Comments: 467 • Responses: 89  • Date: 

greyavenger50 karma

Who were the Biggest douchebags you have ever driven?

sfvalet159 karma

dwayne wade douchbag of the year

greyavenger25 karma

What action(s) did Dwayne Wade do take the crown of douchebag of the year?

sfvalet99 karma

guy is just a dick and talks down to everyone. undonis haslem was cool though and apologized for wades actions

faceplanted31 karma

Must be easy to talk down to people being Six and half foot.

sfvalet43 karma

im not much shorter them him or much smaller im 6'3 220 athletic build. its hard to talk down to me because im very large inrespect to most people. its the money and fame that gets to most of them

bujweiser18 karma

As a Marquette fan, this bums me out.

As an NBA superstar, I can see it.

sfvalet15 karma

others had good experiences with him it was multiple years ago after there first championship

killer-on-the-loose38 karma

who was the nicest celebrity that you worked for? not so much in the tips part but just their personality in general. i understand if you can't specify

sfvalet105 karma

Robert downy junior came in the the breakers when i worked there guy was a bad ass.

courtFTW21 karma

As someone who loves him, this makes me happy.

sfvalet48 karma

I had a full 30 min convo with him on a slow night at his golf course. One monday night I was alone and he just came out and was walking around and we shot the shit

Greenwaller43 karma

This man talked with Robert Downey Junior. The jealousy is strong.

sfvalet51 karma

He gave me a handshake and high five

sfvalet19 karma

He gave me a handshake and high five

sfvalet23 karma

their are a few others but i never knew they were celebrity's till after the fact sometime you just don't recognize them

TurboSS33 karma

Are you supposed to tip when you drop the car off, when you pick it up or both?

sfvalet39 karma

when you pick up but we will go out of the way for you if you tip both ways

Kilockel21 karma

How far "out of the way" can you really go?

All you're doing is parking and delivering a car, after all. Please note I'm not trying to demean your profession, but I don't understand what kind of special treatment you might be able to give.

sfvalet22 karma

At a hotel you are out of your element if u need a ride somewhere I am the one who does that I set up cabs. And also if u need anything legal or not I get that for u I am basically the concierge people ask me more questions than anyone

danc0nia17 karma

"Legal or not"? So you have suppliers for certain party favors in the area?

When I was in Vegas our "host" took care of that sort of stuff.

sfvalet23 karma

Yep if they need it I get it

burgerking47 karma

Do you get these party favors and deliver them to these people or do you recommend them to someone?

sfvalet16 karma

Drugs I handle and the girls they drop them off I tell them where to go

sfvalet15 karma

Too much risk involing the guest with them plus I charge a premium fee for the favors

Cymry_Cymraeg15 karma

Jesus Christ, is there anything you don't need to give a tip for in America?

sfvalet6 karma

Easy solution if u dont wans tip park yourself

CarWashRedhead28 karma

How nervous are you when driving a really high end car? Or has it worn off by now?

sfvalet55 karma

none i drive around 5 to 10 Bentley for my lunch rush a day its a normal thing. my first high end car was a Bentley continental gt i was shaking when i drove it the first time

karmapillar27 karma


sfvalet53 karma

Sent to mods 2 seconds ago I don't want my place of work on reddit

IwillMakeYouMad26 karma

Do you recommend your job for poor car enthusiast that most likely will never drive a koenigsegg ccx or saleen s7

sfvalet26 karma

yes thats how i got started but id depends on where you live i happen to live in one of the wealthiest cites in the us

IwillMakeYouMad19 karma

Damn... I live in one of the poorest.

