I am Sinbad. Ask me any questions and I'll fix your life in 13 seconds.

This couldn't have come at better time. I am at work and got hot sauce on my shirt. How do I get it out? Please fix my problem.

Turn your shirt inside out.

Was it weird playing fictionalized versions of yourself on American Dad and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?

i love love love doing american dad and always sunny

always sunny character is really how i am.... mental

Hi Sinbad! Thank you so much for doing this AMA! In the 90s, you did a sex ed. video where you were dressed as a condom. This is something I have always remembered, and not just for the obvious reasons. Every other bit of sexual education material I had seen previously treated human sexuality as something super serious and if ever discussed it was purely clinical and sometimes shameful. After that video, I thought if Sinbad could wear a giant condom for the world to see and be cool and funny about it; I can totally go to the store and buy some without feeling super embarrassed. Thank you for that! Now I have to ask, how did you even get approached to do that, and how did they pitch being a giant condom?

You know, it was Magic Johnson's group of people at the time. And it was always my dream to play a condom (nah, but it sounds cool). Remember, AIDS was a big thing back then, and pregnancy. And for me, I figure, if as a comic I can't make fun of it, then I'm a hypocrite. So go ahead and use me. They just asked me if I would be a condom in a box and I said "only if I'm a magnum." And I was.

Sinbad, my mom gave me your "Funny Guide to Life" when I was in the hospital as a kid. It might have saved my life. Thank you so much for that.

When can I see you in movies again?

First off all, I'm glad you are with us. And second, I am working on that right now, writing some new stuff. Your mom must be a cool woman.

I watch Jingle all the Way every December. Were you asked to be back in the sequel that's now being filmed starring Larry the Cable Guy? And what do you think about Arnold coming back again as the Terminator?

what they are doing a new version without me.... ain't gonna work

I'm 32, single, and women scare the shit out me any 13 second tips?

you must think like luke sky walker and use the force with women. when you can levitate a chair you will be ready. OR just pick the finest woman in a room and walk up to her and say " i lost your number" .

What was the guiding principle for the reason you've chosen not to use profanity on stage?

I used profanity when I first started, but we all sounded the same, like bad Richard Pryor imitations. So I decided "let me try something else to set myself apart." And I realized I could say more and push it to the limit even more by leaving certain words out, doing my thing.

In First Kid you played a secret service bodyguard, who would you take a bullet for in real life?

are you crazy... i will not take a bullet for me

How did you come up with the name, 'Sinbad' ?

I loved sinbad movies ... and wanted to be him, so i took his name

Where do you keep your TurboMan doll? Did you pick one up or other toys from Jingle All the Way?

Somebody STOLE my TurboMan doll! I think my nephew stole it. I had a Dimentor Doll, and Arnold Schwarzenegger lied to me and said that he would get me a new one, and they NEVER made them. I cried. I think that they didn't want the competition between TurboMan and my doll.

Is it true that when I'm in Sinbad's house, I'm his bitch?

well look who's here... my ex

[deleted]

I am funny because because of a small gap in my brain

What was one of the funniest things that you can remember about working on set with Kenan and Kel in, "Good Burger"? *edit spelling

I asked to do that show, they were doing a Nickelodeon show. I asked to do that show because they made me laugh out loud. Oh man, it was CRAZY, it was funny. Yes, we actually ate real burgers. They were nasty. Somebody made 'em, or they might have been bought from another fast food restaurant, I never checked but I should have. And if I told you what was in the Good Burger sauce, I'd have to kill you.

Can we be friends? I don't really have a good question, but you're one of my favorite comedians and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to tell my friends that they will be replaced by Sinbad.

we are now officially friends

Are you on your eighth voyage yet? That 7th voyage was pretty cool in that movie.

wait til you see my 13th voyage

Please fix my life?

what do you need fixed

How to be happy? Thanks for the reply. I grew up watching ur films

Life can be awesome. Just claim it. See? only took 5 seconds.

Did you ever think about having your own line of windbreakers?

They were NOT windbreakers! They were Sergio Tacchini sweatsuits, back in the day. Ser-gio Tacchini. Italian sweatsuits. I would not be caught dead in a windbreaker. No windbreakers here son! And no Members Only jackets!

damn, i just looked up sergio tacchini sweatsuits. the ones that just came out are badass. may have to get one.

See? You did not understand.

I think the real question on everyone's mind is what cereal do you like best.. count chocula, boo berry, or frankenberry ?

i hated all three

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Prince is about as funky as it gets... and he is not from this earth? since he has seen the future, i follow him :)

Any cool stories about working with Phil Hartman?

Also how'd you enjoy filming Jingle All the Way in one of our ridiculous Minnesota winters?

