Hi, I'm Alex Dobrenko, creator and star of the new series DISTANCE, a comedy about a long distance love and awkward cyber sex. Ask me anything!

Creative idea for a show. I’ll have to check it out.

Any advice for someone who might want to start on their own film project?

Thanks so much, really appreciate that.

Advice...god I know its cliche but JUST DO IT. Write a script, share it with people, get a lot of feedback, and be okay with the feedback and know that it is the only path towards improvement. Then get a few friends together and shoot it. Then show that around and get feedback. Accept the fact that you are in a constant state of improvement, and that's not only okay but really fucking cool.

Beyond all that, let go of control. You are not in control of the art, of the project, of any of this. And with that letting go will come a letting go of expectations, I think.

But hey, I know its hard to share stuff, so if you have anything you want to kick around with someone, DM it to me and I would be happy to take a look!

I'm gonna piggyback on this... Don't ever rule out revisiting a project. Your first project is such a labor of love, know that it may not be perfect and by the time you finish your second project it will about you on ways you never thought possible (if I had done this, etc.). Don't be afraid to reboot that project one day, as said above, jump in, just do it...

YES. There is no such thing as perfection, it is an illusion that prevents us from the real job, which is to create.

Super well said, @roanokephotog

In a similar vein, understand when to stop working on a piece. When creating something, it's easy to feel like it's never "complete" because you can never make it perfect. Rather than aiming to bring it to completion, understand when the diminishing returns are no longer worth the effort to continue refining your work, stop, and call it done. Move on to the next thing and take what you've learned with you.

YES. I agree 100%.

Maybe this is a dumb follow up question but here goes. How do you go about PRODUCING films/shows. I'm a writer and I have a few screen plays that I would love to see turned into reality. But I have... No camera, and no money. I know a fair bit about how to make a money but basically no idea how to make it actually possible.

do you have a smart phone? Do you have a few friends who can help? Try to - and I know this is so hard as a pessimist myself - but try and focus on the things you DO have and not the things you don't. Embrace the imperfections of low budget filmmaking. Those constraints will be what make your project really interesting!

Awesome advice! I dig the honesty. One of my favorite things about writing is how few materials are needed to bring what's in you head into the world. Film sometimes feels like the opposite, and it can be really daunting. Honestly I've thought about shooting on my phone so much but figured it probably wasn't "done". Any advice on low budget sound recording? That seems like the biggest hurdle for filming on a phone.

Edit: I'll admit it. I was redditing in traffic. Pardon my word jumbles.

It is done!! Don't worry so much about how it will be, you just gotta do it! And think really specifically about what your goals are? You aren't making the next Blade Runner on your phone, but you can make something that you can share with 3 people in your life. That's such a cool thing - to share art with ANYONE. Don't fall into the trap of the numbers and the fame and everything else that our society is now built upon (reddit is obvi included in this).

I've shot a bunch of sketches with my iPhone and the audio has sounded GREAT. Make sure you're in locations that are quiet (inside is best), and start shooting. Just accept that it will not be as good as you want and that's ok. The Ira Glass quote has always been one that sticks with me -

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

I would even amend this and say that there is ALWAYS a gap, because there is always a place you're striving towards, a place that your ever evolving taste is that your abilities are not just yet. That's awesome!

Have you ever had cyber sex?

yeah, a few times. It was never as great as I imagined it would be...but given the circumstances (being thousands of miles away from my boo), it was much better than nothing. The entire idea of sex through computers is so fascinating to me - like, technology makes it possible, but is that a good thing? I'm not sure...

I've found that it was pretty good but it requires a good imagination and decent writing prose. If you're a good enough writer, cyber's as good as anything as long as your partner's up to snuff too. The time it takes to respond and wait for responses back along with it just taking longer in general means that I find the experience quite like edging for a long while before getting off, so I've had really good experiences with it, some quite a lot better than being IRL with someone. But again, it's all pretty dependant upon who you have as a partner.

Very interesting to compare it to writing....I like that.

Well, it's pretty much exactly what you're doing except it's live and you have to know your audience well enough to navigate what they enjoy, figure out the words they don't like hearing, particularly for the naughty bits, and... yeah. It's basically like a live writing performance that you two are both taking part in.

EDIT: People upvoting... you know what I'm talkin' 'bout. ;)

*brain explodes*

I find your series quite intriguing and was wondering when it will be released

Hey there! The entire series is available here - www.distancetheseries.com - check it out!!

Definitely!

thanks so much! really appreciate that. Tell me what you think afterwards!

What is the very best cheese?

There are three main schools of thought here -

1. queso (the real kind you get in Austin TX and probably other places)
2. smoked gouda, my personal fav
3. 'love actually' (a true cheeseball of a film, but I love it)

Favorite queso in Austin?

