I must go back to work now. But before I go, allow me to Rampart the shit out of "Jimmy Kimmel Live: After the Academy Awards" Sunday night on ABC featuring Coldplay, Clooney, Streep, Hanks, Aniston & many more and my special guest Oprah (Winfrey). Thanks - it was mostly fun

Comments: 3601 • Responses: 59  • Date: 

[deleted]1924 karma


JamesBatmanKimmel1706 karma

this made me laugh

[deleted]1359 karma

Do you ever think about the fact that you are on late at night and at any given time there are probably 1000's of people fornicating with you on in the background?

JamesBatmanKimmel1555 karma


cdnmagic1231 karma

What is the biggest thing you hate about Matt Damon?

JamesBatmanKimmel2046 karma

his stupid face

vingt-deux1201 karma

Have you ever heard about Rampart?

JamesBatmanKimmel2058 karma

my publicist says you should definitely see Rampart.

JamesBatmanKimmel1018 karma

My favorite guest will be Oprah when she sits beside me on Sunday night after the Academy Awards

[deleted]925 karma

Was that flashing video staged, or did that woman feel compelled to do that on her own?

JamesBatmanKimmel1564 karma

not only did she do it on her own - she did it three times

glclark784 karma

Why did the Man Show end!? I miss its splendor and glory... and girls on trampolines.

JamesBatmanKimmel1692 karma

we wanted to go out before it became pathetic.

nygiants99749 karma

How was Ben Affleck in bed?

JamesBatmanKimmel1539 karma

rough, but tender

BillygotTalent749 karma

Just wanted to let you know. I am from Germany and never saw your show live on TV, but still I watch all the YT videos that get posted. If I were able to see your show it would be my favorite by far. Enjoy the views and laughs I always have.

Greetings from Germany

JamesBatmanKimmel1849 karma

as they say in Germany, gracias!

G35736 karma

Does Adam really complain that much?

JamesBatmanKimmel1005 karma

more even

EagleBurn701 karma

What guest have you always wanted on your show, but still have not yet to get?

JamesBatmanKimmel1382 karma

Letterman. Bill Murray. Steve Martin...for starters

kevinpadillac698 karma

is eminem as awkward as he seems, or does he loosen up backstage?

JamesBatmanKimmel1320 karma

believe it or not, he's a friendly guy

Laura_2222627 karma

What's your favourite memory from Win Ben Stein's Money?

JamesBatmanKimmel1297 karma

Ben taking naps during every commercial break

josh_hofer596 karma

I saw your friend Adam Carolla do a show in Durham, NC and he told a story about your house, a football game, and Tom Cruise.

Is Adam full of shit, or did that really happen? You asked him (Adam) to do his 'touch down' dance that involved him pretending to shit out a football. In front of Tom and his Mom haha ... oh and did Tom really bring cupcakes AND his mother to your house... for a football game?

JamesBatmanKimmel942 karma

except for the cupcakes, it happened.

MDRATL01577 karma

Hi, Jimmy. Will you hire me to be your sidekick, I will get you coffee and be snarky to everyone else that isn't you.

JamesBatmanKimmel798 karma

probably, yes

blzr_tag556 karma

Describe Andy Milonakis in 5 words.

JamesBatmanKimmel1317 karma

very very very very weird

mkultra3515 karma

The "Jimmy Kimmel Told Me To..." segment is genius! Which one is your favorite and who came up with the idea to do it?

JamesBatmanKimmel941 karma

hard to top the kids and the Halloween candy

Satogkit509 karma

How big are Adam Carolla's eyebrows in real life?

JamesBatmanKimmel1214 karma

I believe you mean eyeBROW - there's only one of them. they're substantial

FreckleException447 karma

I just want you to know that when I was in labor and giving birth I requested to watch your show in the delivery room. It was 8 years ago, Snoop was on, and it was a lovely distraction. So thank you!

