IamA 17 year old blind guy who was shot by his father AMA!

Hey mate. I see life hasn't been easy for you. All my thoughts go to you, but I'm 99% sure that if you made it way until now, nothing else can stop you in life.

How is your mum ? hope she is holding up

Much love from France

Thanks mate! For a while, mom struggled with extreme depression. Now she is engaged and doing fantastic.

Hey buddy, I can relate a little bit as my mother tried to kill me during a suicide bid when I was a kid. I know the PTSD and depression from surviving something like that can be terrifying and make you feel like you can't move past it, but keep working on it. It may take years but you WILL get to a point where it will just be something that happened to you but not be the thing that defines who you are as a person.

You've got so much life ahead of you, also that video of you playing Mortal Kombat was goddamn awesome. Stay strong!

Thank you for your words of encouragement :).

Hey Ross, long time no see. I don't know if you remember me, but my name is jin. We hung out with Arthur in 5th grade at hawk ridge.

That's a crazy story man. It's super cool seeing you on Reddit and reconnecting. How have you been doing? I had no idea you moved to Florida.

Let's talk again soon!

Wow! I totally remember you! If you have a Twitter, follow me @ross_minor, or add me on FB.

Do you actually just see black now?

Not exactly, I sort of see my own mind. Since I use to be able to see, I know what colors look like. Because of that I sort of see what I picture in my mind, if that makes sense.

So essentially you imagine things based upon the things you've seen in your past? That's awesome.

Yes, exactly!

I've read that people who lose their vision can still see in their dreams. Does this happen often for you? If it does, do you look forward to dreaming?

Yes, I am able to see a bit in dreams. I don't usually dream often, so it's not something I really care about.

may have been asked elsewhere but how do you reddit?

Only about 10000 times :). I have a program on my computer that reads the text on my screen.

Thanks for answering for the 10000th time then! :) Hope all goes well for you

Yup sure thing!

is it difficult to remember what the colors look like?

Nope not at all. I don't think that's something I could ever forget.

Do you remember scents?

Yes I do.

As a father of two young kids, I just can't fathom how a man could get to the point of doing something like that... Were there any warning signs that you can remember, or was it just a random act, out-of-the-blue?

My mom knows more of the back story, but at the time, no, we had no idea.

Sorry if you posted this already, but what's the backstory?

Almost nothing tbh, just that my parents were getting a divorce.

I mean this in a nice way. Do you ever find moments of black humour help you? Have you ever managed to find any lighter moments when looking at your predicament?

Oh yes. I make jokes about my blindness on a daily bases, lol.

A blind guy walks into a bar.

I see.

I don't... :).

I'm a firm believer that humour is the best medicine for almost any ailment. I've got a lotta respect for you man.

I agree. Thank you.

Omg... dead. Youre hilarious

:p

Because of your loss of sight and smell, are you other senses heightened? Are you able to feel things and taste things better?

Yes they are, especially my hearing. I mostly rely on my sense of touch and hearing.

That makes sense, it'd be kinda weird relying on your sense of taste haha

Yeah lol.

Is your name Matt Murdock?

I wish.

My heart hurts reading this. You are a warrior, Ross. Can I ask you your views on gun control in the US? Stay strong xx

I believe that guns should have extremely strict restrictions, multiple screenings, etc.

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I have forgiven him, more of acceptence. Hello from Florida!

Hi neighbor :D

Hello neighbor!

Hello neighbor also! :)

Hello neighbor also also!

Bless you for forgiving him. Wish you the best life you can have!

Thank you :).

This is overwhelming... I live in a pretty violent country where people are shot everyday, but this was just mean. What memories do you have from your brother? How was he like?

And to the event itself, do you remember anything? Pain? How long did it took to recovery?

I was asleep when I was shot, so I didn't feel any pain. I was in the hospital for about 5 weeks or so. I definitely remember my mom. I was more of a mamas boy, while Ryan liked to hang out with dad.

