I'm Diana Rowan, full-time musician, speaker, & writer. Extreme stage fright/performance anxiety stalled me for years until I uncovered the near-universal path to creative confidence & courage. I teach creatives from all walks of life how ...

How did you overcome the stage fright/performance anxiety issue? As a guitar player in a metal band my current method is... Pounding 4 beers before taking the stage. I assume you have more effective and less problematic methods!

Yes! Performance anxiety feels so awful, I totally understand. Check out what I mentioned to Tunalisous (I'll copy it below in this comment), and in addition, I'd recommend a few more things:

When you're practicing, address different ways of memorizing:

1. aural memory - be able to sing the entire song away from your instrument (hearing all parts in your head) - this gives you a strong thread to hold onto that pulls you through the song no matter what happens. Plus you can practice this pretty much anywhere!

2. analytical memory - bring all your theory knowledge to the song (key/chord progression/form, etc.) - knowing the architecture means you know the structure and can recover from anything that happens. It also helps you improv if necessary, something I love!

3. kinesthetic memory - practice your song air-guitar style (for real), slowing everything down so that you're deliberately knowing exactly where you're going next. Like learning choreography. This gives incredible confidence and taps into all your body wisdom.

How do these ideas sound to you?

Copied from another comment: [To help manage stage fright] the very first thing is to remember why you love singing in the first place. Really tap into that first love you had before you know what you know now, letting go of all the baggage we start carrying around as time goes on. Tap into those early memories of loving singing and reconnect to that energy and that pure inspiration you had. Use that as your inspiration going forward and stand up for that lovely person.

Secondly, do performance practice at home in front of a camera (phone is fine.) This replicates the performance energy we get in front of people amazingly well. This kind of "exposure therapy" starts to make performing normal, like it's just something you do. And you don't have to rewatch the video! The point of this exercise is to get used to having an "eye" on you. At first, it's nerve-wracking, and then it honestly starts to become an everyday thing.

Thirdly, remember that ultimately people want to feel, not to judge. People hunger to feel alive, to be moved. Most people are good. Most people are going through the same struggles as we are. By connecting to your listeners this way, the barrier between performer and audience lowers, and instead, you find yourself coming from a place of sharing and connection.

Let me know how these ideas resonate with you!

You almost lost me at "body energy" but using a camera to replicate the feeling of performing in front of a real audience is genius.

I don't perform music but I've done a few big presentations, and also recorded one quite successful YouTube video and you're definitely right that it gives a similar "argh people are judging me" sensation. Especially if you know you're going to put it on YouTube.

Love that you know this feeling! It's an amazing tool, creating a totally safe space to experiment in. We can practice performance just like we practice anything else. When you think about it, it's kind of wild that people go out on stage without having done this (or something similar in preparation) and expect to nail it on the first go. Certainly, it gives me the chills remembering how many times I put myself in that position - scary! But no more.

These suggestions are wonderful! Thank you!

I'm really happy to hear! Lmk how they work out for you :)

“The audience is on your side - they’re here to have a good time” is like a mantra for me. It not only cuts the anxiety, it’s inspiring.

Love this mantra :)

If it's really bad, I can also recommend asking your doctor about a prescription for a beta blocker like Propranalol. You'll still feel nervous, so you'll still need to put Diana's advice to good use, but it blocks the adrenaline reaction that leads to shaking hands and ragged breathing. This makes it easier to physically get through an event that triggers anxiety without experiencing nearly as much of the physical effects of having a panic attack while you're on stage. As a competitive quartet singer in a singing organization who is prone to stage fright, I find it extremely useful during convention quartet contests.

Beta-blockers were 100% part of my journey and I'm grateful to them for helping rewire my brain. They have to be by prescription because there are some interactions and restrictions around them medically, but for sure they were important allies to me.

If you try them, first do them outside of a performance. See how you react to them. I remember a friend taking beta-blockers before a big exam, whereupon she lost all motivation and just sat there happily. They can sometimes work too well, and take your edge off. Not for me though, because I had such intense anxiety, I had more than enough edge holy moly.

Did your friends pupils dilate and they started rubbing everything on their skin and twirling glow sticks?

If so…they may have gotten into the wrong pill stash :p

Kidding aside did you have any side effects from taking the beta blocker?

Personally, I had zero side effects from beta-blockers except if I drank alcohol (not recommended by the doc) it would hit a little harder.

Kidding aside did you have any side effects from taking the beta blocker?

My previous Dr had me on a beta blocker for a bit. I would basically, I don't know, "space out" occasionally. For instance, I remember one time I was actively talking to a coworker, then the next thing I know he's trying to get me to respond. Like, "wake up, dude!" In the end, that Dr was a doofus and I shouldn't have been on it.

Point is, be very careful with the stuff until you know how it's going to affect you. I can't imagine what might have happened I'd zoned out while driving or something.

Super important point. For sure if one is trying beta-blockers, audition them in a safe space first, or even a few times at first.

I discovered that stage fright eventually disappears when you're extremely well-rehearsed.

Being well-rehearsed is a big part of the picture, but other issues can still make people feel fearful. Such as fearing people unfairly judging them, or fearing being "too much" or fearing standing out from the crowd and being cut down (tall poppy syndrome.) For sure preparation is essential but there's more to the picture for many. Very cool that stage fright faded for you, though!

How do you balance the work of learning music and keeping creativity interwoven into that process? Sometimes it feels like the two should be separated, then combined? I often feel like I’m over-emoting into passage work or memorization drills. Do you have a strategy?

Love this! I feel you have a great approach with interpretation/expression woven in from the beginning since that affects how we're addressing the passage technically. If we learn "the notes" first and add expression later, it's like we have to relearn the piece to some degree, as we'll be adding new movements (or eliminating previous habits, which is tough.)

When I'm memorizing, I like to look at it through different lenses, such as the three types of memorization mentioned in Crushinator2's comment (I'll paste them here for easy reference). This keeps the creativity alive for me, as I'm combining new perspectives and ideas all the time. I see new things each time. So I am doing the heavy lifting of memorizing, but it's still feeling very creative and expressive.

How does this sound?

The 3 types of memorization

1. aural memory - be able to sing the entire song away from your instrument (hearing all parts in your head) - this gives you a strong thread to hold onto that pulls you through the song no matter what happens. Plus you can practice this pretty much anywhere!

2. analytical memory - bring all your theory knowledge to the song (key/chord progression/form, etc.) - knowing the architecture means you know the structure and can recover from anything that happens. It also helps you improv if necessary, something I love!

3. kinesthetic memory - practice your song air-guitar style (for real), slowing everything down so that you're deliberately knowing exactly where you're going next. Like learning choreography. This gives incredible confidence and taps into all your body wisdom.

Wow this excites me so much!

Glad to hear! Makes it so much more fun to have expression in the mix right away, right? And then the different types of memorization really freed me up and gave me confidence. It gave me loads of backups to rely on when something went wrong, and I didn't have to just trust muscle memory.

I have 'memory problems' - so I have a book of lyrics and chords I use anyone I play. But it's also true that getting on stage or having the spotlight on me risky makes me go blank 😬 and the book is a crutch (I will get really into the song then lose my place and mess up!)....but also I don't have it put a lot of time to practice bc I have a toddler. I've been doing a local (low stakes) open mic here and there the past year to break myself out of stage fright and force myself to practice more. Fortunately it's so low stakes I don't really care when I mess up, but I would like to get to a point where I can play 5 songs flawlessly. I know the crowd is enjoying themselves when I'm on point and disappointed when I lose it, and that is motivation!!

Well I just added a daily reminder on my calendar for 2pm to do my mobility stretches and practice guitar. I want to build the habit of practicing daily as a break from work (I work from home), and focus on memorizing one song at a time. I was never trained or took lessons so I don't have the music discipline I would like, this thread has inspired me to put the work in!

I love your having a daily reminder for yourself - it really plants a flag, saying your creativity matters. Kudos! It's the small daily actions we take that add up in the long run.

And the open mic sounds great, sounds like you're getting a lot out of it and growing from it. You're on your path!

Super helpful! Thank you!!

You're welcome, love that you bring emotion from Day 1, so key :)

None of your qualifications are in phycology, you have a performance degree and a music theory degree..so removed from what you are pedaling..

How are you remotely qualified to be doing what you are doing?

(Other than personal experience of anxiety?)

you have a performance degree and a music theory degree..so removed from what you are pedaling..

Pretty sure an accomplished pianist knows what they're pedaling

Lol! :)

Agreed. The books, the membership, the name "brightway system"...sounds like a cult. "Lived experience" has credibility but nothing here indicates this person is a mental healthcare provider, just a self-help babbler.

Cult is probably a stretch. But most self-help books are just someone's opinion, and you know what they say about opinions. This seems to be no exception.

To be fair she doesn't claim to be a mental healthcare provider, she has three jobs already 🤨

I understand you think these ideas are just my opinion, but from teaching real people, I can tell you my approach gets real results. So it goes beyond personal opinion and has factual evidence. But if all this doesn't appeal to you, by all means, you don't have to try any of these ideas.

