Hi, I'm Lucille Aaron-Wayne, MA - Certified IFS therapist (Internal Family Systems therapy). Ask me anything!

Hello Lucille Aaron-Wayne,

I have a few questions.

1. How do you ensure that people do not retraumatize themselves while doing solo therapy? Or are you simply teaching people how to use IFS outside of a therapy paradigm and as a cognitive tool?
2. Have you worked with anyone who has Dissociative Identity Disorder? What were the unique challenges associated with teaching IFS to someone with DID? Are you of the philosophy that DID patients should seek reintegration? I know therapists sometimes disagree on the reintegration component.
3. Unrelated to IFS, can you speak to the increased mental health crisis that is typically linked to social media platforms like Instagram and Tiktok?

Hello back, u/TylerJWhit!

1. Re. avoiding retraumatization with solo IFS, see my reply here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8nym68/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Lmk if you have more questions around that.
2. I've not worked with anyone formally diagnosed with DID, although I have in-person witnessed another IFS therapist working with such a client who generously allowed therapists-in-training to observe. Typically with IFS, the person will be aware of what each of their parts have said in an IFS session. But with DID, the person will not necessarily be aware of such. DID involves a high level of polarization between parts, a distinct Self-Like part being in charge, and parts blending fully with the person (such that there is no space for Self at all, as I explain regarding the "Regular You" here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8nv7yc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) There can also be a quality of rigidity of parts in contrast to a more harmonious system, in which there is more dynamism and parts might meld in and out of particular forms (Ex. a part met in one session might not appear in the same recognizable form in another session, and that's okay!) Regarding integration, I don't have a particular stance, but I'll say that IFS says that DID is an extreme form of a natural inner dynamic. Therefore, the path to healing in IFS would be applicable to DID.
3. As with any social psychological phenomenon, the detrimental effects of social media are complex. I don't have a set of general thoughts to share because I don't specialize in this. But if you want to ask a more specific question about social media and mental health, you're welcome to.

First, let me say, thank you for taking the time to do this AMA. It's highly informative and insightful.

I asked questions pertaining to DID as I know someone with DID that I'm close to. Their therapist has discussed IFS to help frame my understanding of DID (I was requested to be a part of one of their sessions so that I understood DID better) and has used IFS (although how much, I am unsure) to help their patient.

I have also read "The Body Keeps Score" to better understand therapy and mental health and it's been transformative to understand how trauma plays out for people.

One more question if you don't mind. After reading the Body Keeps Score, I am struck by the fact that a lot of new therapeutic practices are integrating the entire body in recovery. Has there been any research or practices regarding integrating the body into IFS therapy, like mindfulness, yoga, art, etc?

I'm glad this is helpful. I love The Body Keeps the Score. Author Bessel van der Kolk is originally from the Netherlands, in fact!

Yes, there are a lot of therapists combining IFS with such practices. A Google search for IFS + (any of these terms) will probably be fruitful.

I'm an art therapist myself and teach people how to integrate solo IFS and art therapy in my 9-month Soul-Led IFS mastermind which involves live 1-on-1 guidance from me in learning how to do IFS on yourself - https://seekdeeply.com/mastermind One of the important ritual steps involves the body, so that we can do IFS with wholeness rather than splitting off from our physical selves.

Susan McConnell has a well-received book all about IFS and somatics https://www.amazon.com/Practitioners-Guide-Somatic-IFS-Therapy/dp/1623174880

What exactly is IFS therapy, how does it work?

Are there any books you can recommend for self IFS therapy?

I'm glad you asked this central question, u/GeneralDelay812!

IFS therapy is a method for healing that says it's natural to have many different "parts" (like sub-personalities) inside of us*. It also says that every single adult has Self - a core that is deeply wise, caring, and the ideal inner healer which can help all these different parts.

\These parts are either Exiles (the most vulnerable, wounded parts of us which carry the deepest inner pain) or Protectors (which can be further identified as Managers or Firefighters.*

IFS provides a clear roadmap for how to get into Self, build relationships with our different parts, and ultimately heal them. This frees our own natural qualities to develop and mature as they were meant to, as they would have if they'd not been warped or suppressed because of trauma. Our real essence gets to come to the surface and we get to feel more and more like our true selves.

You can get a 1-minute explanation, a 5-minute explanation and a full-on detailed explanation here: https://seekdeeply.com/what-is-ifs-therapy-introduction-to-the-internal-family-systems-model-by-richard-c-schwartz-blog-post/

IFS is one of the fastest-growing therapies and it's becoming wildly popular across the globe. People seem to recognize IFS is different, it brings something unique that most other psychological approaches don't. A lot of people become extremely excited when they learn about IFS. Why is that?

In my opinion, the x factor of IFS boils down to two things:

1. IFS synthesizes the more traditional scientific psychological approach with a shamanic approach. This gives people access to the ancient human technology of our shamanic heritage in a way that's accepted by popular culture (Ex. it's "normal" to see a therapist, at least in many segments of society; experiences like depression are validated as "real" and given medical diagnoses)
2. IFS can bring results and big insights relatively quickly, and this is naturally very exciting for people

Re. books for self IFS therapy, you can check out my answer here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8mxq55/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3

Hi there! I was curious do unburdened parts ever go back to mistrusting the self or becoming a burdened part?

I am a IFS “graduate”. This was the ONLY thing that helped me move through some BIG PTSD and anger.

I had 2 parts that were specifically burdened, heavily. I gave one of them the name “Nelly”. Once I understood WHY that “part” did such a difficult job…it made sense. From there it was a bit easier until the burden felt easy and her load was lighter. For me it was “ah. Ok! I now know what you do and why you do that, Nelly. So if anything happens in the future that brings up the trauma we know what to do. And if, forbid, trams happens then you k ow your job Nelly”

So I stopped trying to pry that out of my brain and gave it permission to work when needed. After time she just vibes and I k ow I am capable of enduring.

Beautiuful u/ECU_BSN. It sounds like you and Nelly have quite a mutually trusting relationship.

Thank you for sharing your personal experience with everyone.

The IFS model says that unburdenings are permanent. So if an unburdening is done fully, then theoretically that burden is removed forever from the Exile. This is typically what I see.

That said, if an unburdening was not done throughoughly, an Exile might need the person to go back to really finish a part of the process. Most often this means more witnessing.

In addition, an Exile can have more than one burden. So the Exile could still be a burdened part if the other burden(s) haven't been removed.

Another scenario in which an Exile's unburdening can be "undone" is when that process was not facilitated by Self, but by a Self-Like Part. These are parts that resemble Self because they have similar qualities (like compassion, curiosity, care) but are actually parts and have their own agenda. It can be difficult to identify these parts, even IFS therapists might not realize a client is in a Self-Like Part if the therapist is not alert to the possibility. (More info on Self-Like Parts here - https://seekdeeply.com/ifs-therapy-guide-6-most-common-self-like-parts-framework-blog-post/ ... I'm offering a free workshop on how to untangle yourself from these parts: https://seekdeeply.com/workshop-ifs-therapy/)

Theoretically, if an Exile was unburdened via the therapist's Self rather than the client's, then that part might still mistrust the client's Self.

