Author, The Girl a Life in the Shadow of Roman Polanski, I tell the truth, you might not like it but I appreciate anyone who wants to know @sjgeimer www.facebook.com/SamanthaJaneGeimer/

EDIT: Thanks for all the good questions, it was nice to air some of that stuff out. Aloha.

Comments: 3170 • Responses: 83  • Date: 

SerPants1965 karma

How do you feel about the statement "... Separate the art from the artist" in cases like Polanski's?

tsnye5465 karma

I feel that is an individual decision. However, my opinion is that you do not throw a person's life and accomplishments away because they have committed a crime or done something you feel is heinous. His art, his employment, his achievements have nothing to do with me. They should be judged on their own merit, and we all make mistakes, should the rest of your life and contributions to society be ignored. I say no.

SerPants1392 karma

To echo /u/Eats_Ass comment, I find your attitude both commendable and admirable. I'd actually like to develop more of this type of attitude myself. If you'd permit me a follow up question, how did you come to this position? Was your view more ingrained or learned over time?

Thanks for doing this AMA.

tsnye2124 karma

I had been asked the question when Roman won his Oscar, which was directed to me as "how do you feel about his nomination". My immediate reaction was, why should I care and who am I to judge the quality of films? So it seems it was ingrained, but I have limits and use my purchase power to avoid certain things. So I think you decide that personally. But the idea of disregarding someone's accomplishments because they may be/have been a shitty person, in general runs contrary to how I see things. I don't like the idea that someone cannot be redeemed. I do have my own limits as do others. I say your limit is yours alone, you should not told what you can and cannot accept.

Goofypoops669 karma

I'd be more sympathetic to Polanski and willing to consider redemption if he hadn't fled from the consequences of his actions or was willing to turn himself in to face the consequences. Being as neither of those are the case, can he really be redeemed?

tsnye486 karma

he faced the consequences, but the judge thought he should go back on his word. you know press conferences in his chambers thought he might look bad

tsnye192 karma

He fled injustice, as would any of us

Claireftaine166 karma

How's it injustice ?

tsnye224 karma

plead guilty, do your time, judge says you know, I think I look bad. I'll give you a new indeterminate sentence (up to 50 years) come back in a few months when the camera are gone and then I'll give you time served, like I already promised once. Justice?

Eats_Ass503 karma

Commendable. Personally, I just refuse to put another penny in their pocket. I love Polanski's body of work, and will torrent the shit out of it. But I won't buy it.

tsnye606 karma

I am cool with that, I feel that way about alot of things too. Make your own choices.

sifumokung212 karma

Does this mean you won't fly United?

tsnye1146 karma

Yes! I haven't bought a tabloid since the day Princess Diana died. When I go, it's all in!

Greybeard_21-11 karma

I'm not an economist, but as far as I know, the director of a movie is hired by a producer. So when you boycott Polanski, are you just looking for his name - or for the economic backers, who are taking most of the profit of a movie?

tsnye14 karma

what about the 100s of others who work on the film ?

Ras1372392 karma

we all make mistakes

I think what he did qualifies as more than a "mistake"

tsnye727 karma

That is your opinion which is fine. But, I was there accounts of the incident have been grossly exaggerated and well as called a complete fabrication on my part. As the only other person present, I am good with, lets say a very bad mistake.

kangarooninjadonuts197 karma

I don't mean to belabor this line of questioning here, but I am very curious how your opinion on this matter has evolved over time. How did you feel when you were very young and how did you come to the opinion that this was "a very bad mistake"?

Thanks for doing this, btw.

tsnye359 karma

We all do things that are wrong. Call them what you may, but we've all been unkind, dishonest, hurt someone, I think you deserve a chance to apologize and move on. Especially if you plead guilty and serve your time, I mean, what do people want from him?

DaTroof133 karma

As the only other person present, I am good with, lets say a very bad mistake.

