I just recently got my degree in Criminology and I have been doing this since I was a Sophomore in college. About 4 years now. I have seen it all.

Proof has been sent to the Mods! AMA

EDIT: Questions are coming in very fast! Don't worry I will reply to them all as quick as I can :)

Let me clarify a few things because some people think this is more of a "man trapping" thing.. The firms that I work for are hired to go after MEN and WOMEN both! I'm just hired to engage with men because I am a women obviously. Just as many women cheat as do men.

We only report back negatively IF the spouse if agreeing to meet for a date, giving out phone numbers, and being sexual in nature towards our meeting.

EDIT #2: For all you guys who are being hateful and saying that I am a bitch who destroys marriages. I just want to show you the type of conversation I have with 80% of these husbands. CONVO HERE.. That is how these assholes talk about their wives most of the time :(

I got my coworker to do an AMA :) it's going on right now! http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/vovs6/as_requested_iama_male_pi_whos_job_is_to_catch/

Comments: 2902 • Responses: 31  • Date: 

venividivixi1401 karma

Could I hire you to flirt with me?

ThrowawayFlirt1816 karma

I'll do it for free big boy ;) xoxo

radicalheadphone122 karma

How subtle do you have to go? How do you read how far it takes to convince a guy without being obvious?

Toribor463 karma

I picture her walking up to a middle aged businessman while dressed as a catholic school girl furiously fellating an ice pop.

ThrowawayFlirt1067 karma

where is Shitty_Watercolour when we REALLY need him?!?!

Toribor1224 karma

This would never work on me. If an attractive woman was hitting on me I'd know it was some sort of trap.

ThrowawayFlirt298 karma


barbsteele1011 karma

There are obviously people here down voting the heck out of you because they see YOU as the reason a break up may happen. It has nothing to do with her at ALL people. The wives who hire her are the ones with suspicions. Yes, they should be communicating with their husbands but there are likely hundreds of husbands who LIE. Perhaps the wife is almost certain that she is being cheated on but has no proof. She thinks she is being lied to but does not want to separate based on that alone. Hiring this lady should be a last resort (though I'm sure there are plenty that go crazy and hire her without just cause). It cannot be easy coming to this decision, it would be heart breaking. Should the wife just stay unhappy and suspicious, and possibly waste the rest of her life in this state? Also, I'm sure OP does not hound these men-she said that when turned down, she is happy inside and leaves it be. She does not force them to cheat, thats impossible. She simply flirts and sees if the man would be willing to engage with her sexually-if he agrees, he is obviously not devoted to his wife only and this LIKELY is not the first time he has acted this way. If a man will not cheat on his wife, HE WON'T; OP is not a brain washing harpy, devoted on ending marriages! If you say, "how do you sleep at night, knowing you may be ending a marriage" you are looking at this all wrong, especially knowing she is just flirting. What about prostitutes whose cliente may be mainly married men? Many could not care less. I have read many sex worker IAMA's and those women do not get downvoted to oblivion...

ThrowawayFlirt378 karma

Couldn't have said it better myself ;) Thanks!

KennyLog-in987 karma

This user has verified the information with the mods.

ThrowawayFlirt220 karma


Bumblebree584 karma


ThrowawayFlirt1205 karma

1) yes! many times.. I have restraining orders against quite a few men. it can be scary, but I work around and with police, lawyers, etc quite a bit and they personally respond to any threat and then I never hear from the man again.

2) one woman hired me on the side (highest paying job ever) to actually go into a bar and physically flirt with her fiancee and offer him a blowjob.. she waited outside for me to text her how he responded.. he flat out told me "sorry but I have a wife" and then kindly asked me to go sit somewhere else.. the fiancee ran in the bar and jumped in his lap and they started kissing and she was crying saying how much she loved him :) it was so sweet

3) long story short... wife found out the husband sent me photos of his dick and of him fucking other women, etc.. telling me how bad he wanted to fuck me and that his wife doesn't turn him on anymore.. she killed herself 3 weeks later

nightowl878409 karma

Well, as a married man, I can say that if you are giving phone numbers or making exchanges with another woman, your marriage is doomed anyway and you might as well get on with ending it. Oh, and my question to you is, have you ever hooked up with any of these men after it's all over?