Hope this helps! Follow up with more questions if you like.

Why don't you work with severe trauma?

Hi u/Pastel_Purkinje. Nice question.

Severe trauma requires a clinician who is specially trained in trauma, and I've chosen not to specialize in that.

My focus instead is helping people individuate: helping people become who they really are. I'm working on the border between thriving and functioning. (Rather than the border of functioning and surviving.) This border, too, requires a specialized set of training for someone to become an excellent therapist.

Because I so deeply respect the importance of having qualified support for trauma, I don't offer myself for dealing with actively life-disrupting trauma.

I don’t have any questions. Just so glad to hear that something like this exists out there.

Holy shit.

♥️ thank you for sharing

Is it safe for anyone to do IFS on themselves? Like, are there sometimes it's best to do it with a therapist and not attempt it on your own?

I'm not a licensed therapist, but I have read "No Bad Parts" by Richard C. Schwartz (the founder of IFS). In the book he goes through some exercises that are safe to do alone, but he mentions that the unburdening processes should be guided by a licensed therapist. I highly recommend the audiobook version, as the exercises are paced slowly, in a way that they act like mini therapy sessions, and can be revisited again and again.

Well put, u/squipple.

u/holdemhigh815 I'll add that I don't recommend doing solo IFS if you feel like you might get overwhelmed and flooded. The last thing we want is this to be a negative experience for you.

Assessing whether solo IFS is right for you involves seeing how supported you feel - do you have access to a therapist you can bring the material that arises in a solo session to, if needed? Are you dealing with big unresolved trauma? How stable do you feel in your life in general?

For my mastermind program Soul-Led IFS, in which people get 1-on-1 guidance from me in learning how to do IFS on themselves, I specify it's designed for adults grounded in at least one realm of adult life (family, home, or work). (This is the program: https://seekdeeply.com/mastermind)

I was introduced to IFS by a therapist dabbling in it, it absolutely changed my perspective on my mind and how to view myself. Unfortunately there are no IFS trained therapists in my entire province! I’m a bit wary of working with people who want to do IFS without training.

Is it possible to do deeper work, such as unburdening exiles, with self work?

Hi u/cocotab, great question.

I know how frustrating it can be trying to find an IFS therapist. Hopefully as more and more get trained this situation will change.

To answer your question, it depends.

Occasionally a part will be so ready to unburden that it will happen almost spontaneously, without any guidance needed. All that you'd have to do is set the conditions to consciously connect with the part, and then the spontaneous unburdening would naturally occur.

Some people are able to do unburdenings with solo IFS. That said, to do IFS on yourself in a deeply authentic way, it's important not to try to manage the process to try to make it resemble a traditional unburdening done in classic IFS. But that's okay. If we're really attuned and our system feels safe to unburden, we'll be centering the Exile, and the Exile will tell us what it needs to heal / unburden. In short, unburdenings in solo IFS might not look like traditional unburdenings.

However, for the most part: My answer is usually No. Unburdenings typically require such presence of Self that it's usually necessary to have a therapist facilitate.

If I am working on a big issue and know I need to unburden, I would book a session with an IFS therapist to do so. I've also heard that Dick Schwartz, founder of IFS, says the same for himself.

The good news is if self-led IFS feels like a fit for you, you can do everything else on your own, then seek an IFS therapist just for that final portion.

Sidenote: Are you aware that many IFS therapists work online? The official IFS directory can be a useful place to find them https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners

Thank you for the AMA :)

- What do you do in moments where you would need direct access beacuse there is no Self present but you cant reach anyone who know direct access? Like when you are pretty much fully blended with a part and it doesnt know how to unblend even though it wants to but its like it is the only "person" there in that moment?

- Is there a way to make good decision about difficult life choices like changing jobs etc when many parts have different opinions?

- Do you believe that each of us has something like a calling/soul path or is it "just" choice and learning enough and getting good at something no matter what it is?

Have a great day, Lucille!

Deep questions, u/thinkandlive!

Let's start with the easiest first 😝

- Do you believe that each of us has something like a calling/soul path or is it "just" choice and learning enough and getting good at something no matter what it is?

IFS says that each of our parts has its own unique essence, which is IMO a way of acknowledging the unique spark and soul-quality in each part.

To answer more fully, let's look at the Jungian approach. Jungian analysis says - and I believe this to be true as well - that each of us is here for a reason. We are here to get closer and closer to wholeness, to becoming who we really are. This soul path process is called individuation. And what that individuated person is like will be different for each of us. (Just as an "individuated" dandelion will look totally different from an "individuated" snapdragon flower.) And it will depend on where and when we were born, and the life circumstances that come our way.

This view says that the greater Self calls us to our unique path of individuation, and it is up to us to willingly follow or to get dragged there, kicking and getting scraped up along the way. It's up to us to learn how to hear, accurately interpret, and choose how to respond to the call of Self. (We are not meant to simply roll over and automatically do what Self is proposing - that would be blind following which is just as problematic as totally ignoring Self.) BTW the Jungian understanding of Self is different from the IFS Self.

Part of the process of individuation process involves developing all 8 of our functions: Thinking, Feeling, Intuition and Sensation (each can be introverted or extraverted).

We are born with easy access to some of these functions, and a much more difficult time accessing others. That is something we don't get to choose. The functions that are our natural home will always be our natural home. However, we can develop the other functions and in fact we must in order to individuate. (For example, think of a stereotypical engineer type who desperately needs to learn how to live not just from logic but also from feeling) Jung calls this typology and it is the basis of personality psychology ... but most personality tests have strayed very, very far from Jung's work.

If you're intrigued and want to know what your own natural gifts are, an excellent resources is the Gifts Compass Inventory which is based very closely on Jung's work: https://giftscompass.com/ (click on "take the GCI")

Ok, next questions!

- Is there a way to make good decision about difficult life choices like changing jobs etc when many parts have different opinions?

One of the most difficult things to do in life is "hold the tension" (another Jungian term). That is, to fully feel the impulse to go towards one choice (held by one part or a cluster of parts), and fully feel the opposite impulse to an opposing choice (held by an opposing part or cluster of parts), at the same time. WITHOUT taking action.

What typically happens is when we discipline ourselves to hold the tension between the opposites - instead of blending with a part and just going with its desires - then the "third solution" comes in. Jung calls this the transcendent function. It's a way forward that we could never have figured out, thought through, noodled out. It leads us out of seemingly neverending state of that tension.

So to your question, holding the tension helps us move forward in the right way for us.

IFS can be an excellent tool for helping us hold the tension. We can hold ourselves as the mediator or therapist, and the parts as the "clients."

Important note: For this to be effective, we need to truly listen to each part. NOT with the goal of solving - if we're doing that, we're in a Self-Like Part. YES do this with the goal of understanding.

One useful method is to apply the EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) approach which is used for couples in conflict to our own parts. Basically, you bring both parts to a solo session. You let the parts know you're going to listen to both of them. Start with one part (Part A), asking it what it's afraid will happen if you don't go with its choice, and asking it to focus on what it feels when it imagines this outcome. Then let it know you're going to check with the other part (Part B). Ask Part B if it heard how Part A feels. Then give Part B the chance to answer the same questions, and check with Part A if it heard that.

