Do you consider Evolution to be the pinnacle of your career?

Because I do, and I'm still eagerly awaiting a sequel.

Great GoogaMooga. I loved making the movie. I loved that you loved the movie. Call Ivan Reitman about sequel.

Also, I watched Bedazzled for the first time in almost a decade the other day while I was crazy drunk. We had to stop the movie when Brendan Frazier called you Dr. Ingiggitygiggitybaba because I literally almost died laughing.

I almost won a Poolitzer Prize and my book hadn't even been Pooblished yet. Tainted Love is my book.

Best AMA ive seen in a while...this muufukka replies to every comment xD

http://i.imgur.com/dacx60Y.gif

I bet you're still trying to sell magazine subscriptions.

Yes. Would you like to buy Tainted Love? I make you a good deal.

In 1992, you appeared as a cop on an episode of Herman's Head. I don't have a question, I just wanted to remind you.

That's fucked up. And funny. Also, in 1992 I tried to give myself a blow job and learned that I am not THAT flexible. It was an AMAZING year.

1992

Wow, that's impressive

Thank you for doing a legit AMA. Most actors only answer a few questions. My respect has grown.

Usually one someone says "my respect has grown" they're not referencing a RedditAMA. Just sayin'

I thought it was implied that i was talking about my penis

Well done sir

What Flavour ice cream do you want?

It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.

Just a little deeper.

No more! No deeper!

Dude, I love when you're in movies. You don't play the stereotypical black guy. You have your own persona for each role and that makes you a great actor. Just wanted to tell you that.

I'm blushing right now but I am so black no one can tell that my face is red.

[deleted]

I got second degree sunburns while filming that movie. A bunch of the real football players took me to a swingers bar where I watched one of the cheerleaders from the movie get banged by one of the referees from the movie. I called flag on the play and left. True. Fucking. Story.

you're answers..

i mean.. ethan hawke's were amazing. but these are amazing in such a completely different way.

Loved working with him in Training Day. My nigga!!

Where are you right now? I'm coming over there to high-five you for this answer.

I'm on plane flying to DC! This'll be my highest high five. Read into that what you want.

I had to catch a flight. So I cut it short but now I'm airborne like a virus and back bitches!

Do you think that people gave Dave Chapelle too much shit for his racial skits, which included Clayton Bigsby, the black-white supremacist?

Absolutely. Chapelle is a visionary comedian.

Clayton Bigsby was an absolute watershed moment in American race relations. When the white teenagers are thrilled to be called niggers by a black man it marked the pinnacle of postmodern society.

True dat! Best comment of the day is yours.

When you were at the studio in May, you didn't happen to run off with my coke, did you?

No, I snorted it in the bathroom asshole. Who "runs off" with coke?

Fuck, I had a whole kilo.

I know. My dick has been hard for a month.

tell me a joke

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who cares -- let them bitches sit in the fucking dark!!

What other major movie or TV stars do you feel are taking roles that should be yours? Tom Cruise?

Daniel Day Lewis. I could have played Lincoln. Fuck that guy.

I would rather see you play a Roosevelt.

Teddy or Eleanor?

Teddy. Tyler Perry has been offered the role of Eleanor

So, Deborah Wilson. You saw those right?

I did. Before the reduction. Not in a sexual way. She's like my sister who I jack off thinking about on occasion.

How did you get turned on to Reddit? It seems more and more celebrities are doing these kind of interviews (which is great).

Wait... I thought this was AOL.

Dang I actually wanted the answer to this.

I'm nerd dude. Need I say more. Been loving reddit for a minute. My boys Noam (producer of Tainted Love) and Avi (co-creator and director of Tainted LOve) turned me on to it.

Hey Orlando! Just wanted to say thank you for making me laugh all these years. On a personal note, my dad and i didn't along so well but one of the few times we bonded was over your mad tv oj Simpson sketch. Still the funniest sketch to this day.

Make 7, up yours!

Url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umUXVRU_neM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Thanks man. That and Annie Ho are my personal favorites.

On avg, how many respectable young entrepreneurial women do you pull per year?

After pulling my wife I thought it might be a good idea to drill down on that one until I strike oil.

Is this some kind of an anal reference?

LOL

That's just crude.

You're right. I'm offended I'm gong to send a letter of complaint to myself.

What do you think Peter Gibbons did with his 40 subscriptions to Vibe? Office Space kind of left us hanging on that one.

You are totally right. Fuck Mike Judge and his half assed story telling. That shit was worse than the ending of lost.