ThrowawayFlirt602 karma

Never. Never EVER. I've been with my boyfriend since high school and proud to say I have never cheated! going on almost 7 years now :)

imamandalyn105 karma

How does your boyfriend feel about you actively flirting with other men? I mean obviously its for your job, but does it ever bother him or worry him?

ThrowawayFlirt256 karma

No he doesn't care.. I am really open about it all. Sometimes I'll let him help me like "what should I say to this guy babe?" haha

omegachild85 karma

good job! Has doing this job ever changed your views on cheating at all?

ThrowawayFlirt266 karma

it's made me realize that SO many people cheat.. Men and Women alike from all walks of life. They fucking cheat all the time. it's sad :(

shawnzie259 karma

Considering your job is to only look at all of the couples that suspect their partner of cheating, don't you think you have a bit of a skewed perspective? You saying that SO many people cheat is like a proctologist urologist saying that SO many people have prostate cancer.

ThrowawayFlirt130 karma

true.. makes me feel a little better i guess

therosseverett358 karma

Would you consider yourself a master baiter?

ThrowawayFlirt331 karma

haha! yes actually we call ourselves this exact term internally ;)

LindLTailor334 karma

LOL if my wife hired you to seduce me and I said anything other than OK she would divorce me on the grounds that I was not normal.

ThrowawayFlirt452 karma

well then... how about you send me some pics of that big cock ;) I promise I won't show anyone...

green_and_yellow138 karma

This should be obvious to the men you're flirting with that it's all a hoax. No woman ever requests dick pics.

ThrowawayFlirt266 karma

it was a joke.. I don't really talk like that.. plus guys send em anyway, you dont have to ask! haha

Tokugawa273 karma

How many men "pass the test" and don't try to cheat?

I'm guessing it's low. Not because men are dogs, but because the kind of woman who has money to throw at a PI for a suspected cheater typically only dates other guys with money. And a guy with money/power who is suspected of cheating is probably more likely to cheat than your average joe.

ThrowawayFlirt399 karma

it's about 80/20.. 20% of the men will usually flat out say something along the lines of "sorry but I have a wife/gf" it makes me happy :)

banana_buddy243 karma

  1. Have you ever slept with one of the men you were investigating cause he was too enticing?
  2. Have you ever had a man figure out what was going on during the middle of your trapping ritual? If so how'd you both respond.
  3. What was your funniest on the job moment?

ThrowawayFlirt706 karma

1) No. I answered this somewhere else also. Very few of these men are "enticing" at all. The ones who are decently attractive are usually total sleezeballs. Plus I am happy with my BF.

2) Yes sometimes they know, but it's rare. Every once in awhile if the man has very low self esteem and/or is really unattractive, he will be suspicious as to why a young, hot girl is talking to him. But 9/10 no matter what they guy looks like, he will talk and flirt and want to "hang out" and not think anything of it. These types of guys just cling to the 1% chance that I'll drive over and fuck them.

3) Funniest stories are actually related to your first question.. When guys seem to know better.. One time I sent this guy a facebook message and all I said was "did you go to X high school?" to see if he would reply and then start to convo from there.. his only answer was "nice try Kerri. I'll be home by 6pm. make dinner." haha! Kerri was his wifes name!! smart guy ;)

genderOutlaw210 karma

What would a normal day at work be like for you?

ThrowawayFlirt494 karma

a LOT of facebook messaging.. texting.. emailing... So I guess pretty much like an other office job! haha

FletcherPratt194 karma

Do you have different personas on facebook?

ThrowawayFlirt321 karma

Yes I do.. Many different cell phones also

Bellerophoon210 karma

So is the stereotype true? Are we [men] that easy to manipulate when sex is on the line?

