IamA Lucid dreaming expert, and the founder of HowToLucid.com, I teach people to control their dreams. AMA!

Yeah, so, uh, how do you do it?

It comes down to 3 main things.

1 - Start writing your dreams down every morning in a journal, and after a few weeks you'll see 'dream signs'. You can use these to realise you're dreaming.

2 - Practice 'reality checks' throughout the day. This is where you 'test' your reality by doing something that has DIFFERENT results in waking life compared to the dream.

An example is trying to push your finger through the palm of your hand. In waking life this won't happen but in a dream it will. Do it enough during the day and it will filter through to your dreams and you'll suddenly know you're dreaming.

3 - Meditate. Being self aware is key to this, and most of the time we're sort of in 'auto pilot' during the day. This means when we dream we're not aware of it because we're so used to being absent minded. Meditating helps with this.

And then you could try various techniques like the wake back to bed, which involves waking up in the early hours of the morning, during your REM (Rapid eye movement) stage of sleep which is where dreams are most vivid. You then go back to sleep with the intention of keeping your MIND awake during the dream.

To learn more and get started, check this out - http://bit.ly/2bzt1BO

Or watch my YouTube videos, where I personally answer questions like the ones in this AMA in informal videos - http://bit.ly/2bLnAw7

Any time I become lucid, and realize I'm dreaming I wake up almost instantly. Are there ways to avoid the shocking myself awake with the realization that I know I am dreaming?

That's a VERY common problem for lots of people.

In a way, you've got to be able to be ENGAGED with the dream and aware, but at the same time slightly detached so that you don't get all excited and too emotional in the lucid dream.

Meditation helps LOADS with this, as it teaches you to be able to observe your feelings and thoughts instead of being caught up in them and all excited. Practice that every day.

Also, this just does come with practice. The more you lucid dream, the less you'll panic or wake yourself up. You sort of get used to it and learn to stay in the dream for longer and longer.

Is it helpful to meditate on recurring thoughts and themes (of recent dreams) prior to going to sleep?

It can be, yes. For example, if you want to create a PARTICULAR dream scene, you should meditate and visualize the scene or place you want to dream about.

Or, you could enter a lucid dream and just 'expect' that you'll arrive at your chosen scene by opening a door or something like that.

Could you explain your comment "reconnect with lost relatives or friends" with more detail? Through meditation and dreams I have recurring memories of a passed grandmother.

In a lucid dream, you're able to visit people you have a memory of. It's your recreation of them in your dream. You can interact with them, and they'll react in the way that you'd expect them to, based on your memories with them.

How exactly do i meditate? Sit on the bed and do what?

Sit on the bed, set a timer for 10 minutes.

Count your breaths, so count 1 on the in breath, and 2 on the out, then 1, then 2, all the way up to 10.

Focus on nothing but this counting, and whenever you find your thoughts wandering, go back to the counting. That's it!

I've tried this and I've counted my fingers 10 times a day and what not. Had a slip of paper I read and such.

The problem is that no matter how many times I do it, it doesn't work. If I start counting my fingers and my hand turns in a flipper, my brain just goes "Well that is a completely normal thing that your arm now is. You kind of have to live with this now, dolphin boy. Lets continue with the story now."

There are many reasons why your reality checks aren't working. The main one is that you need to REALLY expect the impossible result to happen in waking life.

So if your reality check is to pinch your nose and try to breathe, you need to REALLY expect that you'll be able to breathe. You can find more in my reality checks guide - http://howtolucid.com/ultimate-guide-to-reality-checks-ebook/

This is even more confusing then. So if I jump every day 10 times hoping I'll fly... And REALLY hoping I'll fly... I'll just have disappointed myself 10 times daily. So when I jump in a dream and I'll fly, my brain will go "well, finally it worked. Alright, to the Moon, just as planned."

I guess I simply do not get it.

Not quite. If you jump and expect that you'll fly 10 times in a day, and you DON'T fly, then you know you're not dreaming.

If you eventually DO fly in a dream, your brain will go 'AH! I flew! I must be dreaming, then'. It sort of 'snaps' awake instantly.

It's hard to understand why this works, but it does :)

What if you don't remember your dreams?

You need to practice! Start writing them down every morning, and telling yourself: 'I will remember my dreams'.

I have only been able to remember a handful of dreams my entire life. 99% percent of the time, sleep feels like the instant between being restless in the dark and being exhausted in the light. How do I dream?

Ah, classic. The main thing you need to do is start trying to remember them every morning. Get used to writing in a dream journal even if at first you're just writing 'no dreams recalled' every day.