How amazing was it working with amazing MysteryGuitarMan on the amazing web series Meridian?

Amazing. Mystery Guitar Man is AMAZING. I mean, I don't actually know who he is or anything about him because he wears sun glasses and "it's a mystery." Fucking hipsters.

Hah!

Seriously, though. Tainted Love is awesome. I just checked out the pilot of Sleepy Hollow... amazing.

Good things are coming your way, sir.

Looking forward to our next project together brother. Get your ass off of Reddit and get to work.

I made this account just to ask you a question!

Do you ever get recognized from Office Space (one of my favorite movies ever)?

Did you have any sense of how huge that movie was going to become when you were shooting it?

Not a clue. The movie bombed at the box office. Jennifer Aniston didn't help us AT ALL.

Dude, she's pissed

I'm pissed. I paid $10 to see "The Break Up" and at no point did Jennifer Aniston get naked and fuck Vince's brains out so he would know what he was gonna be missing. That's standard operating procedure.

Is Tyler Perry bad for film? Bad for anything?

Tyler Perry is the most prolific black filmmakers in the world.

That said, maybe racism isn't all bad.

Mr. Orlando Jones, I, as well as my wife, want to know if you will have sex with us. Not together, but one at a time. Full disclosure, I'm a dude.

If it was full disclosure you'd send me a naked picture of your wife and leave the country while I fucked her (long distance rule and all).

That's fine, but I'd have to be first, and she wants to go to Japan anyway.

OK. I'll go to Japan with her. You can fuck the guy from Juwanna Man who supposedly looks like me.

Is there a TV show that you would like to guess star on? If so, what show and why?

Mad Men. I know this is gonna sound crazy -- but there were actually black people living and working and thriving in New York City in the 1960s.

Hey Orlando! Thanks for doing this AMA, I am a fan! I have a few questions for you.

• What was it like working with David Duchovny in Evolution? P.S. You were great in that movie.
  
• Is there time for lubricant?
• Why did the "Make 7 up yours" commercials stop? They were amazing.
• How did you end up being in MysterGuitarMan's series Meridian? And what was it like working with him? It was awesome! Will there be more?

Thank you!

1. Duchonvy is a funny dude. And very sexy. I tried to fuck that several times. And he kept getting weird. And saying "I'm not gay. You're not gay. What are you doing??"

2. There's always time for lubricant bitch. You know that.

3. I did not want to do them any more.

4. MGM and I met at ComicCon. I'm a huge fan. We'll be doing more things together.

Everyone is gay for David Duchovny.

Wiser words have never been spoken.

Did you get your job on MadTV because you are related to Quincy Jones?

Yes. He's my little nephew.

Follow up to that.

You mind if I bang your grand-niece?

http://i.imgur.com/OGd9d1u.gif

Oh....and..quick question. Will the hook in my penis ever straighten out?

That's a GREAT question. Be thankful your penis is long enough to hook.

Who would you rather punch, Gene Hackman or Keanu Reeves?

You can't punch a 75 year old man. Sorry Keanu.

Did you fall in love with Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled? I don't know how you even got your lines out in that pool table scene.

We ate carrot ginger soup in her trailer. Came 3 times. It was orange. She asked me to leave. Had a baby with Steve Bing. Guess I didn't have enough gold for digging.

Bing Laden strikes again.

http://i.imgur.com/dacx60Y.gif

Thanks for the Retweet...motherfucker.

That being said... Did ever really shower with those volleyball players in Evolution?

I do shower. That's all I can really say.

Can you tell everyone about that party you were high at that had a row of about 20 girls on their knees, and you went down the row sticking your dick in each one's mouth until you came?

It wasn't a party. It was a political fundraiser.

Huge fan of your work. I still wear my "Make 7 Up yours" shirt. Now for the question. What's your favorite pizza topping?

Black olives, mushrooms and capers. No cheese.

Never thought to use capers. No cheese is just crazy talk unless its medical.

Where can I find some of that delicious medical cheese?

What kind of things do you do at home? On the other side, what do you like to do while out and about

Home -- eat, fuck, sleep.

Out and about -- eat, fuck, sleep.

My motto is "Laugh and Cum AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!". Those are yhe only 2 times nobody is mad at anybody.

WorldPeace #WeedGenius Bitches

Keep living like a champ!

Same to you

Fuck, marry, kill: Chloë Moretz, Elle Fanning, Abigail Breslin?

