You have to have a blunt title about what you do. I'm Tim I'm a nobody I wanna take Unidan's title as reddit celebrity here are the things I have to offer:

I don't know anything about biology but I can tell you the best hot pockets and I can give you tips for Tony hawks pro skater two and help you navigate certain situations as a fat person. (FREE TIP: in summer only wear dark colored shirts so people only know you're sweaty when they touch you.)

Here are some more things about me:

  1. I dropped out of high school.

  2. But don't worry I got my GED and went to community college.

  3. I dropped out of community college.

  4. I've been in a Christian metalcore band, I lived in basically a commune, I have done slam poetry and now I tell jokes to drunk strangers.

You can ask me about any of that except the poetry I was awful at it. There are videos of my jokes at if you wanna look at something as you're down voting this thread. Here's a short one: I have no videos of the other things. Maybe some concert footage from the commune somewhere on the internet. I also have a twitter if you want to say hello there:

I love you.

Comments: 287 • Responses: 92  • Date: 

CobraCornelius35 karma

My girlfriend can't fit into her old jeans and now suddenly "we" are on a diet together? What the hell should I do? I'm freaking starving and she ain' happy

TimIsWin24 karma

Just sneak food!

BennyXavier20 karma

Hey Tim! Love your stuff.

  1. Thoughts on the Unidan fiasco?
  2. Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses or one horse sized duck?

jmdxsvhs1527 karma

Wait, what? What Unidan fiasco?

TimIsWin45 karma

Unidan was shadow banned for using sock puppet accounts to upvote his own submissions and downvotes the one around his post. :-(

jmdxsvhs1522 karma

Thats incredibly weird considering most people would upvote him for just being unidan anyways. Why do that, ya know? Damn. Thanks for the update. I was definitely out of the loop on that

TimIsWin22 karma

Yeah it was really bizarre. Definitely a bummer.

orangeinsight11 karma

The fact that you were able to answer this and even took the time to discuss reddit drama makes this my favourite AMA ever.

TimIsWin20 karma

Check my account man I've been here a long time ;)

TimIsWin19 karma

The Unidan thing honestly bums me out. I thought it was really cool to have that guy on this site. It's a bummer than he did that, honestly. Hopefully the whole new account thing works out but I know plenty of people will be hesitant to be cool to him.

Duck sized horses I have very heavy stomps.

mrsahi16 karma

How much would /r/GayBears have to pay you to do a set shirtless, wearing nothing but a speedo?

TimIsWin14 karma

Can we re-negotiate to boxer briefs?

mrsahi5 karma

hmmm. As long as they are tight and not baggy, that's cheating.

TimIsWin9 karma

I'll have to think about this.

enderandrew424 karma

You can have boxer briefs, but they're going to insist on nipple clamps.

TimIsWin5 karma

I'm fine with that

Jux_11 karma

How did the role of Tuvok in "Star Trek: Voyager" shape your career path?

TimIsWin14 karma

That's my good friend Tim Russ*

*I don't personally know Tim Russ.

Shouldbeworking2211 karma

tell me a joke?

Shouldbeworking228 karma

:) you make me smile

TimIsWin10 karma

And that comment made me smile. It's a cycle of smiles. Lets hug.

Toberoni11 karma

What worked better: "Ice Cream" or "Ice Cream Truck"? :-)

TimIsWin10 karma

I just say Ice Cream and then I go "or Taco maybe...I really don't know"

tofu_bacon6 karma

I just want to let you know half the reason I keep going on twitter is because you post 23/6. My question is can you upgrade to posting 24/7 so that I never have to get of the computer?

TimIsWin4 karma

People already kinda hate my manic twitter sprees tho :(

MangoBlast6 karma

What was your first time on stage like?

TimIsWin18 karma

It was great! I'm certain it was a sub par performance for sure but I got laughs and felt great. The third and fourth and fifth time on stage were soul crushing. I ate a ton of shit and spent the rlde home staring out the window with my head pressed against the door. I got over it tho. Now I can eat shit and be relatively unaffected by it.

MangoBlast5 karma


TimIsWin7 karma

Heh yeah you'll have that man just keep at it!

frozzymm3 karma

I would have difficulty eating shit and not being affected by it. What do you do about the taste?

TimIsWin13 karma

Oh you stop tasting the shit eventually. At a certain point you realize that you're eating shit and you go "Oh wow I'm eating shit. It's time to leave."

At that point you just sort of leave your body and mouth to run through the motions as your brain things about the next gig or pictures you having sex with that one hot girl you know.

