I am the creator of the new digital series Tainted Love on Machinima Prime.

I am also one of the stars of the new Fox drama Sleepy Hollow from Alex Kurtzman, Bob Orci & Philip Iscove premiering this fall.

I also voice a number of the characters on Adult Swim's Black Dynamite

I'll hang out here for the next 3 or 4 hours to answer all your crazy ass.

I have verified that I am really me on Twitter - https://twitter.com/TheOrlandoJones

Let's do this!!!


Had a great time with you guys. This was A LOT of fun. If I missed your questions you're always welcome to come talk shit with me on Twitter and Facebook.

Be sure to check out Tainted Love.

Thanks to /u/miss_r at Machinima and /u/edify and /u/flyryan from Reddit for all their help

I'm out -- http://imgur.com/u18TGrn


I had to catch a flight. So I cut it short but now I'm airborne like a virus and back bitches!


Alright. I'm fading. Talk again soon. Maybe tomorrow. L8tr. Zzzzzzz

Comments: 1502 • Responses: 101  • Date: 

AndyDwyer818 karma

Do you consider Evolution to be the pinnacle of your career?

Because I do, and I'm still eagerly awaiting a sequel.

Orlando_Jones892 karma

Great GoogaMooga. I loved making the movie. I loved that you loved the movie. Call Ivan Reitman about sequel.

AndyDwyer250 karma

Also, I watched Bedazzled for the first time in almost a decade the other day while I was crazy drunk. We had to stop the movie when Brendan Frazier called you Dr. Ingiggitygiggitybaba because I literally almost died laughing.

Orlando_Jones447 karma

I almost won a Poolitzer Prize and my book hadn't even been Pooblished yet. Tainted Love is my book.

NobodyListens2Turtle753 karma

Best AMA ive seen in a while...this muufukka replies to every comment xD

movshare646 karma

I bet you're still trying to sell magazine subscriptions.

Orlando_Jones711 karma

Yes. Would you like to buy Tainted Love? I make you a good deal.

Wickenshire517 karma

In 1992, you appeared as a cop on an episode of Herman's Head. I don't have a question, I just wanted to remind you.

Orlando_Jones1164 karma

That's fucked up. And funny. Also, in 1992 I tried to give myself a blow job and learned that I am not THAT flexible. It was an AMAZING year.

gulpeg456 karma

Smunny484 karma

Thank you for doing a legit AMA. Most actors only answer a few questions. My respect has grown.

Orlando_Jones757 karma

Usually one someone says "my respect has grown" they're not referencing a RedditAMA. Just sayin'

Smunny504 karma

I thought it was implied that i was talking about my penis

Orlando_Jones1243 karma

benjivalentine464 karma

What Flavour ice cream do you want?

Orlando_Jones1500 karma

It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.

msfoote26 karma

Just a little deeper.

Orlando_Jones69 karma

No more! No deeper!

Ahealthycat441 karma

Dude, I love when you're in movies. You don't play the stereotypical black guy. You have your own persona for each role and that makes you a great actor. Just wanted to tell you that.

Orlando_Jones1448 karma

I'm blushing right now but I am so black no one can tell that my face is red.

aTinyPanda407 karma


Orlando_Jones1321 karma

I got second degree sunburns while filming that movie. A bunch of the real football players took me to a swingers bar where I watched one of the cheerleaders from the movie get banged by one of the referees from the movie. I called flag on the play and left. True. Fucking. Story.

medioxcore318 karma

you're answers..

i mean.. ethan hawke's were amazing. but these are amazing in such a completely different way.

Orlando_Jones1003 karma

Loved working with him in Training Day. My nigga!!

The601199 karma

Where are you right now? I'm coming over there to high-five you for this answer.

Orlando_Jones615 karma

I'm on plane flying to DC! This'll be my highest high five. Read into that what you want.

Orlando_Jones391 karma

I had to catch a flight. So I cut it short but now I'm airborne like a virus and back bitches!

justinurrkunt390 karma

Do you think that people gave Dave Chapelle too much shit for his racial skits, which included Clayton Bigsby, the black-white supremacist?

