I am Kayden Kross. I've done porn, and some other stuff. Mostly porn. AMA!

Ok guys I've been at this for almost five hours so I'm going to trot off and eat some graham crackers or something. Thank you for joining me on this super informative journey, as I'm sure it's been exactly that for everyone.

Also, please don't let anyone spread rumors about me using corporate writers for my AMAs.. I hear that happened last time. I write my own shit. I may be lazy and hire people to do other things, but the writing is mine.

Toodles

How do I tell you I love your videos without sounding like a creep?

Just like that. That came off nicely

Sooooo...um...how's your vagina these days? Everything good? No hickups with the ol' taco?

I still feel like I got punched. So it's like that.

[deleted]

Treat it like a giant giant clit

Does it work the other way? Treat a clit like a tiny, tiny dick?

exactly

Hi Kayden!

Can you and Stoya make an actual bookclub?!

I keep suggesting this.

I don't have a question. I just wanted to say congrats to you and Manuel for your daughter.

thanks!

What is the best and worst thing you got from being in the porn industry?

The best would probably be the experiences. I've been paid to sit in a two person plane while it did barrel rolls in the sky. I've been paid to take pictures with cheetahs in Africa. I was able to spend two weeks road tripping most of Eastern Europe and in Australia I got to play with a koala bear. The worst thing is probably just the fact that these things end early. You can't spend 40 years building on one career that you love. You have to go in knowing you'll eventually have to start over somewhere else.

So where are you going to start over?

Probably making/directing/writing porn instead of starring in them?

Yes I've been doing some of that, and then just straight up writing. A lot of non porn writing. My fingertips are almost bleeding from the keyboard. Not really.

You should try some short stories too. They are good to "polish" your style.

I've done a few. Harper published one in their "Forty Stories" thing. That was a high point in my life.

Congrats. Do you have any other highlights from your life you want to tells us about. Doesn´t have to be porn. Any good story will do.

Well, giving birth. Not the feeling. That sucked. But immediately after I stopped screaming it was amazing.

Novels or something?

BTW, love your work.

trying at a novel.. or something. I have one thing that hit a little over 100k words before I realized it needed some serious reworking, and another that I've been picking away at that just needs.. more. I'm at 68k words on it.

Been there. Hope you keep at it, I'd like to read it one day.

I'm keeping at it but there is the eternal doubt that comes with each new page. I keep thinking I should start over. But that would probably suck worse than working through the doubt.

How do people you meet(that are not in the business) normally react when you tell them how you earn a living?

They don't because I don't tell them. I'm still finessing that speech.

"I'm in show business."

But then they try to google you. That's the worst. Some stranger googling your vagina right in front of you, only not expecting to see your vagina.

So would strangers googling your vagina be ok if they knew what they were in for? Because I'm googling your vagina now.

Yes vaginas are better when they don't take you by surprise, I think

How many of your videos do you actually have an orgasm in?

Most. Any scene where I'm given a shot at missionary means I've probably had an orgasm. Any place where you see me having an orgasm in cowgirl or reverse cowgirl is most likely fake. Doggy is 50/50.

How do you feel about one of your videos being featured in "Don Jon"?

That was a pretty awesome surprise. I'd never seen myself on such a large screen before.

What made you start, and leave porn?

Also, are "fluffers" real?

Fluffers have not been real for some time now, or ever, as far as I know. Maybe they were slightly real. Not intentional. Like some guy would be having a hard time getting wood and some chick would be hanging around the party... I dunno. I wasn't there. No one from the glory days ever mentions fluffers.

I wouldn't say I've left porn. I've taken a minor leave of absence, if you will.

I am very excited to hear this. How long do you think you'll be out?

It's hard to tell. I'm only going to be performing in projects I have control of going forward, and I'd like to have my body back to where it was before I got pregnant. I'm about 90% there. Just need to get that muscle tone back..

Can you pick my porn name for me?

tell me more about yourself.

I like rap, rock, wrestling, and dogs.

The Left Handed Rock

Wow I think he just did my job for me.

You just replied to me, OMG

This is going on my future résumé

Well you replied to me too. This is very reciprocal.

Then I replied.

I just want to be included

me too. i love you kayden!

I feel like we all just bonded

So, tacos or corn dogs?

Can I be honest? I've eaten nothing but graham crackers since January 23rd. I've lost all sense of an appetite. And all memory of one. Probably corn dogs though. I like to put ketchup on things. It's how I show my patriotism.

I'm not sure if /u/ShadowSkeet meant for that to be answered literally.

