My short bio: Hi I'm MJ Johnson. I'm a current National and World Bearding champion specializing in Sideburns and Imperial Partial Beard. The Reddit Photoshop crew had some fun with my "mustache" last month. I've been on GQ, Reader's Digest, Buzz Feed, The Chive, Sports Illustrated,, Pee-Wee Herman's FB page, Bootsie Collins FB page, CBS News, BANKSY's FB page, and tons of other online sites, too. I'm @razorhater on Instagram. I'm on the packaging for Remington Beard Trimmers nationwide and I'm sponsored by Dream Beard beard oil, too. Founder of The Minneapolis Beard and Moustache Club. I like beer.

My Proof:
I posted my Reddit user name in the profile of both my Instagram and Twitter, too.

Thanks for the questions and your time everyone.



Comments: 145 • Responses: 56  • Date: 

taylorcjudd23 karma

What does your wife think?

TheRazorHater30 karma

She gets salty once in a while but, if it's well kept I get "clearance from the tower". She likes to braid it and is a huge help with clothes/style/outfits for the big contests. Also, if I use all the leave-in conditioner... That's a no-no.

physioboy16 karma

Really? Not a single picture of the beard in the AMA?

TheRazorHater12 karma

There are a ton on my Instagram @razorhater.

Or just google image search "MJ Johnson beard" or "MJ JOHNSON Moustache"

physioboy43 karma

I think you're overestimating reddit-users. For example, I'd much rather type out this reply than to open up a new tab and google your name. Maybe put up an album through and imgur-link in the post? As you know, they gel nicely with RES, whereas twitter and instagram don't.

TheRazorHater22 karma

Here's a link to a Reddit Photoshopped photo of me. It's rad.

Toledojoe15 karma

How did you get started in this sport? Is it lucrative? Can you make money doing this?

TheRazorHater29 karma

I saw photos of the German Masters in 2009. I was blown away and I wanted to try it. I grew out a long Moustache first and won some contests then switched to my current style and, luckily, stayed on a roll. I make money but, spend again right away on travel, beer, and hairspray.

Daiuki10 karma

Any tips on how to grow one? Or is it just to let time do the work?

TheRazorHater14 karma

Have a possible style in mind when you start. But, be open to changing it into something that pinpoints where YOUR beard is the strongest or the areas that grow best. Beard oil doesn't make it grow faster but, it helps stop breakage and can add size. Study photos of other beard styles and pick one that works for you then own it.

KindergartenRedditor7 karma

I heard using horse shampoo on your beard makes it grow faster.

TheRazorHater32 karma

It doesn't make it grow faster. It can make it healthier and suffer less breakage so, over time there is more beard giving off the illusion it grew faster. It can add size and sheen however. You also, I've heard, have a never ending desire to eat oats out of a bag.

arrpadge7 karma

How did you get started in this profession? And are you able to support yourself solely on bearding or do you have another job?

TheRazorHater18 karma

I work as a beer/wine consultant to pay for life. Bearding money pretty much sustains the ability to compete and travel. But, with that comes a lot of friends and adventures which is the real prize.

Marty_ShortForMartin-15 karma

I wouldn't call it a profession... Perhaps a hobby.

TheRazorHater24 karma

Perhaps profession. I work my butt-off and am under contract. I am paid and have to meet job requirements. But, I can see why you might think hobby.

Ewok_Soap7 karma

Where do (did) you work? I imagine most with places would have a problem with your facial hair volume and style. Do you still style it in your casual days like going to the grocery or gym or whatever. Your beards are so well formed!!

TheRazorHater17 karma

I work in the beer and wine industry and, also, at a food co-op. Both employers let me rock it as hard as I want. That wasn't always the case. One of the things that drives me is facial hair acceptance in the work place. At one job my boss came up to me (I had a small business beard at the time) with a razor and shaving cream in the middle of a shift. He said I needed to shave because he had "important people" coming in. I was humiliated and agreed to shave. I have regretted that to this day and will forever. I was also let go from a job partially because I was taking off too much time to go to beard contests around the country and around the world. That's my dream though so, I just keep pushing and find ways to keep going.

mykoconnor6 karma

MJ. When we gonna hang out again? You better be in Austin in Feb dude.