After a few days, you WILL start remembering your dreams.

Same here. I dream few and far between. If I do remember my dream, there is a stupid high chance I've dreamed it before.

Is there a pro to dreaming and being able to remember? Will my sleep quality decrease?

Recurring dreams are a good thing! It will mean you can look out for recurring themes and realise 'oh, THAT again, I must be dreaming.. Let's control it!'

Hi, I have been blessed with this ability my whole life and my question is, how do nightmares work or do you have any experience in this? during a "lucid nightmare" I am fully aware its a dream but I seem to work against my self sometimes, like there are two of me, the "Other me" is making sure I cant do all the tricks I typically would to wake my self up, Usually killing my self does the trick and I wake right up, is this common or crazy ?

Usually, 'lucid nightmares' are where you're lucid to the extent that you KNOW you're dreaming and that it's not real, BUT you're not quite all the way lucid.

You THINK you are, and that's the scary part. You THINK you're in control but really, you're just half lucid and still experiencing the nightmare, but in a more vivid and REAL way.

It can be scary, for sure.

You're right, though. A common way to end a nightmare such as this where you're sort of 'half lucid' is to just kill yourself in the dream, or try to close your eyes.

This happens to my wife a LOT. So she should try practicing your three steps in the top current top comment,

Indeed! Show her this post, or my website

I've never practised but I lucid dream naturally sometimes and when I realise that I am dreaming I try to fly but it only turns into a big jump then I fall back down and the dream starts tearing apart (like black tears in space) and I wake up.

How do I control that more?

This is ALL about expectation. You've spent your whole life strongly believing that humans can't fly, and that gravity is real.

These powerful subconscious beliefs are what keeps you from soaring across the sky in a lucid dream. You have a deep underlying belief that you shouldn't be able to fly. gotta work on removing that belief.

I've got a ton of ways to do this in this guide - http://howtolucid.com/lucid-dreaming-superpowers/

interesting, thanks a lot.

Anytime!

What's the down side of lucid dreaming? Will I be able to enjoy the story side of dreams ever again?

It's one of those things that you can CHOOSE to do. It's like riding a bike. You never forget how to do it but you choose whether to walk or ride your bike.

It's sort of like that. If you want to have a normal dream, you can.

did you ever experience sleep paralysis?

Yes I have. I only found it scary before I knew what it was and why it happened. Now I find it kinda fun and exciting.

How is it fun when you are experiencing Sleep Paralysis and can't breathe?

I start to panic and yell at myself to move any body part because I can't breathe. My eyes are fully open and I'm awake and aware but can't move or breathe.

You can breathe, it just feels like you can't.

How did you decide to become a lucid dream expert?

It sort of happened by accident. I was napping in my room as a kid, and it just randomly happened. I was so freaked out that I just went on Google and didn't stop reading until I knew what it was..

Then I developed a love for it and learned everything I could.

Years later I teach it!

I guess it ties in with my love for psychology, personal development and human potential.

Sounds like a dream lucid dream come true

Indeed it was! I was fascinated by it, still am.

When I realise I am dreaming,I usually wake up shortly after not remembering anything since I made the realisation. Is this a common occurrence? How would one go on fixing this to being able to control it? Why can't I fire a gun in my dream? I pull the trigger and the gun turns into a towel.. What gives?

Yes it's common. Lots of people find they wake themselves up by being too excited.

The gun thing is very much subjective. Maybe you have a deep belief that guns are bad and you could never fire one, or maybe you just like towels :)

This is my last question I promise ! I have found that after a night of heavy drinking I wake up at about 3 AM drink some water take some aspirin and go back to bed, this leads me to the most vivid lucid dreams I can actually dream and be awake at the same time, I am completely aware that I am in bed even the position I am in and feel the fan that I always keep on, at the same time I am in luicid dream land so much that I know exactly how much time I have until the dream is over, why what how is this happening and how much do drugs affect lucid dreaming ?

Great question.

This is because of something called 'REM rebound'.

We dream during our REM sleep (rapid eye movement) and when we drink alcohol, it stops us entering REM sleep for a few hours, until the alcohol has worn off enough.

You then get a huge rebound where the body makes up for all that lost sleep time with no REM sleep by giving you a huge chunk of it! It means you'll get crazy long, vivid dreams and they're likely to be lucid as well.

A great excuse to have a few more beers if there ever was one!

1) Could lucid dreaming become an addiction? Kinda like the people in the movie Inception (dont laugh pls)?