It's only a mistake if the perpetrator regrets the crime. Do you think Polanski feels this way or does he just regret getting caught?

tsnye258 karma

100% sure he is sorry, would not do it again and looking back feels guilt for what my family went through

tsnye244 karma

at first getting caught, later his actions as he got older and had a daughter of his own

markovich044 karma

Wow. That's a great statement.

orchardrivington21 karma

Why is that a great statement?

tsnye59 karma

cause a woman's not falling to the ground playing the victim for you entertainment?

SkateHunt42-9 karma

Rape isn't a mistake holy shit.

tsnye9 karma

I sure as shit hope it is, unless you're glad you did it.

Choke_M1766 karma

Do you think that this sort of thing is common in Hollywood? Why or why not?

tsnye2867 karma

yes, because it's true and we all know it is

maggiedean1643 karma

I look forward to the day when the amount of pedophilia and abuse in Hollywood is as exposed as that in the Catholic church today. It's gone on for too long.

tsnye992 karma

the world can be an ugly place, but also a beautiful place, have hope

tsnye80 karma

I thought that the level of sexual assault everywhere was common knowledge. sorry for the cavalier reply but I just assume it's no better in hollywood now than it was in the 70s

najing_ftw1256 karma

What is your advise to underage girls that are involved with an older man?

tsnye2913 karma

I think it is probably unwise, but you have to take your own path. When a man is attracted to much younger women, I think it implies a lack of maturity on his part. And you may be manipulated and taken advantage of. I don't think you can tell that to someone who is already in it.

zampe692 karma

Do you think the widely reported story that roman fled because he was not going to be given a fair trial was true or just an excuse? What would you like to see happen to him at this point if it were up to you?

tsnye1433 karma

I know for a fact that the Judge Rittenband lied to Roman and his attorney, the judicial misconduct that occurred is beyond belief. Any person in their right mind would have fled rather that trust a Judge engaged in such bizarre behavior and who had lied twice before. There was to be no trial, just a plea deal broken by the Judge. I would like him to be sentenced to time served, in absentia if necessary, and then get an apology from from the DAs office after they are forced to investigate and the truth sees the light of day.

box99643 karma

Did you file a civil case against Polanski in the US? LA Times claims you did. If yes, did you receive a settlement payment from him?

Edit: LA Times article claiming you settled for $500,000 in 1993 with Polanski and he still hadn't paid you any money in 1996. http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/10/roman-polanski-paid-samantha-geimer-601583-in-civil-settlement-of-sexual-assault.html

tsnye1475 karma

Yes, I sued him, yes he paid me. I really appreciated it. I was young and had children and had paparazzi filming my home parked at the end of my drive. I was very scared, I wanted to sue them, but my attorney advised that I should take it to who was really responsible. I thought that made sense.

box99383 karma

I'm glad you got your settlement.

tsnye677 karma

me too, it helped alot during a scary and difficult time

Frothpiercer224 karma

Do you think think this has affected how you speak of him now?

Not asking if he bought you off, but by repairing some of the damage and helping your life, did it helpe you move forward?

tsnye564 karma

I forgave him long ago, neither of us wanted what we went through. In 1977 my mother and I were the villains, now it's him, I just have empathy for being mistreated.

BadWolfCubed558 karma

So what are you up to these days? You know, outside of the shadow of Roman Polanski?

tsnye1406 karma

nothing crazy, mom of 3 grown men, grandma of one baby girl (that is super awesome) I do accounting and business management for work. Live back in Hawaii now, kinda regular stuff. But if I had the opportunity, I'd advocate for young women and victims of the media's cruel use of those who have been hurt.

BadWolfCubed388 karma

Glad you have a full and rich life. Congratulations on the granddaughter!

tsnye799 karma

Thank you very much. The good, the bad, the ugly.... and then a granddaughter after 3 boys. I'm in heaven.