Yeah I realized that after the fact. But my stomach was growling and that was the filter it was passed through.

I've eaten nothing but graham crackers since January 23rd.

Why?

I had a baby on January 23rd, and the biggest side effect (besides the weight of being responsible for another human life) has been that I now find all food gross, especially the more solid foods. Literally no appetite whatsoever. At first I thought it was a neat thing but now I'm just annoyed.

Have you ever had relationship problems because of your line of work?

Of course. Big ones. Even when I've dated male talent. But that comes with the territory.

do u ever watch porn yourself?

No. It is intensely boring. I end up critiquing it he whole time.

Sometimes if you want it done right you have to do it yourself.

This is true. I wish there were many versions of me and I could run them all at once. I'd have a porn empire.

Ha. What do you look for in a good porno? What are your critiques like?

Lack of cheesiness is the first thing. It feels like that's not so much a budgetary problem as a general lack of self awareness on the part of those involved.

How did you get cast for the Nekrogoblikon music video?

I knew the director and he just asked if I'd do it. I wish all things were that simple.

How was your Breaking Bad experience? Btw, love your stuff, keep it up.

It was one of the most surreal, amazing, and exhausting days of my life.

The behind the scenes video is available here => they say you danced for 14 hours?!

Yeah... I only had an hour or so of sleep because I was so jittery.. the pick up time from the hotel was 5:15am and they had me on set at 7am. The entire day was that scene, and I was dancing through all of it. We wrapped at 9pm. My legs were shaking for like 3 days.

How much thought or time does it take to decide on a pseudonym for porn? Does alliteration help your career?

I think it's a placebo thing with alliteration. We all seem to use it but I wouldn't say there's any correlation between success and starting your first and last name with the same letter... though it does make it easier to remember when you're getting going. Maybe. Maybe it makes it harder. A lot of us end up misspelling names to force the alliteration, which maybe fucks potential fans up in the Google search... I put more thought into this answer than I put into my porn name, if that gives you any idea.

What's your ideal penis size?

Edit: also, is it true many porn stars only do porn so their escort business is more sought-after?

Thanks!

xoxo

Manuel is my ideal penis size. He would have been my ideal penis size no matter what he was packing though.

To answer your second question, that has been a rising trend as the economy/economics of porn have gone southward. It is not a steadfast rule, but I see it now and I didn't see it when I first came into the business.

How and why did you get into the business? If you could go back in time would you still do it?

I started stripping at 18. That's the gateway drug. I would still do it. I would do things differently, with the knowledge I have now. But that is true of anything for anyone. Porn has been good to me.

I started stripping at 18. That's the gateway drug. I would still do it. I would do things differently, with the knowledge I have now. But that is true of anything for anyone. Porn has been good to me.

Care to elaborate on what you would do differently?

I would have started earlier, and probably chosen one company to stay under contract with and just stuck with it. There is a lot of starting over when you switch contracts... it's a six month turn around to get a movie out, etc. I would have started a website immediately and pushed it hard. Websites have been eroding in value year after year so it was more worthwhile earlier on. There are other things. Investments I would have made earlier and whatnot.

What's in your pocket (when you wear pants)?

All I wear are yoga pants, which are sans pockets.

Thank you for your service.

You are welcome

Well this is my proof link. And also, I really didn't intend to start at 2:32 pm.. I was just sort of setting this whole thing up but I am not a reddit savant, if you will. I can barely work twitter. tmblr.co/ZLjygx16e3GfW

Are you investing your money wisely?

So far so good. I've been more lucky than wise I think.

Does it creep you out when random people approach you and tell you they love everything you've ever done, or is that something that's supposed to come with the territory? I always thought that would be one hell of an awkward situation regardless, like it's best just to say thanks and move on.

It's not creepy at all. It's just more shocking that I'm recognized. I walk around dressed like a bum.

For camouflage purposes or just 'cause?

I think I'll go with the camo answer.

When did you decide this was the industry for you?

On day 2.

Day one was not so hot though?

Nerve racking. That's day one.

Who was the first pornstar you worked with?

Manuel Ferrara. He seems to be a constant in my life.

If i was a girl, I'd also try to make him a constant in my life.

You get it.

Of all the scenes you have done, which one is your favourite?

You should get on Kassem G's "Going deep with" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji6aYOJJHhY&list=PL2DF3673D1DF139A3&feature=c4-overview-vl

I was actually booked to do that show but ended up being double booked that day and Stoya filled in for me...

I really like the scenes I did in "The Smiths". I think all around that was probably my best movie.

Does anyone in your family feel embarrassed about your profession? Or are they open and accepting of it?