Phil and I had a ball... we made up most of the stuff you see in the movie and minnesota had a freak heat wave while we were there

This is super weird, and I'm not sure if this will be seen, but my best friend and I regularly send each other pictures of your face to cheer each other up. I have no idea how this started, but it's been going on for years. Some sleepless night we were just talking and for some reason we can't remember, "Everything is okay, because Sinbad is awesome" became a thing.

So, my question is more like a favor, but... My best friend is named Ashley B, and she's been having a hard time lately. A lot of difficulty in her life.

Would you say something nice for me to pass along to her, or even some advice on how to keep her head up during difficult times?

tell ashley that tough times will pass... i have been thru. when times are the worst... that's when faith gets to work. tell her this might sound crazy , but start playing an instrument ... music will save your soul and tell her i will see her on the other side.

Are you coming back to American Dad? If Jeff ever returns, I want you to be a recurring character, travelling the earth chasing ghost booty.

you may join us in the realm of plasmatic and chase ghost booty with us

How did you end up on American Dad?

You know what, I think because I did a character on Family Guy, how they kind of make fun of celebrities and stuff. I said "if you're going to do me, dammit, then let me do my own voice" I think I scared them. So I did my own voice. And then they asked if I would do American Dad, and I did it.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN???

RIGHT HERE

Hey Sinbad, have you ever played a tabletop role-playing game like Dungeons and Dragons? If so, how was your experience? If not, is it something you could see yourself playing in the future?

You were fantastic on 'Sunny', by the way. Live long and prosper, dudeski.

I played Dungeons & Dragons in college with tunnels, when they first came out, it was a real game, and they had all these tunnels & underground passages. I played Dungeons & Dragons dressed up as a real character, in these underground tunnels. I had a costume on, and I felt stupid, and I hoped none of my friends would see me. I would never do that again. It was so long ago... I was always a wizard. I made my own costume, I took a sheet off a bed as a cape, and my sweatpants. I couldn't go full-blown nerd, I just couldn't.

Can you give us some awesome behind-the-scenes dirt on filming A Different World?

i had an affair with myself

It's the little things I love about you, just throwing this out there. Remember these audio clips?

http://retromaccast.ning.com/forum/topics/sinbads-voice-greeting-for

Just wanted to say, stay awesome.

man i have been an apple man since 1984 steve jobs didn't know it was me a year. when he found out he had it removed.k.. hater!

Hey Sinbad!! Thanks for doing this AMA! My favorite episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is most certainly "Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life." I'm just wondering how you got involved with the gang and what was it like shooting with them and Rob Thomas? Thanks again!

It was probably one of the best times I've had in my recent career. I loved doing that show and would love to do another episode with Rob Thomas. It was cool. It was crazy!

You've always been an "adult" comic, how do you think comedy has changed over the years? BTW You are fucking hilarious and amazing, mister funkmaster.

adult comic? is that like grown up comedy :) comics need more venues to practice and get good... plus i come from a cool generation

Sinbad,

Recently, I moved to NYC. I wanted to be more involved in singing, acting, and even computer programming, just reinventing myself. Since I've moved here, I started working 9-5 to afford living expenses, and I'm in debt, but I LOVE IT HERE. I can't leave. What should I do?

the first question is .... can you sing dance act or program? have you tried pimping.. it combines all of the above skills

What happened to the kid from first kid?

He actually became a millionaire doing technology.

Do people confuse you with the pirate often?

all the time

Tell me, Have you seen her?

I see her all the time

My son would like to know what is your favorite cereal?

Frosted Flakes. is there anything else? That's the only food that exists.

Do you know that you're almost everyone's go-to example of a comedian who plays clean but is still funny? Was that a conscious choice or is that just how your sense of humor works?

Also, for what it's worth, I watched the Brain Damaged special on Comedy Central about a thousand times.

thanks for watching brain damaged proud of that one

i was dirty for a short period but realized i could say much more by changing my language and not sound like everyone else

Well, i hate everything about my life. Why is that? Your 13 seconds starts now.

cause your life probably sucks.... change it and have some fun

Sinbad, as an actor, how did you prepare before shooting this scene?

i read thru the script and try to find out who this character is ... and then do my thang... wish i had some secret ritual i could lie and say i do

Have you ever heard the podcast "How Did This Get Made?"

It's hilarious and simple. they watch a movie, and then talk about it. They do Jingle All the Way. It's so funny, man.

If you haven't, check it out. It's hosted by Paul Sheer, June Diane Raphael and Jason Mantzoukas.

i need to see that ... will watch tonight

what's your favorite video game?

Pong

i have adhd can't sit long

Sinbad you are one of the funniest guys I have ever seen, those damn steps are always so much louder at night. What was it like on the set of Jingle all the way, was Arnold a good guy?

