I'm the GM of express laundry commercial division. We handle everything from hotels, hospitals, kitchens, and oil rigs. http://imgur.com/ojjE4VP that's me next to our Braun top loader which can 240 pounds of laundry every half hour. I see all the filthy things left behind by people, ask me anything.

Comments: 108 • Responses: 49  • Date: 

SoDangSlippery21 karma

1) Are hotel sheets coated with as much jizz as people say?

SuperGroverMonster39 karma

Yes, though surprisingly you notice the copious amounts of jizz far less than all the period blood stains.

SoDangSlippery26 karma

Of course! I've decided that my hotel is going to have red sheets so that the jizz stains take center stage.

SuperGroverMonster25 karma

Seems a noble goal, though you'll end up with pink sheets eventually

slashemup18 karma

Have you ever caught wind that someone might be using a laundry machine as a door to an underground meth lab? ;)

SuperGroverMonster26 karma

Not yet, though we did have a mysterious fire a while back. I'll keep searching, once you open a bag of kitchen rags you can understand how no one would ever smell a meth lab under a laundry.

GluteusMax13 karma

Knowing what you know, what should be avoided in life?

SuperGroverMonster18 karma

Even slightly cheaper hotels, you'd be surprised in the difference 20 dollars will make in a hotels standards. If you really want to check the sheets look to the bottom corners as stained sheets will often be put out and hidden by tucking them into the bottom.

Wicksteed6 karma

Can you be more specific? That's really interesting to me because sometimes I wonder that. So I'm right to choose a Days Inn for $75 over a local hotel that costs $55? Or would I have to go up past $100 to avoid stain problems and things like that?

This is in a city of 80,000 people - Bellingham, WA. 45mi Vancouver and 90 mi to Seattle, WA if that helps you answer.

I primarily chose the Days Inn because of the strict no smoking policy but now I think there are other, more disgusting reasons I should avoid the $55/night ones.

SuperGroverMonster8 karma

For example, we service two hotels with the same owners and some shared management. One is a comfort Inn sitting around 80 bucks. The other is a holiday Inn sitting around 100. The standards difference is huge. We can't throw anything out so the stained but washed sheets we bag and deliver to management. The 80 dollar hotel will 99% use them, the other throws them out all the time.

Automatamatern13 karma

Has anyone ever left poop inside of an article to-be-washed? And then the article was washed without you knowing about the hidden poop? And what were the after effects?

SuperGroverMonster19 karma

Yes but it was more of a schmere than a log, everything came clean but the sheet in question. The massive scrubbing of the washer to remove the stench was a herculean task.

Automatamatern10 karma

Thank you

SuperGroverMonster26 karma

You're welcome? I'm glad I could give more poop facts to pull from.

jag19897 karma

"more of a schmere than a log" literally had me laughing at my desk at work for 5 minutes

SuperGroverMonster9 karma

It's all fun and games until you're waist deep in a washer scrubbing it down. It's a big steel drum...really seals in the flavor.

permanentlystoned10 karma

How much money have you found?

SuperGroverMonster23 karma

Quite a bit but we try and bag it up and send it back where it came from. What can't be returned goes to the pizza and beer fund which pays out about once a month.

window59 karma

Are you in the US? Are Hispanic people your best workers?

SuperGroverMonster19 karma

We are and they are! My best worker is a half Hispanic stoner who digs fossils on the weekend. There is a picture in my comments.

krazeegerbil8 karma

What are the craziest things you've seen?

SuperGroverMonster21 karma

I once saw a singular hotel room produce 4 rather large bags of laundry all labeled vomit. I didn't even know so many things in one room could be that covered in vomit. Also a bag of kitchen rags just crawling with maggots, just all over the gloves and arms of the poor man loading it into the washer.

window57 karma

How big are the dryers? How quickly can you dry a load of laundry?

SuperGroverMonster7 karma

We have two kinds 70 pound and 100 pound dryers. They will usually finish most things in one 20 minute cycle.

lexiconsteal7 karma

What is impossible/near impossible to get out?

SuperGroverMonster11 karma

Kitchen grease. Our kitchen rags get triple the chemical and twice as long in the wash and they never come fully clean again.

shouldbeaguy7 karma

Does looking badass come with working laundry?

window57 karma

Do you use hotter water than that used in a Laundromat?