Euchre3 karma

pictures you having sex with that one hot girl you know

Hopefully displacing the pictures in your brain of all those ugly, nasty, drunk girls you settled for at the last gig?

TimIsWin4 karma

I love those girls man

grantnoffsinger3 karma

Since you look like Action Bronson, do you get as many as him?

TimIsWin3 karma

Not even close my friend

Rather_Dull5 karma

Do you feel like you made the right choice in selecting comedy as a career?

TimIsWin15 karma

When I have a great weekend and I'm driving home with a pocketful of money it feels great. When I have a one nighter and I am driving home with 7 dollars it feels a little less nice. But when I started comedy I listened to a ton of podcasts and when they described their awful gigs and shitty experiences the only thing I could think was "I am 100% willing to go through that just to be able to do comedy."

Toberoni7 karma


TimIsWin3 karma

Haha few and far between my friend

drivendreamer4 karma

That attitude is where the gold is at. Keep going strong

TimIsWin2 karma

Appreciate that!

chickenKsadilla5 karma

Pros and cons of having a beard that intense?

TimIsWin46 karma

Pros: Looks fuckin awesome, drug mule capabilities, bitches.

Cons: Chicken wing sauce, people complain, the thing about bitches wasn't true.

Euchre7 karma

Do women want to touch the beard? Because like, if they ask to, you could always say you've got an even better beard you can show them.

TimIsWin6 karma

heh I actually do a joke about girls asking to touch the beard:

metagloria4 karma

Who are your biggest influences as a comedian slash who are your favorite current-day comedians?

TimIsWin9 karma

When I was growing up I always loved stand up comedy but the two comics that hit the biggest with me were Brian Regan and Mitch Hedberg. I used to sit in my basement and listen to both of their albums over and over. Hedberg is still my favorite of all time. Such remarkable joke writing.

As far as current comics: I really love John Mulaney, Hannibal Burress, Tig Notaro, Kyle Kinane and a bunch of others. Of course Louis and Burr those kind of go without saying at this point.

Odusei3 karma

Hey Tim. If you want to take /u/Unidan's place, are you willing to committ that you will never use multiple alt accounts to upvote your own submissions and downvote people you disagree with?

We've been hurt before.

Also, which is the funnier word: "penis" or "dong?"

TimIsWin2 karma

I promise. I had a couple different weird ass parody accounts but I didn't vote with them and I stopped using them a long time ago cuz they aren't funny. And it depends on the context. Ding Dong is not funny Ding Penis is kind of funny.

Odusei2 karma

Alright, final question: what is the difference between a jackdaw and a crow?

TimIsWin2 karma

I'm gonna have to consult /circlejerk

Odusei3 karma

Okay, you can be the new /u/Unidan.

TimIsWin4 karma

Great! In Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 one thing to remember is that the shoulder buttons will rotate you so you can increase the points in your combo by doing a 180 and a fliptrick into and out of grinds. Another cool tip is to map special grind tricks to up down grind button. That way if you miss the rail you land in a manual instead of ending your combo.

darth_Marshmallow3 karma

What does your job feel like?

TimIsWin6 karma

Quite different every time. Lots of new drives. Lots of new people. A lot of the same jokes.

[deleted]2 karma


TimIsWin6 karma

Just by marriage

postingthings2 karma

Hi Tim!

What's your experience been like (if any) with hecklers so far? Do you just dismiss them, or have you been working on ways to flip it into your favor?

TimIsWin2 karma

I honestly don't get many hecklers. They're a bit more infrequent than you'd imagine. It definitely happens tho. It's tough for me because I'm a bit of a jovial character on stage so I sort of have to be playful with it. I can sort of tease them and make them look silly but it wouldn't work for me to unleash hell on them and then get back into doing jokes about sweatpants and lord of the rings. It's a thin line to walk. It usually turns out alright tho.

imxrelx2 karma

I love singing, but I have a fear of performing in front of people. Recently I jammed with my sister-in-law, a first for me singing in front of anyone outside of my husband and I loved it, but I still don't feel comfortable in front of others. do you have any advice on how to overcome performing in front of friends/strangers? (Outside of imagining they are naked)

i don't want to sing for a living, just want to break out of my shell.