Edit: Cameron Park, in Matamoros-Brownsville international metro Area.

sfvalet17 karma

where at and they must have at least one high end hotel

slipstream374 karma

Oh San Francisco?

courtFTW10 karma

I would guess Palm Beach, Florida.

sfvalet9 karma

You are absolutely right

iamaredditer26 karma

Ever ding or scratch a car?

sfvalet35 karma

many but no serious problems. Mostly we use acetone or paint thinner to remove any scratches we cause

BeenWildin15 karma

How would those remove scratches?

sfvalet27 karma

it works as a chemical buffer it removes the top layer of paint with the scratch

shelovesmenawt59 karma

-----"Mostly we use acetone or paint thinner to remove any scratches we cause"

"Basically we fuck up your paint job even more to cover up the shit we just shitted up"

sfvalet88 karma

yeah tricks of the trade

Warotia30 karma

At least he is honest about fucking you

sfvalet31 karma

i mean sometimes you have to do what you have to do. if you job is at risk and you can fix it you will because sometimes you have to look at not for yourself but your family.

silent_tone12 karma

I think OP is referring to other car's paint left on the car as a result of a scrape, not a gouge in the nice car's paint.

sfvalet15 karma

yeah that's mostly the damage we deal with

iamaredditer24 karma

What is the biggest tip you received?

sfvalet63 karma

I worked in hotels allot and those where the biggest tips for long term stay guests. biggest i got was from an Irish millionaire stayed with us for 1 year 1500 dollar tip on his way out.

nv734lsdkf18 karma


sfvalet75 karma

he tipped 5 each way every day for his car

Dick__B9 karma

Holy fuck, highest tip at my hotel (which is nice, every celebrity that comes to town stays) was 250.

sfvalet6 karma

Oh and celebrities are shitty tippers rich young guys who like to impress are big tippers

sfvalet5 karma

Just curious where do u work if u dont mind me asking or atleast where what city

bharatgulati19 karma

Did you ever take out a sports car on the road without the owner's permission?

sfvalet56 karma

No but i have picked people up from the airport in their own cars. i took an s65 Mercedes to about 135 on i95 one day after dropping off the owner at Miami international. yes i take some cars the long way to our parking lot

abitRandom18 karma


sfvalet34 karma

1 No we decide and money talks if you ask for the front i expect min 20$ 2 most are car owners there are few hired cars ever 3 big difference between young and old money. young money guys are awesome tip big and treat you nice. old money treat you like shit and tip 2 dollar on a Bentley 4 rich guys with high end car treat them well. the women do not. yes the men understand there cars and awesomeness thats why they bought them

iamaredditer16 karma

Nicest car you ever parked?

sfvalet50 karma

koenigsegg ccx or saleen s7

sfvalet13 karma

The best cars i ever driven where at the breakers in palm beach. especially during the Ferrari show.

ineedhandsanitizer6 karma

$20 to valet at the breakers. Is that normal at resorts that nice? In all seriousness, am I supposed to tip you on top of that?

sfvalet10 karma

yes you are unfortunately but if you spend 20$ in the hotel the valet is free. there we make 6$ an hour and work our asses off

petecannon13 karma


sfvalet14 karma

different companies have different policies. Most cover you themselves and you are at no fault if you fuck up. Some make you pay the deductible or part of it and some will cover a certain amount and you are liable for the rest

Magicofthemind13 karma

What is your personal driving record like? If you get a speeding ticket or DUI can you lose your job? Do people often get fired for that reason?

sfvalet14 karma

for a dui yes 100% i have never gotten a ticket or a recorded accident

Magicofthemind9 karma

Would you ever pay off a fender bender or a minor incident off the books?

sfvalet10 karma

in my personal life i have tried to do everything without police involvement because most valet jobs ask for your driving record and their insurance companies i believe get reported when your in an accident but i am not fully sure. i have been in an accident but i have never had any reported to the insurance companies

Magicofthemind4 karma

Makes sense, how bad was the accident?

sfvalet7 karma

5 mph fender bender i rolled into him on a hill. He got to close to the back of me and i drive a stick mustang my clutch was bad and i tapped him

really_bad_at_this12 karma

What was the strangest interaction you've had with a driver?

