IAmA TSA Agent at a large international airport. AMA about how much the TSA sucks

What's your job there? Are you a Certified Groper, or do you just scan the luggage?

I am certified in pat downs, baggage checker, document checker, among other things.

I feel like groping is forcefully sliding a hand across someone's body. When I last went through the TSA, I was fondled when the dude cupped his hand around my balls and shaft not once, not twice, not even three times, but four fucking times this dude grabbed my junk. I was honestly too shocked to even call him out on it, I just wanted out of there -- it was creepy as fuck.

Call them out on it and ask for a supervisor. If its inappropriate it won't get fixed if you don't say anything.

I declined to go through the X-ray body scanner, so I was shuffled off to the side while this woman, clearly upset I was inconveniencing her by trying to limit my radiation exposure (despite the fact they allowed a family of 4 immediately after me to move through the standard metal detector when THEY "opted out") shouts "OPT OUT I GOT AN OPT OUT". She does this for the next 15 mins, all the while telling me she "had someone on their way." Eventually she got another dude that had been standing around the whole time to do it, his demeanor even more clearly hostile. He threw my bags on top of my sunglasses and phone before he fondled me, too. Unfortunately, I needed to catch my flight soon and I didn't have the time to complain. I don't fly very often but my experience with TSA leaves me with the impression that they recruit idiots who want to act like thugs right alongside poor, uneducated drones simply trying to make a living. Neither case makes our flights any safer, irregardless of the policies implemented. The security is only as good as it's weakest link.

I wouldn't have been the first to complain and I wouldn't be the last. You almost sound as if my silence is somehow keeping the lid on how shitty the TSA is. Everybody knows. The policy-makers in Washington (the only people who support the TSA) don't care. Fuck the TSA.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience but here's a little bit of my perspective when that happens to me.

First, I realize that sometimes I have a poor demeanor about it (I try my best to be polite to the passenger) but the attitude is not directed towards them. It's towards my co-workers and the fact that I know that you're probably going to be waiting 10 or 15 minutes for someone to come and help you. It's frustrating for me to have to sit there, call over and over again for 15 minutes knowing exactly who is available and who isn't and knowing that the people who are available aren't responding because they just don't want to do a pat down. Second, it even further frustrates me because then it makes me seem like I'm the asshole when all I really want is to get you through and on your way as painlessly as possible. Are there bad apples in the TSA? Of course there are. And when those (surprisingly) few screw up, as with any organization that interacts with the public, that's all you hear about.

As to your second paragraph, you're actually in the minority of people who don't support the TSA. I stated earlier in my posts here that my checkpoint will see 9k people average in 8 hours. And nearly every time I interact with a passenger, it's positive and I get thanked so much for being a TSA officer. So yes, your silence may actually matter. Even if it was a small chance, you should say something. If you don't you don't have room to complain if it doesn't get better.

I had to transport the ashes of our friend to a attend their memorial service in another state and I had to fly with the container of ashes. I was very nervous about how TSA would respond and treat me as well as how they would handle the ashes. Obviously, I didn't want to put the container of ashes into a checked bag so I carried them with me.

Before the memorial service, one of the adult children requested that some of the deceased ashes be held back so he could take the remaining ashes to the fishing hole where his father (the deceased) taught him & his brother how to fish. However, they were too broken up to handle the ashes at that point in their lives so I had to fly home with some of the ashes.

The TSA agents on both check ins were so nice and very respectful of my friends remains. I was so grateful that they handled the scan quickly, quietly and with respect for the contents of the box that I carried the remains in, it meant so much to me.

With all the complaints that you all get for doing such a difficult job every day, I really want to say thank you for doing some things so well.

I'm glad you had a good experience and they were respectful of the deceased.

How conspicuous are marijuana edibles such as brownies? Just curious, no reason.

In regards to food, as long as it is not a cream, paste or liquid over 3.4 oz, you are free to bring it through the checkpoint

So, ok. Under 3.4 ounces of acetone, 3.4 ounces of hydrogen peroxide, and assorted catalysts, all of this would be just fine to bring onboard ? Cause, ya see, I got this really temperamental hairdo, and I can never find the stuff I need to maintain it when I travel.

{ok does anyone actually buy that line of BS ? ;) }

Actually anything peroxide or acetone based, AFAIK, is not allowed in any quantity.

How many people a day complain about the TSA policies to your face?