That's it.

If it feels right and if the parts want it, you can encourage them to see if they can reach a compromise.

However, simply listening to the parts is often enough. The third solution then often emerges on its own, out of the unconscious.

If needed, you can rinse and repeat. And in the short term, if nothing else, letting the parts fully air their perspectives reduces the charge around the conflict.

Now your other question!

- What do you do in moments where you would need direct access beacuse there is no Self present but you cant reach anyone who know direct access? Like when you are pretty much fully blended with a part and it doesnt know how to unblend even though it wants to but its like it is the only "person" there in that moment?

This can be a good time to bring in the expressive arts. Any time we can externalize a part's experience - that is, take it out of our inner world and give it form in the external world - it changes the psychic material. Jungians would say it's an alchemical process and describe this process as as "transmutation." But we don't need fancy terminology to do it.

So if you're blended with a part, you can provide that part with a means of expression. If you're doing the solo IFS process with my audio guide, instead of journaling you can invite your part to express itself onto the page with art materials. (In my audio guide, I take you through ritual steps [OLD Steps] to contain the experience to avoid overwhelm.) This works with any art modality: music, movement or dance, etcetera. Journaling can also be a way: by putting down in black and white what the part feels, you're inherently acknowledging it's a part, and that creates a sliver of space that is not totally blended with the part.

Another option, which I've been wanting to create for a long time, is a choose-your-own-adventure video with a trusted therapist in which that therapist "leads" you (prerecorded, but you choose your responses) through various steps to try to unblend. If you like this option, stay tuned to my email list https://seekdeeply.com/ - when I create this I'll share it there.

But for now, I'd also suggest that it might not be as necessary to have Self present as you think. If we can simply make a window through which Self could enter, that can be enough. You could ask the part if it'd be willing to allow in a pinprick of Self-energy. If it says yes, just know that there is a tiny bit of space, and be open to allowing what happens to unfold.

Does that help?

Thank you so much for these very detailed answers! I really appreciate it, yes it does help and sparks some ideas for some things I am struggling with.

Wonderful to hear 👏

Why is this just a lengthy advertisement for an unproven psychiatric technique, that sounds awfully like scientology?

Can you explain how this seems similar to Scientology?

"These parts are either Exiles (the most vulnerable, wounded parts of us which carry the deepest inner pain) or Protectors (which can be further identified as Managers or Firefighters."

Also

"IFS synthesizes the more traditional scientific psychological approach with a shamanic approach". I would never see a SHAMAN in preference to a psycologist/psychiatrist, ESPECIALLY IF THAT SHAMAN IS MYSELF!!!

Also worried about the fervour with which this is being pushed...

Before long, you too will be OT8 (Operating Thetan Level 8)

"Sidenote: Are you aware that many IFS therapists work online?"

You don't say!!!

I support being on the lookout for scientology, u/themacmeister! 👏 I think any group can become cult-like, and IFS is no exception - especially, as you say, with the fervor it can arouse. I've noticed, for example, that the admiration for the founder, Dick Schwartz, can veer into reverence. I emphasize respect, not reverence - for the founder and for the model itself.

Thanks for looking out for unhealthy dynamics - the world, and IFS, needs that critical eye.

Hey Lucille!

My question is: is it really necessary to check in for 30 days with an exile after unburdoning?

I struggle with it because a lot of the 'talking with parts' doesnt happen in my system. They barely talk, so its hard to even know which part is which. I often cry and it feels healing, but Im often unsure if it was an exile or maybe a stressed out manager that was crying. Sometimes I dont even know why im crying, I just feel grief without a clear reason. So I dont even see how I could check back in with the part in that case.

​

kind regards,

Daniël

Hi Daniël,

No, it's not necessarily necessary, and I discourage any outside expectation like that. Instead, I recommend centering the Exile and (if possible at the end of the unburdening session) asking the Exile itself two things:

1. Does it have any requests of you between now and the next time you visit non-ordinary reality, the dimension where parts reside? (whether in solo IFS or a classic IFS session with a therapist)
   
2. Does it want to pick a way to signal to you when it wants your attention? This can be physiological (like sending you chills), sending you a particular image, an impulse (like "scratch your chin") etcetera. This gives the part a direct line to you in regular life.

We always want to center our own unique system and what our own parts need and desire.

BTW if the part has a request, you don't have to say yes. It's another chance for authentic connection. If the request will be impossible or too hard, you can explain that, and see if the part has alternative ideas or a compromise.

About the crying -

It's not always necessary to know why you're crying. Psyche is beautifully mysterious and we can respect and honor that mystery without needing to know exactly what's going on. It all depends on what feels right to you.

Thanks for this!!

I'm very interested to hear from you: How can I explain IFS to a (Dutch) psyhologist or coach?

For example: what could be key words to help them understand how IFS complements other therapy/diagnosis/coaching trajectories? Or what sort of 'schools of thought' would they recognise?

For context: part of me fears that those professionals may feel uneasy if they don't understand it when I bring up IFS experiences or concepts, which I inevitably do.

Hi u/EfficientlyEpic I often find that family constellations work easily comes to mind for Dutch therapists and coaches when they hear about IFS. Obviously they are very different, but that can be handy starting ground as it's widely known in the culture and in a similar arena of shamanic healing as IFS.

Is there a particular quality of uneasiness you fear? (For example, are you afraid they'll think you're talking about dissociative identity disorder?)

Thank you for offering this :)

I'm a therapist very fortunate to be starting a Level 1 training soon. I'm excited and nervous about the experiential nature of it. I'm trying to go in with a beginners mind because while I have a conceptual understanding of IFS, I've done very little of my own work. Do you have any words of wisdom or encouragement on how to get the most out of Level 1?

Congratulations u/juicyonacadillac on getting into an L1 training!

I have to say it feels odd to give straight-up advice since I always want to help people find their own answer, but since you asked I'll give a direct answer🙃

My biggest tip would be to focus on what you've already identified: your own personal experience with IFS. That's the biggest teacher. Whatever you experience while working with your own parts will become your own "training manual" you can draw on any time you're doing IFS with clients. And it'll keep growing.

If I were giving myself advice about L1, I'd say: Don't worry so much about getting the pieces of information, let it more wash over you and become a part of you. This will help you internalize it on a deep level, which becomes lasting.

Luckily you will have lots of opportunities to experience IFS in your own system in the L1 training, as a big part of the process involves taking the "client" role with your fellow trainees.

BTW - I'm assisting a Level 1 IFS training that begins tomorrow, is that the one you'll be in?👐

I’ve read Jay Earley’s book “Self Therapy” and done your guided self IFS journey. What are the differences between your approach and Jay’s approach?

Great question. Jay Earley's approach is to have people apply "classic IFS" to themselves. (Classic IFS = the way IFS is traditionally done with a therapist, it's what you'd learn in an IFS training.) The problem is, when we're doing parts work on our own, classic IFS alone isn't sufficient. Why? When we try this:

1. We try to contain ourselves and guide the process while we're in it. This immediately splits us away from being truly present and away from authentically accepting what arises. This gets us out of Self and into a managerial part
2. It invites in Self-Like Parts (https://seekdeeply.com/ifs-therapy-guide-6-most-common-self-like-parts-framework-blog-post/) like the IFS Enthusiast or Good Student Part. When we're blended with a Self-Like Part, there isn't space for Self
3. If we think we're in Self and we're not, our other parts are likely to mistrust us and stop the process. They might even start mistrusting IFS itself.