Orlando_Jones902 karma

Absolutely. Chapelle is a visionary comedian.

tootie585 karma

Clayton Bigsby was an absolute watershed moment in American race relations. When the white teenagers are thrilled to be called niggers by a black man it marked the pinnacle of postmodern society.

Orlando_Jones470 karma

True dat! Best comment of the day is yours.

motherfuckingArtieL389 karma

When you were at the studio in May, you didn't happen to run off with my coke, did you?

Orlando_Jones929 karma

No, I snorted it in the bathroom asshole. Who "runs off" with coke?

motherfuckingArtieL372 karma

Fuck, I had a whole kilo.

Orlando_Jones1322 karma

I know. My dick has been hard for a month.

mlowery2374 karma

tell me a joke

Orlando_Jones1738 karma

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who cares -- let them bitches sit in the fucking dark!!

justinurrkunt354 karma

What other major movie or TV stars do you feel are taking roles that should be yours? Tom Cruise?

Orlando_Jones1537 karma

Daniel Day Lewis. I could have played Lincoln. Fuck that guy.

lemonbell181 karma

I would rather see you play a Roosevelt.

fuzzycuffs179 karma

Teddy or Eleanor?

Orlando_Jones1013 karma

Teddy. Tyler Perry has been offered the role of Eleanor

THEAdamHill345 karma

So, Deborah Wilson. You saw those right?

Orlando_Jones1105 karma

I did. Before the reduction. Not in a sexual way. She's like my sister who I jack off thinking about on occasion.

G35341 karma

How did you get turned on to Reddit? It seems more and more celebrities are doing these kind of interviews (which is great).

Orlando_Jones1368 karma

Wait... I thought this was AOL.

eelassirak265 karma

Dang I actually wanted the answer to this.

Orlando_Jones451 karma

I'm nerd dude. Need I say more. Been loving reddit for a minute. My boys Noam (producer of Tainted Love) and Avi (co-creator and director of Tainted LOve) turned me on to it.

alien005289 karma

Hey Orlando! Just wanted to say thank you for making me laugh all these years. On a personal note, my dad and i didn't along so well but one of the few times we bonded was over your mad tv oj Simpson sketch. Still the funniest sketch to this day.

Make 7, up yours!

Url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umUXVRU_neM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Orlando_Jones265 karma

Thanks man. That and Annie Ho are my personal favorites.

MCKilla267 karma

On avg, how many respectable young entrepreneurial women do you pull per year?

Orlando_Jones855 karma

After pulling my wife I thought it might be a good idea to drill down on that one until I strike oil.

UCanCallMeDuckey662 karma

Is this some kind of an anal reference?

Orlando_Jones853 karma


Redsonrising286 karma

That's just crude.

Orlando_Jones256 karma

You're right. I'm offended I'm gong to send a letter of complaint to myself.

redDisco234 karma

What do you think Peter Gibbons did with his 40 subscriptions to Vibe? Office Space kind of left us hanging on that one.

Orlando_Jones749 karma

You are totally right. Fuck Mike Judge and his half assed story telling. That shit was worse than the ending of lost.

mysteryguitarm231 karma

How amazing was it working with amazing MysteryGuitarMan on the amazing web series Meridian?

Orlando_Jones405 karma

Amazing. Mystery Guitar Man is AMAZING. I mean, I don't actually know who he is or anything about him because he wears sun glasses and "it's a mystery." Fucking hipsters.

mysteryguitarm225 karma


Seriously, though. Tainted Love is awesome. I just checked out the pilot of Sleepy Hollow... amazing.

Good things are coming your way, sir.

Orlando_Jones276 karma

Looking forward to our next project together brother. Get your ass off of Reddit and get to work.

throwawayforJune6216 karma

I made this account just to ask you a question!

Do you ever get recognized from Office Space (one of my favorite movies ever)?

Did you have any sense of how huge that movie was going to become when you were shooting it?