What was the largest tip you received (and from who, if we would know)?

Most unexpected big tipper?

If a person does not tip their valet, what are the ways that valets (not you, necessarily) use to 'get back' at them?

Strangest object you have noticed in a car that you (probably) weren't supposed to see?

Worst co-valet you have worked with (ethically or otherwise) and what did they do/what bad habits did they have?

sfvalet22 karma

strangest was being paid as an escort for a women when i got off work. biggest tip for a valet only was around 300 drunk ass guy just throwing money around

1500 at one time from a guest at the hotel when he left

i have seen sex toys, allot of guns and drugs

allot of valets steal tips because we pool so they take all the 20$ and 10$

feelsurreal10 karma

you need to extend of being paid as an escort... you CAN NOT just dangle that carrot.

sfvalet29 karma

hahah ok. in my 20s to early 30s when i was not married i guess i was an above average looking guy. women staying in the hotel who were lonely would ask me to take them around town and to dinner. These were mostly rich women in their 40s. and sometimes it would end up with me sometimes being payed for staying the night or i would do it for pure pleasure depending on the women.

feelsurreal14 karma

Im so glad that really happens...

sfvalet36 karma

it does believe it or not you have women alone traveling some are married and some are not after a few drinks guess who is open and available in a hotel and easily accessible . also i forgot to mention the valets are the best guys to become friends with. we can get you drugs, hookers and whatever you need trust me if you need something talk to the valets

blackion12 karma

Have you ever turned the radio all the way up so it blasts when the customer gets back in the car?

sfvalet64 karma

yes only for known non tipper usually i fuck with the seat position

FeatofClay11 karma

Have you ever gotten into a car whose controls were so unfamiliar/unintuitive that you just couldn't figure it out?

sfvalet21 karma

no because most car are strait forward. here are the few mst odd things in the high end car i noticed. Aston martin have the gear selectors on the dash such as drive park and reverse and the key is also hidden in the middle of the dash. Lamborghini reverse is on the left side of the dash away from everything its a small button with R took me forever to find that one. this gets most valets the new Ferrari have their parking brake under the dash and its a electronic parking brake so its a button and so many valets get confused by this and cant find it. also the usual is that all Bentley and roles royses keys are on the the left side of the steering wheel and not the right

FeatofClay15 karma

Interesting. May there be some day in the future when I can say "Oh, it's an Aston Martin, reverse is on the dash" and have friends and bystanders awed at my command of random information.

When I got my electric car it gave a valet pause, but it is anything but high-end.

sfvalet34 karma

actually random but i scared the shit out of myself in a Tesla model s i had no idea how fast they were and i floored it and almost wrecked it

Teanut4 karma

I had a similar problem in a Tesla Roadster once. Just backing out of the parking space scared the hell out of me.

sfvalet3 karma

they are flipping fast i had no idea the model s was so quick i was making a u turn in one from one parking lane to another and i gunned it at the thing just took off

sfvalet28 karma

if i had a penny for every person in a hybrid that asked me if i knew how their Prius worked i would be rich

HoneyBadger934 karma

Ever have a problem with the Lamborghinis being too wide to fit into a spot?

sfvalet10 karma

yes many times we try to keep them isolated in separate spots. the murcialargos are so freaking wide its scary to drive them. i used to work at a hotel with street parking out front and i had to parallel park phantoms and Lamborghini all the time.

nv734lsdkf9 karma


sfvalet16 karma

ur an awesome man 5 dollars is the best average tip

samdaly109 karma

Have you ever found anything particularly strange in a car you have driven? And did you say anything to the owners?

sfvalet12 karma

yes guns, drugs, sex toys. basically sum it up. we never say anything to the owners ever

martlet18 karma


sfvalet20 karma

yes i got fired from one job for a "joy ride" in a 360 spyder. and all the time i am running for phones, jackets and cigarettes. most tip though when u get them

Brake_L88 karma

How easy is it to make a living? Clearly, you've been doing something right, but what's a realistic income?

sfvalet16 karma

It matters where you work and the type of job. I currently make 15 an hour plus around 1000 a week in cash tips for a 40 hour week

sfvalet11 karma

realistic is around 6 an hour plus 300 to 400 in tips

iamaredditer7 karma

Any celebrities?

sfvalet7 karma


sfvalet23 karma

most are assholes

trme5 karma

Do the guests actually have to give you their cars? Or could they also park them themselves?

