I am 25, Pakistan. I was dignosed having testicular and penile cancer caused by HPV infection last year. To cure the cancer, the doctor removed my penis, testes and scrotum in surgery.

Here is the proof http://i.imgur.com/TY7Fp.jpg (I don't know whether it is NSFW or not, as nothing NSFW can be seen)

Comments: 2405 • Responses: 24  • Date: 

Jonny6805 karma


karmarq841 karma

There is a new urethral opening made for urination. I have to sit or squat to pee after the surgery.

I do not have any sexual encounter or masturbation since the surgery and have not experienced any sexual stimulation.

Jonny6213 karma


karmarq360 karma

I had girlfriends in my university years (I had my university study in UK by scholarship) but after I returned to Pakistan after university I do not have any girlfriend.

Alabama_Man100 karma

I had girlfriends in my university years

Did you get the HPV from one of those girlfriends?

karmarq196 karma

Yes, I think so.

Big_Black_Wang412 karma

Very few men know this, but have you tried looking at prostate arousal? Men can have multiple orgasms with proper stimulation and is unrelated to ejaculation or the penis.

The downside is sticking things in your bum. You will need a toy, a vibrator for men.

karmarq607 karma

I have never thought about sticking a toy or something in my bum as that would make me feel even less a man.

DONG_MAGNUM309 karma

get a guy to help you out with that, it'll be super manly, way manlier than heterosexual sex

karmarq244 karma

Then it will be homosexual act.

DONG_MAGNUM630 karma

which by definition is far manlier than heterosexual sex

karmarq245 karma

I also never thought about being a homosexual man.

sambeano378 karma

How has your personality changed since the surgery? Your answers regarding the loss of your sexual organs are factual, and I'm interested to know how you feel/ behave now compared to before?

karmarq755 karma

I feel myself less of a man and feel inferior when dealing with others, especially before other men. I talk less with others. I become more passive and less eager to confront or debate with others. I do not aware but others told me that they note I am somewhat effeminated in my behaviours. I talk and behave in less self-confidence and my tone and manner is changing soft and gentle.

Ziggyz0m266 karma

You should as your doctor about testosterone therapy, if you are interested. Many older men and men with low testosterone use the therapy to keep a mature, manly appearance or to help build muscle. Many women who want to be men also use the therapy to develop deeper voices. I wish you strength in your life, many people will unfortunately be very judgmental of you.

karmarq397 karma

Testosterone therapy is too expensive for me.

[deleted]407 karma


Priapulid69 karma

Not to be "that guy" but be careful before you jump to the thought of starting a donation based on an AMA... not saying this guy isn't legit but there have been several cons and trolls on reddit.

karmarq9 karma

don't worry, I am not soliciting for donation and simply have no way and will not accept that.

bubbasteamboat238 karma

I cannot imagine having a sexual urge with no way to release it. All I can say is I hope you find peace with your altered body and find constructive ways to channel the torrent of emotions I'm sure you experience.

karmarq449 karma

The experience is really really annoying and upset. It just like you want to eat and there is some delicious food before you but you cannot take them.

IhaveSomeQuestions56139 karma


karmarq255 karma

1) May be trying to get one.

2) You mean the penis? I do not think it is possible to get a new one.

3) Psychologically I still have sexual urges but it is now impossible to deal with.

4) I do not have a girlfriend since then. I had girlfriends in my university years (I had my university study in UK by scholarship) but after I returned to Pakistan after university I do not have any girlfriend.

5) I do not have any short and long term goals now. I understand that now I am difficult to have a girl marry me and have my family and I do not have any planning for my future.

6) The surgery was done under general anesthesia and so strictly speaking it is not painful. In the first few days after the surgery the wound was painful but pain-killer was countinued given to cure the pain. After about a month the pain was already insignificant.

7) You mean sex? I did not had any last go before the surgery as the doctor told HPV is an infectio disease and will transfer through sex.

8) You mean Osama Bin Laden? I believe the US government would kill him no matter there was any counter-attack or not so believe or not the result was the same.

9) Yes, I have to pee sitting down now.

10) I think that I am no longer a complete man and I am sad about that.

Belsher108 karma

I remember seeing a story on tv about a guy who lost his penis in a motorcycle accident, and a few years later doctors re-created a penis out of parts of skin / tissue from his body and even re-attached some of the nerves.

He ended up with a semi functioning penis. Maybe you want to look into this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phalloplasty

Edit: I wonder if it is possible to get a penis transplant, like an organ transplant from a recently deceased person...

Edit2: Wow, according to wikipedia, it has been done before! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_transplantation

karmarq89 karma

However, that cannot recover the reproductive ability.

SaltyBabe66 karma

Your doctors didn't have you freeze your sperm for future use?

karmarq77 karma

No, they didn't do that and I neither had asked for that.

lurkingshadow121 karma

what positives have come out of this? (other then not dyeing of cancer!)

karmarq988 karma

I think less about girls and do not have to spend any money on girls.

p1x3lated97 karma

What has been the biggest adjustment for you that you didn't expect would be so challenging?

