TheRazorHater

It doesn't make it grow faster. It can make it healthier and suffer less breakage so, over time there is more beard giving off the illusion it grew faster. It can add size and sheen however. You also, I've heard, have a never ending desire to eat oats out of a bag.

She gets salty once in a while but, if it's well kept I get "clearance from the tower". She likes to braid it and is a huge help with clothes/style/outfits for the big contests. Also, if I use all the leave-in conditioner... That's a no-no.

I saw photos of the German Masters in 2009. I was blown away and I wanted to try it. I grew out a long Moustache first and won some contests then switched to my current style and, luckily, stayed on a roll. I make money but, spend again right away on travel, beer, and hairspray.

Perhaps profession. I work my butt-off and am under contract. I am paid and have to meet job requirements. But, I can see why you might think hobby.

http://m.imgur.com/LoKdgDc

Here's a link to a Reddit Photoshopped photo of me. It's rad.