2) Is it possible to get more self-confidence through lucid dreaming, in terms of talking to new people, talking infront of people etc?

I wouldn't say it's addictive, no. It's fun and safe but not addictive.

YES 100% :)

You can practice ANY situation in a lucid dream, including sex, fighting, public speaking, driving, or playing an instrument.

So sometimes I'm dreaming, and the outcome isn't what I want so I rewind the scene and start over, and I may change something I do to try and get the desired results. This may happen a few more times.

Is this considered lucid dreaming because I'm aware I'm dreaming? What if I can't really control the other characters in my dream? Is that normal that I can't make them behave the way I want them to?

It's lucid, yes but not fully lucid.

There are different levels, and at each level, you have a different amount of control over yourself, the dream, and the things in it.

I am not always a fan of lucid dreaming as Its something that always happens to me and I dont try to get it to happen, I find it to be a blessing and a curse in the sense that while I am awake I always know I am awake but when I am in a dream I am about 80% sure I am dreaming, this leads me to allot of stress in my dreams to the point that I dont enjoy it. Do you think there is any long term mental issues that can arise from lucid dreaming?

I think if anything, it can be used to help and fix mental issues, rather than cause them. It can be used to treat and sooth PTSD, for example.

It is to my understanding that dreaming serves a reflective purpose, that its something of a learning experience. I've had (sometimes reoccurring) dreams that that lead me to become aware of an issue. I also hear a lot of people talk about what something might mean psychologically for an individual if they have a certain type of dream. If I am lucid dreaming will I notice a lack of aha moments when I wake? Seems like a trade off pleasure for reflecting. I'm no psych major and know very little about the subject in general please correct me if I'm wrong about something.

Great question.

Sort of, but it's balanced out by this -

In a lucid dream, you can LITERALLY ask the dream (which is made up of your subconscious mind) questions and it will respond with deep, profound and interesting answers.

So instead of waiting to have a dream about something that MIGHT make you say 'aha, I'm scared of cats BECAUSE such and such' you can just ASK the dream outright 'Why am I scared of cats' or 'What do I fear most'.

Does smoking weed affect lucid dreaming?

Yes cannabis is a REM suppressor. It stops you have REM sleep and therefore limits your lucid dreaming ability.

That being said, just like alcohol, cannabis has a half life and after a few days (a lot longer than alcohol) you'll get REM rebound.

If you smoke it EVERY day, you will find it VERY hard to lucid dream.

If you smoke once a week, at the weekends for example, you'll find you have very vivid dreams come Wednesday-Thursday. I made a video about smoking weed and lucid dreams which you can watch if you don't judge my headphones - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwhROitZZCQ

Hi Stefen . A few years ago I kept up with lucid dreaming fairly well, I didn't think it was gonna work but I held out hope and did my dream journal and reality check, amazingly I started having extremely vivid dreams about what I wanted, but I don't think I was in control while in the dream . What started occurring was nightmares. Extremely vivid nightmares, I woke up in sweats , and was getting little sleep if any. Do to this , I stopped the journal and everything, and went back to pretty much not dreaming.

My question(s) is, how do I not have nightmares? , and once I get to a point where my dreams are so vivid, how do start to become more conscious while in the dream .

Well, nightmares are fairly normal. That being said, by intending to have positive dreams, you can reduce the amount of nightmares you have.

Why would I need lucid dreaming in my life? I feel like I am dreaming just fine, and lucid dreaming would keep me from getting the rest my mind needs, because it's busy all night controlling my dreams. Does lucid dreaming have benefits over just normal dreaming?

Some people prefer to not lucid dream, and that's fine! I guess for me, it's about this;

We're gonna dream and sleep every night anyway, so why not make it more interesting? Especially when you can improve REAL life skills by practicing them in a lucid dream, as well as experience AWESOME things.

Why do you wake up when you become aware you're dreaming? If due to being too emotional or excitement, then why doesn't the same also happen during nightmares?

Because it's activating a different part of your brain. Nightmares can and do happen when your conscious brain is completly shut off, but lucid dreams are actually what happens when your brain is partially awake.

If it gets too awake, it just wakes the whole body up and the dream collapses.

GREAT question though! I might make a video about this. Thanks.

I Lucid dream almost every night without any prompting and can remember me dreams vividly. I have no prior experience in Lucid dreaming, I didn't take a self help course or anything like that. It started when I was about 13? maybe younger. It almost feels like there is a switch a can flip that I'll just ride the dream like a roller coaster but I can always get off and change it or do whatever it is I want.

