IAMA wildly incompetent network security admin and have no business in my job. AMA.
I wouldn't ask anything regarding network or system security though.
To get it out of the way, I work for a casino that luckily has its head so far up its ass the only reason we're still open is probably because the city is afraid imploding us will send roaches all over the place.
I've been with this casino for about 4 years. The IT department is small, because the execs dont believe IT is important. My day to day tasks include creating/deleting network accounts for new/termed employees. I have a hand in some compliance audit stuff, but I always just refer the auditors to someone else when they have questions mostly because I dont know the answers.
I'd rather not mention the casino name, but I'll say its in Vegas.
All in all, I worked 40 hours a week, but I do MAYYYYBE 1 solid hour of work per week. I make about $16/hr SIXTEEN. I regularly sneak in an hour late and leave a half hour early. My boss couldn't care less, and has lied through his teeth to make it seem like I am more valuable than I am, just because he hates it here too.
FWIW nobody actually knows that I dont know shit about network security, because my job duties dont actively include those types of tasks and my boss is a security genius, so anything that is needed on that front is handled by him.
*edit: Since alot of people are asking this question: The reason I dont spend time learning the job is partly due to laziness. I mean it's awesome spending all day playing battlefieldheroes or transformice. But also the only one that knows his shit here and could teach me the job, (my boss, the security genius) is far lazier than I, and spend all his time in meetings. He basically taught me everything I know up to this point, way back when I started. Now, he doesnt' give a shit. *
**2nd edit: Whats Vegas like? working in a casino is ridiculous. so many tourists who will spend thousands of dollars. no, not spend, just GIVE thousands of dollars to a machine with flashy lights.
I have developed an extreme hatred for people in general. I refuse to wear my ID badge so people dont stop and ask me questions. I've been reprimanded and even warranted the CEO sending out a memo that stated 'EVERYONE HAS TO WEAR THEIR BADGE' and I still dont do it. I just changed my schedule to leave earlier than any execs and get in after they do so they never see me without it.
also working at a casino means you get free lunches too. we're only supposed to eat once, but i go several times throughout the day. I once changed the settings on the turnstyle applicatoin to allow me unlimited cafeteria entries. Everyone else was set at 1. The benefits of admin passwords
3rd edit: removed out of fear
4th edit: my boss is actually reading this right now and actually laughed out loud and then dropped a network scanner and broke it. This is shaping up to be a great day
5th edit: acutally after some math i make $17.80/hr
6th edit: actually after considering how much i work, i make about $600/hr
7th edit: I once unplugged our Internet T1 line so I could "stay and work on the issue" instead of going to a mandatory meeting with the executives...
8th: if anyone can think of away I can prove this without giving away too much info, i would? I could take apicture of my office, but that all shows is I'm awesome. (I work with 4 monitors) and have ajob. it wont show my incompetence. Although my filthy desk would...no execs see my desk...but they could after this post..idk
9th: proof? I guess. here are 2 pics of me in my awesome office, which I use 4 monitors to prove that I have an insane work load. Also I first wrote the note on the back of alist of domain admins and it was visible through with the monitor light, so I rewrote it, but its visible on the monitor. If anyone gives away where I work, please for the love of god dont say anything...seriously. this is no joke. I'm not trolling. this is my life.
I'm not proud, but I'm not ashamed.
img deleted after 24 hrs
10TH EDIT: heading home for the night but I'll answer more there. I appreciate all the kudos and all the questions and even all the flaming. its all good. I got nothing better to do :)
i wont be submitting a pic of myself. i thought better of that.
also if you doubt my incompetence, then just note how many edits i've made, how many replies i've made (almost to every single reply) and then note that it was ALL DURING NORMAL BUSINESS HOURS...
i'm still replying to all comments all the way down, so feel free to ask away.
*FINAL EDIT: My boss just refused to comp bud light for me. Not because its wrong to drink at work...but, because "it's not real beer. Get Newcastle. As many as you want." *
I guess I win, internet. I win.