them that "Nothing surprises me anymore". (They started making out and moaning in front of me and left pissed when I didnt give them what they were looking for.) Tons of stuff.

lesbians making out and moaning left pissed? wha twere they looking for? why were they pissed whe nthey did that infront of you?

They did it in front of me to try to get me...worked up. They were pissed because I wasnt effected at all. Im surrounded by sex, talk about sex and am very sexually active. They are used to making out or showing off in front of regular guys and have the guys be all over them. Not me. I just kept playing on my phone and told them to try harder. Lol.

I imagine that's a bit like pointing a hair dryer at someone in a sauna. They can feel it, it just doesn't matter.

Pretty much nailed it with that statement.

Ever had to call the cops? Why?

Yes. Had a couple of hoodlum kids come in here and cause a scene. They got upset because I asked them to leave after they made the rest of the customers feel uncomfortable. They would point and laugh at things and go "lololol look its a vagina lololol". Once I kicked them out, they started shouting death threats and calling the store non-stop. We close at midnight. One of the girls that works here was scared, so I made sure she was safe.

Kids are allowed in the store? Jeez. Can they purchase products? I was just wondering... It's for my girlfriend I swear.

"Kids" being 19-20 Legal policy is anyone 18 and up. Store policy is 21 and up, but its bendable. If I have a 19 year old couple that are mature enough to actually walk in and discuss the needs and wants and not be a child about it, no problem.

Have you ever had any complaints about TOKO lube products, me and the wife used it for a while and it actually destroyed some of her toys and caused..... injuries. It wasnt a heat up lube or flavored or anything which is odd.

Some lubes eat up some toys. For instance, silicone lube eats a lot of toys up. Make sure your toys are labeled as "silicone friendly" or something of the sort. We do not carry TOKO ourselves. As far as "injuries" go, feel free to inbox me so we can get to the bottom of this. If you are talking about rashes or skin problems, you can go for "All Natural" lubes which are a bit more watery/less thick/less lasting but have a lot less ingredients for sensitive skin.

What would you say is your best selling product?

Also, can you send me a toy? ;P

Someone asked this question. Answered. And maybe :P

Well if you're just giving out toys, may I please have one? I don't care what it is, I will find a use for it. :)

I was just joking..

I've known a few employee's from different chains of stores, they have told me a story revolving around a robbery attempt thrwarted by being beating up the robber with a large fister or a dildo. Have you ever been in that situation or beaten an employee with a sex toy fight.

sorry if this question is stupid but i can just immagin what it would look like if i were a police officer looking at the video tape of the robbery lol

My go to for sex toy fights are the glass toys. Because once you take those out, everyone is like "hey man, thats not fair" and it ends. Lol.

As far as a stories regarding robberies and stuff like that. Sorry. No.

I've been trying to talk a friend of mine into opening a sex shop. Any advice for her? Any cool avenues sex shops aren't, but could/should be, pursuing?

It's really tough to fight the internet. I honestly wouldn't do it. Unless you have some amazing plan to fight the internet with, then you won't make much money. Retail in general is dying a very painful death to internet prices, which only causes them to jack their prices even more to put themselves deeper.

Are there video booths in the back? Do they have glory holes?

Yes. And no. Just regular booths.

What is your favorite part of the job, the thing that keeps you coming back?

The coversations. The connection. I am a people person. I build rapport. When those customers come in and tell me that everything I told them made them a better husband/wife/lover/whatever, it really gets me going. Im all about teaching and learning the ways of relationships and sex.

How much does one make in terms of a salary as the manager of such a shop?

Not much more than an average salary of any other retail store.

What's the kinkiest toy you sell?

Kinky? Hmm. The Accomidator:

http://www.amazon.com/California-Exotics-Accommodator-Oral-Stimulator/dp/B002JINP1C

In my eyes anyway. Either that or the straight jacket from fetish. Or maybe the dick rambone 14 1/2 inch dildo....theres a lot to choose from :P

http://imgur.com/FDLEvfP I'll just leave this here.

Nice.

Do you except Bitcoin?