DragoonDM131 karma

How are you enjoying being a grandmother compared to a mother? Seems like it comes with a lot of the nicer parts of being a parent, minus a lot of the worse parts. Congrats!

tsnye529 karma

Thanks, its amazing. It's been all boys til now, I hope we all do a good job with our little lady, we took her to our Women's March, raising her right

Durbee149 karma

So very commendable. I am very impressed with your character and grace. You have my sincere admiration. Congratulations on the birth of your granddaughter - I hope you have many opportunities to impart to her your strength, integrity and wisdom.

tsnye185 karma

you are grace in a tough world

dottmatrix500 karma

Is there anything in particular you'd like to say?

tsnye1446 karma

I would like to say investigate the judicial misconduct in this case. The integrity of our justice system should be placed above a single crime.

PM_ME_YOUR_LIT293 karma

Do you make a personal effort to avoid Polanski's movies now? Do people around you do it out of respect? Hope you are well.

tsnye654 karma

No I don't, I just have crappy taste in movies I guess. I loved the fearless vampire killers and the ninth gate, hated rosemary's baby, not impressed with Chinatown and never saw the Pianist. I think his style is to dark and hopeless for me. They are only movies, alot of good people work hard to make them happen.

RemoteViewingTrainee222 karma

Do you still hold any ill feelings toward him, or have you forgiven him entirely?

tsnye598 karma

No ill feelings period. We and our families have been through so much because of it. I honestly did not think it was a big deal in 1977 and was shocked to learn it was. What the courts and the media did to me, and now him, that's what's hard to forgive. I didn't have today's lens to look at what was happening then, it was a very different time to be growing up in.

maggiedean146 karma

You didn't feel like it was a big deal at the time? Do you feel like it was a big deal now? Would you say that what Roman did has caused a lot of harm or pain in your life afterwards?

I saw in a lot of your other comments that the judicial case was a lot more traumatizing, which I can totally understand--one incident was private, one was very public...

tsnye264 karma

I never had the chance to experience the rape, without all the traumatic events that came after, so I'll never knwo

jknknkjn28 karma

So based on your attitude in this thread I'll ask this question to you:

Was this an overall positive experience to you considering the settlement you received? You don't seem broken up at all by what happened it seems more like the buzz surrounding it was the worst part.

tsnye162 karma

the aftermath was worse than the event and at the hands of the judge, not roman. Sorry, that's just the truth. the settlement helped me navigate a life of having small children and cameras at the end of my drive. I just needed some help, it was terrifying

tsnye91 karma

No, I was never all broken up about the rape, just the consequences dealt by the media and the court. I was nice that he helped me with the settlement. I has small kids, cameras at my home, no way to protect myself, it was scary.

in_my_life175 karma

How did this happen to you? What were the circumstances that put you at risk where you, as a child, were raped by a man?

tsnye360 karma

hollywood, modeling, not a safe thing in 1977. Didn't seem like a risk at all, but then I guess you never know where the danger can be hiding

golde62150 karma

This case has always given me questions so please answer as many as you can.

  1. How did you meet?

  2. Before the incident was it at all flirtatious? Even if it was something like "I was in over my head"

  3. Did you ever think that would happen between you two at any point at all, like did he seem unstable or threatening?

  4. Have you forgiven him?

  5. Do you watch any of his acclaimed films?

  6. Does his success aggravate you?

  7. Do you currently have children, have you ever spoken about it with them?

Thanks for taking notice the time to answer some more difficult questions.

Edit: more questions as I think of them.

  1. Do you think the death of Tate had such a profound affect on him that it clouded right from wrong?

  2. Nicholson was reportedly out of town, was it something he happened to know was going on, or is he a good man that had no knowledge?

