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Comments: 789 • Responses: 70  • Date: 

randomkontot438 karma

You say you had many orgasms. How does that work? Did you have sex with the customers or did they kinda just reciprocate? I haven't got a clue what's allowed in a sensual massage parlour in Toronto so forgive me asking.

MewMewMuse416 karma

Your typical customer would want the girl to be having a good time, too. It's not sexy to have a stranger yawning and looking across the room or going, "oh yeah, you like that" with a face like Grumpy Cat. A big part of the draw in coming to these places is in touching a hot lady, and pleasuring her. I was surprised to find that out, too, and after ten minutes of getting my own body massaged, would wonder, Is this guy just trying to not pay me?

But no. It was thrilling for them to get their masseuse off, and then have her repay him with real gratitude. :)

TreesInToronto137 karma

I haven't got a clue what's allowed in a sensual massage parlour in Toronto so forgive me asking.

Everything. For $200 you can engage in coitus.

MewMewMuse267 karma

No no no! You have to be an establishment licensed to sell sex. In which case, yes, it is legal, and prices will vary per establishment. But there are a limited number of those licenses per city (it's stupid), and in Toronto those have all been taken for years. So most massage parlours in Toronto are not legally allowed to sell sex. any of them still do. But we didn't.

TreesInToronto323 karma

MewMewMuse134 karma

;) Well, as far as I know. There are plenty of closed doors I did not see behind. But our bosses were very strict if they suspected anything like that.

atlasMuutaras105 karma

Huh. I didn't know prostitution was legal in canada.

PM_BUTT_PICS149 karma

Hooking on a street corner is illegal.

Everything else, from a brothel to ads on craigslist is legal. There's sections in our phone books for 'adult' entertainment, and a massive section on come craigslist type website.

Puddin-Head72 karma

I should visit Canada...

MewMewMuse138 karma

Our sex selling laws are actually pretty convoluted, and two years ago a bill was passed which is very much not in the best interest of sex workers, especially independent ones. Read up on Bill C-36 if you're interested. Here's an article which in my biased but trying not to be opinion is spot-on: https://nowtoronto.com/news/bill-c-36-wont-help-sex-workers/

toilet_bowler220 karma

Is it just handjobs or what?? Is oral a possibility? And do you have to use a condom for that?

MewMewMuse302 karma

By the books, it's less hand jobs and mostly body slides, actually! Ever gotten oiled up with a naked lady and had her do divebombers across your body? Feels fucking fantastic. Hand jobs are rarely even necessary; it's more fun to end in this way. But other things were done sometimes, usually more creative things. Boob-slides, bondage, etc. It's two adults in a sensual environment together, so it was really up to the girl what she was willing to do and for how much. I did oral for only one regular, and I charged him wayyy extra, because, I mean, it's oral. It's kind of a big deal.

Condoms are a big no-no. If anyone brought a condom you would throw it in the trash and cover it with tissue immediately. The presence of condoms is how a cop could argue that we were selling prostitution, which was illegal for us (you have to have a specific license to sell sex in Canada, or that's how it was at the time).

fluffyxsama84 karma

Are you saying all of the sex was unprotected?

EDIT: top comment at the time was about sex with clients, read answer without realizing it wasn't OP. At the time. She may have answered it by now.

MewMewMuse179 karma

Nope.... no sex.

EDIT: Okay, I'm trying to use "sex" in the very clinical, penetrative sense by which it exists in the laws. I agree with the people saying "but oral sex is sex..." and "sexual activities without 3=D O is still sex..." in the, hmm, philosophical sense.

What I'm saying is penetrative sex is where the line was drawn for our license between what was legal and what not. As such, it is not one of our offered services. The other areas, like oral sex, are greyer, and not clearly stated as illegal to sell, and therefore it was up to a worker's discretion whether she wanted to offer such services to a desiring client. But it is still not a Muse-sanctioned activity, to be clear. I did it personally, a few times, only for significant bonus pay, and because I'm a filthy rebel scum. What we DID offer is what I've mentioned above.

skepticalspectacle17 karma

serious question, with any of the "semen on skin" or "genital/oral skin on skin" forms of contact, aren't there still concerns regarding STDs such at HPV, herpes, etc? does one just roll the dice and count on a good immune system? (thank you for taking the time to post all this btw!)

MewMewMuse8 karma

We're all aware of it and we exercise caution as we see fit. Some girls are very adamant about not having cum touch them, not usnig their mouth for anything... but honestly, a lot of the business is repeat customers, people who are aware if they have an infection, and, wanting to stay welcome at the spa, will not come in at such a time.

We also take visuals, you know, we pay attention to smells and all that. I was one of the least conservative workers... I didn't mind semen on skin or anything. But I wouldn't let it get anywhere near my vagina, or a cut, etc. Oral was rare already, so if a girl and her client were going to the trouble of negotiating that, they probably already had a good enough relationship that neither of them would be hiding the fact of cold sores or infections from each other.