TheRazorHater5 karma

Yay! Hi Myk! Last time we hung out we were slamming Founder's All Day IPA on a party bus :) Fun. Austin in February is the place to be. Super 8 and The Mohawk I gotta get there in 2015!!

Wango_Tango5 karma

How many times have you been asked if that was real?

TheRazorHater8 karma

Good gawd. It's either in the thousands or 10's of thousands. "Is it real?" Comes up the most but, "Where did you get those?" Is my fav :)

humblebrag5 karma

I want to begin competing. I'm about 15 months in to my beard. Too soon?

Also it seems that outfits are half the presentation. Why is that?

Ps I've been following you for about a year, you really are just the nicest dude. Thanks.

TheRazorHater7 karma

It's not too soon. It's just right. Now is the time. Most contests have beard categories with different lengths so, get in where you fit in and you won't have to battle guys like Myk O'Connor (unless you reach best in show then it is a battle royale). Presentation is important... and mysterious. It takes a lot to organize a good contest so, if everyone shows up in a T-shirt and everyone looks the same it's not as fun for the crowd or the judges so, putting forth a great effort is helpful to the organizer for one. If you have similar beard attributes as two other guys then outfit and presentation is often THE tiebreaker. Also, if the crowd ROARS at your whole get-up that MAY sway a judge a little. Also, some folks view contests as car shows. If everyone brought the same car it isn't as interesting. If you go to a contest and aren't that concerned with winning and are just concerened with contributing to the show dressing the part can benefit that. One thing judges look for is magnificence. How you dress and present yourself contributes to that mysterious element.

Thanks for the follow humblebrag. :) What contest are you going to get into soon??

Ramrod3125 karma

What's the worst thing you've ever gotten your beard caught it, or the worst thing that has been caught in your beard?

TheRazorHater10 karma

HONEY is the worst. The party is over if that happens. Nothing short of a shower will save you. Soup is tuff. I had a knot in my beard one day and my Dad's dog decided to play. He snagged his teeth (playfully) and things went sour. My son steps on it and sits on it. My Moustache is pretty big and I have to taste a lot of wine and it gets in the way. It's all worth it.

koolaidduck5 karma

What kind of maintain routine do you have for a world class beard like yours?

TheRazorHater4 karma

I soak my Moustache in beer and my beard in beard oil and coconut oil. I sleep on silk pillow cases. It might be wishful thinking but, I believe walking through forests is good for it, too. Drinking lots of water and beer can be a major benefit.

koolaidduck3 karma

Thanks looks like I just need to stay the course, possibly wrestle a bear

TheRazorHater7 karma

Stay the course.

thepenguinisclay5 karma

Of all the styles you've grown, which beard was your favorite?

TheRazorHater8 karma

My current one. The longer it gets the harder it is to style but, once perfected it's so ridiculous people can't help reacting to it. Lots of people online think it's horrible (according to their comments, which I read) but, lots of strangers come up and talk to me out of the blue and have a hard time not smiling. It's fun.

black_flag_4ever4 karma

Why do you think beards fell out of fashion to begin with? In the mid 1800s people had bad-ass beard styles and then it went away, do you have any opinions on that?

TheRazorHater4 karma

I love that question. The photos of the people you refer to in the mid 1800s struck me as epic when I first saw them. I wanted to grow EVERY one of those beard styles. I still seek out those photos. I like photographers (old and current) because they capture the look of the current "Modern Man". People like Jeffrey Moustache (pro photographer) and many others that make these captures are very important. I often get asked what outfit or costume I'm going to wear at a show. My usual answer is "Modern Man Handsome".

Why did it go away? Style goes in cycles, I guess, and razor blade companies making money really hit up the advertising scene and created a sway in the clean shaven direction. A lot of it has to do with what women and potential partners want to see in a man, I guess. Lots of people want to see their man with a beard or a sweet stache or something interesting relative to a clean shaven face so, that helps things swing back to beards. Plus, growing out something dope is way more fun than shaving.

Grphx4 karma

Would you ever shave your beard and donate it to a "locks with love" type organization that helps out guys like me who cannot grow facial hair very well? I'm not asking for me, since my haircolor is red and I dont' think that your fabulous beard would look right on me.

