I'm a double below amputee with no shame, AMA

With recent developments in AI and robotics are you concerned or afraid that one day your legs might turn on you and go on a killing spree?

Nah, they're pretty useless without me. We're a team, they'd never betray me.

Long story short you are going to be the human face of the robot uprising? Good to know.

I'm sure you'll all learn to bow to your cyborg overlords.

I genuflect in your general direction.

Your progeny may be spared.

do you wish you had a cooler story? like shark attack, or 127 hours?

I like my story, it shows there are more reasons to be an amputee than the more common reasons. It gives me an interesting persective as well because it was a positive change for my life.

I like your positive view on your story and ultimate decision. I suppose you now have a leg up on your former self. ;)

Glad you're not in pain anymore, and I wish you a productive and happy life!

Thank you! That was a very nice compliment.

Or jigsaw trap victim?

Relevant username? Cause I'm not losing anymore limbs.

If you don't reply to this within an hour OP we'll send out the search parties don't worry.

!remindme 1 hour

I'm alive! But you can't have my damn pancakes. My mom made them and they're mine!

How is your sexual life pre and post amputation is the experience more pleasurable to you? do you preface your sexual encounters with it or do you get them back to the room and surprise them?

Okay so I've never been asked this question by elementary kids.

I have been with my girlfriend for over three years so she's been there before and after the amputations. If anything our sex life is better bacause I'm not in pain anymore. I do lack some leverage in some positions but that's a minor issue.

This was high on the list of questions I always wanted to ask a amputee but was afraid to ask. Thanks for being so candid.

Hey it's an AMA. Anything goes with me.

Did you get to keep your old legs after surgery?

No... mom said I couldn't use them as bookends. How badass would that have been!

Should have made them into nunchucks.

"I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"How you gonna do that with no feet?"

"SURPRISE BITCH!"

Oh that's a good idea too! I'd have twice the kicking potential!

Having lost ~10% of your total body mass, do you find yourself needing to eat ~10% less food?

Nope cause walking with two prosthetucs uses about 30% more energy. Worlds fastest weightloss program$

This is a really strange question, but I'm extremely curious... What's your opinion on people who have acrotomophilia (sexual preference for amputees) and apotemnophilia (desire to have a limb amputated)? Do you find it offensive that amputees are attractive to some people?

The acrotomophilia is really taboo among amputees but hey if its mutual what the hell. I know my SO thinks me being an amputee is attractive because she knows I'm no longer in pain like I was.

I do have issue with apotemnophilia. My life is better now that I'm an amputee, but I cannot imagine why someone with perfectly good limbs would choose this life.

Thanks for your answers. That's really interesting to know.

You're very welcome! Thats what the AMA is for!

They've got some pretty bad ass prosthetics these days. Got your eyes on any of those fancy carbon fiber ones? Or would you rather go for a more realistic look? And if you don't want to wear magic legs at all, that's cool, they got even fancier wheelchairs.

I've got a pretty bad ass wheelchair at home but I much prefer walking. I am getting a new pair of carbon fiber sockets in a few weeks, but the feet im getting are made out of Apache Helicopter blades so I think that trumps carbon fiber.

So you are going to be able to identify as an attack helecopter...

I'm like halfway to being a Transformer.

Do you get the sensations from what would have been your lower limbs still?

I still feel like my toes are tingling. It has subsided a lot since surgery but it was pretty significant early on. I really lucked out and I don't have any true phantom pains.

That's fucked. Damn

It's pretty weird when your toe itches and it's no longer attached. From what I've researched the tingling sensation is your brain remapping the nerve endings.

Yeah I had a real interest in phantom limb pain years ago, just a reminder of how crazy that shit can be. The CLOSEST i could even think to understanding the feeling is when i got my second trigeminal nerve block and the whole side of my face was numb but my chin started itching like mad, even though I couldn't feel it. I would try to itch or dig my nails into the skin and i felt nothing, nothing would get to the itch and I started hyperventilating because it was so intense but i felt no sensation when I physically touched my face, and that only lasted 5 damn minutes. I always felt like amputation would be such an easy choice for me, if it ever came to that decision or it just happened, then you're reminded of stuff like this. You're definitely holding it down like a badass.

When it comes down to it you have to commit. There's no do-overs. I was ready for a new life and I made my decision. That kind of describes PLS except when you touched your face you could still feel with your hand. With PLS there is nothing there to feel and its just your brain fucking with you.

did you or could you pick a new height?

After my second surgery they shrunk me down about three inches to help with my balance but since I'm a double amputee I can be any height I choose.