I'm a Torchy's man, through and through. You?

How does cybersex even work? You masturbate to each other on skype?

yea exactly! Check out episode 2 of Distance and you can see for yourself. But yeah, you're basically turning each other on by turning yourselves on. A circular loop of magical turn ons. WHEN IT WORKS RIGHT. But mostly its awkward and funny and as long as youre both laughing about it, you're a-okay. Ultimately its just about connection with someone that you love, and maybe getting off in the process.

Episode 2: Awkward Cyber Sex in a Long Distance Relationship

Emily - https://youtu.be/N9PzUcZ-Dgg

Sam - https://youtu.be/w6qvXIpjf10

When you count on your fingers, where do you start from? Index, thumb or pinky?

A truly impressive question, dear human. Seriously. I just tried it and I start with my thumb. I would love to meet and learn from anyone who starts with their pinky.

Hey Alex, really cool stumbling across you in /r/all instead of through Facebook like I usually do.

Which social media is your favorite to use for your promotions?

heya! reveal thy first name dear facebook friend!

For Distance, its definitely instagram - the long distance community on there is AMAZING. Check out our page and see what I'm talking about - www.instagram.com/distancetheseries

Definitely will check it out. This is Billy, back from the Shaw's supermarket days haha!

WHOA OLD SCHOOL ! So cool ! Check out the show man, I think you'll dig it. You still in Mass?

Yeah man, working and still playing rugby in the Boston area. Ever throw the scrum cap on anymore?

na I had to get out of that game to protect my health and my nuts. How's that going???

Pretty excellent! Playing for the Northeast championship this weekend! Fortunately I've been pretty lucky health-wise. Love this little Reddit catch-up

hahaha who knew, Reddit - a place for personal connection.

Alex this looks really great!

I was in a very serious long-distance relationship until last year with a woman in Ireland. Watching this trailer gave me so many flashbacks of the things we would do to keep things interesting, and to continue to connect with one another.

Did you come from a long-distance relationship yourself? What inspired you to make what seems to be a faithful adaptation to what it's really like, and what was your biggest challenge while making this project come to life?

Thanks so much - seriously, that's so kind of you. Yes, I based the show on my own THREE YEAR long distance relationship. The inspiration was really everything you mention - how amazing it is that we can be in a long distance relationship because of technology, and how that technology also fundementally changes what it means to love another human being. That shit blows my mind!

The biggest challenge was making it feel like a real show given the minuscule budget we had - I owe all of that to our incredible talented team. Beyond that, the really cool challenge was with the two-perspective engine of the show. Figuring out how different to make the two sides, how to show perspective without it being cheesy but make it different enough that it never felt like a mistake. That was so much fun, and I can't wait to do more. Made me really question and evolve my understanding of what perspective even is, and what reality is... /r/whoadude indeed.

Follow-Up Questions!

1. Was there anything she said to you during the relationship that made you go "wow" in regards to how she experienced things? In my case, one day she texted me and said "I can't believe I'm looking at the same moon that you're looking at right now from halfway across the world." That is something that sticks with me about the difficulty of what we were doing, and just how small we all are in this big world.

2. As a musician, I'm finishing up my own album this year. I'm doing this for me, but it would be nice to hear from someone who's marketing his own project how to go about getting it out there for people to enjoy. Any tips or stories on the struggles of getting the word out about this thing that you've spent so much of your life doing?

Was there anything she said to you during the relationship that made you go "wow" in regards to how she experienced things? In my case, one day she texted me and said "I can't believe I'm looking at the same moon that you're looking at right now from halfway across the world." That is something that sticks with me about the difficulty of what we were doing, and just how small we all are in this big world.

Aw man that is beautiful - thank you for sharing. I was constantly amazed (and still am) at how differently we could perceive the same conversation, ESPECIALLY during text messages. She would write "k" and I would read that as "i hate you" when really it just means "okay". We learned a ton about how to communicate via text, and what tones mean what. It is all crazy fascinating. We also had a thing where we would write e-mails to each other every day - she'd write me one to wake up to and then I would read it and write her back so she had something to read when she got up. That was a really beautiful way to connect while apart.

As a musician, I'm finishing up my own album this year. I'm doing this for me, but it would be nice to hear from someone who's marketing his own project how to go about getting it out there for people to enjoy. Any tips or stories on the struggles of getting the word out about this thing that you've spent so much of your life doing?