"How are you remotely qualified to be doing what you are doing?" - I've helped many others get past performance anxiety and be the creative they want to be, so I'd say that's solid qualification.

Talk to me about the ‘staying inspired’ part of what you do! I have found since the pandemic, I’ve stopped all my creative outlets. I put my harp away, stopped creating fabric art, struggle to accomplish anything meaningful. I had assumed it was because when the pandemic hit, suddenly my house wasn’t empty during the day anymore - partner was sent to work from home, my kids did virtual learning, and there was just chaos all the time. I thought I would get back on track when things became ‘normal’ again, but that hasn’t happened. Kids went back to school, partner is still wfh, and I’m just as stuck trying to find my motivation as I was before. And ideas?

Yes! I'm hearing this a lot from people and you're not alone. We've gone through a massive cultural trauma, so there's some ptsd from that, so be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Being around people all the time can make us feel outside of ourselves (especially if you're an introvert), and that makes it harder to tap into your internal motivation. But it's still there, for sure! Making some time to just sit with yourself could go a long way to replenishing your inspiration and motivation wells.

On my site I have a free inspiration "mini-retreat" that's super short and effective, so I first recommend going there and signing up for that - it's on the front page, can't miss it. It's right up your alley, I feel, and goes into more depth than I can here.

Also, in order to feel motivated, we have to have our dopamine flowing. Certain surprising things tank our dopamine levels. One of them can be watching too many videos on YT, reading too many articles online, etc. They invoke "toxic mimicry," where we feel we're doing something and experiencing something. We feel strangely satisfied and have little urge to do anything further. But in reality, we haven't been following our own creative path, just someone else's. So I recommend a radical paring back of all online activities that aren't about you directly (what we're doing here is about you, so it's all good :) ) At first it may feel uncomfortable and difficult thoughts may arise - sit with them. These are the first signs that your fire is returning, your urge and will. These are what will dirve you forward again!

Lmk how this sounds to you!

Thank you so, so much, the mimicry part really resonates with me!

Right? I cut myself off from YT and reading online articles for around 40 days right now and can't believe how much more motivated I am. I'm doing my own things much more. Before, I would watch a gardening tutorial and say "that was great!" and sit there with a cup of coffee behind the computer for the rest of the afternon lol.

Thank you all for being with me today! I appreciate you all sharing so openly: know many people have been encouraged and inspired by you. I'll keep checking back on this thread and look forward to connecting with you! To your creative flow, Diana

I have been producing electronic music for most of my life. Started when i was 15. I never really wanted to become a professional artist and make a living from it or become famous etc. Well of course sometimes I fantasized about it but i mainly did it because it made me feel so good and was one of the best things that I had in my life. I could never imagine that this would change. In my mid 20s i started to invest less and less time, had long phases of inactivity and it become more of an on and off relationship. Now in my mid 30s I can barely motivate myself and find inspiration for it. I'm still trying hard but i often simply don't have the motivation/energy. I rather spend money on new gear etc than actually doing music. I miss it so much and i don't want to accept that it's 'not my thing' anymore. Is there anything I could try to ignite this flame inside me again? Should I set myself goals or try a different mindset?

"I miss it so much and i don't want to accept that it's 'not my thing' anymore" tells me all I need to know - you love this thing and it needs to come back into your life. Lean into this pain and let it drive you, let it be reframed as a desire, the fire inside you.

I don't know if you saw my response to OwnBrother2559 above - I'll copy it below here since I feel it's pertinent to your question, and add these thoughts:

1. Buying new gear can sometimes give us such a feeling of satisfaction that we don't feel the urge to do anything else. So I'd say a no-buy fast could be helpful!

2. Regarding mindset, see if there are any lingering limiting beliefs hanging around (such as only professional musicians deserve to dedicate time to making music.) These can have a major chilling effect on our creativity.

3. Creative community can be a massive motivator. Are there other electronic musicians around you could connect with? Having people who get what you're doing, who are there to cheer you on, give you feedback, even hold you accountable, are essential in my view :)

How do these ideas sound?

Copied from above: I'm hearing this a lot from people and you're not alone. We've gone through a massive cultural trauma, so there's some ptsd from that, so be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Being around people all the time can make us feel outside of ourselves (especially if you're an introvert), and that makes it harder to tap into your internal motivation. But it's still there, for sure! Making some time to just sit with yourself could go a long way to replenishing your inspiration and motivation wells.

On my site, I have a free inspiration "mini-retreat" that's super short and effective, so I first recommend going there and signing up for that - it's on the front page, can't miss it. It's right up your alley, I feel, and goes into more depth than I can here.

Also, in order to feel motivated, we have to have our dopamine flowing. Certain surprising things tank our dopamine levels. One of them can be watching too many videos on YT, reading too many articles online, etc. They invoke "toxic mimicry," where we feel we're doing something and experiencing something. We feel strangely satisfied and have little urge to do anything further. But in reality, we haven't been following our own creative path, just someone else's. So I recommend a radical paring back of all online activities that aren't about you directly (what we're doing here is about you, so it's all good :) ) At first it may feel uncomfortable and difficult thoughts may arise - sit with them. These are the first signs that your fire is returning, your urge and will. These are what will drive you forward again!

Lmk how this sounds to you!

Hello, thank you so much for taking the time to reply in such a thoughtful way. It means a lot. Many of the things that you said are inspirational and motivating and also really hit home. It's a new viewing angle and i will try to turn it into a new approach to get creative and not give up. I wish you all the best for your personal life and career !

I'm honored to hear this, and look forward to hearing your creations! I hear the voice inside you urging you forward. It's your time! Thank you for your kind words, they motivate and inspire me too.

What program do you use? I use FL studio.

I admire you - I'm still old-school and record in a studio. Push comes to shove I use Garageband, but am not that skilled at it. Time for me to uplevel my abilities in this area!

Jesus, are you me??

I pretty much hung it up too, and gave into "this just isn't for me anymore" thoughts. I kept a few things, but rarely have the drive to make music like I used to when I was a teen/early 20-something - when I was so much more inspired. I think part of it was that so much music is out there, and is far more accessible since I was younger, and the bedroom producer thing has exploded to such a degree that I found it seemed incredibly hard to be original. Or to feel like I could make something as good as all the artists I look up to that seem to be insanely talented. Of course, plenty of people are still completely original so that was likely all my head. It can be hard to find your sound, that thing that most professionals seem to have where you can recognize their songs even if they vary styles drastically. I can say at least that I've made some stuff that sounds like nothing else I've ever heard. Some are somewhat good and plenty are bad, lol, but at least those songs are mine and no one else's.

I think I personally got overwhelmed with it all and had always the idea that I had to "make it" all on my own, as I didn't really know anyone else into making music. That's a lot to take on. I learned later in life no one is self made really, there are always supporters and plenty of help along the way for people to get where they are. That pretty much goes for every profession/industry. Like OP says, it really is all about relationships, for good or for ill.

Also, I too fell deep into G.A.S. (Gear Acquisition Syndrome), and I found that before I had all that gear it was actually kind of nice having my palette be limited, vs. having that big dream studio. It was too many things to get into, instead of really mastering the few things I could choose from earlier on. Even having too many plugins and such can be overwhelming. Maybe culling the herd a bit to focus on your favorites is in order? Getting back to basics always seems to help. I'm sure you'll discover new things about those old friends (gear), or discover your own abilities a bit more, that will inspire you and make it fun again!

I love how you're supporting @seelachsfilet! Creative community is what it's all about. Your words "I learned later in life no one is self-made really, there are always supporters and plenty of help along the way for people to get where they are" - I WISH people knew and believed this earlier in life, for all the reasons you state.

As somebody that used to be extremely confident, in recent years I've found myself become so much less so - and much more nervous. What would you recommend for someone like me? Just working to re-learn that confidence? Or identify the source of the problem?

These past few years have shaken a lot of people, and there's a heightened sense of tension everywhere. So you're not alone!

I'd say you can take both approaches at once:

1. cultivate your confidence

2. look at why your confidence eroded

For cultivating your confidence, I like to go to the root of the word, which means "faith in oneself." Regaining your faith in yourself, I'd love you to sit down and recall wins and things you're proud of in your life. Write these down and feel them full-heartedly. You'll probably find that as you write, more things come up to be happy about. Looking at this bank of Fulfillments can be a fantastic first step to rebuilding your faith in yourself. You have achieved things before, and therefore you will again. And the things you mention don't have to be "complete" - for example, you might list the courage it took to write this post to me today :)

For looking at why your confidence eroded, I find this can be quite an emotional process, so having a supportive community is a great safeguard and accelerator. Do you feel you have a supportive community around to that you can talk about this with? Lmk!

Great advice. I'll definitely try the list, and as for the support, maybe not so much, and a good area to work on. Thanks so much!

Glad to hear, and I'm happy thinking about you making your list!

Is it worth to get your degree in music? Im studying at a conservatory in Helsinki and i have been here for almost 3 and 1/2 years. I have a lot of tasks remaining (none are musical things) and its stressing me out, i have less than 60 days to do the work of 1-2 years💀i just feel like quitting because the degree i will get (Musician) feels so unworth. Any thoughts on this?

