We are No Such Thing As A Fish, ask us anything!

@James - as the editor of the podcast, do you find that you edit yourself to be more quick-witted and articulate?

Which one of the other three of you is this? ...the answer is obviously yes

JH

STOP THE AMA!

Hey guys, just a quick message to say: "How did you first get into working for QI?"

...ON WITH THE AMA!

Andy came from Asgard. James is a multi billionaire engineer and arms dealer. Anna is a Russian spy who defected in the early 00’s. Dan goes green when he gets angry. No, hang on, that’s the avengers.

How do you "script" each episode? Everyone just finds their facts, research them on their own, then hit record and go or is it more involved than that?

Yup, that's it. We send each other the headline facts, and then all disappear to research those facts. We never tell each other what we've found so the conversation is genuine.

I think everyone who watches QI has had the experience of telling someone an interesting fact, only to be told 'Yeah, I watched QI too.'

Have you ever had anyone tell one of your own facts back to you, either from QI or from the podcast?

Sometimes. But it’s much worse telling a fact then realising halfway through you can’t remember the second half of it...

Is it REALLY in no particular order?

It’s according to the ancient Babylonian calendar. We’re trying to fulfil the prophecy and end the world.

Why is Anna not on Twitter?

Because it would ruin a 5 year long running gag. She's actually dying to get on it. We won't let her though. DS

I think it be even funnier just to say @ Ptaszynski without spelling it for listeners

Ptaszynski

Wow. I was waaaaay off. I always thought, based on how Dan says it, that it would be something like "Czesynski".

That's because Dan always says it wrong :)

SHE NEVER TOLD ME I WAS SAYING IT WRONG!!! Who let's someone say their name wrong for a year before telling them. Same thing with Covent Garden.

Hello, Thanks for your work, I'm a big fan! Do you think you'll come to America for a tour soon?

We would LOVE to come to America and may (or may not - got to keep people guessing) have tentative plans to do so next year. But in case that's true, can you please promise to drum up enough support for us there so that we don't play to a bunch of empty theatres? Much obliged. AP

What is the drunkest you've ever been in work?

anna and i downed a pint of processco just before going on stage, because my fact was about how Charles Dickens used to down a pint of champagne before performing. DS

Any excuse

I'd pay double to watch this!

We'll film it next time. DS

What do they say of the Acropolis where the Parthenon is?

THERE ARE NO STRAIGHT LINES

At a rate of 4 facts a week every week, are you ever worried you'll run out of facts?

Do you have a backup plan in case of an unexpected fact shortage?

4 facts a week?? Mate, we tell you way more than that. It's four headline facts, but dozens more on top of that, dontcha know - so yes, of course, we expect to run out any day now. However, we've borrowed that memory wipey thing off Will Smith in Men In Black and we plan to use it on the entire world as soon as we do run out, then go back and reuse all our old material again, for you all to be freshly amazed. This is actually the fourth or fifth time we've wiped your memories and run back through all the old facts

Do you folks still research for QI? It seems like the podcast, itself, is a lot of work. How long do you typically research around each other’s facts?

Love the show!

James, Anna & Andy still work on QI - Dan now mostly is coming up with new ideas. Luckily we have another 10 or so amazing researchers who can pick up the slack when we’re busy podcasting

Is there going to be a series 3 of NSTATN?

We'd love for there to be. Please protest outside the BBC on our behalf. DS

Hi guys! You did a world cup themed Factball episodes way back, where facts from different countries competed against each other. That was a lot of fun. Are you going to try any new formats in the future?

We would love to. The weekly schedule keeps us running pretty fast but if we think of anything cool we’ll definitely try it!

When are you gonna come to Canada for shows? Don't you want a free portrait of the Queen?

We all have portraits of the Queen already (Dan has gone the extra mile and got a tattoo.) But we would LOVE to play Canada. The latest episode features Stephen Fry’s best Canadian Stories...

What is the weirdest thing Dan has claimed is definitely a fact?

In a live show last week he got the attention of the 1000 strong audience to inform us all he had something AMAZING to report, then proceeded to tell us that your ears still work even when you're asleep. So sometimes it's what surprises him that really amazes the rest of us. And also he once claimed when fizzy drinks are carried over seas, they take the bubbles out at one end and put them back in at the other. AP

Do you guys ever find that the Lightning's (formerly known as Andy) raw sexual power distracts you from doing your jobs?