No one involved wants to catch anything. Obviously. So clients and workers alike are communicative, careful and responsible. By and large. In all my 4 years, the biggest infectious problem we ever had was bedbugs, haha. (That was a bad time.) I didn't know any of my coworkers to have contracted even a minor disease.

Also, we all got check ups twice a year. It was mandatory for continued employment.

quitefranklee27 karma

Spit? Swallow? Or facial?

MewMewMuse91 karma

Spit. Or, don't ejaculate in my mouth at all is far better. Each of those requests would cost much much more. And don't act like that's not fair!

RPSM219 karma

Did anyone showed up that thought you were just a regular massage parlor? How did it go down when you start to escalate things?

MewMewMuse396 karma

Hahaha, there was a fair share of guys who suspected something, but weren't sure.... and when I started to escalate things, this disbelieving joy would enter their face. It was hilarious. I really enjoyed those. After the session, they would be stunned and say things like they weren't sure if they imagined it.

But I don't think anyone ever came in thinking they were going to get an ordinary massage. We just weren't marketed that way. Guys who acted entirely innocent were probably undercover bylaw cops.

jdepps113197 karma

And guys who did come in and act completely innocent were usually undercover cops.

What would happen in those cases? I will admit to having no clue as to the legality of this sort of thing in Toronto.

Dommy73923 karma

They reported that more undercover work was needed.

ryanissognar23 karma

FREEEEEEZE!! IMA COWP!!

mitch_fwbsbpt92 karma

Here's some hhhhhnnnnggevidence

MewMewMuse53 karma

Came back just to tell you how hard I laughed at this

Joetato47 karma

guys who did come in and act completely innocent were usually undercover cops.

I'd be the one acting like that! Not an undercover cop, I feel like I'd just not be sure what it was and wouldn't wanna risk getting in trouble, so I'd probably act completely innocent just to be on the safe side, you know?

Good to know everyone would think I'm a cop, though. ugh.

MewMewMuse118 karma

Aw, poor thing! Don't worry, we're intuitive. We'd get the truth out of you easily enough. I did say "usually"; there are plenty of little potatoes like you who are obviously just nervous and unsure about what's going on.

su-p-per_trou-p-per34 karma

when I started to escalate things, this disbelieving joy would enter their face.

And guys who did come in and act completely innocent were usually undercover cops.

So like how did you escalate things for the undercover cops, to sort of gauge their response, without "arousing" suspicion?

MewMewMuse141 karma

Pro tip! Once they were on their backs instead of their stomachs, I would say, "it's hot in here... mind if I get comfortable like you?" and take my top off. Then I would lean close to their face while I massaged their torso. It's a pretty obvious invitation. Cops are really careful about not touching you, because if they do and then try to arrest you, you can turn it back on them and say they were clearly trying to buy sex, which makes them the criminals. So, generally a regular guy would start touching me or asking if he may. And then we'd be good to go!

Also, any time I met someone new I'd make small talk asking what they did, favourite parts of their job and day, that sort of thing. It's pretty easy to tell when someone's lying or making shit up on the spot, especially when they're naked and vulnerable. So, it got pretty easy.

Now all the bylaw officers in Toronto are reading this, going "hmm, I see, I see, how will I trick her next time...." Bring it on, chumps!

RagingBrows204 karma

Does that license say "body rubber"?

MewMewMuse248 karma

YES! Hahahah! It's great, makes me feel like Venom.

Predalienator68 karma

Venom? As in the Spiderman villain?

MewMewMuse231 karma

Yeah.... "body rubber" sounds like a symbiote parasite if I ever heard one, no?

bungle09415 karma

No, the band.

MewMewMuse20 karma

Hahahahaa

sirrush7162 karma

Were you ever worried about your safety or has anything scary happened? Did you guys have any bouncers or security in case?

MewMewMuse287 karma

Yes, there were really aggressive clients, bad people, and it could be frightening. I'm assertive and these aggressive people are usually cowards just pushing, hoping their opponent is not used to resisting. It is decidedly unsettling to walk that line of "I'm trying to negotiate, but I'm having to forcibly push you from me at the same time, and that is not a civilized nor safe feeling interaction".
Anyway. If it got worse, if they absolutely refused to tone it down, a girl could just walk out of the room. Safety first. If anyone ever tried to follow or hold her back (I myself never encountered nor witnessed this, but one should always be prepared), we had a police hotline (a hotline bling....), unlocked doors and thin enough walls that a commotion would be heard. No bouncers.

sortakindalikesyou136 karma

Why did you quit?

How did you view your customers? Your job?

MewMewMuse393 karma

The main reason I quit was because I worried making that much money could stop me pursuing tougher careers. Also, the spa was ridiculously inconvenient to commute to. Our transit sucks. So.... kind of a lame reason, but it took its toll.

Some customers were disabled, or really fat, really shy, or really busy. Those were my favourites. I had nothing against them, I could understand their desire for an experience that never was part of their life. They didn't come in with a bunch of money and a feeling of entitlement.