Ultimately, expecting ourselves to be able to do classic IFS on ourselves is a set-up for failure ... which then leads to thinking we're at fault. Or even worse, that something is inherently wrong with us that we can't get into Self.

Speaking from both clinical and personal experience here! (I used to wonder if something was wrong with my Self energy.)

Caveat: Trying "classic IFS" does work for some people for a short amount of time. But it seems that once our parts figure out what we're doing, they refuse to participate. It's very common to have initial success with doing IFS on yourself (via classic IFS) and then find that it just doesn't go anywhere. Talk about confusing and frustrating!

TL;DR: I teach people rituals to provide containment and a skillset that sidesteps this no-therapist-present problem. Jay Earley's book can be useful for learning the principles of IFS as long as you take it lightly and know something extra is needed to make IFS a lifelong self-healing tool

Therapy involves sharing personal information and experiences, and that works for some people. However, there must be a cohort of folks where this type of sharing is detrimental. Why is that and how do you ameliorate this type of subconscious resistance/sharing guilt?

The unique thing about IFS is clients don't have to share the personal details with the therapist. The therapist is there to guide, and the client can keep the personal info to themselves. It's pretty unique to have this be possible in therapy, as you'd imagine.

Does that answer help?

Hi! Whats the best way to get started on IFS therapy solo and what reading is recommended to start with?

Hi u/bohanmyl. There are a few ways to get started, and the right way for you depends on your comfort with being in the unknown.

If you're up for taking a little leap, to trying IFS without "knowing" with certainty how to do it: I'd recommend listening to my free IFS audio guide - http://seekdeeply.com/free There's a beautiful workbook there as well which will help you get set up. All you need to do is carve out some private time for yourself, get a pen and journal, and follow the audio guide.

A lot of people love the experience and find it very meaningful.

However, some people want step-by-step instructions every step of the way. The good news: You can find those in Bonnie Weiss's workbook https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Workbook-Exercise-Book-Process/dp/0984392742 or Jay Earley's overview of self-therapy https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Step-Step-Cutting-Edge-Psychotherapy/dp/0984392777 or more general guidance in Dick Schwartz's No Bad Parts: https://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1683646681 . The not-so-good news: Many people find applying the classic IFS process to themselves not very effective over the long term. (I explain why here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8my2u5/?context=3)

Lasting healing with IFS requires trusting your inner system and being led by Self. And if we're following a manual every step of the way, we're not trusting our systems. We're following a manual and, more often than not, manufacturing something that resembles Self.

But it's perfectly ok to start with detailed guidance as long as you know that in order to make solo IFS a lifelong healing tool, you'll eventually need to spread your wings and leap into trusting yourself.

My own workbook all about solo IFS is coming out autumn 2023! If you want to join my inner circle launch team (and get an early copy), you can join my email list to get an invite: https://seekdeeply.com/

Is there rigorous empirical research showing this is effective therapy and/or can help treat mental disorders?

Hi u/diesiraeSadness, yes - there are a few studies indicating the efficacy of IFS therapy - you can see a list here: https://ifs-institute.com/resources/research When the National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices (NREBP) existed (a US government agency listing evidence-based practices phased out in 2018), it recognized Internal Family Systems as an evidence-based practice.

That said, the scientific evidence base for IFS is in its infancy.

Hope this helps!

Are there videos that show the IFS process where there’s a lot of somatic movements occurring? I experience this and don’t hear about others experiencing this in intense ways.

Hi u/Wrapworks - first of all I want to affirm that your intense somatic experience is completely valid and many people I work with have something like this. That is, if I'm understanding what you're referring to. To be sure: Will you say more about what you mean by "somatic movements"? If you can give some examples that will help.

Sometimes there’s kicking, backing up, pushing to expel energy. Or sometimes gentle hand movements, head movements with pleasant energy moving. I just haven’t seen videos where IFS involves much movement. There might be sounds but the client is just sitting there. I experience it more somatically. I see colors and images with my eyes closed too.

Gotcha, u/Wrapworks. I don't know of video recorded demos where such somatic expression is visible. I'm curious, what do you imagine it would do for you if you did find some demos like that?

Tell me sth about this therapy.l mean how it works?

Hi u/Ok-Feedback5604, good question. Check out my reply here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8n7az8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Who is IFS right for? Who is it definitely not right for?

Hi u/cdank, interesting question.

Generally speaking, IFS is right for a very wide spectrum of people.

I'd say it's not right for someone whose intention with IFS is to force change or healing inside themselves. Because this would mean abusing the powerful tool of IFS.

At least, it's not right for someone who's blended with a Self-Like Part that's determined to force change. But an experienced IFS therapist would be able to see that person is blended with a part and help them unblend so they can approach IFS with an attitude of true healing.

You can learn about how to unblend from Self-Like Parts like these in my free workshop next week: https://seekdeeply.com/workshop-ifs-therapy/

Aside from that, if someone really doesn't resonate with IFS, it might not be the right modality for them. (Sure, we could say that's a part feeling that way, but that doesn't mean the part's wrong.)

It's all about trusting yourself. Asking: What does my inner compass say?

Hello and happy Wednesday! Thank you for doing this, I've read through some of the below responses and you've got some very insightful things to say.

I'm curious, what's your take on the notion that parts that seem to be outside of the exile/protector dichotomy? i.e. parts that serve a role without the kind of manager-or-firefighter urgency about the vitalness of that role, or parts that advise and keep company without seeming to have significant agenda. These aren't the only examples, just the ones off the top of my head -- it's an idea that comes up with semi-regularity in the IFS spaces online I've been in, people asking "I've got this part that doesn't seem like a manager or a firefighter or an exile, what is it?"

Do you think there's space for these kinds of vesicles of identity without it being centered on or explicitly caused by trauma or old coping mechanisms? Or are distinct "parts" always involved in trauma/coping in some respect?

Hi u/kabre, great question.

Short answer: Yes it's absolutely possible a well-regulated part (i.e., not extreme) might not fit neatly into one of the manager / firefighter / exile categories.

In fact, one of the ways I like to refer to Exiles is: Vulnerable Parts. Because once the Exile is unburdened, it's no longer an Exile - it gets to be a conscious part of the inner system. So we can't accurately call it an Exile anymore.

But I digress.

IFS is an elegantly simple model of the psyche. It's a very effective tool.

And it would be hubris and quite naive to assume that we can have a model that explains everything in psyche. We humans are way too complex for a single system - especially one so simple - to encapsulate everything.

So I hold IFS lightly, knowing that it explains many things, but not everything. I recommend what you're already doing - noticing how your inner world is.

From my view, it's critical to honor the mystery inside, that we can't pin down everything, and that we have no right to, in fact. Our unconscious has the right to exist, too.

In addition, the way I synthesize IFS with the Jungian approach means that I recognize the anima/animus and the shadow as parts. Those definitely don't fit into the neat categories of IFS.