Orlando_Jones475 karma

Not a clue. The movie bombed at the box office. Jennifer Aniston didn't help us AT ALL.

gulpeg167 karma

Orlando_Jones650 karma

I'm pissed. I paid $10 to see "The Break Up" and at no point did Jennifer Aniston get naked and fuck Vince's brains out so he would know what he was gonna be missing. That's standard operating procedure.

cabreezy211 karma

Is Tyler Perry bad for film? Bad for anything?

Orlando_Jones1000 karma

Tyler Perry is the most prolific black filmmakers in the world.

That said, maybe racism isn't all bad.

Giantxbones208 karma

Mr. Orlando Jones, I, as well as my wife, want to know if you will have sex with us. Not together, but one at a time. Full disclosure, I'm a dude.

Orlando_Jones325 karma

If it was full disclosure you'd send me a naked picture of your wife and leave the country while I fucked her (long distance rule and all).

Giantxbones133 karma

That's fine, but I'd have to be first, and she wants to go to Japan anyway.

Orlando_Jones343 karma

OK. I'll go to Japan with her. You can fuck the guy from Juwanna Man who supposedly looks like me.

whycantispeakfinnish205 karma

Is there a TV show that you would like to guess star on? If so, what show and why?

Orlando_Jones1012 karma

Mad Men. I know this is gonna sound crazy -- but there were actually black people living and working and thriving in New York City in the 1960s.

Mikesquito191 karma

Hey Orlando! Thanks for doing this AMA, I am a fan! I have a few questions for you.

  • What was it like working with David Duchovny in Evolution? P.S. You were great in that movie.
  • Is there time for lubricant?
  • Why did the "Make 7 up yours" commercials stop? They were amazing.
  • How did you end up being in MysterGuitarMan's series Meridian? And what was it like working with him? It was awesome! Will there be more?

Thank you!

Orlando_Jones500 karma

  1. Duchonvy is a funny dude. And very sexy. I tried to fuck that several times. And he kept getting weird. And saying "I'm not gay. You're not gay. What are you doing??"

  2. There's always time for lubricant bitch. You know that.

  3. I did not want to do them any more.

  4. MGM and I met at ComicCon. I'm a huge fan. We'll be doing more things together.

HandicapperGeneral273 karma

Everyone is gay for David Duchovny.

Orlando_Jones387 karma

Wiser words have never been spoken.

justinurrkunt180 karma

Did you get your job on MadTV because you are related to Quincy Jones?

Orlando_Jones376 karma

Yes. He's my little nephew.

patronizingperv230 karma

Follow up to that.

You mind if I bang your grand-niece?

dougiedeeds177 karma

Oh....and..quick question. Will the hook in my penis ever straighten out?

Orlando_Jones705 karma

That's a GREAT question. Be thankful your penis is long enough to hook.

The_Zeus_Is_Loose150 karma

Who would you rather punch, Gene Hackman or Keanu Reeves?

Orlando_Jones501 karma

You can't punch a 75 year old man. Sorry Keanu.

onlyhereforfantasy142 karma

Did you fall in love with Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled? I don't know how you even got your lines out in that pool table scene.

Orlando_Jones387 karma

We ate carrot ginger soup in her trailer. Came 3 times. It was orange. She asked me to leave. Had a baby with Steve Bing. Guess I didn't have enough gold for digging.

onlyhereforfantasy129 karma

Bing Laden strikes again.

TheMurdocktor139 karma

Thanks for the Retweet...motherfucker.

That being said... Did ever really shower with those volleyball players in Evolution?

Orlando_Jones307 karma

I do shower. That's all I can really say.

motherfuckingArtieL131 karma

Can you tell everyone about that party you were high at that had a row of about 20 girls on their knees, and you went down the row sticking your dick in each one's mouth until you came?

Orlando_Jones554 karma

It wasn't a party. It was a political fundraiser.

Boxthemuppet131 karma

Huge fan of your work. I still wear my "Make 7 Up yours" shirt. Now for the question. What's your favorite pizza topping?

Orlando_Jones215 karma

Black olives, mushrooms and capers. No cheese.

Boxthemuppet132 karma

Never thought to use capers. No cheese is just crazy talk unless its medical.

