IAMA 18 year old male who lost his penis to penile cancer. AMA (nsfw)

I can almost guarantee you that the last thing I thought I would be doing this evening is looking at an 18 year old dude's shaft-less nut sack.

Isn't that what you are doing...?

I want you to know that if I suddenly die (I'm 25 now), I will donate my penis to you

I, uh... lol... thank you?

I'd donate my penis to you but you'd still only be half way there.

EDIT: Thanks for the Gold kind stranger!

hahaha, now that's funny =)

Put...put your penis in it.

Edit: my highest rated comment is about penis...YES!!

Don't downvote this man. I had a good chuckle. Have a sense of humor :)

Man i'm sorry that you had to go through that. Thanks for sharing your experience as well. Is there no prosthetic or plastic surgery that can be done in order for you to have something closer to a 'normal' penis?

There is... but it's expensive (over $20,000) and doesn't look realistic... at all. Maybe one day I can hope to have stem cell therapy.

Yeah I hope so. How are you when you have social interactions with the opposite sex?

Good, happy and gay though... so that part isn't a big deal ;)

Have you tried a strap on ? A little creativity goes a long way.

No...

If it's any consolation, you've got a nice pair.

http://i.imgur.com/bUoePZA.jpg

You say you can ejaculate. How exactly? What is there to stimulate and how do you do it?

Usually happens at night after a really good dream... but also just rubbing the inside of where the shaft should be...

This answers one question...but raises a bunch of other ones that I really don't want to ask.

Fire away.

Poor choice of words.

Sorry... I'm cocked a loaded. Shoot loads of questions all over me.

Could you please elaborate on"..inside of where the shaft should be.."?

There is enough to stick a finger in above my balls. It's where men should have their penis.. but it's like a hole that travels in towards the pubic bone.

So could you potentially use a toothbrush like the ladies, or is it still too small? Do you need lube? Do you squirt, or does it just kind of leak out? Sorry, just trying to get a good mental image

lol.. no questions are too off limits.

I have tried a toothbrush that vibrated. yes it works.

I don't normally need lube as it's usually moist enough.

I dribble mostly... but once I went like 2 weeks without and it was like an eruption.

So, does that era ever become extremely aroused naturally like an erection would without stimulation?

I do get horny and I precum... my balls swell and I "know". There are other sensitive erogenous zones other than your penis. I think the mind reroutes these... so my spots are just in different places (anus, nipples, balls).

It takes a fair bit of concentration... but I can usually achieve orgasm.

I am really blown away by this. I feel horrible for you. But you seem to have a good sense of humor about it if your name is allballsthrowaway. Good luck to you, sir.

Edit: Grammar

hah... yeah thanks. I grew up with it. I probably know more "your dick is so small" jokes than you :)

What's the best joke you can think of?

"Your dick is so small, you have to measure it in negative inches."

That's pretty lame though... I'll have to come back to it. Too many options.

Do you remember having a penis? And have you ever experienced a "phantom limb" like some other amputees have before? Or shall we call it, a phantom cock.

I remember having a penis... I don't ever remember having an erection. I do not know what this would feel like. It haunts me...

interesting, because erections as a kid were just really annoying for me. You probably just never grew up to associate them with sexual pleasure.

Yeah, I guess I've never had a problem coming to the front of class with a rogue erection out of nowhere.

You said you "know" when you would have an erection? That's probably about it. I actually think you're not missing any feelings in terms of getting boners. (In terms of stimulation is another story.)

Really there aren't any special feelings about getting a boner. It just kinda swells up and hardens. Do you get the same kind of urge to do something with it, though? Like, it feels good to press your crotch against something when you get a ghost boner?

Yes... pressing against stuff... just the act of air humping a pillow works to release pressure.

How do women react when they find out after trying to get close to you?

I don't ever let them get close (probably because I'm gay, still in the closet though)

If you decide to come out, do you think this will have a major impact on your ability as a lover and partner? Does this prevent you from approaching people you are interested in?

Yes and yes.