No one in my family has ever said to me, 'Hey, I'm embarrassed by what you do." I'm sure there are people in my more extended family who are not thrilled with it (I come from a super religious family), but they've never spoken up or treated me any differently. I'm close with my more immediate family and they are very supportive of me.

What is your favorite book/novel of all time?

I have a few... East of Eden has been what I would call an important book. I notice book nerds throw that word around. Important. It makes sense. A book becomes important to me when I start using it as a bar I judge books against going forward. Infinite Jest. Wittgenstein's Mistress. There is a book I read over and over and over again growing up called "King of the Wind". It's no literary masterpiece but it is maybe the reason I kept reading. The Sound and the Fury was an important book. I read it in 7th grade and wouldn't say I understood a word of it. But it was so beautifully written that it sucked me into real literature as opposed to the John Grisham route.. I could keep going but then I may not stop..

Awesome response, and, no joke, East of Eden is my favorite book. I absolutely loved the story and the characters, particularly of Tom, and the message of the book. And thinking of a real life Cathy is terrifying. Thanks for the answer!

I think there are Cathys in the world, and yes, it's terrifying.

Gotta love Sam Hamilton too.

I wonder how much of his character was fictionalized, considering Olive Hamilton was Steinbeck's real mother. It feels like a more personal book than the others of his I've read.

Thank you so much for your work!!! Big fan!! My question: What's the funniest incident you have gone through while filming a scene?

I think every time I've broken a set in a scene has been funny. Often painful, but funny nevertheless. Falling off of beds is funny. Directors dropping their pants behind the camera and bending over to expose their delicate pink assholes while we're trying to do something serious is funny. All dialogue, ever, is funny. The grammatical disadvantage that porn script writers seem to possess as a rule is funny..

Directors dropping their pants behind the camera and bending over to expose their delicate pink assholes

Uhh, why?

To keep up the goodwill? To see if we'll break character? As some ironic comment on the situation? I never thought to ask.

why not? ¯_(ツ)_/¯

It just seemed so natural at the time

What's one tip that you can give to do better when with a woman?

Sex tip? Or picking up a chick? You're gonna have to narrow this one down. No matter what, just never act like your very sense of self worth hinges on her approval. We hate that.

What was the last book you read?

Just finished Cat's Cradle, which I should have read a decade ago. Vonnegut is a master.

Please disregard my username for a moment. I don't want this to sound bad and try to make you feel bad but do you ever regret going into your industry?

I don't regret going into this industry at all. It's made me who I am, and I like this person. I can't say I necessarily liked the person I was before. Couple that with the incredible experiences its given me as well as the part where I met the man with whom I now have a child.. overall it was a good deal.

What is porn like behind the scenes? Is it like its played out to be in movies with a whole bunch of people and a full buffet and all that stuff, or is it more like just the actors and a small camera crew?

It used to be a much bigger thing--especially on the feature sets. Big crews and locations and stories and scripts and big catered sets. But as technology has changed the way porn is distributed (AKA made porn free), the budget has been whittled down to only allow for the most base things.

When porn stars have sex whilst off the clock, do you find that you default to positions that are "camera friendly"(e.g. postured upright in missionary) out of habit?

By the way, No one survives and Cooking with Kayden are amazing.

Also by the way, you severely downplayed the unicorn's agility and ability to maneuver in your unicorn vs. rhino scenario.

I find that we almost purposefully go the other direction and close up to some invisible camera. Thank you for watching my youtube videos. I need to make more of those.. I feel like I treated the unicorn fairly in my analysis but I would be open to your suggestions.

How far can you punt a football.

My football punts are nothing to write home about.

What are the biggest differences between porn sex and real sex? Besides all the guys with cameras filming you

There is a term we use called "opening up for the camera". Basically it involves keeping the two or more bodies apart enough that the nitty gritty stuff can be seen by the camera. That is probably the biggest difference. People having sex for reasons not related to mass distribution tend to not give a fuck whether outsiders can see in. Then there is the extreme amount of bodily grooming. People tend to not get too worked up about this to such an extent... Girls on porn sets tend to smell overly sanitary. I think the biggest difference though is the pacing. Sex on a porn set happens on a schedule and in an order. Sex in real life just happens. You will notice a marked difference if you've done both.

What was it like doing your cameo in The League?

It was hard not to laugh. It was all improv so it just never stopped...

This might be a strange question, but it would be very nice if you tried to answer. How do you think porn has changed society in the last 30 years and what kind of role do you see for it in the future?