TheRazorHater3 karma

I'd do it I guess. In the right instance.

maxxratt4 karma

Is there such a thing as steroids for beard growth? Is that something that would get you banned in the completion?

TheRazorHater3 karma

I don't think so, but I've heard of people getting beard transplants. Odd but, to each their own. There is no testing for HGHs and there is no rule against using them, I guess. I've never heard of anyone being banned for anything. There are rumors of people being banned for certain things but, it has never happened that I know of.

Bob0024 karma

My beard only seems to get to about ~4 inches long and stops. Any tips to get over that hump?

TheRazorHater3 karma

You may have reached terminal length. Everyone has a certain pre-determined length that their body will let their beard grow to. If yours has curls then you can blow it out with a hairdryer for temporary added length but, it won't add actual length.

Bob0027 karma

Damn. I was hoping this wasn't the case. I may try trimming the split ends and that sort of thing, as I've not really done that. I typically let it grow right before I punch people in the face. It IS pretty curly, however.

Here's back in May, after a facepunching sesions that I lost.

TheRazorHater5 karma

It's a great beard! The photo is outstanding, too. You look so happy to be Bearding and punching. Cheers to that.

sedwards32054 karma

How many ZZ Top jokes do you get a day?

TheRazorHater5 karma

I got to meet Billy Gibbons at an Austin show one time and his beard is deservedly legendary but, just saying "Haaaay, ZZ TOP!" happens too often and doesn't even fit when it comes to me. The only way that would fit is if The Reddit Photoshop crew (who I absolutely LOVE for those dope renditions of me) did one with the ZZ TOP guys wearing my Imperial Partial Beard instead of full beards. But, there is no doubt any connection to ZZ TOP is a compliment so, I can't complain. #SharpDressedMan

Mh17814 karma

What kind of conditioner do you use?

TheRazorHater8 karma

At first, I would steal whatever my wife was using. Now, I get my own. I use Dream Beard conditioner (mountaineer scent). Whatever you use try to use a clean product. Meaning organic ingredients and not a lot of chemicals. But, trying different things and finding what works best for your beard is the best route.

jstrydor3 karma

Is there anything that anyone can do to make your beard grow in more thick? I understand that there are a lot of aspects of your luscious man beard that are due to careful and precise grooming, but what aspects of beard growing are completely out of our control?

TheRazorHater10 karma

A lot of it is genetics. Nothing will make it grow in thicker but, coconut and other oils will make the beard you have appear thicker as it soaks it up. Don't OVER brush. This sounds silly. I know. Goof on me for it too, I don't mind... BUT, sleeping on your beard leads to breakage. Think about it. 8 hours of friction. I have a silk pillow case (there I said it) and it totally reduces breakage. Over the course of a year the hours of sleep-breakage you avoid adds up. It is comfortable, too.

NoChanceButWhoCares3 karma

Ive been clean-shaven most of my life, but I have always wanted to grow a beard. The problem is that despite all of the hair on my body being pitch black, my beard is reddish-brown with some stray black hairs in it. Why oh why does this happen??? I'm white, and a quarter Irish, but no one on either side of my gigantic family is a redhead. Why do the beard gods hate me so?

TheRazorHater6 karma

They don't hate you. They love you. Beards with different color patterns are unique and harder to copy. Grow yours fully out then either party with a full beard that has a sweet color pattern or study photos of different style and craft your new style.

human_taxidermy3 karma

What's your opinion of Phil Olsen's decision to hold his own World Championships this year even though there already is a world championships held on odd numbered years? Isn't that a lot like a football fan holding a game in the summer and calling it the Super Bowl...

TheRazorHater2 karma

I attended the WBMA World Championship in 2013 (2nd Place) and the 2014 Portland Contest (1st place). I view the WBMA as the authoritative figure in competitive Bearding. I view Phil as someone with an idea to take competitive Bearding in a different direction than the WBMA and he has good ideas and legal rights. They battle in the press and they battle in court... with good reason. The WBMA was there first. Steeped in tradition. Phil has put himself in a position to legally promote his every other year contest as "Worlds" and wants to see it grow and not everyone is down for his style of doing things and that is reasonable. I don't pretend to know how the legal system works in this instance. There is a lot of pressure put on you to pick a side but, as a competitor I just try to do a good job and what I want most is to go to the contests, compete, see my friends, and go on adventures.

eureka003 karma

Dear Hero of Reddit,

I would like to grow a beard but I can't. What suggestions do you have for growing a luscious beard that everyone can admire? If one can't, what suggestions would you have for them to live a life without such a great joy?