I wish we accepted it. I personally do :P

I'm looking for a bullet with a wireless remote. Do you have any suggestions? I'm so lost on what to look for :/ Price is kind of important but not too important. I just want it to work and to last lol

Try one of the cheaper ones first. I know california exotics makes a cheap purple one. Once you decide you like it, go for a fetish brand. Its wireless panties, but its pretty much a wireless remote bullet put in a panty.

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Spanish fly or sex shots. They dont counterfeit those. They work. Or try max desire.

Do you ever get turned on at work?

Nope. Sad to say.

What is the male to female customer ratio visiting your store and buying your products?

Its really mixed. One day Ill get nothing but guys, the next nothing but women.

Overall, id have to say about 60/40 Men/Women

What is your most popular product among men? Women? Or even both?

Welcome to the realm of asking the same question that every person asks me as soon as they walk through the door. :P

Its absolutely situational. Everyone comes in for different things. Its -really- hard to put any type of "guesstimation" of the "most sold" product. There are tons of "fads" and "flavor of the month"s as well. Its really hard to judge.

Some things that sell on a consistent basis no matter what?

Women: Pocket rockets (cheaper versions), Doc Johnson Realistic Cocks and rabbits mainly.

Men: Dr. Joel Kaplan products, delay spray and penis thickening creams. (This is a whole other topic of "it pisses me off". So many guys compare themselves to porn stars and feel inadequate. Women watch porn and think every guy is hung like one as well. Society sucks balls when it comes to penis length. But hey, it makes money)

Couples: Vibrating cockrings, wevibe products, under the bed restraints.

I work in a store like this in TX. You're sarcasm filled first sentence is my life. Your following statements are spot on. It's nice to know I'm not the only one. Though our best selling item is easily the chinese blue pills. Weird to hear stuff from a guy's perspective because my store typically hires women...

Interesting. Im glad I could entertain you, even if for a slight moment. Glad to know Ive got someone who shares the same job :P

No offense man but as a manager you should know a lot more numbers.. Its not that hard to keep track of how many customers a day, what sells the most/least.. They are all pretty important stats..

No offense, but I try not to tell everyone what the personal business does as far as profit and numbers go. Which is why I try to answer the question with "rough estimates".

Here's an idea. Give me your address, I'll mail you our ledger.

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Seriously sounding? No clue.

Seriously expensive? We used to carry the lelo brand. Once it started to collect dust because nobody wanted to spend 150-200 dollars on a vibrator, we got rid of it. We just picked up Picobong. Lelo makes it, lower end toy, but still up there. Think of a mercedes. Lelo being an S class, Picobong being a C class.

I never knew lelo made picobong. You've given me a bit more to research...

Picobong = lelo without being rechargeable. Its battery operated. Same everything else.

wow, our store must trample on yours lol we have a gold plated toy that is 15,000 and yes we really did in fact sell one.

Cool. Grats

What caused you to become a manager at a sex shop? I imagine that could be a rather awkward job to apply for. Also, do you ever see anything items being sold in your store that make you think "what the fuck?"

Already answered, a couple of times.

Sell any Tenga products?

Unfortunately not. There was a wave, we didnt get on it. The sales for tenga arent all as high as they used to. Also, we tend to try to not to carry what regular stores carry. (Like KY and condoms, where people can go buy at CVS or something.)

Is it blatantly obvious when people are coming in for the first time, and is there anything you do to try and help them relax?

First I give them time. Once they start whispering to each other, I usually start with "You should ask the guy who works here!" for an ice breaker. Then they are either super shy or just ask. Based on what happens, I either joke with them and open them up through laughter or get very professional with them and open them up through the "you can ask me, im a professional" lol.

Haha, brilliant. Thanks! Great AMA :)

Thank you! :)

Would u rather sniff a penguin or sit on a frog..

Sniff a penguin, they are so cute.

How do you guys handle product recalls?

We haven't dealt with one yet. Im sure if there was a recall it wouldnt be too much of a problem. We order toys every two weeks, so theres not much backstock.

how do you explain that on a date?