Congrats! You've got one person ready to listen right here (me). I think its all about finding your audience. Think long and hard about who might enjoy your work. Be specific. And then reach out to them and other people like them. Marketing your own work is an end-game level of hell, for sure, so you gotta also detach from the work itself as best you can. When you're marketing it, think of it almost as someone else's project. I am genuinely happy to help you brainstorm more about this stuff - DM me a link to the album and let's brainstorm :)

I've been in a cross-country LDR for three years, I can't wait to watch this!

cool! Cant wait to hear what you think :)

Do you send nudes?

in my own long distance relationship, yes, I would, but not all that often - I don't think its really possible to make a penis, erect or otherwise, look at all attractive on a iphone screenshot.

iphone screenshot

Try Android. It can make it look 3x bigger if you use the right filter.

Try Android. It can make it look 3x bigger if you use the right filter.

Heading to android store brb

My boyfriend of six years and I were in a long distance relationship for 5/6 years. He just moved in. :) I cant wait to watch this with him. What was the hardest part for you in your LDR? Celebrating holidays without him was the hardest for me.

AWESOME! Please come back here and tell us what you think. Hardest part was not spending birthdays together - that sucked. But we're together now ! WOO!! How far was your distance? Congrats that you have closed it!

Do you pee in the shower?

yeah but plz don't tell my gf because she would not like that

my gf doesn't mind as long as she's not in the shower with me, I still do it though

dope.

What are you're familial/cultural backgrounds? Do you think the backgrounds people have make them act and go into long distance relationships differently? im from Eastern Europe and I've met a guy with your same name from Eastern Europe, and was just interested.

Whoaaaa I'm from there too! I was born in Odessa Ukraine and moved to the US when I was seven. I think that decision made by my parents to bring me to the US shapes every single part of me, both in relationships and in life. Where are you from?

One of my favorite scenes in the show is in Episode 3 on Sam's side where my Russian parents come over - they talk in Russian the entire time and I respond back in English, which is how it really was growing up - When you have 12 min, check it out - https://youtu.be/WgF2cyk_9Yk

We're practically neighbors, I'm from Sevastopol,Crimea and moved to the US at age 8, love the show btw since I've dealt with Long distance with girls from Russia.

WHAT!!! that's nuts man. Where did you move in the US? How did LDR with a lady from Russia go? Tell me more!

Been in a long distance relationship for 5 years. I'm curious what the inspiration was for the show and if there's a source material/adviser on the show. Is there? If not, can I be?

Cool! And yes, we would ALWAYS love more real world source material. The show is based on my own long distance relationship, and just about everyone on our team has been in a LDR. It's nuts how many people have been. How far is your distance? Any funny or interesting stories to share?

1000 miles, from Atlanta to Toronto. We've been together five years. We met online.

One funny story is that she was living with her parents when we first met up about 6 months in, and she didn't tell them I was in town. She wanted to make sure we were in-person compatible before they met me, so I stayed in a hotel. She had to make up a lie about staying at a friend's house while studying for finals so she could spend one night with me.

When we're apart, the sexual repression is so thick you can cut it with a knife. But then when we finally get to see each other, we mostly cuddle and nap together. That closeness is much more important than sex in many ways. One time I woke her up from her post-flight nap with fried chicken you can't get in Toronto, and she was ecstatic. By far the most excited she's ever been for a gift.

Right now, we're in the middle of the longest no-visit drought we've ever had (about six months). Saving money is difficult... But we try to make it easier by making care packages. Care packages are a huge part of LDRs.

I hope your show turns out great. Let me know if you have a ticket for me to visit set next time you're shooting. ;)

That closeness is much more important than sex in many ways.

This is so beautiful - I agree 100%.

Thank you for sharing your story - its so amazing. We'd love to feature it on our social media page if you'd like?

And thank you - you can definitely come on set and give us pointers for what we're getting wrong about the LDR haha.

I think you and your gf will really enjoy the first season - check it out here - and then let me know what you think.

Really interesting premise for a show, can’t wait to check it out! love the idea of split perspectives as a narrative tool; was it always your intention to have 2 different (and male&female) directors? Did you imagine it differently? Excited to see wether it adds or detracts from the cohesion of the relationship.

THANK YOU! We thought about how to make a show about a long distance relationship, about two people who are never together. And then we realized, since it would live online, we could create the two episode engine with two sides that highlighted how differently two people can see the same moment. Then we asked - how do we best represent these two perspectives, and then we decided to have two directors. Both of them - Jack and Carlyn - were incredible and brought such unique takes on the two characters and their lives which you'll see in terms of the style, how things are shot, the lighting, etc etc .

Very excited to hear what you think!

