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Alright you perverts! I'm that dude with three testicles...ask me anything!
Let me just get a couple things straight:
-Location: I'm not getting anymore specific than I live near Toronto, Canada.
-Account name: This is a throwaway account I have had for a little while now and when I made it I never planned on uploading pictures of my balls. The name is related to my past (and admittedly illegal) psychedelic use. I have since discontinued ANY ILLEGAL DRUG USE. Other than alcohol I have not used anything in months. The name is a reference to magic mushrooms. Mushrooms can be found in some gardens. Gandalf is magic. Simple.
Proof:
HandsomeTurtles372 karma
purplepooters337 karma
I bet if you auctioned the third one Lance Armstrong would pay big.
Floormaster84332 karma
At what point did you say i better have a doctor tell me its not cancer?
Floormaster84123 karma
Thanks for the reply, follow up. Have you ever had a hormone test done to see if you produce more testosterone than the average joe?
GardenofGandalf198 karma
No I havent but as you probably noticed I am not very hairy ahah.
heyfgt285 karma
Have you ever considered naming them Alvin, Simon, and Theodore? Which one would be Alvin?
Infected_Cunt_Wart272 karma
Any issues with running? Also, and most important, when it's hot out do all 3 stick to your legs or just two leaving the 3rd hanging like a little meatball pendulum?
IAmTheTrueWalruss193 karma
Do you have a nickname for the almighty tri-sack? The trinity? Three musketeers? Threes -a-company?
GroceryPants442 karma
Trifecticles? The Three Nutskateers? Ballverly Hills Cop lll? Never mind that last one. You're The Juggernutt, bitch!
jonny_nutsack157 karma
Dude. I feel like you could get so much ass because of this. You'd bashfully tell a female friend "would a girl find it weird if they saw a dude had 3 balls?" they'd go yeah... why?
Then you'd say "...cuz my friend".
Then, their curiosity would grow, until they can't take it any longer and go, "Gandalf, show me your goods!" Then you'd be like, " Behold my ballz!"
sunnysidemegg121 karma
Are you type A (all three testicles fully functional, connected to a vas deferencs) or type B (no connection to vas deferens)?
What's a typical reaction from a partner? from doctors or nurses?
GardenofGandalf144 karma
I wanna say type B, but I'm not really sure. I've had the same doctor forever, and he's known for a long time, so there isnt much a reaction. No friends or partners even know.
sunnysidemegg69 karma
Thanks for replying - I didn't know it was possible. Now I'm going to wonder if a partner who's touchy about his balls is actually very sensitive or maybe hoping I won't notice something. J/k. Sort of.
sunnysidemegg50 karma
I would think the reaction would be similar to what you see here - curiosity, a few questions, I can't imagine it'd be negative.
hollerforapoopdollar33 karma
So, have you not had any sexual experiences before? Or did they just not notice?
bossgalaga88 karma
WAIT WAIT WAIT. I have to ask...how old are you?
(Not that everybody needs to lose their virginity before 18, but um, I need to know I just looked at legal balls if I was gonna look at balls at all this afternoon)
sunnysidemegg4 karma
Maybe start with dating girls who have taken anatomy? Or, even better, with a nursing background? After you've wiped poop off an old dude's massive balls, 3 in a totally normal looking sac would be just cute.
Seriously, though, I'd just think it's quirky and different - can't see any of my friends getting too freaked out, either.
GardenofGandalf6 karma
Haha thanks for the comment! Nice knowing whats going on in other people's heads...
GardenofGandalf207 karma
Whenever I hear someone say it I turn my head to see if that person was talking to me.
laughingbuildsabs73 karma
But now whenever someone says to you, "wow you've got balls", you can be like, "yes. three of them, to be exact."
BillFireCrotchWalton108 karma
How many people know about this? Close friends? Relatives? Siblings? What were their reactions? Initial reactions from sexual partners?
