Comments: 1777 • Responses: 70  • Date: 

lurk_in_progress1074 karma


penisindoor2606 karma

I sent him an IM. He never responded. I was joking around that he could lend me a spare, lol.

resonantSoul1024 karma

Are you still on speaking terms with the relevant friend?

penisindoor2317 karma

Best friends. His dick is in his will to me. Organ donor, lol. Literally.

thewaynetrain296 karma

Since his dick is yours after he dies, do you make sure he keeps it away from filthy whores?

penisindoor692 karma

Chastity key around my neck.

buttwarmers898 karma

When you get a new penis are you going to leave it in your will to another dickless fella so there can be a movie adaptation called "Brotherhood of the Traveling Penis"?

penisindoor575 karma

I'm still hoping one say with stem cells or some shit I can just get one printed from my own dna. That day will be awesome...

BrosephConey874 karma

After the transplant will you walk out of the hospital like this?

penisindoor650 karma

I'm sure I won't be walking out of the hospital... but I sure will be strolling out there in the wheelchair like that.

JMFargo653 karma

This is by far the most fascinating and squirm-inducing AMA I've seen so far. Congratulations?

Not to be morbid but this is a morbid question, sorry: Will the donor be deceased? I'm assuming yes. Does that make this feel weird to you at all?

penisindoor632 karma

I think it will. I'm more worried about how my girlfriend will react to it.

whathousesthissoul509 karma

Will this count as cheating? Because I mean...it's not REALLY yours.

penisindoor1184 karma

Hey, Jin Xiang made my girlfriends vibrator in China. I don't count that as cheating.

hairydiablo132634 karma

How do you pee?

Can you masturbate?

Have you had a girl/boy friend?

How did they react when you told them why you couldn't be intimate?

Can you be intimate?

penisindoor997 karma

  • I had a urethral reroute. I have a hole on the underside of my balls. I sit to pee.

  • Yes, just differently. I still have part of my shaft under there which still has nerve endings. Use your imagination for the rest.

  • Girlfriend

  • She knew me since we were little, so she knew all along.

  • Yes. Any loving couple can be intimate :)

Dabee625123 karma

I had a urethral reroute. I have a hole on the underside of my balls. I sit to pee.

Op please pics

penisindoor848 karma

I'll illustrate it verbally. It's a hole in my taint.

kotoandjuri13 karma

So, pegging?

penisindoor21 karma

Eh, not really into it.

Jimassho548 karma

Do you ever do this and then just shout "SURPRISE!!!" as you unzip?

They all say they want a guy with a sense of humor, right? http://i.imgur.com/uc89SWZ.jpg

penisindoor512 karma

lmao. I did used to trick new friends with it. won a lot of bets.

flaccidbagel407 karma

Did you or did you not hint too your doctor to find a well endowed donor?

penisindoor1382 karma

My doctor is a very straightforward ex-combat-vet no punches kinda guy. I asked him how big his penis was and that I wanted mine to be "just a touch bigger". That made him laugh.

christopia86160 karma

Man, did you think of that and be desperate for a chance to use it or did it just come to you.

penisindoor416 karma

Just popped up.

DjLaserShark371 karma

After the transplant and once it's all healed up, will you celebrate with a helicopter?

penisindoor532 karma

Heck yeah.

NekoQT320 karma

What the fuck, why did you stick your dick in the door frame??

penisindoor335 karma

I was joking around with friends.

MojarraMuncher268 karma

How will your new penis function and will you be able to have an erection?

penisindoor405 karma

I don't know, they don't know. At best a semi, but with some balloon type contraption I can achieve a full erection.

christopia86118 karma

Man, that's interesting. I mean, theres thousands of years medical history leading up to this. Out of interest, do you know the medical cost of this process?

penisindoor606 karma

I'm sure it's measured in endowments.