If you mean ‘is it difficult to podcast when nauseous’, then the answer’s yes.

What fact you would recommnded for me to use as pick up line?

What fact made you believe there might be such thing as fate/destiny?

What fact should I use to make my friends listen to your podcast?

I love your work and so glad to find it that it made my commute so enjoyable. Also my earphones drop off frequently laughing from your podcast and many people on my train look at me weirdly now

For the last month of his life, US President James Garfield at everything through his anus is the answer to all of those questions.

Hi all. I get a ton of enjoyment out of your show, so thank you! Hopefully you'll stop by the United States soon.

If we as listeners find quite interesting tidbits in out of the way places, would you like them sent in for your perusal? Or would that lead to piles of facts you've already heard or which aren't that notable?

Also, I'm still a smidge sad that James changed his Twitter handle.

Thanks again!

Yes please! Definitely tweet them to us - or if you don’t have Twitter email Anna. If you don’t have email, please write a letter on headed notepaper. If you don’t have headed notepaper I’m not sure we can help. AHM

Hi!

​

Firstly, thank you - I used one of your facts (on Manta Rays) as part of my MSc Viva and you guys helped me get my Distinction and onto my PhD. So yeah, really appreciate that!

​

Secondly, who has been your favourite guest? And how do they end up getting involved?

Simply because it was so random and he’s such a nice guy - it has to be Corey from Slipknot for me (JH) - we found him because he once did an interview at Download Festival and said he watched QI so we emailed him out of the blue and were amazed he replied.

What are your least favourite fruits, each?

James is scared of pineapple because it eats you while you're eating it (genuinely; sort of). Anna finds some strawberries too tart for her delicate, tender tastebuds. Andy will eat any fruit so long as it's chopped into identically sized pieces and served on a plate with a full gamut of cutlery. Dan doesn't know what fruit is.

Why do you all treat Dan’s facts like they’re actual facts?

There is a *theory* that Dan’s facts are the only correct ones. Wow.

Afternoon all

What are your favourite podcasts (other than yourselves)? My list is running low...

I love radiolab, invisibilia and 99% Invisible when I'm feeling facty, but my absolute regulars are From Our Own Correspondent and radio 3's Composer of the Week podcast. And the Totally Football Show. And I'm not telling you which of us this is so you'll just have to guess who it is that has such fabulous and eclectic taste.

Hi, when is Tom Scott going to make an appearance? Also, I'd love to see a collaboration with No Such Thing As A Fish and Citation Needed, I think the mashup would be great, like super nerdy 8 out of 10 does countdown.

Thanks, by the way, you lot help take my mind off things before going to bed, help me learn something new and laugh at the same time.

Tom is a good friend of mine (JH) and would obviously be great on the show but he’s always jetsetting somewhere. As for a mash up with CN, I think the universe would implode of me and Matt were ever to be in the same room at the same time

What kind of music do you guys like?

James likes anything after 1994. Andy likes anything up to 1972. Anna likes Simon and Garfunkel. And Dan is in a Boyz II Men tribute act called Male Energy.

​

What fact from the podcast are you most dubious of?

Any of mine. DS

What’s your top go to fact or fact that has totally blown your mind?

& In some episodes you’ve shown yourselves to be totally bamboozled by interesting legal facts (which are interesting) but common knowledge to actual lawyers - would you consider getting a lawyer on the team for a few episodes to pull up the really funny stuff?

That the fart you release if not you farting, but a collection of millions of bacteria farts all being ejected from your body in one massive blow. *BRAIN EXPLODES*

Please, I must know what they are they saying in...Japanese?...in your show intro.

It's a robot voice informing someone that their bath is ready.

Is it true that Dan is the lovechild of Lloyd Grossman and a bag of hair?

Tune into The Jeremy Kyle Show next week Monday to find out. DS

If your personality was a combination of famous people named Harry, which “Harry”s would you be?

Can I be Harriet the Spy or is that cheating? I used to always want to be a spy. But not a proper one, just the kind that carries a magnifying glass around everywhere and forces their friends to provide fingerprint samples constantly. And also I'll take a smidge of Harry Enfield, combining every character he's ever played. AP

What's the most disturbing fact you've found?

