I just got out of prison a year ago after doing 11 1/2 years for attempted murder. I was 17 years old when I was arrested (Senior in HS) and now I’m 30. AMA!

Do you consider yourself to be a much different person now?

Absolutely. I was a sick, selfish, monster of a kid. I said in another comment if I knew how to get a gun, I probably would have shot up my school. Ive done a lot of soul searching and changing in my life. Trust me, with a life sentence, they didn't have to let me out, but I proved how I'm not that angry kid anymore

What are the biggest changes you see around you from when you went in?

Definitely the disconnect with other people. How isolated people are from one another. Its kinda weird

Prison food on a scale of 1-10. How was it?

Definitely a 2. the only good days were holidays. We actually got special meals for Christmas, Thanksgiving, 4th of July

Did you have coffee cakes for sat morning?

Hahaha! Yes! SOS too, which was actually really good lol

I know I am late to this, but, as a Corrections Officer, how can I do my job better?

I find that there is a huge grey area in dealing with inmates, in that you need to provide a fair and consistent environment while maintaining the security of the facility.

Obviously, being the "corrupt" person you mentioned is not a viable option. There is a certain level of respect that needs to be had from staff and inmates. Personally, I try to treat the facility as the home and community of the inmate population.

Are their any ways you can think of that could make an inmate's life easier, there by making my job easier? I ask, not out of being lazy, but more so out of the safety for myself and other staff. I feel that by making an inmate less stressed, he is less likely to assault another inmate or a staff member.

Even as little as saying “How are you doing?” goes a long way. I had always wanted to feel human, and a couple of CO’s treated me as such. Talk about sports, books, life etc. I understand the CO’s fine line of being both professional and also personable. Most of us want to use the voice that they feel hasn’t been heard. Find a connection with someone and make their day. Even when I’m on the bus or something I would love to say hi or good morning to more people, but almost everyone had headphones on or are glued to their phone, but I try. Probably the best advice I have. You can DM me if you’d like

Did you get an education in prison? what did you do with all of your free time?

I did! Graduated HS, went to college, learned 3 trades, trained dogs. I worked out (typical right?!) watched movies, play sports, read, worked. Prison isn't as horrible as you might think. It's still bad and I will never go back, but it wasn't too bad. I had ample opportunity to change and took advantage of that

Wait, you get college paid for in prison? What?!

I learned how to weld, Fiber Optic Cabling systems, Accounting, all free. I couldn't believe it either man

Do you have any interest in applying those skills to employment?

Not currently. I also trained service dogs in there, and I work for that organization now. Definitely a dream job!

Student loans? Jeeze i feel like i made some bad good decisions in life.

Haha, no student loans. All of it was paid for by your taxes. How you feel about that I don't know, but I didn't waste that chance

I'm glad my dollars paid for you to fix yourself, if only my taxes could pay for kids to fix their lives BEFORE they go to jail.

100% agree!!

Just wanted to say it is refreshing to read a negative turn into a positive story. Keep your head up!

Are you in a relationship now?

Thanks! I have been since I've been out, but it really didn't work out. Not really because of my past, because she knew about it, we were just going in different directions. Lasted about 5 months

What do you plan to do with your life going forward?

I'm actually a dog trainer for a non profit. They had a program in one of the prisons I went to that trained dogs to be service animals. I now work for that organization. Best experience of my life, and I'm able to make amends and actually help people, hopefully use the rest of my life and freedom to change peoples lives for the better

https://youtu.be/AhOuSuJ9_R8

Here is a story on us. Miss those dogs man 😫

Btw, some news came in and did a couple stories on us. This is one of them. I wasn’t interviewed for this particular station, but I’m in the video. Miss those dogs man 😫 https://youtu.be/AhOuSuJ9_R8

Congrats on your release. It sounds like you’ve made some impressive life changes. I’ve read your comments and am shocked to hear the details of your crime. I’m curious how you got into that state of mind to be so angry as to want to hurt people. We’ve all been through the trials and tribulations of being a teen and agree that’s it’s a rough age but was wondering how you went from angry teen to “violent criminal”? Thanks!