There were also people similar to me, maybe new to the city or new to sex, and I liked meeting them, too. They were just exploring, having fun, no malice.

But there were the entitled types, dumb ones, greedy and narrow-minded ones as well, who figured if they were paying a woman, they owned her body and soul for the duration of a session, and would act astonished to be told, "No, I'm providing you a service. Like in any other industry. It still has boundaries and I'm still a human, so act like it."

Didn't like those ones.

nunchukity96 karma

You quit because you were making too much money?! That's a problem I wish we had in common. What are you planning to pursue now and how are you going to fill out the "previous work experience" part of your CV?

MewMewMuse331 karma

I know.... I wish I had that problem again nowadays. But complacency is dangerous. There were girls in their late 30s who reaaaally didn't want to be there anymore, but were just too out of touch with the mainstream job market to go back. Didn't want to end up there. I'm a sound designer now, and work in indie video games. That's what I've always wanted to do! And considering the advocacy issues in gaming right now, it's been a helpful platform where I can be open about my past experiences and not have that ruin my professional cred.

NabiscoLobstrosity72 karma

I'm a sound designer now, and work in indie video games.

Your coolness factor just went through the roof. You should have mentioned that in the original post!

MewMewMuse112 karma

Ehhh, then people think I'm just talking myself up using reddit buzzwords. Thank you! I am pretty cool.......as far as Canadians go...... eh.

deputyshitbat23 karma

not to pry too much, but how'd you get into that field? I don't mean to sound like I'm doubting your abilities (because I'm not at all), but sound production in general is such a small field, and I always felt like the learning curve was so steep. Just curious how you got into that at a young age. thanks for answering all these!

MewMewMuse87 karma

Because I mentioned one of my professors, I don't want to give out the name of my school, but basically, as I mentioned, my background is in music, and when I moved, the lack of a piano was a constant hole in my life. Looking for alternatives, I got into synthesizers. Through synthesizers, I became interested in sonics and sound formation itself, and making digital music. So I sought out an audio engineering academy, and have loved every minute of it since!

Paid the $6K tuition all in cash, which remains one of my fondest memories.

Mr_d_williams133 karma

Do you see yourself as a sex worker?

MewMewMuse216 karma

Absolutely.

stopcallingmepeter124 karma

Do you have a SO? And do girls ever come in?

MewMewMuse135 karma

I lost two boyfriends this way, and now I date girls, who are much more understanding. :) Girls very rarely come in, especially on their own. It's too bad. I've gone to these places as a customer and it's a great time!

StarBeasting51 karma

You "lost" them? Did they know beforehand? If they did, what made them change their mind?

MewMewMuse113 karma

One of them knew beforehand, thought he would be okay with it, but eventually admitted he wasn't. I can understand it would be hard, to think of someone you love being, in your mind, disrespected all day. Or maybe he thought I was disrespecting him. Anyway, it was a civilized break up, though I do think people often value their emotions over the word of their partner who tries to assure them that sexy-times-as-work is 100% different from sexy-times-as-personal-pleasure.

The other one I started dating before I took this job, and ... it was weird; he worked in a strip club, so I thought he'd be cool with it. He wasn't. Oh well!

BoredUniStudent107 karma

Because someone is going to ask, it might as well be me.,

How does a person find out for sure if they are going to one of these places? Like how do they initiate that transaction? It's something I've never understood.

MewMewMuse123 karma

Oh, good question. Sorry I didn't see it earlier. Kind of hard to answer, because the "initiating that transaction" is often a subtle business full of innuendo.... for instance, someone mentioned the website: it clearly is selling something sexual, but it explicitly states we do not sell sex (and we don't). So understandably, people are both intrigued and confused.

Generally, a phone call is the first step.

I mean, no, the first step is a guy hearing about this thing and wondering about it.

Then he'll call and ask "So... what exactly are you selling?" and we'll answer with "sensual massage," "a sultry and invigorating experience," and other such euphemisms. We urge the guy to come in right away to meet with the girls... the way we're dressed and the vibe of the place is a bit of a cue. Every step of the way, we firmly say "We are not full service, but you will find what you're looking for in other ways..."

How can you not want to follow up on that? Ultimately, there's only one way the guy finds out the specifics for sure: he books a session.

Frequently you still end up with guys who are still clueless and hopeful as the massage starts, and then it's a coy game between the masseuse trying not to get arrested while remaining sexy, and the guy trying to get off, while being too shy to say "please touch my penis".

BoredUniStudent27 karma

Thanks for the reply. I fall into that clueless category. I'd have no idea, and frankly too damn shy, to try and find out which places near me (Vancouver area) would offer this.

Silly add on question.. What are the odds of finding an RMT who would perform those services? Would be awesome to get coverage as well Hahah!

MewMewMuse53 karma

It's a much better approach to find a sensual masseuse who's also an RMT than the other way around. If an RMT was comfortable doing sex work, she probably would be, because it pays better for less work. You wouldn't go to your doctor and ask, hey, while I have my pants off, can you jerk me off? Would you? Nah. That's not what they're there for. That's what I'm there for.

