I teach rope bondage. AMA!

How many times do you use the term "show you the ropes" during the day?

I prefer to say that I happily would, but I'm a little tied up at the moment.

Who'd you rather tie up--Harry Potter or Ronald Weasley?

hmmm,

I prefer to tie people who suffer with grace, men and women alike. I imagine Harry would take the torture elegantly, big green eyes stubbornly watering from time to time, shock of dark hair falling over his face in suspension. Harry would push himself, demand that his body find the edge with me. I don't think Ron would go as far, only because I don't think Ron would be as capable of exploring and sitting with suffering for a greater cause as Harry would be.

What's the most common mistake people make?

Bad tension.

Consistent even tension across your wraps makes the bondage safer, more sustainable, more attractive, and more durable in suspension. Unevenly tensioned wraps can result in one wrap taking the strain instead of two, cutting into the bottom more, focusing the load on the one spot rather than distributing it, and potentially raising the risk of nerve damage. It also from a bottoms perspective feels sloppy, and makes me wonder whether the person tying truly has the control and focus necessary to make me feel safe submitting to them.

At first, I figured you were someone who has decided to become an expert in being kinky as fuck.

After reading that paragraph, I'm now I'm pretty sure you're just trying to find other uses for your skills as a highly trained solo-round-the-world sailor.

As a sailor, I'm jealous of OP's skills.

As OP, I'm jealous of your sailing. I have no fucking clue how to operate a boat.

How did you get into this?

I was bartending in a dungeon as a favour to a friend during a pre-party for a huge bondage show. One the riggers present asked the owner of the space if he could borrow the bartender, owner said yes. He asked me, I figured "eh, why not, he's pretty cute", and found myself in a rather unexpected inversion from a frogged leg (futomomo tsuri). We've been together 4 years now, and bondage has totally become my focus in life.

What 's the best advice you could give to someone who wants to learn rope bondage?

Find a local group- the best information and access to news about local education, cons and visiting presenters flows through the experienced riggers in the scene. As much as one might hate social media, a fetlife account is also kind of necessary to gain access to the kind of information you need to learn bondage at a high level.

What are some of the first / most important things or tips you tell a newbie just starting out?

Practice your single column religiously on your own ankles, work on tension from the start, and compress your frictions.

Cool. This is very practical pragmatic advice.

I actually expected you to give a philosophical safety answer, along the lines of "All guns are loaded" for teaching beginners gun safety. (Got anything like that as well?)

Learn your fucking anatomy so you don't give someone wrist drop (radial nerve damage), and when you do inevitably give someone wrist drop don't be a dick about it. Give aftercare, get them ice and anti-inflammatories, follow up in the weeks after the injury, and don't hate yourself too much-we've all been there.

Do most ways of tying someone up involve the risk of wrist drop? Is there a specific thing that most likely leads to it? It seems so specific and yet you mention it as if everyone in bondage will most likely experience it.

If you're going to be working towards bondage that involves a suspension from a Takate Kote, which is often one of the goals of new riggers getting into shibari, you're going to have to accept that do enough Takate Kotes and you'll give someone drop.

Wrist drop is what happens when the radial nerve is impinged in the arm. The most common, and in many ways easiest to work with tie for the upper body in shibari-style bondage exposes the nerve due to the position of the arms, and then places wraps that will take a good portion of the load of the body in the air right above and below the most vulnerable spot on the arm. Get the placement wrong, get the placement right with bad tension, get everything perfect and your harness deforms from lots of transitions in the air-bam, wrist drop. I've even heard of cases where mild drop has occurred from Takate Kote tied on the ground.

To give you an idea of what a huge problem nerve injuries at the suspension level of things are, I've never met a bottom who's been in the scene doing bondage at this level for more than 3 years who hasn't had at least one nerve injury. Of those bottoms, well over half of them had experienced wrist drop. In a room full of 50 bottoms, over half had experienced two injuries from bondage. Its a problem. We're working on it.

Can you explain what a single column is and how to tie it?

A single column tie is a tie which captures a single "column" ie a wrist, an ankle, a thigh, waist, both hands stacked together, etc. Its does so in a way that does not tighten down, and is thus a non-self tightening tie. A examples of popular ones:

the Somerville Bowline

the boola boola

The boola is probably the most popular, but can be unstable if the tension is incorrect or the knot not compressed enough (if using jute it should "squeak"). the Somerville is gaining in popularity, its downsides being more complicated directional fingering, and being so awesome at holding tension it can be difficult to unpick. I use both, as each has their best applications.

What does it mean to compress your frictions?