To me it was years of pent up rage from bullying, abuse at home, no known way for me to let go of that, and finally exploding. I didn't have the proper coping skills to deal with that. When I made the decision to try to kill her, and this will sound weird, I felt relieved. I had meant to commit suicide as well, but it didn't get that far

I’m so sorry you went through all that at such a young age. You seem so much better adjusted now. During your sentence, we’re you given the proper tools to cope or is your current state the result of years of reflection?

Both really. A great mix of people who supported me from the outside (family, friends), staff members who actually gave a damn. I was able to take classes, read books, and had the time to actually absorb and learn. There's the saying, "You can lead a horse to water but can't make him drink" and that definitely applies. If I wanted to, I could have stayed in there and just rotted the rest of my life and did nothing. I could have had free meals, watch tv all day, no rent, utilities, no worries right?! But that is no way to live, at least not for me

Congratulations on your release. What was the first thing you did when you got released?

Also, how crazy are cell phones now in comparison to the green screen nokias in 2005.

The only game I had on my phone in 2005 was Snake II. Now I can learn a language, produce music, whole world in my hands. But mostly I just watch porn and look at memes lol. I got used to the free world fast!

Do you feel as if you were treated fairly?

Absolutely! At the time I didn’t think so. I was sentenced to a life sentence, but got approved for parole just last year. I made all the excuses you could, but in the end it was all me. Again, I was 17 and was a very psycho, fucked up kid. If I knew how to get a gun I probably would have shot up my school, that’s how fucked up I was.

What have you been diagnosed with, if anything? Any medications?

I was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder, took anti depressants for 3 years

Do you think society has changed much after a decade?

Yes! I was arrested in 2005, so it wasn't too bad technology wise, but it was so weird coming out here and walking down the street and not have one person looking up lol! There is definitely less personal connection than before

Are you keeping in touch with anyone you met in prison? Are there people you met inside who you think should be released as well?

I do! I have a couple of friends who are out that I keep in touch with. There are a couple of people inside as well. I trained dogs in there, so I keep in touch with the guys that are also in the training program, send the dogs food, dog treats, toys

What’s your background story? Drugs, broken home, mental disorders? What made you become that kid that would shoot up your school if given the chance? Were you the weird kid or was this kinda out of no where type of shocking news to everyone around you type of thing? Sorry for all the invasive questions I’m just interested in the leading up to this cant handle rejection moment leading to attempted murder.

To be kinda quick about it, my dad was very abusive. He would beat the fuck out of my mother and us. I was severely overweight my entire life, had no friends at all. I stayed in my room and played video games nearly every day. Therapy wasn't an option, because men don't go to therapy. I had this intense rage built up for so long that it kinda exploded. Btw, I'm not blaming them, because plenty of people have grown up with those same problems. I made a choice and I had to own that

How easy was it for you or other inmates to “smuggle” stuff in? Any specific stories where someone was caught?

Very easy. Cell phones, heroin, whatever you want you got it. Guards, nurses, you just got to find the right person to bring it. You could bring in some cheap ass $50 Walmart phone in and sell it to an inmate for $500-$1000. I could understand why it happens so often. It happens so much its not even an event

How would inmates keep them charged up? I'd imagine electrical outlets would be scarce.

Cells have plenty of outlets. Plus we get power strips so no big deal

This is a crazy question... The day you were released, did you get car sick driving/riding to your home?

CRAZY!!! Haha no, didn't have time to think about it really. I was just so happy to be out and free with my family. I had to go over the Bay Bridge to come to San Francisco, and that was kinda weird, but other than that no

How was life in prison all that time? In movies and such we hear people talk about getting raped inside prison. Did that happen to you? How is life now that you have been given freedom again?

Haha, never got raped. It actually doesn't happen almost at all, at least from the prisons I went to. There was definitely consensual things going on. Riots happen, fights happen, stabbings happen, but not really rape. I was very lucky to avoid those things though. Really lucky. Life is good man. I definitely took freedom for granted.

Why lucky? Even a guy who keeps his head down is in danger or is it just unavoidable if you are social in the slightest?