Edit 2: spelling. Question 6 "aggregate" to "aggravate"

tsnye232 karma

  1. My sister was dating a friend of his, and he met my family
  2. It was all business and modeling, by the time I realized I was in over my head it was way to late to do anything about it.
  3. No, I wasn't exactly comfortable, but I wanted to be a star so I did as I was told. I was just naive, by the time I realized he wanted to have sex, it was late, I was intoxicated, I didn't know what to do. He was never threatening or unkind.
  4. Yes
  5. Not really but only because of my taste in films, I did love the fearless vampire killers and the night gate (apparently bad taste?)
  6. No not at all, seeing him villified now as I was in 77 makes me happy for any success he has
  7. I have three adult sons, we have in our limited correspondence, wished each other happiness with our families Those weren't to hard, got some more?

golde6255 karma

Follow up questions on these answers.

  1. No follow up.

  2. How long had you been working with him before you realized?

  3. There have been too many cases about children and sexual abuse, do you think some parents push them towards it, just wanting fame for their child?

  4. Why?

  5. No follow up.

  6. Also why?

  7. You remain in contact with Roman?

tsnye141 karma

  1. two photo shoots, knew the first one seemed not quite right. second one, it all seemed fine, until it wasn't
  2. God I hope not, that's a pretty evil way to be!
  3. I know he is sorry and even if he wasn't, it's healthier for me to forgive and not carry anger and resentment inside
  4. I don't think I see a connection to his personal life and success to me. Why should I care what he does, but seeing him take the same abuse I did from the media, I do have empathy, I always root for the underdog
  5. I could get in contact with him if I needed to, but that's about it new set
  6. I cannot imagine how his mothers death in a concentration camp and the loss of his wife Sharon must have affected him, it does not excuse him from his actions, but that type of pain, who knows how one deals with that.
  7. No he wasn't around, not that they all didn't live the same lifestyle, but Roman's actions were his own

SonOfArnt19 karma

If I may ask, what do you mean by "living the same lifestyle"?

tsnye60 karma

partying, using drugs, having sex with woman young and younger

U5efull131 karma

What can we do to stop this relentless digging up of the issue to just give you peace? I'd rather you live on happy and not have to deal with this constant emotional digging up of the bad thing that happened to you.

edit: and by what can we do, I mean as in political pressure, what judges / prosecution / mayors should we shame constantly to get this wider attention?

tsnye333 karma

Have DA Lacey stop objecting to roman being sentenced to time served (now 355 days) and investigate the misconduct in the courts and her own office that has been going on for 40 year. This is not just me, a corrupt justice system needs to be exposed! And thanks, I am mostly all good, I get pissed once in a while, but this is my life. What can ya do right? Culprits, Judge Rittenband, Steve Cooley, David Wells, Judge Espinosa. It is really on the DAs office to stop the cover up

pegicorn84 karma

You seem to have forgiven him. Was there any work you did around forgiveness? Writing? Meditations? I've had a hard timing forgiving many people in my life, but when I work on it I'm always glad to get closer to letting go. Thanks!

tsnye344 karma

you just have to remember that you are only hurting yourself by carrying anger and regret. I don't want to hurt myself, do you?

I8NY62 karma

I admire your attitude about this. Any sage words for girls and young women?

tsnye702 karma

These things do happen, be careful, be aware. But never feel damaged or dirty, as if sex is inherently an injury to a woman. You have no reason for shame, you are not to blame for what happened. In my case I was pressured to be damaged, pressured to never recover. You don't have to remain damaged to prove what happened to you was hurtful and wrong. You can live with confidence and pride, you are not the one to blame and you do not owe suffering to anyone.

PresidentDonaldChump70 karma

Man, you are one amazing human being.

tsnye83 karma

I thought Pres Chump was my thing, great minds

box9933 karma

Did you ever feel resentful of your mother for taking you to see Polanski or letting you be alone with him?

tsnye168 karma

No it all seemed so normal back then, kids were dropped off to do their commercial shoots and got picked back up later. No one ever talked or thought about it being dangerous. I mean, he was a well respected man, who would think he would take such a chance and do something like that. And honestly, If I had a brain in my 13 year old head, I would have told her about the topless photos the first time and there would have been NO second time. It can be hard to explain how different the decade of "pretty baby", "manhattan" and "taxi driver" was to grow up in.

box9956 karma

If I had a brain in my 13 year old head

Things were different in the Taxi Driver decade.