From my view, it's critical to honor the mystery inside, that we can't
pin down everything, and that we have no right to, in fact. Our
unconscious has the right to exist, too.

I've got a part that gave a big grin and double thumbs up to this bit of what you said, ha!

I like this take, and it tracks a little with my own (admittedly untrained) theory. IFS is a particular tool for a particular job, and it's very good at that job, and at seeing parts who are in distress. I came to IFS with a working knowledge of a good handful of parts already, via creative work, and while some of those parts have slotted tidily into IFS roles there are others who don't. So this makes sense to me, but it's also good to hear it from someone trained in the modality as well.

A bit of a diversion, but, having not looked into Jungian stuff much but being passingly aware of the concept of anima/animus, I'm very curious about how you would look at the idea of the anima/animus when considering someone who identifies as agender or nonbinary.

Sure! Some Jungians feel that we all have both an animus and anima.

Another way of viewing it is that the animus/anima is essentially the guide between our ego (the regular you, the person you feel you are, your consciousness) and the unconscious.

We all have that, and one view is whether we call it the animus or anima is somewhat irrelevant.

That said, there are some recognizable characteristics that are traditionally recognized to cluster around the animus and others around the anima. So an agender or nonbinary person might feel their inner guide more resembles the animus or the anima.

The anima and animus are really hard to understand. We can't truly pin them down. Kinda like you and I were just discussing with parts in IFS ...

Is there External Family System therapy (EFS) and if so, how it differs from Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS)?

Hehe u/IggyBG this question makes me smile.

Yes, the "EFS" is one's actual family.

The person who founded IFS, Richard C. Schwartz, began as a family therapist. This means he conceptualized of psychology in terms of systems - multiple actors who all affect each other. This equipped him to understand and pioneer a new way of working with the individual: essentially, by applying family therapy to one's own inner world.

And that's IFS 😃

Working with an IFS therapist has completely changed my life in a relatively short period of time by my standards (~2 years). I was unemployed, clinically depressed, with severe anxiety for a long time. Now I'm usually connected to my wise self and have the energy and perspective to pursue goals that are meaningful to me. I'm getting my MSW right now and being exposed to a variety of modalities and theories of practice. I wanted to know your perspective on the limited, appropriate use of psychedelics in parts work.

During my process of awakening to my inner selves I had a shamanic, transformational experience with psilocybin. I hadn't used it in many, many years, but after doing IFS therapy it opened a direct path to my inner selves that led to a period of intense personal writing and growth. I don't think the experience would have been transformative without: 1) IFS therapy that set the stage for understanding, 2) An experienced guide to help me during the experience and afterword, 3) An established and effective psychiatric medication regime.

I'm concerned that psychedelic approaches are currently being used too widely, inappropriately, and without proper support; I worry abuse of these tools may keep people from being able to access them.

What are your opinions or experience with IFS and psychedelics?

Hi u/business_adultman, it's heart-filling to hear about the healing and flourishing you've found with the help of your IFS therapist. Thank you for sharing about with us all.

You ask about my perspective on responsible use of psychedelics with parts work.

To be completely open: I don't work with psychedelics in my practice nor have much interest in them. Why?

1. I find the psyche immensely mystical without bringing in plant medicine. IFS would be an example of that. We can enter non-ordinary reality via parts work, no need for chemicals to be a part of that.
2. While the psychedelics experiences can be immensely meaningful, my main interest is in helping people live their regular lives in a way that is deeply honoring of themselves. And I find that's achievable via long-term regular therapy - for my clients, at least. So I don't see the need for the psychedelics, and I think they can be a distraction. My bent is towards foundational change in daily life, not seeking peak experiences.

BUT I understand psychedelics can be immensely helpful for people. With - as you said - the proper support, context and integration resources. I know multiple people who feel psychedelics have provided critical turning points in their personal development.

Dick Schwartz, founder of IFS, has been very supportive of IFS and psychedelics for several years. If you google "Richard Schwartz psychedelics" there are several interviews with him where you can hear his view. He envisions IFS becoming the standard of care for psychedelic work.

Let me know if you have more questions.

Would you touch a poop for $20?

No, would you?

No, definitely not.

Now I can tell my 4 year old about this convo when he asks about my work day 😆

Hi Lucille! Thanks so much for doing this, I was unfamiliar with IFS until today, but after reading through this AMA I think I might be doing something similar with my own methods.

A quick summary of what I've done for the past decade or so: Early on, right after graduating from high school, I identified a part (I didn't consider them one at the time). Having been interested in Jungian psychology, I tried to bring them out and classify them in a way that I understood. I'm also very affected (and enthralled) by color psychology, so I attempted to combine this part with the color I felt best represented it both conceptually and emotionally, and Green was reified. After a bit of struggle, I found a way (by wearing a green beanie) to express Green comfortably, and I decided a schedule (the beginnings of my color calendar) would be best to structure and familiarize myself with Green. I got to know and feel Green quite well, with all of their habits and coping mechanisms, but they didn't encompass everything that I was, and I knew that. So I forged onward. Today I have seven Colors (each with their own hat) that each correspond to a unique persona. Most of them (besides the two extremes - Red and Violet - or exiles, as they might be called in IFS) I can express easily wherever I am, and I've developed my schedule into something a bit more complex, but something that I'm comfortable with.

I've had trouble trying to identify what exactly it is that I'm doing and why it makes me feel better, and I feel like IFS is the most similar in theory that I've found. However, to me, my parts are more than just a way to cope, I cherish them and thinking about integrating them all into my Self makes me uncomfortable. They help me function and maybe, once they all get along, I can meld them together, but I'm not sure how to go about getting them all to agree, since they can have drastically different ideologies that each serve their utility in different situations.

So after all that and this recent revelation regarding IFS, I'm wondering: Is total integration with the Self really the true end goal? Am I supposed to say goodbye to these parts of me I wholly identify with that are each so unique? I don't want to be alone in my head, I enjoy the growing camaraderie and rapport from my Colors and I feel that if I brought everything together, attributes would cancel out and I would simply feel Grey.

PS - sorry about the wall of text, this can be difficult for me to talk about with others but I got really excited with the similarities to IFS, and I'd be grateful to hear a professional's thoughts on the matter.

Maybe I should just book a session.

Hi u/sooshimon, what a fascinating and original relationship you've developed with your inner world. It sounds honoring of yourself as well as gratifying. As an art therapist, I love the expression in the language of colors.

Thank you for sharing with me and everyone reading here.

About integration with the Self:

No, that's not the goal! We'll always have parts and we get to keep them. That's part of being human, and it would be a tragedy to take that away!

As we become more and more healed inside, this typically leads to more of a feeling of integration, of wholeness. But by no means does this nullify our parts.

Let me know if this brings up more questions. I'll be around for another little bit before closing the AMA.

Is this a useful method to address attachment disorders?

Hi u/Chuymatt, it can be. Any therapy that helps heal childhood trauma will be helpful in this vein.

A curiosity question!
It seems that you research a lot of theory, as you learned from IFS, Jungian analysis, creative art therapy and shamanic pracitces. Could you share with us what you found to be trustworthy resources to check out, or channels to follow where knowledge is being generated, be it scientific, innovation or other research?