Frictions work by the rope coming into contact with itself, thus creating friction. If you are just loosely passing the rope around itself in the shape of the friction without snugging it down onto itself, you're not building a friction, you're just decorating your rope with some interesting non-functional swirl patterns. Same goes for hitches, bends, any knot, anything mean to hold tension. if you can see space in your hitch, if your munter isn't tightly closed, its not working effectively.

So to reiterate your advice, keep your knots snug and don't leave random loops in your ropework? Thanks for answering questions!

if you're going to add a friction (to hold tension, secure something, as a decorative element), make sure it's actually a friction. if it's just rope making the shape of a friction without actually being compressed enough to create friction, then its not really working as a friction.

Holy fuck this is confusing.

Its really hard to describe the function of a friction in rope, and what a good vs incorrect friction is with having rope in hand to show you. If it wasn't so late I would be almost tempted to make a quick video... but I'm going to go to bed instead :P

What safe words do you use?

Standard stoplight for heavy scenes, but when I'm doing dynamic suspension bondage is a bit different. I don't often yellow or red, instead relying on a minute count.

For example, if I say 5 minutes, that's 5 minutes until I need a transition or to come down. That's roughly enough time to add one more accent to the tie, spin me for the crowd (if performing), and start moving to untie into the next pose. 2 minutes means spin and start moving. 8 means do whatever, I'll let you know when it becomes 5, no time given means I can hang out for 20min+, longest has been 1.5 hours. Occasionally I'll add a note such as "5 minutes, 8 if you move that line digging into my shin"

This this is essentially communicating degrees of yellow and red, but communicates more about the bondage to the rigger. It's necessary due to the complicated nature of what we do at the highest levels of bondage, because unlike a whipping where you can stop instantly, you have to assume it's going to take around 2 minutes for the thing you're experiencing to change or end.

I never really though about that. It's something that'll take 2 minutes to stop. It sounds like communication is especially important in bondage.

Hugely, hugely important. And that 2 minutes is a top notch rigger working at full speed. New riggers doing their first transitions generally need more. More complicated up lines that are joined at many points for aesthetic or tension purposes might need more. If accent lines have been added off of main load bearing lines you might need more. Tops and bottoms alike have to be excellent communicators in order to keep each other safe.

Isn't that pool scene kind of dangerous?

I'm all for kinky shit but drowning is not fun....and I'm guessing being convicted of drowning someone wouldn't be either :/

I guess the question is do you agree with that style of dominance? Seems super unsafe.

All bondage is dangerous. Some more than others, the mitigating factors being the knowledge and safety practices of the people involved. That pool scene involved true professionals, and thus was probably less dangerous than some far less risky suspension scenes I've seen where the individuals involved were tying above their skill level.

Most awkward place you've gotten rope burn?

Most awkward? Probably my asshole/crack region. Given that one a few times too. Oops?

Worst current ropeburn? Right along the underside of both my tits as the result of a high reverse prayer breast crushing suspension harness that I had to hang out in for a while as part of a performance. So. Itchy.

Honestly (though I believe it), "high reverse prayer breast crushing suspension harness" sounds made up on the spot.

Somewhere there is a video of me performing in it as Shelly the Nymphomaniac during an American Horror Story themed show.

Seems you'd be a fan of hydrocortisone + aloe cream? Aveeno and the other product companies make them; they can be a fantastic help.

I wonder if talc or cornstarch power might help prevent such burns, although the white powder wouldn't be all that nice aesthetically...

plus you generally want to avoid combining that with the rope.

On burns there's a swedish cream I like to use, its called Decubal and it's excellent. Was introduced one Shibaricon by a lovely swedish rigger friend and have been hooked ever since.

I just got my sub her first anal hook. Any simple ties you can recommend for a guy who doesn't do rope very often?

Larks head through the eye of the anal hook, secured tightly around the waist. You can pass back around the front with a happy knot on the clit if you don't mind washing the rope!

Alternately double column the wrists, up over behind the head, pass the running end of the remaining rope through the eye of the hook, and secure back up the stem you've created with half hitches or sword hilt wrapping with the ends tucked. Enjoy watching her arms tire as she tries to find ways of lowering them without fucking herself.

With more experience comes more fun sadistic things, if you ever find me at a convention I'll be happy to share them, just not over the Internet!

I know jute is preferred when suspension is involved, due to it's lack of stretch. What is your second choice of material for rope where suspension isn't involved?

still jute ;) It moves beautifully quickly, with great snap, and the texture of well conditioned jute is fantastic.

Hemp moves too slowly for my taste, its like trying to swing dance with someone who doesn't give you that little bit of pushback. Theres no communication or grace to the interaction.

Linen is ok, its heavy and the frictions don't compress and hold terribly well, but it feels nice on the skin. Same for silk.