Tarron100 karma
why did you want to show your genitals onto a random forum like reddit?
You said in your first post "Finally I turned 18" or something like this. Which showed a general excitement.
Was you excited to show your private parts out? I know it's funny, but were you in general excited?
RedHotChiliPenguins69 karma
TFW I know people love my balls and want to know more about them.
ka-splam37 karma
When tomorrow comes, roughly how much will you feel of the following:
- Relief that people know
- Regret for posting pictures at all
- Wishing you'd posted more
- Shame that you took dong photos with a dirty mirror
?
GardenofGandalf63 karma
Im kinda neutral on the fact that thousands of people have seen my balls, and no shame!
Just2bad89 karma
Reminds me of an old joke. A guy has three balls and wants to make some money. So he goes into a bar and bet a guy that between them they have five balls. So they go into the bathroom and the other guy drops his pants and says, here's mine, lets see your four.
Frumundaman83 karma
Have you ever wished you had a different number of testicles? I mean, 2 has gotten pretty stale for me. Do you ever dream of like, 4.5 testicles? Or even 4.6?
GardenofGandalf104 karma
Im thinking right now and although this is interesting 2 would be prime.
r_a_g_s57 karma
Curious if you've had a sperm count test to see if all the plumbing works. (Might be worth doing at some point before the possibility of marriage rears its fertile head.)
And, of course, there's that Monty Python sketch....
GardenofGandalf71 karma
I'm yet to have any testing done. I'm starting to think it would be a good idea though!
r_a_g_s40 karma
For sure. If it works, you'll know in case you find Ms. Right. If it doesn't work, at least you'll be prepared. (My brother only has 2 balls, but he got mumps at age 6 — pre-mumps-vaccine days — and found out later once he got "active" that he's been shooting blanks ever since. Pros and cons, but it was good to know for sure.)
Gray_Fedora55 karma
The good part is his deep manly voice. The bad part is he needs a beach towel for a spuge rag.
Electa50 karma
Have you ever compared how much you ejaculate to another man? Would you say less or more?
HandsomeTurtles43 karma
Pretty Ballsy to post this if you ask me
sorry had to
Question: how do partners generally react?
GardenofGandalf46 karma
Haha none have found out. I'm not gonna go say I've been with many though...because I haven't.
HAWTITS36 karma
I will respect you when you get three chicks to suck each nut at the same time.
NegroConFuego36 karma
Did this joke go over your head when you first saw it, or did you always know that you had one more scrote than what's considered "normal"?
Filthy7Tiarra28 karma
Do you battle fear of rejection or teasing while dating?
Have you tried/thought of getting one removed?
Is that even a possibility? (Questions of the female mind)
GardenofGandalf42 karma
Ive thought of getting one removed, sometimes I think of fear and rejection but then realise I could probably play it right. I'm sure it is a possibility.
thedorkygirl57 karma
Unless there is a medical reason, I don't think you need to remove any to feel better about yourself. It's not a big deal, honestly, more like novelty. And if my boyfriend had three balls, all my girlfriends would know, because I would brag
reddking45 karma
Dude, no. You have three fucking balls. That is awesome. That would pretty much be my opening line if I were you. You're only 18, so you've probably got a lot of experiences ahead of you, and I don't think you're going to see any negative responses to that. Best of luck, man!
TheSmartestMan66 karma
Wait a second... I just looked at your balls. How fucking old are you?
you_fucking_cunts18 karma
Is the bounciness a problem when you go for a jog? Also have you ever worn spandex at the beach?
GardenofGandalf20 karma
The bounciness isnt really an issue with the right underwear and I can't say i've ever worn spandex at the beach...
RedHotChiliPenguins15 karma
Obviously your parents and probably close family are aware. Is it solid joke material within the family circle? You don't seem to be sensitive to the issue.
PairofDoctors11 karma
Do they affect your confidence with girls at all? It doesn't look like they'd even notice it truthfully
RedHotChiliPenguins10 karma
Has any classy lady had the pleasure of fitting all three in her mouth?