TimIsWin3 karma

Well to be frank singing terrifies the shit out of me because I'm terrible at it. But you aren't so...

you should go to a small bar that has karaoke and sing a few songs. There will be a crowd but everyone at a karaoke bar has the lowest of expectations so there is very little pressure. You might be in between a 60 year old man singing hank williams and a lady singing reba mcintyre terrible so you won't have to do much at all to look good. Just go there a handful of times and get used to performing in front of a small crowd.

1minuteman2 karma

can you write a joke that will make me laugh?

TimIsWin2 karma

Maybe. What kind of things make you laugh?

midgethorse4202 karma

Why do comedians frequently use other comedians jokes?

TimIsWin1 karma

I'd say "frequently" is a stretch. There are occasionally comics who steal but they're usually weeded out relatively quickly. It's something the community doesn't let happen if they can prevent it.

As far as premises - there are only so many things in the world to talk about. Similar premises are going to happen.

And sometimes parallel writing happens. Sometimes people come up with the same punchline. It happens.

Gahgahghost2 karma

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

TimIsWin6 karma


Gahgahghost2 karma

Damn you love Klondike Bars! Ever done standup in the Midwest? Des Moines/Omaha/Kansas City?

TimIsWin2 karma

I just did a run of North Dakota/Minnesota with my good friend Aaron Kleiber ( He's a headliner and he took me on the road. I'm talking him into doing an AMA cuz his would be way more interesting. He's toured with Bob Saget and Jim Breuer and did shows with a bunch of other dudes. He's got some real interesting stories.

IamBenJammin2 karma

Who was the guy you were beefing with on twitter?

TimIsWin4 karma

Just some douche man iunno

The_MrShine2 karma

How do you keep yourself interested in the jokes? Regardless of how good the content is I imagine it could get boring telling the same jokes over and over at different venues.

TimIsWin2 karma

Write new jokes to pepper in with the old. And if you're in front of a hot crowd it makes those old jokes fun all over again. Especially when everything is hitting. To know that the next sentence you say is going to make a crowd laugh is a really great feeling.

JordanJoshmitch2 karma

How do you practice rhetorics?

TimIsWin2 karma

I don't know how to answer this

Imbenbruh2 karma


TimIsWin5 karma

I think you meant to address Pigpen he's not here at the moment.

veganmeatpole2 karma

Have you ever eaten at Nicky's Thai Kitchen? It is delicious.

TimIsWin2 karma

No! I'll have to try it.

frozzymm2 karma

Hi Tim. I'm Tim. That's cool huh?

TimIsWin7 karma


frozzymm4 karma

Sounds good. Hopefully I don't get fired for drinking on the job though!

TimIsWin8 karma

Fight them

mattb102 karma

Have you ever had a joke where hardly anyone laughed?

How much of an affect is moving around on stage and making motions with your hands etc.?

TimIsWin3 karma

Yeah I have. Many many times. That's part of learning to do comedy, haha. You'll have entire sets where hardly anyone laughs.

It depends. I'm still learning a lot of how to be on stage and command an audience. I have some friends who are very good at it. I am mostly a stand there and tell jokes kind of guy, but I'm trying to expand the things I can do on stage.

zaffol2 karma

Tim, big local fan of your's. I get all excited when I go to a show and learn that you're opening.

Who was your favorite comedian to open for?

TimIsWin2 karma

It's hard to say, man. Harland Williams was a really cool guy, Tammy Pescatelli gave me some great advice, The Smash Brothers Cory and Chad were a blast to party with. I got to sort of open for Kyle Kinane (it was a showcase at a fest and I was like 10 people before him) and that was really cool. We ended up giving him a ride back to the hotel and he was sufficiently hammered and really chill. Like I said it's hard to say. The Smash Bros we partied until like 5 am so that's definitely a contender lmao.

purplepooters2 karma

A jewish guy, a muslim and non-psychotic walk into a bar... Punchline?

TimIsWin4 karma

the non-psychotic says "WHICH ONE OF YALL STILL HAS FORESKIN" turns out he loves checkin' out penises.

ghostpiles2 karma

Hi Tim, how long have you been doing comedy and how did you get so many damn twitter followers? Almost everyone I know doesn't know how twitter works.

TimIsWin2 karma

Hey I've been doing comedy for a little over 3 years now. Most of the followers are from here on reddit from doing standupshots and posting videos and such. And a bunch from the hiphopheads follow train shout out to /r/hiphopheads

verno712 karma

Tell us the one amazing moment you've had that you hold above all others because of your comedy?

TimIsWin2 karma

Probably the first time I performed in front of 300+ people. A local showcase for a radio station in a theater. It was fucking surreal. The wave of laughter after my first joke hit was a completely new experience. And later that night I met Jim Breuer and Bert Kreischer. That was dope.

