I AMA 23-year-old female who was recently diagnosed with Transient Global Amnesia. I am still experiencing symptoms. AMA

I was mugged once upon a time and my brain reacted with TGA. I don't remember anything about the next 4-5 hours. I just remember the doctor telling me it was the most profound case he had ever seen. I was resetting every 10-15 seconds. I freaked out my roommate when I showed up at the apartment and didn't know how I got there or what month it was, and asked him the same questions over and over.

I haven't had any reoccurences, and I hope you don't, either! Do you remember the previous weeks leading up to the TGA? What's the first thing you DO remember after it started?

Woah. That's definitely a stress... a 10-15 second reset sounds like hell. I'm so sorry :( I do remember the previous weeks. I guess the first thing I remember was staring at the x10000rpm on the dashboard. I was thinking "what car am I in... who is that note to..." and I remember being cognizant that it was abnormal for my boyfriend to be clutching my arm and elbow while I walked, and I noticed that he seemed to be really scared but I didn't know why. After that, I remember walking into the ER and everything being super bright and there were two security guards looking at my boyfriend smiling. After that, there was an Indian doctor who looked at my boyfriend and said "freaky, right???"

Is it scary to suddenly not remember what happened? How disorienting would you say that is?

Extremely horrifying. It was like hell. It was like being abducted by aliens and total sensory overwhelm. Everything was too bright and i could see everyone looking at me. I felt like they all knew somehting important that I didn't, and i knew whatever was happening really wasn't good. Thank you for your question

No problem, thanks for the respond.

any time!! AMA for science! I'm aware that this all sounds like BS, but i'm cognitive that this will be beneficial in the future and really beneficial to look back on. this is all on the hope that this disorder is temporary :(

What is the first thing you remember after the episode ended? My aunt had something like this happen and though she still remembered people, facts, words and such, she couldn't form any new memories until it was over almost a day later. In her case it was due to a blood pressure spike induced by swimming in cold water.

oh jeez. Yeah, i heard that can happen. My boyfriend's ex girlfriend has been threatening to take our dogs since we wouldn't give her money for an air bnb to visit. i was alone in a very visible room every day for weeks and weeks. the house was under construction. I left a culty-religion and my parents found out i had my names removed from the records, even though that's illegal and i used a lawyer so it shouldn't have happened. we stopped drinking 147 days ago. i quit a really good paying job to move hours away with my boyfriend while we build a house together. our living situation is stressful and no matter what we do, it doesn't feel like it's enough. It's a lot of changes all at once. I got in a car crash around christmas time and my boyfriend fixed my car, and my dad told me I'm a maniuplative lying bitch. it was really hard on me, and i was really despressed for a long time.

I left a culty-religion and my parents found out i had my names removed from the records, even though that's illegal and i used a lawyer so it shouldn't have happened.

Mormon?

Shpot on

That was my first guess.

If any of these religions are right, I'm pretty sure it's not going to be the one made by the dude who was fucking teenagers

That may be most of them.

Lol!

Are u going to remember this ama?

Haha. Honestly, I have no idea. the last 24 hours or whatever have been so insane. i'm trying to document all of these thought processes, even though it has sort of been going on for a few days and I didn't realize...

Hey, I wish you the very best of luck.

That is a crazy situation and I hope you are taking care of all of the potential long term medical issues.

So, when this happened when did you get scared? At the hospital or when you saw your boyfriend was concerned?

Thanks :) that's really nice. It made me cry, but don't worry. Everything makes me cry right now.

"potential long term medical issues" doesn't make sense to me, I'm sorry. At the hospital. I kept clutching him. I was disoriented, and told the triage that I was 28!! I'm only 23!

There should be no potential long term medical issues. TGA is really only supposed to last a day or two and my MRI was totally clean. My boyfriend was a champ at keeping me calm. He knows that I really like physical touch, so he held me against his chest and kissed my forehead over and over saying that he was going to take care of him. We were in the hospital for our anniversary 😕

Verified.

Thanks!

did you find you retained most procedural and physical memories (like playing an instrument, riding bike, etc...)? if you learned a calming technique, do you think that might be retained in case of a future episode?