Just sayin', there are probably tons of dudes that really wouldn't mind, as long as you're good with your mouth.

Yeah... but a lasting relationship, I feel, would be difficult.

at your current age, this is may be true. sucks to say but its the truth. as you get older you will more than likely find a) you are more willing and able to get what you want b) more comfortable with yourself and your faults and c) potential partners will be less interested in your sexual capacities and more interested in you as a person.

just stick it out. in fact, if you're gay than i am willing to bet there are a number of kinky gay dudes who would totally be into it. gay dudes are pretty kinky. you should call the Savage Love Cast. i bet he would be up to advise you.

I've never heard of the Savage Love Cast. I'll check it out. Thank you.

If anyone you know reads this, then theres a good chance that you may not be in the closet for long

throwaway account

They wont know the account, but your situation isn't really a common one.

No one but my parents and some medical staff know about it.

Do your parents know you're gay?

No.

Do you attribute your homosexuality to your lack of genitalia?

I've thought of that. I've been studying penises for a long time. My parents wouldn't think twice when I would ask for a book on male reproductive systems and they had no qualms about me getting on the internet in the privacy of my own room (I guess their thoughts where on whats the worse that could happen).

...possibly?

I've been studying penises for a long time.

Masters in Cockology?

Urologist in training :D

My hope is to one day give hope to those who've suffered fates like mine.

Did you already have a picture prepared for this AMA? You must have anticipated the request.

EDIT: Fucking eh, OP seriously delivered on this one. Kudos to you on having a decent outlook on your situation. You seem like a good guy, and regardless of any physical condition you've got a solid attitude. I'd bet you go far in life.

I plan on being a urologist! (no shit)

But you're awesome at eating pussy right?

Or taking dick?

What I'm saying is that I hope that doesn't limit you. My dick mostly gets me into trouble anyway.

2nd option... if I had a choice... but still haven't.

Is there any way you can have kids?

Yes. My reproductive system is intact. Just not the delivery mechanism.

I am now going to refer to my dick as a delivery mechanism.

Mail's here!

There needs to be a Gif for this...

Has anyone ever accidentally figured out your condition?

Not really. When I was in peewee football I dressed at home and came to the game fully dressed. In junior high and high school I never took off my underwear and got in the shower. My balls still made it look like I was still packing so no one ever asked.

So glad you were not in my middle school. They forced us to take naked showers after Gym. And it was a typical shower room with no privacy. The coach would check and make sure our hair was damp and periodically checked the showers to make sure we went in. (Looking back I wonder if the coach was not a bit of a pedo)

def pedo

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I sit down. It usually makes a mess so I have to lean forward. I try to go when I'm not in public.... but shit happens.

[deleted]

Yes. It's enough to stick a chapstick container in about the full length then it tapers off to a small hole. My parents did not opt for a urethral reroute under the balls due to risk of infection.

It's enough to stick a chapstick container in about the full length then it tapers off to a small hole.

The specificity with which you gauge its diameter leads me to believe that you've put a chapstick container in there.

lmao... busted...

The hole... is this where you ejaculate and pee from? So sorry about the cancer/loss of penis. If you're comfortable enough with it, and get into a serious relationship, I'd suggest a strap on.

Yes and yes. Like the penis is a tube right... it's got a tube inside of it. This is where the tube originates from.... didn't think I'd get this question honestly. It's pretty basic anatomy.

Have you ever had any kind of romantic relationship? If so, did you tell them about your situation and how did they react?

I have had a lot of crushes.... but I haven't made a "move".... still working it out mentally.

What have you done with your extra free time that most spend trying to get their dick wet?

Masturbated

How do you ejaculate?

Great effort or a good dream.

If you're interested in making it easier, have you tried anal/prostate stimulation?

I have. It works.

Fuck. You leave reddit for one night and some guy does an AMA who doesn't have a dick who can actually make jokes about it. That takes balls.

Edit:I added a word. Also came home drunk and do not remember leaving this comment.

I don't dick around.