Thanks for the great show! I love having a few weeks saved up, and then listening through them on a long car ride.

That the reason vultures have no feathers on their necks is so that when they stick their heads up the anus of a dead animal in order to eat its entrails, they don't get their lovely neck feathers covered in poo stains on the way out. I'm sorry, but you did ask. AP

James - because your hair is so amazing have you ever shaken it and said “because I’m worth it”?

I never thought to do that before. But now I have I’m regretting it as I’m getting some strange looks on this train to Copenhagen. JH

Do your families listen to the podcasts?

Andy’s parents have heard the vinyl one and that’s it. All our families come to various live gigs though. I think it’s nice for them to see us boring other people with facts instead of them at the dinner table....

Do you ever find out after shows have aired that some of the facts are wrong? Do you get tarred and feathered if so?

Tarring and feathering is nothing compared to making a public apology at the start of the next show, as Anna had to the week after Leicester...

Firstly, I wanted to say a big thank you for how kind and welcoming you were to my 10yo son when we came to the Nottingham show recently. He's a huge fan of the show, and his ambition is to be an elf one day, so meeting you all was a huge deal for him. Standing in the line to get his book signed he looked up at me and said "my heart is POUNDING" :)

So my question is what background you all have to have ended up as QI researchers? How did you find your way into the job?

Tell your boy: he rocks. Background doesn't matter. Just make sure he follows his gut, and tell him to be brave and take risks. Remind him if at 10 he's listening to a shows like this, it means he's already switched on to what he wants to do in life. Lots of love, Yoda.

What was your favourite live recording to do? (Hi btw!)

In terms of epic scale: Sydney Opera House. In terms of wild audience energy: Dunstable. Plus, Dunstable has an entire shop devoted to Exotic Pets.

AHM

What qualifies a fact to be good enough for the podcast? Obviously it needs to lead into other facts and be able to lead a decent discussion, but how do you decide that?

Anna, how was the root canal?

We send over options, and then it's the one that makes us go 'wow' or makes us laugh, that makes it through. We thought Anna's root canal was a success, until 30 mins ago, when one of her teeth literally fell out of her mouth as she was talking to us. DS

Do you think there will ever be a man born who can swim faster than a shark?

Absolutely. So long as you’re talking about a Greenland shark which has a top speed of 1mph

JH

Is your job a 9-5? I can't really believe you guys read facts for QI, podcast (as well as other activities) and bully Alex as a "normal" job. What's your work day actually like?

It's 24/7. Which is unfortunate for Alex. DS

Will you do an April fools special about interesting April fools pranks?

Yes!

Psych!!!! April Fool!!!!

Are there any news facts that happened after you finished the Book of the Year that you wished you could have included?

Yes - the story of the Australian PR guru Roxy Jacenko who had to have her booked pulped because the quote on the front read " Roxy never fails to disappoint" DS

What’s your favourite fact of all time?

It changes by the minute. I've given a different answer every time on here but in this current minute I like the fact that the last thing Robert Falcon Scott wrote was a letter to his wife as he lay in his Antarctic tent, urging her to nurture in their son a love of nature. That son went on to found the WWF (the World Wide Fund for Nature one, not the wrestling one). And he designed the panda logo.

Do you have transcripts or a wiki with what each episode has? Where's it or why not?

Some generous member of the public used to put all our episodes on Wiki but clearly got bored and gave up after a while, and they've since disappeared. When one of us gets around to it, we'll update those pages again, but maybe don't hold your breath!

What do you answer when someone asks you what you do for work?

I tell them what I do for work. And then I usually ask them what they do for work because that seems polite, and then we'll often have a conversation about our respective jobs and try to find things they might have in common. Then sometimes I'll buy them a pint or they buy me a pint and we take the friendship from there. Please buy my book: Blindingly Obvious Social Tips, available now in all good bookshops. AP

Hi there, my last name is fish. How would you explain that? 🤔

Sorry, you don't exist. Will have to report you as a bot.

How single is Andy?

very un-single. Dan was devastated to learn this.

Anna, how's your jaw? You mentioned something about breaking it and I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not.

*I realise this might sound a bit crazy/stalkerish, but I promise you I'm to lazy to stalk anyone and I'm far far away. Did that make it worse? It did didn't it?