I think porn is pretty passive in this regard. Obviously it can't interact with a thing without changing it in some way.. but that is the nature of interaction rather than some quality unique to porn. I think technology has changed society in a major way, one way being the free access its given to porn. Porn really only responds to consumer demand from there... but at the same time as consumers have their demands met by porn their demands seem to increase in some way.. eh. I can't answer this. Don't know why I tried. In the future I think the porn industry will be pushed out by the mainstream industry doing more and more risque stuff. One day there won't be a gap, and porn definitely isn't the one stepping up to fill it. If anything our production quality is retracting, not pushing forward.

What was the best girl-girl scene you ever did?

I think the one I did with Bree Daniels in "Girl Squared" was profound. Then again I wrote it and directed it and picked the girl, so it would have been profound for me either way.

I don't have much to ask at the moment that can't be Googled but I just wanted to thank you for all you've done!

Well thanks! This is an easy thing to answer.

Why did you win the citizenship award?

I'm actually not sure why they called it that, in hindsight. It went to the student who was best behaved and pulled the best grades. First grade was my peak, man.

What percent of porn is real?

Real how? This is probably an impossible question to answer, because if you mean "real" as in, sexual interest and orgasm, I can only answer from personal experience.

Like the story lines. Obviously the scenes with big name actors who act as random strangers who randomly meet and have sex are fake. Stuff like those "college party invasion" movies. Where its a random (or supposed to be) person. Are those people others from the industry/

For the same reason no celebrity sex tape can be accidentally leaked, no porn scene can be accidentally shot. Producers have to verify legal age with two forms of ID and get any number of signatures ahead of time to release any type of adult content. It's called 2257.

I'm putting my own spin to this question: How much of the pleasure you express is real? Does sex feel good behind camera?

Sex absolutely feels good. Certain positions, though, either require more time to build up to it than we're allotted, or just don't feel good at the pace that porn sets. They don't feel bad. They just won't get me there.

What is the weirdest shoot/ movie you have done?

Family Matters felt strange the whole time we were shooting it. Awkward, more than anything. There was another one where I had to shoot with an ex boyfriend..

What is an average day like filming porn?

Long. It's a lot of waiting around. I usually nap. These are feature sets, though. The gonzo stuff that most girls do for most shoots tend to be an in and out type deal, no pun intended. A typical day for a feature set for me would involve waking up at 5am to meticulously groom every last inch of myself, driving for an hour to get outside of the county and therefore outside of the condom jurisdiction, jumping in the make up chair at 8am, realizing they hadn't written the script yet at 9am, and then going back to bed until noon. We'd wrap near midnight.

Don't have a question. Just wanted to say that I love your blog. My favorite thing you've written was a few years ago about the guy that had committed suicide.

Thank you. I love my blog as well. I should spend more QT with it.

Congrats to you and Manuel! Also, just wanted to say I loved Kayden's Review and wish your co-host didn't move.

My question is: what are some good books you've read recently and would recommend?

I'm big time in a Steinbeck phase. We were talking about East of Eden in another thread. I recently discovered John Fante. Ask the Dust is his best in my opinion. I hate admitting how much I liked reading Gone Girl Gillian Flynn (Sp?). William Gibson has a book called 'Distrust that Particular Flavor'. I have fun coming back to it but I can't seem to read too much in one sitting. I did finish the newest Malcolm Gladwell book in one sitting though. Worth it.

can you please ask if Isis Taylor will be my Valentine?

I will try to pass that along. Her husband may pose a problem for you, though.

Just wanted to tell you I'm a fan from Lebanon beirut. I love you.

Anyway will you ever do a scene with Anissa Kate ?

I don't know Anissa Kate. I'm sure she's lovely but I can't at this time give you an answer one way or another.

Graham Crackers or Animal Crackers?

Graham Crackers. duh

I just want to thank you because, from what I've seen, you tend to keep some pubes. I've never gotten this whole totally shaven fad. The pubes are so underrated these days. Well done.

Thanks! I take pride in my tiny landing strip.

What's your favorite movie? I guess I'm asking about movies of the non-pornographic sort, but anything works!

I've seen Natural Born Killers probably 20 times. But at least ten of those were for a school project. I'm more into the really strikingly well written TV series. Breaking Bad, The Newsroom, House of Cards..

Everybody who started asking questions at 2PM suck. I was super excited for this AMA to start.

Anyway, I didn't really have a question but I wanted to say that I love all of your writing! Thank you for doing this AMA! :D

Well it's my fault. I didn't mean to make the thing go live at 2:30 pm. Thank you though. I'm always happy to hear that someone is reading the writing.