I do think it's worth carrying on with your degree, and you're so close to completing it! Your degree gets your foot in the door with teaching positions especially. And if you want to be 100% independent, it's easier to start out with a degree since it gives you instant recognition. Plus, your degree will often be recognized in other countries and is a type of "passport."

I'd also recommend using these last 2 months to solidify the relationships you've formed at conservatory. These are your connections who can help you throughout your career (and you can help them!) I wish I had understood how important relationships are back when I was a student.

Sometimes when we're so close to reaching a goal, that's right when we feel maximum pressure. Kind of like in football - the closer they get to the goal, the more the other team resists ;) It's totally normal that you're feeling cold feet right now, but I say you've already done so much, you're almost there, push through to the end.

Because a music degree really does have value, along with all the relationships you've formed.

PS The Moomintroll series is my primary spiritual text ever since childhood and I'm drinking from a Moomintroll mug as we speak.

I've struggled with my voice, to the point where it's kind of atrophied; I find it very difficult to actually produce a note at all, and trying to sing along to music is often really awkward and embarrassing. I've actually got a good sense of pitch (and have been a decent singer); it seems to come from nerves and self-pressure, and I wonder if it's something you've come across, and have any advice for?

Certainly, nerves and worry physically constrict us and have a direct and dramatic effect on the voice. You can most certainly free yours again! A few thoughts:

1. what you're describing is exactly how The Alexander Technique came about. The founder was a professional actor who suddenly lost his voice. In learning to recover it, he discovered the bodywork that eventually became The Alexander Technique. I've studied this method and it's fantastic for just about every aspect of wanting to live a full life. Maybe you could find an Alexander Technique teacher near you?

2. The next thing that comes to mind is finding a voice coach who is compassionate. These days, teaching is much better than it used to be. It's more holistic and takes into account the whole person. I can recommend someone amazing, and of course, you can look around as well.

3. "warming up" your voice a little by humming and doing low-pressure activities can go a long way toward regaining your confidence. Perhaps even a chant practice? I've been doing Sanskrit chant since June and am really happy with how my voice is feeling more a part of me again.

Lmk what you think of these ideas!

Thanks so much for the reply. By incredible coincidence, I've just begun a new job where I share space with an Alexander Technique specialist, so I will see what he can do for me. I will definitely try to do warmup activities - Sanskrit chant sounds really cool. I have been recently been spending time with Hare Krishnas and really loving the energy of chanting.

Related, another question if I may: I'm assuming you've tried psychedelics on your journey? If so, what kind of success did you find with them?

I love when the Universe gives you an instant high-five! That's fantastic about having an Alexander specialist placed right in your path, and your visits with the Hare Krishnas. Super!

Yes, I've had very positive experiences with psychedelics and they've been sure allies on this journey. They help me reconnect to the big picture, the big energy we're all part of. They help me see fears in perspective, as misperceptions that can be worked with or bypassed entirely. They get me back in touch with my Purpose and to know that we all have a Purpose we're born with and never lose.

I have definitely been looking towards microdosing as a way to reconnect with aspects of myself. Thanks for your answers; I really appreciate your thoughts.

Thank you for sharing your experiences here! They open up options for everyone and help everyone.

I’m a psychologist and I have several celebrity patients in my city. I’d love to chat with you directly. Do you offer hourly consultation services?

I do! Please visit my website dianarowan.com and you'll find the Contact page here. Thank you!

Do you have any tips to getting over fear of singing/ or singing your songs to others?

Absolutely!

The very first thing is to remember why you love singing in the first place. Really tap into that first love you had before you know what you know now, letting go of all the baggage we start carrying around as time goes on. Tap into those early memories of loving singing and reconnect to that energy and that pure inspiration you had. Use that as your inspiration going forward and stand up for that lovely person.

Secondly, do performance practice at home in front of a camera (phone is fine.) This replicates the performance energy we get in front of people amazingly well. This kind of "exposure therapy" starts to make performing normal, like it's just something you do. And you don't have to rewatch the video! The point of this exercise is to get used to having an "eye" on you. At first, it's nerve-wracking, and then it honestly starts to become an everyday thing.

Thirdly, remember that ultimately people want to feel, not to judge. People hunger to feel alive, to be moved. Most people are good. Most people are going through the same struggles as we are. By connecting to your listeners this way, the barrier between performer and audience lowers, and instead, you find yourself coming from a place of sharing and connection.

Let me know how these ideas resonate with you!

Fabulous suggestions u/DianaRowan

Thank you! Feel free to jump in with any adds - I'm trying to keep to making 3 points per comment so that I don't overwhelm everyone :)

Thank you for this. I needed that last motivation.

I'm so happy to hear. I really thought performance anxiety would be with me forever and honestly, I love performing now. You can do this!

Hi Diana! I'm an aspiring musician with a degree in theory/composition. Since college, I've had to take a day job to keep up with bills and finances, and now that I'm more secure, I'm trying to make that career change into being a performing/recording musician. But I've found the resources for actually breaking into this industry to be pretty scattered, or simply unfeasible for someone on a budget. Do you have any advice?

Great question! One thing I wish I'd realized earlier is how important relationships are in the music industry. I was more "if I build it, they will come" - like if I practiced enough and wrote enough beautiful songs, people would just notice and everything would grow from there.

Now I know that it's relationships that drive careers forward. You've already done beautiful work with your degree, so I know you have the skills. I recommend getting to know musicians, presenters, podcasters, everyone associated with your genre. Go to shows, follow and comment on people you admire, form relationships that are a 2-way street. This is how opportunities come to you.

And I'm speaking with zero experience here, but the kids tell me TikTok is the place for growing your audience of fans. CDBaby just put out an excellent article on it. I'm finally going to take the plunge ;)

Thanks for the insight! Diving into the social media aspect has always been my Achilles heel, but it increasingly seems like that's the route to go

Fortunately those are super short videos ;)

Hi Diana, thanks for hosting this, and for helping me navigate this site!
As my day job is winding down and I will have more time, I’ve been thinking of doing some writing—a memoir with thoughts about ideas that interest or concern me. My main creative outlets have been music and biomedical research, so confronting a blank page is a new experience. I’ve tried the approach of just putting down random thoughts as an initiator, and it does work. Do you have any other suggestions, including motivating myself to tackle the challenging things first in the morning when I’m fresh instead of memorizing the NY Times?

Congrats on your writing! You’re off to a great start with “just putting down random thoughts as an initiator.”

Since you mention morning is when you’re fresh, setting out notepads/post-its at night so that they’re the first thing you see in the morning can help resist the call of the NY Times.

And this might seem radical, but since the news can be such a draw for all of us, would it be possible to disable your morning access to it? The news takes us away from our internal experience, so gets you out of the zone, besides also consuming your peak morning energy.

For your random notes, what about transcribing them onto post-it notes or similar and starting a “storyboard” on a whiteboard/corkboard? Then you can start to shape the narrative arc of your work. This can be super motivating and help you see the big picture (literally!) right away.

Just 3 thoughts to get you started, and thanks for this great question!

Do you have crossover tips for someone who would really like to dance (partner dance) but is too self-conscious/shy do dance in presence of others (not great for partner dances)?

Argentine tango! I do it myself. I prefer to dance with my eyes closed (I feel it more that way) and it feels like just me and my partner in the whole room. Give it a try!

Coming back to your comment, I realize perhaps you also mean how to gain confidence in partner dancing? I recommend taking classes, especially ones that lead into a social dance party. When you take class, everyone is learning together and there's a sense of kinship. Then, you have a ready-made group of people to dance with at the party! Creative community :)

Another idea is to try set dancing like Irish dancing. It has particular moves that go pretty fast and there's almost no time to be self-conscious, and the group energy is fun vs. judgy (generally.)

How do these ideas sound?

Any advice for sustaining motivation for a long-term project (1.5 years, 5+ years to complete)?

I get very excited (probably overexcited) when I finish a milestone and it works better than I could have hoped. But if I share the tiny victories with a select few friends or family, I mostly hear, "I don't understand the project," or, "this project is impossible/can't be done."

"Nobody cares until everybody cares," is a painful truth to live by. The lack of meaningful feedback makes me wonder if I will ever create something worthy of the time and attention it asks of the audience.

There's a phrase that hit me like a thunderbolt - "a prophet is never welcome in his own village."

Getting the kind of feedback we desire from friends and family is tricky business, and unfortunately pretty rare. I hate to say it, but it's true, I've seen it over and over again! I poured my heart and soul into writing my book for years and some of my closest people haven't read it. It's heartbreaking, and I understand what you're going through.

So what to do? I believe it's essential to find a creative community that does understand and appreciates what you're doing. Going it alone, especially over a period of years, isn't sustainable. Kudos to you for getting this far anyway, it shows me how motivated you are! Where can you find community in your creative field? Do you mind sharing what you do?

For sure this is a problem that has a solution.