It's great thanks, coming along nicely, back on the hard foods. I also broke most of my teeth though, and another one literally just fell out of my mouth as we were starting this AMA. But, you win some, you lose some. Point taken re stalking, but just to be on the safe side you will receive notice of the restraining order from my lawyers.

​

Any plans to release "Behind The Gills" worldwide?

I think it's available in America, Canada, Australia and New Zealand as well as the UK but sadly we couldn't work out the finances and logistics of getting it subtitled for other countries. Sorry!

Greetings from Iceland. The Fry podcast is great!

What would a person have to do to get into a similar line of work?

Will you be releasing videos like NSTATN in the future? Like a pay per episode kinda thing.

Will there ever be a Schreiberland Resort?

Can I send facts?

​

Thanks! Head to qi.com/talk and start adding facts - If it's QI you are interested in. We did a video on twitter today that has a NSTATN vibe. Check it out on @nosuchthing. And yes, there will one day be a Schreiberland. Micro-nation on the way, apply for passports now. DS

Dan big question - who would win in a fight a yeti or Bigfoot?

Whoa. Huge question. This needs a whole different Reddit IAMA thread to answer. DS

Favourite dog breed?

Schnauzer. Half dog, half sneeze.

Have you got any gigs in Dublin coming up? I listen every week but would love to go to one of the live shows here in Ireland!

we do! we're back in march, tickets available at: nosuchthingasafish.com

Have any of you ever started researching something only to realise it’s already been covered on the podcast, and you’ve forgotten about it?

Andy here. This happens a worrying amount, so much so that it may be best to delete all the old episodes and start afresh. Like in Dr Strangelove, or Die Hard 4.

What sports teams, if any, do you support?

James supports Tranmere Rovers and Jacksonville Jaguars; Anna supports Oxford United and Newcastle United; Dan supports the Socceroos; Andy supports many worthwhile charities

what type of comedy/which comedians do each of you like?

If I had to think of one comic that we all agree is incredible, off the top of my head: James Acaster. But there are hundreds more. We all like puns. And Mr. Bean. DS

What is the weirdest thing a fan has asked you to sign?

P.s Thank you guys for calling my mate a twat in his book on his Birthday. Your show in York was great

We have signed shoe soles, faces, and on one occasion, a book we didn’t even write. We’ll sign anything.

Greetings from Argentina!!! Love the podcast.

Has any fact ever got you any blowback from the audience? If so which one?

Thanks!

Does anyone know what ‘blowback’ means in Argentina? It can’t be what I think it is?

Hi, thanks for the laughs! I've been listening for years now and I'm glad I got the opportunity to go to one of the live recordings earlier this year, it was great fun.

So, my question: first you released a vinyl, then a cassette, what's next, a CD? And if you continue with this trend, are you going to come up with some crazy future technology to distribute your recordings in?

Cheers.

Laser Disc!

How did you end up in the podcast crew?

we all work in the same office in covent garden, and it grew out of the conversations we were having in the office.

Now that you've had Stephen Fry on, what QI guest/alum would you love to have on but haven't been able to yet?

If she were ever able to juggle us with cake-baking, women's equality campaigning and QI hosting (those are not in order of importance) we would obviously love to get Sandi on. Any excuse to persuade her to hang out with us more, really. And we're about to start the Q series research meetings with her, so we'll probably lock her in the office after one of those and make her come on!

Is a taco a sandwich?

Andy says: 100% no. That’s like asking if a lolly is an icicle. Same ingredients, same ballpark, very different experience.

Hi guys!

What is a good fact to drop in a conversation to seem like an interesting person?

By the number of tyres made, the Lego company is the biggest tyre manufacturer in the world. If they’re not interested after that, they’re not worth it

Where did the name of the podcast come from?

It comes from an old question on our parent TV show QI - One alternative title was going to be Q-Ear (glad we didn’t go for that)

What is the least believable fact you've ever heard?

Anna once tried to convince us that the blanket was invented by a guy called Mr Blanket - it turns out to be almost true, he existed and sold blankets but they already had that name

How much are you putting on an act and how much is it your real personality?

80/20. But we’ll never say which way round.