What’s your favorite Justin Bieber song?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g5Hz17C4is

I was in a long distance relationship for 6 years, one year of that being married, before we finally were able to close the gap for good. Three years in the same place (mostly) and I can’t help but believe it was completely worth it. The trailer alone got me a little emotional, haha. LDRs are so tough and focusing on the end goal really seems impossible. I always tell my friends who ask me ‘how’d you do it???’ We we’re both really dumb and really stubborn, lol

Were you inspired by Spike Jonze’s ‘Her’ at all in this process? That’s the only movie I’ve seen that captured the strange technological pining and bizarre sexuality that LDRs create.

We we’re both really dumb and really stubborn, lol

THIS 100 TIMES THIS. I have always said that it takes a special kind of idiot to be in a LDR. They really do not make any logical sense. BUT NEITHER DOES LOVE. That's so cool that yours ended so well.

Its so funny you bring up Her - I have been thinking about rewatching that on several occasions recently. It wasn't a direct inspiration though for this, that was more shows like High Maintenance (because of how it elevated the web series form), Transparent and Togetherness in terms of tone, and The Affair in terms of how they did the dual perspective thing.

Oh man, this is insanely relevant to some shit I've been through. Very creative project, sounds awesome! Just sent it to the person I went through this with, who's now one of my best friends. Super interested to see how much what you portray here overlaps with what we went through.

I've read a few of your responses, but not all, so apologies if I ask anything that's been covered.

In your three year long-distance relationship (similar length here), what's the one time that you wished you could be there the most? Why?

How were you and your long-distance partner able to affect each-other's physical lives? Sending gifts, occasional visits, letters?

What was the end result of your relationship? What's your relationship like with that person now?

What was the hardest moment in the relationship? You can be as vague as you want, if it's some super personal shit.

What steps did the two of you take to try to find some normalcy in the relationship?

That's all I've got for now, may have some follow-ups. Thanks!

EDIT: Wait! One more! I've got an idea for a way to watch the series that your cutting the episodes up allows for. I think watching all of the guy's episodes first, likely finding a lot that I can relate to, and then watching through the lady's episodes to see what the full story was might be interesting and helpful in gaining some perspective. Even with you cutting the episodes up, I can't imagine this is an intended way to watch. Do you feel like I'd be missing out on the full experience by not taking it one episode, both halves, at a time?

AWESOME! Thank you so much! Can't wait to hear what you think about the show :) Sounds like you and your partner are no longer together but are best friends? That's so cool.

In your three year long-distance relationship (similar length here), what's the one time that you wished you could be there the most? Why?

When she was going through a really tough time...I wanted to be there and hug her. Also during our birthdays. I surprised her on her birthday and was in her room when she came home. That was awesome.

How were you and your long-distance partner able to affect each-other's physical lives? Sending gifts, occasional visits, letters?

We sent emails every day to each other for the first year or so - that was awesome. We could visit about once a month. We had a CHEAT CODE which was that her mom was a flight attendant, so we could fly for free on standby. That made it super possible. And then she lived with me one summer.

What was the end result of your relationship? What's your relationship like with that person now?

We are still together! Lauren and I live together in LA with our dog and we made the show together (she is not the main actress - that's our best pal Ashley Spillers).

What was the hardest moment in the relationship? You can be as vague as you want, if it's some super personal shit.

There were points where we felt incredibly disconnected and were on the verge of breaking up. It was just all too hard. But we persevered. And we decided to 'take a break' for a few days - not talk to each other and see what happened. That experience helped us both understand how much we wanted to be in the relationship.

What steps did the two of you take to try to find some normalcy in the relationship?

The main thing we did that helped was treat our visits as NORMAL. Not make them special at all. That was so useful. Because it meant we didn't have any expectations and then everything was awesome. Lauren and I were interviewed here on Bustle where we gave a ton more tips - https://www.bustle.com/p/what-nobody-tells-you-about-being-in-a-long-distance-relationship-8899033.

Thanks for the response! Fuckin, congrats on the relationship working out, that's amazing! And that she made the show with you, so cool.

Sounds like you and your partner are no longer together but are best friends? That's so cool.

Yeah, things were just too hard for too long on the both of us. Both entering new phases in our lives, and neither of us mentally stable enough to deal with the frustrations of long-distance in a healthy way. So we dropped all that shit, all expectations of anything, any pretense. We love the shit out of each-other as people, it was never gonna be a normal break-up.

Also, flight attendant mom sounds like a goddamned lifesaver. Neither of us had (or have) a bunch of money, so visits have been few and far between. And also not normal. I mean, it feels normal when we're just hanging out, totally comfortable with each-other and all, but we make plans to take advantage of the situation.

When she was going through a really tough time...I wanted to be there and hug her.

Fuck yeah. Can heavily relate.

Also during our birthdays. I surprised her on her birthday and was in her room when she came home. That was awesome.