Thanks for the response, unfortunately that does tend to be my experience. Can't change the world with something that has been done before, right?

So what to do? I believe it's essential to find a creative community that does understand and appreciates what you're doing.

In a way, I have increased the challenge level for myself. I'm a full-time software engineer and the project is an audiogame, specifically created with the Blind and Visually Impaired community in mind. Audiogames as a medium is already niche; I hope I can attract wider interest, but the format and concept rely heavily on accessibility as the highest priority design goal.

Where can you find community in your creative field?

So far, this is a particular challenge for me. I've slowly participated where possible in an online forum for audiogames, and while sometimes positive there is more often than not negative criticism and even toxic behavior. I am fully sighted so there is definitely an aspect of feeling like an outsider to that community. There are also not many games I can look at as an example, since many audiogames are created by independent BVI developers and limited by the accessibility of their tools.

I have had some limited success contacting independent audiogame developers and studios, mainly hoping for correspondence and discussion. I've had good discussions with a few individuals but nothing consistent.

An option I have would be to create a dev blog and post updates, but that requires an entire other workload that I haven't been able to engage with. Especially since it doesn't feel ready to be published to a wider audience, and translating the experience to video loses a lot of the tactile and spatial "sense" I'm trying to provide.

Edit: added some clarification because I tend to overthink everything I write

I feel for you, it sounds like there isn't much of a strong community you can tap into for audiogames for the Blind and Visually Impaired communities. This sometimes happens with very niche musical instruments or genres. Might it be possible to look beyond the immediate community to others that would ally with you and be excited about your project? Such as Blind and Visually Impaired communities directly?

That is 100% on my timeline and may end up being the most productive way to find "my people."

I still have more work to do, but I have some organizations in mind locally (job/home training programs for BVI or soon-to-be individuals) and beyond (library programs and orgs in my state). My self criticism is holding me back a bit until I have something more recognizable as a traditional "game."

Thanks again for the insight. If you want to take a listen/watch, I have a 5 minute video demonstrating how I use wind to provide the background scenery in the world. Sometimes I listen to it on repeat as a sort of guided meditation (headphones are best).

Just imagine the footsteps as a corgi running joyously through a forest, I have the steps set to a high rate so I can feel each surface transition immediately: Link to YouTube, includes chapter marks for skipping

This is great! I can definitely see this also being a meditation. I love your plan. As I mentioned, in the music world, for many musicians their biggest community supports are people who play different instruments and sometimes completely different genres. I wish collaboration were more common (I feel it's becoming so), but some people still maintain a territorial or competitive attitude. I'm looking forward to you finding your community!

Music is also a huge part of the game, since the genre is adventure/puzzle/soothecore and pitch happens to be a very convenient way to organize audio into solve-able parts! I'm a lifelong amateur musician, combining programming and music to create virtual instruments has at least been personally entertaining and satisfying.

Thanks for the encouragement and I hope so too!

I love how all your passions are coming together in this project. A very dear student of mine is living with diminishing sight, so I've been learning more about what this means for people. Your work is very important!

You have no idea how true that is! I can trace the lineage of this game back through childhood: at 12 I wanted a tape recorder for Christmas, at 9 I wanted a parabolic "spy dish" from a catalog.

I started designing it after I found very few good audiogames to play. It was almost disorienting when I realized how much of my personal history unknowingly led me to this.

YES!! This is why the first Step in my book is an exercise taking people back to their childhoods - they always discover they were in touch with their Purpose all along. I really love hearing your story. What a validating feeling it is to realize you've been on your path all along, right?

What was your phd thesis? How do you get funding to study music theory? And is there an upper limit to the research of music theory? As AI has already computed all the possible musical notes possible

My thesis is on world harp techniques and you can read it here https://www.dianarowan.com/world-harp-techniques.

I did my PhD in Bulgaria and am an EU citizen (Irish), so tuition was extremely low and I paid out of pocket.

Music theory sounds very mathematical but it goes beyond pitch alone; for example, exploring the different sounds generated by plucking a harp string in the middle versus closer to the soundboard - same pitch, different timbre. Check out my dissertation and you'll see the cool things people are doing!

Awesome! Thanks for answering! I did my phd in molecular biology, so I know nothing of your world! Thanks for learning me :)

Molecular biology - I admire you! Congrats on completing that, it must have been a ton of very cool work.

How do I find stuff that I like what I used to anymore? I have been burned out on a lot of things and such and don't know how to get them back. Plus I've been trying to rid myself of social media and television because of all the doom and gloom.

Unfortunately I live in a very small town and even my own family are very prejudiced, biased and do not want to listen to my side of anything. In fact, I am the only one different out of the family but always feel like the black sheep. I also don't believe in church since it only helps rich people and others.

Sorry for the word vomit but basically: how do I find passion for the stuff I lost or is it too far gone and how do I stop feeling so down on myself with everything going on?

It's a difficult time for sure right now, and all the harder when you don't feel community support. I feel for you! Reaching out to positive communities like this online is a brave and wise thing to do, so I'd keep doing that.

I'd also start cultivating a new set of friends, and this could be around a value you have, like volunteering for something you care about. Community is an essential element of life, and cultivating your community is a highly creative act - it's worth doing in and of itself. Are there any organizations/groups in your town that you relate to? If not (and that might be the case), is it possible to make period trips to a larger city to connect with people? I know that's a big effort, but as I said, true connection is key to keeping the fires burning.

Good on you for tapering the social media and television, that opens so much positive space and energy for you.

For the passions you had, could you share what they are? Oftentimes we can bring them back, although sometimes we grow in such a way that we want to do something else. Both options are fine! It's really all about tapping into that spirit inside you, that creative drive that we all have. You can do this! I have a free mini-course on my website on the front page which you can take a look at - it's exactly about regaining your inspiration and fire. You mentioned wanting to not feel so down on yourself - the Day 4 activity in particular will help with this. I recommended it to someone else here - this is a quick version so you can get started right away:

"For cultivating your confidence, I like to go to the root of the word, which means "faith in oneself." Regaining your faith in yourself, I'd love you to sit down and recall wins and things you're proud of in your life. Write these down and feel them full-heartedly. You'll probably find that as you write, more things come up to be happy about. Looking at this bank of Fulfillments can be a fantastic first step to rebuilding your faith in yourself. You have achieved things before, and therefore you will again. And the things you mention don't have to be "complete" - for example, you might list the courage it took to write this post to me today."

Lmk how it's going!

Tbh I'm confused on everything you're saying.

Sadly there are no communities or groups where I am since again, it is all biased and prejudiced towards people like me. Also I live in a state that is completely biased and prejudiced too and I have no one at all.

Also, I dont believe in faith or "faith in oneself" because I don't think there is such a thing at all. Maybe I'm just too far gone honestly

Hang in there, and keep talking to people who will listen. There are apps you can use where they have counselors who are compassionate and will listen. My #1 message is finding someone who will truly listen to you is key.

Sadly I tried app for counselors and they just make you pay all the time. Thats one of the reasons I don't talk to anyone. Thing is, I've always been the one who thought I can beat this on my own and I completely failed at that and everything else along the way

Sometimes when it feels like all avenues are closed, walking can help. Have you encountered Thich Nhat Hanh's walking meditation work? And his talks are marvelous. He's worth breaking any YouTube fast for. He's helped me a lot, with the simplest of methods.

How can I get over stage fright and sing karaoke at a bar? I've always had stage fright for as long as I can remember. From the first time I had to give a speech in grade school in front of a class. I can't sing. I have no performance skills that I can grab onto. I can think clearly, realize I have no reason to fear, but I cannot control my body, voice, or feelings. This also happened at a recent court date and I had the case in the bag but still could not settle down. I was the plaintiff and the defendant wasn't even there. I had all the necessary paperwork and everything I needed to say was written down and memorized. Still shook like a leaf and could not control my voice or heart rate.

You can get past this! I used to throw up before performances, I was so nervous. A few times I've literally run offstage. Now I love performing. So you can absolutely learn to manage this energy.

One of the most helpful things is not to fight this energy. Performance energy isn't bad - it's actually key to giving us energy and magnetism. But if we don't manage this energy, it's like a firehose blasting. Instead, you can learn to control this energy to your advantage. It was a relief to me to stop "fighting" with stage fright and instead focus on the positive work of managing my excessive energy.

The next thing is to start a centering practice, where you learn to center within yourself. This has massive benefits for everything in your life because when you're more present and calm, everything is clearer. There are many centering practices out there, and the key is to find one that you enjoy. Lmk if you need help finding one, and I can send you what I do. It's quick and honestly elevates everything in your life.

What I'd love to leave you with today is this: practice singing and speaking out loud at home. Get used to the feelings that you have while doing these. Keep doing them - you'll find they start to normalize and you don't feel so revved up. They just become something you do, part of life. Once you're comfortable with this, up the ante a little by singing and speaking in front of your phone camera. The camera acts as an "eye" on you, and you learn how to flow with that energy. And again it starts to feel normal to perform.

More to say, but start with this and lmk how they work for you!