I personally choose not to use synthetic rope for a myriad of reasons. It doesn't hold knots or frictions as well, it can cause serious rope burn if drawn too quickly across the skin, it doesn't have the same tactile feedback for the bottom that natural fibre does, it doesn't bite into the skin as nicely, and it doesn't (in my opinion) photograph as well. Upside to synthetic include the fact that its cheap, easily accessible, comes in fun colours, and the slip can make escaping from ties easier and more fun for folks who enjoy that.

(Repost from the original comment chain.)

So can you enlighten me on the takate kote, or as I'm told in the western world is referred to as a box tie? It's one of my favorites, especially when used for breast bondage.

Specifically, this form that's used on Sharon Engert when she appeared on insex. I've seen similar ties where the arms are folded at the small of the back, though every tutorial I've seen does not have the ropes going beneath the armpit and up and over behind the neck. I've seen one form that does, but it involves the elbows and wrists tied together and straight behind, whereas you can clearly see that Sharon's elbows are folded behind her. Is this a different tie, a hybrid of the two, or what? It's a popular tie you see all the time on kink.com and other western sites.

Phew, ok, this is a big one.

the Takate Kote (TK as I'll refer to it from here) isn't one pattern. Its a class of ties that bind the hands behind the back in a high position. There are loads of variations on what is often the standard form of two wraps above the breast, two below, kanukis on both or just the bottom lines, and variations on the 3rd rope (often the Mount Fuji pattern is the one people in the west are most familiar with.)

If the hands are high, its a tk. If the hands are low crossed at the small of the back, to my understanding this is a simple gote. The TK specifically refers the to positioning of the hands, and if they're not restrained high on the back, its not a TK.

The elbows and wrist tied together straight behind that you're describing is called a strappado. Its a highly strenuous position at it puts a lot of demand on the shoulders and chest, especially if you load it. I also by nature restricts the circulation to arms and hands, so most people find even with it perfectly tied, eventually their hands will fall asleep.

The one on Sharon Engert looks to me like a (rather sloppily tied, if I'm being honest) variation on a hojujitsu style high hands TK. Note the single wraps around each arm acting as cuffs rather than bands across the chest. The fact that her lower arms and hands are clearly losing circulation would be the other clue, as hojo style cuffs are tight to the arm and wrists, and rather more dangerous.

A good example of a more classical true high hands TK can be seen here, in Naka Akira's work tying Gorgone

Very interesting! Thanks! That photo shoot and video basically encompass everything insex stood for: it goes from more complex rope like those pics to harsher forms of leather restraint. Definitely one of my favorite set of pics.

So in summary, the TK is a collection of ties. I found an interesting tutorial on it, but I liked the shoulder ropes, which this lacks.

Ah- I cannot recommend this TK. Perhaps it is one I have simply not encountered before, but I see a myriad of concerning features, and it seems to incorrectly cobble together a few features from various other TKs. As well, that extension is just.. just bad.

A word of warning. Please don't learn a TK on the internet. As a class of ties they are dangerous, responsible for the vast majority of nerve injuries I see, and require hands-on instruction of the subtleties of tension in order for them to be safe and function as designed. I have personally taken 10 hours of private tuition on with one of the Japanese Bakushi on just his version of a TK, and it is still far from perfect, light years away from the precision he ties with. You cannot learn a TK correctly from pictures or video, and anyone who tells you otherwise lacks the understanding of the intricacies of tension to teach it to you anyways.

Well, you're the pro. It's not like I'm actively training or anything...but if I ever meet someone with a similar interest, I'd be open to learning more seriously.

If you'd like to learn more seriously, I strongly encourage you to find someone in person to teach you anything beyond the basics. Fetlife is your friend here :)

I used to be a part of the bondage scene a few years back, but as a Japanese-American, I felt really uncomfortable with the way Japanese language and culture was used. Speaking with a couple of Japanese people who floated through, the general response I got was, "Well, this isn't Japan, so they can say and do what they want, right? I don't mind," but with a strong subtext of "so long as they keep paying me."

I am all for playing with power dynamics between individuals, but when you add in elements of appropriating my own culture, I felt incredibly uncomfortable. Ironically, a strong example can be found on the wikipedia page for "Japanese Rope Bondage." After a pedantic discourse about which Japanese term is more "authentic," you have a picture labeled "French Shibari." It is of a white woman in a cheongsam, which is Chinese. Both the essay and the picture make me really uncomfortable, to put it mildly. And it's pretty emblematic of the attitudes I felt permeate the bondage scene towards Asian culture.

I don't know of a way to ask a question about this that won't sound leading or aggressive, but I am hoping you will respond to this. When I tried to gently bring up these topics in private with people I felt comfortable with, I was met with at best confusion, and at worst outright hostility. To be honest, I expect I'm going to get downvoted to oblivion here.