What is your favorite part of the process when leading up to a new episode?

finding that initial fact that blows your mind, and then the discovery of a whole world you didn't know about when looking into it.

Will you ever so more than one podcast a week? Is Anna dating one of the other fish? I'm sure i remember this, but i might've dreamt it! Looking forward to seeing you again in Scotland!

She sure is. BUT WHICH ONE??? (no but seriously, she actually isn't. Or is she????? Can we leave the question hanging and hope we make it into Heat Magazine? Is Heat Magazine still a thing?)

Who is running the QI elves twitter account? I noticed they never retract/correct facts when people point out mistakes in the replies. Sorry, not trying to be rude, I love you elves!

That's our social media manager Other James. We do often retract/bring down facts when we're provided with sources that disprove any facts posted. Here's an example from yesterday https://twitter.com/qikipedia/status/1065647406644174848

Where did you get the KACL t-shirt?

Whimsical answer: my psychiatrist gave it to me as a joke. Real answer: Redbubble

Are there any plans to ever come to some non-English countries for live shows? (Maybe even Austria to be more specific?)

HUGE leak coming, please don't tell the paps, but....rumour has it that we may be touring Europe sometime next year. You didn't hear it from me, or at all. Destroy this message.

Where's a free, easy place I can listen to the podcast? (Listening from the UK) I don't have Spotify premium

iTunes, Audioboom, Deezer, and anywhere that good podcasts are stored.

Do you ever find it difficult to think of facts or find things to fill a segment?

.

I need a few short facts for reasons, are there any that you recommend? What was your favourite episode of the podcast and what was your favourite episode of Qi?

Mice sing - doesn’t get much shorter than that

Which Godzilla movie is each of your favorites?

The latest. By Gareth Edwards. But mainly because we knew him before he was Godzilla big, when he was merely Monsters big.

Are fish real?

Yes. We shouldn't have let dan, the one who gets all his facts wrong, name the show.

What food would you avoid under any circumstances? I love the podcast btw :)

Today in Sweden I had urine soaked fish washed down with three penis wine. The wine was fine, but I’ll be happy going through life never having the fish again. JH

What episode do you recommend new listeners start with?

(Please don't say the first episode)

Episode 196. (I can’t remember what’s in it but I think we can all agree it’s a great number)

What are each of your favourite facts you've ever found in all of your years of research for QI/NSTAAF?

There are too many, it's not possible to choose. Should a parent pick a favourite child? Think of us as people with about 5000 children each, all of whom we love equally. Though I've always been partial to the fact that the inventor of Shredded Wheat's son invented round Shredded Wheat. And Andy loves how in Sweden, a brand of meatballs contained so little meat that they had to be renamed 'balls'. Dan has the maturity of an eight year old so loves that Charles Dickens' sister, Fanny, was taught to play the organ by a man named Dr Crotch. And James is really into stupid records so loves that the world record for kicking yourself in the head the most times is.....oh I can't remember the exact number, ask him yourself.

Do you come up with some jokes while researching and hope for an opportunity to get it in? I bet James is doing this.

I think it’s pretty obvious to a listener if you do this - so I’m sure you can infer from your own question that I obviously do and the others wouldn’t dream of it - JH

Hey! Big fan here! You guys have covered Zoology quite often on and off the show, can I ask what the heck this ding-dong thing is? https://i.imgur.com/TfCMpr1.png

I can’t really tell on my phone, but it looks like a mouse mat made from an actual mouse - JH

Hey Dan! What's your favourite 'fact' about yetis?

The one I did on the show a long time ago - that it is easier to escape a female yeti than a male one, because the female has such long dangling boobs - so before she can chase you, she needs to chuck them over their shoulders (like a scarf) or she might trip on them.

How did James get into golfing? What does he find interesting about golf?

No one knows why he finds it interesting, and no one knows how he got into it because in order to find out we'd have to ask him, and then we'd be stuck in a conversation about golf. AP

Why do you keep referring to exoplanets as huge?

It just means they are outside of our solar system.

They are huge, you're just seeing it from very far away. Explanation here

​

Let's get down to the real questions.

You guys like Marmite?

I neither love nor hate it. Though today I was at the ‘Disgusting Food Museum’ in Sweden and they have vegemite. The curator said that inclusion caused a diplomatic incident with Australia! JH