On your drivers license, is your height listed with or without the prosthetics?

It's currently listed as my height before surgery, but I'm sure it will be listed with my legs. My BMI would be fucked otherwise.

That's an interesting point. For BMI, do you weigh yourself with or without the prostheses?

With my legs on. There are weight limits for some of the components in my prosthesis so they need a total weight.

Seems they shrunk you down two feet, yeah?

Im 2 feet shorter and my comedy doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Seeing as you're using prosthetics, how is your mobility, as in day to day walking around compared to other people and compared to before the operation?

I'm leagues ahead of where I was before surgery but I'm not quite as mobile as someone with both legs.

Was there a last straw where you decided the legs had to go?

At 20 years old I couldn't get out of bed most days because of the excruciating pain I was in. I knew something had to change at that point and amputations had the best long-term outlook.

I wish I could amputate my spine. Soon, I'm sure, soon...

You know i wouldn't be surprised. Scoliosis research may bring us to prosthetic spines.

I read an article a while ago. I believe prosthetic spines have been created, it's just the marathon surgery and surviving recovery that hadn't. Also there's a new successful mid brain treatment for curing chronic pain, but zero indication of when even publicly funded non-FDA approved studies would happen, nevermind FDA approved studies. They've pretty much only done it on themselves. They guy who invented it suffered from severe pain similar to mine.

I hope the treatment becomes available soon. Chronic pain can suck the biggest bag of dicks. Do you know if the mid brain treatment is available in another country?

It's available for other diseases, I believe it's what cures Parkinsons. It was a doctor in Texas that discovered it for chronic pain, it was on the front page only yesterday i think? Let me try to get the link.

I hope the FDA gets its shit in gear for that. There are so many conditions that cause chronic pain that are much more complex than lopping a leg off and calling it good.

Here we go! Sorry if i got stuff wrong or mixed up, my brain sucks as it is, but i just ruptured an ear drum so my equallibrium being off makes for 10 times the cognitive suck.

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2016-04/uota-eso040416.php

Wow! I'd not heard of that! Thats pretty badass! And it seems simple enough to get FDA approved because it is a relatively simple set up

Right? I just hope they fast track it since it's in use for other diseases, it would get many Americans off of disability, and completely change the opiate game.

I'm of the belief that opiates should be a hospital only drug. It's too dangerous to society to be on the street. I agree with you that pushing pain drugs won't solve anything. Here's hoping it gets put through soon!

How much money do you estimate you've saved on socks?

Oh I've lost money. See with prosthetics you have to wear these special socks to help with the fit throughout the day and they are not cheap. Plus I still have to wear socks with my shoes

I figured you didn't have to wear socks with prosthetics. TIL.

Yup. I think it helps the shoe fit better.

I never wear socks with mine other than the prosthetic liner and the sizing sock things, but never on the foot. I feel like I'm wasting socks. And it looks a bit weird since it just hangs.

Well TIL! Maybe I'll start going sockless too. I mean it's not like I'll get blisters.

You seem like the kind of smart ass I would enjoy BSing with. Thank you for the candid responses.

You gotta take life with a sense of humor

How do you deal with looks from people at your prothestitcs out in public?

I have a lot of people ask me if I'm a veteran and lost my legs in the war. I love when people give me dirty looks for using the handicap parking spots then see me step out of the car. The looks of shame are priceless.

I always have kids look with curiousity, but their parents usually pull them away. That part kinda sucks.

I don't know quite how to put into words how much I would love to see that.

I purposely followed a very obese man that was on a power scooter around Walmart one day but then again I'm an asshole so...

I guess I should add I wear shorts as often as possible so he could see my legs.

That's fucking hilarious and I'd love to go to Walmart with you.

I get really fed up with how many people think being obese is a disability. So I become very passive aggressive towards them.

I hope you aren't passive aggressive just because they're obese and using a scooter - invisible illnesses are a thing.

I was having a bad day that day. I never spoke to the man. I know about invisible illnesses but when it come to obesity many of those illnesses are preventable with diet and exercise.

I love when people give me dirty looks for using the handicap parking spots then see me step out of the car.

Is this why someone would use visible prosthetics instead of realistic ones with faux skin covering?

I don't have a realistic fairing on my legs mostly because I like them. They are part of my identity and I'm not ashamed to wear them.

Have you considered making costumes to slip over your prothestics for amusing effects, like chicken feet, bear paws, or hooves?

Maybe some kinda fancy flipper you could attach to the foot for swimming? Or is swimming a no go?

A faun is definitely a future Halloween costume

Were there any changes that had to be made to your living quarters post-surgery? Your Reddit is really interesting.