Do you actually miss having a penis or want to have one? Say if you could hypothetically have an average penis but had to give up your legs, would you go for it?

I'd give up my fucking legs and my left arm.........

What is your next step? Are there options for penile implants? If so, are you interested in pursuing them?

There is a skin graft available... but it's costly and not realistic. Serves no real function except maybe pissing at a urinal.

Damnit, I'm really sorry that this happened to you. That is horrible. Sometimes the universe just sucks :(

How have your feelings about your condition changed over the years?

Edited for grammar.

From depressed to living with it. Some people have it way worse than me.

I'm assuming you still get turned on by things just as often as everyone else your age?

Yep. Very much so.

This is kind of funny to me, as I too am bi and kinda have the exact opposite of your problem. I suffer from an-ejaculation (nothing comes out during orgasm), and that has hindered me from pursuing any relationships just the same.

In some universal way, you complete me.

Edit: Well at least a few girls on the internet don't find my condition absolutely repulsive, so changed "gay" to "bi"

First Ive ever heard of that... have you ever ejaculated fluid? You should be producing seminal fluid from your prostate....

Damn shaving would be a lot easier without a dick in the way. Also after seeing the pic, you should do this, bitches love it(I'd imagine gay men also).

How has all this affected your relationship with your parents?

Why couldn't doctors figure out you had cancer? Possible malpractice suit; get paid and buy all the stems cells in the world.

How far in does the hole go into your body?

You're a strong person and don't need our pitty so I won't say any shit like that but keep your head up and strong!

Edited for clarity.

I purposely don't shave. I did once but it looked like I was a preteen. The hair kinda obscures the fact.. :-/

It's been good. They are positive. Very healthy family relationship.

I guess the parents aren't the suing type. Haven't asked them. Maybe the statue of limitations ran out as well. They could have tried to protect me too... I imagine that would have been on the news...

Like a thumbs length.

Thanks!

• When going out in public do you put a sock in your pants or is the lack of something not noticeable?
• Have you been to a public pool (in a bathing suit)?
• Has this made you look for a specific dressing style?
• When ejaculating or peeing, do you have to specially clean yourself or nothing out of the ordinary?

No, my balls are still there so maybe people think I just have a small penis. I havent had to ever "stuff".

I have, but not speedos. Just swimming shorts.

Sorta. I wear briefs... lest my nuts flop out of boxers. Other than that, tshirt and jeans.

I do have to have a sanitary napkin or 2 with me in my wallet just in case.

Girlfriend walks in: "what are you doing?" Me: "looking at a guy with no penis." Girlfriend: "whatever" Me: "I swear to god! He posted pictures"

lmao... that's hilarous. don't give her any ideas though....

Love the relevant username. Can you get a transplant? Implants? Have a problem being perpetually bottom?

Transplant = expensive and useless

Implants = same thing

Bottom = still a virgin

With sports and PE how did you manage to avoid taking a shower and being found out? Has it ever gotten weird avoiding scenarios like that?

I left my underwear on when I changed. My biggest fear was that someone would yank my briefs down. I tried to change sitting down. This was, as you could imagine, very frighting for me... and yeah at high school I was teased and called smelly because I didn't take a shower after gym class. I ended up getting a pass the last 2 years and took "equestrian studies" (horse riding) that didn't require a change of clothes.

Do you have any physical way to get yourself off? If not, do you avoid porn?

It takes a little more effort and I tend to use my right hand more so I have to stop sometimes. Porn, no porn... it doesn't matter. Porn helps to make the process go faster though.

I think your story is absolutely incredible and I cannot fathom what you've been through and deal with even on a day-to-day basis. I gotta admit though, the first thing I thought of when I saw your verification picture is this http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Ponda_Baba

No offense or anything of course :D

No, that made me smile =)

I always think of Peter Griffin's chin when I think of them.

You said you are "still going through the motions of a normal-ish person", how is your social life different from other 'normal' people? Also, what did they do with your amputated penis?

Thanks for doing this AMA and sharing your story. All the best to you sir.

normal, but I'm gay... I guess that's what I meant.