Hi u/EfficientlyEpic what a wonderful question. And yes, I am passionate about rigorous and careful learning. When you say trustworthy resources to check out, do you mean for IFS in particular, or more generally about healing? Or do you have something else in mind?

Awesome!
I was thinking of: authors, scientific research groups, platforms/newsletters/assiociations where professionals share knowledge, commercial organisations and institutes can also do research... Maybe just sources or channels that you think are good to rely on to get new or deeper insights.
I'm very new to IFS (less than a year) so it's difficult to assess where insights are coming from.

Ok, and do you mean IFS-specific?

What do you think Jung would add to IFS?

u/Remote_Comment2941 I love this question.

There are some fundamental differences between the Jungian approach and IFS. I work with the Jungian approach as a robust framework, and IFS as an invaluable tool / technique to deploy within that framework.

A central tenent of the Jungian approach is forming a respectfully collaborative relationship with our unconscious. To do this, we must listen to the unconscious, and Jung identified two major tools for this: dreams, and active imagination. However, he barely defined active imagination and few people know of the practice.

IFS solves that problem.

IFS provides a clear way to do active imagination. It provides a learnable and reliable pathway into the dimension of psyche, the dimension of our parts.

This is how IFS can be an invaluable addition to Jungian analysis.

One of the pitfalls of IFS, however, is that if it's not wielded with the correct attitude it can cause harm. It's very important we approach parts work with an attitude of respect that our unconscious has the right to keep some material in the darkness. We must respect the mystery.

IFS is a powerful shamanic tool and must be used with respect.

IFS can become a weapon if we use it to try to bludgeon our unconscious into showing things it's not ready to, or if we try to manipulate our parts.

This boils down to it being very important that we identify our Self-Like Parts.

I've gotten a little off-track from your question, but hope this helps!

(Note: You can learn about Self-Like Parts here: https://seekdeeply.com/ifs-therapy-guide-6-most-common-self-like-parts-framework-blog-post/ and join a free workshop for identifying yours here: https://seekdeeply.com/workshop-ifs-therapy/)

[deleted]

Hi u/devil_d0c this sounds like a very, very painful situation.

I try not to approach things with a "should" attitude. I think the question is: What's honoring of you? Perhaps you could do some parts work to find out the different needs inside of you.

I’m a new therapist and I’m really interested in incorporating IFS into my practice. Where should I start?

Hello u/profanitymanatee, thanks for your patience with my reply.

Have you experienced IFS therapy yourself, as a client?

This can be the most long-term rewarding investment of resources because your own inner explorations of the inner word will always be accessible to you, and won't be constrained by an outside curriculum.

You might know that the waitlist to get into an official IFS training is over 7,000 people long. It's a lottery, though, so you can join the waitlist and cross your fingers you get lucky.

I've had some therapists join my Soul-Led IFS Mastermind instead of waiting for the official training, so they can get direct experience themselves. If you want to learn more, you can check it out here: https://seekdeeply.com/mastermind

How does one begin to do IFS on themselves ? :)

Hi u/txmsh3r, I answered a similar question here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8n446s/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Check that out and lmk if you have more questions!

What is your opinion on parts creating recurring pain in the body? It’s known that emotional traumas can manifest as physical pain, and can reoccur when the emotional trauma is not treated or healed. And parts manifest because of traumas as well. Is it possible that parts manifest as physical pain? If so, what would you recommend as a starting point to deal with this?

Hi u/Coliexsunshine, super connection you're making.

YES, absolutely parts can cause pain in the body. They can cause all sorts of physical symptoms. I've worked with many people with psychosomatic issues stemming from parts, and IFS can make a big difference.

Speaking personally, I developed an intolerance of gluten as an adult and later met the part that was causing this symptom. I learned why it was doing this, and negotiated over it agreeing to relieve the symptom. Today, I can tolerate gluten much better than before working with that part. (Scientific talk: I think of this particular example as the part turning on something I had a genetic predisposition to, aka using epigenetics to communicate with me)

Often these parts are frustrated we're not hearing them, and they're trying to communicate something to us.

It'd be much easier if they could directly tell us, wouldn't you agree? But we have to set the conditions to make that possible.

Which leads to your final question.

As a starting point, you could begin a session asking to meet the part(s) of you connected to the physical pain. You would then ask the part what it's job is, and what it's afraid would happen if it doesn't send you that pain.

This can be complex work and if you're in physical pain, really affecting your quality of life. You might want to consider finding an IFS therapist to guide this, if you can afford it. A good directory is here: https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners

Here's one: how much is "focusing on your yourself" before you reach a level of narcissistic psychopathy?

Here's another: do you think that social media is aggravating our levels of narcissism to the point were empathy is discarded in favor of the ego?

And here's another: is there any study regarding the psychological effects of swiping in dating apps? My guess is that it further aggravates our levels of indifference towards people by turning them into commodities.

Hi u/nephilim80,

You ask about narcissism. Hot topic!

People who qualify for a diagnosis or narcissism will have been that way essentially since childhood. No amount of adult introspection will turn someone into a narcissist. Quite the opposite, in fact: Narcissists are not interested in actually seeing themselves, because at the core they feel they're worthless. Instead, they're interested in puffing up their persona.

That said, I do want to point out that there is a healthy degree of narcissism, if we're talking about concern for one's well-being and positive self-view. In fact, children have a "narcissistic" view of the world. It's developmentally appropriate.

Regarding social media and the ego: Our egos are perpetually in danger of becoming unbalanced and externalizing our sense of worth, which is a prime quality of narcissism.

About swiping in dating apps: There likely are such studies, you could search on Google Scholar. I'd tend to agree with your guess.

How does someone recover from an incredibly abusive spouse?

Hi u/mikebookseller, thanks for the question.

I have to admit I feel sad reading this because I'm guessing you're asking from personal experience.

One of the biggest antidotes is building a live human connection with a caring, safe person. Therapy is one way to do this.

You can look for an IFS therapist or another therapist. The main important quality is that you feel deeply respected by them. That your inner compass says YES.

If you decide to look for a therapist, I'd recommend planning to interview several.

After meeting a potential therapist, you might like to pay attention to your dreams (if you remember them), for signs about whether it's a good fit.

I hope this helps.

Hi Lucille, thank you for this.

I've been attempting IFS on myself and ran into the same issues you said you did on your blog.

What you said about trying to consciously keep track of the process and how it can inherently invite managers makes perfect sense to me.

The thing is, when I read and listened to your method for dealing with this dilemma of "containment" by asking "that which is greater than us to help contain us" I felt a bit dejected, and as an atheist, felt confused about the meaning of this.

I perceived it as just going "Yolo" allowing whatever wants to come up to come up, letting whatever happens happen, and letting the chips fall as they may. Of course, not sure if this is what you meant or not.

This feels scary to me though, fearing emotional overwhelm, if that perception is correct. My protectors wouldn't allow this.

My question is, if someone is an atheist and doesn't believe in the idea of "That which is greater than us" or other spiritual elements you reference, is there any other way to deal with this dilemma of Self-containment?

Hi u/NoLandscape9327 thanks for the thoughtful question.