There are some good places in Vancouver. :D Happy hunting...

o1ekingcole100 karma

Have you ever seen someone you dated come in to your shop?

MewMewMuse386 karma

Even better-- I took a college course while I was still working, and a guest professor came in for a month, a highly respected man in his field. We locked eyes. I knew him. He knew.

That was a good course.

beer_demon92 karma

How important is your massage technique?
Do customers value a good massage or just want a quick wank?
Have customer candidly gone for a massage, say some wrong key word and jumped when you go further?
What "code" is there? Does the customer request masturbation or guide your hand or do you experiment to see how far they want to go?

MewMewMuse173 karma

How good a girl is at massage is more or less up to her, and the people who came in were of allll different types. Yep, some customers wanted a good massage from a naked lady and not much more, some guys wanted to dress up like a baby, play a boombox, and smell someone's feet (true story).

Girls would gain reputations and fanbases for the things they were good at and liked to do. The level of control the workers had that way was really nice; our bosses wouldn't recommend a guy with extravagant fetishes to a girl who specialized in vanilla sensuality.

The "code" part is interesting, because we were always very cautious about undercover cops who would try to bust us for prostitution (which is silly, because we genuinely did not do sex. By-law cops just get power hungry sometimes and liked to intimidate us.) So if you had a new customer, you would typically start off just reading their body language, how comfortable they were when your hand went to sensitive areas, etc. And you would ask, "what kind of fun are you wanting to have today?", "what are you imagining right now?" etc.

Rob_T_Firefly129 karma

cops just get power hungry sometimes and liked to intimidate us

And/or they liked the excuse to avail themselves of your services on the department's expense account.

MewMewMuse91 karma

Oh, definitely.

FULL_ON_OPs_MOM28 karma

The guy who wanted to play a boombox... what music did he want to play? Was it MC Maniac by any chance?

MewMewMuse97 karma

Ooooo I wish. It was some kind of weird Euro disco.... and he would gyrate on the floor and slap his ass, giving me sultry eyes. The only requirement of us was to not laugh, or to cover it up with, "I laugh when I'm turned on". :S Who knows if he bought that.... who really knows anything that dude thought...

AlrightStopHammatime80 karma

How much for a ZJ?

MewMewMuse37 karma

What's that, a state in the US?

cc810169 karma

How do other people treat you when they learn of your work, what kind of stigma does it have for you?

MewMewMuse160 karma

The people I've told have either been at a loss for words and never talked about it again, or been super, super into it. But I'm discriminate about who I tell. I know some of my close friends and family would see me as severely diminished, and my oldest brother would probably never speak to me again. Which is really too bad, because it's a big part of my life and contained some valuable life lessons that the people who view it with such stigma would probably benefit in learning from.

Oh, and it's bad for resumes. :( very, very bad for resumes. Especially if I wanted to work with children. Which I don't.

LincSnow69 karma

Were clients exclusively male? Were your co-workers all exclusively female?

MewMewMuse50 karma

99% yes, and yes.

HeyMewMew56 karma

I was at Muse twice yesterday! I guess my question is, do you have any tips for people going in? How can I keep the girls happy, so they make me happy in return? I'd really love to know.

MewMewMuse47 karma

Haha, the whole thread response to this is wonderful. Yes, just genuinely pay attention to the girl, ask what she enjoys, and try to make it a mutually enjoyable experience. If you want to be spoiled and not worry about her, that's perfectly fine too-- just let her know, and pay her nicely.

Oh, and please shower well. If you have BO, be aware of it and try to diminish it as much as you can.

I hoped a Muse-goer would stop by! May you have many wonderful experiences.

HeyMewMew15 karma

Thank you! I'm very new to Muse so I really appreciate the advice. I PMed you about something else also but I'm really loving these pointers. How much is a good tip? I'm a college student so I'm not loaded :)

MewMewMuse16 karma

For a half hour session, a $20 tip is just great. And I would also recommend just not doing the $40 or $60 sessions.... they're far inferior to a bodyslide anyway, and when a girl is used to $80/half an hour, it can be frustrating to be using that time of your day for half the pay!

Long story short, getting a body slide and NOT tipping is fine, too. Just don't do those $40 sessions. Don't be that guy. You're both just missing out that way. :)

Icewaved47 karma

Can you give us a run down of your average day while at the Spa? I.e.: how many customers would you see a day? What's the protocol for clean up and STI prevention? Any legal issues on a daily basis?

MewMewMuse180 karma

All right. Day Shift, exhibit A.

8 AM, Spa opens. The 5 or 6 girls on shift are sitting in the dressing room gossiping, sleeping, reading, putting on make up, griping, etc. I've got an appointment first thing in the morning, which is bizarre. Who needs their dick tugged first thing in the morning, before work? Lots of people, apparently.