Thanks so much for replying! It never occurred to me to not fight this energy! I will look into centering practices (open to suggestions), and check out your book. It sounds like it could be a real help. Thanks again!

You're so welcome! Yeah, I was getting super tense fighting the tense energy, it was such a vicious cycle. Thanks about my book - you'll definitely read a lot about all this there and it's full of exercises and practical things to help. I'm excited for you!

A question about harps- why isn't harp a more popular instrument to play? It sounds wonderful.

Everything @CupcakeMania says is true. My PhD is exactly about this - collecting harp techniques from around the world and throughout time that composers today need to know. You can read the whole thing here https://www.dianarowan.com/world-harp-techniques The harp has huge expressive capacity and for a while it was stuck in "pretty" mode. It's deifnitely changing! You can hear some of my harp music here, demonstrating a lot of the more powerful aspects of the harp https://www.dianarowan.com/music

One thing that can really help in getting your hands on a harp is renting first. There are a lot of harp socieities and individuals willing to rent out harps for reasonable prices. I recommend this as the first port of call so that you can try out different harps and see what you like. There are more varied kinds of harps than pianos/keyboards, for example, and the differences can be very dramatic. So finding your keeper harp is a fun journey in itself.

I have ideas for podcasts that i can't move forward. I have the stuff to record but no way to get background content like theme music, graphics and no idea how to submit them. I know they're be hits! Advice??

Congrats on your podcast ideas! That's the biggest part already taken care of.

I recommend joining one of the subreddits on podcasting, such as /r/podcasting. You'll get tons of support and resources around the practical matters you mention (music, graphics, how to submit.)

There are also books about podcasting for beginners that give you everything you need to know - a quick search wherever you buy/download books will bring a lot of results. Or you can borrow from your library if they have such titles.

Ideal is to do both - have a community helping you and books to refer to. Good luck!

I want to sing. Last sunday I tried to sing a birthday song that I made. Panick attack came on all that I had studied went to trash and was horrible. How to fight anxiety?

Copied from a similar question:

I know how that feels, it can be so baffling and painful to get hit with massive fear when you want to share your art. Rest assured this is 100% something you can remedy - I've done it and taught others to do the same, it's absolutely possible.

In a nutshell, there's one overarching principle and 3 pillars to managing performance energy

Overarching Principle: know your Purpose. What do you express with your music? What are you saying? What is your core message to yourself and others? Tapping into this heart of creativity means connecting to your deepest reasons for creating. When you know these, they're so compelling that it becomes and urge to share. You know why you're onstage and you literally want to share your message. More to say, but that's the absolute most important thing for managing performance energy.

3 Pillars to managing performance energy

Pillar 1: Learn to Center. As you center, you become present. You know how to stay in your body and not panic. You tap into your core strength and wisdom. There are many ways to center - pick one that works for you. I can send you some ideas if you get stuck.

Pillar 2: Preparation. Skill-build in a conscious way. I spoke in other comments about the 3 types of memorization and will copy them here. The 3 types of memorization:

a. aural memory - be able to sing the entire song away from your instrument (hearing all parts in your head) - this gives you a strong thread to hold onto that pulls you through the song no matter what happens. Plus you can practice this pretty much anywhere!

b. analytical memory - bring all your theory knowledge to the song (key/chord progression/form, etc.) - knowing the architecture means you know the structure and can recover from anything that happens. It also helps you improv if necessary, something I love!

c. kinesthetic memory - practice your song air-guitar style (for real), slowing everything down so that you're deliberately knowing exactly where you're going next. Like learning choreography. This gives incredible confidence and taps into all your body wisdom.

Pillar 3: Exposure. Practice performing away from the stage. Performance is a skill you build like any other skill. It's unfair to yourself to not practice performance and then go onstage and expect to get it 100% right on the first try. I'll copy some Exposure ideas mentioned before here as well: Do performance practice at home in front of a camera (phone is fine.) This replicates the performance energy we get in front of people amazingly well. This kind of "exposure therapy" starts to make performing normal, like it's just something you do. And you don't have to rewatch the video! The point of this exercise is to get used to having an "eye" on you. At first, it's nerve-wracking, and then it honestly starts to become an everyday thing.

Those are my recommendations in a nutshell: one overarching principle and 3 pillars to managing performance energy.

Lmk how these sound to you!

A bit late - just caught the new link… I’m particularly interested in ‘inspiration’ and agree that it can be willed - but I’d like to ask if you perceive a difference between ‘conscious’ inspiration and ‘unconscious’ inspiration? To put in context I’m a writer researcher looking at a spiritual practice as a facilitator or source of inspiration. And if you do receive inspiration from somewhere ‘other’ is it different in any way? Thank you - I do play the harp and was involved in some of your early spirals but writing is my main avenue of creativity just now. Lynn.

Great to see you here, Lynn, I remember you well and am so happy about your writing journey.

I agree with you that there are different types of inspiration - one that arises from inside (conscious) and one that we receive (unconscious.) There are probably other types too, we keep discovering new things!

Inspiration from the inside can be very consciously cultivated - a quick way to address this for me is by thinking about the 5 Essential Elements I use in my Bright Way System:

Fire = Inspiration (straight-up!)

Water - Artistry

Air = Learning

Earth = Technique/skill

Spirit = Community

...and deliberately checking into those regularly. ALL of these trigger inspiration. For example, by contemplating Water, right away we might start feeling many emotions and states, just as Water can take many forms.

The other type of inspiration (the more unconscious version), in my experience, can come from cultivating our intuition. Our intuition is that voice that seems to come from somewhere else. The more we listen to it, the clearer it becomes, and the more we download. Centering can be an amazing way to open your intuition. It's like when you're centered you become strong enough to receive these messages and ideas from beyond.

Much more to say, but this is a start! Love this question and I'm excited about your new direction.

Thank you Diana - I’m really excited by what you say and will revisit your book (which was partly responsible for how I’ve been able to cultivate this journey to a doctorate). I’m particularly struck by your use of the word ‘download’ as this is the word I have used to explain the difference for me between conscious and unconscious inspiration to my supervisor - the ‘other’ source for me arrives fully formed. Thanks again - you definitely are inspirational…

Likewise, Lynn, please keep in touch - you still pop into my mind every so often and I feel inspired by your vision and your path. And thank you for your words on my book, I'm humbled and happy!

What broke the mold? I mean, what made it possible for you to perform despite having anxiety? I’m fairly good with my instruments but have enormous stage fright

I know how that feels, it can be so baffling and painful to know your instrument and yet get hit with massive fear when you want to share your art. Rest assured this is 100% something you can remedy - I've done it and taught others to do the same, it's absolutely possible.

In a nutshell, there's one overarching principle and 3 pillars to managing performance energy

Overarching Principle: know your Purpose What do you express with your music? What are you saying? What is your core message to yourself and others? Tapping into this heart of creativity means connecting to your deepest reasons for creating. When you know these, they're so compelling that it becomes an urge to share. You know why you're onstage and you literally want to share your message. More to say, but that's the absolute most important thing for managing performance energy.

3 Pillars to managing performance energy

1. Learn to Center. As you center, you become present. You know how to stay in your body and not panic. You tap into your core strength and wisdom. There are many ways to center - pick one that works for you. I can send you some ideas if you get stuck.

2. Preparation. Skill-build in a conscious way. I spoke in other comments about the 3 types of memorization and will copy them here. The 3 types of memorization: a. aural memory - be able to sing the entire song away from your instrument (hearing all parts in your head) - this gives you a strong thread to hold onto that pulls you through the song no matter what happens. Plus you can practice this pretty much anywhere!

b. analytical memory - bring all your theory knowledge to the song (key/chord progression/form, etc.) - knowing the architecture means you know the structure and can recover from anything that happens. It also helps you improv if necessary, something I love!

c. kinesthetic memory - practice your song air-guitar style (for real), slowing everything down so that you're deliberately knowing exactly where you're going next. Like learning choreography. This gives incredible confidence and taps into all your body wisdom.

3. Exposure. Practice performing away from the stage. Performance is a skill you build like any other skill. It's unfair to yourself to not practice performance and then go onstage and expect to get it 100% right on the first try. I'll copy some Exposure ideas mentioned before here as well:

Do performance practice at home in front of a camera (phone is fine.) This replicates the performance energy we get in front of people amazingly well. This kind of "exposure therapy" starts to make performing normal, like it's just something you do. And you don't have to rewatch the video! The point of this exercise is to get used to having an "eye" on you. At first, it's nerve-wracking, and then it honestly starts to become an everyday thing.

Those are my recommendations in a nutshell: one overarching principle and 3 pillars to managing performance energy.

Lmk how these sound to you!

Wow, thank you for taking time to give such a meaningful advice! I’ve heard of being prepared but I love how you broke it down into something more tangible. I’ve never thought of preparing by running the music through my head, away from the instrument. Brilliant! I will try all of these as well as centering which I assume involves meditation and the practice of being present etc.

I'm excited you're going to try these memorization approaches - it's especially fun that they can all be done away from our instrument, which opens up a lot more practice opportunities. Stuck in line? Practical aural memory? Stuck in traffic? Kinesthetic memory!