I'm hearing two questions - lmk if this is correct:

1. As an atheist, how can you handle containment with solo IFS? (Re. asking that which is greater than us to contain us)
2. Whether to allow whatever arises to arise, almost like a free-for-all, given that this feels it'd lead to overwhelm

Re. #1:

[Edit: I want to add this is a really good question and I'm glad you brought it up. I can imagine why you felt disappointed by the "greater than you" prompt]

First, you don't have to believe in G-d to believe there's something greater that you.

Second, you don't have to believe there's something greater than you to make the invitation. I'm curious: If you went ahead and asked something greater than you (going through the motions), even while knowing you don't believe in that, what could that be like?

When we make this invitation, we humble ourselves and name our own inability to contain ourselves as a separate entity (Ex. therapist) would. This is a symbolic act which communicates through layers of the psyche. It's a willingness and acknowledgement that we're not "in charge" in a managerial way.

How is this for you to consider?

On a related tangent, I wouldn't say I believe what happens in IFS is literally true. I don't know if it's true or not. All I know for sure is is it's shown to be a useful metaphor and tool that functions. I don't really care if it's literally true or not. I'm agnostic regarding the literalness of IFS. But for me, it's besides the point.

For #2:

Great question. So what we're actually going for in solo IFS is to be the Regular You. I don't know your name, let's pretend it's Lee. So in solo IFS, we'd want the Regular Lee to be showing up. This is distinct from Self, and it's distinct from parts. It's basically who you are in regular day-to-day life, your normal state of consciousness, when you're not blended with one part. Don't overthink it. It's just you, the person you feel you are, the person who will close the journal after your session and move on with your day.

The Regular You is a mixture of parts all swirled together in your consciousness. The key difference is that you're not blended with one part, because when that happens, when one part is behind the wheel, there is no room for anything else - aka no room for Self. When you're in the Regular You, there is space, and it makes it possible for Self to get in naturally as the solo session progresses. Without striving to have Self come.

Not only is the Regular You the only state from which we can really approach authentic parts work on ourselves, but it's also the bridge between IFS work and your regular life.

So as you become comfortable with the concept of being able to meet your parts from the Regular You - knowing that you don't have to be in that altered state of Self - it becomes easier to be in contact with these parts in day-to-day life. And that means that you can access IFS more easily. You won't need to pull out an official session just to connect inside.

Now, if you're in the Regular You and you're allowing yourself to respond authentically to what arises, that means that if you start to feel overwhelmed by things, you'd respond accordingly. You could say (write) things like:

- "This feels too big"

- "I'm feeling overwhelmed"

Etc.

Of course if your inner compass (that sense of knowing) indicates it's right for you to stop the session early, you can do that!

But in addition, when material from other parts feels overwhelming, we can ask those parts to turn down the intensity. We can also explain our concerns. Everything that happens in a real conversation can happen here.

How is this? Lmk if you have more questions.

Thank you so much for the detailed reply.

TL:DR is at bottom for your convenience.

​

​

I'm hearing two questions - lmk if this is correct:

As an atheist, how can you handle containment with solo IFS? (Re. asking that which is greater than us to contain us)

2Whether to allow whatever arises to arise, almost like a free-for-all, given that this feels it'd lead to overwhelm

The first one, yes. The second, I was more so indirectly asking if that's what you meant by your way of dealing with the containment dilemma, rather than what to do if that WAS the case.

I can see that you clarified what you meant though in your reply. Regardless, your answer for #2 is interesting to me.

Second, you don't have to believe there's something greater than you to make the invitation. I'm curious: If you went ahead and asked something greater than you (going through the motions), even while knowing you don't believe in that, what could that be like?

I guess it would feel like asking/talking to someone that isn't there, while in an empty room. Essentially nothing would happen.

When we make this invitation, we humble ourselves and name our own inability to contain ourselves as a separate entity (Ex. therapist) would. This is a symbolic act which communicates through layers of the psyche. It's a willingness and acknowledgement that we're not "in charge" in a managerial way.

To make sure I understand this right, you're clarifying that asking "that which is greater than us to help contain us" is essentially saying to acknowledge and accept that we don't have the ability "contain" ourselves, aka internally keep track of the IFS process within?

And to also acknowledge that there is no way for us to "lead" the process of IFS?

If so, alright, I understand now how this can be unrelated to God or spirituality in general.

I also *think* I'm already doing that since I do understand why and how it's impossible for us to do so.

Another response that comes up from my mind is "I intellectually understand why and how we can't lead or track the process in IFS, but the alternative sounds like what I feared regarding letting the chips fall as they may."

I see that you responded to that fear though in the quote below.

For #2:

Great question. So what we're actually going for in solo IFS is to be the Regular You. I don't know your name, let's pretend it's Lee. So in solo IFS, we'd want the Regular Lee to be showing up. This is distinct from Self, and it's distinct from parts. It's basically who you are in regular day-to-day life, your normal state of consciousness, when you're not blended with one part. Don't overthink it. It's just you, the person you feel you are, the person who will close the journal after your session and move on with your day.

The Regular You is a mixture of parts all swirled together in your consciousness. The key difference is that you're not blended with one part, because when that happens, when one part is behind the wheel, there is no room for anything else - aka no room for Self. When you're in the Regular You, there is space, and it makes it possible for Self to get in naturally as the solo session progresses. Without striving to have Self come.

Not only is the Regular You the only state from which we can really approach authentic parts work on ourselves, but it's also the bridge between IFS work and your regular life.

So as you become comfortable with the concept of being able to meet your parts from the Regular You - knowing that you don't have to be in that altered state of Self - it becomes easier to be in contact with these parts in day-to-day life. And that means that you can access IFS more easily. You won't need to pull out an official session just to connect inside.

So hopefully I understand this: You're saying that what we're shooting for in IFS is not to let whoever comes up comes up in a literal sense, but that whoever is here RIGHT NOW is the person to direct your attention on?

If so, well that's good to know we're not just letting inner bombs go off, but I also suppose this is confusing me again, because if I think "who is the 'regular me' that is my current everyday Self?" I see that as the me right now typing this message to you trying to figure out the answer to these issues. This is the same person that attempts IFS too.

If I went more in depth, it would be me saying in a journal "I'm currently afraid to do IFS haphazardly due to overwhelm, but I also am confused how to move forward and address this fear when I also am getting in my own way trying to keep track of the process to ensure I don't trip a wire and become overwhelmed. I'm aware that I exist doing this right now and I don't know what to do about it, because to not do it could mean blindly walking on a bomb."

So the person who appears in my internal IFS session, is the person here right now confused on what to do.

So I feel confused because it's like, wouldn't that be redundant and put me back in the same situation I'm in now?

---

TL;DR:

So overall, I perceived you saying that by asking "that which is greater than us to help contain us" you're saying we want to acknowledge and accept that we don't and can't have control in the internal IFS process.

I perceived that you're also saying that this doesn't mean "letting go" in the sense of allowing anything to come up, but instead asking "Who is here RIGHT NOW, and what is it you'd like to speak on?"

To which, I feel confused because the person "here right now" in the IFS session is the person typing this.