So you just woke up in the hospital later and your vision was gone? Sorry man.

My best friend when I was a kid was murdered by his dad in his sleep, along with his mom. I think they were going to get a divorce and he wanted to get the insurance money. Fucker was executed years ago.

Yup pretty much. Damn that's fucking rough, sorry man.

Is your depression getting better? Stay strong man you have inspired a lot of people, trust me going through something of that degree and staying strong is very admirable.Best of luck to you

Oh yes it has improved a ton since I got on antidepressants.

You know, for a blind guy, you've got one hell of a charming face. You obviously haven't lost your smile, and that's awesome.

I'm glad you found a mix of drugs that work for you. I know it can be difficult to find an appropriate combination and it can suck to wait to see the effects when you change.

As someone else said, if your family has made it through this, you should be able to make it though much more. I wish you the best, and thanks for doing this ama!

Edit: read the comments below regarding "for a blind guy" before jumping to conclusions. Thanks.

Haha thank you, that's very kind of you. I got lucky, worked on the first prescription.

What do you plan on doing with your life?

If you have an idea of course, I'm 21 and I know fuck all, haha.

I want to be a musician, a motivational speaker, and a programmer for sure.

This comment hit me hard bro. I don't have any physical disabilities and you have so much more motivation than me. Keep going hard brother.

Just out of curiosity, do you work out?

Thank you! Yes I do, I'm on the swim team, and I have a punching bag and pullup bar in my room. I'm going to eventually buy some free weights when I have the money.

Yo PM me and we can figure out getting you some free weights in my budget, if you're interested.

Man, that is so kind of you, but I couldn't. Just the fact that you offered shows what an amazing person you are, but I can't. I'm moving soon, and it would just be one more thing to coordinate. Maybe I'll take you up when I move haha.

Well just let me know man. You're doing a lot for everybody just being you.

Thanks bro, will definitly keep you in mind.

a very interesting combo. you can learn just about everything you want to know about programming from subbing to the programming subreddits, reading the sidebars there and reading and watching videos online. I took a basic course in Ruby from google in a multi part online class. It was really neat and even though I'm not a coder I really enjoyed it.

I'm a musician. I play the guitar, bass, drums, keyboard and sing. If you're curious about music I say go for it. It's very relaxing to play, takes a LOT of practice and hardwork and just when you think you've got it down you realize just how impossibly hard your instrument of choice is to master.

Idk much about motivational speaking but I do really enjoy getting people pumped up about X or Y so if you can get people in high spirits and find a topic or topics you're very passionate about then I'd suggest watching as many public speaking gigs as you can find online(TED talks would be a great start).

GL dude : )

Wow thanks! I'm already taking a class on CSharp, and I frequently mess around with my raspberry pi. I'm quite good at the instruments I play, but recently I've reached ablock. It's about time for me to learn music theory, but I don't have anyone to teach me.

If you could meet anyone alive today who would it be?

Hmm, either Bill Gates or Steven Hawking.

Ok first of all respect man. I am so amazed by what you've managed to accomplish already and I'm sure you'll go far. I have four questions but don't feel like you need to answer everything. I'll split them into separate questions so it's not just a wall of text.

Does your reading program thing read everything on screen or only stuff on certain areas of the screen, and can you adjust the speed of the voice?

Yes and yes. I control it using the keyboard. I'm able to read by heading, by link, by paragraph, by edit box, etc. I'm able to change the pitch, voice, rate, and volume of it as well.

As a professional website developer, what are some things I can do on projects to make screen readers work better? Other than alt tags on images.

A lot of websites have these annoying banners at the top that are really annoying. I've also seen in some cases when developers make lists, they don't make one giant list, but they make one bullet point then create another list for the next bullet, it's weird.

Where did you did you finally find a place that had a school to adequately teach you? I am a special education teacher and am disgusted by how often I hear of the huge disparities found in services from county to county and state to state.