I play the piano. I'm not awesome, but i took lessons for years. I have a nice pretty blonde one, and playing it always calms me down because i feel like the music gets in my head and that's all i can do, you know? no room for stress. I don't understand all of your words. I wish i could explain to you how to phrase questions so i understand, but i have no idea. i am currently without parental supervision, and i dipped a paper candy holder in peppermint oil and then lit it on fire to try and get my candle to light and boy did it NOT work. huge flames though. i googled "flammable" and had to read every word on the bottle to confirm that peppermint oil would catch flame. see what I mean? my brain is everywhere. My plan is to come back when these symptoms leave (which hopefully will be SOON) and decipher some of this shit. things that calm me down: cuddling, crying, LOUD familiar music, candles, peppermint oil, orange juice, ice cream, my dogs. definitely definitely my dogs.

is reading music harder after the TGA episode than before?

i play by ear, mostly. I can read music, but it takes me forever. I probably have like 20 songs in my brain, and then i like to mess around with chords and stuff.

are any chords more/less difficult before than now? how about skills like drawing? have you found any strange skills you did not know you had as a result of the TGA?

I haven't played the piano since I got home. Yesterday I pretty much sat in the same spot all day except for one bathroom break. I was such an emotional wreck that all I could do was listen to iTunes and cry a little, feel better, cry more. I probably cried like 50 times yesterday. Disorientation was a bitch.

How deep did the amnesia go? I take it you forgot your name, where you were, the date, etc. But did you forget other more habitual things? Like, say, why and how to brush your teeth? Or he to maintain balance while standing? Now that things are coming back and you're able to process all of this, what is craziest thing you forgot?

What is the craziest thing I forgot? I don't know. I need to review my notes. I'm having to google a lot of shit that I KNOW I knew right now. I knew that bad things would happen if my boyfriend would leave. I knew he was lying to me, but i also knew he was the best way to stay safe and he would take care of me. It's like there's a flame in my head that is trying very hard to stay lit. sometimes I have thoughts that I can put into words, so I've been typing them in a note in my phone so i can review later. I've been trying to match my thoughts to the questions in order to do this AMA. I'm afraid this is a super lame AMA because I don't think I'm answering the questions that people are actually asking me? haha. I don't know. It's keeping my brain busy until my boyfriend gets home from work, so that's nice.

Do you recognize people when you are having symptoms? Do you know their names? Your name?

I know names now. I think I could answer most questions appropriately right now, But i'm going to go back and look at this AMA later and then decide. I've been in a cold-sweat for pretty much constantly. my boyfriend kept saying "i love you. i love you" and he said i responded "i don't understand, I'm confused" and he said that made him very sad. then when we were in the hospital, he asked me questions aobut Grey's Anatomy and i answered them, and then he was all smiles and knew I would be ok. We talked about George and Izzie and Addison Montgomery.

oh and PS I had a job interview this morning. I cried before and after and I have no idea if she thought i was retarded, or what, but i got the job :'D

Wow! That's awesome that you got the job amid all that's going on. Kudos.

What kind of work do you do, and what did you study in college? Do you have any gaps in your memory when you look back on your school days and professional life?

Thank you. I'm going to be a barista, so i can afford to go back to college. I was a paralegal at an immigration law firm for almost 3 years. college- BYU Idaho. my school days? like high school? or at college? My professional life: I guess i better hope this is never revealed in my professional life!! I don't want people to know. I'm not even telling my family. my parents would become upset and i would have to emotionally take care of them and I'm fragile right now.... I'm just trying to recover and be good to go by my next obligation, which is seeing a travelling theater company with my mom because my dad dropped a saw on his foot.

What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

I literally just keep reading your question over and over, haha. It's so great.

Pistachio's good, but I prefer mint chocolate chip. It shares many of the same qualities imo.

oh my god, have you ever had talenti mint gelato? the mediterranean mint is mind-blowing. the chocolate is really delicate so you don't have to stop enjoying how it's melting to crunch it

I love pistachio! I had hazelnut chocolate chip gelato last night! I love ice cream :) that's a fun memory to think about, thank you for your question!

What's your favorite color?