An Asian man who looks like he's perpetually 12.

TheRazorHater5 karma

If a full beard isn't in the cards is there an area that does grow well? Highlight that and trim around it maybe. You can always go to a beard contest and have a great time. You can even find a way to post about beards or organize contests or become a judge. You will be living the beard life in no time. Soon the FHL (Facial Hair League) will have an app out that lets you vote on every single beard contest that it sponsors. All from your living room or while in the crowd at a show.

brewer2me3 karma

Current favorite brewery in the Cities? Also a beard question, how long have you been growing your current beard? Also a follow up, any desire to start over?

TheRazorHater3 karma

My favorite brewery in the Twin Cities is Dangerous Man. I like all the beer they make. Others I like are Indeed and Sociable Ciderworks. But, there are a lot of good ones. You?

LordPowerbang2 karma

What can I do to make my beard more epic?

This is my beard.

I think my rogue streak can become powerful and dominate the Southeast United States with the right training.

TheRazorHater2 karma

I like it!!

You are ready to compete. Get a sweet outfit and get into a category with other similar length beards.

necrosynthesis2 karma

I've seriously thought about getting into one of the local competitions since I'm already known as "the guy with the beard." However, my beard is Jet Black. Looks cool now, but I know that genetically silver hair is in the cards for me within a decade or so. Is beard dye acceptable or should I just run with it when it turns?

TheRazorHater5 karma

GRAY and WHITE beards DESTROY people at contests. Red beards are wildly popular, too. Color makes yours unique. Harder to copy. I wouldn't dye it. If I were you I'd roll hard the way it is and get into a contest ASAP. There are ALOT of ways to win at a contest. Drink beer, make friends, join a club, get a sweet photo from a skilled photographer, work on Bearding projects, meet people from around the nation/globe... lots of ways. Plus, you might win your category or place top 3 and score a sweet trophy.

GooseRace2 karma

How long does it take you from start to finish to style your beard for a competition?

TheRazorHater3 karma

I like 3 hours but, I only need 2 if I don't have to start over. And in that 2 hours is ample downtime. Some of the time is just letting the hairspray dry so you can sculpt and add another layer of hairspray. The actual shaving part can be stressful as you are putting your beard at risk. One false move and it's years of growing literally down the drain. So, not rushing that is a good call.

Dude_Hold_My_Bear2 karma

Congratulations on your successful bearding, that split beard is pretty awesome.

How did you come up with the idea and how long into growing the beard did you decide that was what you wanted to do? It also must have taken some balls to shave right down the middle. I would have no doubt been nervous about wrecking what I had.

I took the leap into the beard world at the start of the year, this year. Around July I made a huge mistake and shaved it off... I couldn't even recognize myself in the mirror. Since then I've been working on growing my new beard and working on getting it to look right.

Despite what some people may say, I enjoy getting a little beer in my mustache. Let's me enjoy the beer a little more.

Good luck to you.

TheRazorHater3 karma

The idea started from photos of Karl-Heinz Hille (7-time Imperial Partial Beard World Champion) and photos of Toot Joslin (Sideburns World Champion). Those, along with Nate Johnson, are my personal favorite partial beards ever.

Yah, grow that beard back for sure.

I like the beer in the Moustache, too!

scolomon2 karma

How do your parents feel about your career choice?

TheRazorHater5 karma

My mom takes the mom way out when someone asks her if she likes it. She says "Well, it's different." LOL.

veilofmaya12342 karma

I keep feeling like my current brush is doing more harm than good. Any suggestions on a brush or brushing techniques?

TheRazorHater3 karma

Ahhh, that happens to me, too sometimes. You are going to lose a few now again so, there is no way around that. Start at the ends first then work your way up... slowly. The best brushes (for me) are from Dream Beard and Incredibeard.

uberlad2 karma

3 questions:

  • Why do you think facial hair competitions are getting popular (again?)?
  • What's your very best life advice?
  • What's your favorite beer?