I don't mind being objectified if it's negotiated with a partner. But with the whole scene doing that sort of thing or ignoring it, I felt like there was no safe place for me without giving tacit permission to erode parts of myself I hold dearly.

We certainly do have a problem of cultural appropriation, and internally i get a bit cringe-y every time I see a white chick in a kimono tying with a white rigger wearing sunglasses because he saw Kanna do it in a video once and thought it would be cool to copy.

I do think that to a certain degree, learning rope is similar to learning any other art that has cultural significance to a group of people you are not part of. I spent 13 years doing Tae-Kwon-Do at an international level. I know the words for things in Korean, and as I taught described them thusly. When I do brush-pen watercolour calligraphy I may refer to a style in the correct chinese pronunciation. This doesn't make what I'm doing cultural appropriation, it makes it learning the art form in a way that is true to it's teaching history.

I will also say the scene has changed quite a bit with the huge influx of Japanese presenters, coupled with a think a greater awareness of the problematic orientalism involved in what we do. I personally draw the line at fetishing rope for being Japanese. If you learn a tie because you like it, its beautiful, feels good, and evokes something in you, great. If you learn a tie because you want your rope to look more Japanese, so you can be "more authentic"... thats a problem.

I had a chat with Midori a few months back at an openspace event we were both at, and she said that while it always raises her hackles to see a kimono folded improperly, she understands that part of the appeal is the exotic nature of the culture. Rather than throw up her hands in despair, she does her best to teach what is and is not cultural appropriate, and get everyone that insists on wearing kimono to wear it correctly so they aren't telling the world they're actually dead.

As for the obsession with tying twue Japanese models, ugh. So much butthurt over here from me. There is this ridiculously pervasive idea that Japanese bondage models are somehow more suited to rope, don't get injured, and suffer more authentically because they experience the shame aspects more completely. Its utterly ridiculous, the only reason we don't hear about the injuries Japanese model's received was that for years they were treated like meat. If you broke one, you dropped it and found another. That was the culture, and its only been individuals like Hajime Kinoko and Kazami Ranki that really have made a dent in changing that.As for the more "authentic" shame, yes, Japan is a shame culture as opposed to the guilt culture we in North America grew up with. Yes, that will alter the experience of the person in rope, because your cultural background informs in many ways your response to things like the public humiliation of being bound and exposed. No, it doesn't make the reaction better or more authentic, and fetishizing it as such is the sort of behaviour I wish had ended with the Victorian era's obsession with Ukiyo-e and chinoiserie.

I apologize on behalf of the scene for the super creepy objectification I know you probably experienced. Its icky, and horrible to watch, and I get really rant-y on the internet about it sometimes.

And yes, that Wikipedia article is all kinds of bullshit.

What is the worst injury you have encountered (in person) with someone being bonded?

I have personally herniated a disc as the result of an extended period of time in an extremely contorted tie. Someone in my local community made a seriously dumb mistake, and left a girl standing on one foot, with the other tied off at waist level to a point on the wall with her arms tied behind her back. When she fell she smashed all her front teeth out.

I've watch people get wrist drop so severe they have no function in their wrists or hands months later, and I know of a case 4 years ago in Italy where one person died. Bondage is serious business, and should be treated as such.

In the kink world I find that riggers tend to be the most pretentious. I've found it not uncommon to go to an event and watch one rigger tie while several more stand off to the side and judge their work the entire scene. Why do you think rope pushes itself away from the rest of the kink world?

I think rope pushes itself away from the rest of the kink world because (and I would argue this is especially true for Shibari), it demands critique when done in public. Past a certain point the aesthetic is just as important as the physical impact of the tie, and when rigging we are aware that it's not just about making our bottom feel something, it's about creating an experience and emotion in the onlookers as well. The beauty of rope to me has always included the fact that more than any other kinky activity, you are creating something that can be appreciated and enjoy by those around you.

I think part of it too has to do with the cultural history of Shibari. As I (white girl from Canada) understand it, rope culture in Japan revolves around s/m bars and small salon type spaces, where the masters tie for the crowd, the students learn by watching, and onlookers are there to appreciate and feed the atmosphere. The experience of sexual shame involved in Shibari is in many ways tied to the experience of being bound in front of onlookers, and this culture has been carried over to the west of late.

Lastly, there will always be assholes hogging the hard points. Please don't let your local asshole reflect poorly on those of us who know how to share :P

1. How'd you get into bondage and what escalated that interest from a casual interest to something you decided to pursue professionally?

2. Where would you recommend someone with zero experience start out? A lot of exposure people have to bondage is the crazy complex/pretty stuff like in the pictures that posted that would be dangerous to attempt without proper experience.