How far back did you forget? Or was it subjects that were forgotten? It seems like you remembered your parents and boyfriend. Do you remember the feelings associated with them?

Do you remember your birthday? Very curious situation, did you remember applying for the barista position and past events or did people fill you in?

My favorite color is buttery yellow :)

I think i forgot pretty much everything. I was able to answer questions, but not all my answers were correct. the neuro would point to something and ask me to name it and I got them right, fitbit, glove, stethescope, he was even impressed that I said "Pumas" and not "shoes". but then he asked me if i could possibly be pregnant and i told him i didn't know what that meant. by the time i was lucid, we had been in the hospital for 7 hours. we stayed for a total of 12.

I don't know if I remembered my boyfriend form the beginning. i remember thinking that i just needed to survive this.... someone must have given me something laced.... this must be a dream that my head created that uses everything I'm afraid of. Just hold on to this body. I was aware that what was going on was abnormal but remembered thinking "well, i guess this solves it. drugs are bad for you. then again, I don't know. this isn't that bad." he kept saying "it's ok, baby, we're just going to get you checked out". everyone was nice to me, but i remember judging everyone pretty harsh. there were nurses and doctors that i liked, and some that i thought were stupid. I remembered that my boyfriend was safe. i wouldn't let him go anywhere. i just held his arms and put my face in his chest and stopped opening my eyes after a while. I knew things were not good.

I remember my birthday. I almost told you just now. haha. I remember applying to be a barista. i had a few friends work there and like it, and i needed a fast job to pay rent since i didn't want to commute hours away. One of the first things I remember is sitting in the hospital bed and singing the entire "winnie the pooh" theme song while my boyfriend caressed my shoulders, because there was winnie the pooh wall paper and i had been staring at it for so long, trying to understand why it looked familiar. It was a relief. I felt like things were going to be ok. i stopped being afraid that my boyfriend was mad at me or going to leave me there with them.

Wow very interesting. Do you think all your memories will return? And if you're American, do you remember your social, please don't post it lol.

I'm very curious about your time perception. How long does it feel like it's been? Do you feel the same age?

And was it harmful to your body? Like did the amnesia cause damage?

I am american! I remember my social, my library card from when i was a kid, my mom's cellphone from like 10 years ago... my memories BETTER return. I think they're almost all back, but i would be very disappointed to live the rest of my life in this mindset. I KNOW I'm smarter than this. It feels like Flowers for Algernon or something. I'm so afraid that I'm saying the wrong things or offending people or I'm going to lose my friends that I've told. My boyfriend has been amazing. Lots of cuddles, and only nice words. He's been sending those screen-iphone things. like fireworks and balloons and confetti and i've been playing them over and over. Those things are great. he also took a picture of us cuddling this morning and has been sending it to me every half hour or so.

my time perception- I think I lost 7 hours or so. i remember getting ready for the party and being at the party, and then everything was fuzzy and cloudy and like what i imagine a bad acid trip would feel like. I kept staring at the dash board, because there was a note from my mom that said "thanks for the visit, here's a snack!" i felt like i stared at it for days, trying to analyze the words and keep my body totally still. I didn't know where we were or where we were going at all.

I think I feel the same age. I'm 23. the beginnings of the symptoms were cool, actually. I felt like it was the first time we were having sex and i wanted to just take everything in. i think i even said "wow, you fucked me so good I forgot my name!" which we laughed at the time. Retrospectively, it's sad that that was one of the first symptoms of this scary stuff. I felt like I had been given a chance to "redo" something in my life. Like buddhism must be real, because I had lived this life before, to the very end, but I couldn't remember living it up to this point. I told my friend that i was feeling like this was all a test I had taken before, but I couldn't remember any of the answers. I remember looking in my closet and thinking "WOW! All these beautiful clothes! I haven't seen them for YEARS!!"

TGA should not be harmful to the body. Temporary is in the name. It should end with no permanent effects on my brain. Things are probably 800000x better than they were before, and i have been sitting in the same spot, in a cold sweat, music blasting, since about 1pm, and it only feels like a few minutes have passed. I recognize that my body is starving, but I just can't handle going to the kitchen and risking having to talk to anyone. I had some coffee this morning. so far, the most comforting music has been myself singing. I'm cognizant that that sounds vain, but it's like a lullabye.