TheRazorHater4 karma

1) The fun factor.

Beard contests are a huge pile of fun. I have friends all across the country and world now from contests and I can't wait to see them again (most of them anyway lol). Lots of talented people put a big effort into their clubs and contests and it is paying off. I recommend the contests in Austin, Sacramento, Richmond, Los Angeles, Portland, Madison, Miami, Holy City, Louisiana, Minneapolis, I don't know... There's a lot of good ones. I'm trying to get to the Colorado one this year, too, if I can.

2) Try to do a good job TODAY.

TheRazorHater4 karma

3) There are so many different styles of beer and so many good ones. If I had a favorite it might be Dangerous Man Chocolate Milk Stout.

Sam72762 karma

Is peach fuzz acceptable?

define a good beard

TheRazorHater4 karma

Yes. Acceptable. Everyone should feel good about their facial hair.

A good beard enhances a person's look and is their natural look anyway. Good beards come in lots of different styles (as an example there are around 17 different categories at the WBMA World Championships in Austria in 2015) but, some common denominators of them all are health, color, craftsmanship, and magnificence.

Gary_Bettman_Hater2 karma

How do you prevent dry skin under your beard? A bit of a problem for me when the seasons change.

TheRazorHater2 karma

Massage some oils up in there. Feels great. Try different ones until you nail it.

facefuzzies2 karma

I can grow grow a pretty thick (but not long) beard, but I'm left with next to nothing on my upper lip. Any advice on how to style it without looking Amish?

TheRazorHater3 karma

A beard with no Moustache can be called a Whaler, a Donegal, a Neard (neck beard), or an Amish with some subtle differences between those. I like those when they are done well and they suit someone's face. Sounds like you don't like yours like that? Marc McShane from the Minneapolis Beard and Moustache Club has a great one. I'd peruse perfecting that... OR ditch the Moustache and shave your chin then shave your neck to the jawline. You now have a set of "Wolverines" like Hugh Jackman in X-men... Pretty heroic.

arcosapphire2 karma

I find growing a beard to be very uncomfortable. I dislike stubble as well. I only feel good when clean-shaven, and I consider my follicles to be more of a curse than any sort of benefit. There are those here who complain that they simply don't grow beards even if they want, and I wouldn't mind trading faces. To me, this utterly unnecessary, inconvenient waste of protein is a hassle, not a benefit.

However, on the internet everyone seems to circlejerk over how amazing and awesome beards are. I cannot relate. I have no desire to relate.

In another response you said everyone should be happy with their facial hair even if they can't grow a beard. But that's not my situation: the hair grows whether I want it to or not, but I find it itchy, painful, messy, and so on depending on what stage it's at. I hate having to take time to shave it all the time, especially as that is irritating too, but it's better than the alternative.

So here's the question: What would you say to get me to relate? Everything you apparently stand for is the antithesis of my viewpoint on the matter. Even your inclusive statements imply that everyone wants their facial hair. Everyone in this thread seems completely on board with that, so I feel weird and left out for having a different view. Is my viewpoint ridiculous from your perspective, or can you relate to the idea that someone would recoil with horror from the beard-gasm the internet seems to have?

TheRazorHater9 karma

Your point of view is not ridiculous. I can relate to not wanting to shave for sure. I can relate to not wanting to deal with the extra work and upkeep that comes with a beard. I didn't say everyone should be happy with their facial hair I said everyone should feel good about it... And I would want that for you too even if that means you not wanting it. You used a lot of powerful descriptors describing your view on having your beard... itchy, painful, messy, irritating, utterly unnecessary, inconvenient, and so on. So, I believe you when you say you are not into it. If having a clean shaven face works best for you then I'm way down for that. I wish a was a magic beast with super-natural powers that could magically take away your power to grow a sweet beard then we could see if you missed it. You might not miss it by the sounds of it. Would be interesting to see though. If I was magical enough I could return the beard growing power to your face IF you wanted it back but, I guess I'd put the odds at 25-1.