3. Do you have a favorite way to tie people up? Favorite way to be tied up?

1. It never really was a casual interest. At the time I got into the scene I was a disaffected art student struggling to find inspiration for a thesis. Rope gave me the inspiration, and from the get go I knew this would be a big part of my career. I also lucked into getting cherry picked out of the crowd by an already established educator and performer.

2. The best way to begin to learn is to find a local rope group or attend a convention, and the best way to do that is through (www.fetlife.com). If however you're in an area without one nearby, or for privacy reasons don't want to go out and learn in public, your next best bet (although really compared to in person tuition its kind of a terrible option) is through videos and books. Hebari offers online videos that are an excellent introduction to the Japanese style I practice, The Two Knotty Boys have instructional videos online of a more western style. Books wise Midori's The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, Douglas Kent's Complete Shibari, Lee Harrington's Shibari You Can Use are all excellent.

3. I love extremely torturous bondage (semenawa), especially partial suspension incorporating elements of shame. Positions that are difficult, exposing and humiliating, face ties that distort the features, contorted positions and severe foot bondage all make me happy.

Thanks for the thought out answers. I have one follow up question, though: how accessible is shibari for non-Japanese speakers? I'm fluent in it, but I'm constantly surprised by the large number of people in the West that practice it. Is it popular enough now that there are more English language resources for it?

Its absolutely huge, I just got back from teaching at a con in Chicago with 500+ attendees, 4 weeks before that one in Dallas with around 400+, 4 weeks before that a con with a large rope track but other areas of classes with nearly 1000 attendees. The local rope groups in Toronto regularly bring in big names from Japan and Europe for weekend and week-long intensives, Japanese instructors are constantly touring North America too, so hint hint they're always looking for rope-aware translators!

The massive information explosion seems to have started 3 years ago with the first couple of big Japanese names beginning to tour North America, and its really remarkable to see the scene explode almost overnight. My first big con 3 people other than the few out of town presenters were doing dynamic transitional suspension in the dungeon, and there were no classes on the subject. This year there were 8 classes on dynamic suspension, 3 big Japanese names, 2 german, and 4 Australian, and a dungeon full of attendees tying at the level that 3 years ago would have been only seen amongst presenters.

Could you explain the appeal to this kink?

I've tried to explain it before. If someone isn't into domination/submission they just can't seem to grasp it. I'm not so much into sadism or masochism, or bondage even really, but it's all an extension of d/s.

Sorry to answer for her...

Not all of it is, Bondage doesn't have to be about the submission, for some its about feeling comforted and secure, for others its about enjoying the feeling of being off the ground. For me, sometimes its about D/s, sometimes its about exploring pain, humiliation and shame, and other times its about two people sculpting one person's body into a completely non-sexualized work of art.

Much in the same way that handbalancing and contortion is beautiful, well-done bondage can be simply beautiful to create and to behold. You're sculpting the human form with natural fibres in the air and on the ground, and its a fascinating, intimate and artistic undertaking every time.

I'm not overly familiar with the bondage scene or people who partake. With vanilla sex, an orgasm is often the end result, if not the goal. With BDSM, I get the feeling that the voyage is far more important than the destination. Is it pretty common in a bondage session for the bottom to never have an orgasm? I guess I'm wondering if bondage is another "style" of sex, or if it is something else and not necessarily about sexual gratification.

I'm not even sure if my question makes sense. Do you know what I'm trying to ask? lol

Orgasm is generally not the point of bondage I enjoy, because genial stimulation is not involved. Rather it's about both parties achieving an altered state. I liken my desired state as a Top to the same sort of flow one hits as an athlete-that space of perfect focus and coordination resulting in something like ecstasy. As a bottom, my ideal level of stimulation varies, at times arousal through shame, at time a zen like state of perfect submission to the experience my body is having.

All of these are to me just as pleasurable as orgasm, often more so because it's a different sort of release that is far more difficult to achieve.

Curious as a climber, what carabiners do you use in your anchors?

Also how do you attach the rope to them, clove hitch, tied off italian (munter in the us) or some other knot?

We tend to attach into our harnesses through tying in a Y hanger, slipping and locking a bight through the stem of a harness, N friction, etc. Difficult to describe without showing you, but a quick search of rope suspension harness attachment methods might yield you some pictures on google. If you look through my photos in the more proof gallery there might be a shot or two with the attachment of the upline visible.

We then run the upline through either a specially made ring (I currently use this 9" aluminum and chrome model, carabiners (everyone has different preferences there), or a combo of the two (what I often use, useful for having some lines higher than others for ankle inversions as I can clip a biner above my ring, have the centre mass harnesses attractively low to the ground, and still have a point high enough to invert from).