Well, you can always get caught up in danger, even if you stay in your cell all day. Im mexican, so if there were problems with the black guys and the mexicans, the black guys don't give a shit if you're not with the gangs. You're brown, you get attacked on sight

Since you weren't a part of the gangs, how did you know when you had to watch out for that kind of thing? Did you have to fall in with those guys at all for protection, or even just getting a heads up that shit could start?

Oh you know when shit’s gonna go down! You can feel it man. And when it does it’s such a surreal experience. Yeah, you kinda have to be a part of some group. Luckily I worked for the Captain at most places I went, so I wasn’t needed for violence. I was used to get rid of write ups for infractions, shit like that

Did you get/were you offered any sort of help, guidance or counselling? Whether for what got you in there, or to give you a better chance in the free world in the event of getting released?

I did! I had a ton of mentors, mostly staff members who helped me find books to read, classes to take, how to do my taxes etc. When you come in at 17-18, people are more inclined to help you and take you under their wing. I still talk to the people that helped me

I had to re-read that to see the 'mostly staff members' bit. That genuinely made me happy. The common (at least in my world) perception is that jail in the US (assuming that's where you are?) is a bit of a black hole with little to no thought put into rehabilitation, treatment, education etc.

That probably leads to my next question, which is what type of prison were you in? Publicly run, size, security etc.

Also, thanks for opening up to answer these!

I was at High Desert State prison, Folsom, San Quentin, Solano, And a new prison that opened a couple years ago called California Health Care Facility. High Desert was the highest security you could go. Folsom was kinda rocking. San Quentin was actually kinda cool! Lol, at least it was historic, not cool haha

You've said you regret your actions, and I believe you, but do you believe you can make up for the repercussions they had for your victim? I don't mean this to come off as judgemental

No worries! I can't make up for what I did to her at all man. It is something that she will unfortunately live with the rest of her life. Its a horrible burden I put on her

Can you post an article about the case so that I can go over the basic facts?

I really don’t want to have my name out there, but basically I was obsessed with a girl from school. Like psycho obsessed, and when I finally developed the courage to ask her out, she said no. I fucking snapped and went to her house in a kinda hostage situation and stabbed her. Horrible shit man. I have horrible remorse for it. She is “ok” in that she is alive and well, but what I did to her will last forever

Will you talk to her again?

Never. One, because I don't want to, but two, even if I did, I have a life time protection order against contact so it would be illegal for me to do it, and no way in hell am I going back

Hello. I am very curious as to what things you learned in prison that wouldn't have been possible to learn outside? Did anything get easier on the inside?

The things I learned inside could be learned out here, I just didn't have the usual distractions to the learning process. I had ample time to read and go to school and do homework. As for as the intangibles, I would say learning that even with how horrible some of the people's crimes were in there, they are still human beings, and its easy to just throw them away. There is some reasons people did what they did, whether its murder, rape, burglary etc. but if you can't save them, you can learn from them and hopefully save someone else before they turn into that person. Kinda of an example maybe. People say if you could go back and kill baby Hitler, would you, and the answer is always Yes!! But what if you went back and taught him how to be human and actually try to do good in the world? I don't know if that makes sense

What reasonable change should occur in the justice/prison system in your experience?

Incentivize education. Get your degree, get a year off your sentence. Learn a trade, get 6 months off. That's an immediate fix. Long term, there are guys in there with possession of substances that have like 30 years, and really have no reason to be in there

Does everyone just jerk off and not talk about it? Is it taboo to jerk off?

As long as your cell mate is gone (or if you’re into that he could be there too lol) you’re fine

What's been the hardest to adapt to? You missed Obama, smartphones, Osama dead. How do you catch up and does it make you feel a certain way?

I didn't miss any of those. I had a tv so I got to watch the debates, see Osama coverage. When Barack Obama was elected I was at Folsom, and the entire prison went fucking crazy!! Crazy as in happy, not racist crazy lol

Btw do inmates have the right to vote? I'm from Finland and here they are allowed to vote, but I don't know about USA.

No. At least not here in California. I can vote again once I’m off parole

How is your relationship with your family now?