Maybe 2 or 3 hundred. Then again, my checkpoint pushes through about 9,000 people on average during my 8 hour shift.

Do those complaints move through you to the higher ups? Do you believe in what you do?

Only if people report them. But ill be honest, unless its legitimate, there's not much that will be done. If your complaining that you have to take something out of your pocket that you always carry with you your complaint is going to fall on deaf ears as opposed to a TSA officer called you a slur

What's the craziest thing you have found or seen someone find in a person's luggage?

two bags of sand, a bottle of lube, a casanova brand ass plug, and a porn dvd. That was the only thing in his bag.

You got a problem with that?

No, just worried.

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No.

I am a classical musician and I have heard numerous stories about musicians having their instruments harmed or even ruined, including one famous cellist who's $20,000 bow was destroyed (Story here) What can you tell us about how you handle valuable items like art or musical instruments?

When art or instruments comes through the checkpoint as carry on I handle them as carefully as I can. Depending on the size/value of it I will personally take it and hand check it with the owner standing with me, instructing me on how to open/close things, where to pick it up, etc. I do NOT want to break anyone's property if it's worth $1 or 100,000.

I however, am not yet checked bag certified so I have no control over what goes on when you check a bag. However, I do want to let you know that more often than not, it's the ramp rats loading it into the plane that fuck things up.

TIL ramp rats is a thing

lol that is what we lovingly call the baggage handlers on the flight ramps.

Ramp Rat scum this is why TSA get blamed for everything Ramp Rat in trouble

I wouldn't say everything, but if you have anything you care about, don't check it in baggage.

Care to share some security flaws within the airport? In other words, what's the best way to smuggle?

On the off chance that someone ends up seeing this and finds out who I am, I'm unfortunately not going to share any smuggling techniques with you. Sorry <3

I smell woman. One step closer to finding you...

ahem

Cat doesn't look like he/she is bothered at all.

Not with that attitude.;)

How many dicks have you grabbed?

Maybe a few less than you, I'd wager.

Touch my butthole

Buy me dinner first.

How come the "random screening" always end up picking out brown people for secondary screening? Source: Brown guy who has been "randomly" selected for "SSSS" almost everytime passing through a US airport

SSSS is your airline. I have nothing to do with what goes into your boarding pass.

Has anyone ever 'cried wolf' in a security line? Like someone screaming "terrorist!!!" ?

No. That would be a very, very poor life decision where I work.

How would you handle someone who said that if they were lying? Is there a standard way to handle these types of people?

The end result, at my airport, would be a conversation and a likely arrest with the state police. I believe there is a law that will charge you with disruption of the screening processes (for lack of a better term) and comes with some pretty hefty penalties.

So what are some notable changes that you would suggest to the TSA? like hiring changes? hiring standards? better training? fewer pointless procedures?

First and foremost I would like to see better hiring standards. Right now, all you need is a pulse, a GED/high school diploma, and a clear medical exam. The TSA needs to start requiring things like bachelors degrees and increase the pay a little bit to attract more talent and people who will value their job. The more people that are brought on that value the job, the more efficient the TSA will be and it could actually save money that way. The second is that there needs to be an overhaul in the way things are done with the development of policies and the frequency in which the policies are changed. Most of the policies are done by people in DC who don't see how they actually work out in real life. think of that show undercover boss. They have people on there that talk about how they put these policies in place but never intended to have it work the way it does. And the policies change so much that it can be truly hard for people to keep up which causes inconsistency and leads to passengers going "Well I was allowed to bring it through in Dallas, why can't I bring it through in Miami?" Third, we need to educate the passengers on why things are being done in order to prove that yes, it is necessary. The scanners for instance are a result of people like the shoe bomber. They used materials that were entirely organic and made of paper. If we were using solely metal detectors, we would NEVER catch those items in a million years because paper doesn't alarm those machines. But most people don't know that and instead want to rebel against them.

Those are my top three. If I can think of more, I'll let you know

A bachelors degree in what?

Emergency management and arson investigation

How do promotions work at the TSA? Do they promote from within, or bring in managers from outside?

It depends on the job posting. Most postings make it to USA jobs and anyone qualified can apply but for certain positions they only take internal considerations because it doesn't make sense to grab someone off the street that doesn't know the way the TSA works and expect them to supervise effectively.

Have you ever seen unjust groping or any inappropriate conduct from coworkers and tried to stop it?