No not vain at all! Music and memory go great together. There's a couple of interesting studies involving music and alzheimers patients! Now I know it isn't the same situation but I'm sure it helps.

Try smelling things too, it sounds weird but your sense of smell and memory have a very close connection.

Thanks for the answers, very interested in stuff like this. I hope all returns back to normal for you sooner rather than later.

I would love to learn more about music and Alzheimer's patients. thank you for your kind words. feel free to continue to grill. I really appreciate it. Smell and memory have a very close connection. Dog fur is my favorite right now! animals are very therapeutic.

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Thank you very much!

So do I understand correctly that you forget who you are, where you are, how you got there and any new memories? But you don't lose the ability to speak or understand language, how to walk or other motor skills? What about math or logic? Does your judgement fluctuate?

I could speak just fine. If I were to guess, I had like 95% of my vocab? I didn't know "pregnant" "vomit" "iud" I thought I was 28. Random stuff was just like, gone. Any hypotheses?

I knew how to walk. During the looping part he told me that I was sitting there playing candy crush like nothing was wrong, and then I'd notice the vomit on my pants and say "why am I wet?! What's on me?!"

My judgement is.... not great. We went to Safeway last night to rent a movie and we were only there for like 30 seconds before I got really overwhelmed because I couldn't understand the movie synopses. I started to break down and my BF rushed me out to the car so he could hold me. I just sat there and sobbed for a while and got tears on his shirt, then we went through the McDonald's drive through and he bought me an orange juice. Does this answer your question?

The hell is "iud"

Intrauterine device. It's a little birth control implant called the Mirena

This cracked me up, btw.

Your boyfriend is awesome! And so are you! Thanks for doing this AMA, it's been a very interesting and insightful read.

Thank you! I'm so glad that people have been asking such great questions. It's really helping me to keep tabs on my mental state. Even now, I keep looking back and thinking "holy shit it's like I'm mentally disabled...."

Yes, thank you. Does this condition make you question whether you can trust the people in your life? Meaning, a person close to you could take advantage of you and you might not remember tomorrow.

Oh absolutely. I mean in the reality I was in, my boyfriend was selling my body to aliens. That isn't something that your brain can just immediately shake off. I haven't told anyone in my family. Just a few trusted friends, my boyfriend, and his family. (We needed them to take care of the dogs, etc. and we are living with them right now, so they needed to know.)

[deleted]

Funny thing is, there are actual cases of pot being the cause of TGA, so it's very possible that's what happened here, especially given the car story.

what car story? can you explain more?

Last night I went to a party with my boyfriend of about a year. It was a normal day. We usually eat vegetarian but it was a special occasion so we split a very yummy hamburger. I took a few hits of a pre-rolled club joint that was from a friend-of-a-friend. Nothing abnormal, smoking pot helps with my anxiety, I tried it about 9 months ago and I have liked it a lot. Anyways, I randomly threw up on myself in the car on the way to run an errand.

Your car story. Unless I'm reading it wrong, you smoked not long before the symptoms occurred, right?

I'm just saying, based on what you've told us, it sounds possible that the marijuana is the cause of your TGA because some reports have linked the two.

wouldn't that have manifested one of the other thousands of times that I've smoked? Or affected anyone else that was there? It was like a small family birthday party at a park

You just said that it can be triggered by cold water or sex. So you're never fuckin or getting near water again either? I'm about to call bullshit on this one

Extremely cold water or extremely hot water, if I remember correctly. No, I don't plan to go ice-dipping or lava-diving any time soon. Physical stress is another trigger. So sex, working out, house building.... can't avoid any of those. We've had sex a few times and everything was fine. I don't think pot caused this, but I'm not to a point where I want to find out firsthand. Honestly I'm pretty sure it had a lot more to do with the emotional state I was in with a lot of understandable stressors. But what do I or my doctors know? You're right. This is all bullshit. thank you for your question though! I posted this expecting this type of feedback, and honestly I feel the most like myself when I'm thinking "this person is a total idiot."