JamesBatmanKimmel526 karma

wow! very cool

plunkett1234567415 karma

Have you ever seen a naked lady?

JamesBatmanKimmel1313 karma

once. it was AWESOME. she had all the parts

MacaroniMidler410 karma

What would Karl Malone say about Reddit?

JamesBatmanKimmel989 karma

he would probably mistake it for canned whipped cream

tylerftw400 karma

Is Guillermo as awesome as he seems on TV?

JamesBatmanKimmel679 karma

triple it. Hung out with him for 3 hours last night. He is funny

[deleted]397 karma

I noticed when you have a guest who is kind of nervous or shy, you handle it a lot better than any of the other late night talk show hosts. Do you feel for them or do you just think it's kind of funny?

JamesBatmanKimmel759 karma

I feel for them. It is nerve-wracking to do a talk show. You have 7 minutes to be funny. Sometimes it feels like speed dating

tea-bone390 karma

Selfish question. I swear I saw you at an airport in Naples Italy in June 2004. Could it be true?

JamesBatmanKimmel551 karma


Abyssss387 karma

What was your favorite part of having Lady Gaga on your show again? Anything surprise you about her? Also, more Cousin Sal please! He and my BFF Guillermo are comedy gold.

JamesBatmanKimmel1087 karma

she talked to my parents (who just "happened" to be sitting outside her dressing room) for 45 minutes after the show. That is a kindness I won't forget

digifreak642371 karma

Recently you popularity has gone up, and "people on the internet" seem to like you more than they did 5 years ago. Do you think this change has come from you changing your style or just people warming up to you?

JamesBatmanKimmel600 karma

You'd probably know better than me. I hope you're right, I really don't know

Epyon311361 karma

Who's worse at paying back bets, Adam Carolla or Bill Simmons?

JamesBatmanKimmel508 karma

Carolla. No contest

katimakittykat349 karma

If you could have a song play when you walk into a room, what would it be?

JamesBatmanKimmel1324 karma

this actually does happen to me, most every night

danimaroo340 karma

Do you miss LOST as much as I do? :(

JamesBatmanKimmel643 karma

I miss Lost terribly

jbick89328 karma

Last time you did an AMA, somebody asked you what your favorite obscure movie quote was. You responded, "Let's go to a motel. We don't have to do anything - we could just swim."

For the love of all that is holy, WHAT MOVIE IS THIS FROM????

JamesBatmanKimmel393 karma

The One and Only

inappropriatestretch286 karma

Have you been face-to-face with Leno since you portrayed him during the E! Michael Jackson trial or during the parody show during Conangate? Has he responded to you personally about it?

JamesBatmanKimmel825 karma

yes - that was many years ago. We've had a number of uncomfortable moments since then

JamesBatmanKimmel428 karma

yes - that was many years ago. We've had a number of uncomfortable moments since then

JamesBatmanKimmel314 karma

no and no

dontmutemeplz275 karma

What's your favorite television series at the moment?

JamesBatmanKimmel1126 karma

Breaking Bad

Talpostal275 karma

Any chance that we'll ever see a reincarnation of The Man Show with you and/or Adam Carolla?

JamesBatmanKimmel601 karma


metallnika274 karma

please jimmy invite will ferrel and john c. to your show

JamesBatmanKimmel1154 karma

Will will be here soon.... (or) will Will be here soon?

cole1114270 karma

Would you rather:

A) Be forced to do your show 24/7 for the rest of your life


B) Be attacked by Gary Busey once, for 15 minutes

JamesBatmanKimmel446 karma


trifecta252 karma

Have you seen Woody Harrelson's new movie Rampage?

JamesBatmanKimmel515 karma

poor Woody....maybe next time I'll have him do this with me

Badwolfdegrande239 karma

If you are a hotdog, would you eat yourself?