Dammit, I wish I was fly enough to have set that up without her finding out!

Also, had another question hit me right as I posted, and feared you might not see the edit in time. I was right all along, dammit.

Here it is-

" EDIT: Wait! One more! I've got an idea for a way to watch the series that your cutting the episodes up allows for. I think watching all of the guy's episodes first, likely finding a lot that I can relate to, and then watching through the lady's episodes to see what the full story was might be interesting and helpful in gaining some perspective. Even with you cutting the episodes up, I can't imagine this is an intended way to watch. Do you feel like I'd be missing out on the full experience by not taking it one episode, both halves, at a time? "

EDIT: From the interview - " For example, he used to get anxious when Wilde texted him "K," instead of "OK," thinking she must be mad at him." Fuckin vietnam-style flashbacks

Fuckin vietnam-style flashbacks

hahahaha god man, so so so true. We actually made some little flyer posters about this - I'll send them to you soon!

Ha! Please do. It's rare to see this talked about so openly. I appreciate the hell out of you and your partner realizing the potential for this concept, it's great hearing about someone else's experience. This show's gonna make me feel weird, can't wait.

"This show's gonna make me feel weird" - gonna put that on the poster.

EDIT: Wait! One more! I've got an idea for a way to watch the series that your cutting the episodes up allows for. I think watching all of the guy's episodes first, likely finding a lot that I can relate to, and then watching through the lady's episodes to see what the full story was might be interesting and helpful in gaining some perspective. Even with you cutting the episodes up, I can't imagine this is an intended way to watch. Do you feel like I'd be missing out on the full experience by not taking it one episode, both halves, at a time?

WHOA I really love this idea - I think you should try it for the first few episodes and see how it feels. Wanna do that and then tell me how it goes? I'm SO curious about how that goes for you. People have said that they've done that and really enjoyed it, so yes, give it a shot!

Awesome, that's how I'll do it. No "first few episodes" though, I'm goin all-in. I'll let you know for sure! Probably gonna watch tonight

I AM GOING ALL IN FUCK YES!!! Can't wait to hear how it goes - please report back :)

My wife and I are long distance sometimes so we'll definitely have to check this out!!

Are you casting season two? Do you need a big beardy guy?

Welcome to the cast. You'll be playing Carl, the craft brewery employee with wisdom for days.

seriously tho thanks for the <3 - definitely check it out, I think anyone in a LDR (as they call it in the biz) will really connect.

Haha sweet! And here I was just hoping for an audition!

we shoot for 6 months in Alaska. You'll have to pay for your airfare, lodging, and pay us $5k - cool?

Hahaha yeah send me the dates and some paperwork this sounds like an opportunity I can't miss

hahah plz first send $ via venmo at "thisisnotascampromise" will send further details from there.

Hmmmm... This doesn't seem fishy at all

you can also pay in fish.

Will there be more episodes? I just binged it. After being in multiple LDRs its crazy how hard this hits close to home. I love how it kind of ends in the unknown, super realistic. Fantastic job I loved every minute. Keep doing what you are doing!

thank you so so so much, that means a ton. Really really appreciate it <3

Yes, we'll definitely have more episodes. To stay up to date, sign up on the email list on our website or DM me your e-mail and I'll add you.

My partner and I were both in jail. I'm out after 16 month and he still has until November 2020 to go. On release he'll be deported to canada while I live now in Norway. So not only are we doing long distance but our communication is very limited yet through all of our separation we are still totally connected and have even attempted very coded phone sex, it made us laugh more then anything... And we created a piece of art together while in two separate prisons. I'm definitely very interested in your show!! Would you like me to send you a picture of our piece of art? Maybe some of our story could be relevant to your show?

oh my god - that story is absolutely insane and beautiful. I would be honored if you could share your art - can you DM it to me? I would love to check it out and feature you on our social media and talk more - thank you so much for sharing.

You're welcome, actually I'm going to write a book about us and what we've been through, there's so much more tell. I'll DM soon.

wow. I would love to help you however you need - seriously. Looking forward to seeing the art - thank you for sharing.

My SO and I have been together for 13 years and half of it has been LDR.

We lived in the same town for 3 years, went to different universities in the same state for 3 years, lived in different states for 3 years, finally moved in and lived together for 3 years, and now I’ve been living/working on the other side of the world with a 14 hour time difference.

In the midst of all this we got married last year and I will finally return home next year. It’s been a wild ride and don’t recommend it to anyone but we’ve somehow become pros at the whole LDR thing.

I’m really looking forward to watching your series!!

My question is, did you and your GF ever play video games online to spend time together? My SO and I try to play together every weekend!