You're crazy if you think I've smoked pot since :'D my neurologist cleared me, he was the one who initially suggested I look into it. I've had bad migraines since I was a baby. I wasn't able to get my driver's licence until I was 20. I know that it's done great things for my life in the past, and I will probably not quit. Maybe after this I'll consider switching back to topiramate, but if I do that, I will definitely not be going back to school, since that drug is called DOPEamax for a reason.

Is there any chance the weed you smoked was not weed but K2 or spice or any of those 'legal weed' alternatives? I have heard of instances of synthetic cannabinoids being linked to neurological/psych problems like this, ie severe depersonalisation/derealisation, psychotic episodes etc.

It was from a cannabis club. Probably mostly just shake. It's possible, but no one else experienced any symptoms.

Do you remember setting this AMA up?

Yes :) I tend to go to reddit with many of my problems.

Lol me too

But in a serious way. Do you have a boyfriend and if yes how does he deal with that?

Me going to reddit with my problems? I've never told him. He's more of an Instagram dude. I know he feels like I overthink EVERYTHING and I do, so if he did know, I'm sure he would be grateful that I'm giving his ears a break.

Ha hahahhaha I can't tell if you're joking but I'm laughing. I'm talking about your TGA in case you aren't

Ohhhhhhhh

How my boyfriend feels about my TGA. he's been great. Very cuddly and nice and attentive. Says I get unlimited freebies this week to be a psycho girlfriend

I was once diagnosed with TGA but it turned out to be repetitive seizures caused by a brain injury. Have you ever had seizures or other brain conditions?

Migraine induced seizures from being born too premature. There was no seizure activity on my MRI.

Is this the experience I've felt after a seizure? Often after a really severe seizure, I forget who I am, where I am, what day it is, why I'm there.. the list goes on but I gradually recover, while it often takes approximately 24 hours to fully recover and be fully lucid.

Are you epileptic? This sounds more like a post-tictal state than TGA.

You should see a doctor. TGA rarely ever happens more than once, and it only rarely shows up on an MRI. It is also my understanding that individuals with epilepsy rarely have it. Even though I usually say I'm "epileptic" thats more just for ease of explanation. Technically I have migraine induced seizures.

You'll be okay within 24 hours, my dad had it, repetitive questions, patchy memory loss , still no obvious cause known but some say it's due to a lacunar infarct (small clot), but he was 55 . How's your lifestyle?

My lifestyle is pretty comparatively mild, I say. I quit drinking, I used to work 60 hour weeks at the law firm, I like active things, but I haven't done too much lately since I broke my ankle a while back. That's nice to hear about your dad.

What was it like coming out of it? Was it gradual or sudden? Did the doctors know right away what was happening?

It was really terrible. I was extremely anxious and thought I was dying. It's indescribably scary to feel like everyone is afraid of you right now because you're acting so crazy. They didn't know right away. My boyfriend said they thought I was trying to hide sexual activity by pretending to not know what pregnancy was. Which.... ??????

That is...a strange conclusion for the doctors to come to.

I dont know i feel like id be more inclined to believe an adult woman was fearful of potential punishment (from spouse or others) due to being pregnant than her not knowing what it is.

Yeah, I see where you're coming from. I just didn't feel like we looked religious or anything. I have three piercings on one of my ears and an unnatural hair color. My boyfriend has a beard and a man-bun and winged-tip dress shoes. I'm sure they just have to look at all the options. Anyone who talked to me asked me first if it was alright to talk in front of him.

I remember thinking "has that......HAPPENED?!"

Doctors are so ready to blame anything and everything on a secret pregnancy. Like, y'all need to lay off watching House and I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant.

THERE'S A BAY-BEE IN THAR I JUST KNOWS IT

when your memories come back to you, the first time you got them back -- how happy were you? what triggered it?

Grey's Anatomy! My boyfriend and I had been watching it together and we just started season four. He said something like "how do you feel about Izzie, babe?" And I was all "oh my god she just has to ruin every good thing in George's life, doesn't she." And then I said "you're smiling!!" And he said "you're smiling too! You're coming back. I love you."