11 AM - My favourite coworker is on shift today! I didn't realize, because she was late and came in while I was in session. When we see each other in the change room, she immediately takes my top off to bite my nipples, then spanks me. Awesome.

2 PM - I've been in sessions all day and am starving. My next appointment is at 3. Hooray, I can go get a falafel next door! ...As I'm walking down the hallway, the doorbell rings. It's a walk-in customer! Noooo! I must scurry back to the change room, change back into my little outfit, and clomp with the rest of the high-heeled tribe down to the lobby, where our customer is waiting. We all parade in with smiles, shake his hand, say, "Hello, I'm X," and clomp out again. (There's a lot of clomping. We sound like a herd of horses.) I put out my hand limply, barely smile, go, "Hey. Julez," and don't make eye contact, because I want to go eat.

3 PM - From a room next door, there is a crash and a scream. Later, I will find out that a girl was sliding over our fattest regular, and at the zenith of his enormous belly, she lost her balance, slid on the oil, and cascaded right over his face and onto the floor from the bench.

4:45 PM - Almost closing time! Yay!! I've had 6 appointments today, some of which were quite long, and made almost $1000. It's a good day! My average is $800/shift. I just want to go home and wash my hair, which as usual is now super greasy. A lot of girls are conservative about how greasy or wet they get their faces and hair. I myself dgaf. I like to get in the zone. But now I'm ready to leave the zone. But what's this? The receptionist enters the dressing room and looks straight at me. My heart sinks. "You have an appointment!" she says, with a grin, because she's a sadist. "He's booked you for 2 hours."

NOOOOOOOO

<end scene>

collegeguy149218 karma

When you say you made $800/shift, does that mean you kept that? or what was how much the clients paid, and the parlour took x% of that?

I'm pretty familiar with the Toronto scene (more familiar with escorts actually, never done a massage session), and didn't think masseuses made quite that much, considering the parlour cut and the lower prices for non-full service.

MewMewMuse30 karma

Kept it. The door fee was a separate fee handled by someone else; I'm just talking about my own general earnings, but for myself I had some wonderful, loyal regulars who would tip on top of their session fees. There are base rates, but sometimes a regular would pay significantly more to.... show his loyalty, gratitude, dominance. Anyway, personal experience. Earnings for different girls vary, clearly.

Edited for privacy.

Mr_d_williams41 karma

What makes calling it Rub & Tug a lowbrow? Surely that is more accurate description than a 'Spa Girl'?

MewMewMuse511 karma

It is accurate. It can be accurate and lowbrow. Like ordering mutton at a fancy restaurant and being like, "I'd like a chunk of dead sheep." It's not wrong! But euphemisms exist to make us feel like complex, civilized people, especially during primal acts.

lunatic_minge21 karma

Thank you so much for coming on today and sharing your experience and your thoughts. You seem to be readily aware why it's important and why Reddit is a good platform, and you clearly have experience deflecting and responding to classic assumptions about sex industry and sexuality itself. Nice to see- thanks again <3

MewMewMuse16 karma

Thanks for your kind words and appreciation! I do adore Reddit for discussions just such as this. It's nice to see the reactions when it's a lot of positivity winning out.

Rykzon37 karma

Yay for being to first AMA I catch live.

Do your parents know how you earn your living now? How did they react when you told them?

Does your pay depend on the type of massage you give or is it a fixed rate?

MewMewMuse61 karma

Congrats!

My mom knows that I worked as a dominatrix, but not about this job. For some reason, this is the one I don't think she'd handle well. Possibly because there's nothing anything like it where she's from, and she'd probably construct a lot of untrue details about what it entails in her mind. So, she'd be okay with it, but she would worry and be sad, so I don't think I'll tell her.

Oh, and her reaction about the other job was a laugh and "I'm not surprised."

The pay does vary. $80/half hour for the standard body slide (just what it sounds like). Personalized kinks, domme sessions, etc, all flat rate plus price negotiated with the girl.

Joetato11 karma

At what point do you negotiate something like that? Before You even touch the guy, during it? After the massage but before the sexy stufF?

MewMewMuse17 karma

Mm, it was all negotiated during. How much you told a guy and how quickly all depended on how trustworthy he seemed.

They would already be instructed to take their clothes off and wait for the masseuse on the table. So a new session always starts with a regular massage. Then I would just coax newcomers along after 5 minutes or so of letting them get used to that with, "Would you like to touch me as well? Would you like me to join you on the table?" ... those are pretty easy milestones for the pricing. And if he went, "yes, yes, both," then I'd let him know it would be $80 for the session that way, and we'd get on with it.

If he said no, then I'd go down the other track of questions: "So what kind of massage are you looking for; firm or gentle; oil, baby powder, vinegar?" (Gotta keep them paying attention)

stopcallingmepeter31 karma

Do some guys smell, uh, too bad to work with? Like are there some clients due to either hair or smell you just can't help?