About the only thing I did was take my bed off its frame and put the box spring on the floor. It made it easier to get in and out of right after surgery. Well thanks! I'm glad someone thinks I've got a good story to tell.

How was it dealing with the with the insurance companies? Did you have to pay out of pocket or was this covered?

My doctor coded it all as medically necessary and my mom has a kickass healthcare plan from work so we haven't seen a bill yet

What are you're dreams and aspiration.

What do you think is the perfect way to live life?

What would you like to accomplish before taking your last breath?

Well right now I'm studying to be an elementary teacher in a behavior disorder classroom.

The perfect, and only way to live is to be happy. After the pain I've been through I learned that the only thing that stands between you and happiness is yourself. There is not a single thing you cannot change or adapt to in life.

I hope to change one persons life for the better. I don't know if I have yet but if I can help someone push through one more day I can die happy.

Sorry for such a dark question but why do you think life is worth living, even if for just one more day?

It will always get better if you want it to. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts and severe depression due to watching my ability and body degrade. I made the dicisuon to take fate into my own hands and I'm happier than ever.

"I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul."

guess there's places you wanted to be and people you want to meet

That's exactly it.

Is bathing a pain? Have you used your prosthetics humorously in any way?

Bathing is a pain but the close parking is nice so it is a pretty even trade. I have to use a shower chair and handheld shower but it could be worse.

I haven't used them humorously yet, but I have plenty of Halloween ideas!

I like how for you, a handheld showerhead sucks, while for me, the best thing about going home after a vacation in the US is using a handheld showerhead again.

Actually I really like the handheld. The chair is the real downer.

Ama, so why not. How do you wash your ass crack while sitting on a Chair?

I kneel for that part.

Fuck, that's a workout.

Eh its really not too bad. You accept it pretty quick and then it becomes normal

I'm learning things I was unaware I even wanted to know.

Thanks! Means I'm doing a successful AMA!

What is your opinion on marketing campaigns that use amputees in their adverts? Do you feel most companies that do this are genuinely interested in diversity or are exploitative?

I'd hope for the prior but I have a feeling most companies do it for the shock and awe kind of a "look at this disabled person using out product. You can too!" Sort of thing.

How did you deal with the pain prior to your amputation?

Alcohol and tears.

Do you or did you meditate? Apparently it's helpful for chronic pain.

I did a couple times bu never found it very effective.

Thank you for doing this, I love your attitude and honesty, so refreshing! My question, is there anything you wish you could do that you cannot do now, but may be able to do in the future with technological developments?

Thanks for the kind words! I'm hapy to be able to walk without pain. Soon I'll be running and besides that I dont really have any idea. I'm so far ahead of where I was that anything else is just a bonus.

Below knee Amputee myself, how light did your legs feel after half got cut off lol?

They felt really heavy for a while do to swelling and the brace I had to wear. But once that was done they were light as a feather.

Yeah I'm still Amazed how fast I can move my leg when my prosthetic is off

It's weird with both amputated, I can swing em around pretty good and never worry about knocking into something.

Also last question, do you still lift your legs way higher then necessary to put on boxers and pants when sitting. Because 3 years later I still do it sometimes.

I've got that part figured out, but I think being bilateral helps on that front.

Interesting, I lied one more question. how tall did you decide to be?

6'4" I was 6'3" before surgery but they shrunk me to 6' when I had my second leg done. Since then my dad (6'2") make fun of me for being short so I'll show him!

You can buy the tubing for your leg online and cut it at whatever length you want it, so you can be as tall as you want

I see my prosthetist on Friday and thats when we're going to figure out the next legs. But I'll have to keep that little piece of information for a rainy day.

Did you wear a pirate costume for Halloween last year? Have you thought about making or having a wooden peg leg prosthesis made for that?

Also how long did it take for your stumps to heal enough for you to wear your prostheses? Did they shape well?

I wasn't ready for Halloween last year but this year is going to be the shit. I kinda do some hobby woodworking so there will definitely be at least one peg leg. I was in my first check socket 3 weeks after my fitst surgery and 4 weeks agter my second. My prosthetist says they're very well shaped so I'll believe him.

Yes! I hope you can get a real parrot, too, for your elementary school talks.

I'm glad your stumps are doing so well and best wishes to you!

Maybe rent a parrot. Im not ready for that kind of commitment. Im sure the kids would absolutely love that though!

It's so cool that your amputations were a positive event in your life. Everyone else I have ever known with an amputation had some kind of traumatic event associated with it and expected it to be a predominately negative thing.