Retrospectively it was a really tender moment, so I guess I'll stop being sad that this happened on our one year anniversary.

So with this TGA; have you ever actually picked up a skill you didn't have while lucid during this time; such as a foreign language or physical ability like whistling?

I don't think so. But that would have been rad

As you are coming out of this experience, are your memories during this time returning, or is it still just a blur?

At this point I would say I am back to normal. Nothing much has changed, except I would say my emotions are heightened and I'm very snippy. That not seem like much, but normally I would say I'm polite to everyone. I'm thinking I should get into kickboxing or something because this episode has left me wanting to hit stuff.

Wait- can this be triggered by smoking weed and a extremely bad panic attack? I remember when I first smoked weed I had a horrible trip and I felt like I was living in constant 15-30 second intervals for about 2 hours. It was absolutely horrifying

I experienced the same thing the first time I smoked. I didn't smoke again for a few years. With that experience, all the scary stuff was in my head, I wasn't hallucinating or anything, it was just like a horrible dream where everything was scary and confusing. This experience was like an interactive nightmare from hell. I said before that I can't even find the words to describe how scary it was. I was sure that these were all aliens in human bodies and things were going to be really bad if I allowed my boyfriend to leave me with them. It really was an insane experience.

Thanks for the response!

Thanks for your question! This is really valuable to me

You said it is getting better. Is it because of a treatment? Is there some kind of treatment? What helps you the most to regain your memory?

There's no treatment. It's supposed to be temporary and go away on it's own.

Hmm, if you stay awake for over 24 hours do you still forget even while awake?

What is left? When you first are conscious after forgetting? Memories before whatever put you in such a state?

This question is confusing. I didn't stay awake for 24 hours. I took little naps.

"When I first am conscious after forgetting" me awake after ..... see? I've been having to whisper my thoughts out loud to myself and use hand gestures to understand concepts

Hmm, it seems I misunderstood what your ailment was at first, my mistake,

Still, sounds quite challenging to get through, if I could give advice it would be relax, try a bit of meditation if it helps, and do your best to not let the anxiety of a small possibility of it happening again destroy you. Certainly not easy to do, but it is possible.

One tactic I enjoy, is to adopt a "Go with the flow" mentality. Just deal with things on a as-they-come basis, and if something bad happens, big or small, reside yourself to deal with it, but not care beyond that. Drop a nice plate while doing dishes? Just sigh, clean it up, and continue. Within 20 minutes you'll hardly remember doing it. Some things just aren't worth getting upset over, take control of that impulse and direct it, and you'll find you have a lot more emotional control than you may have once thought, and are far less prone to stressing over things that you simply don't need to stress over.

Meditation is a great idea!!! Don't know why I hadn't thought of it :) thanks for your words. They're really nice.

No problem~ I hope you succeed in reducing your stresses.

If you find yourself wondering "how exactly am I supposed to meditate, a good method is to lay somewhere you can stretch out, and slowly focus on relaxing your body from your feet up. Clear your mind, control your breathing, focus on a sound rather than thinking, and just try to be content and comfortable. Good state of mind to be in.

Thank you :) you have just improved my day a lot.

So in your story you knew who your bf was, but didn't know what vomit was? So is it only some stuff you forget?

Yep that's my story. Hope you enjoyed! 🙄

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Didn't you do this same AMA yesterday?

Edit: Downvotes? Really? She was cool with it then and she's cool with it now! Cmonnn!

This guy!!

[deleted]

Fuck off

i have experienced something similar when i get very drunk. do you like eggs?

Even though I don't understand this question, I get the sense that you're probably making a joke or being an ass, haha. Maybe you wrote it to be confusing on purpose? Regardless, feel free to ask me more shit. the more the better.

It's not supposed to rude lol. He's saying he has experienced similar situations and then asking whether you like eggs. Also did you forgot you replied or did you just reply twice?

You and me, CloudThief, you and me. (FYI in case this is used in some medical journal or something, in being sarcastic here. I understood his question, I just thought it was rude.)

He is just being an ass. Don't worry.

Never change, LabradorDali.

I don't actually understand this question. I tried really hard. Sorry.

There's a block in it somewhere. Could you maybe try rephrasing?