It's a whole lot better. I think this really woke them up, sobered them up. I am very open with them now, and we rely on each other, where as before we were all in these bubbles, living our own separate lives

Prison guards are portrayed as uneducated bruisers and corrupt. What was your experience with them?

There are always bad cops, but in general they reflect what is shown them, in my experience. I never get harassed or anything because I would say good morning or shit like that. It's not personal to them, its a job. For the most part its a leave me alone and I'll leave you alone kinda thing

I’m not sure if you will see this question still, but my Uncle is being released in 18 days after being incarcerated for 28 years. He’s a changed man. What is the best way to welcome him to being around family without overwhelming him at the same time? I can’t wait to have him over for dinner for a home cooked meal, but I’m scared It might be too much right away. And Christmas, I’d love for him to be with us but he hasn’t interacted with people who care for almost 3 decades ya know. Is there gifts I can buy him that would be useful for his needs? I know this AMA is over, just taking a shot at it. Thanks you!

DM me

What are some of the major flaws and successes of the prison system that you've noticed from the inside?

Biggest flaws for sure is the lack of oversight for staff. They say prisoners smuggle contraband in, but 99% of the stuff comes from the staff. Success I think is that now people like me are starting to get chances to change. There was a lock em up throw away the key mentality, and that wasn't working

So reading through your AMA, and coming across you explaining yourself as a youth, I couldn't help think about this article I recently read. It was a viewpoint I hadn't really thought of myself. If you have a few spare minutes to read it, I'd be interested in your thoughts. I guess it's an AMA, so.. Do you have time to read what I find to be an interesting article?

Ps - congrats on getting out, and I love your outlook!

https://byrslf.co/thoughts-on-the-vegas-shooting-14af397cee2c

I will read it! Thanks! It's really tough to say these things without 1) sounding like you're trying to be a victim 2) that you're blaming your actions on someone/something else and not taking responsibility. We just try to explain our feelings and thought processes at that time, and why you think you got that way

How public was your case?

Did everyone at your school know, any contact with people from your past life?

How hard was it to get a job? I here it is pretty hard. Did your prison help you at all with the process, I'm sure your education helped a bunch.

People absolutely knew at my school. We both went to the same school, and I committed my crime in March, so she had to go back to school. I have contact with people, even people that know her, and it isn't as strange as you'd think. It wasn't too difficult to get a job. If you are able to articulate yourself well and actually are sincere in what you believe and what you now stand for, people will see that. My boss knows about my past, and he is awesome. Its pretty easy to do the right thing when you have someone believe in you

I'm curious what your opinion is on what prisons could do to better rehabilitate people in preparation for release? You seem to have your plans lined up but many that are released are aimless or just wind up incarcerated again.

I think people have opportunity to prepare, but you have to want to. Some gang member in for 3 years doesn't give a shit about getting his degree. That being said, they really don't have incentive to take advantage of those things. Maybe if there was a merit system, like if you get your HS diploma you can get 6 months or something like that off your sentence that might help, but tbh for the most part there are opportunities in there

Hi /u/kingbrunoIII, I've wanted to ask someone in the prison system this for a long time now because I'm genuinely curious, and I hope I'm not too late to the AMA.

How do prison gyms work? Are they normal steel plates? Is there any fear of an inmate crushing someone's skull with a plate or a bar? And, the one I'm really curious about, what's the gym etiquette like; do you have to put away your weights when you're finished your set, or do you leave them out for some prison bitch to put away, or what?

We didn’t have weights, just bars, dip bars, pull up bars etc. We did have medicine balls, yoga things like that, but no free weights. I mostly ran a lot. I went in at 310 and now I’m at 206 so I did good without weights.

What measures or interactions in your life could have helped you before you did what you did ?

For me personally, I needed a better foundation when I was a kid. Parents or parental figures are really important

What state?

How long did it take you to settle in to prison life?

How did you most commonly pass time?

What was the worst part about prison in your experience? How about the best part?

What are your plans for work or career?

And lastly, did you have any formal education opportunities inside that you made use of?

I hope you make the most of your newfound freedom!