Hi u/NoLandscape9327,

About the person "here right now typing this" - YES, you can treat that as the Regular You and you start the solo IFS from there. The Regular You is just whoever you are right now as long as you're not blended with one part that has tunnel vision. (Again, the Regular You is more of a mixture of parts)

Regarding

"I'm currently afraid to do IFS haphazardly due to overwhelm, but I also am confused how to move forward and address this fear when I also am getting in my own way trying to keep track of the process to ensure I don't trip a wire and become overwhelmed. I'm aware that I exist doing this right now and I don't know what to do about it, because to not do it could mean blindly walking on a bomb."

That's a good place to start, but I would emphasize that the solo IFS journaling is a dialogue. So if you were talking to someone inside, how would you express that?

You could also check if that fear about doing IFS haphazardly would be willing to talk directly to you.

Like: "What are you afraid will happen if we get overwhelmed?"

It might not be willing to do that, in which case you'll be at least partially blended with it, which is a fine place to start.

Just remember that you're arriving at this solo IFS space to talk to what's inside. To meet another. To dialogue. To connect.

Do you have any resources for locating a therapist that is familiar with IFS in NY in the USA? Specifically Long Island? I have had no luck in finding a therapist that mentions they are familiar with IFS

Hi u/Coliexsunshine, the official IFS directory is always a good resource as it shows people who've completed an official IFS training - https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners. You can filter your search by state and city.

I searched for "Long Island" and found this: https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners?country=All&us_state=NY&city=Long+Island&approved_consultant=All&level=All&availability=All&consultation_availability=All&field_acceptphone_value=All&keyword=&field_geofield_proximity%5Bvalue%5D=100&field_geofield_proximity%5Bsource_configuration%5D%5Borigin_address%5D=

Please note: The IFS directory lists anyone who's done an official IFS training, but not all of them are mental health professionals. Many are coaches or regular lay-people. Check the bios carefully to ensure it's a therapist, if that matters to you.

Hi Lucille, I appreciate you a lot for your wisdom you share with the world. I have complex PTSD with strong dissociation symptoms. I'm trying to teach my brain the new IFS language but it seems that I will need more than once or twice a week sessions with a therapist to make real change with decoding and reprogramming. What is a good go-to place as an add-on with hands on options on finding recordings of how to manage day to day challenges?

Hi u/RevolutionaryOwl8087 I appreciate your question.

Re. hands-on-options of recordings, do you mean IFS-specific?

IFS therapy saved my literal life.

Glad you are here!

How long have you used IFS as a tool?

Thanks u/ECU_BSN 😄

In the professional realm, I officially trained in 2011 to 2012, so that makes it over 10 years.

This is pretty unusual, as back then hardly anyone knew about Internal Family Systems. The vast majority of IFS therapists have trained in the last few years.

Living and working with IFS for years has changed my relationship to it and understanding of it to be much more nuanced. At the beginning, I thought it was the Holy Grail of healing. Now I understand it can be a central tool, but it's not the answer in every case. (Not everything is a nail needing a hammer!)

As a client, I was introduced to IFS in my early 20s. So it's been a personal tool for quite a long time.

Would you be willing to elaborate on how you were first introduced to IFS, how it was beneficial to your own life compared to other types of therapy, and what made you decide to specialize in it?

Yes, u/bokurai. I found IFS as a young adult after a traumatic incident. The trauma therapist I saw began with EMDR - which was very helpful - then incorporated IFS into sessions.

When I first got into Self energy, I felt like I'd finally returned to who I really was. I became aware I'd forgotten who I was for so long that I didn't even know I'd lost "me."

It was such an incredible feeling that I was hooked. I immediately read all the IFS literature available at the time (only Dick Schwartz books back then!) and began adopting IFS into my worldview.

Years later, I had trouble finding an IFS therapist, and I got fed up of the frustration. I decided to sign up for an official IFS training - mainly to get the personal benefit, to be honest!

My book coming out in autumn 2023 goes into the FULL story 😉

In an odd synchronicity I just scrolled across this AMA while listening to a podcast interviewing Frank Anderson. I like the way he speaks, would his content be a good place to start learning about IFS for someone who never heard about it until today?

u/NorseMickonIce just saw this! Yes, Frank Anderson is well-respected in IFS circles. If you feel a connection, that's a great way to start.

I'm all for trusting yourself!

Are you aware of any research on the efficacy of and/or challenges for autistic people doing IFS therapy?

Great question, u/b00jum. I did a quick scan of Google Scholar and don't see any published research, unfortunately. There are some general articles on the topic if you want to simply Google.

Hello! Do you know of any IFS work with families who have a child exhibiting reactive attachment disorder?

Hi u/Justarandom_Joe I don't personally. Googling "IFS therapy for RAD reactive attachment" shows several resources, but I'm sure you've already done that.

For RAD I do recommend the work and books of Dr. Karyn Purvis, if you don't already know her.

Do you have a book?

Hi u/SoundlessScream I do have a book coming out autumn 2023! It's a workbook about doing solo IFS.

I'll be gathering an inside circle book launch team. If you want to join it, and get an early copy of the book to review, you can join my email list where I'll announce when the launch team is open https://seekdeeply.com/

How long does it take to benefit from IFS and how do I know if it is right for me?

Hi u/Significant_Diet_474 these are questions many people have, and they're important.

It really depends. Of course we'd need to know what you mean by "benefit." Does that mean generally "feeling better"? Working with an entrenched issue? Dealing with something relatively minor? Having foundational changes?

In my experience, most people feel a benefit after one session.

IFS can be very intellectually satisfying as it often provides us a window into why we've been doing certain things (read: why parts have done what they've done). Hence the immediate relief.

However, after the novelty wears off, there's more variation in how much benefits different clients get. After all, the satisfaction of insight doesn't necessarily correlate to true healing.

One of the problems with IFS is we can get distracted by those big insights - and even by the genuinely moving connections with parts - and not realize that on the deep level we're not changing if IFS is our only tool. The best way I can explain this is that IFS is like doing a renovation in your house (the house = you). It can be really satisfying to renovate part of a room, different rooms, etcetera. It can change our quality of life. But if the foundation of the house is not sound, there's a major problem.

I've found that something additional is needed: a framework through which to identify the foundational issues in a person. Because otherwise, we might have IFS session after IFS session (every single one meaningful and tear-wrenching and big-feeling) and be working with endless numbers of parts, but missing the main stuff.

So in those cases, IMO no amount of pure IFS sessions (when there's parts talk the entire time) might be enough if the person were looking for real foundational change.

I work with people who are seeking that Big Prize: becoming who they really are. My process combines IFS and Jungian analysis and takes 1-2 years.

In terms of knowing if it's right for you, I'd say trying a session would be the truest way to tell.

How's this land with you?

I'd love to hear from you: have you heard of NLP and if so, does it relate to IFS in any way fron what you know?

Interesting question. I have no professional experience with NLP. I'm afraid I'm only familiar with NLP from Wikipedia which calls it pseudoscientific, and anecdotally from an incredible therapist I worked with once who mentioned she loved NLP - but we never did it so I can't assess its efficacy in any way.

But in general, there are many approaches that recognize the natural multiplicity of the mind, and IFS overlaps with the stance that that's normal.