My mom had to take the school system in Charlotte, NC, to due process. We eventually won the case, but no after we ended up moving to Florida and enrolling me in the Florida School for the Deaf and Blind. I've since left that school and settled in a nice little private school to finish the rest of high school.

Very cool. Glad that she was such a good advocate for you! So many parents find due process too daunting and won't push to have their child properly educated.

Yeah, mom is definitly my greatest advocate.

The US is still so behind in serving the needs of people with disabilities. One school district didn't teach a guy to read because he was deaf and they said he couldn't learn, which was a lie.

http://kimatv.com/news/local/grandview-school-district-pays-1-million-settlement-to-deaf-student

Yeah I very much believe it.

Charlotte and not Union County? Regardless it's a shame that had to happen, although I'm not surprised as a mom of kids in the school system now. I didn't live here at the time, but I've heard your story from others and have a very good frid in your old neighborhood now. Im so sorry things have been so tough, and I hope for the best for you and your mother.

Thank you mam :).

Hey dude. I watched your speech at XMO, and it put a lot into perspective for me. I loved the last bit, where you mentioned how a small act like a high five, or a handshake, or a hug can mean a lot to people. And also to reach out to people, because we don't know what someone is going through, because often is is kept hidden from the world. My thoughts are with you just now, and I truly wish you happiness and peace.

Question time, I read in a previous comment that your sense of touch and hearing is heightened, so my question is, what do you consider to be some of the best/worst textures?

Thank you for your feedback! I absolutely hate the feel of the insides of pumpkins, never again. My favorite texture would probably be, hmm, silly puddy? I also like really soft things.

Do you think its worse being blind from birth or blinded during life after being able to see?

Definitly blind from birth. Since I use to be able to see, I know what colors look like, I have an understanding of what size and depth is, and I'm able to know when someone is able to see me: a lot of blind people born blind have trouble with that.

Hey man. I thought that you being able to play Mortal Kombat is pretty sweet, so I had a few questions in regards to MK and other fighting games.

First, I was wondering how you imagine what the characters you play look like.

Second, I was wondering if there are any fighting games besides Mortal Kombat that would be feasible for you to play?

Third, what match ups in MK do you hate/like?

A few are just figments of my imagination, but a few I imagine from TV shows I use to watch when I was a kid. For example:

Gorro = That giant slime villan from Teen Titans.

Kung Lao = Zuko from Avatar

In MK9, I absolutely hated doing the ladder because I couldn't stand Grro/Kintaro/Shang/Chao, sorry for the bad spelling. I hated them because they discouraged the normal way you're suppose to play MK, with combos. Every time I would try to do a combos, I would get my face smashed. And oh God I couldn't stand Kintaro's flying jump thing, or was that Gorro.

That's pretty cool man, thanks for sharing.

You're welcome!

Just watched the XMO video and came here to tell you how a courageous and inspirational person you are. Also, I love your username man, is it a step brothers reference?

Thank you for watching! No it isn't, I've just used it for as long as I can remember lol.

You know you're now Reddit's video game playing Daredevil with "NightHawk" as your badass superhero name, right?

Thanks for doing this.

I'm perfetly fine with that :).

How do you type so well? Proper use of homophones, capitalization, punctuation, the works...

Just practice I suppose.

How has your loss smell affected your taste? Like, do you still taste a full range of flavours or only the five basic tastes; bitter, sour, sweet, salt and umami (not many people have heard of umami it's hard to describe but it's basically savory).

Yeah I'm still able to taste, it's just slightly dulled. If you gave me a grape flavored and a green apple flavored candy, I'd be able to tell the difference. If you gave me a strawberry and a cherry, I wouldn't.

If you gave me a strawberry and a cherry, I wouldn't.

I would not either. And im perfectly fine...supposedly.

Lol.

1v1 me mortal combat? Fair warning I have 20/20 vision.

