Adam "Lakers" Carolla Here - Ask Me Anything Part Deux

Did you ever find out if Sonny took the money?

No, I let sleeping thieves lie.

I don't think it was Sonny, it would've presented itself by now. New rims on the big wheel, introduction to his new lady friend who is 19 years his senior, the proclamation next time we're at Lego Land we're standing in the corn dog line that this one is on him.

I'm going to assume it's Drew's insane friend with the rich history of larceny.

How much would you charge to come out to my house and be a stand-in for me when my girlfriend starts arguing with me about something?

Ten grand, but if you're right I'll do it for free.

DeVigorous Lover, Librarian Booker and DeGluten Free were all snubbed in the 1st round of the draft yesterday. I mean, what's up with that?

I blame it on their agent DeDradel Torah.

Back in the loveline days you used to make a point about how people shouldn't be afraid to let everyone know how much they were paid to do a gig. You even read your tax returns on air a few times, showing you were literally a millionaire.

Now that you have your own business partially supported by listeners are you a little more hesitant to share that type of information?

Yes. I do rely on listeners being generous and it does affect that equation. For instance, we do Ace on the House, and we do Carcast, one podcast focuses on free home improvement and getting Ray a house, the other talks about travelling around the country doing vintage races and how expensive 117 octane fuel and racing slicks are. On the House gets 10x more donations than the show that talks about how expensive it is to fill my dually pickup and drag my race car to Sonoma, and ironically Carcast costs quite a bit more to produce than On the House.

What's the latest news in the Donny situation?

No news, middle of a lawsuit so can't get into much detail, but as of now just waiting around.

[deleted]

Florida.

How is Superfan Giovanni seemingly competent, but yet wildly unemployable?

That's part of his appeal.

Does Ray only make $75 per episode of Ace on the Roof? Ray is a great asset to the show BTW

If I had an ounce of dignity, he would only make $75 a show (now is the time to get your kids around the computer to listen up) ... the reason Ray is the place he is, or more accurately, isn't, is because of the same reason all of my friends from the valley are, shortsighted. Ray didn't want to do two episodes for free. I told him the way you make money is we get popular, we get advertisers, we get you fine people to donate, and then we whack up the profits. He then called my money manager and said he wanted $75 a show, I said good, because when we start making money, I'll keep all of it, minus the $75 a show. He's now dropped that and wants to whack it up, which we do, but please understand the message and more importantly, the traits of the loser.

When's Larry Miller coming back on the show?

I just asked Jeff Fox that yesterday, sadly he's dealing with his publicist, which is never a good thing, but it should be very soon.

Who will be typing the answers for you?

Mike Cioffi

• Why don't you talk about ramblin' any more?
• How do you cope with your hyper-observation and always-active mind? How do you shut it down to sleep/relax?
• Allison has come a long way --- she really adds a lot to the podcast now. Were you nervous in the beginning about her?

As far as rambling or anything else I discussed in the past, I can't keep track of all the stuff I've said over the last 15+ years on the radio and tend to want to discover the next version of rambling, that's what's attractive about improv to me.

During the daylight hours I let my hyperactive mind run free, making sure there is always a pen and a buckslip nearby to try to turn whatever observation/annoyance that comes up into comedy for that evening's podcast. After that, it's time to drown myself in Mangria and Varsity Blues, then it's eye shades and earplugs and repeat.

I'm never nervous about smart people, dumb people scare the hell out of me.

I love you and Bill Simmons together. Everything you two do is gold. Anyways, how excited are you for Fast and Furious 6?

Super excited, hopefully Bill and I will be sitting arm in arm at a sneak preview soon.

I listen to your podcast daily (Lizz Winstead was horrible) and have your book. I always enjoy that you mention the valley because no one else acknowledges it exists.

I really liked the Adam Carolla Project so my question is: What's going on with the pilot?

PS What happened to that nice 350z you drove on the AC Project??