Is this common? Or out of the ordinary to just be able to Lucid dream without any prior preparation or training?

You're one of the lucky few.

Most people find it hard to learn, and have to really practice for weeks and sometimes months. Congratulations!

So I am special snowflake after all! Haha

Indeed! You'd love some of my advanced articles if you wanna take things to the next level - http://howtolucid.com/advanced-lucid-dreaming/

I once read up on something called "Astral Projection", which to me is totally bogus. Now I'll start by saying that I'm pretty sure Astral Projection is just lucid dreaming.

I've tried it before. I've laid still in my bed, in the dark, no noise or distractions, etc. I started to feel numb, and like I was falling and spinning slowly. It then got very black and I panicked and woke up.

Is this a form of entering a lucid dream?

It's different.

I'm a lucid dreaming expert, Astral projection is very much a debatable subject. Astral travelers claim they can visit a specific place where they meet and interact with other travelers.

This has never been proven, in anyway. Lucid dreaming however, has.

I'd love to lucid dream, but I'm too terrified of sleep paralysis. Can you convince me to lose this fear of sleep paralysis? Sometimes I can't even sleep because of the fear.

Common question. I have a video that explains this perfectly actually.

Check this - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esNOzc01R8U

I'm quite good at lucid dreaming. But only when I have a really good dream. On those nights, I'm able to wake up, and then continue with the dream right where I left it. It's always sorts of detective dreams, where I can follow the dream from any sort of angle that I wish, or control as much as I want.

However I also suffer from sleep paralysis. Do you have any experience in those? I know when my sleep paralysing Dream is coming. But I can't do anything about it. Is there a way I can turn it lucid instead?

Keep up your good work. Thank you for doing this ama thing.

I have made a video showing you how to turn sleep paralysis into a lucid dream. Let me know what you think - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AZNmKTQses

Hey, i have 4 questions i would love you to answer.

1. Is it possible, with practice of course, to lucid dream every single night?

2. In your experience, does time go slower in dreams?

3. How long was your longest lucid dream?

4. How many lucid dreams have you had in total?

You can but it's more of a every other night thing. Or every few days.

You can change your PERCEPTION of time yes.

Longest lucid dream probably about 12 minutes but it felt a lot longer. I'm not sure exactly how long it was, I wasn't tracking it or timing it.

I've lost count by now!

Can you describe your typical nights sleep? Including dreams.

Usually, I'll start relaxing and maybe reading at about 10PM, and then just before I go to bed, I'll meditate for about 10 minutes. I'll then go into sleep within about 20 minutes and enter a dream about 3-4 hours later.

I'll normally naturally do a reality check or otherwise realize something's not right, and then become lucid that way. It doesn't happen for me EVERY night because many nights I forget or have other things on my mind.

I kind of wanted to get into it when I was younger, but never had the patience. Had a few dreams where I realized I was dreaming, but I was almost always just playing along in the dream, as if me being aware of dreaming is part of the "script". My question is, can you really "control" it just by realizing it or is there something extra?

You can control it, to various degrees. Depending on 'how' lucid you are, you can control different aspects of it. At a basic level, you can just control yourself and your actions, and at advanced levels you can control objects in the dream, the weather, location, other characters actions etc..

Do you ever eat Parmesan Cheese before bedtime?

I do sometimes. Cheese helps make dreams more vivid and has been known to make nightmares a bit more likely.

What's your take on companies that sell pills/supplements which purportedly help with lucid dreaming? Do any of them work?

Are there any non-obvious tips you have on developing certain diet or lifestyle habits that can help promote the capacity for lucid dreaming on a physiological level?

I know a fair few of the do work, yes. I've tried them and most of them have extensive testimonials, but there are some that don't work also.

I'd say that the things which should be happening anyway are fairly important. Getting enough water, sleep, exercise, and eating the right foods.

Also, having a VARIETY in your life. Play games, travel, speak to new people, experience new things. These new experiences become more likely to appear in a dream or trigger a vivid and exciting dream.

What if you generally don't remember your dreams?

You just gotta start writing in a dream journal every morning and TRYING to remember them every morning. Even if at first you're just writing 'I don't remember any dreams' in the morning, keep at it.

Should i just wake up 30 minutes before i normaly do to write down dreams? Also should i use a physical book or can i do it on computer?(does it matter?)

It's better to use a physical notebook, because you can more easily keep this by your bed, and there isn't a glaring light that will wake you up too much.

That being said, you certainly can use a computer if you like! Means you can search the document for common themes.

