You want to make movies? You like movies? You hate me? I'm Eli Roth - ASK ME ANYTHING. I dare you.

How would you feel about an Inglourious Basterds remake starring an all-Muppet cast where Fozzie plays The Bear Jew?

(This is in reference to a thread that emerged a few days ago in AskReddit).

I'd cry with joy.

Will you read my script?

Nope

Hi Eli. I like you A LOT. Like, more than a friend. Your move...

Let's make sex. I hear it's fun

Thanks everyone, that was really fun. Great questions. Please take a chance on a new director and check out our movie Aftershock. It's really fucked up, but fun and weird and we took a lot of chances and tried to do something different and make a fun scary rollercoaster ride. You can see it in theaters, on iTunes, VOD, On Demand - it's a brand new way of releasing called an Everywhere release and we are the test case. All links are here:

http://gowatchit.com/movies/aftershock-266135

Let me know what you think @EliRoth And if you're in Los Angeles I'll be at Mann's Chinese 6 tonight for the screenings! Hope to see you there!

When you make a scene where someone rips a fingernail off, do you know that it makes me hate your guts?

I do. It's the Evil Dead theory. The most painful death in the movie isn't the evisceration, it's the pencil in the ankle. The fingernail is my pencil in the ankle. Nobody knows what a decapitation feels like, but we've all had a papercut.

what's brad pitt like? have you ever exchanged dick pics with each other?

No dic pics yet but I hold out hope every day. He was the coolest. Rumor has it he still is. He was one of the guys, for sure. You'd never know he's this giant star, he was there to have fun and was nice to everyone. I was waiting for him to snap but he only got funnier.

Better director: Tarantino or Roth?

That's just mean

In inglorious, what were you thinking just before smashing the nazi skull in to give you that look of absolute and utter rage. Few times have I seen such intensity in the eye of an actor before. Love all of your work by the way, it's quite goreous.

Thank you. I went dark.

What is the most difficult part of about your profession?

My monkey butler never cleans his rollerskates and they leave tracks all over my yacht.

HI ELI

HI PAL

As someone who has not seen a single movie of yours, how would you describe them to make someone like me want to watch them?

They're a great way to get laid. Grab your date and you won't want to sleep alone.

Does the Livejournal community Ohnotheydidnt (ONTD) and blueberries mean anything to you? Is it true that you sent some ONTD members naked pictures?

Of course. That was a fun night. I fucked the internet. It started as a joke. Then girls started sending me pics. So I went to myspace and made them set up accounts proving they were 18 before I'd even look. But I never asked for them, they just started it. It was weird and fun. Look, I made money in college doing on line cyber sex. This was 1991 when doctors and scientists were on line. I knew how to type dirty things fast. I was surprised and how shocked and upset people were. It's just words on a screen between adults.

Is there anyone in the industry you absolutely under any circumstances would not cast even if they were perfect for the role?

YES. One troublesome actor can sink the ship and ruin it for everyone. It's too much money and too much time to deal with someone like that. Can't name who though

Are you and Zachary Quinto somehow related? You two look like brothers. BEAR JEW RULES!

No. We look more alike in pics than IRL.

Holy shit, you're answering a lot of questions. Great AMA!

Thanks. I was an on line sex operator in college and can type fast as a motherfucker. I paid to do this except with sex stories

Who is on top if your "celebrity Id really like to bang" list? And for bonus points, have you gotten close to that victory?

Does masturbation count?

What do you think is the worst movie ever made?

Caddyshack 2

I love you Eli

FINALLY. Thank you.

After being on a couple of film sets I was fucking amazed at how much the AD and Director of Photography and other crew members are so critical and even making key creative decisions on the fly, and of course if the script is garbage... I know everyone is important but, being a versatile guy in the industry, what roles do you think are the must underrated by the general film-nerd public?

Gaffer. You need a good gaffer to make the light look beautiful.

What would your eyebrows look like if you stopped grooming them for 2 weeks?

I don't know I wouldn't be able to see

You should definitely come to mass and make Thanksgiving, ive wanted to see that since i saw the fake trailer

Me too

What do you like to do on set when not filming?