That I work at a sex shop? I usually tell women I know everything there is to know about relationships, sex, and sex toys. If they are intrigued, I tell them where I work. If they look at me like a pig, then I dont get anywhere :P

What's your best sellers and what's the weirdest thing someone's asked for?

Already been answered. A bunch of times :P

How many customers is there daily? Per week\month? What about the profits of the shop? Any legal issues?

Its hard to put a number on that. Everyday is different, usually in the week (Mon-Thurs) There can be 3 customers a day or 20. Its really random. On the weekend is when we get busier. Usually around...I dunno...I'd say about 20-40 customers a shift. It is starting to kick up due to christmas and holidays. Both for the lonely people and the couples.

I cant go into exact profit details, but the average transaction is about 40 dollars. Some people are cheap and come in looking for what they can get for 5 bucks and some people come in and blow 200-400 in one sitting. Like I said, its -really- hard to gauge.

Legal issues: Nope. We have to be careful when it comes to poppers. (Use google) Other than that, we just have to be careful with window advertisement. (We blacked out the whole store, thats how we deal with that) :P

Sounds pretty good.

Is it even possible to buy something for 5 bucks lol?

Also would like to ask a few more questions: the shop is 24\7? If yes, how are the sales at night? How many people own\work at that place? It's a part of someone's sex empire or just a small local store?

And the last one, funny question: do you have to deal with horny teenagers? You know, like asking them to leave the moment they walked into the store? Thanks.

Hardly. We've got like...sample pills and sample lubes for 2-5 bucks. Thats about it...

Nope, we are open from 9:30am-12Midnight everyday except sunday which is open noon to 10.

Sales in the day are mostly older gentleman with videos. When it gets dark, thats when people deal more with the toy side. Then really late, around midnight, its a toss up.

3 Employees total, including me. One owner. Owner used to own 7 stores, after the economy got bad, he now has just this one.

I deal with immature teens all the time. I simple ask them to leave. If they ask why, I tell them they have to be 21 and up. They throw the "No, its 18 and up". I reply with "No, its what I say it is".

Hey I just want to say thanks for being understanding and non-judgemental. I've only been to one sex shop, and the lady behind the counter was super helpful to my friend. She was also helpful to me, but I couldn't use any of the lubricant due to allergies.

No problem. You make it seem like I did something in particular :P But you should totally use all natural lube. It isnt as thick, its more watery, but it practically has nothing in it. If that fails, use silicone lube. Its really messy, but it literally has bar-none in it.

Yeah, the lubricant that the lady suggested was all natural. Didn't realize till I got home that it had almond oil, which I'm allergic to. I'm still glad that she recommended some good ones, I'm just happy that I caught the ingredient before it was too late. That could have been a very painful experience.

Try swiss navy all natural. Clear bottle, green writing. Ingredients are a joke.

Have you ever sold gay porn to a straight couple?

No but ive sold gay porn to married men.

• Weirdest customer off of the top of your head?

• Some times pornstars will film a small thing in these shops. has that ever happened in yours?

Jesse. That guy is weird as shit. He will literally buy the same two toys on the same day of the week, every week like clockwork. He buys a bullet and high intensity massage toy. He never remembers that he bought it and while hes "looking around" he is constantly talking to himself. He walks fast into the store and runs out. Hes nice, just weird.

Never anything filmed in our store, but we had a couple porn stars come in here and sign our wall and stuff. Maybe Ill get a picture for you guys.

OP delivers!

imgur.com/b0z4oHR

I think I need a pornstar signature wall in my room...

It would be a nice thing to have :P

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Nope, thats down the street at the smoke shop. We usually dont like to step on anyone's toes and they do the same for us.

Do you sell spice and other stuff like that, if you do have you ever tried it yourself?

Im sorry, spice?

You know that fake weed stuff and those "bath salts?" I've seen some of the sex shops sell that kind of stuff?

Nope. Thats next door. They sell all that stuff.

Suck a big, black dick or a massive, bulging Asian one?

Depends on what your mom prefers.