PaleBlueHammer265 karma

Can you get a new penis from a black dude and suddenly make up for lost volume?

penisindoor455 karma

At this point, I'd be happy to have my 12yr old dick back, even at that size. I miss my buddy.

crashspeeder432 karma

So what you're saying is you're looking for some 12 year old cock...because you miss it.

penisindoor576 karma

What else is going to fit into my taint hole?

save_the_runaway252 karma

What happened immediately after the incident? Was there a "why did I do that?" moment, a "holy fucking hell why did you do that to me?" moment, or was it all pain and no time for regret?

Was there an awkward apology from your friend after the excitement wound down?

What did your parents say?

How many people in your real life know you are currently penis-less?

What are you looking forward to most when you rejoin the ranks of the penis'd?

Holy shit, man. Holllleeeeee fucking shit. Thanks for educating us today.

penisindoor455 karma

It was a scene of utter panic and mayhem. Your penis has a huge artery (well, I don't know about yours, per say) and it supplies a lot of blood.

I had an erection the moment it happened so that was pumping in blood. If you can imagine, it was like a scene out of the Game of Thrones with the sheer level of blood that was everywhere.

My parents were pretty good about it. They didn't take it easy on me just because of it growing up. Which I thank them now for that.

I think a lot of people know... I don't know. Everyone I grew up with knew. It was kinda a big deal. Everyone in school knew but they didn't tease me about it.

I don't know. Standing up to pee. Not having to put toilet paper on the seats. The chance of possible real sex is a close second though.

sheepwithascarf201 karma

This is one of the craziest AMAs. Loving your answers. But. You had an erection as you were about slam your penis in a door?! 12 year old boys are crazy.

penisindoor220 karma

They were on the other side of the door, I popped the door just a crack and put my dick through as a joke. It all happened very quickly.

sheepwithascarf103 karma

You'd hate for something like that to be drawn out...Was there a reason for the erection or was it a 12 year old boy thing?

Btw, this is my favourite AMA. My bf is in the other room crippled at the imagined pain. He would like to send his sympathies to your severed penis and prays that you get one that is well hung to make up for it.

Edit: erection not reaction.

penisindoor212 karma

I think it's just my personality. I think I was just trying to be silly. I think all 12 year old 8 to 16 year old boys play around like this from time to time.

I'm pretty sure my last words before it happened was "c'mre and give it a little kiss" (Gremlins, the movie, was on TBS all the time around that time if you don't catch the reference)

iMogwai223 karma

Have you received your Darwin award yet?

penisindoor190 karma


KIZUKO209 karma

How has this affected any relationships you may have had?

penisindoor336 karma

Not in the slightest.

Jabronez126 karma


penisindoor326 karma

Probably worse than I did. I actually still feel bad that he's had to endure the thought of making a huge change in someone's life.

Someone_asdf192 karma

So you're waiting for a dick transplant?

Doesn't that feel kind of weird?

penisindoor226 karma

Hah, yeah. It kinda is... but if they aren't gonna use it...

OGwilly178 karma

What did you do with your amputated penis?

penisindoor462 karma

I don't know. Purina perhaps?

jesuschristhow144 karma

What (if any) are the limitations of the transplanted penis?

penisindoor486 karma

Might reject. May not get an erection. Could kill me.

dudehere976141 karma

Did your friend slam the door on your dick while fully knowing what he was doing? Also, what was it like going through puberty without having a penis? How do you orgasm and what happens when you climax? Have you spoken to anyone whose had a successful transplant?

penisindoor250 karma

Yes, he knew. He said "Eww, gross" when he saw it and slammed the door. I don't think he had a firm grasp on physics yet.

Going through puberty was a lot of fun. Had to retrain myself on how to fap. I was just learning before it happened so, it was kinda weird, but I made it work. Weirder was people asking my "if I needed any help" trying achieve liftoff... just very awkward in the puberty stage even talking about ejaculations you know?

I think I'll be the 2nd person on the planet to have it done (if it even happens). I've not talked to anyone. There was a guy in China who had his done and decided to go back.

beeraholikchik213 karma

Weirder was people asking my "if I needed any help" trying achieve liftoff...