MewMewMuse117 karma

Oh god, yes. When a client comes in, he is given ~10 min to undress, shower, lie down and start daydreaming. With some guys, this was by far not enough. When I became more comfortable with my job I would not hesitate to say, "Honey, you smell. Go take a shower WITH SOAP, because I can tell you didn't." Other girls would be more subtle and just douse them in 5 lbs of baby powder. I know one girl who got so frustrated with a client's smell that she FEBREZE'D HIM. Such a hero.

OH, and since I'm on this topic.... it's a powerful one.... we had some special sessions called "candy coated", which involved edibles, syrups, fun stuff like that. Except it's usually only fun for the guy, because girls are nice and smooth and fun to lick things off of. For the girls? It's a daunting task to have a hairy chested, and/or smelly man drizzle syrup all over his unshaven regions and expect you to lap it up. <gag>

jollydonutpirate27 karma

As a fellow past music student, I have to ask, do you still perform? (Piano, not.. The body rubbing) And if yes, has it taken an impact on your musical career?

MewMewMuse43 karma

I still perform! Can't say this job had an impact on my musical career in terms of the music part specifically. I did mention though, it's bad for resumes. Applying at fancy places is always a toss up of, "Do I tell them and hope they're liberal minded, or do I come across as having been unemployed for 4 years?" For the most part, though, music gigs are more interested in a demo reel than a resume, and artists being unemployed for 4 years doesn't raise too many eyebrows. ;_;

jules_fait_fer25 karma

Why is Toronto so full of rub and tugs? do we have some special sex work laws or just a lot of dicks that need tugging? They're absolutely everywhere around my work near dufferin and finch.

MewMewMuse24 karma

I've looked into the dirty ones. It's an entirely different kind of business. There are places that exist and reek of desperation, people who have no skills or opportunities and need money, any amount for any service; and there are places started by educated businesswomen and -men who want to create a valuable product.

It's an easy thing to start up with little to no quality control, I guess. I certainly see no appeal in going to those places, either, but as long as there are customers, they'll keep being made.

And there are a lot of dicks that want tugging, so.... there are still customers.

The draw of the high end places is beyond dick tugging, though. It's long-term "relationships" with classy, mysterious and immaculate women. Or it's just a very well-executed, full-body tingling physical joyride. Or it's the environment of a room that is so alien from everything else in your day to day life. Etc, etc.

kfrymoney22 karma

How did u learn about your kinks? Did u sleep with any customers?

MewMewMuse78 karma

Didn't sleep with any, no. We were strictly non-sex, though anything else was fair game. And I had no interest in sleeping with my customers. For some reason there's a line between that and other acts.... purely arbitrary and socially constructed, I'm sure, but it still has a hold on me.

My kinks, though, mostly are non-penetrative. There's endless possibilities! So when you started getting comfortable with a repeat customer, and you're both there for the sole purpose of having a good, sexy time... obviously that's if the customer is one who wants their masseuse to be having a good time too, which is not rare... well, you experiment, you have low inhibitions, and you figure stuff out. :)

enimodas34 karma

that's pretty vague. Can you be more specific?

MewMewMuse212 karma

I like receiving oral. And gentle bites down my thighs. And fingers on the back of my neck that move sooo slowly across my jawline, to rub my lips as I whisper.... "is this specific enough, enimodas? You like the glow of this computer screen?"

Shareoff10 karma

You say you are strictly non-sex, but uh.. I apologize for my ignorance but what counts as "sex", exactly? Do you mean penetration? Are blowjobs off the chart (aka oral sex)? Obviously hand jobs aren't off limits.

MewMewMuse21 karma

I'm going on the pretty clinical definition of penetration = sex, to try and draw a clear line. I do still call this sex work, though, because it's all sexually motivated. Blowjobs are totally off the charts! Or so I hear! ... Oh, you mean off-limits. No, not really. But not a lot of girls want to do them, because they're way grosser than just touching someone with your hands.

woundmantv22 karma

Are you attractive? Be honest. I find a lot of the time there's this facade that everyone is a playboy bunny, then you get there and the reality is everyone is meh, or average.

MewMewMuse64 karma

Haha. Yes, I am. Some of the less attractive girls are definitely some of the best, though, because they might work harder to compensate.

I got a review saying I was cute/funny but not DDG (drop dead gorgeous) when I started out, and it really hit my self esteem for a while. Which is stupid, but I can't help it. But, I did still have some baby fat and a bad haircut when I started, and as the years passed, my reviews became much more glowing.

Some of my favourites (which I have obviously memorized) were: "has a body that won't let you blink your eyes", and, "she looks like the hottest girl you have classes with and always want to get with but also suspect she must be crazy because she's hot but reads alone a lot" (did this person know me or what)

SpittinWheelie21 karma

What services are all offered?

MewMewMuse31 karma

Naked massage where you don't get to touch but you get off at the end, naked massage where you DO get to touch and get off at the end, body slides, boob slides, candy coateds, duo showers, fetish play, foot play, two or three girls working on you, bondage....

thenudeaway20 karma

How does seeing so many dicks on a regular basis affect how you view dicks?