But I don't think you lacked a brain when you were 13. Your barely teenage brain did not know how to process the day before when he took topless photos of you and that's likely why you didn't tell your mom about it. You and probably most teens back then were not educated about pervy adults and their trickery. In my circle (GenXers) from our neighborhood we did not get sufficient stranger danger and pervy uncle education either. At age 14, I had a neighbor "L" that I did not know very well. She and I (also 14) took turns babysitting for this single neighbor. The guy creeped me out but I could not identify exactly why and I never said anything to my parents about it. When L and I were 18, for some reason we started talking about that man and what a perv he was for hitting on us. Neither of us knew when we were 14 that he was hitting on us, we just knew that we felt creeped out by him.

tsnye58 karma

I have looked back with some girlfriends and suddenly seen things in a very different way. It can be a little shocking, but you only know what you know at the time

BananaHammock0045 karma

How do you feel about rape fetishes or people with rape fetishes? Have you met or know someone that you know has this certain fetish? Would you feel uncomfortable being around someone with this even if you didn't think they would hurt you?

tsnye110 karma

Wow! Now that's a question. I don't think I know anyone with a fetish thing, but if I do, as long as they keep it private, I say your life is your life. But depending, if I knew, a rape fetish I could not tolerate, I foot fetish maybe. I guess it depends on the person and there "interests". I don't like to judge, but I certainly do sometimes.

defjamblaster42 karma

even though you have forgiven him, do you think he should return and serve time in jail if the court says so, or would you rather see him remain free?

tsnye149 karma

He served the time he was promised by Judge Rittenband. He has since serve a total of over 355 days after his arrest in Switzerland. The maximum sentence would have been 365. He served what he was given and then was lied to by the Judge. I never asked anyone to put him in jail for a single day and certainly think he should never serve another day on account of a corrupt and celebrity obsessed judicial system in Los Angeles

SeanCanary39 karma

If you're still taking questions, I always wondered about the issue of the justice system pursuing punishment even after the victim has essentially said they are no longer seeking that (I believe that is the case here, correct me if I'm wrong). I understand that on one side there is a principle of keeping a hygenic mores -- prosecuting people even if they are in a grey area keeps us from sliding into a society we don't want to be. And furthermore it keeps there from being an incentive for perpetrators to intimidate the victim into not pursuing justice.

On the other hand, if a victim is no longer seeking that punishment...it just seems like a runaway justice system. Who are they doing this for, if not the victim. It seems...selfish of the justice system to do that if that makes sense?

Anyways, I can see both sides of the argument (and hopefully I haven't articulated them too poorly or missed major facets, but if so feel free to correct me). What are your thoughts on this?

tsnye132 karma

This is a case of the LA Court System being corrupt and celebrity obsessed, using a rape victim to further their ambitions and careers. They have covered up the misconduct in this case for 40 years and show no signs of allowing the ugly truth about it to see the light of day. Justice was served, Roman did his time. But even today DA Lacey, a woman, refuses to unseal the secret testimony of Roger Gunson and emails proving the depths of the illegal activity within the DAs office and court. All so one by one, over 40 years, each new player gets a little limelight by standing on the back of a 13 year old rape victim. Refusing to do the right thing, showing nothing but contempt for the victim and my family from day one. I think people should be more worried about a broken and corrupt justice system that goes to such lengths to hide its misdeeds, than an 83 year old man who had sex with a teenager 40 years ago. Nobody cares until they go to court and it happens to them. It's a disgrace and not one person has had the integrity to investigate abhorrent behavior of the DAs office and the officials of the court.

lizard_wizard_42037 karma

How did everyone find out what happened? Like did you tell your parents? How did they react?