Consideritsketched5 karma
Are they all the same size and function the same? And if so, do they require any extra "attention?"
HokutoNoChen4 karma
So what's the big deal? Why can't you just surgically remove one? Should be simple as hell.
casual_shoggoth2 karma
What deity would you choose to sacrifice a ball to, if you were to sacrifice a ball?
Thereswaldo1012 karma
Do you get 1.5 times the amount of satisfaction i get when i unstuck my balls from my thigh?
GardenofGandalf10 karma
Not sure if they all function or not...and I don't think my load is that big...
me_know_more2 karma
Have you named them yet?
If not, are you open to suggestions?
My fav: The Three Nuteteers
Zombies_hate_ninjas2 karma
Holy shit you're also Canadian. Somehow I see this as our new secret super weapon.
Other than being more masculine than every other man by default, what other super powers do you have? Can you control your erection like Brock Sampson?
hollerforapoopdollar1 karma
This isn't a question, more like a recommendation..
Show everyone (IRL) your balls. You'll be the man, and I'm sure you'll pull pussy. I had a buddy with GIANT balls, and he constantly whipped them out. Chicks loved them, dudes laughed everytime(not at, with)
Do it.
GardenofGandalf4 karma
Haha maybe I will. The only thing is, they look pretty normal, so I would have to go "hey guys guess who has three ball" and gather everyone in a circle to look.
hollerforapoopdollar1 karma
Make it a bet or something funny..
When you hear someone talking about their balls (my balls are so big, etc) say something like, "bitch please, I've got enough to feed a small family" and whip those bad boys out. Don't waste this opportunity, bro. Sooner > later.
PolarBearITS1 karma
How noticeable is it when you're "getting down" with a woman? What reactions have you gotten when they found out?
stackablesoup1 karma
Hi, long time listener, first time calling... I have a few questions.
- Have you ever been in a situation where you've wanted two instead of three?
- Has it ever affected you personal /sexual life? You should try bring it up, you may not seem as sexually active as /u/doubledickdude but you should try it on some girls!
- Do you come more ejaculate than a normal person?
- Do they happen to clack more?
- Have you ever been hit in the balls and how much did it hurt?
- Who else knows about them?
Thanks and sorry for all the questions!
GardenofGandalf1 karma
Id rather have 2. They do clack sometimes. Im working on getting more out there and hooefully that will result in more sexual activity. I have been hit and it really hurts! My parents and doctor know about them.
stackablesoup1 karma
Why would you rather have 2? I'd strut around like a wild tri-balled peacock, girls like that shit, or at least interested in it! Hell, I'd fuck doubledickdude just to see what it'd be like and that's what I'm talking about!
And good luck on the getting out there more often!
Infinity___Now1 karma
Do you think getting hit in the balls would hurt more or less without a third testical?
Is the third one functional?
GardenofGandalf3 karma
It probably hurts more. I'm not sure if they all work. I would think at least one does.
SherrickM1 karma
Since Im sure you'll be asked tons of questions about your balls, I'll leave that out. What are your favorite authors? bands? What's your ideal afternoon activity if you have no pressing matters?
GardenofGandalf2 karma
I like EDM just because I love to jump and dance! I really like Avicii! I love to play sports and team fortress is my fav game right now.
SherrickM1 karma
what sports do you play? I can't imagine you on a swim team, for instance. ;)
kansas11111 karma
I know who this is....Here's how: 1) Lives [in]/near Toronto, Canada 2) Used to use psychedelic drugs 3) Denies current illegal drug use in ALL CAPS 4) Repeatedly denies drug use "anything in months" except alcohol 5) Has 3 testicles
TL;DR this must be Rob Ford, Mayor of Toronto
EDIT: HOLY SHIT! I get home to Reddit Gold, +900 internet points, and 14 messages. Thanks Rob!
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