I had the hiccups for 459 days straight. It completely changed my life. I tried EVERYTHING! Nothing worked. So I asked Reddit. One of you changed my life.

I wonder if that was the original intent of waterboarding.

So if a terrorist has chronic hiccups, you torture him by refusing to waterboard.

i'm getting water BORED

You got me.

Is it odd to thank somebody for waterboarding you?

A little?? Over the last year my friends have done so many weird things to me trying to cure my hiccups. Even when I gave up they wouldn't. I think their secretly disappointed that I'm cured because now I'm not their guinea anymore.

by weird do you mean sexual things involving your mouth? ...

Mostly.

dude, i'm really happy for you! i award you a free pass to grab the nearest hot girl and kiss her, v-day style!

edit:i made the suggestion. i just thought the combination of water and extreme fear might help. i never expected it to work though!

IT IS YOU! What made you think waterboarding would cure his hiccups?

i felt really bad for sir_hix-a-lot, because of the story i heard about the guy who killed himself due to constant hiccups (guiness book of records?)

you know how you are told to drink a cup of water standing on your head, or for someone to scare you... well combine those two and waterboarding seemed the natural next step.

pure genius

This is the either the greatest bullshit in the world or the most hilarious shit on the internet.

Seriously, you fucking got waterboarded. What was it like?

It was kinda panic inducing. I didn't even get waterboarded that much cause we were busted. For a split second I literally felt like I was drowning on the inside.

"Did you steal eggs?" My dad said people would say that phrase to people with hiccups, in order to induce panic, which would then make the hiccups go away. My folks grew up in a poor area so getting accused of stealing was supposed to be really bad. I think the waterboarding kicks up the panic a few notches.

Is egg crime a serious offence where you come from?

With holy water, though? Kinda weird. Are you all Catholic?

If not, I submit that you should be now.

We're non-dom. My friends said it was holy water. They could have been joking. We do have holy water at our church tho.

It was probably piss.

who carries urine blessed ?around that's silly.

I had my wiener blessed by a priest when I was a child, so I'm assuming my piss has been blessed ever since.

hotdogs

Would you condone it as a method of interrogation?

I condon't any torture or forced bathing.

Now if only Sean Hannity would get the hiccups...

Explain??

A christian woman called waterboarding "muslim torture". I laughed and cried at the same time.

She's one of those oblivious bigots without a clue how racist she can be. When this Jewish family moved in our hood she wanted to welcome and make them feel homely. But she kept bringing up their jewness. The Greenbergs are new around here let's all welcome our new Jewish neighbors. The son got a kick out of it. We call him Jew kid on the block.

Can we get a Gold Star up in this bitch? I want a 20+ minute video of your stomach being calm as shit.

Give ufoninja a gold star. He deserves it.

Give him this.

:)

We'd like pics of your abs.

LOL OK
http://i.imgur.com/WJ9w3.jpg

All I'm going to say is wow. I think that covers it.

Don't be fooled! I'm pretty skinny and with my shirt on I look like I'm 12. People tease me saying I look like Justin Beiber.

Tease you? I mean as much as I hate him, girls are all over that shit. And you have abs? Dayum.

I don't think I look too much like him??
http://i.imgur.com/nwvPg.jpg

It's the hair. Get a hair cut, or a different style and the comparisons will stop.

I like my hair. I was born first, he should get a haircut.

So....

....when do you turn 18?

LOL Why?

Dude you're hot!

haha thanks...?

Which is worse, looking like Justin Beiber or having hiccups for a year?

Being told I look like the Beib.

i for one would like to see more

OOOOOK
http://i.imgur.com/FD1KZ.jpg

DISCO BALL!

my room is cheesy

Correction: Your room is AWESOME. I, too, have a discoball in my room. I have a friend that has 5.

FIVE? That's a lot of Disco.

Left handed are we?

yehh

God damn. Was there any additional workout for that, or is it fully the product of hiccups?

I swim and played soccer. I like to think the hiccups had a lot to do with it tho. My abs were always tense and burning especially in the beginning. The first month I woke up one morning after a rough night of hiccuping and felt like I had done a billion crunches in my sleep.

Swimming? Was that not a problem?

It was. I mentioned it somewhere else I think. hiccups would cause me to constantly swallow water.

What was the best thing about having hiccups? Did they stop hurting after a while?

I got mad abs. Four real. All that compression really made a difference. The hiccups never really hurt but were really loud most of the time. In a cold empty place like church or classroom they would echo really loud. It was always embarrassing.

So basically you were forced to do crunches for over a year.

Basically. But at least now girls look at me more. Before I was just a skinny wimp.

skinny wimp that wouldn't stop hiccuping. Freak.

FTFY

So true :O

Somewhere, Donald Rumsfeld smiles.

Pics or it didn't happen.

Are you afraid they'll come back again?

The waterboarders?

This made me laugh.

YES. Sometimes it's all I think about.

TIL Somebody got waterboarded with holy water.

ME!

You're either the best troll I've seen today, or the best story. Either way, thanks!

I'm no troll but I think there are some leaving comments. My orignal IAMA last month was a fun experience. Most everyone was so nice. This time, not as much. There's a lot of negative energy here. Makes me sad.

So is your username worthless now?

Nah. I still like it. I like hiccups and I cannot lie.

it wasn't the waterboarding, it was the holy water.

Maybe... If it was even holy water. They said it was but they like to pull my leg. Lying about holy water seems kinda ironic.

I wonder why it worked. Whats the science behind it?

I think I probably just swallowed too much water/choked. Maybe it was the angle. Maybe the force. I don't question it.

How long has it been since your last hiccup?

Two weeks tomorrow.

how the fuck did you sleep with hiccups?

I was put on Ambien. I'm not supposed to be taking it anymore but I still have a whole bunch left. My rents don't know tho.

Congrats! What was the thing that started the hiccups in the first place? A really funny joke?

I can't even remember anymore. I think they started while I was eating dinner one night and just never stopped.

Did you drink soda before it happened?

Not really. Soda has always been frowned upon in my house.

Are you sleeping better now that you're cured?

First couple of nights were weird but it has been much easier to sleep. Hiccups would always make me hot and bothered. I can't sleep unless I'm cold. Now I sleep like a baby.