No I haven't seen anything that was unjust or inappropriate in my checkpoint. If I did see it though you bet your ass I'd speak up. We have a job to do sure but it is entirely inappropriate and uncalled for to abuse passengers or the position that we have.

I understand the need for restrictions on liquids, but it would be really cool if there was some sort of spectrometer/scanner at the i.d./ticket podium which would allow me to bring a sealed bottle of water through, instead of getting gouged for 6 dollars once I am past security. Any thoughts on this, is there a way?

Bring an empty bottle with you and fill it up at one of the water fountains inside the check point.

This is where you thank me for saving the tax payers millions of dollars on water bottle scanners lol ;)

good in theory, but have you tasted the tap water in some our fine cities?...errr no thanks

A lot of airports tend to have filtered water fountains (I know mine does) but I can't speak for that with 100% authority.

What does an average day consist of?

Also, Proof.

I'll be along with proof shortly (someone admitting they work there isn't enough ;p)

Average day is 8 hours working body scanners, document checks, exit control, and bag checks. It's really nothing too exciting.

What is the longest line you have seen at a TSA checkpoint? 40 minutes for me at Fort Myers on Tuesday.

I work at the busiest checkpoint at my airport (9000 people avg between 4 am and 1230) and we keep our total wait time at about 20 minutes

How are you able to cap it like that? Especially with flight delays and more people unexpectedly coming through at the same time

we actually know exactly how many people to expect because we know how many flights are leaving our checkpoint at a given time and we know how many seats are on those flights so we adjust accordingly - so we don't just get an unexpected rush of people.

Also, I talk about wait times in regards to how long it takes for a person to enter my security line after they get their ticket to when they are collecting their belongings and going to their flights. Time spent in the ticket line I have no control over so there's nothing I can do/no reason for us to keep track of it. That's all the airlines. So during rush hour, an avg wait of 40 minutes sounds reasonable, but we keep our end as low as we can.

Are you guys trained how to be sensitive to different cultural expectations, requirements, etc of international visitors to USA?

Yes.

oO that sounds interesting. How would you compare your attidtude towards an American and a European for example?

It has more to do with things like religion and language barriers than simply being from somewhere but everyone gets the respect they deserve. Sometimes more than they deserve

So, a couple of more hard hitting questions:

If the liquid policy is to stop liquid explosives from being carried on plane, why are they all thrown in a trash can that's surrounded with 100s of civilians?

Have you seen or heard of a single bona fide terrorist being caught by the TSA?

If the liquid policy is to stop liquid explosives from being carried on plane, why are they all thrown in a trash can that's surrounded with 100s of civilians?

Common sense doesn't typically apply to the federal government. I just hope that if I toss away something volatile and blow up, they name the terminal after me.

Have you seen or heard of a single bona fide terrorist being caught by the TSA?

I can't go to deep into this because I'm not sure I'm allowed to, but common sense should tell you that not everything makes the news.

Why are most TSA agents so grumpy? I've always approached them with a friendly attitude and they just want none of it!

Before you got there they likely had to deal with hundreds, or even thousands more people who were likely not as friendly as you are.

I recently gained one awesome point in Cards Against Humanity for saying that the TSA recently introduced a policy that banned doing the right thing. How prophetic was this particular round of Cards Against Humanity?

Only applies to flights going to Soviet Russia. In Soviet Russia, right thing bans you.

As someone who's flying for the first time this summer...what should I be prepared for before boarding? I have no idea what to do or expect. I've never even been in an airport. It's mildly terrifying.

the first thing you can do is visit the TSA website at www.tsa.gov. They have a bunch of info you can check out on how to make it as easy as possible.

Second, when you get to the airport, make sure you LISTEN. There are a shitload of points where you're being told the same thing over and over again that will get you through security quickly.

Get there two hours early to give yourself plenty of time to get through everything. Who knows what kind of delay you will have in traffic or at the airport.

You're going to have to go through the security lanes and hopefully, it's somewhat organized. Based off my experience at my checkpoint, DO NOT FLY OUT BEFORE 8 AM. Everyone and their mother wants to get their early and go to where they need to be. That's the worst time. Fly out around 9. USUALLY lines will have died down by then and it will be so much easier.

Has anyone you worked with ever been fired for stealing? Or harrassment or anything of the sort?

No not yet. I know it's happened at other airports but the only people I know who have been fired have been let go for just being lazy.