MewMewMuse44 karma

HAH! Oh, it desensitized me pretty quickly. It was fascinating at times! They are so extremely diverse! It did give me some long-standing nausea responses to the smell of cum. Carrying a load of towels full of semen; emptying out a trash can that is full of nothing but cum-soaked tissue.......eeeeeruuuuugghgh! I don't think I'll ever be able to stamp that out of my memory. :(

Sorry, that wasn't the question, was it? Anyway, I'm certainly unfazed by dick pics on Tinder now.

StereotypeLumberjack18 karma

You mentioned undercover cops. Is a massage parlour like that legal?

MewMewMuse24 karma

There's some discussion about this going on in the top comments. :) We were legal, but were (rightfully) suspected of not being legal, since unlicensed sex sellers are certainly abundant in this field.

AvoLampy17 karma

What was your favourite or most memorable moment from working at the parlour?

MewMewMuse84 karma

My favourite moment.... hmmm...... it might have been a session when I was just starting, and my favourite coworker, an experienced, wild, insanely beautiful and totally bisexual lady and I were called in together, and so for two hours she ravaged me while the guy watched. That was my first girl on girl experience, and it was incredible. And then I got paid. Is this the reeeal liiiiife, is this just fantasyyyyy (it's both)

EDIT: Haha I remembered a way better memory and wanted to share. Vendors would come by, selling knock-off brand name accessories, shoes and lingerie sometimes. One day a guy came by with the usual big cardboard box and we let him in to check it out. What was he selling? Bubble guns. Light-up bubble guns, with lazer pointer scopes, which flashed and made "pewpewpewpew!" noises when you shot them. What were we going to do, bring them into sessions to shock and baffle? I want an AmA from this guy who sold them to us, actually. Anyway, still got mine. Love it.

Eamondoh12 karma

Have you ever stayed in 'close' contact with one of your customers?

MewMewMuse45 karma

Yes, two. One of them is my partner in crime... we go to spas together. He doesn't pay me, but he pays for both our entrance. I never expected I would be into this recreationally for myself, but now I know!

The other, an elderly guy, now teaches me dance and has lent me a bunch of Hindu texts. He's pretty sure we were together in a past life. He only came to the spa once, and met me. Turns out it wasn't really his thing, but it's cool that we met each other, as we've got a lot in common.

StinkyBeer11 karma

What drew you to Toronto, and how was your experience shaped by the city itself? Did you ever feel unsafe? What did you end up doing after?

MewMewMuse21 karma

I really wanted to see what a city was like. Where I'm from has 200 people and is 6 hours from the nearest town of > 5000, so seeing skyscrapers in real life, and walking Bay street, were significant culture shocks. The surreal feeling of being new to the city definitely played a part in my joining the sex industry. Because I already felt so much like I were living in a strange parallel universe, I already was acutely aware of the facades city people present to each other (and I don't mean that in a negative way)... it all just felt like one more part of a big game I had started to play. It's neat. I still feel that way a lot.

No, I never did feel unsafe. For similar reasons. Maybe I'm a bit deluded, but I've lived a risky life and have been pretty convinced of "no risk, no reward" and "pushing your boundaries to conquer fear" in a number of situations-- hitchhiking and all that. I advocate caution, but it seemed to me that a lot of my coworkers were much more frightened and neurotic than they needed to be-- like when we finished working at 1 in the morning and there are wide, empty streets around the spa. I took public transit home and people thought I was nuts. But nothing ever happened to me. They just wasted a lot of money on cabs.

But hey, everyone's gotta do what makes them feel safe and happy.

I'm a sound designer for video games now. :) And I might do some naughty work on the side occasionally....

StinkyBeer12 karma

Awesome! Thanks for the insightful response -- this is a far more interesting AMA to me than the flush of celebrity ones these days. It's always engaging to really hear how others who've lived very different lives see the world. Thanks for doing this AMA, and I'm glad you're in a career related to your original interests as well!

MewMewMuse7 karma

Thank you! And you're welcome! And thank you. :D

Hope_Burns_Bright10 karma

So, you've mentioned that this isn't the best thing to put on a resume, but you've also expressed that you've enjoyed the job. Given that, is this a career choice that you would recommend?

Also, this may have an obvious answer, but are there "Spa Guys" who service women?

MewMewMuse40 karma

Working at Muse did give me a lot of independence, it gave me a lot of physical enjoyment, and it got me very interested in learning the ins and outs (teehee) of power dynamics in cities and what role sex plays in that. So it was a very, very valuable experience. But it also completely ignored the things that make me truly worthwhile as a human-- artistic abilities, a capable brain, studies in environmentalism, the capacity to raise animals... it's an industry that truly only values women insofar as they can make men sexually happy. And making others happy is a good thing in conjunction with others,but it's certainly not the noblest or most useful endeavour in life. It's so limiting, and undermining.