Orlando_Jones638 karma

Where can I find some of that delicious medical cheese?

supersonic994130 karma

What kind of things do you do at home? On the other side, what do you like to do while out and about

Orlando_Jones576 karma

Home -- eat, fuck, sleep.

Out and about -- eat, fuck, sleep.

My motto is "Laugh and Cum AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!". Those are yhe only 2 times nobody is mad at anybody.

WorldPeace #WeedGenius Bitches

supersonic99474 karma

Keep living like a champ!

Orlando_Jones136 karma

justinurrkunt127 karma

Fuck, marry, kill: Chloƫ Moretz, Elle Fanning, Abigail Breslin?

Orlando_Jones273 karma

That is just so wonderfully fucked up.

Chloe Moretz - Marry - Love me some Hit Girl Elle Fanning - Kill - Always Liked Her Sister Better Abby Breslin - Fuck - She was really good in The Call, edited by my Tainted Love co-creator Avi Youabian.

justinurrkunt94 karma

Jacqueline Staph: Natalie Portman: Zoe Saldana?

Orlando_Jones348 karma

Dude, you are a clever SOB. This one is really tough.

I am already married to Jacqueline Staph. So... FUCK. Cuz when you get married sex pretty much ends.

Marry -- Natalie and Zoe. I'm about to go Big Love on this one.

Kill -- Benjamin Millepied

vultuream125 karma

Shit. Kinda wish you were Solange, doe.

soupdogg8122 karma

I don't have anything to ask. I just wanted to thank you for doing this AMA. :)

Orlando_Jones262 karma

I don't have anything to say either. I just wanted to thank you for your comment. Seriously... thank you!!

UCanCallMeDuckey118 karma

I'm watching Office Space now because I am too lazy to get up and put Say It Isn't So in, but I promise to watch it later and you can always trust the word of a 1/8 Chippewa, Cherokee, Navaho Indian.

justinurrkunt109 karma

Do you feel that Orenthal Simpson should do more time for fucking up the initials O.J.?

Orlando_Jones198 karma

Where is the electric chair when you need it?

justinurrkunt107 karma

  • Which one of your upcoming projects are you most excited about and can you give us some inside information about the project?
  • Also, were you named after the city or was it named after you?

Orlando_Jones303 karma

Orlando, Florida was in fact named after me. Spread the word.

Upcoming projects -- Sleepy Hollow is BY FAR the most exciting project I have coming up. Follow me on Twitter for updates and jokes throughout the summer.

lumpking69103 karma

I was always sad that you and Artie Lang never made a movie. You two were great together comedically and would have made a great duo.

Are you two OK now? On the Howard Stern show he spoke about really pissing you off and burning down all the bridges.

Orlando_Jones208 karma

Neither one of us is dead yet so there's still hope. No love lost between me and Artie.

rockit66299 karma

I......I love you ;)

Orlando_Jones253 karma

I love you too. You wanna do this or what.

rockit662110 karma

You know where to meet me....

Orlando_Jones158 karma

Send me the address.

sonofarex99 karma

How did you prepare for your role in Training Day?

You should have won an oscar for that. I loved it even more than your outstanding role in Independence Day.

Orlando_Jones313 karma

For Training Day, I fucked Eva Mendes.

My son and I are filming an ID4 Reboot RIGHT NOW!!

CleverSlogan90 karma

How much pussy you got since you got famous b?

Orlando_Jones181 karma

You want an actual number or a guesstimate.

kuhawk5108 karma

Give us a number +/- 10 pussies

Orlando_Jones265 karma

It's safe to assume I was getting laid a few times a week. If we multiply that times 52 weeks in the year and multiply that by 15 years ---

You do the math.

And please send me your math cuz me no count so good.

Wickenshire149 karma

I think I saw this question on the SATs. They wanted testers to solve for X, where X was the amount of trim Orlando Jones had over the last 15 years.

Orlando_Jones194 karma

You know what they say... study to the test.

stephenc9036 karma

can it be measured in metric tons?