How lazy do you have to be to get fired from the TSA?

actually not that lazy. The amount of detail we actually have to pay attention to is pretty staggering. It's not a hard job, but there is a lot going on that can get you fired pretty easily.

Do you guys receive any sort of standardized training on how to deal with medical equipment/devices? I have a few connected devices and get treated differently every time I fly.

Yes but unfortunately the policies end up changing so much that it can sometimes be hard to keep up. If you don't mind sharing what they are I can tell you how you should be screened.

I wear both a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) and an insulin pump. Basically, the pump looks like a pager that's attached to a an infusion set via a tube. In my case, the infusion set is a metal needle that goes under my skin, but a lot of people have plastic sets. The CGM is two parts: a wire that goes into my skin with an external dock that a transmitter hooks into, and a receiver. I can't go through backscatter or millimeter wave machines because of the pump, so I always opt out and go for the pat down (I'm sure I'd have to go through that anyway once the image turned up the devices on my body.)

I've had some agents insist that they need to see where the tube from the pump is actually going into my body, others tell me to disconnect and send it through the xray (which I can't do), and had one try to tell me that I had to remove the transmitter from the docking portion of my CGM. From what I understand of the regulations, the most I should be required to do is allow them to visually inspect my devices and swab my hands for explosives residue after I handle them, but I'm not sure if there's some subset of the TSA rules that I should carry with me for folks who don't know or what.

I should be required to do is allow them to visually inspect my devices and swab my hands for explosives residue after I handle them, but I'm not sure if there's some subset of the TSA rules that I should carry with me for folks who don't know or what.

This is exactly what you are required to do. We are not allowed to ask you to disconnect any part of a medical device for your health concerns and it is inappropriate to ask you to expose parts of your body where things like tubes enter. If any low level officer asks you to do so, promptly refuse, then call for the supervisor. If the supervisor insists, call for their supervisor and politely ask them to check their SOP to ensure that you are being screened properly. (Not in such a way that you sound like you know their job better than them)

Thank you for doing an this AMA and I've appreciated learning about your job, though I do have one issue to discuss with you:

(Not in such a way that you sound like you know their job better than them)

Why would this be a problem? As a professional pilot I would be impressed by any passenger that knew the regs better than I did.

Because you don't want to accidentally sound like a pompous ass when you're trying to get help. Not everyone out there likes being told how to do their job and saying something in the wrong tone/manner is a good way to not get the help you need. Its always safer to just be polite as possible

Are there any people you work with that joined the TSA just to grope people?

Maybe, but I highly doubt it.

Are TSA officer Law Enforcement Officers? Can you carry a firearm off-duty due to LEOSA?

No, TSA are not law enforcement officers. Any firearm I have off duty is personal and subject to the same regulations as everyone else.

I forgot to check my carry-on once and I had a 5 inch hunting knife in my bag. I was on a camping trip in Alaska and it was a total mistake. They (TSA) asked if I had anything sharp in my bag and I said no. Then they told me they found a knife. I apologized profusely. They procedded to tell me I could pack it in my luggage that goes in the plane or give to who eve I came with outside in the car or just toss it out. I opted to toss it out and I told them how I forgot I had it. I usually request a pat down instead of going through the body scanner. Usually I get a smirk but now I'm wondering if they will forever look me with suspicion. I'm also a Muslim and it is obvious from my name so that probably doesn't help. Am I on some sort of watchlist now? Or does it show up on some record every-time I fly that I had a knife by mistake?

Edi: Spelling

No...they probably forgot who you were the second you left the airport.

You're not the first and will not be the last who forgot they had an item in their bag or "forgot" they had an item in their bag.

I was flying out of Orlando, Florida recently. My family and I had already passed through the TSA checkpoint and we were waiting at our gate. As they called for first boarding, five TSA agents arrived to randomly check carry-ons at the gate. I only noticed 2 or 3 people pulled aside and this was a full flight. There could have been more checked. Why would the TSA do this after the checkpoint? Thanks.

To randomize security.

How can the TSA allow you to carry a 1 inch pocket knife but not a double edge razor used for shaving?

I don't know why they are that way. If my opinion on the subject mattered if be running things

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I want to be a canine handler and the first place that offered that position to call me back and offer me a job was where I was going to go. TSA just happened to be first so I took it. Pay is ok and the health care is amazing so I have no problem toughing it out here.

The main driving force in my life is that I want to succeed and end up working in a job that I've always wanted.