We secure our lines in various ways, often 2 half hitches with a slipped third one above, a munter over the top around the ring or biner with a slipped half hitch bundling the excess rope below. Lots of picture on the net for this one, its just too late for me to bother hunting them down for you.

What granted you the courage to actually try it? Were you drunk? Or are you actually a person that had enough trust with your partner to just try this out of a sudden?

One should never mix drink and rope, and had I been drinking he wouldn't have tied me.

I'm something of a thrill seeker, I knew he was clearly good enough to be wearing a performer badge (now I understand that that actually conveys very little information around actual skill) and I was bored. Great reasons? Maybe not. I did get very lucky, and for anyone looking for similar pick up play a few words of advice:

Watch them tie before they tie you, ask around about their reputation, make sure they're asking you questions about your body and state of mind before they agree, and don't do suspension right away.

Do you often have to worry about circulation when doing this? Is there any trick behind preventing someone's leg from losing a pulse or is it just looser knots?

Circulation is less of a worry than nerve impingement, although tingling and numbness from restricted circulation can mask early signs of impinged nerves. If a body part does go numb through circulation restriction as is to be expected untied such as strappado or futomomo tsuri, I simply keep an eye out, check that I or my bottom can still move fingers and toes normally, and start a mental timer. I try to begin moving towards a transition that will allow blood flow to return.

Worrying signs are an inability to make an ok sign, spread the fingers, lift the wrists, or if only one part of the hand goes numb (ie thumb, forefinger and a sense of inner wrist deadness.) for lower limbs, I check for the ability to lift the foot, sudden numbness down the outside of the thigh (hip harnesses can impinge the nerve that enervates this spot) and tops of feet.

Stay out of joints, and remember red is fine, purple is normal for many, white or black are concerning, and you should definitely untie to let blood flow return.

Do you make people sign legal waivers?

Nope. Its an issue the performing community is just beginning to address.

Large conventions do have waivers for the convention, though, so there is that.

Any chance of you teaching in or near Pittsburgh?

I'll be teaching on the East coast quite a bit this summer, which is about as close as I'm going to be getting to Pittsbugh any time soon I'm afraid. :(

Aw. :( I'm trying to get into rope work, and I feel like I keep screwing up. Luckily my other half is understanding. She'll just sit there and laugh as I pause videos to try to make my rope look like they do in the videos.

Hmm, I'm afraid I don't know too many folks in the Pittsburgh scene.

If you want to make practice time more fun for your partner, if you've got your single column down pat try just trying one wrist, and from there sensually wrapping and unwrapping her whole body with good tension, trying to capture all the limbs as you do. Your rope will become more fluid, you'll practice tension, and it will feel good for her. Just remember as you place the rope on her body to do so like a paint roller. Keeping the hand controlling the rope against her skin and pulling it along let the rope feed out, almost rolling onto the skin. This is how you get the nice consistently tensioned wraps many beginners struggle with.

I recognize you! I took your class last year at an outdoor venue in the pouring rain...

I currently teach rope as well, except small 1 on 1 or 2 on 2 classes. I feel that my skills are not up to the level of common teachers that I've seen that teach large classes yet (Blue, Rubens, Moco, Esinem, Em), thus I've only taught one large class so far. My question is what is your recommendation on building a sufficient following/interest so that there would be demand for a larger class?

Hopefully I don't sound greedy, but I have another question... I do/teach Western style rope, and I find it a common response from more local rope teachers, mostly Shibari rope tops, that they do not like Western style rope and I am often shunned or discouraged from teaching Western style. What is your recommended response to handling these type of situations?

Thanks in advance!

winks hope to see you there again this year!

1. Do something interesting and different. I suspect I am where I am because I was one of the first to teach a hands on bottoming class, and because my torture and humiliation classes have a lot of proprietary info in them. If you're just teaching somebody else's ties, if the con can get the person who created them, or the person who learned from that person, they probably won't hire you. Also useful is to know what's in, what will be in, and building classes around that. $ years ago Bondage for Sex classes were big, then improvisational floor ties, then severe hogties (thanks EM), then torture leg ties.. you get the gist.

2. While I would never want to discourage someone from learning/teaching western style, I will say it is not nearly as in fashion as it once was, due to the influx of Japanese presenters, the visibility of events like MBE, and the fact that in some ways due to the focus on aesthetics Japanese bondage translated IMO better to vanilla audiences as a performative art. I've always felt that western bondage is in some ways better at functional bondage, so perhaps working that angle? Checking out people like Claire Adams would be another good move, as she is a brilliant Western style rigger, and her work could illustrate some ways to make western style feel flashier or more appealing to an over-saturated shibari obsessed scene.