That is just so wonderfully fucked up.

Chloe Moretz - Marry - Love me some Hit Girl Elle Fanning - Kill - Always Liked Her Sister Better Abby Breslin - Fuck - She was really good in The Call, edited by my Tainted Love co-creator Avi Youabian.

Jacqueline Staph: Natalie Portman: Zoe Saldana?

Dude, you are a clever SOB. This one is really tough.

I am already married to Jacqueline Staph. So... FUCK. Cuz when you get married sex pretty much ends.

Marry -- Natalie and Zoe. I'm about to go Big Love on this one.

Kill -- Benjamin Millepied

Shit. Kinda wish you were Solange, doe.

http://img358.imageshack.us/img358/853/orlandoknwlsko3.jpg

I don't have anything to ask. I just wanted to thank you for doing this AMA. :)

I don't have anything to say either. I just wanted to thank you for your comment. Seriously... thank you!!

I'm watching Office Space now because I am too lazy to get up and put Say It Isn't So in, but I promise to watch it later and you can always trust the word of a 1/8 Chippewa, Cherokee, Navaho Indian.

http://i.imgur.com/dacx60Y.gif

Do you feel that Orenthal Simpson should do more time for fucking up the initials O.J.?

Where is the electric chair when you need it?

• Which one of your upcoming projects are you most excited about and can you give us some inside information about the project?
• Also, were you named after the city or was it named after you?

Orlando, Florida was in fact named after me. Spread the word.

Upcoming projects -- Sleepy Hollow is BY FAR the most exciting project I have coming up. Follow me on Twitter for updates and jokes throughout the summer.

I was always sad that you and Artie Lang never made a movie. You two were great together comedically and would have made a great duo.

Are you two OK now? On the Howard Stern show he spoke about really pissing you off and burning down all the bridges.

Neither one of us is dead yet so there's still hope. No love lost between me and Artie.

I......I love you ;)

I love you too. You wanna do this or what.

You know where to meet me....

Send me the address.

How did you prepare for your role in Training Day?

You should have won an oscar for that. I loved it even more than your outstanding role in Independence Day.

For Training Day, I fucked Eva Mendes.

My son and I are filming an ID4 Reboot RIGHT NOW!!

How much pussy you got since you got famous b?

You want an actual number or a guesstimate.

Give us a number +/- 10 pussies

It's safe to assume I was getting laid a few times a week. If we multiply that times 52 weeks in the year and multiply that by 15 years ---

You do the math.

And please send me your math cuz me no count so good.

I think I saw this question on the SATs. They wanted testers to solve for X, where X was the amount of trim Orlando Jones had over the last 15 years.

You know what they say... study to the test.

can it be measured in metric tons?

Big girls needs love too. Attention all men -- do your community service work. That means, you can't just service the pretty girls. You service who needs servicing.

Big Australian fan here Orlando! Thanks for doing this AMA, been eagerly waiting for this day for a while!

• How did you enjoy being a part of Rules of Engagement?

• Were/are you a fan and were you disappointed the show ended?

• What's Patrick Warburton like in real life?

Patrick Warburton is the definition of a stand-up guy.

Enjoyed working on the show.

Sorry to see it go.

Seriously though Mr. Orlando Jones, I have got to say that one of my favorite movies ever, and one of my favorite characters ever, is Dig Mccaffrey from Say It Isn't So

"Sorry, I would've responded sooner, but I ate a bag of weed, it took me two minutes just to pass the stems. " ~Things Dig McCaffery would say on Reddit

What's it like having a last name as your first name?

Ask my former slave masters. I had nothing to do with it.

Have you ever been a victim of racial profiling?

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane?

A pilot, you fucking racist!!

Does that answer your question??

Orlando, I wanted to drop by and say -- dude, I love "Drumline." It's such a good, underrated little flick. Do you have any fun stories you can tell from the filming?

Also... is Tyler Perry still mad at you for your April Fool's joke about taking over the role of Madea?

You should definitely tweet Tyler to ask him if he's pissed at me. I thought it was a funny joke.

Re: Drumline -- the impromptu jam sessions we did with the band were the most fun.

If they made a movie of your life, who would you want to portray you?

Why, Tyler Perry of course.

What's your most fucked up drug-related story of getting high with Artie Lange, when you two were roommates while working for MadTV?

I woke up in a hotel room that smelled like shit. The maid was banging on the door. I discovered that Artie had literally shit the bed high on cocaine and left me to clean it up. I crawled out the window, dropped down to the second floor, got fucked up rolling down the hill and went to set where he was in a pig costume filming Babe Watch.