How can I reduce my chances of getting groped?

by listening to the numerous things that tell you what to take out of your pockets and bag. also by not wearing anything with a lot of zippers or glittery/shiny fabric. idk why they jsut dont play well with the body scanners

Do you believe in the practices that the TSA enforce? Such as full body scanners?

I believe that there is a valid need for airport security. Despite what many people would like to believe there are numerous people out there that are still trying to attack the airlines in the country because it hits all of the major targets on a terrorist attack: economy, public, etc.

What I don't believe in is that the way in which TSA is going about it as far as general policy goes for several reasons. First being the standards are WAY too low. There are a ton of people hired that are GED level education and it shows. The second, I don't really believe that you can actually have effective security and have a customer service oriented agency like the TSA tells us we are supposed to be. It causes too many loopholes and inconsistencies. The third they don't actually educate people enough on WHY these things are the way they are. I realize that people should be out there learning for themselves by it's also important to give people a justification as to why you're spending their tax money. The scanners for instance: The reason that we have body scanners at the airports is because there have been several attempts since 9/11 to blow up airplanes that did not use ANY metal. Richard Reed the shoe bomber used devices that were made entirely out of organics and paper. So we can't rely on just metal detectors anymore, we need an everything detector. The only alternative would be to strip search everyone at the airport which is entirely unreasonable for many reasons.

So in short, yes and no.

Thanks for answering!

No problem!

is discretionary racial profiling for additional screening a proscribed procedure written in the manual? if not is it an unwritten rule or do TSA agents feel obliged to do so? or do you believe it doesn't exist? (serious questions, not angry or criticizing)

I'm korean, and i fly regularly and have never been picked. i'm wonering if the recent NK issue is going to affect this.

*proofread

No. In fact, we are explicitly told that we should never racial profile because if we were to start and someone found out, then it would be a simple matter of getting someone who goes against the profile like was attempted with "Jihad Jane".

Are there agents who profile? Probably, but I don't believe I personally know any.

I flew to Israel last summer where the process is very different and arguably more effective than TSA screening. Do you think the US would ever consider doing that style of screening?

No. Not a chance. Look at the uproar the people have over what little security we have now. Could you imagine the out cry if we started having officers armed with MAC-10's and UZI's walking around the airport?

Also, Isreal's security is based on a pretty different expectation of threat.

It's two different kinds of security. Individual screenings is a personal inconvenience. An armed guard standing in a hallway is a shared experience. You see him and think, "He's not looking at me, so that's okay." But at a checkpoint you ask, "Why are you treating me like this? I'm not doing anything wrong!"

I think many people would welcome a more heavily armed presence in airports if it meant being able to keep their shoes on.

I'm going to have to respectfully disagree. The cultures and views on what's necessary for airport security between Israel and the US is so far apart they might as well be on different ends of the universe.

I truthfully believe that if we were to implant Israeli security at our airports, the outcry would be tremendous. I can see the headlines now, "Passenger or prisoner?" "TSA creates police state" "Everyone is a terrorist according to new TSA security."

I can't speak for Israeli security since I've never been there. It's more than just heavily armed guards, I guess? So you may be right that it would be more onerous than what we have now.

My point was only about heavily armed guards. And the different ways we perceive interactions with law enforcement. No one says mum about seeing a lot of police cars on the highways, until you're the one who gets stopped, and then it's a personal outrage.

Unrelated question that I haven't seen asked yet: How much education do you have and what jobs did you do before being hired here?

I have two bachelors degrees, two minors, and 4 certificates of study.

Currently, (including the TSA) I work as a grant manager, consultant, and firefighter/emt. I'm hoping my gf gets a job soon so I can quit one and focus on getting into the Coast Guard Reserves.

I'm an airline pilot. Have been for the past 9 years. Aside from the shoes and liquids exemption it almost feels as if you treat flight crews with "guilty" until I find nothing in their bags.

Also I carry an FAA pt121 ID with a SIDA badge, why can I use some employee likes and not others? SAN I was denied entry in the employee line and MCO is the worst

I honestly don't know how other airports run it but mine is very employee friendly. We do everything we can to make sure flight crew are treated well because they ha e already been vetted so the risk from them is low

What precautions would TSA take if people started hi-jacking airplanes with martial arts?

We'd put federal air marshals onto the plane to shoot them....or laugh as they get overwhelmed by 100's of pissed off passengers.

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Food that is not a liquid, paste, cream, gel over 3.4 oz is permitted through the airport.