I'd never give my car to a stranger...

sfvalet17 karma

we have to park them are insurance does not allow anyone to go into our lot that is not covered if the do we could lose our insurance. the only instance we did not park a car is when its a Bugatti. i have driven only 1 previously and a guy came up with one and said here is 200$ and i get to park my own car and pick it up we said OK and cleared the whole front of the hotel for this guy to park his car

sfvalet1 karma

also if they stay at the hotel its valet only no other parking is even available. there is the street but its 1hr parking only and we are on the beach so it gets taken up all the time

iamaredditer4 karma

Ever find any pot in a car? Did you take it?

sfvalet7 karma

hahahahah yes sir let me call the police and report that stolen pot for you

sfvalet8 karma

we actually find allot of drugs and guns in cars believe it or not

courtFTW4 karma

What's the most ridiculous request you've ever had? And if you did not honor that request, what was the most ridiculous request hat you fulfilled?

sfvalet7 karma

Most ridiculous is getting someone a prositute or drugs. And yes I get them. Plus the pimps give me a 15% kickback

courtFTW2 karma

How did you find out how to get prostitutes & drugs? I mean, I'm guessing the first time you were asked you didn't have any contacts.

sfvalet2 karma

I was talking to a guy in a club around here who just happened to be a pimp. And drugs are easy

Desithrasher4 karma

A lot of media portrays the 1% of America as being pompous arrogant assholes who take everything for granted, how many of these stereotypes are actually true? And, what's the nicest tip you've ever gotten?

sfvalet15 karma

believe it or not the newly wealthy on the whole are awesome they tip good and are very nice people. the elderly are hateful mean people who believe everyone is under them.

Squeezer994 karma

How do you handle driving 6 speed manuals? Reverse is different in all of them. Such as 4th gen camaros it is past first. My S2000 you push the stick downward to the ground to bypass the lockout and then shift past 6th. In my Lexus IS250 you have to pull up on the ring below the shift knob and then go past 1st, etc. Do you ever sit there fumbling for a few minutes until you figure it out?

sfvalet5 karma

you get used to it all. it used to be all American 6 speeds reverse was by first and foreign was by 6th. but the new gen camero and corvette the reverse is by 6. almost all cars you either have to push down or pull up on the ring it becomes second nature in all cars after a while.

sfvalet17 karma

and i shit you not i drove a seven speed manual in a Porsche the other day it blew my mind

bobj333 karma

Why have a valet? I'm not trying to be mean but to me it seems like a job that doesn't need to exist like NJ/Oregon gas pumpers or the guy that hands out towels in a bathroom. When I stay in a hotel that requires a valet I do tip but that's more out of fear of you doing something bad to my car than tipping for a great meal etc.

sfvalet6 karma

I agree we are a luxury not a necessity

_ass_burgers_3 karma

You definitely work in Miami Beach. Good to know I may have been serviced by you once :S

sfvalet2 karma

I used to along time ago i work palm beach now more money less bulshit

Jah_roze3 karma


sfvalet2 karma

21 now because insurance

HoneyBadger933 karma

What kind of celebs do you run into the most? Athletes or actors? Also are any of them regulars at your place?

sfvalet12 karma

a few regulars jimmy buffet is an awesome guy he lives not far from where i work. a mixture of both really. Florida is a huge tax haven so allot of athletes and actors live here part time.