Orlando_Jones150 karma

Big girls needs love too. Attention all men -- do your community service work. That means, you can't just service the pretty girls. You service who needs servicing.

johnsmith0000090 karma

Big Australian fan here Orlando! Thanks for doing this AMA, been eagerly waiting for this day for a while!

  • How did you enjoy being a part of Rules of Engagement?

  • Were/are you a fan and were you disappointed the show ended?

  • What's Patrick Warburton like in real life?

Orlando_Jones170 karma

Patrick Warburton is the definition of a stand-up guy.

Enjoyed working on the show.

Sorry to see it go.

Giantxbones85 karma

Seriously though Mr. Orlando Jones, I have got to say that one of my favorite movies ever, and one of my favorite characters ever, is Dig Mccaffrey from Say It Isn't So

Orlando_Jones250 karma

"Sorry, I would've responded sooner, but I ate a bag of weed, it took me two minutes just to pass the stems. " ~Things Dig McCaffery would say on Reddit

BurnThrough84 karma

What's it like having a last name as your first name?

Orlando_Jones301 karma

Ask my former slave masters. I had nothing to do with it.

chamaleon8883 karma

Have you ever been a victim of racial profiling?

Orlando_Jones277 karma

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane?

A pilot, you fucking racist!!

Does that answer your question??

Chastain8680 karma

Orlando, I wanted to drop by and say -- dude, I love "Drumline." It's such a good, underrated little flick. Do you have any fun stories you can tell from the filming?

Also... is Tyler Perry still mad at you for your April Fool's joke about taking over the role of Madea?

Orlando_Jones142 karma

You should definitely tweet Tyler to ask him if he's pissed at me. I thought it was a funny joke.

Re: Drumline -- the impromptu jam sessions we did with the band were the most fun.

Ba-na-na-na79 karma

If they made a movie of your life, who would you want to portray you?

Orlando_Jones278 karma

Why, Tyler Perry of course.

justinurrkunt78 karma

What's your most fucked up drug-related story of getting high with Artie Lange, when you two were roommates while working for MadTV?

Orlando_Jones206 karma

I woke up in a hotel room that smelled like shit. The maid was banging on the door. I discovered that Artie had literally shit the bed high on cocaine and left me to clean it up. I crawled out the window, dropped down to the second floor, got fucked up rolling down the hill and went to set where he was in a pig costume filming Babe Watch.

Artie tells the rest from here.

QuoteWorkingEndQuote68 karma


Orlando_Jones109 karma

Yes, it is. That's the next day.

illadilla78 karma

Hello Mr. Jones, why do you think MadTV got cancelled? Were the ratings down?

Orlando_Jones328 karma

After 14 years I stopped watching.

manofoar66 karma

Do you still Make 7 Up Yours?

Orlando_Jones147 karma

I sleep with a case of it in my bed -- if that answers your question.

riikila66 karma

What went through your head when took part in Machinima Respawn's Radio and Inbox shows? You seemed really at home with Sark and APL and nailed the whole thing!

Orlando_Jones141 karma

Sark is like Matthew Mcconaughey in Dazed and Confused. He doesn't even work there and still hangs out to bang the pretty girls. My hero!!

Frajer66 karma

When making Double Take did you have to study Eddie's characteristics to mimic him?

Orlando_Jones152 karma

Yes. I am blinking my eyes 6 times right now. He's a tricky one.

PugsBugs64 karma

Just saw Meridian, thought it was pretty good. Is sci-fi a favorite genre of yours?..nevermind dude i got here and had this question in my head and immediately scrolled down...and saw it was pretty much answered.

Orlando_Jones261 karma

See Time Machine. Also, don't let these bitches stop you from asking your questions. Man up, mother fucker.

Valint46 karma

If you could work with any director (living or dead) who would it be, and what kind of character would you play?

Orlando_Jones118 karma

Stanley Kubrick. I'd love to reprise Peter Sellers' role in Dr. Strangelove but frankly Kubrick can pick the character and bringing it to life is my job.

fatedperegrine44 karma

siiiiggghhh You are SO dreamy!