Has anyone told you you look like Eva Green? Also preferred rope hessian, nylon, silk/Cotton blend?

Thank you! I bought a dress the other day purely because it reminded me of one she wears in Penny Dreadful. I love rigging in floor length silk and lace :)

I exclusively use jute, my brand of preference is m0co (reasoning buried in some other comment).

Any tips for beginners on good places to learn ties and get rope?

To learn ties, I suggest reaching out to your local rope groups, as well as following along well-recommended tutorials online and in books. I personally recommend Hebari's online tutorials for those interested in Japanese style, and The Two Knotty Boys for those interested in something more western.

Purchasing rope is rather a personal thing. I exclusively use M0co Jute, and have switched over to his 2-ply extra strong stuff. Less give to it, but it suits my style best. As a petite person regularly lifting people much larger than me, I like to rely on my rope a little more than larger riggers, and thus appreciate the strength. I also do a lot of direct lifts (bringing the whole body of the bottom into the air with one suspension line), and its quite hard on the rope.

Other reputable places to get rope are Karma Ropes, DeGiotto Rope, Jade Rope for jute, Twisted Monk hemp seems to be well regarded, and I'm uncertain about synthetics other than the hardware store :P

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I'm assuming you're talking about autoerotic asphyxiation?

Yes, it is. Yes, it's dumb. No you shouldn't try it. If you want to do breath play there are plenty of safer ways to do it that are less likely to result in full Carradine. Never go full Carradine.

You have the face of someone who takes their kink seriously.

Do you take your job home with you? Or do you lead another life in your free time, where you have simple hobbies like crocheting and making fairy cakes?

Kink is super srs biz you guys :P

As its my job, and my hobby, and my passion- lets just say I have several hundred feet of rope drying in my living room and 10 people coming over in an hour on my day off to practice what we all learned this past weekend. No other life, ONLY ROPE!

;)

Hello , i am very interested in this ama and would like to ask you few questions ;

• What is for you the 'ULTIMATE" fantasm you'd like to experience ?
• At what age did you launch yourself in this bondage fetish ?
• Some countries punish the practice of bondage , considered as mental disorder , what are your thoughts? It feels like its very taboo , whereas me poor student as I am, would love to live my fantasms in the bondage world but just don`t know how to approach this subject. How do you get partners and so on ? How do you free yourself from your inner superego ? How do you make you first steps in this extreme 'world' ? I am sorry if it seems unclear , but I tried my best. I am very looking forward your answers.

-My ultimate fantasy has already been/is currently being fulfilled, is intensely private to my and my partners, and continues to make me very happy

-I think criminalizing what goes on between consenting adults is inherently problematic, as it assumes the moral position of the many must be enforced on the practices of the few in order to maintain the morality of the group.

-You find partners through seeking out community. The web is an excellent start, fetlife being the major North American network for kinksters.

-I'll avoid going Freudian here, as it's 3 am and that's a long conversation. I will say grappling with shame, and your own morality is often what makes transgressive sexual play hot. Provided you go into it with the degree of self awareness necessary to unpack the emotions that arise from such explorations in a healthy way.

My girlfriend and I are interested in "artistic bondage" or whatever it's called. Sorry, but I'm really not knowledgeable about the subject. Those little outfits made with rope and knots.

The thing is, although finding rope is easy enough, learning how to do that seems like a well kept secret. My research has failed me. Is there any resource out there for someone who would like to learn? Books, videos? Do you happen to have a channel on youtube where you teach the basics (wink, wink)?

Start by googling how to tie a karada. Look into hishi patterned body harnesses, and pick up a copy of Lee Harrington's Shibari You Can Use, or a copy of More Shibari You Can Use. Midori's The Seductive Art of Japanese Rope bondage should also have a few basic patterns in there.

Lastly, find a local rope group through making a profile on fetlife. Attend with your girl, be patient with each other, and enjoy some creative decorative bondage.

Hi there! I hope I'm not too late because I had a few questions regarding bondage and I'd love to have them answered by a professional.

I'm not a big practitioner of bondage IRL, my experience is pretty much limited to the most vanilla kind of bondage, with wrists tying and stuff like that (almost always on the dom side btw). No shibari/suspension/full-body harness etc... I'm not really interested in that as a sexual practice.

I am however interested in the aesthetics of it, and since I'm an amateur photographer I've been thinking about doing some bondage shoot. Since I'm not a professional, I don't want to risk hurting the models of course. I'd prefer to work with models experienced in bondage, and with good communication so that we can avoid any unnecessary risks.

So the questions is: what kind of basic knots would be great to start with? Something not too hard to make, not too risky, and that can be aesthetically pleasing. And if you have any security advice to add, they're more than welcome!

Thank you very much !