Learn classical Piano

You still making that sic-fi flick?

sic-fi sounds like a cool new genre to start

15 more minutes and I am gone from the internet forever! (Not really, but from this AMA)

Eli , I love your work but what is your favorite ice cream ?

Good question. There's this place Milk on Beverly that has this sick salted caramel ice cream sandwich. I am literally salivating thinking about it.

On your twitter it says you're a part time psychopath. What is the other part?

Fully functioning tyrant. That was a diagnosis after my brain was scanned for Discovery. There's clips on youtube. Look up "How Evil Are You?" That was the episode. I have like a 1 in 1000 brain, I'm a part time psychopath.

What's the craziest thing that's happened on set in one of your movies?

Joey Kern got glass in his eye on Cabin Fever. That was horrible. I did a striptease to Wham for all the Nazis in the theater in Inglourious Basterds. Thank God nobody had iphones then

Have a few questions for you. 1) Will we ever get a real sequel to Cabin Fever? 2) Will you and Takashi Miike ever team up and make one of the goriest movies all time?

There's a 3rd one coming out, not involved thought. Love Miike, he's the greatest no plans yet

I'm getting into Hemlock Grove quite a bit, what turned you onto this show? Also is Penelope Mitchell as hot in person? I get that old fashioned feeling with her, you know where i'd do anything to bone her.

Penelope is stunning in person, as well as on camera. And very cool, and a total film nerd. Tweet her, I think it's @pfmitchell or @phmitchell, I don't know, I'm too tired to check. I loved Brian's novel, and producer Eric Newman brought it to me and thought it would make a great show. I agreed.

I grew up in LA and have lived in Boston for several years forming +/- opinions of Massholes vs Californicators. What's your reverse take on LA or CA from a Newtonite's perspective?

Massholes are the best. I want to devote my life to deconstructing and studying them. They impress me at every turn. Californians are the stereotype but generally don't mind or care when you're making fun of them because they're in really good shape and having sex with someone half their age. All the stereotypes are true but they're also really fun. I love when I meet someone who's exactly as I imagined Californians would be. It's like God nailed it perfectly.

The scene in Hostel where Paxton runs into Rick Hoffman's character in the locker room and they discuss whether to kill quickly or slowly was one of the most horrifying scenes in any of your movies for me, despite the complete lack of gore or violence. What inspired you to include that?

Just poured out of me. It was an interesting lesson that you don't need lighting, music, or blood to make it scary. Rick and Jay were incredible.

You said that you and Quentin found some websites that inspired the movie Hostel. Is that true? How did you even find those websites? The dark net?

And I don't expect you to answer, but how big is your dick?

I've never had any complaints let's put it that way. At least not to my face.

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No. There's shit like that out there but I have no interest in that. I like magic tricks, not murder

How would one get into "big-budget" film production and start working with A-listers?

One word "work their ass off" for a "long time"

Chilean here. Dude, seriously thanks for making possible to have a Chilean movie that doesn't have a political context.

• Also thanks for understanding that the industry is changing and taking action by experimenting with a new distribution model. Do you plan on pushing this model forward? Have you gotten or do you plan on getting more support from other producers/directors in the industry?

• You said on different interviews you want to make a "Chilewood." Beside you and Mr. López is there any other directors/produced interested in achieving this goal? Having a better film industry down here would be phenomenal. Just as a consumer I appreciate having fresh and fun movies without political content or boring arty films. Dude, Thanks! Have you seen the Espinoza/Zaror movies (Mirageman, Kiltro)

• Are you guys going to do any event for the release of the movie down here in Santiago. Can I get tickets for that? :P

Thanks man. We had a great time shooting in Chile. Look, the world is changing. Iron Fists was the #2 most pirated movie in the world after it came out. It's the reality. And if that movie was available on iTunes and onDemand I bet a lot of people would have supported the artists and bought a pristine copy so they didn't have to search it out. Maybe they didn't want to see it in theaters, but people wanted to see it. So let's see what happens. We made the movie for $2 million. It stars me and an amazing cast of other actors who aren't stars here yet. So we can't compete with big movies, but we can make a dent and do well. If people want to see it in the theaters they can, if not then they can get it right now on iTunes On Demand and all VOD. We are the test case for this - the other distributors are watching us very, very carefully to see what happens. It's not like box office, we'll know in a few weeks how well it worked. And yes, we want to keep Chilewood going. It's an amazing place, the people are wonderful, and I had the time of my life filming there.