Also, how did you determine you needed to be screened for cancer at such a young age?

karmarq209 karma

The most annoying thing is many others are looking at me in strange and no longer see me as a full-man. My beard is lossing and my body-shape is changing and many others began to see me in strange.

I found there was a lump in my penis and some pain in my left testicle about a year and a half ago and so I went to the doctor for check. The doctor required me to be screened for cancer.

Anteaterdance63 karma

Don't they have you on hormone therapy? (I've heard you can have a lot of side effects when you don't have proper hormone therapy, a minor one is losing your beard, which is why I ask.)

Edit: I saw a later response. That sucks man.

karmarq137 karma

Hormone therapy is too expensive for me.

suparev71 karma

Brother, I feel so sorry for you. It's one thing to have to endure a procedure like that to save your life, but to not have the full support of your family and friends makes it that much more difficult.

You're not less of a man, you're MORE of a man.

Have you tried to see if there are any support groups for testicular cancer survivors in your area? It would do you a world of good to get together with other men who have had a similar experience.

karmarq80 karma

I do not think my family is not supporting me and I think what they are doing are only unintentionally.

Velyna47 karma

Where they able to save your sperm so you could plan a family? I know being in Canada that if you had to get something drastic like this done due to cancer they will offer you reconstruction or transplant if you choose to happen. Have you thought about getting that done? Are you taking hormones right now to keep your testosterone at normal levels? This is going to sound harsh and I don't want it to at all but do you feel like less of a man? I know that with women sometimes when we have to get a full mastectomy and hysterectomy we feel like less of a woman. I think the hysterectomy more so then the mastectomy makes us feel this way. Have you ever thought about trying to get a reconstruction surgery in a place with universal healthcare like Canada? I know that in certain cases people have been able to go to a country with said healthcare and get their surgery done and in your case I bet there are a lot of male doctors that would be happy to get you to their country or come to you and do it. I want to thank you for sharing this with us, I can't imagine what you're going through.

karmarq191 karma

I was so confused before the surgery and had not thought about saving sperm for future. When that come in mind, it was already after the surgery.

The doctors told me that in Pakistan they would not usually offer reconstruction and transplant of testicles or penis is still not medically possible. And also in my case as both the penis and the testes need to been removed the doctors said that it is not feasible to have any effective reconstruction.

I am not taking any hormones as the testosterone replacement therapy is too expensive for me.

I do feel like less of a man. Losing the penis and the ability to reproduce make me feel that I am no longer a man in completeness. I am losing my beard and that make me look strange. My body is also changing to a more feminine shape. I understand no girl will marry me and that make me feel sad especially when I am attending the wedding of others.

Further, many others around who know that I have the surgery also think that I am less of a man. Some even call me an enunch behind me and make joke on me and saying that now I can mix with the women. Even my family now unintentionally takes me not as a man. My mother and sisters do not have any embarrassment when dressing in just bra and underwear before me. My father no longer join me to Mosque on Friday.

waitingforzizou169 karma

Fuck that , bro. You're probably more of a man than 90% of the ones I know.

While my imagination can only touch on the loss you must feel, I can assure you that no one but an ignorant fuck not worth knowing, would consider you less of a man.

I wish I had some wisdom to impart, but all I can offer is encouragement. As someone in my late 30's I have gone through periods where the only pride I took in life was that I was still alive. Sometimes that's an accomplishment.

You have my sincerest and most heartfelt hopes that you can be happy.

karmarq137 karma

Yes, in any event I am still alive and that is already a very good thing. Thank you for your encouragement.

Velyna53 karma

I'm so sorry to hear that. I think that you should contact doctors all over the world, there are doctors that would do a surgery for free and even bring you to their country to do it. I think they have done penile transplants before it's just difficult to get a donor. There has to be doctors out there willing to spend the time to help you, I know if I was a doctor I would. I know in your culture that is going to be difficult since from what I understand male children are your legacy and they should be of your lineage but if you do happen to find a girl that will love you regardless then there are plenty of children out there that would love to have a family. I think that you should write in to newspapers and news programs and to the top surgeon's all over the world to see if they well help you, I bet that if they read your story there would be more then one doctor that would be willing to take a look into it and help you. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_transplantation It can be done it's just considered controversial. I hope that you do write in. I know that it will make you known to the world which is scary but for you to feel like yourself again I think that would be worth it. Also the medical field is constantly advancing so perhaps there are new things that can be done that we don't hear much about or just don't know much about.

karmarq50 karma

Thank you very much for your encouragement.

jessio14 karma

I have heard that when people are paralyzed and can't feel their genitals they have been able to reach orgasm through other means. Have you ever had an orgasm since the penectomy, or have come close? If not, do you still have a sex life somehow?

karmarq30 karma

I am generally asexual after the surgery. I do not have any sexual intercourse or masturbation after the surgery and do not experienced any orgasm since the surgery.

ApplesnPie12 karma

Do you still feel it like you would an amputated leg? As in, do you have a ghost dick?

karmarq8 karma

Yes, sometimes I feel that the amputated penis is still there and still feel the itchy or something like that. Doctor said that is normal.