Sold it, but whenever I sell a car it's always to buy another, so don't feel bad. Shooting an home improvement pilot for Spike in a few weeks, it seems like a good premise but I said that about my last six pilots.

Adam, absolutely love your stuff. How did you and Alison get together? Did you have any sort of auditions?

By the way, the joke in "The Hammer" about immigrants loving their home countries "except for the part where you risked DYING not to live there" is one of the best movie lines of all time!

Thank you. Yes, we did have auditions, and it turns out Alison was the best.

As far as that line goes, it was cited in one review as an example of my racism.

Hi Adam, I appreciate your unapologetic, non PC attitude on many issues. Is there anything you ever wanted to say but held your tongue? If you regret doing so, want to share it with us? -love from Israel

Nothing comes to mind. Obviously even I have my limits, and try to walk a fine line between expressing myself and having a guy show up to the door with a vest filled with rusty nails, and by that of course I mean the Buddhists.

How long until I can score some of that sweet sweet Mangria on the East Coast? I can manage to get corn whiskey in a mason jar but no Mangria... what gives?

Lots of archaic laws surrounding booze and the shipment of it. We're working hard on getting distribution everywhere we can, it's a process, but it's moving quickly, so hold tight, it's coming soon.

Have you ever thought about trying to do what Louis C.K. did with his show (by producing/writing/directing it all himself) and create a show yourself, to avoid all of the TV mess that comes with doing a TV show?

Yes, we are already sort of doing a version of that now, just not with a TV show, the podcast is a radio version of that. My next two projects the Newman doc and the independent film will be done that way. Possibly even publishing.

AceMan, if SiriusXM came to you after Stern retires and offered you Adam 100 and Carolla 101 would you listen/consider it?

Yes, as long as they backed up a Brinks truck to my front door and on the way up the driveway it collided with another Brinks truck, this one filled with cocaine and runaways. Seriously, I've dealt with those people in the past and so far they've proven to be nothing more than a disingenous pain in the ass who want to gauge my interest on working for free. So I assume the answer would be "fuck off".

Yes, as long as they backed up a Brinks truck to my front door and on the way up the driveway it collided with another Brinks truck, this one filled with cocaine and runaways. Seriously, I've dealt with those people in the past and so far they've proven to be nothing more than a disingenous pain in the ass who want to gauge my interest on working for free. So I assume the answer would be "fuck off".

You were fantastic as Wynnchel the donut in Wreck-It Ralph. You've also done some other fantastic VO work such as Crank Yankers and Family Guy. Do you enjoy or prefer that style of acting over live action? You most definitely have the voice for it.

Thanks and yes. No makeup, plenty of room to improvise, and the fatter you get the better you sound.

So what was your favorite all time Man Show episode? And will you be bringing it back with Jimmy Kimmel? [EDIT] Dear God please say yes.

Any episode where we would go out and do something together such as try out for the LA Dodgers was always fun for me. Also, the chick show was fun even though the audience hated it.

No, in the reunion department, I've talked to Jimmy 7000 times since we've gone off the air and that topic has never come up, which is a good thing, it means people are being creative. Nothing worse than Chong waiting around for Cheech to wrap Nash Bridges so he can make a nickel.

Have you turned down any movies/shows that became hits?

Top Gear USA, but technically I couldn't do it because I was working on another pilot, I blew an audition for some little moving called Saving Private Ryan which turned out to be one of my favorite movies of the decade, and was originally supposed to play the lead in Perfect Strangers, not cousin Balky the other guy.

I listen to all your podcasts, but especially like AOTH. I wanted to ask you (and you may need to ask Ray) your thoughts on the newer shower systems. Schulter, Wedi and now Customs all have products on the market, as I'm sure a few others, as well. Do they get used much in CA, or is everything just mudset and hot mopped still? The inspectors here in Oregon always seem a little hesitant, so I can only imagine how strict they are down there.