JamesBatmanKimmel554 karma

all men would

ODasiti225 karma

I was a huge fan of Uncle Frank and it was very sad to see him pass. Your tribute to him was very touching. Could you tell us a story about him that has never been told before? Be it funny or sad or anything! You're awesome Jimmy!

JamesBatmanKimmel335 karma

thank you - yesterday was the six month anniversary of his death. We still miss him terribly. almost everything he did was funny.

KirbyTails212 karma

What was your weirdest and/or most random experience with the show?

JamesBatmanKimmel570 karma

taking a picture last night with die antwoord and Huey Lewis (together) last night was right up there near the top.

ssdestroyer205 karma

Have you ever had a guest on your show that you've absolutely hated interviewing?

JamesBatmanKimmel473 karma


BuBBA425177 karma

Will there be a Juggy Reunion???

JamesBatmanKimmel432 karma

what would be sadder than that?

be_o3175 karma

What's your favourite meme?

JamesBatmanKimmel446 karma

I'm enjoying the cinnamon challenges

rpg151 karma

Hi Jimmy. How do you get yourself to look so handsome everyday?

JamesBatmanKimmel481 karma

it's a team effort.

IYGFAA150 karma

Name a historical figure who you would love to have a beer with

JamesBatmanKimmel637 karma

Kurt Vonnegut (does he count as historical yet?)

sheesh147 karma

You host parties for Howard Stern. Does everyone that attends hope that Howard talks about them on the Stern show? Who are some people that attended that you were very surprised to see? Any other good stories about Howard in California?

JamesBatmanKimmel255 karma

Most people hope he DOESN'T

encg139 karma

Will Mindy Kaling ever been on your show?

JamesBatmanKimmel232 karma

I hope so. Like her a lot

trow125138 karma

Will you ever bring back Celebrity Barbershop Quartet (or, at least, Celebrity in a Box)?

JamesBatmanKimmel463 karma

I forgot about that. It turns out that most celebrities object to being trapped in a box

seditious_commotion135 karma

Did you prefer The Man Show or Jimmy Kimmel Live?

JamesBatmanKimmel590 karma

Crank Yankers was the most fun of all of them

ss0rc131 karma

When you were younger did you ever imagine your life being how it is right now?

JamesBatmanKimmel250 karma

I often ask myself that question. Suffice it to say, I did not.

mcgolfer8124 karma

Who comes up with the tasks you ask your audience to do and film? i.e the bad christmas gifts

JamesBatmanKimmel225 karma

the writers and I - and occasionally, we get good suggestions from twitter followers

Ewing10186 karma

why doesnt cousin sal drink?

JamesBatmanKimmel200 karma

if you met him, you'd know

[deleted]82 karma

why are you always squinting? are you still close with adam?

JamesBatmanKimmel172 karma

I don't know why I squint. I can't help it. And yes, I am

Kirkenburger7456 karma

What is it like meeting these super famous people. Do you ever get star struck? If you do, who was the last person you were starstruck by?

JamesBatmanKimmel135 karma

I met Oprah on Monday. She spent an hour in my bathtub.

pootsforever55 karma

Jimmy-Your tribute to Uncle Frank was one of the saddest yet heartwarming things ever broadcasted on television. What was your favorite moment with him?

JamesBatmanKimmel132 karma

I loved to watch him argue with my Aunt Chippy. I have hours of videotape of them fighting. Every Easter, I would instigate something

dh2854 karma

Is Dicky Barrett the coolest guy in the world?

JamesBatmanKimmel144 karma

coolest white guy

mike11442 karma

Your set at the Roast of Flavor Flav was the funniest I've seen, any chance you'll do another?

JamesBatmanKimmel87 karma

probably sometime - if the roastee is someone I know very well. The roasts have become a bit too random for me

rorryantovan40 karma

Hi Jimmy, huge fan. Do you still hang out with Andy Milonakis? You guys going to do anything together again?

JamesBatmanKimmel122 karma

Andy lives in my attic.