Franklyimfrank2 karma

Oh second question. In my last question I said I'd been growing for about 7-8 months. Now it was around that time I started to trim the length. Now I've stopped trimming for about two months,but I'm not seeing the super growth I normally have. Is it just like body hair as in once it hits a certain length it just stops? Science

TheRazorHater3 karma

Yep. Exactly. Beards and moustaches reach terminal length. Everybody has a different one. If you have reached terminal I would just work on shape and balance. If you feel you have that mastered then it MIGHT be time to work in some freestyles.

booyatrive2 karma

Once my beard gets to a certain length, about 2-3 inches of my chin, it gets a serious leftward lean on. Is there anything I can do to get it in line or am I destined to have a lopsided face?

TheRazorHater3 karma

The lean is most likely permanent but, it makes yours unique. You could blow it out with a hairdryer and that would straighten it but, only temporarily. I say go with it and even come up with a name for it.

Franklyimfrank2 karma

Hey there fellow facial hair enthusiast. I've been going to mustache for about eight months now. Fallowing you on instangram got me to try a few local competitions. I saw the level of styled mustache that are winning National and world events and thought to myself that's not much more than I have. Anyway I've won everything I've entered to so far. I wanted to say thanks. Now as far as my question. How many times while styling your set up have you had to step back or even take a break cause one thing isn't just right. Once in a while I have to walk away,smoke a cigarette or whatever before I just cut it off. Is this an issue you ever have?

TheRazorHater3 karma

Oh, wow. That is great news! I really like hearing that you gave it a whirl and have some big wins. Victory.

As far as styling... I've had to take a break and even start over. When it comes to styling for a big contest it takes a couple hours to really dial it in so, starting over can be a massive drag. I take breaks, too.

Keep on competing and going to contests. It's a great "HOBBY" lol.

st0neski2 karma

I have a large beard, well large in comparison to most people. My problem is that it has stopped growing. Does not grow any longer then its current length. Which is not that long to be honest. Doesn't even reach my nips. I actually just trimmed off my scraggly hairs, so it looks shorter now. Anyway, any tips on getting it to grow longer or have I hit my terminal length?

TheRazorHater2 karma

Probably terminal. You should look up photos of Garibaldi category competitors or Full Beard Styled Moustache competitors and see if any of those are appealing. I bet your beard is awesome and you would do well in either of those categories (with practice) or just how it is now.

ICanWriteThings2 karma

What do you use to style it? I can't imagine it's just hairspray (but I've been known to be wrong before).

TheRazorHater2 karma

On a styling day it's JUST hairspray and hand-sculpting.

ICanWriteThings2 karma

Well, I guess I know what I'm doing this weekend. I've got an 8" goatee and I know where to get hairspray. I may have found me a new hobby. Thanks for the response!

TheRazorHater2 karma

Great post a photo upon completion.

WikedNarwhal2 karma

Does your wife spit out a few hairs when you kiss her?

TheRazorHater8 karma

I try to clear a path. Doesn't always work. I try to get her to live by the saying "A kiss without a tickle, isn't worth a nickel." But, that's not that effective.

AnAlmightyWorm2 karma

This may be a dumb question, but do you shampoo and condition, or do you just condition your Beard?

TheRazorHater2 karma

It's not dumb. I had the same question for a while. My experience is that you shouldn't shampoo that often. Mostly condition but, there is such a thing as over conditioning so, finding a balance is best.

AnAlmightyWorm2 karma

So I probably shouldn't use the same Shampoo/Conditioner mix that I use for my head on my beard? I need to look into getting separate bottles?

TheRazorHater2 karma

Yep. One way to go about it is getting beard specific conditioners. Or you can wait until out of the shower and use beard specific oils or leave-in conditioners applied to the beard while still wet.

BigFudge692 karma

Hey! Im that guy from instagram a second ago! What products do you use and recommend for someone trying to grow in their epic-ness? have you ever been approached about doing film? and whats your favourite breakfast?

Edit* Thank you for doing this AMA for so long! - a young grower.

TheRazorHater3 karma

I use Dream beard beard oil, coconut oil and sometimes straight olive oil. Hairspray on styling days. I've been approached by a few producers about shows on beards. I've been on all 3 of my local TV stations and I've been on "Only in America with Larry The Cable Guy", the episode is on itunes and Amazon instant and it's called "Larry Gets Trashed and Tanked". I like bacon and coffee for breakfast.