ScenesfromaCat2 karma

Alright, I gotta know. What does Jimmy drive? If it's not like a 1970s pickup truck or something, I'll be disappointed.

sfvalet4 karma

Its a chevy suburban

trip_this_way3 karma

Do you wear driving gloves all the time?

I feel like I would only be able to feel awesome wearing them is if I was driving a damn nice car.

What has been the best experience with a client? With a car? The worst?

sfvalet11 karma

best was when we where slow some guy staying in the hotel asked me to teach him to drive stick proficiently in his brand new m6 tipped 100 plus i got to drive the shit out of a m6. never wore driving gloves. the worst was when i got caught dumping the cluch down the street in a 360 spyder i guest the guy saw me do it and screamed at me and i got fired

AsksAboutMatrix2 karma

Can you effectively valet cars if we are living in the Matrix?

sfvalet2 karma

Yes I I believe I can

orenzai2 karma

Lucky to be you! I think it would be every boys dream to be able to drive so many types of cars in their lifetime and get paid for it!

OK my question is how do you park those cars without scratching them? I mean you have to park close to the other cars since its valet and they are all different in size. Do you have like a colleague to help you put when parking? Thanks for doing this AMA!

sfvalet8 karma

very expensive cars 100k plus go in a certain spot usually or up front sometimes you need help maneuvering a car when the lot is full and it gets tight i mean centimeters sometimes i feel like freaking Austin powers stuck in the lot and i have to call for help

ApolloAbove2 karma

As a family member of what is now considered the top 2% of America, and now being booted out of that "exclusive" club by taxes, have you ever guessed at the entry level money of this 1% is?

sfvalet5 karma

i consider myself in the top 50% at least i own my own home have a ton of money saved and i make around 80k a year combined with my wife its about 200k so i figure around 500k- 1mil combined a year is a good estimate for 1% of America.

thebreadgirl2 karma

Who's the craziest rich person you have ever had to deal with?

sfvalet15 karma

all of them are crazy

Ethanm13452 karma

What was the shittiest car you ever parked?

sfvalet8 karma

There are so many I have downright refused to get in a car because of sanitary reasons

me_asplode1 karma

How do you know who is a non-tipper? Are you talking about hotel guests who stay multiple nights?

sfvalet1 karma

That and regulars

SiirPatron1 karma

Have you driven the ferrari 430 scuderia? If so can you tell me how it rides and handles?

sfvalet2 karma

Yes multiple times I love the challenger version in six speed the best I hate the ferrari autos

sfvalet2 karma

The car is very tight overall much better than the 360 but not as good as the italia

v3xxeD1 karma

How does the rolls royce phantom coupe drive? Is it smooth, comfortable good for long drives?. And do you think it is worth the price? build quality.

sfvalet1 karma

The drop top coupe is one of my favorites. Get the wood trim on the convertible cover. I would wait for the raith though

sfvalet1 karma

Worth the price idk I think its around 350k. It is also underpowered compared to the Bentley gt continental coupe. Looks wise go rr better car is the Bentley though


Have you ever fucked up a car? If so what car and what did you do?

sfvalet1 karma

Never serious only scratches

Apocalypse_Gladiator1 karma

Have you driven an Audi R8 V10 Syder?

sfvalet6 karma

yeah of course multiple why

SmashThompson1 karma

Have you ever had a TVR show up and could not find the way to open to door or start it? Most confusing cars out there.

Also if you get in a car with 4,5,6 point seatbelt do you actually do them up fully and properly?

sfvalet1 karma

I have had a few tvrs one I remember was I think its called a cerba or something you have to give them gas to start them and all the ones were right hand drive. They are shity cars sound and drive horrible. No know problems with them there temperamental though

sfvalet1 karma

And seat belts never use them I jave seen a few Porsche with 5 point but never put them on

sfvalet1 karma

And seat belts never use them I jave seen a few Porsche with 5 point but never put them on