Exactly with centering, it's about being totally present, and meditation is a great method. Here's a quick tutorial on Centering I made a few years ago https://youtu.be/s5dsPMJXAkE

Do you prefer sharp keys or flat keys?

No preference, I like them all :)

Hi Diana,

It’s Susan Regan. I have a question about harp pain on the outside of my left wrist. I’ve always had a problem off and on but now it is constant. Any ideas?
Thanks for any advice.

Hi Susan! :) Yes, double-check that you're following the 2nd principle in my FLOW Harp Technique: the back runs the show. See if your back is engaged while playing, especially by doing the shoulderblades in-and-down move. When your back (and core) are engaged like this, they form your stabilizers, taking on most of the weight of your arms. If your back isn't engaged, we usually start tensing up elsewhere (usually shoulders) and nerves start getting pinched, resulting in pain further down the line, like your wrist.

Also, since it's your left wrist, check that you're allowing a little bit of turn at the waist for any low reaches. Straining to reach low notes can sometimes cause pinching, so make ample space by turning from the waist and letting the arm grow longer that way.

Please give these a try and lmk how they work. I have a couple more ideas as well. Let's keep in touch on this important issue - physical pain is definitely something to address asap :)

Thanks Diana, I’ll implement your suggestions ASAP.
Keeping my fingers crossed. As you know playing my harp and creating music are all a important part of my life’s journey now, which I need to fulfill my purpose.

Most certainly, and I know you can move past this pain! Just one more thing: check if you're typing on your phone a lot - the thumb movements we make can cause problems. I'm trying to use voice dictation and voice memos as much as possible. Same with the computer!

Do you like fruit?

Watermelon & mango, please.

How do you maintain a love of art with the knowledge that it ultimately has to be gutted for the sake of capitalism and sales? That's where I'm at.

Got an MFA in creative writing and a BA in interactive storytelling. After graduating, I took a few gigs, but I couldn't ever shake how awful it felt to create stories for market. There's no creativity in painting by numbers.

I hear you. I feel every creative needs to have a sacred zone where you create 100% to your heart's content. Without any reference to it being sellable or popular. It fills us with meaning and motivation. It keeps us in touch with what art really is and therefore helps us "maintain a love of art." That fuels us forward and gives us some leeway in creating commercial art.

So I have a trio where we get together every Monday and record absolutely whatever we want to come up with. We pay zero heed to popular opinion or whether our material could be sellable. It really fuels us all (we're all professional musicians, and this feels like a rich luxury.)

When I have to do something not entirely aligned with my artistic vision (like playing a wedding song I don't particularly like), I see myself taking on a completely different role. At that moment, I'm there to create a meaningful atmosphere for the clients, and take on the role of ceremonial musician. It's not about my personal artistic vision anymore, it's about tapping into a more wide role. Because I draw a pretty strict line between my artistic self and roles like ceremonial musician, I don't feel my core artistic self is being compromised.

Would it be possible to keep your sacred space writing, where you 100% write what's authentic to you, and then make a strong divide when you're taking on the mantle of commercial storyteller? What about the ultimate aim of these commerical stories - is there anything you can get behind there? Using the wedding example again, I would feel how meaningful the songs were to the clients and get satisfaction from those (and never play them again until I had to ;) ) Lmk, your question is very important.

I see where you're coming from and I did try that. The problem arises in that doing creative work for money means you will have to compromise values to, well, eat and keep a roof. The other problem is the ultimate aim of commercial work is money. It's not about what can be created or the value that holds, or even the ultimate experience for the end user. It's all about money.

It feels like, to me, being a commercially successful writer often means you have to give up artistry. Especially in modern game design. Art and capitalism are at odds. So even if you have a space that's all yours, that's separate, there will forever be a gulf between what brings purpose and what sells.

I'm thinking about your comment a lot and will come back again tomorrow - a little fried at this point ;)

I'll say this one piece and perhaps regret it in the morning. In music, I personally (and this might ruffle some feathers) feel a big distinction between art and entertainment. Entertainment is more distraction-based, giving us a break from stuff, sometimes helping us relax and not think too much. It generally doesn't stand the test of time as art, and has a more ephemeral feeling. It's also what sells way more than "art music."

It feels like this has been the case for a long time. JS Bach was far less well-known than his sons became, the latter writing more popular-type music. Van Gogh sold maybe two paintings in his life, is it? Fine art often needs an audience already well-versed in the art form to appreciate it. And you know the state of arts education, which is only getting worse. So I guess I feel until arts become part of everyday education and life, this situation will continue. Not because people actively don't care about art, but because they aren't aware of or comfortable engaging with it.

When I lived in Bulgaria, I was impressed to see many parents taking their children to classical concerts. As soon as the child got restless, they whisked them away. This culture resulted in a wide range of ages at classical concerts. People were aware of concert culture, comfortable attending (unafraid of clapping in the wrong place, for example), and they really showed up in numbers. It started with parents teaching their kids that art matters. And we as artists need to communicate that value as well. We need to remind people what they feel when they engage with art, and how it brings them back to knowing themselves and what our crazy world is about.

I do have hope, and I also sympathize with a lot of what you're saying. More tomorrow about the money part when my brain cells have plumped up again ;)

I have a notion that "blank paper syndrome" that the writers here may have experienced (and who hasn't when hands touch the keys?) is akin to the performance anxiety you describe. It's not a performance, as one writes alone or collaborates with another writer, but not generally with an audience. However, if one writes professionally, it will have an audience and your readers are there somewhere in the shadows, waiting. What are your thoughts?

It's a great point you bring up, and I agree with you that performance anxiety translates across all creative disciplines. Stage fright is a very visible and extreme manifestation of it, but it's really all the same root problem.

Fundamentally, I feel we need to be in touch with what we're creating and what we're saying. We have to believe it and want to share it. There's a leap of faith in this, and that is, being willing to share regardless of judgment and concerns about our profession.

There will always be some people out there wanting to drag people down, but we can't be controlled by them. The strength of our belief in what we're sharing is what overrides their negative energy. And most people are good and want to grow, feel, and connect. I wish they were much louder than those other voices, though!

Another big thing is that professional creatives can sometimes wrap their identities up with their art form. In the case of a writer, for example, they may see themselves as A Writer, full stop. This is a dangerous position because if a piece of writing isn't well-received, they can end up feeling like a failure as a human being. So for pros, it's important to disassociate the exact art from your total identity and instead see your art as one way of many of expressing your total being.

Lmk what you think!

"professional creatives can sometimes wrap their identities up with their art form" Yes! So very true! And, we are encouraged to do that by an entire received mythos about what it mean to be a creative artist. (Some of that mythos is truly destructive and toxic.)

You're so right! There's so much mythology around The Artiste. But being creative is a totally natural and fundamental birthright of all humans. It isn't reserved for the few. And there are so many ways we can each choose to express our fundamental creative energy. Thanks for calling out some of that mythos, it is truly chilling for many and stops them dead on their creative paths. That Pixar movie Soul was actually about this! I was thrilled and amazed to see a mainstream movie tell this truth.

We are in complete agreement. Being a creative artist is a profession. We train for it and we work hard at our craft. It wasn't free, that training, either. We are good at it like a structural engineer is good at building bridges. I do love to write, but it isn't my identity. It's part of who I am. That balance is so important to keep in mind.

Love your words, I want to shout them from the rooftop! So liberating.

Quick question - what are these different options under your comments? Like "give award"?

We both studied creativity in our grad schools and work in creative professions. It's stuff I think all creatives should get during training. It would save us all a lot of grief from the get-go. The worst message- and, sadly, one that can be true all too often- is the "back-up skill" for a "real job" while things don't work out. A lot of us spend a lot of time spinning our wheels instead of working. Granted - in 2022 - most writers do have day jobs, even seemingly successful writers, but that day job really doesn't have to be a "back up in case things don't work out". One can make an honest living writing and editing, or something related, (even really commercial writing like copy) and still do the creative work, too. We are all multi-faceted people and we have lots of talents, so maybe that day job is structural engineer or math teacher or chef and not sell one's soul to live well. It's all about keeping that balance and not buying into the toxic mythos.

"One can make an honest living writing and editing, or something related, (even really commercial writing like copy) and still do the creative work, too." totally true! Chopin made most of his living teaching piano. And I think Charles Ives was an insurance guy? For some people, having a different job for earning a living takes the pressure off having to make popular art.

I'm new to this platform, so I don't know the ins-and-outs of the comment options either yet :)

Do you consider a hot dog a sandwich?

Yes.

How can I stay sustainably inspired and productive?

In a nutshell, look to Nature as the ultimate creativity template:

• work in cycles (like day and night), giving yourself enough downtime to replenish and avoid burnout. Be ok with productive cycles being followed by recuperation times.

• treat your life as an entire creativity ecosystem by feeding all your elements:

Earth (skill building)

Air (lifelong learning)

Fire (following your inspiration, prioritizing what moves you)

Water (respecting your different emotional and physical states and being present for them)

Spirit (cultivate connected community)

For more detail, check out the amazing community conversations right here!