Honestly? Please don't take this the wrong way, but the world is filled with terribly done basic bondage in otherwise great photos. If you'd like to work towards photographing bondage, rather than getting frustrated with what you're getting because your rigging isn't there yet, see if there is someone local who is already working at the level you'll like to shoot for your own work to get to. TFP when you're first getting your footing as a rigger who'd like to teach and perform can be a useful thing. Plus they'll likely have a pool of capable models to pull from.

While you sort out photographing bondage, work on your own skills. No tie will look good if the tension sucks. Start from there, get good at body harnesses, basic gotes, etc. Check out awesome photographers like CaptureErotica and Clover Photography for inspiration.

Thanks for your answer! Not many performers in my area unfortunately, and so far the only one I talked to refused to do this without being paid (which I understand, it's just that it's not something I'm willing to invest in yet, just want to explore a bit).

If you ever come to France hit me up, I owe you a beer!

Heh, if you're in France, I see your problem. You've got off some truly genius riggers in your area, but I can't point you in the direction of ones who don't already have a lovely portfolio.

When I do make it to your fine neck of the woods I will surely hold you to that, as I will likely be broke and in need of some refreshment. Bondage is thirsty ill-paying business.

One of your other posts made a smart comment about swing dancing -- are you a swing dancer?

Nope, but been to a few social dances with a friend who is. I tried to find classes in my area, but with my travel schedule it was impossible to get to them regularly enough. My lindy dreams will have to wait!

Eww, I kid. What made you want to learn how to bind people?

I bottomed to rope for about a year and a half, and I started to think of ways I wished my partner and others would tie me. Out of frustration I decided to learn to tie so I could experiment with the ideas myself, and discovered I had a knack for it as well as a passion for sadism.

Any suggestions on rope that can be purchased? Hardware store? Online? Types?

Also, any guides on how to do this?

For science...

link is broken!

if you're just testing rope out to see if you like it, some cheap cotton to practice your knots on from the hardware store is fine. As you get more serious, you'll want to upgrade to specialty bondage-specific rope. I personally exclusively use M0co 2-ply jute, conditioned with DeGiotto's rope butter.

Where are the best online resources to learn more rope work?

Hebari's videos are great, I think Wkyd Dave has one or two up on ropetopia now. The Two Knotty Boys offer excellent western style on YouTube.

If you don't mind paying, Esinem offers a solid video series. They're boring as hell but have solid information. Kink University has some great videos (full disclosure, I'm in 2 of them and thus are biased), Kink Academy also has some great ones.

What is your favorite material to work with?

What advice do you have for fledgling riggers?

Favourite jute: M0co 2-ply

Favourite sources of inspiration (rigging): currently Akira Naka, Yukimura, Barkas, Wykd Dave

Favourite inspirational bottoms: Fuoco, Clover, Aiko, Iroha, Gorgone

Advice? Leave your ego at the door, and when it sneaks back in lock the windows too. That shit is insidious, does you no favours, and will only hurt you, your bottoms, and your ability to grow in the art.

Have you ever considered acrobatic aerial silks?

I actually was working with a circus troupe for a while to get up to speed on them, but compartment syndrome in my wrists put an end to my silks dreams. Plus the extra demands it put on my shoulders reduced their mobility, and I need them to stay hyper-mobile for certain ties.

what in your opinion is the most aesthetically pleasing knot to look at/watch being performed.

and i agree with your assessment... i think of this as more of an art form with live people and rope. with that said who would you say are the master artists of this form? and where can you see their best work?

i am a complete noob and no real interest in participating but i enjoy looking at the finished works.

thanks for any response.

A knot is a component of a tie or harness, that is likely just a component of several other ties that together with intention, grace, and physics creates something beautiful in the ground or in the air. I have no favourite knot to look at. I find true high hands TKs to be particularly attractive of late, and transition sequences that utilize a true high hands TK with a legbinder, working along bamboo to utilize multiple points of attachment to create internal twists in the body are the aesthetic I'm most enjoying playing with at the moment.

Current Masters? Anyone listed here

You are incredibly attractive, would this be possible without that?

Thank you!

I assure you individuals of every shape, size, sexual orientation, gender identity and degree of conventional attractiveness find joy in the rope scene.

Will you PM me your vagina? You said ask anything.

No, but I'll pm you the next time I feel like taking up camming again, and you can pay for the privilege ;)

Would you be available to help me with one of my traps sometime this coming week? I'm trying to get the rope to tie the victims hands back while giving them just enough freedom to wiggle their fingers around and grab a knife.

Sorry, but I cannot ethically help you with something that I would consider truly dangerous. Knifes don't belong anywhere near a bound and struggling body. If you want to fuck with their head, use a fake rubber one.