Something something broken arms.

penisindoor165 karma

yeah... that analogy was used by another friend. This was a couple years after it happened. He said, "You know, if you had 2 broken arms, I'd, you know, help, you know, out..."

beeraholikchik181 karma

Your friend seems like a nice gay guy.

penisindoor247 karma

Aren't we all just a little gay every now and again? =)

yanminor16 karma

Why did he decide to go back?

penisindoor43 karma

Psychological problems between him and his wife. It was only 2 weeks.

chromophones125 karma

Wow! This is actually really interesting and I was wondering if you could answer some questions for me:

-Was there ever a time you thought of yourself as less of a man?

-Were there issues with confidence growing up?

-Do you ever miss what used to be there?

-What was it like growing up without a penis? Especially in those teenage years?

penisindoor214 karma

  • nope
  • Kinda. Just at gyms. I do this procedure when I get dressed to hide the fact. http://i.imgur.com/Fpez0Mv.jpg Shirt covers it. Balls swing free.
  • Yes. I had just learned how to fap, so I was pretty excited to use my new toy any chance I had
  • Different, but normal. Homework, chores, fights with the family. Pretty much normal, just lacking a penis.

Floating_Pickle56 karma

Weird question, but you said earlier you learned how to fap without a penis. Do you just climax with no mess?

penisindoor260 karma

No, it just comes out of another hole. Like, I pee out of the rerouted urethral hole under my balls. I ejaculate out of there as well.

...but I can get away with fapping very discretely. Did it all the time growing up. I'd just put paper towels in my underwear and even on the church van it would take 2 fingers down the front of my pants. Start rubbing away.... great success.

HoechstErbaulich94 karma

Did it hurt?

penisindoor359 karma

Not at all.... I'm fucking joking. Yes it hurt like a son of a bitch. Bled like a son of a bitch. Panic attack like you wouldn't believe.

Floating_Pickle141 karma

I'm just imagining a 12 year old boy running around the house with his penis hanging by a thread and screaming.

penisindoor226 karma

Don't forget the blood spraying everywhere.

Iktinos_74 karma


penisindoor66 karma


MojarraMuncher72 karma

How has this part of your body been perceived by your family and friends?

penisindoor118 karma

We don't even really talk about it that much. It's a normal thing for me about now. I pursued the transplant option myself. I let my parents know but they are concerned about a case in China that didn't go so well.

zapper011368 karma

Did you masturbate before losing your penis and how old are you now?

penisindoor155 karma

Yes, I just learned before it happened. I happened to knock a few out of the park before I lost it.

I'm in my early 30s.

sheepwithascarf55 karma

So you've spent more of your life without your penis than with it. Will it be weird finally having one again or will you just be glad?

penisindoor113 karma

You know... it was really convenient when I was growing up. I never had to worry about going up to the chalkboard with an erection. I mastered fapping with how I do it now. Just thinking of going back to the old way just seems like it would get in the way.... not to mention if something goes wrong and I lose total sensation.

PhAnToM44464 karma

So just to be clear, they... They are going to take a (presumably dead) persons penis... And they... Are going to sew it to your crotch? Does seen kind of strange to you?

penisindoor144 karma

a loooot more to the procedure to it than that.

Yes, though... Very strange.

rhapdimp50 karma


penisindoor86 karma

There is specific criteria in a donor match. Can't just be some dude.... but no. No one has ever offered me their dick. Except for my friend that did it.

gnats_ass49 karma

Does it feel like you still have a dick even though it's not there? Like, for instance, when you get 'aroused' does it feel like you have a boner?

penisindoor100 karma

I still have the base of my penis. The "stump" gets hard. I can still ejaculate.

yellow_mio18 karma

But you said you use a hole under your balls. So you ejaculate there?

penisindoor58 karma

The fluid comes out of there, but the main nerve endings are not.

twogunsalute49 karma

Did you get teased a lot growing up without a penis?