For me, lucid dreaming almost always occurs when I'm napping, but 9 times out of 10 it ends with terrifying sleep paralysis. Any advice?

Sleep paralysis is scary for some but I think it's a good thing. It means that you're doing SOMETHING right. Your mind is awake while your body is asleep and unable to move.

It just takes a bit more practice.

What's your opinion on tulpamancy? Do you believe it exists? If so, have you ever experienced it?

tulpamancy

I think the idea is fascinating but I've seen too many horror movies. I'd probably freak myself out.

So, as a little kid I always had nightmares. They scared the crap outta me and I always hoped that the dreaming would stop altogether.

Now here I am, not able to remember dreaming AT ALL. My dreams started actually "disappearing" after a while, and now it's five to six years that I don't remember anything at all about my dreams.

I'd like to go back to remember my dreams: any suggestion about that?

Thank you for your time.

It's simple :)

Write down your dreams every morning (Even if you don't remember them, just write SOMETHING like 'no dreams recalled')

Take Vitamin B6

Get a solid 8 hours sleep

Is it possible to experience lucid sleep paralysis?

Well, it's not really a dream.

But also, the fact that your mind is still awake and aware during it means you're lucid but it's not a dream so no.

Hey, I'd like to first off thank you for doing this :) I've tried learning to lucid dream twice now but can't seem to make it stick but planning on rekindling this area shortly.

My questions, 1) How much detail would you recommend writing in your dream journal? (paragraphs, bullets)

2) Which technique(s) would you recommend noobies to focus on?

3) There are many forms of meditation. Which is often practiced to enhance lucid dreaming prowess?

Thanks!

Hey!

1 - As much detail as you can but don't write so much detail that you forget other parts of the dream. Write bullet points at first, then fill out the details once you've got the structure of the whole dream

See more about dream journals in this video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxVUEPK0jQQ

2 - For noobies, focus first on reality checks and writing your dreams down. Then play with the WBTB and the MILD

3 - I find just basic stuff like counting your breaths up to 10 and just 'observing' your thoughts works fine!

I have "accidental" lucid dreams. I'll be having a regular dream, when all of a sudden I realise I can change the outcome, or the location, or the scenario. I've always been able to do this, and over years I've become used to it, and realise that if I get too involved in the dream, I wake up, and therefore I try to not think about how I know I'm dreaming, but whilst also trying to adjust the dream itself.

Does this make me a badass freak of dream nature, or is there even more I can do?

This means you're a natural! Well done! There's LOTS more you could do though. For example; http://howtolucid.com/lucid-dreaming-superpowers/

Inspired by Inception, because I suffer from vivid adult nightmares, I started using a personal item as my "totem" to check my reality and make sure I'm awake. Much to my surprise, in recent years, I've begun to have lucid dreams quite often, but I can never control them, only realize that I'm dreaming. Are there any empirical differences between "good" dreams and nightmares that could affect my lucid dreaming capability, and what are your thoughts on this method of lucid dreaming?

It's all about your beliefs.

After having so many nightmares, you've got used to the idea that you're not in control when you dream, and so even when you're lucid you still lack the control.

Every day, several times throughout the day, tell yourself 'I will be able to control my dreams tonight' or something along those lines.

Make yourself REALLY believe it. Also, I have a post about totems you might like ;)

http://howtolucid.com/totem-initiated-lucid-dream/

When I was a kid, I remembered my dreams all the time and I have had a couple where I became lucid and could kind of control the fantasy. Now that I am older I do not remember dreams hardly ever. Is this common and what is the reason for this? How can I change this since it seems to be a part of having lucid dreams?

I'd suggest writing your dreams in a dream journal every morning and getting back into the habit of remembering your dreams. See this for more - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxVUEPK0jQQ

Do you know why sleep paralysis happens? I've been trying to get this question answered for so long.

Usually happens when I take a mid afternoon nap, and if it's not too terrifying, I can transition that into a lucid dream, but there will be times where I shit myself because it's horrifying.

Yes.

When we dream, for our brains, it's EXACTLY the same as if we were ACTUALLY doing the things we do in a dream. If we run in a dream, the same neurons fire in your brain that would fire if you were running in real life.

Without sleep paralysis, our muscles would physically move when we move in a dream, and we'd end up waking up covered in bruises from kicking the wall or writhing around.

At a certain point, usually after you've lost consciousness, your brain paralyses your main muscles so you can't act out the dream.

There are people however, who have sleep disorders which is why this gets mixed up and you hear about people sleep walking or whatever.