Artie tells the rest from here.

[deleted]

Yes, it is. That's the next day.

Hello Mr. Jones, why do you think MadTV got cancelled? Were the ratings down?

After 14 years I stopped watching.

Do you still Make 7 Up Yours?

I sleep with a case of it in my bed -- if that answers your question.

What went through your head when took part in Machinima Respawn's Radio and Inbox shows? You seemed really at home with Sark and APL and nailed the whole thing!

Sark is like Matthew Mcconaughey in Dazed and Confused. He doesn't even work there and still hangs out to bang the pretty girls. My hero!!

When making Double Take did you have to study Eddie's characteristics to mimic him?

Yes. I am blinking my eyes 6 times right now. He's a tricky one.

Just saw Meridian, thought it was pretty good. Is sci-fi a favorite genre of yours?..nevermind dude i got here and had this question in my head and immediately scrolled down...and saw it was pretty much answered.

See Time Machine. Also, don't let these bitches stop you from asking your questions. Man up, mother fucker.

If you could work with any director (living or dead) who would it be, and what kind of character would you play?

Stanley Kubrick. I'd love to reprise Peter Sellers' role in Dr. Strangelove but frankly Kubrick can pick the character and bringing it to life is my job.

siiiiggghhh You are SO dreamy!

Also, I loved the movie Evolution, it is one of my favorite all time movies.

What drew you to Sleepy Hollow? I've been seeing previews for it, but it seems like it would be difficult to draw the story of the headless horseman into a drama series, as in, something that lasts more than a couple of shows.

Always loved The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and when I read the Kurtzman/Orci/Iscove script and saw that Len Wiseman was directing I was dying to be a part of it.

You're my 3rd favourite black man behind Obama and Muhammad Ali.

You're my 5th favorite commenter behind my 4th favorite commenter.

Where do I stand?

Now, you're my 6th favorite commenter.

Hello Orlando! I was wondering, what is your favorite movie that you really enjoyed doing?

Versus the favorite movie I hated doing?? I'd have to say -- all of them. Hate watching myself but LOVE my fucking job.

Do you think that television is replacing film as the medium that people will seek out content? I've noticed very good actors moving to television in a big way while we see far fewer movies hit the big screen.

Television has ALWAYS been WAY WAY WAY successful than film. Movie stars generally come from TV. The question is "how will digital impact everything?"

What are the ways that you feel responsible for Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip being cancelled?

It's really because I preferred 30 Rock but will forward your question to DL Hughley and see what he thinks.

Do you prefer your toilet paper to dispense behind the roll or in front of the roll?

Never made the switch. Still using a corn cob.

Hey Orlando! Thanks for reaching out to reddit. A friend of mine and thespian asks:

Tainted Love is awesome. Will we see you in more dramatic roles in the near future? Your performance in Drumline was fantastic.

Yes. Look for me on Sleepy Hollow on Fox this fall.

Blindfolded, given $5 and thrown into a supermarket to buy a wedding gift, what would you first think to look for?

Condoms. Gotta fuck before marriage otherwise you're stuck with that bad pussy for the rest of your life.

Have you checked out any of the other Machinima shows? Any faves?

I am digging the cLAN.

I love you man! I dont really have a question, just wanted to tell you that you should keep it up! ... well wait, what would you rather fight; a horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?

Will do. Promise.

Less is more.

Hi orlando, what do you feel was your toughest role?

Not just saying this... but Tainted Love. Graphic novels and action comedy generally don't go together.

I heard that 7up was looking for a new spokesperson. I think you'd be great. Would you consider taking the job if offered?

I would be happy to consider their offer... as long as I can accept payment in blowjobs.

Random: Are you an Alabama fan? Also, how was your experience at MadTv? (Highs and lows)

Roll Tide!! No disrespect to MadTV but we're talking about The Bama let's stay focused.

I just want to add that I too love Evolution. That's one of a handful of movies that I can always watch after a stressful day, disengage my mind and just enjoy.

My question, do you think you and David Duchovny started the "bromance" trend? Yours in the movie was the first I remember and the hottest.

Yes, there has not been another steamy, erotic bromance since I tried to stick my chocolate in his peanut butter. See my earlier comment about Duchovny for context.

Will you endorse me for the King of r/atheism?

You mean like the "King of Kings". Our lord and savior Jesus Christ? Sure. Why not.