How did your parents react to it? Did they think you were a total moron?

Hope it works out and you get a nice cock.

penisindoor149 karma

Nah, never. I was super nervous at gym... but I eventually got over it. More uncomfortable was everyone wanting to see how the plumbing worked. Awkward :|

Yeah. My dad, months after, said "I bet you won't do that again". Good guy :)


totes_my_goats_48 karma

Does waiting on a new dick feel like waiting on a new car to be delivered?

penisindoor113 karma

No, it's more like unwrapping a christmas present.

arbyq500042 karma

well i'll give you this, doing this AMA proves that you've got balls

my question is...how does your ejaculation work? or does it?

penisindoor35 karma

lol. punny.

It works.

h6h740 karma

DUDE. Your friend destroyed your penis by slamming a door on it. What are your thoughts about him? Do you want him dead? Does he still feel bad? Are you friends still?

penisindoor107 karma

Best friends.

SoberIrishGuy40 karma

I know you were young when it happened, but when you realized you were going to lose your penis, what was going through your head? How long did it take you to come to terms with it?

penisindoor79 karma

I knew right away that it wasn't going the be good. The instant it happened I knew it would be earth shattering.

marcellusr35 karma

Do you do anal stimulation as a way of masturbating?

penisindoor79 karma

I have, but I still have frontal nerve endings in the stump area. My preference. I can make it work.

xpepzi50217 karma

How do you pee?

penisindoor39 karma

I had a urethral reroute. I have a hole on the underside of my balls. I sit to pee.

bubblitious14 karma

When you get horny, what happens? Will your 'new' penis work the same as a regular penis?

penisindoor41 karma

I don't know actually. It's all experimental.

Sheep_Wizard10 karma

How do you an your girlfriend have sex? Do you use a strap-on or just fingers?

penisindoor88 karma

I come in with glitter on my nipples and I eat sliced cheddar off her bare breasts.... no, no we don't do that.

I'm got the nod of disapproval from her on if i could say. Sorry.

nate8009 karma

Can you pick your donor and get a real hammer? When you get a new one, how many hours will you spend flopping it on tables and helicocktering?

penisindoor63 karma

I think it will be whatever matches the "yeah, this is compatible with his genetics and won't reject" formula.

I won't be in the morgue lifting sheets going "yeah, I dunno about this one. It's long, but just doesn't have that girth I want".

anditwaslove7 karma

I know nothing about genetics so excuse me if this is a ridiculous question but could your new penis be of a different race or would that just not work?

penisindoor9 karma

Yes, it could work, if it could work. Just like blood transfusions. It's not about the race, per say, but just the combination of things. Even trickier when it's a body part.

Mishatje6 karma

How old are you now?

penisindoor10 karma

Early 30s

SlowSlicing5 karma

What race is your new penis?

penisindoor15 karma

Gotta wait for someone to kick the bucket that's a match genetically.

iheartfrontalbums2 karma

The "friend" who slammed your dick in the door paid for your new penis right? I mean, thats the regular protocol for severing a friends dick off right? Right?

penisindoor7 karma

The hospital is paying for it. Completely.

He has me in his will. His dick.

Pax_Technica2 karma

Is the procedure covered by insurance?

penisindoor12 karma

The hospital is covering all the costs.

Eloping2 karma

How has this affected your self esteem, personal philosophy and outlook on life?

penisindoor15 karma

No clue. We live our lives day by day. Maybe if that didn't happen, I would have ran out and got hit by a car. I try not to dwell on it.

Pax_Technica1 karma

Were you circumcised? If you could pick your donor, which would you prefer?

penisindoor1 karma

Uncircumcised. I don't know how everyone has this preconceived notion that the entire US lops off foreskin.

I think that's primarily a Midwesterner thing: http://i.imgur.com/F8qJgmw.gif

I think if I had to choose, uncircumcised... right? Because I can always get it done later if I think I need to.