SuperGroverMonster14 karma

Yes, our other location is actually laundry mat. They run about 140 degrees fahrenheit on their water heaters thus temp will drop a bit getting piped over to the machine. We run ours at 170 degrees which will drop to around 150 when it hits the machine. But all of our machines are also steam injected to jack that temperature way up for a while.

sexyoaktree6 karma

What's been the weirdest thing to happen on the job? (laundry or non-laundry related)

SuperGroverMonster11 karma

That's a good question, I've seen piles of rags slowly combust just from the residual heat of a dryer. That one is a bit weird, mostly it's just gross shit. You do find a lot of random shit in oil Rigger's overall.

john_stuart_kill3 karma

Can we get an example of a weird thing to come out of a roughneck's overalls?

SuperGroverMonster7 karma

there was a guy who had pockets full of baby socks, what for...I don't know. I've found LED flashlights, chew, ratchets, pliers, glasses, goggles, large amounts of tape, countless earplugs, and pretty much anything they could carry with them during the day. Roughneck's are like children when it comes to cleaning up after themselves.

voltige736 karma

I think I left my fountain pen in my pants pocket when I sent them to the laundry. Did you find it?

SuperGroverMonster12 karma

Sadly yes...pens are hell.

RCIfan5 karma

Just going to leave this here. /r/fountainpens.

SuperGroverMonster9 karma


PerspectiveDesigns6 karma

What was the most valuable thing that you've seen someone leave in their laundry?

SuperGroverMonster10 karma

A lot of expensive tools, roughnecks will forget anything that can fit into a pocket.

Nothatkindofdoctor6 karma

I work on an oil rig and agree. I've had a couple hundred bucks worth of stuff washed in my pockets.

SuperGroverMonster4 karma

If I kept the stuff riggers forgot I'd have a new ratchet set.

antdogs6 karma

what type of soap do you use?

SuperGroverMonster7 karma

We use a soap called simply clean, we have a break called blitz, softener is cloud 9, bleach and vinegar. Oh and a degreaser called tough on grease. All of those go into kitchen rags otherwise each program has different chemicals.

antdogs4 karma

interesting... i see now. thanks!

SuperGroverMonster6 karma

No problem, break just breaks down food stuffs and solids.

pixie_chick426 karma

How do you fold a fitted sheet?

SuperGroverMonster8 karma

So what you want is to find the short side corners. Tuck one side the other, and then do the same on the opposite side. Then across tuck all four corners together and straighten it all out. You should be left with what looks like a rectangle with all the edges folded over. Fold into thirds to make a long flat rectangle, and the into thirds again to make a small rectangle. It's confusing even when shown to you but most of us can do a fitted in 12 seconds.

SuperGroverMonster6 karma

They should look like this http://imgur.com/BQYzlfu the stacks on the left are fitted.

splattermouse6 karma

Do your dryers have GIGANTIC lint catchers? If so, could we see one that's full/empty?

whynovirus3 karma


SuperGroverMonster6 karma

It's better when you clear them all out and have enough to make your own german shepherd.

Lepthesr2 karma

Pic of german shepherd?

SuperGroverMonster5 karma

I'm not that artistically amazing.

john_stuart_kill1 karma

How often do you empty these lint traps? Like, I do my lint trap at home every time I run the dryer...but you guys probably let 'er go a little longer than that? Or am I wrong?

SuperGroverMonster3 karma

at least once a day, if not more. It's probably something like every four or five cycles.

SuperGroverMonster5 karma

They look like giant butterfly nets almost and yes I will get pictures because I probably need to empty them.

NorbitGorbit6 karma

is braun the choice to get for home washing machines as well or are they only good for commercial ones?

SuperGroverMonster5 karma

That is our only Braun. Most of our machines are continentals,I have an LG washer at home I like.

superslayer446 karma

What's your best poop related incident?

SuperGroverMonster37 karma

None....none of them are the best. We did have a guy sneeze and poop himself once at work. Had to be excused to go home and change pants.

Daritlan10 karma

Did not see that coming.

SuperGroverMonster55 karma

Him either.

window56 karma

A union shop? Do you pay minimum wage?

SuperGroverMonster15 karma

Non union,we pay well over minimum wage average being 11 to 12 an hour.

window55 karma

Are there machines that fold the different items as they come out of the dryer?