EDIT: Grammar

ThrowawayFlirt317 karma

Yes. but it's not even manipulation. if a hot girl starts saying dirty stuff to a man, he usually goes with it. (at least the type of men we get hired to catch)

EctoCoolertini236 karma

But think about it, would it be any different if my girlfriend was to be approached by another man in a public place and listen to him call her beautiful/hit on her etc.? Even if she doesn't ACT on the situation, sometimes people just like knowing that they are still attractive to the field despite being tied down in relationships. What do you think?

ThrowawayFlirt307 karma

great question.. keep in mind that I work with men because I am a woman. my employers do this exact same thing to women. they cheat also!

we only report negatively back to the wife IF the husband give his phone number, agrees to meet for a date, and we have messages in writing where he says things about wanting to be sexual with me.

yumenohikari205 karma

Are you ever summoned to testify in court (divorce proceedings, etc.)? If so, how do civil courts view your work?

ThrowawayFlirt278 karma

Yes, this happens often when the PI firms' work get pulled into a divorce or child custody hearing.. I am viewed as a professional investigator and well liked by most I would say.

Patchface_TA193 karma

How many dick pics have you received in response to this thread? Be honest.

ThrowawayFlirt437 karma

Actually.. I forgot all about PM's until just now! haha.. I'll go read some now and report back.....

EDIT: None :(

[deleted]189 karma

Have you ever had a non-SO hire you (family member of one of the parties?)

ThrowawayFlirt483 karma

We have had the FATHER of a bride-to-be hire us to find out if the man she was about to marry was a good guy.. and he actually turned out to be a great man! happy ending :)

bu77munch166 karma

Do you have a boyfriend?/How does he feel about your job?Have you ever seduced somebody who you thought was an honestly good guy, who may have been vulnerable or in a shit situation?

ThrowawayFlirt372 karma

Yes, I have been with the same guy since high school. He is fine with my career. Sometimes he even helps me! haha

Yes, sometimes I can just tell that a poor guy has been beaten down by a shitty overbearing wife for years and it makes me feel bad. I never try to "trick" a good man into saying something that will be used against him. I use my moral discretion the best I can for the type of job I have to do.

OpenShut147 karma

How do you get convince someone to talk to you intially? On FB you often get fake bots with pictures of beautiful girls trying to add. I'd have assumed most people would ignore you if they did not know you all ready.

Basically what is your process?

ThrowawayFlirt133 karma

usually the wife will say that he's on twitter alot, or FB or sometimes the woman even finds a Craigslist email or dating site subscription. We have used dating sites and social media quite a bit to make initial contact

smbtuckma131 karma

I wouldn't do this to my boyfriend, but the thought occurred to me. Have you ever had a client who wasn't trying to prove infidelity, but wanted you to flirt with their SO to boost their confidence?

ThrowawayFlirt204 karma

No that has never happened. Hiring a PI firm to do that would be pretty pricey! better off just finding a random girl to do it for $20 ;)

thewaybaseballgo127 karma

What's the pay like?

ThrowawayFlirt169 karma

it's about average for the type of degree I have.. no complaints

riders994121 karma

Have you ever been hired to seduce a man who turned out to be gay?

ThrowawayFlirt117 karma

Nope.. at least he didn't admit it to me or anything

steepo27118 karma

how can I get better at flirting? It starts off fine, but then I get all freaked out as if I don't know what to do.

ThrowawayFlirt242 karma

good flirting is just talking.. having an interesting conversation and using body language and the occasional flirtatious remark to spark interest. subtle.. not using "lines" and being a douche

Tokugawa112 karma

What's the profile of your average client?

ThrowawayFlirt211 karma

upset women.. mostly who have a man who has cheated before and she just doesn't have the proof. it's pretty sad sometimes

Tokugawa131 karma

Well yeah, but what's the average age, race, and income level?

I picture these women as basically a Real Housewife of Orange County: rich white 40s/50s trophy wife who's looks and sex appeal is starting to fade. Just curious if my stereotype is close to the reality.

ThrowawayFlirt250 karma

you are correct sir! haha.. majority of the client cases that I personally get assigned to are white women with too much money. late 20's to late 40's

EDIT: but my employers also get TONS of clients who are 25 - 40 year old men who want to catch their slutty young wives and gf's being whores