That's the essence of why I share my experiences. Society tells us that it is negative and I think a lot of amputees believe it. I had my trauma for 20 years, the amputations were my cure

My brother is also a double-below-the-knee amputee. He also made the decision to have them removed because of pain (he had some kind of nerve issue). Your attitude reminds me so much of his!

Did you watch any episodes of the Venom Hunters on the Discovery Channel last month? My brother and his wife are in the last 3 episodes. You might like seeing a fellow stilt-walker getting out and doing what he loves. Here's a link to a preview: http://www.discovery.com/tv-shows/venom-hunters/videos/dan-and-melanie-massey/

My question: What is your passion (hobby or otherwise)? Are you able to pursue it now that you are not in pain?

Thanks for the positive attitude!

I've never seen that show but I'll have to check it out! I am an outdoorsman and heart and now that I'm increasing my mobility I can enjoy my hobbies nuch more.

If you were tasked with making the world's most disgusting burrito and every possible ingredient was at your disposal, how would you make the burrito?

Probably fill it with literal shit and sell it at taco bell. Saves time on digestion.

Way to cut out the middle man!

I'm all about that efficiency.

Any words of wisdom to people with a physical defects limiting their daily activities? I personally have a pretty bad infected toenail that sometimes hurts when I walk, but have been neglecting to call up the doctor for a surgery even though I can afford it...

Call the damn doctor! If you can afford it but don't do it then it's your fault. I don't mean to sound cruel but there's a point where it's all on you.

As far as generally, there's always something you can do to better yourself. If it's lifting to help a sore back or walking to help a sore knee or hip.

What was it like to wake from surgery without your feet? Did you panic that you'd made the wrong decision? How would you describe the feeling of having a significant part of your body cut off?

I didn't panic. I'd met with the surgeon multiple times over a few months to make sure that this was what I wanted. It was pretty painful right after surgery but it subsided relatively quickly. For a few weeks after surgery it felt like my legs were still attached due to the nerves reworking themselves. Now it just feels like my leg ends at the end of my stump.

What is the worst life advice you've ever received from someone regarding your amputation? Why was it terrible?

I went to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota for a surgical consultation and the PA there told me "Your own parts are always better" if thats the case why are hip, knee, and shoulder replacements so common. Why do people have dentures. Your own parts wear oit and need replaced at times.

Do you feel you're an inspiration to others?

Would you like to be seen as one?

What is the most cliched/annoying thing that happens to you as an amputee?

Is there anything that you do different to limbed people that would come unexpected to us?

Also, the opposite, is there any aspect of your life that would be unexpectedly average?

I never set out to be an inspiration. I did everything I've done for myself. If i can share my story and inspire someone to better themself then I made an impact and I'm happy about that.

I'd like to be considered an inpiration for children because I'm living proof that you can overcome anything with enough grit.

The only real cliche I've noticed is a lot of people think I'm a veteran. It doesn't annoy me because the people expressing it generally have true compassion when they say thank you for my sacrifice. I politely correct them and we go on our way.

I mean i gotta put my legs on each morning. But really thats about it as far as differences go for me. Besides that my life is pretty much average.

Have you ever had someone be interested in dating you because of your status as a double amputee? Or at least suspected that was the only reason they were interested?

I'm a long term relationship that started years before my surgery so I've never had to deal with that.

What is the best prank you've pulled on someone?

I haven't pranked anyone yet. But I'm brainstorming some ideas.

Ok so on this topic of pranks, here's an idea.

The original head of MI6 had a wooden leg. To determine if candidates were a good match for the intelligence field, during their interviews, he'd stab himself in his wooden leg with a knife. If the applicant didn't flinch, they were hired.

Just a suggestion.

It's a shame wooden legs are obsolete. I can just imagine the looks I'd get.

You disguise as a pirate with new people and you surprise them when you remove your peg leg

That was one of the first ones on the list!

Ever hit a golf ball with the club foot?

If you mean did I ever kick a golfball then yes I did. Many times, but it always worked better with a real club.

Did it hurt?

No I wore a shoe. Unless you meant the surgery. Cause yeah that hurt like a bitch.

Do you do anything special to prevent infections?

Do you mean immediately after surgery or now?

Now. Also, I'm curious if you would need regular appointments with doctors as an amputee.

Nope I don't have to worry about infection unless i get a pressure sore. There's a new method of attaching a prosthetic that implants a rod through your skin and into your bone and that is high risk for infection. As far as doctors go, I'm done seeing my surgeon but I do see my prosthetist fairly regularly.