Who's your favorite superhero?

Plastic man

Any new news on The Green Inferno? I cant wait to see it, finally someone is bring back the cannibal genre

In post production. Be patient...

So great that you're doing an AMA! I enjoy your movies, and think you're sexy as fuck.

I recently went to Las Vegas and visited your Goretorium. Any chance you'll be opening more in other cities? Do you pick the cast members (some were much better than others)? Have you taken the tour of it yourself?

Thank you, the fat nerd in me appreciates all sexy comments. I had a blast creating the Goretorium, and if it keeps doing well I'd love to do more in other cities. Right now the focus is making Las Vegas work, learning about that business, how to make it great and keep it scary. And yes, I always tour it, even randomly, so the performers are ready.

Hostel is the only movie in the last 15 years that actually made me cringe. It's also the only movie that just... I dunno, STAYED with me for like two weeks after I saw it.

Bravo, and thanks for the entertainment.

Thank you. I love movies that have a resonating scare, one that stays with you long after you leave the theater. That's always what I strive for. Jumps ware off 10 seconds later. A few are fun but you can't rely on it.

So Eli, my girlfriend wants to know if you'll marry her?

I don't want this to cause problems for us.

No. Unless she's really hot.

You like Terrence Malick films?

Love my blu ray of days of heaven

When directing a film like Hostel, how do you get the reactions you want from the actors? I would imagine it's pretty draining to have to present yourself like someone is drilling a hole in your thigh through numerous takes...

You don't have to push them. Actors are generally very fucked up and have some hidden inner pain they're masking over. It's giving them permission to tap into that and letting them feel comfortable that makes the scene work. Usually I'll say "If you want this to be your last take, make it your last take." And that does it.

Do you have any interest in working outside of your usual genre?

I'd like to teach

Cabin Fever sequel please

You mean another Cabin Fever 2?

If you could make a movie based on any video game, what game would you do?

Atari 2600 Adventure. For sure.

Anything in the works to make Thanksgiving(grind house) a movie?...I heard a lot of buzz the nothing.........all will be carved

All will be carved in time.

Thanks for making Cabin Fever!

Thanks for seeing it!

If you could play any role from a 20+ year old film what would it be? (give or take a year or two)

I like to role play but usually the mailman or dirty butler

Met you a few years ago in New Paltz, at Mohonk. did not sleep with you. Still regret it.

that is all.

Amazing. Where were we? Were you a riding instructor? Did I at least finger you in a gazebo? Just askin

Where do you see yourself as a filmmaker in relation to the horror genre as a whole? (I realize that's kind of a vague question) And secondly, I know you directed the first couple and executive produced Hemlock Grove, but I just wanted to know how much influence/creative control you had over the series in terms of a final product - I love that it was partially shot on U of T campus in Toronto (my school)!

I don't think of myself in terms of the genre as a whole, I just make movies I want to see. I directed the first ep but it was a lot less control than I'm used to. Netflix, the executive producers, everyone had their say but the truth is it was a great team and you know that going in so I was happy to just contribute and be a part of the collaboration. But other things like the transformation and the vampire going down on the cheerleader with her period was where I was most influential and pushed really hard. Luckily everyone else is as demented as me and was all about it. Wasn't really a fight, just a great collaboration.

You have a hilarious cameo in 'Rock of Ages'! How did that come about? Were you a fan of the original Broadway musical?

Adam Shankman called me and said "Michael Bay just bailed on me, can you come to Florida?"

Name 3 people who you think are the best in the industry. Meaning someone who you will go to see just because they are in it(or have a huge part in making it) and you know it will be good.

The best are obvious, James Cameron, Quentin, Del Toro, Peter Jackson, too many to name. Christoph Waltz.

Eli, I love your shots and your love for gore. Ever think about making the bloodiest movie this world has ever seen!!?

Hard to top Dead Alive.