In all seriousness though how you learned to play is incredible

Haha sure, even though I'm shit at playing online. Have a hard time getting use to the lag.

Is there a mindset that you've formed as a result of this tragedy?

Yes, it takes pain to grow. I know Reddit doesn't like that saying, but it's what I've lived by.

Thank you. You are a beautiful person inside and out.

Thank you <3.

Who in M K X sounds the hottest?

Hmm, probably Sonya.

How did family friends react? Did you retain any friends from before the accident?

The family was devistated, especially mom. I have kept in touch with a handful of friends from my childhood.

How were you treated at schools because of what happened? Also did this strengthen your relationship with your mom if you don't mind me asking? Also, major respect to you and thank you for doing this.

I wasn't necessarily bullied at school, but people kept their distance and didn't really talk to me because they were intimidated by my blindness.

How do you use the computer ?

With a keyboard, haaha jk. I have a program on my computer that reads the text on my screen.

Do you just talk back and it types, like the dragon program?

No, I use a keyboard.

Dam I'm almost 42 and still make mistakes and have to look at the keyboard to type. How do you know if you made a mistake or misspelled a word?

Usually I'll know if I missed a key. I usually go over what I write once just to make sure there aren't any huge mistakes. Whenever there's a spelling error, my program will tell me.

How do you navigate on the computer? Like how do you find things to click on?

I have a program on my computer that reads the text on my screen. I control it with keyboard commands.

Hey. My condolences for the rough hand life has dealt.

Moving around, did an education system ever adequately meet your needs?

Nope not really. Most people didn't know how to deal with a blind student haha.

What are your hobbies?

I play video games. I'm the captain of the swim team. I play the drums, piano, guitar, and I sing. I like to read and do various extreme sports.

Wow, that sounds awesome, I can barely even play one instrument! I love to play video games too, what're your favorite ones?

My favorites are MKX, Naruto, Pokemon, and Inustice.

I read recently about a successful eye transplant for a blind pig. Do you keep up with this kind of research? Do you have hope of one day restoring your eyesight or smell?

Also, do you play computer games like MUDs? I play Alter Aeon which has a huge blind community.

Thanks for doing the AMA!

I keep up with it from time to time, but I honestly don't know if I would want my sight back. It would be amazing, don't get me wrong, but being blind is who I am now. And yes I do play Alteraeon, who's your char?

My current character is Leaf. I've been playing since like 1999 but I only log in once every few months. I'll log in to run something with you if you want though :)

I've already run with you before :). My name is Shrukin.

Have you forgiven your father? Understandably there has to be some feelings of anger towards him.

Yes I have. I'm not nearly as angry as I use to be. I've pretty much accepted it for what it is.

If you could teleport to any point in your life for about 60 seconds, and can not be in the same room as yourself, when would you teleport to?

Honestly, I know it sounds kinda fucked up, by I wouldn't mind being there when I went blind. Maybe in the hall, listening to all of it happening.

How have you navigated the loss of your brother? How do you maintain your emotional connection with him? Do people complaining about their (living) brothers make you mad?

No they don't make me mad, not at all. I have a few possessions that use to be his that I still keep around.

Do you have or use some kind of phone? Or some gadget that makes everyday easier for you?

You seem so patient with all the duplicate questions on here, that's very kind of you!

I feel that everyone questions deserve to be answered. I have an iPhone.

Hey :) I saw you said that you imagine your surroundings from the colours and images you remember. I was wondering if your dreams are also visual, or whether other senses take priority more when dreaming? Thanks for the ama!

Most of my dreams are blurry.

Who's your favorite Mortal Kombat character?

Do you find professional wrestling less enjoyable without smelling what the Rock is cooking?

Erron black. And yes, yes I do.

Just watched your video. I'm so sorry you went through this. As a father of two (soon to be three! Just found out my wife is pregnant!) I cant even imagine a father doing this to their own flesh and blood.