How's the sex?

Sexy ;)

Can you do all of the usual positions or just stick with having her on top?

I can't kneel with my legs on and some standing positions are tough but thats about it.

So you keep the prosthetics on?

Unless I'm kneeling or we have enough time to take them off and put them back on. They get a little cumbersome during sex.

Do you use them for any other sexual... activities ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nope nothing out of what legs are supposed to do.

Do you exercise regularly? How the amputation affected your physical activity?

I haven't been able to really work out a lot as my current feet are low impact and cannot withstand running or heavy lifting. I'm more active than I've been in years and as I get better parts I'll be even more active.

You have the perfect reason to skip leg day! Bench press, shoulder press, preacher curls, lat pull downs!

Not a reason to skip leg day, just a justification for skinny legs.

Hey I'm an engineering student hoping to design prosthetics someday.

Is there anything about your prosthetics that you wish could be improved?

Feet are getting better at an incredible rate, but socket technology is pretty old. If i could change one thing it would be adjustable sockets that the patient can adjust at home instead of needing new ones made.

Since I don't think it's been asked yet: what do you do for a living? Is it the public/motivational speaking?

Do teachers ever chastise their students for asking a question?

Was your family very supportive of the decision?

Do your underwear or pants ever get caught when you're putting on your prosthetics?

And finally, are you religious, and how has your experience impacted those beliefs?

Right now I'm in college working on a degree in elementary education with a focus on behavioral disabilities.

I make sure to tell teachers that any question is on the table. The nice thing about younger kids is that they will ask anything, there is no filter between their brain and mouth.

At first they weren't but I did plenty of research and found stories of other people in a similar situation. I eventually wore them down and now they are so very happy I made this device.

The only difficult part is getting pant legs over my feet, since I don't have an ankle to point my toe it takes a little time to get pants on.

I am religious and to be honest I think the whole process made it harder for me. I spent so much time praying that the pain would go away and it never happened.

Do you play any sports? E-sports, or maybe wheelchair bodybuilding?

I hope to start long distance running and maybe bodybuilding but I gotta get my new feet before I can do that.

Have you experienced Phantom Limb Syndrome? How mobile were you before the amputation? And lastly, what is your favorite current TV show. Is it Game of Thrones? Mine is Game of Thrones.

I still have some PLS but it's mostly tingles and itches and not true pain. Before surgery I was bedridden most of the week from sheer pain. I've actually never seen GoT but I'm working through the books right now. I'd have to say The Office (US) is my favorite.

Something I've been wondering about; How are the sockets attached to your legs? Is it skin, muscle or bone they're attached to?

There are 2 main ways nowadays. The first is by far the most common and it is a socket. My stump is put in the socket and sealed in there with a little valve and a gel sleeve that stops air from coming back in. The next kind is very uncommon as it is brand new technology. It's called osseogenisis, or osseointegration. What happens in this method is patients have a metal rod inplanted through the skin and into their bone. They leave a part of the metal outside the skin and the prosthesis attaches to that.

How did you lose you shame? Do you miss it?

I lost it with my left pinky toe. I don't miss it much, always ended up getting smashed on a table.

Do you wish that story was cooler, like shark attack or something?

Oh yeah. I wish I had fought a shark off a baby dolphin and lost my swimtrunks. That would make a good story for losing my shame.

1. Do your prosthetics hurt at the point where they are attached at all?
2. Was there a certain moment where you decided it would be best to amputate? Do you wish you would have done it earlier?
3. What did you think of Predator 2?

The only time I have pain is when my leg shrinks and I need to put another sock on.

I decided on the amputations in October of 2014 and started meeting with surgeons that winter.

I've only sen AvP

what kind of prosthetics have your tried, and how do tell if it is a good fit for you?

I'm curently in a suction system. There is a one way valve in my socket that stops air from coming in when I put it on and then a sleeve that goes on the outside of the socket to stop air coming in the top.

I hope to be put in a vacuum system soon which has a tiny motor that continuously pulls air out of the socket ensuring a very tight fit.

As far as hardware goes, it is matched to your activity level. The physical fit of the prosthesis comes down to the skill and knowledge of your prosthetist.

Are you able to drive a car or do you have to catch rides?

I drive with my feet just like I used to before surgery

Can you play sports such as soccer or swimming?

I don't know about soccer due to the foot control you need. I could probably be a goalie. I can swim and its actually pretty easy cause theres no feel adding more drag.

Thanks for this amazing ama, though I have two feet, it felt really empowering and positive! Once again, than you very much!

You're very welcome! I enjoy telling my story to others!