Best alcohol story?

The best ones you can't remember. My dog got high at Coachella. That was terrifying. She, uh, ate something. Trip to the hospital and everything. She's fine though.

Do you still have the bat from I.B.?

It got all smashed up but yes I do have one. There were several.

I remember reading a long time ago about some project you were working on called Trailer Trash, is that dead or something we may see down the line?

Dead. But still may make some fake trailers

Why am I not in any of your movies? Let's do this!

May wanna rethink that handle first. Who the hell would want you on set?

hey there, thanks for doing one of these!

1. What was it like working with Ruggero Deodato during Hostel 2? Did he come to you, or did you go to him?

2. Something I've wondered--- in basterds, was "fuck a duck" an actual line in the script, or did you improvise that?

I look forward to reading your replies!

EDIT: Oh, and also, if you have the chance to talk QT into doing one of these too, that would be pretty cool.

Deodato - the best. Met him in 2005 on Hostel 1 press tour and wrote the cameo for him.

FUCK A DUCK. In the script. But also my favorite line from "Screwballs"

Eli, welcome to reddit! We're glad to have you!

As a young filmmaker myself, I would love to ask you: What is your passion for directing? What drives you to make cinemagic; a story and a vision come to life?

Can't explain why, I just loved it. Now there are amazing cameras out there that look like 35mm. We shot Aftershock on a Canon 5D Mark II. That's a $2,500 camera body.

Do you ever see yourself doing anything outside of the "Horror" genre?

"Yes"

What's your favorite video game of all time?

Favorite drink?

Atari Adventure. Root Beer Float

As a screenwriter, I have to say I'm a big fan of your work. I mean, I hate your fucking movies because they make me want to vomit...but they're still done well. I have to ask...do you get a boner from the gory stuff? (Penises intrigue me).

And yet you still watch them...? Boners come from the strangest places that's why they're the best thing ever.

If all the movies you've ever made disappeared from history except one, what movie would that be and why'd you select that one?

Zombie 2. Zombie v Shark. That is all.

Time will answer that question for me.

Big fan of your work Mr Roth!

Whats one movie you would love to help create? (Impossible or Possible) Whats one genre you havent explored yet that you would like to work with one day?

I want to make a comedy. For sure. Ridiculous comedy.

Hi Eli! Huge fan and also a graduate of Newton South. Any plans on still making the film about the scavenger hunt?

Not as of right now. I'd like to one day though. Back burner

Haha I really enjoyed the "bear jew" how was it filming as that character versus your role as like let's say Cabin Fever as the moderately creepy hobo looking character lol? I always wondered how you woukd compare such... night and day different roles. And what was your favorite role in any movie?

Cabin Fever was me goofing around doing an impression of someone from high school and Donowitz was truly creating a role. I knew his entire life story. Both were fun

The Hostel maze at Halloween Horror Nights was really impressive. How much involvement did you have in that? Do you have any plans to help make any future mazes?

A lot. That was my test case for the Goretorium. Open year round in Vegas. Check it out. You can even get married there.

First of all, I'm an absolutely huge fan. Hostel: Part II is in my top 10 movies of all time.

Can you give us an update on The Green Inferno? I love Cannibal Holocaust, and I'm really anticipating this one. Any idea of a release date, etc?

No release date, I've basically sold it around the world but held back US distribution. Everyone will see it at once when it's done, not sure what venue yet. Still editing. Looking SICK. Hostels were a warm up for this one. I'm really proud of it.

I want to ask if you've ever entertained the thought of an intern(s)? You know someone you teach how to make movies and then turn that person out to the world to be your protege. So that she can turn the world on its head with her amazing Civil War documentaries. And a Led Zeppelin documentary that's on the back burner for about 3 years til I--urm--she finished school. I--urm she graduates soon.

I forgot what your question was. Interns - yes, no I don't use them because nobody really wants to do any work when it comes down to it. People want everything instantly. They get music instantly, movies instantly, they want careers instantly. I'm an independent machine, I do it myself and have one assistant and that's it.

Aliens are going to destroy the entire planet unless you re-make a movie that's better than the original. Which movie do you choose to direct?