Oh yeah, Arnold was the coolest cat in the world.

How many tacos could you eat in one sitting?

two before i go into a coma

Sinbad, do you still have any of those awesome parachute pants you wore back in the 90's? If so, PROVE IT!

Also, thanks for all the laughs throughout the years.

You know what? Those came from a place called Parachutes on Melrose. Yes, really. No, I don't have any. You got to know when you let things go.

I am from Wichita, KS. I heard one of your old clips on comedy central radio not to long ago and just wanted to remind you how awesome it is here. Do you ever miss it?

do i miss living in Wichita ? really

If you were a heron, what would your average day schedule look like?

i would just nod off and chill.... oh you meant Heron i thought you meant Heroin... my bad

Have you ever thrown a white kid in a pool at Denzel Washington's house?

is this TMZ

How many years in prison do you think your character in Jingle All The Way served in prison for the various felonies?

Also, that movie seems to take place in a 63 hour day or something, ever notice that?

it's like the series 24.. we kinda stretch the day out.. and he would be given 15-20 for his crimes

Does comedy have a casting couch? AA Support?do you think its needed?

comedy does have a casting couch. and i have slept on it many times

You have always seemed to steer clear of the "scene" often associated with comics of your Era. Was this just good PR, or willpower?

the "scene" is that code for drugs? i don't get drink or get high I have ADHD so i have a mind scrabble going on all day in my brain

How do I build broken confidence that has been slowly destroyed over the years?

forgive ( for yourself) and move on

Sinbad, Lifelong fan. So much so that I have taken to memorizing some of your best bits and doing them for my friends after a few cocktails. Royalty check in the mail.

Will you please take a picture holding the attached picture and upload it? It's me doing my best to imitate the master of comedy himself. Also, women really be shoppin don't they?

http://i.imgur.com/SjH8McL.jpg

check twitter later... will tweet it

Sinbad, how do I find true love?

gotta go thru a lot of fake ones first

Sinbad,

What did you think of Minneapolis while filming Jingle All the Way? I know someone who had a small role in that movie and love watching it every Christmas.

Also, I sincerely hope you answer this question: What's your favorite James Bond movie?

favorite james bond movie is ;GOLD FINGER...loved the theme song

FIRST of all, I'm the funkmaster around these parts, WINKY FACE.

Secondly, when I was a teenager and a mallrat, my local mall had a BUNCH of posters of you everywhere where you were like an astronaut and saying "Math is POWER!" or something like that. I was wondering, how the heck do you get to DO something that cool? Did the math league or whatever just contact you?

Na, I was a chemistry major, I was a chemical engineering major in college. So my brother (who was my manager at the time) was in engineering. So we would always tell people music is math, comedy is math, it's all beats and numbers. I think math scares people because we call it math. Ok, so I'm going to tell you a secret I never told anybody: I was in mu alpha theta, which is a high school math club, which I hid from all my athlete friends I played basketball with. I like math. I thought I was going to be an engineer. I thought I was going to be the person you hired to blow things up, a demolitions expert. And then I realized I didn't like going to class so I changed, and entertainment took over my life. But I still like math. And blowing stuff up too.

I want people to see that it's not un-hip to try to be smart.

You were hilarious in Jingle all the Way. What was it like working with Arnold?

arnold is crazy and funny

How do I get better at flirting with guys? (guy here too)

quit flirting ... just be bold and say what you want ... all the flirting is irritating

How do you feel about Taco Bell?

I can't eat somewhere where a dog is the mascot.

Is there a quote or saying you live your life by?

l1. lead follow or get out of the way 2 . never to late to start over

Where have you been?

in the last 15 minutes?

Is Rob Thomas still your bitch?

only when we are locked up

What are you working on now....any do you need a partner in crime? Please

more movies ... more tv ..... my band ... my daughters band... and whatever else i can find time for

Loved your reality show. Would you do another reality show? And do you feel the show helped or hurt your career?

i looked at my reality show as more of a sitcom. was trying to show hollywood that comedystilil worked.. they cancelled because we wouldn't fight more

Do you own Rob Thomas?

only on the weekends

Favorite song to sing in the shower?

anything by earth wind and fire

What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Play music and learn new instruments. And astral-project myself.

Are there any upcoming projects in your future?

yes... movies this coming fall i am writing

Who do you think is funny in stand up today?

Non-serious question: Do you still wear track suits in your stand up?

lots of funny folk kevin hart, chase anthony , terri moore

Can you make it rain junk food for me?

what food do you like you eat while on the pole

Do you like to cook?

What's your favorite meal?

What's your favorite animal?

Only breakfast, it's my favorite meal. My favorite animal is a tiger.

How's your tracksuit game these days?

Oh man, I'm just a Jordan Nike man now.