So no. In our global environment, I would absolutely not recommend it as a career choice. But I would recommend it as a "make money quickly as a stepping stone to try to get somewhere where you are fulfilled and can serve the world with all your potential; and/or as a learning experience about humans and your own sexuality" choice.

pilotoatomico9 karma

If you had to massage a composer, which one would it be?

MewMewMuse24 karma

Easily Chopin! Fav composer, and he had the most beautiful hands. I want them on me. I imagine he smellt good, too. Although not anymore, being a skeleton nowadays. :( What's your answer to this?

the_last_fartbender15 karma

Oooh could you massage my Bach for a minuet?

MewMewMuse25 karma

I could Handel you until you are largo!

donsky138 karma

Curious about undercover cops. Any stories you're willing to share?

MewMewMuse40 karma

Either they would come in undercover (and I only ever had one session where I suspected the guy was a cop, and gave him a boring, regular massage for 30 min... he was all confused at the end, so I guess it was a wrong call on my end, hah), or they would come in and do a "raid", which was THE WORST.

Raids would be these two douchebags who would come in, flash their badges, and then go to the nearest doors and start banging on them. It's horrible! In the middle of a session, both naked and grinding around, and that starts happening? They would also try to open the door, which pissed us all off, because they are NOT allowed to do that. We would, of course, lock the doors, and it would became a big circle of the cops going "You're not allowed to lock the doors," and us going, "You're not allowed to come in without permission, so how do you know the door was locked?"

So, they'd knock relentlessly, and we'd immediately scramble to put our clothes on, going sweetly "Who is it?" and getting no response, because they want to trick you. It's very very stressful.

I got busted once, because we were out of towels in my room and I had asked the receptionist to bring us some. So when the knocks started, I thought it was towels, and opened the door naked..... saw the cop, tried to close the door, and he barrelled his way into the room to start interrogating me. Not fun. Still makes me angry to think about it.

The customer just slunk off. And that's the other bit! The cops didn't care about the customers! They just wanted to bust us! There is no justice in that. If they were really trying to end prostitution, with any sort of philanthropic purpose, they would hold the customers accountable for perpetuating this industry, too.

poeticmatter7 karma

You sound like someone who enjoyed their line of work, but there are many that it takes a serious toll on them. Do you think sex work should be legal to accommodate people like you, or illegal to "save" people that in your situation feel obligated to turn to sex work, and it would destroy them?

MewMewMuse44 karma

Legality and illegality is not the solution. Sex work should be legal, but people should absolutely never have to turn to it because they have no other option. Unfortunately, this is the case in many situations, and that's what needs to be addressed.

There need to be more, attainable and popularized alternatives for young women to make their livings and gain independence, and fewer girls who grow up never feeling encouraged in anything but their attractiveness and sex appeal. Who grow up feeling respected and needed by the whole world around them. More commercialized media portraying both men and women as complex, incredible humans. More people taking women seriously in professional fields and not trying to put them in a lower place to ease their own insecurities. People need to respect others as human beings before they start thinking of them with sexual desire.

I do believe the sex industries are by and large a harmful aspect of our society, because we have not yet met these goals. Many people grow up watching porn, or hell, non-porn, and a lot of it, where women exist almost exclusively to be fucked, to be owned, or at least to just look pretty.

But making sex work illegal will not ever cease these things from happening, it will only further endanger these very same people who will now have to worry about being persecuted by the law for the simple fact of society having already failed and cornered them.

Thanks for asking. It is the most important part of any discussion about sex work, and I don't ever want to come across as doing this job with apathy or no thought to its impact on the world.

erickluv6 karma

Has a guy ever cried during?

MewMewMuse25 karma

Not during, but after. It was really sad. I took him for lunch later and we talked about it and it turned out he really shouldn't have been there. :( But I think he's much better off now, knowing this about himself.

FlashFlip5 karma

Would people give you tips? Like "great job, here's an extra $50", or was everything covered in the other fee?

MewMewMuse5 karma

Yes, they would. Lovely people!

LurkLurkleton3 karma

I've always wondered, do you or anyone else you work with cater to women?

MewMewMuse3 karma

I would! And plenty women I've worked with would be so into it. But women are not common customers.

CupcakeOverdose2 karma

It's awesome that there are places like these for men, do you think there's some type of female equivalent to a rub and tug? If so, how do u think it'd work?

MewMewMuse5 karma

There aren't, really. The closest equivalents are gay strip clubs, or very niche organizations. There's nothing so universally accepted in the way of selling sex for women as there is for men. It was through this job that I really started exploring feminism, actually. Because the roles of men and women in this industry are very solidly polarized, and there's no reason for it besides the false belief that men enjoy or require sex in a way that women don't share.

Jonaldson2 karma

Was the entire focus on the handjob? Did you have to receive any training for the non-handjob massage part?

MewMewMuse3 karma

Yeah, we received some actual massage training from a RMT, were shown how to "body slide", and were supplied with quite a few excellent video and book resources on seduction, tantra, BDSM, and deflowering prostates.