tsnye95 karma

my sister overheard me tell a friend, then all hell broke loose. Our life was never the same

jsprout334 karma

Do you feel Sharon Tate's murder directly affected his ability to view the world morally? I certainly don't justify nor condone his behavior. But it must have drastically altered his life choices.

tsnye76 karma

I really don't know him that well

inluh26 karma

First off, a huge thanks for being involved in the "You Must Remember This" Manson Family podcast. It was an incredible learning experience about that whole time period and the overall vibe and mentality of the people who lived through it. I'm very happy to see how much you are enjoying your life with your family!

Since you went through so much with the media personally, are you trusting of anything your read or hear even from "reputable" new sources? Its great that you were able to move on and even forgive Polanski but I could understand if you turned out eternally frustrated with the "news" industry. I can't imagine they have ever apologized to you.

tsnye13 karma

my experience is if you don't see it hear yourself, you can't really believe it or judge. I am skeptical of everything, cause I know it can be 98% lies

SuzySleazeCh33ze25 karma

How common was it to be into the occult back then in the counter culture crowds? Do you have distaste for the whole counter culture scene and how its romanticized now?

tsnye50 karma

I think I may have been too young to have had a grasp or knowledge of that type of thing back then

RamenKing1322 karma

Cake or pie?

tsnye58 karma

always pie

bitbot15 karma

What exactly happened between you and Roman? And have you ever talked to or met him later in life?

tsnye48 karma

he had sex with me when I was 13, we have never actually spoken since

bitbot13 karma

Thanks. I was more wondering if he was violent, if he threatened you etc.

tsnye42 karma

no, I just didn't have the skills to stop him. he wasn't mean to me

AtTheEolian13 karma

I'm really sorry this happened to you, and that it has taken so much of your life. It must be infuriating to see your rapist make millions and have the support of Hollywood stars.

What would you like to tell people? What can we do to support you, and women like you?

tsnye107 karma

I don't feel that way at all. The misconduct of the court has taken up much of my life, what Roman did is something that happens to many young women. I understand that his friends support him, that's what friends do. We have both been demonized. He has apologized, I have forgiven him. Perhaps easier for me than others, but I carry no hate, just frustration at the court always trying to get some limelight at the expense of a 13 year old rape victim but refusing to uncover the corruption that led to this sad state of affairs 40 years later.

box9929 karma

The misconduct of the court has taken up much of my life

If there was misconduct, shame on the court. But why do you focus on any court misconduct when the biggest issue surely is that you were raped which put you into the court system in the first place? Seems like any court misconduct would be the least of your concerns.

tsnye185 karma

Romans actions were beyond excuse. But when you are a 14 year old girl being used for weeks, months and years by a corrupt judicial system, to be put on the stand for the entertainment value, to have the judge say "what do we have here, a mother - daughter hooker team". To be put on a plane out of state so they'd have to make a plea deal when a celebrity whore judge just really wanted to see me on the stand. The corruption and cover up continues to this day, and the new DA who is a woman, still refuses to investigate what happened. So for me it's 15 minutes which Roman regrets vs 40 years of abuse by the Courts, so powerful people could get some limelight on the back of a 13 yr old rape victim, Roman apologized, the court treats me with contempt.

rtechnix-19 karma

Oh rape happens to other young girls too, glad that normalizes it. No offense it's very big of you to forgive him for whatever happened between you two, but call me stubborn if I don't think that absolves him as a person, despite his artistic achievements.

tsnye63 karma

no it does not! his achievements do not absolve him of his actions. Sadly, it's not me saying it happens to other girls that normalizes it, it's the fact that it happens to so many. My forgiveness is on a personal level, and I think my forgiveness is really all the forgiveness required. Well, plus my family. But it's not up to strangers to forgive, this is my life, my experience, I own it, nobody else does. I will feel they way I choose, and can take the random judgement from everyone as I always have. No shits to give.