Caddyshack 2

I don't usually care much for remakes, but I'd love to see what you'd do with Deliverance. Any interest?

I went canoeing with Bill McKinney once, the rapist. That was fun. But also enough for me.

Have you ever met your long-lost brother Zach Quinto?

Yes - we look alike in pictures but not so much in person. I always tell him he's the best looking guy in Hollywood. He's very cool

What's your take on the SAW movies? Is there something about them you kind of envy and wish you made it yourself?

also, people would love to see a collaboration between you and the director of Saw, James Wan

Lots of fun. No envy - I showed James and Leigh around Hollywood when they first came here and went to their Screamfest screening to support. They're great guys, smart and innovative, and I'm thrilled for them and all their success. There are so many dickheads in the business it's really great when the good guys - who happen to be your friends - succeed. They're amazing, and I love their movies and can't wait to see what they make next.

Cool to see Selena Gomez is such a huge fan of yours - any future collaborations post-Aftershock?

I'd love to. Aftershock was really just us goofing around - she stopped by set to say hi and we just shot a little scene we made up. It was just for fun. But yes we are mutual admirers and I'd love to collaborate with her in the project. She's very, very cool and works harder than anyone I know.

When I was in college I worked at a camp in Maine and supposedly the characters in Cabin Fever were named after some of the owners of the camp. You know if there is any truth to that?

No. They weren't. People from my high school.

Hi Eli.

Couldn't help but notice you are a rather hirsute fellow. Besides going through many razors, do you have any other hair hygiene habits that would interest and enthrall us?

I gave up on the razor and waxing. I figured I'd own it, fuck it. This is what men look like. If you don't like it then meet someone at a waxing salon. I'm not judging, it's just not for me

Why doesn't my sister get hours at The Goretorium anymore? She's still on roster, but she doesn't get called giving her the schedule anymore.

I don't know, I don't run it. I built it but I'm not in charge of day to day operations. Maybe she's not that....scary?

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I can't answer questions more than one sentence

Hey Eli, thanks for making horror movies scary again! I love your work.

• What do you think of Uwe Boll
• What are your favorite movies?

Never met Boll but I hear he's a great guy. People love him so much that's why he gets terrific casts for his films. His boxing matches are amazing

How did you and Tarantino meet/start working together?

Also, I watch Naruto

He saw Cabin Fever at the LA Film Festival and asked me hang

What was the funniest/awesomest thing that happened while shooting Texas Chili Parlor scenes in DeathProof?

Kurt Russell threw his nachos at me after I went off on him. It's somewhere on the inter web

How did you get started? Most young filmmakers I know don't have a couple million and a well-known TV star to put toward their first film. Did you save the life of a warlock?

It sounds like you want an easy short cut and are already making excuses. I didn't know anyone either but I got myself to NYC slept on couches found productions worked for free, got coffee and worked my way up the ladder doing any job I could to stay on a movie set and make connections. I knew no one, had no money to make a movie and wrote a film, put together an LLC and spent 6 years taking investor meetings. If you're not willing to work that hard find another line of work

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You gotta look at Nicolas Lopez's movies. They're so fun. On Netflix - Promedio Rojo, Que Pena tu Vida (fuck my life), Que Pena tu Boda (fuck my wedding) and Que Pena tu Familia (fuck my family, which I have a cameo in.) He's amazing - shoots them in like 3 weeks, so smart, well written. Almost the entire cast of Aftershock in them. He made 6 feature films by age 30.

How do your religious beliefs influence your work? Completely ignore this question if you're not comfortable talking about it. I just see that your wikipedia page mentions you were raised Jewish but makes no other mention after that.

I can't help but make Jewish jokes all the time. Ariel Levy is a Chilean Jew so we wrote that into Aftershock

Why do so many movies objectify women?

You could say the same thing about men. But look at our culture - every magazine cover - every tabloid, it's all about who's skinny, who's fat. The top 100 hot list is national news. It's not the movies, it's the culture, people are obsessed with it. Someone goes 5 pounds overweight people go crazy - it's a sickness

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Direct. No question. But only stuff I produce and write. Writing is pure torture but once it's done you're so happy you pushed yourself to do it.