Apologies if I’m too late, but I’m wondering if you have any advice for moving past frustration with the gap between where you want to be and where you are?

For me, I’m a graphic designer who wants to move into illustration. I’m feel competent at graphic design, but when I try to draw I’m just immediately frustrated that I can’t quite do what I want with it. I know I just need more practice, I won’t get better by not drawing. But I seem to get overly discouraged every time I finish something and it’s just not…good? Or at least not what I want to achieve.

Thank you!

Definitely, it can be especially frustrating when we already have high competency in one area - it can make us feel the gap more acutely. We can feel like we should be further along whereas actually, we're progressing nicely!

A couple of ideas here:

• more practice is good, but see if you can find a teacher/method that really gets to the heart of what you need to learn. We can inadvertently practice things that don't really need more help but overlook things that do need support. A skilled teacher can point out those gaps for you and send you on an exponentially more productive path.

One of the main things I find in my teaching is what people present with is often not the real struggle they're having (the issue of misattribution). Since they don't consciously know the real struggle, they can get super stuck. It's my job to discover with them the real issue, and from there it's quantum leaps of progress.

I've worked with mentors all my life and they've helped me so much. Maybe you could locate one (or more)? They say when the student is ready the teacher appears!

• sometimes - again especially when we have high competency in something else - we put our new activity in a box. We frame it in reference to the thing we already know. But what if you approached drawing with Beginner's Mind, letting go of what you already know and seeing drawing as if for the first time? I bet a lot of fascinating instincts are going to emerge and you could well be happily surprised by what shows up.

Beginner's Mind can also go a long way toward reducing frustration, where instead you feel curious and amused and even joyful at what emerges.

How do these ideas resonate with you?

Thank you so much for the response! All of it resonated with me. Especially not knowing where exactly I’m stuck. I can draw fairly well but I can’t…well there it is, I don’t know what I don’t know! A mentor makes sense. I am not totally sure where to start looking but that definitely sparks some ideas.

Beginners mindset would help, too. Especially when I’m up against “you can make anything happen in a computer so why not on paper or tablet!” I used to have a lot of fun drawing and want to get back there.

Thanks again, this whole thread has been excellent!

I'm so glad to hear! I was thinking about your story more and remembering my most striking mentor experience. When I found my ultimate piano teacher, Roy Bogas, I learned the technique I now use on piano (basically Russian School) and could play things that seriously I hadn't thought possible for me. It was 100% thanks to his mentorship that I was able to do this, and to this day I wouldn't have figured it out on my own (or have been able to teach my students it!) I'm excited for you!

I find learning new music incredibly daunting. I don't know how people fit all the notes in their brain. How do you recommend learning a new piece? Particularly if it is for a large ensemble like a choir or orchestra, and I'm not nearly a good enough pianist to play all the parts at once? It just seems overwhelming.

Great question! I started today at 9am PT, so am a little fried right now, but tomorrow I'll be back with some ideas for you!

I'm back! So generally pianists don't play all parts of an orchestral or choral piece at once. There are orchestral reductions that they play instead, which are much more manageable.

For learning a new piece most efficiently and enjoyably, it depends on what level you're at. Could you share where you are on your piano journey?

While I wait for your answer, I'll include an excerpt from my book about the 4 Learning Realities I find across all music learning, no matter what level (p.149-154)

Short & Sweet! Learning Reality One: Small Is Beautiful

I’ll start with the learning reality that meets with the most resistance, both from my students and myself. Incredibly, given the amount of information coming at us every day, research shows that we can hold only between five and nine pieces of information in our short-term memory. Short-term memory is where new ideas and information is first stored in our minds. And how long does short-term memory last? A mere fifteen to thirty seconds.

Are these figures different from what you might have guessed? They took me aback when I first heard them! There will always be folks who are able to retain either more or less information, but five to nine pieces of information lasting fifteen to thirty seconds is a reasonable place to start. Let’s use this information to our advantage.

Our learning aim is retention, the ability to recall information and act on it. This fosters mastery. Put another way, our learning goal is to transform short-term memory items into long-term memory access.

Our first order of business is to bite off a chunk of information small enough to chew on. This is what is meant by “work in small chunks,” which you’ve probably heard many times before. Trying to cram in more information than your five to nine pieces is exactly like trying to download more data when the hard drive is running out of space. The whole system freezes and might even crash.

Here’s where many people get stuck: How small are these chunks, exactly? To answer, think about what a piece of information is for you personally. This can be confusing, and no wonder: the definition of a “piece of information” is different for everyone! Luckily, there’s a quick way to determine what your personal piece is. It is whatever you can perceive in one go. Your piece is a pattern that you understand as one item. It might be tiny or huge, depending on your skill level. This pattern is something you can understand and recall immediately. Let’s now clarify what patterns actually are.

continued in next comment...

Perceive Patterns Learning Reality Two: Pattern Recognition Is the Foundation of Memory

As we gain mastery in a field, we perceive and can actively work with increasingly complex patterns. Think back to when you first started reading: it was all you could do to recognize the letter A. In fact, A itself had to be broken down into three lines: a tent with a bar crossing it (rather like our air symbol 🜁!). These days the pattern A is so ingrained in your long-term memory that you breezed right past the more than thirty As in this very paragraph! Not to mention that they were mostly lowercase, and you still recognized them.

In the same way, by repeating our little chunks we start to collate them into patterns. This happens in all arenas of creativity (and life). For example, in the beginning, musicians have to think hard about individual notes. We may take weeks learning ABCDEFG. They look like seven different items at first. Over time, though, we collate these individual notes into higher-level patterns such as chords. For example, C-E-G makes a C chord. That’s three items (C-E-G) now whittled down to one item (C chord). Later, we recognize chord combinations such as V-I (dominant-tonic is another way to name this pattern) as the triumphant ending of many songs. Eventually, we recognize entire forms such as the twelve-bar blues as one chunk.

Does this sound overwhelming? It is if you bite off too much at once. “Move from the known to the unknown, and make it known,” as we heard earlier. If you don’t group information into patterns, you’ll jump from the known to the unknown to the even greater unknown. Before you know it, you’ll be lost.

What may seem overwhelming to a beginner might look simple to a more advanced practitioner. This is not because the more experienced person is smarter or more talented (perish the word). It’s simply that they have more complex pattern recognition. They can bite off seemingly bigger chunks, and chew them. How? It might have looked like magic, but now you know the trick.

Imagine trying to memorize a page-long poem by reading it top to bottom over and over. Then picture learning it line by line, or in even smaller chunks. Which approach will help you master the entire poem more effectively? Without a doubt, when you memorize it in smaller chunks you will be more successful. If you take the more devil-may-care attitude, there’s a great chance you will never memorize the poem at all, no matter how many times you try. The problem? Simply that you chose too large a chunk.

I see creatives of all sorts being choked by biting off too much. I still do it myself sometimes. Many people doubt their intelligence and even their sanity when practice doesn’t bring progress. Yet of course they’re as clever and creative as ever! The problem is that they’ve overloaded their hard drive, as it were, or have their mouths so full they can’t chew.

Creativity involves engaging with material in such a way that you put your stamp on it. It’s not enough simply to mimic discrete patterns. To create something of meaning, you need to string patterns together so that they make sense as a whole. Your work gains integrity when you bring elements together in such a way that they shed new light on each other. Patterns are creativity’s foundation and worthy of diligent cultivation.

There are no shortcuts. Imagine having never integrated five letters from the alphabet. What would reading be like for you, no matter how basic the book? Instead, here you are flying through these sentences, barely noticing the complex activity you’ve mastered because you have repeated — practiced — it so much. If you have small, fundamental gaps in your skills, the results can be the same as our five- letters-short reader. A tiny blank in your knowledge — even something as tiny as not knowing A — can stall your creative process. Why? Because blanks break pattern formation. You can’t perceive patterns when there are missing pieces. This might sound alarming, but the fix is simple, as our four learning realities demonstrate.

How did you get started?

Started in music in particular, do you mean? Or the other creative things I do? I love origin stories too :)

Where did you get the idea for Mr. Bean?

Different Rowan.

Hi Diana, I am currently in my last year of my Doctorate degree in music performance (almost there!). While I have (for the most part) gotten over performance anxiety when performing on my instrument, I still experience it when public speaking. Even with a lot of preparation, writing out a script, etc., I panic anytime I talk in front of a crowd, using filler words (uh, um, like) and I feel like I have a difficult time putting my words in the right order if that makes sense. With my lecture recital coming up in a little over a month, I'm preparing my taking points, but I'm getting worried I'll fall into the same panic as I always do. Do you have any advice/tips on how to manage public speaking anxiety? Thanks!

Yes! Congrats on your Doctorate, and kudos to you for managing your performance energy beautifully on your instrument. How did you get past that performance anxiety? For sure whatever you did there pertains to public speaking as well, so take another look there.