Thanks, and mahalo

I'd like to engage in scintillating discussion about shower pans, but I think we should wait until the next episode of Ace on the House so as not to bore the small, but yet significant numbers of people who are reading this who aren't hot moppers.

I met you in Denver/love you! Do you really dislike Producer Anderson (Loveline) or are you joking about it?

I don't dislike him as a human being, but I would never work with him in any capacity on any project ever.

What is going on with the copyright law suit? Is there a way to contribute to a defense fund?

We haven't set one up yet, we will shortly and you'll be the first to know.

First and foremost, thank you so much for doing this AMA. I'm graduating soon with a degree in broadcasting and needless to say, you're a inspiration.

• What projects are you currently working on?
• What was your favorite skit from Crank Yankers?
• What was the biggest transition from going from radio to podcasting?
• That being said, you are one of the reasons I've started podcasting. Would you be interested in being a guest on my podcast to nerd out about entertainment?

Thank you again for this AMA!

Currently working on a documentary about Paul Newman's racing life and my next independent film, plus my signature cocktail Mangria and all that comes with trying to run a booze business.

Favorite Crank Yankers bit was when Jimmy called an adult toy store his mom picked up on the other line, he told them he was ordering a pizza, and she kept chiming in asking what kind of soups and salads they had and the guy played along.

No big deal as far as the transition goes, just talking into a mic. Radio comes with a built in audience, podcast you have to build your own.

Reach out again about doing the podcast, would like to.

Adam,

Thanks for doing this AMA. Big fan of the podcast.

If everything was right in the world and there was nothing to complain about, do you think you would complain about not having anything to complain about?

Thanks again!

Yes, I'm like a complaining shark. I have to keep complaining forward.

Ace, framing hammers: straight handle or axe handle?

Axe handle.

Ace man!

You’ve made this anonymous internet dweller’s list of man crushes:

1) Dr. Greg Graffin 2) Adam Carolla 3) Dr. Richard Dawkins 4) Dr. Ron Paul

Your name next to a group of doctors serves as a good segue into my question: despite the fact that you’re literally a millionaire, do you ever regret leaving formal education after high school?

Also, Bad Religion featured on loveline fairly often, so why not on your podcast?

Thanks for the AMA, Ace!

I didn't quit my formal education, I was asked to leave. I've often said I know everything because I know nothing, and people think I'm being facetious, but I'm not, I have no studies or other people's words rattling around in my head, I merely observe life and draw my own conclusions. I think it's a pure way to extract the truth from life, and I can build houses, which I never would've learned had I gone to college.

Just a Bad Religion coincidence, I love all those guys and would be happy to have them on any time. I don't book the show, so when someone asks about "What about that guy" the answer is always "Sure, tell Mike August."

How did the whole "Get it on.." thing start?

I have no idea how anything starts, and that's what makes this format so fun.

Hey Carolla big fan here, who is your all time favourite podcast guest? Thanks so much for everything you do, float on pirate ship!

It's hard to beat David Alan Grier. Dana Gould is always consistently funny, but I must say the other night Jo Koy had me holding my side doing his ninja meter man.

What ever happened to that guy Ricky Rackman you replaced on loveline?

I have no idea.

Written request for a What Can't Adam Complain About: Bob's Burgers

That's an easy one. I did a pilot for Fox that was animated and never saw the light of day. Bob's Burgers going on season four?

You don't seem to have any adverse neurological effects from your years as a boxer and football player. What are your thoughts on letting your son play either of those sports with what has been coming out nowadays concerning head trauma?

I'm not a fan of head trauma and it scares me to think that my son could possibly have to suffer with a long last effects of it, but it horrifies me to imagine him going through life as a whiny self entitled pussy. I'd rather him be a little light in the brain cell department, but heavy with the intestinal fortitude department. I deal with people all day long and the ones that played team sports are far less entitled, more rational and especially narcisitic.