SuperGroverMonster6 karma

No. We have a air table that folds towels and scrubs. But someone has to hand load each towel. Our iron will fold sheets but they go I'm wet and are dried on the iron.

window55 karma

How does the machine that irons and folds sheets work? Does it do one sheet at a time?

SuperGroverMonster10 karma

http://imgur.com/2bvpqZK this bad boy has a huge steam drum inside. That top bar will drop down and clip a sheet into two arms that pull it over the belts which then pull it over the iron drum and down to the bottom where they are folded with compressed air.

DrawManda3 karma

Do you find this a rewarding career? I feel like you have a very important job!!

Also, can you tell us a story or anecdote we never would have thought to ask about?

SuperGroverMonster6 karma

I do, I love my job because it's rewarding to see something turn into clean and neat stacks. Not to mention the amazing people I work with. It's a great career for me, for everyone else not in charge it's a decent job, not a career though.

Hmm, if you want to know the dirtiest restaurant in town ask the people who do the laundry. Kitchen rags are the grossiest thing we deal with bar none. Also no one asked the general cost which is .50 cents to .75 cents.

DrawManda2 karma

Per pound?

SuperGroverMonster6 karma

Yeah hotels are all base rate, hospitals because of all the precautions we have to take are more.

SuperGroverMonster4 karma

I do, I love my job because it's rewarding to see something turn into clean and neat stacks. Not to mention the amazing people I work with. It's a great career for me, for everyone else not in charge it's a decent job, not a career though.

Hmm, if you want to know the dirtiest restaurant in town ask the people who do the laundry. Kitchen rags are the grossiest thing we deal with bar none. Also no one asked the general cost which is .50 cents to .75 cents.

bratzman3 karma

Why does lint always seem to be the same colour?

SuperGroverMonster6 karma

Because everything we wash is white. Except red shop rags which make red lint.

[deleted]3 karma


SuperGroverMonster7 karma

No, except chew. So many fresh cans of chew my buddy had stopped buying them. Everything else goes back to the oil rig company as its mostly their stuff we find.

Crumps_brother-17 karma

Why do you steal the chew? That's not yours to take.

SuperGroverMonster12 karma

Save it from the trash, many of the companies don't allow tobacco use. So we can't return it.

Tylenol_Creator2 karma

Whats your biggest washer? Can we see the inside of it?

SuperGroverMonster3 karma

It's the 240 pound one featured in my proof picture. Sadly I've gone home for the day but all its a metal drum split in two down the middle. It's a seriously scary machine.

MeatDoughnut1 karma

SuperGroverMonster5 karma

I started growing that white spot when I worked as a farm hand in Texas four years ago. I blame stress.

thewildplum1 karma

1) What commercial washer/dryer combo would you choose and why? 2) Is there a way for me to get white towels really white without making them fall apart? 3) BEST WAY TO PREVENT MILDEW?? I have this set of brown towels that I can wash with soap in extra hot water and dryyyyy till they're near crispy but when you go to use them to dry off, they STILL smell of mildew. What the heck??

SuperGroverMonster2 karma

What combo, I prefer the milnor 120 with a Continental 100 pound washer. Their loads match up well and while the milnor is a water hog it's just so easy to load and unload which is important if you're working all day.

As for getting towels white, don't be afraid to use bleach. Things are going to fall apart over time. Don't over pack your washer and dryer, and dry on medium to low heat.

For your brown towels I would suggest washing with a little bleach (if it's not directly on them it won't cause any problems mixed in water for just one wash. ) and a lot of vinegar, then do a second wash without bleach or vinegar. Vinegar will get rid of almost any smell, the second wash is just to remove the vinegar smell and make them neutral.

214b1 karma

What's your ethnic background? Is the laundry business still a Chinese-dominated occupation or has that died out?

SuperGroverMonster2 karma

German and Scottish, I can't speak to much to it but all the ones I've toured have been owned by old white dudes and ran by mexicans. So at least here, no.

WarLordDobby0 karma

Is there a meth lab underneath it?

SuperGroverMonster8 karma

Yes, they're cooking up with equations all day.

Chicken65-2 karma

How do hotels get the sheets so wrinkle free?

SuperGroverMonster7 karma

They send them to us and we use a massive steam iron.