If you want to see a few videos on you tube that I'm in you can search for"Timberwolves Beard Contest" (me and Kevin Love judging a beard contest), "Winter Beard Contest", "Beard Game Proper" (A music video from Big Jess and Big Wiz), and "Sexy and I Grow It" (terrible music video I made for a contest in less than a day with my friends)

mentally_vexed2 karma

Any maintenance tips?

TheRazorHater2 karma

Try a bunch things and see what works best for you. I've listed a lot of tips so, there are more throughout this interview.

ksvr1 karma

I was born in 1974. My dad drank Pabst Blue Ribbon until I was in my teens. I've never in my life seen his jaw, as he's had a full beard since I was born. Why are hipsterdouches incorporating bits and pieces of my dad for their idiotic shit? I smell conspiracy. If you want to incorporate some of his better qualities, how about helping out your neighbors and asking nothing in return? Treating people with respect? Working hard and taking good care of your family? Those should be trendy.

And when did salty come back? Until a month ago I hadn't heard that since a George Carlin bit from the 70s.

/get off my lawn?

TheRazorHater1 karma

Your dad was just ahead of his time. And right on time... all at once. But, it's possible it's a conspiracy.

I use "salty" as a term because of my friend A.C.

When people were getting upset he would call them salty. Then they would get shirty about that comment. Then A.C. would tell them they were "now saltier than a saltine" and they would get even more upset and I'd laugh. So, I keep the term handy.

Ortophonic1 karma

I have always been interested in growing mine out, but always trim it after it gets to the awkward phase where it just looks like pubic hair was glued to my face. Any advice on keeping it managed, or am I a lost cause? =[

TheRazorHater1 karma

If a full beard doesn't appear to be your forte then, maybe, let it grow out and examine were the strongest parts are then sculpt a partial beard around that. Look into Moustache, chinny, van dyke, goatee, sideburns (friendly or unfriendly), mutton chops, musketeers, donegal, whaler, stache and burns combos, or other styles that might suit your strong suits.

pogiface1 karma

When I try to grow even a slight beard my face gets irritating and red sores, I assume skin irritation. Anyway to combat that?

TheRazorHater2 karma

Yep. Grow a longer beard. The short beards are actually the itchiest. Once it's long the ends don't turn back around and itch your face. Long beards are softer, too, especially with the use of good products if need be. The first 3-4 weeks are the worst. Gotta get through that stage and it starts to go away.

tellMyBossHesWrong1 karma

So since no one asked yet - Jack Passion, love him, hate him, or love to hate him?

TheRazorHater2 karma

Huge fan of his beard. Admirer of his contributions to the sport of Bearding. It's hard to battle Bryan Nelson wether it be a beard contest, trying to be witty, or trying to win the Bearding fans or the general population over. I wouldn't want to do that so, I don't blame him for looking silly on occasion trying to do that. And while that feud was on he brought a little extra sizzle to contests. As a contest organizer, as well as competitor, I can appreciate the level of buzz and interest he brought to a contest. I don't love him or hate him but, I do wish he was still competing and still causing waves at shows. That might be easy for me to say because I was never caught in his "volcano" but, not only am I an organizer and competitor I'm also a spectator and a fan and that part of me really liked seeing him at a show. The parts that are harder to be a fan of are some of the things said to and about Myk O'Connor and Bryan but, obviously they handled that themselves so, I don't worry about any of it really.

peachy-mean1 karma

Is Jack Passion really as much of an asshole as he seems, or is it just for the sake of television drama?

TheRazorHater1 karma

He was always nice to me. Perhaps the editing of "Whisker Wars" and the promotion of it amped up some of the words and actions but, the rivalry was real and it's not like he didn't say the things he said.

As far as the boasting part... Hmmm. He was winning a lot at the time and really enjoyed coming up with creative ways to say he is the best and how the Austin Facial Hair Club was not but, he would spit some of his lyrical poison at himself once in a while, too, in his reflective moments. I found some of it entertaining and some of it awkward but, I always like to remember the episode of WW when James Moody (owner of The Mohawk) went out of his way to direct Jack's attention to the sign in the bar saying "All are welcome.". Those are strong words.