BobbyZ12312 karma

Wow can't believe we finally get to ask you questions point blank. This case comes up a lot on Reddit, so I figured it would be higher up.

What do you think with regards to the culture of pedophilia in the 1970s?

I've read all your answers but there's something missing from all this. Having seen the doc, "Wanted and Desired," I can't help but wonder how the culture of the 1970s could ever condone underage sex. No matter how freethinking, creative, or liberal minded someone is, there's got to be something fundamentally broken about a person who has sex with underage strangers for fun.

I understand that Polanski suffered a major blow to the brain with the death of his wife and in his time in a concentration camp, but I can't help but feel, given subsequent interviews after the case on video and in magazines, that in his heart of hearts he really doesn't think he's done anything wrong. It's almost like he doesn't give a shit but won't come out and say it. Even his friends in the documentary have a cavalier, callous attitude about his "shenanigans" in the 1970s with girls, calling him a "teacher" for all those underage girls.

I'm all for forgiveness if it means a person is moving towards the light, but there are countless and disturbing stories of Hollywood stars sleeping around (Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson, to name a few), their lifestyles, etc. You can't tell me they don't know what they're doing is wrong, that it's all for creativity.

Some of the attitudes from the 1970s just don't add up: it's almost as if his friends at the Oscars would give him a standing ovation even if the court treated him fairly, even if he'd served jail time, because fundamentally they just don't see anything wrong with underage sex. Of course Harrison Ford and Jack Nicholson would never come out and say this. Nicholson would instead hit on Jennifer Lawrence, saying, "You look just like one of my former girlfriends, only much younger."

tsnye21 karma

I didn't create the 70s, i just grew up in them. Pretty Baby, Taxi Driver, Manhattan, shit was just different back then.

betterthanspez8 karma

Holy shit. Its so brave of you to do this. If i may i would like to ask you about your childhood. At such an important age in transitioning to adulthood, how do feel the attack effected your self confidence?

tsnye36 karma

I was an awkward and odd girl raised with self esteem and confidence that went unused. When the world fell down around us, I got my FU on and never lost it. I know what happened, I know who I am, and I don't care what you say or think. It has served me well for 40 years now.

betterthanspez11 karma

Thank you for your open and honest candor. Your prevailing message seems to be one of personal triumph and focus. As an iconic representative of crime and cultural taboos, do you have any wisdom directly aimed at young woman who have had similar experiences?

tsnye32 karma

Own who you are, own your truth and what happened to you. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel. This is your path to walk, hold your head high and do it your way. You owe no apologies and deserve no judgment. If you have been sexually assaulted you are in fine company and have the support of more women then you can possibly know. It is never your fault, place the blame where it lies, but don't be afraid to learn a lesson and move on as best as you can in your own time.

BigBird655 karma

Proof? I'm surprised you want to do an AMA when you wanted to be left alone on this issue.

tsnye37 karma

I wrote a book, that begs attention, not to be left alone. I posted on my twitter @sjgeimer and FB that I was doing it. what else can I tell you tsnye is short for Tami Sue Nye, my birth name before adoption? I'm game to prove it's me, but my son's are better at reddit so you'll have to tell me what to do to convince you.

box99-11 karma

Author, The Girl a Life in the Shadow of Roman Polanski

She is promoting her book.

tsnye42 karma

I think that shipped has sailed, but by all means please buy it if you can find it

EggHeadMagic2 karma

Did you like the movie The Pianist?

tsnye17 karma

I didn't see it but I will, I know, it's great. I just like comedy and action and different kind of things. If I want drama, I can just live my life. Movies to me are for fun!

windwoke2 karma

Did he do it?

tsnye20 karma

have sex with me? yes

tsnye22 karma

I don't think that reply came out the way I meant!

history842 karma

What do you think about the Hollywood left that seems to not only embrace him but cherish his legacy?