WOW HOLY COW THAT IS AN INSANE STORY. Can we feature it on our social media? Seriously, kudos to you both, I don't think I've heard of a more gnarly and long LDR...especially ending up across the world - that's nuts. Congrats that y'all made it work.

Lauren and I were not real big gamers, but we did try to do crosswords together and sometimes play Words With Friends and other games on our phones. What games do you and your SO play??

Sure, we’d be more than happy for you to share it! Feel free to PM me if you’d like more details.

My Saturday and Sunday mornings are my SO’s Friday and Saturday nights so that’s our only chance to relax and play together. We mostly play Overwatch together or with friends but sometimes we’ll try other things like VRchat or Rocket League.

PMing you now!

So dope about the gaming...I gotta get up on this whole overwatch thing...

Funniest thing how I bumped into this - my wife (and mother of our little dude) and I met online while living in two separate different countries...separate by a freakin ocean. I’d LOVE to talk to you guys, hell even collaborate if needed. Anyways if not, kudos, this is amazing!!!!!

Anyways, what was the insight for this story? There is so many ways to approach it without being cliche and you kinda nailed them (still trying to watch the whole show).

THANK YOU!! Yes, let's talk!! And collab :) Tell me more about your LDR :)

We based this one on my own real long distance relationship, and just about everyone on our writing team has been in an LDR before, so that was huge. So cool to hear that it feels real - thank you .

can you play fortnite with me?

ok

How involved were you in the day to day production of the series?

Were there any unforeseen difficulties of tying two different perspectives together?

Any funny moments that happened during production we might not see on screen?

How involved were you in the day to day production of the series?

I was INTENSELY involved, haha. Beyond the acting and writing and producing of the show, I had to wear about 10 different hats because of how indie our production was. For example, I was our DIT, which is basically the person who makes sure the footage on the cards makes its way onto multiple hard drives so that we don't lose anything we shot. So I would go home every night and do all the 'dumping' as we call it. That was terrifying.

In addition, we shot half of the show at my house, which meant that my and my girlfriend's room became the my character's room. The character - Sam - is a struggling photographer, which meant he had a real shitty bed that broke all the time. My girlfriend, dog and I all had to sleep on that bed every night :/ That was probably the least fun part...

Were there any unforeseen difficulties of tying two different perspectives together?

FOR SURE - that was definitely one of the most exciting and difficult parts of the entire process - writing, shooting, and editing. We had two directors with their own ideas of how each scene should go, but we had to make sure that things didn't stray too much on either side, otherwise audiences would watch and go 'wtf, what actually happened??' The entire experience did raise some super interesting philosophical questions about subjectivity and perspective and basically led me to believe that there really is no such thing as objective experience - we all have our own version of what happened, and those versions can never - and will never - be the same from one another's...what a trip huh?

Any funny moments that happened during production we might not see on screen?

We improvised so much and had to leave about 70% of the gold on the cutting room floor. My girlfriend Lauren was our on set producer and, because of that, also wore 100 different hats including cooking all of our food. On our third day, she was making lasagna at our house and then rushing it over to set. When she arrived and was grabbing it to run it into the house, it fell everywhere. That was a funny moment, but only after the shoot :) Here's a photo of that moment --

https://www.instagram.com/p/BVnhtc7BiTn/?taken-by=alexdobrenko

What was the biggest challenge for you during the making of the series?

Making about 2 hours of content in 12 days. We were run and gun. It was crazy. I'm glad we did it though - it was one of the craziest experiences of my life.

Whoa~ so what kind of adjustments did you have to do to achieve that?

And if I may ask another question... my boyfriend is about to leave for a lab internship at a hospital miles away in two months. I've never had a long-distance relationship before and the same goes with him. Could we please get some advice from someone who has had firsthand experience on this?

we had to all wear lots of hats, and be okay with things not being perfect. Embrace it!

Advice, YES - Bustle interviewed my girlfriend and I and we gave lots of tips - check out this article and then let me know if you have any questions - https://www.bustle.com/p/what-nobody-tells-you-about-being-in-a-long-distance-relationship-8899033.

Also check out the show - you'll learn a lot and I think you'll enjoy it

Would you like to have awkward cybersex?

its the only cyber sex I have. If you can get my gf to say she's in, then yes, let's do it.

Maybe it's my monitor, but the entire thing looks underexposed to me? Might want to bump it up a bit in post?

interesting...are you watching a specific episode or the trailer?

The trailer and the 12 min clip you posted.

The Sam side is definitely darker, but we haven't really had issues with it - I'll take another look though - thanks!

what was your nick name in high school?