Did your father leave any note or other clues as to why he did what he did? I know you said your parents were going through a divorce, but was that the sole reasoning? Did your father have a history of mental illness?

Everything happens for a reason, even if that reason is beyond our own ability of understanding. It clearly wasn't your time to go. Keep your head held high man. You're destined to do good things in life. Best of luck!

Thank you, that's very kind of you. My dad did leave several suicide notes, but I have yet to read them.

Very inspirational. What advice do you have for people struggling with depression that don't have it nearly as hard as you do?

Well, depression isn't really something that's dependent on how bad you have something, sometimes people just have it. I would say let people help you. We don't think rationally when we're depressed.

Sorry to hear that man. What sized bullet did he shoot you with if you don't mind me asking? (I really dont mean to come across as inconsiderate) Also, would it be possible to post a picture of the head scar? I'm very curious as to how it looks to this day :)

He shot me with a 22 revolver. I don't have much of a head scar anymore, but I still have a pretty wicked scar on my palm. I'll get around to posting that.

Thanks for doing this AMA - how are you currently reading the comments? Is there an interpretation tool on reddit? (which proves my ignorance on the challenges blind individuals face).

Thank you for taking part in it! I have a program on my computer that reads the text on my screen.

Sorry if this has been asked, but has this affected your memory at all?

Nope, the bullet didn't hit my brain.

Hi Ross! I'm your age, I can't even think about going through what you've been through, you're really brave! What are your plans for the future, what do you want to do? I'm sorry if this has been asked! A big hug from Portugal friend! :)

Haha thank you, hugs back! I plan to go to college. I want to be a programmer, musician, and motivational speaker.

HOW CAN YOU SEE THIS?

I can't, I'm blind. I have a program on my computer that reads the text on my screen.

What is your favorite band or genre of music? Also I'd like to add that the way you keep going is very inspirational, keep being awesome.

Thank you! I mainly listen to rock and metal, but sometimes I'll listen to dubstep, Jazz, or piano. Some of my favorite bands are:

1. A Day To Remember

2. Our Last Night

3. Sick Puppies

4. Yellow Card

5. Five Finger Death Punch

6. All That Remains

7. Blink182

How do you browse reddit?

I have a program on my computer that reads the text on my screen.

Hello u/Nighthawk321! I have so many questions.

1) Have you been able to forgive your father? Please, don't get me wrong. I think that he was the most horrible and egoist person in the world, but, in order for you to continue with your life, you'll need to find some peace and acceptance.

2) have you been in love? Have you met a special person already?

3) You were able to see until the age of 8. When you listen to an audio book now, does your imagination gives you enough material?

4) what do you want to be in the future?

I apologize for so many questions and I'm not an English native speaker.

edit: you've already answered my first question above.

1. Yes, I have accepted what has happened a long time ago.

2. Yes I have been in love, but nothing more than silly teen love for about a year or so. I don't currently have a GF.

3. Yes it does.

4. I want to be a motivational speaker, a musician, and a programmer.

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Yes I can still taste.

Hey man. What do you do for fun? I see you like to read and play guitar.. Any favorite books or authors? What song are you learning to play right now?

I like to do extreme sports as well. My favorite book would probably be Eragon or the Mistborn series. I'm currently learning to play and sing this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MA0laOUGG60

Have you found that your personality has changed much like Phineas Gage?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phineas_Gage

No, I didn't have a personality change because the bullet didn't touch my brain.

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50 duck sized for sure. I would just stomp on them.

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.....My father committed suicide?

Haha, I didn't see what he asked before he deleted it, but your answer made me cringe at the thought.

Lol he asked if I still had a relationship with my father.

I missed that part! Oops.

No worries!

When will you kill yourself?

Never. I know you may think this is funny or whatever, and you're entitled to that, but joking about suicide is not a joke. I hope you're doing okay.