What can I do to move through security as fast as possible?

Pay attention to the 12 different things telling you what to take out of your bag, if you have anything that is on the TSA.gov prohibited item list, leave it at home.

Recently the head of the TSA decided to allow small pocket knives on planes again. How does this change your job and what is your opinion of his decision.

Honestly, I am neither for nor against it. I believe this brings us closer to some international standards as to what is and isn't allowed and a small swiss army knife isn't going to take over a plane. The whole reason that the 9/11 hijackers were able to take the planes with box cutters was because the policy back then was to let them take the plane and then wait for hostage negotiations. These days, you're going to get the shit kicked out of you or shot before you can get very far. If you want to see some hysterics, you should ask the flight attendants union about it. They are not happy.

As far as changing my job, it just means that I don't have to take anymore swiss army knives and wine openers. However, for who knows how long I will be taking machetes, cutlery, hunting knives, etc because all the average person heard was "You can bring a knife blah blah blah airplane blah blah blah" so we should be seeing some big ones come through soon.

What do you think about being able to buy glass bottles inside the airport before you board the plane?

In what regards? Using it as a weapon? You're likely to get the shit kicked out of you before you can get very far.

I haven't flown since probably 2001 (pre 9/11 though). I also have a metal plate in my head. Long story short, I broke my maxilla and had bone sorta flap outwards so some of my teeth were also sticking pretty much straight outwards. Anyways, when I flew I kept setting off metal detectors in the airports. I actually had one of the security guys wand my head to verify that's what it was. lol How much of a hassle would this cause me? Would I need medical papers when I fly or am I good?

The new type of body scanners are implant friendly and do not alarm for metal implants.

Please please answer this. :) I'm going to Europe for the first time and I was wondering how tight airport security or customs are on luxury goods. I know customs might not be your department but reporting knock-off bags and excessive amount of luxury goods must come from security screening.

I have this LouisVuitton bag that was a gift. I think it's real, 95% sure because an aunt gave me it. However, I'm 19 and working a part-time job. Will I get hassled by customs because I don't fit the description of a luxury brand owner?

Also, What should you wear to minimize attention to yourself? When I travel, I tend to wear tight clothing because you can't hide anything in a pair of skinny jeans. I once wore loose cargos and got a patting at each terminal. ..

:) thanks

Cutsoms is a different agency from TSA. I don't know how they like to operate

What is the best thing that has happened to you in relation to being a TSA Agent?

I was able to move out of my parents house and start my own life.

It's also going to be easier to get future jobs, I don't have to worry about health care, and have preference access to federal employment.

How many people a day act like they are Jason Bourne going through your detections thinking they are slick and a spy/assassin ?

None. Most people are actually pretty oblivious to what's going on and just not paying attention.

Do TSA agent frisk and do they have a hard on while doing it?

Your grammar is bad and you should feel bad

If I show my military ID am I not looked at for screening as much?

You're looked at for screening just as much as the next person.

What's done with confiscated material? My moms bf works at a large international airport as well (flight crew) and he's convinced most is taken home and not disposed of properly. Is this true?

I truthfully don't know. Most things get thrown away but as far as items like knives go, I think it may get sent off to an auction. that is an opinion SOLELY based on the show luggage battles or whatever the fuck it was on Travel channel. A lot of things get thrown away.

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No, everyone has to go through that or get a pat down. Also, by and large, the x ray machines are being taken out and replaced with a body scanner that 1) uses radio waves instead of xray and 2) uses a bubble stick figure outline to display any alarm areas.

Thank goodness. I haven't had to deal with a body scanner yet, but as a bigger person, I've always been terrified of getting scanned.

One question, why switch to radio waves instead of xrays?

Because it will do the same job as the xrays with (supposedly) less radiation exposure and it will not generate an image of a human body to alleviate privacy concerns that people had.

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Air marshals have special entry because they are carrying a fire arm. They are background checked to pretty strict standards so they are able to be given the special entry. Can't really comment on how many come through.

As a professional pilot that doesn't fly airliners, what do I need to show you in order to bypass security?

Nothing, because you're not going to bypass security.

Is it true what I read about how the TSA is fed up with long hours and minimal pay for a job as important as yours is?

Probably yes. We get paid really low wages compared to what we're asked to do and put up with which leads to a lot of low morale and high turnover. If they would increase pay and hiring standards you'll likely see a more efficient and effective TSA.