tsnye10 karma

I'm cool with anyone who appreciates his artistry, I take no offense

Zelmont2 karma

Do you think beliefs that Roman pelonski is one of many in a cult of Hollywood pedophiles is true? There are many that believe Hollywood is a cult of child molesters and such.

tsnye3 karma

no just the normal amount

GeneralSkywalkerSolo1 karma

I just want to say that I have appreciated your candor in the press and refusal to let this make you someone who spends a lifetime taking the role of "victim" and viewing the entire world from a bitter place. What happened was terrible - and many people have terrible things happen to them, in this case, it just happened to become front page news because of those involved. I think you are a role model for not just surviving but seemingly moving on (as much as the press has allowed you to).

?'s:

1) What advice would you give to someone like Christina Crawford, who has spent half a century getting more and more bitter year after year, who's entire life has been consumed with making a villain out of someone who is long dead, trying to make sure that their career as an artist is always overshadowed?

2) How do you feel about the current state of "third wave feminism" where people are constantly looking for ways in which they can be offended and oppressed? As someone who was actually sexually assaulted, do you have an issue with the view today that if someone tries to kiss someone, you say you aren't into it, and they back off, a "sexual assault"?

tsnye52 karma

Thanks, I had to google Christina Crawford! I do not wish to disrespect anyone who has had an experience which they cannot forgive and heal from. However, carrying hate in your heart, only hurts you. Why injure yourself further? Do your very best to forgive, to live with what is in your past and not carry it with you. Maybe you can, maybe you can't, but trying your best is all you can do and that's enough. Don't let others judge you for how you feel, you own that and you have to live with it. And don't let others insist you be damaged and suffer for their interest or as a burden to prove you've been wronged. As for today, I was raised in the 70's. I think today's attitudes stigmatizing any type of sexuality are just overkill. This attitude that sex is taken from women, by men, that sexual contact leaves a woman damaged and dirty, that is so damaging to young women. People should respect each other period. In 1977 I didn't think I was raped, I thought someone made me have sex when I didn't want to. I didn't think of sex as damaging or violent thing. A boy grabbed me and kissed me on the 9th grade lawn at graduation. I didn't want him to, but it was just a kiss. We are great friends now. I worry that this attitude that everything is an assault is not empowering women, it is making them victims, it is shaming women for any type of sexuality. Maybe I can handle a kiss from a stranger, maybe not, but isn't that my decision? Buddy take the risk and take the consequences. You can't be a feminist and a delicate little flower at the same time. With great power, comes great risk and responsibility. you can't have it both ways

rabbittexpress5 karma

You are an amazingly powerful human being and I certainly wish we had more people like you. Maybe things wouldn't be so screwed up at this point.

tsnye3 karma

that is a very kind thing to say, thank you

kur9550 karma

Did somebody pay you to improve Polanksis reputation? You certainly sound so if you believe that he shouldn't be punished for raping you.

tsnye20 karma

His reputation is not my concern. He admitted his guilt and served his time. My problem is with a corrupt and celebrity obsessed LA court system that stands on the back of a victim for a little limelight.

GothamsRedKnight0 karma

Not to justify him through this lens but do you feel that what happened to his late wife just several years earlier had somehow led to his developed warped mores and attraction to young women?

tsnye6 karma

I don't know but you are not the first person to wonder

markovich04-4 karma

Do you think there was an element of antisemitism in the case?

We're the Hollywood personalities and authorities trying to set up a Jew who was to successful?

tsnye2 karma

I have heard that, but I was 14 so I really don't know

lentoco-5 karma

What do you expect to accomplish with this AMA? Follow up cus i love downvotes. Was it really rape?

tsnye1 karma

well, do you mean rape-rape, or just rape? I want the corruption in the courts to be shown, justice for me

Hit__-6 karma

With all due respect I'm just asking, have you yet this rape define your life?

tsnye1 karma

It's a little hard not to have 40 years of something have an affect on you. but it does not define me, I am one of many