For some additional ideas, I recommend literally practicing your lecture as you would your music. Stand up, wearing similar clothes to what you'll have on for the lecture, and deliver your lecture to your phone camera. I mentioned this above for Tunalisous, and it's amazing how well it works. Eventually, you start to realize you can't control the camera. And then it's a short hop to realizing we can't control our audience either. Instead, we can stay centered in ourselves, since that's something within our control. At first, it feels super awkward, but stick with it, I truly have seem amazing things happen from this kind of 'exposure therapy.'

As you deliver your lecture live, probably the weirdest thing about public speaking is how your mouth feels. I know this sounds bizarre, but have you experienced it where it feels like your lips are rubber and your tongue is huge? By delivering your lecture live, you start to feel normal again, and the feeling of your mouth moving isn't so strange. It's the unfamiliar aspect of public speaking that makes us hyperaware of our mouths (and breath), and they suddenly feel foreign. So try doing your lecture full voice and see what happens! Big tip: get comfortable with some pauses and silences. We love them in music, and they're great in live lectures too. They let people absorb what you're staying. When we're not comfortable with pauses, that's when the filler words come in. Enjoy the space between the words ;)

Finally, I recommend starting a centering practice today and doing it daily. This brings you back to yourself, and keeps you calm and therefore focused. I can send you a quick one if you like - there are many out there.

How did you overcome stage fright?

Copied from another similar question:

I know how that feels, it can be so baffling and painful to get hit with massive fear when you want to share your art. Rest assured this is 100% something you can remedy - I've done it and taught others to do the same, it's absolutely possible.

In a nutshell, there's one overarching principle and 3 pillars to managing performance energy:

Overarching Principle know your Purpose. What do you express with your music? What are you saying? What is your core message to yourself and others? Tapping into this heart of creativity means connecting to your deepest reasons for creating. When you know these, they're so compelling that it becomes and urge to share. You know why you're onstage and you literally want to share your message. More to say, but that's the absolute most important thing for managing performance energy.

3 Pillars

Learn to Center As you center, you become present. You know how to stay in your body and not panic. You tap into your core strength and wisdom. There are many ways to center - pick one that works for you. I can send you some ideas if you get stuck.

Preparation Skill-build in a conscious way. I spoke in other comments about the 3 types of memorization and will copy them here.

The 3 types of memorization: a. aural memory - be able to sing the entire song away from your instrument (hearing all parts in your head) - this gives you a strong thread to hold onto that pulls you through the song no matter what happens. Plus you can practice this pretty much anywhere!

b. analytical memory - bring all your theory knowledge to the song (key/chord progression/form, etc.) - knowing the architecture means you know the structure and can recover from anything that happens. It also helps you improv if necessary, something I love!

c. kinesthetic memory - practice your song air-guitar style (for real), slowing everything down so that you're deliberately knowing exactly where you're going next. Like learning choreography. This gives incredible confidence and taps into all your body wisdom.

Exposure Practice performing away from the stage. Performance is a skill you build like any other skill. It's unfair to yourself to not practice performance and then go onstage and expect to get it 100% right on the first try. I'll copy some Exposure ideas mentioned before here as well: Do performance practice at home in front of a camera (phone is fine.) This replicates the performance energy we get in front of people amazingly well. This kind of "exposure therapy" starts to make performing normal, like it's just something you do. And you don't have to rewatch the video! The point of this exercise is to get used to having an "eye" on you. At first, it's nerve-wracking, and then it honestly starts to become an everyday thing.

Those are my recommendations in a nutshell: one overarching principle and 3 pillars to managing performance energy.

Lmk how these sound to you!

are you aware you seem very pure and genuine? :)

Thank you! :)

I'm a professional creative and I have a young toddler. I often feel guilt on the days I work for choosing to be away from my son, and guilt for not doing all I can to progress my career on days I am a stay at home parent. Do you have any advice for finding balance with those feelings?

Yes! I don't have children myself (although I'm the eldest of 5 and taught 50 kids/week for years), so I interviewed creative mums for my book - their words of advice follow (p.134-136 in the book)

"Take a Stand for Your Imperfect Creative Self

Let’s meet some creatives with busy-yet-fulfilled lives, starting with mother and musician Monica Schley:

“With a baby, I always feel like there’s a ticking timer at nap time. I try to squeeze in moments to write or practice, but I never know how long it will be. I create lists of how to prioritize: #1 practice music for gig tonight; #2 transcribe a piece if I have time; #3 blast out my recording to one agency. If I can do that much, awesome! Sometimes only one thing gets accomplished, and if someone has a fever or a field trip, forget about it. I have to be real about the current daily situation of food, laundry, school lunch, diapers, etc.!

“When I had my first kiddo, I blended my writing and music together sort of by accident. Once I stopped gigging late-night shows, I began songwriting. The poetry morphed into lyrics instead. I had to become selective about what I said yes to. Would I take a club gig at 10 pm? No way, not unless it paid well (insert laugh). Eventually, people stopped asking me, but that’s okay. Because I changed.

“I won’t lie. Sometimes I find myself lamenting over the artists who have more freedom. It takes so much time to polish a craft, and I never feel like I have enough anymore. I don’t have a stuckness; I have a restriction. This is interesting, though, because motherhood is also the blessing that allowed me to open up into a new form! I started singing in public. I wrote enough songs to record an album. I formed a band (The Daphnes), and now I can be the leader and call the shots to what fits my lifestyle. I probably wouldn’t have been organized enough to do this without motherhood ‘restricting’ me, and half my songs are inspired in some way by the process of being mom. So it’s a two-sided coin. A yin-yang.

“Being a musician mama has made me just practice with a toddler in my lap and accept that I might be winging it at the gig a little more. It’s maddening! It’s terrifying! It’s exciting! It’s liberating!”

Mothers like Monica are at the vanguard of exposing the toxicity of our dis- connected world. Their stories reflect the bind creatives often feel suffocated by. Like many other people, mothers frequently juggle multiple jobs and roles that are undervalued. Why should they try to fit perfectly into an imperfect system? For that matter, why should any of us? Full-time pediatric intensive care nurse and mother of four (and beloved sister of your author!) Sophie Kelliher also re- jects conforming to the status quo:

“You have to create the time for yourself to be creative and not look at it as selfish. If some of the housework or gardening or making fancy dinners goes to the side, then that’s the way it is. No one will give you a medal for doing any of these things anyway, and you’ll suffer if you don’t make time for yourself.

“I’ve been spending time every day working out, and I just make it work. Kids are happy if you are happy. I just have to be a bit more organized. Online food shopping, and no excuses. “Make your hour a priority. It’s only an hour. For whatever it is you want to do, commit and find the discipline to tune out other thoughts or duties and create some self-love.

“You deserve the time to yourself. Mom guilt is real when you work full-time. But when it’s just an hour, and you’ll feel like yourself again and not just like the parent or the wife or whatever, it’s worth it. The oven won’t clean itself, but I don’t give a ****. You only have one life to live. Any restrictions are usually self-inflicted. Break the wheel.”

We can learn a lot from these two mothers and their ability to practice the keen discernment of alchemical separation to such a degree. For skill, they employ tactical measures such as scheduling, streamlining chores, and being realistic about how pristine their houses need to be. They also honor their magic by taking a firm stand for what they enjoy doing. They recognize their heart’s desire and value their creativity as things of inherent worth. Their bright, aligned energy radiates out, inspiring us all — do you feel it? They show us that whatever your circumstances, you can live an engaged and creative life. Starting now.

Thank you so much for responding! I'm so glad you cover this topic in your book.

The parts about taking benefits from the restriction (I certainly understand that nap-time timer!) and opening into a new form really spoke to me.

It's made me take stock of the fact I'm actually so much more productive in the snippets of time that I do have than I was before I had a baby. I often forget that and feel like I could be doing more, without considering that it's actually more focused and quality creative time due to the restriction. I think I really needed that shift in perspective this week - so thank you so much for that!

I really appreciate your response. Will try for the hour a day to do things I want to do!

This is wonderful to hear! I'm a big believer in direct experience, so I knew it was key to have real creative mums talking about their real-life experiences. It's a joy to hear how their words heartened you and made you realize how productive you really are. And here's to that hour for you!

Hi Diana! I am a little sleepy this morning, was checking in on the City Council until late. (aarrgghhhh) Any advice on "blank paper syndrome?

Yes! A few ideas:

Try what Full-Acanthisitta527 mentions and jot down ideas as they come to you randomly during the day. These can even be voice memos. Capture those little moments of intuition speaking to you - the more you listen, the more you'll hear that voice, and the less blankness you'll feel.

Secondly, check your creative juice (especially your peak creative energy times, whatever those are for you) isn't being sapped by outside sources like news, email, and social media. Again you'll start to hear your creative voice speaking loud and clear and the "blank canvas" could well become totally full! A great way to augment this is to do a quick centering practice so that you're fully present. You'll find so many ideas bubbling up inside!

Thirdly, reframe the canvas. Sometimes we might get overwhelmed by picturing an entire novel or painting or song, but all of these are created bit by bit. You don't have to see the whole canvas right away. Bite off a small chunk by listening to that voice inside, and carry on your beautiful path! Trust it.