Dobrenkz maybe? My nickname that I love now is "Sash" which is short for Sasha, which is my actual first name that I was given at birth. We changed it when we moved to America because the dude at the border said we should and we weren't about to argue with the bro standing between us and all this freedom and french fries.

What is the one thing that will keep me interested in this series?

The two perspectives, and you choosing which side to watch first for each episode. It becomes a pretty sweet "choose your own adventure" style of show but without ever having that feel hokey or like a gimmick.

Plus there's some fun, realistic sex - both cyber and otherwise - that you might enjoy.

More than all that - its realistic, and feels true. I'm proud of it. I hope you dig it.

As someone whose been in a long distance relationship for years, how’d you guys meet in the show and is that what kept you guys going together for so long?

Thanks for writing! How far is your distance? Do you have plans to close it?

Do you mean the characters in the show? They met when Sam was working on a photography gig in LA where Emily lives. He then left and they started Distance.

My girlfriend and I (I based the show on our relationship) met on a film set. We were working on a TRUE CLASSIC THAT WON ALL THE OSCARS - Bloody Homecoming. Jk its a pretty terrible movie but kinda awesome too. Here's the trailer.

I was acting in it (my first acting role) and Lauren was doing the makeup. We hit it off hardcore and then when it ended, she was set to go back to NC for grad school. I asked if she wanted to stay another week. She did, and neither of us wanted it to end, so we said "let's just see where this goes." Almost eight years later here we are, living together and making a show about our relationship :) I love that girl with all my heart.

She’s in Calgary and I’m East Coast so it’s far enough we gotta deal with the time zones. We both bonded by playing games together and at the end of this year she’s moving in. Always thought it would be cool to try to do long distance couples double dates to see how other people cope with that stuff. Congrats on your success!

LONG DISTANCE COUPLE DATES IS GENIUS!!!!

Congrats on her moving, that's awesome. Check out the show - I think you and her would both really like it.

My marriage and two children are a result (product?) of a long distance relationship. I’m interested to watch this.

Do you learn anything about your girlfriend doing this project you did not know while you were in the long distance aspect?

SO COOL - that's awesome! So my real life girlfriend (Lauren) and I made the show about our long distance relationship. But Lauren wasn't the actress in the show, that was Ashley Spillers - she's incredible, has been in Vice Principals and a whole lotta other stuff.

The main thing I learned about Lauren is how hard it is when both people in a relationship are struggling and need the support of the other person. We were both so SWAMPED during Distance that it was really hard to take care of one another, so it actually proved to be a super difficult time for us as a couple. So we learned how to take care of each other even in those times, and how to give each other the space we need. Making a show like this is like giving birth to a child. Except it came out of our collective soul-wombs, and now its out for the whole world to see.

Yeah man, long distance sucked. It almost wrecked us. We were separated by about 800 miles for over a year and a half. So when she moved it was great but kind of a shock because we didn’t know how to handle not only GETTING to see each other every day, but HAVING to see each other every day.

Was there anything in the past (during long-distance) that you learned later (like post long-distance) that came up as a result of this project? For example, I found out my wife’s porn preferences from before we moved in together LONG after we got married. It’s like, man I wish I’d k own that six years ago, shit. (That was my real question, sorry for the lack of clarity.)

haha god man, I feel like I learned so much about Lauren and I's relationship that we never would have learned if we were close together for the first three years. I think the main thing we both learned was how messy we were and how much that bothered us when we shared the same space. Like it was fine during visits, but then actually living together I was like GOD WHY IS THERE STUFF EVERYWHERE. Which then morphed into a really existential conversation of "why am i okay with my own shit on the floor but not hers?" After some therapy I realized it was - and is - all about control. The more I gave that up, the better everything got.

Right on, I know what you mean 100% And some people say you should get married before you move in with someone! Good on them, but I’m glad we didn’t wait.

TOTALLY - how long were you together and in the same place before marriage?

How do you feel about the band Radiohead and can you say "Irish wristwatch" out loud without messing up (at a normal speed)?

I really like radiohead but i'm not one of those ppl who IS OBSESSED like a lot of my friends. I wanna listen to more.

I failed saying 'irish wristwatch'

Alex! I binged the series this weekend and I was so impressed! I knew you a little back in ATX and I'm so glad to see you doing well and making this project go!

Are there plans for a season 2? If so, would you follow Sam and Emily through the next phase of their LDR or introduce a new couple?

hey there!! Who are you?? Yes, we definitely have plans for a season two! The plan will be to stick with Sam and Emily, even if they dun dun dun, aren't together :)

Congrats on being the first person to use the term "cybersex" since 1998.

Do you prefer icq, AOL IM or IRC for your wanking needs?

dang I think you're right...what do people call it now? digisex? interfuck? I DO NOT KNOW.