California. Took about 3 years to not be totally afraid, then a couple more to settle in. Worst part was being on a level 4, highest you can go, with other guys with Life without parole who don't have anything to lose, and will kill you like nothing. The best part was training dogs. It gave me a career and a appreciation for life and taught me to be unselfisMh. Yes! College is very accessible in prison, but you have to want it. ost guys don't care, but if you do then you have the opportunity

hey man idk if this is still going on. having spent time in prison myself i feel that it was actually a good thing for me as i was only locked up 11 months and believe that if it did not happen then there was a massive chance that i could have been locked up for something worse and done a hell of a lot more time and also end up a much worse person. do you feel that prison has benefited you?

It did man. I don’t know what on the outside would have helped me, but I know for sure going to prison did. Fucked up that I had to do this to change and hurt someone in the process

I am guessing that you were tried as an adult. Why was that?

Because of the crime. If I was shoplifting or something g minor like that then I would have went to CYA, which is the juvenile prison here in California

What's the sex life like in prison?

Plentiful 😂

I know a young man (21 years old) who is in prison awaiting trial for attempted murder. I volunteer with a group that helps homeless young people, and I got to know him through that.

The news articles I've read say that the incident was recorded on a security camera. The fact that he's homeless and has no money or family suggest he's unlikely to avoid a long prison sentence. I have his prison address and I wrote him a letter already. I'd like to keep writing him if it would be helpful. Do you have any advice? I'm not sure if it will help, or what I can say.

DM me

Hi OP. Noticed you mentioned a couple of times about if you had access to guns you would have shot her up or shot up her school. How do you feel about that now knowing that there has been amazing amounts of mass shooting and how access to guns should change because you can never trust human beings?

Its a really hard thing for me, because guns are a constitutional right, and just because a nut job like me would have used it for something horrible, doesn't mean good people should have that right taken. I absolutely agree with the background checks, automatic weapons bans, things like that, but yeah man, its a problem that has no real easy fix, other than to ban them all together. Even then, criminals will find a way

If you were to meet the person you tempted to murder, how would you feel?

I would probably have a heart attack! The shame and guilt I would feel would probably be overbearing for me

Are you messing with people? A couple hours before this post you comment about anal sex as a gay person, but your offense was caused by an obsession with a woman? Or did prison... err.... turn... you?

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[–]KingBrunoIII 3 points 7 hours ago Have you guys done anal yet?

[–]shecurve[S] 3 points 7 hours ago We've tries but his dick is pretty thick and it can't fit.

[–]KingBrunoIII 1 point 7 hours ago Coming from a gay guy, it’s pretty easy and ridiculously enjoyable! Did you do the on all fours way? That is definitely the worst way to start. You’d be way better off in the prone bone position. I lay on my stomach and my bf takes his time. It takes a bit to loosen up, maybe about a minute, but once he’s able to slide in and out with ease you can be in any position and it would slide in perfectly. I would suggest starting on your stomach and him taking it real slow. That’s if you want to try again obviously.

Find the comment made by PSone and read my reply. That was the direction I was going 😂

To me crime and (especially) punishment, serves two purposes:

• To make an example of the perpetrator, and to discourage others from performing similar actions - this doesn't work so well when its not so publicly known

• To punish the criminal and make society feel vindicated. To make them see the error in their ways. Particularly to prevent them doing the same or WORSE crimes

In your experiences, do you think those are served well for not only yourself but moreso in other inmates you have known ?

I think the length of my sentence helped me. With a life sentence, you have to go in front of a parole board and show how much you've changed, where as someone with 3 years and doesn't have to answer to anyone doesn't give a shit. Also, people believed in me, and it gave me hope. Some people don't have that support and just give up and don't care. If you're just gonna be out here homeless and alone, why not stay in and get feed every day and have a bed?

Why did it take you an entire year to post an AMA?

Didn't know about it. Plus after 11 years I kinda had to get myself settled in

You attempted to kill someone at 17? What he do? Steal your pokemon cards?

I explained it in another comment, and no pokemon cards weren't involved. Love pokemon btw. My dogs named for a pokemon, but don't try to steal her 😡