Also opening for my buddy Aaron Kleiber at his DVD taping. Second time being in front of 300+. And I had a set I was really happy with. Felt super super good. And immediately after that I went over to an open mic and ate shit in front of five people. haha.

northluck892 karma

Hey Tim. Great work you are doing. Is there any way for you to write two jokes to use in a movie about two icelandic hit men - A web based comedy I'm currently writing?

TimIsWin2 karma

PM me some info about it and I'll see what I can do.

richietie2 karma

What's the most embarrassing thing to happen to you on stage?

TimIsWin2 karma

Had such a bad set in my first four months or so that I just put the mic in the stand and said "OK...." and walked off.

A_Crazed_Hobo2 karma

Soo, got any of that poetry lying around, or...?

ps. For what it's worth I genuinely found that youtube except funny

TimIsWin2 karma

Thanks! I hope I don't. I'm sure I could dig some up but I don't want to haha.

thispun2 karma

So what's your favorite song in THPS2?

TimIsWin3 karma

Guerilla Radio or Bring the Noise


Hi Tim. I love you. What's your favorite kind of weed?

TimIsWin7 karma

I don't smoke much weed because I'm broke and sometimes I get paranoid. I like the stuff that makes me laugh and I don't like the stuff that makes me think I need to go the hospital. I also like the stuff that makes my blanket feel great on my fingertips. It was green I'd that helps.

judomonkeykyle2 karma

Where can I listen to this metalcore band?

TimIsWin3 karma

Man I dunno we used to have stuff online but then when we broke up people started taking things down and stuff. It's a bummer. I mostly just screamed.

judomonkeykyle1 karma

Band name?

TimIsWin2 karma

fear takes flight haha

judomonkeykyle3 karma

I believe I found something!!

TimIsWin3 karma

oh boy you sure did this is embarassing.

mrsahi3 karma


actually, this isn't all that bad. Except for the screaming.

TimIsWin6 karma

The screaming part is me but I'm not offended it's ok

mrsahi2 karma

Just not a screamo fan.

Are you still like, Christian?

TimIsWin5 karma

This is actually an interesting question. I do have some belief but it's mostly based around the words of Christ and I'm far more of a drunk than a zealot. I support gay marriage and I'm not a douche about religion or anything. It's really hard to explain actually. Haha.

judomonkeykyle2 karma

Actually its not bad at all! I was in my fair share of local bands back in the day as a part of the Northern Virginia scene. Also, I see your "top 8" includes Neocracy! Awesome band and from what I remember, great guys!

TimIsWin2 karma

Dude those guys were the best. We played with them a few times and there were always super super chill. They played at the commune thing I was in and stole the show (and Becoming the Archetype headlined that show.).

Such solid dudes. Great beards too.

two_off2 karma

If you lost weight, would you also lose your comedic abilities?

TimIsWin2 karma

I'd hope not. I do have a fair amount of jokes in my act that relate to my weight but I'm trying to make them more few and far between as I progress as a comic. I have enough non-fat jokes to go on stage but I would lose a handful of jokes yeah.

NotSaikou2 karma

Favorite flavor of ice cream?

TimIsWin2 karma

This place called United Dairy makes a caramel delight that's really dope.

BilboWheatThinz2 karma

What venues besides the Improv are good for comedy in the 'Burgh?

TimIsWin1 karma

Arcade Comedy Theater! ( I can't say enough good things about them. Great people and a great variety of shows in both Improv and Stand Up. I'm doing a bunch of stuff there in August. I'll be on a live podcast talking about the movie Twister tomorrow. Next Saturday I'll be on the "Truth or Dare" show where we have to do improvisational stand up based on audience suggestions. Then on the 15th I'm on The Summer Mumble ( a wrestling themed show) doing commentary. If you like wrestling this show is absolutely ridiculous. It was a blast last time.

Also there are a lot of shows and venues and cool things going on around the city. Check out to find more stuff!

BilboWheatThinz2 karma

Great, Thanks Tim! Hope to see ya dahn at one em! (Yinzer accent strictly reserved for the internet)

TimIsWin3 karma

Good deal! If you're interested I'm doing a free show at Buckhead's Saloon on Wednesday. No cover charge or item minimum. At any rate PM me if you plan to come out to a show sometime and we'll hang out and whatnot.

metagloria2 karma

Ay smoke herb?

TimIsWin5 karma