And for my wanking needs I, no joke, now prefer to use erotica. It's sexy and doesn't make me feel terrible about myself afterwards.

Why?

Cuz.

A/S/L? :D

18/would love to for the first time / my anxious brain

FOR REAL - 30 / male / los angeles

How does one go about pitching a tv series?

got rich parents or family in hollywood? otherwise I would say make something you can show. Its easier for people to see a 3-5 min video than read a script. What's your idea? wanna pitch me?

I always have awesome ideas for movies or tv shows. Are there really ways of just being the person to come up with stories and make money or that be a job? Like pitching ideas to studios or networks?

that's great! And yes, that's definitely a job but one that involves a whole mountain of real hard, difficult work. And then I think you'll probably want to make the show too, which is where the real fun (INCREDIBLY HARD WORK) comes in.

This show sounds amazing! When/how did you think of the concept of this show?

THANK YOU! So nice of you to say. I thought of it when I started thinking about making a show based on my own long distance relationship. And fairly soon in the process of creating the show we realized that the best way to tell a story about two people who did not live in the same place was to show both of their perspectives separately, which meant two sides to each episode. Because we knew the show would live online, that meant we could create the "two perspective" engine. Then having the two directors and all the other decisions came pretty naturally.

So glad you dig the concept - let me know what you think once you watch it

Hi! I probably missed my window but I LOVED your performance as Hoji in Shadow Warrior! That game gave me so many laughs and made me smile and I'm still devastated by that ending. How did you feel about working on the game? Did you enjoy the character?

i was devastated too! I wanted to come and do the sequel so so bad. Ya know, I had such a good time making that show. nicest team, and best of all they let us all record together, which is a near never experience in video games (usually it’s one actor at a time in the booth). On this they wanted to make sure the acting and performances were as strong as possible. All in all it was amazing

ALEX! (worthy pro-magister)

What would you say were the key differences in creating Arlo and Julie vs. Distance?

OH SHIT TAKIN IT BACK TO THE OLD SCHOOL. Waddup dude! Arlo and Julie I was an actor, so it was a lot more fun and stress free haha. Distance I did everything - raised the money, produced it, wrote it, and acted - so it was as much more fulfilling as it was terrifying. I'm super grateful for the experience though, and want to do it more. Being a "showrunner" is really fun and weird and something I wanna do more of.

Hi Alex, i've been in a LDR for 4 years now, and i'm curious so i'm definitely gonna give it a view! The trailer is funny!

Are you inspired by being in a LDR yourself? It is hard, heh :P

Heya - thanks so much for the <3 - APPRECIATE IT SO SO MUCH.

Yes, the show was based on my own long distance relationship - we did three years between Austin and North Carolina. Me and Lauren were actually interviewed by Bustle the magazine where we gave a ton of tips for how to best survive an LDR, check it out https://www.bustle.com/p/what-nobody-tells-you-about-being-in-a-long-distance-relationship-8899033.

Do you like pizza?

yeah. but i can't eat too much of it or I'll get fat. I have a weird relationship with food. Do you like pizza?

Have you or your gf ever felt bothered by government surveillance during cybersex? Or that pictures etc will get leaked somehow.

I don't feel bothered, no. I think those govt guys need a little fun, and I am happy to provide.

Whats it like to have cyber sex? Is it worth it if you're in a long distance relationship?

That is really only something you can decide with your partner. There were certain months where I felt like me and my gf really needed it, but she just wasn't all that into it, so we didn't do it. And other times where we both wanted to do it. Get creative - make it a conversation. Write erotica to one another, text each other sexy stuff. Whatever it is that you need.

What is it like? Its just like any other sex, when you think about it - its about connection. And I do believe that with the right attitude, you can find that connection through a screen. Love is weird man.

How to get a gf ?

go on...

H O W

be nice and be yourself. Listen. Forget about yourself and focus on other people. And have patience.

ASL?

30 / all the time / ur heart

30 / male / los angeles

Do you feel like you're contributing to society's moral decay?

Mainly I feel like I contributed to society's collective tooth decay because I kept forgetting to brush my teeth during the shoot. And also after the shoot. And also this morning.

Do you have to do an AMA as per corporate network standards?

Yeah, the corporate warlords over at Distance LLC told me that if I didn't do one, I'd be killed.

I WISH we had a corporate network to boss us around, or do I? We're an indie outfit, all alone in this grand big world of "content" (i hate that word). I love reddit and figured that some people on here would be interested in the show and my experience making it, so here I am :)

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had to look up what that was and I gotta say, not cool. Not cool at all. Spending time to make fun of people and their opinions doesn't really seem all that sweet, in my opinion. <3