Also, I loved the movie Evolution, it is one of my favorite all time movies.

What drew you to Sleepy Hollow? I've been seeing previews for it, but it seems like it would be difficult to draw the story of the headless horseman into a drama series, as in, something that lasts more than a couple of shows.

Orlando_Jones78 karma

Always loved The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and when I read the Kurtzman/Orci/Iscove script and saw that Len Wiseman was directing I was dying to be a part of it.

JackErskine41 karma

You're my 3rd favourite black man behind Obama and Muhammad Ali.

Orlando_Jones170 karma

You're my 5th favorite commenter behind my 4th favorite commenter.

gulpeg16 karma

Where do I stand?

Orlando_Jones37 karma

Now, you're my 6th favorite commenter.

adrianmorales31 karma

Hello Orlando! I was wondering, what is your favorite movie that you really enjoyed doing?

Orlando_Jones79 karma

Versus the favorite movie I hated doing?? I'd have to say -- all of them. Hate watching myself but LOVE my fucking job.

Dr_Fishman22 karma

Do you think that television is replacing film as the medium that people will seek out content? I've noticed very good actors moving to television in a big way while we see far fewer movies hit the big screen.

Orlando_Jones77 karma

Television has ALWAYS been WAY WAY WAY successful than film. Movie stars generally come from TV. The question is "how will digital impact everything?"

justinurrkunt12 karma

What are the ways that you feel responsible for Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip being cancelled?

Orlando_Jones40 karma

It's really because I preferred 30 Rock but will forward your question to DL Hughley and see what he thinks.

chainsaw_sharkfart6 karma

Do you prefer your toilet paper to dispense behind the roll or in front of the roll?

Orlando_Jones20 karma

Never made the switch. Still using a corn cob.

edify5 karma

Hey Orlando! Thanks for reaching out to reddit. A friend of mine and thespian asks:

Tainted Love is awesome. Will we see you in more dramatic roles in the near future? Your performance in Drumline was fantastic.

Orlando_Jones14 karma

Yes. Look for me on Sleepy Hollow on Fox this fall.

CustardFilled5 karma

Blindfolded, given $5 and thrown into a supermarket to buy a wedding gift, what would you first think to look for?

Orlando_Jones27 karma

Condoms. Gotta fuck before marriage otherwise you're stuck with that bad pussy for the rest of your life.

clickclickboom125 karma

Have you checked out any of the other Machinima shows? Any faves?

Orlando_Jones7 karma

I am digging the cLAN.

Malaguena5 karma

I love you man! I dont really have a question, just wanted to tell you that you should keep it up! ... well wait, what would you rather fight; a horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?

Orlando_Jones12 karma

Will do. Promise.

Orlando_Jones10 karma

Less is more.

Sanders16935 karma

Hi orlando, what do you feel was your toughest role?

Orlando_Jones8 karma

Not just saying this... but Tainted Love. Graphic novels and action comedy generally don't go together.

justinurrkunt4 karma

I heard that 7up was looking for a new spokesperson. I think you'd be great. Would you consider taking the job if offered?

Orlando_Jones11 karma

I would be happy to consider their offer... as long as I can accept payment in blowjobs.

Mister4te4 karma

Random: Are you an Alabama fan? Also, how was your experience at MadTv? (Highs and lows)

Orlando_Jones17 karma

Roll Tide!! No disrespect to MadTV but we're talking about The Bama let's stay focused.

BoredVet3 karma

I just want to add that I too love Evolution. That's one of a handful of movies that I can always watch after a stressful day, disengage my mind and just enjoy.

My question, do you think you and David Duchovny started the "bromance" trend? Yours in the movie was the first I remember and the hottest.

Orlando_Jones6 karma

Yes, there has not been another steamy, erotic bromance since I tried to stick my chocolate in his peanut butter. See my earlier comment about Duchovny for context.

Jamison151 karma

Will you endorse me for the King of r/atheism?

Orlando_Jones8 karma

You mean like the "King of Kings". Our lord and savior Jesus Christ? Sure. Why not.