LucilleAaronWayne

Hi u/Pastel_Purkinje. Nice question.

Severe trauma requires a clinician who is specially trained in trauma, and I've chosen not to specialize in that.

My focus instead is helping people individuate: helping people become who they really are. I'm working on the border between thriving and functioning. (Rather than the border of functioning and surviving.) This border, too, requires a specialized set of training for someone to become an excellent therapist.

Because I so deeply respect the importance of having qualified support for trauma, I don't offer myself for dealing with actively life-disrupting trauma.

I'm glad you asked this central question, u/GeneralDelay812!

IFS therapy is a method for healing that says it's natural to have many different "parts" (like sub-personalities) inside of us*. It also says that every single adult has Self - a core that is deeply wise, caring, and the ideal inner healer which can help all these different parts.

\These parts are either Exiles (the most vulnerable, wounded parts of us which carry the deepest inner pain) or Protectors (which can be further identified as Managers or Firefighters.*

IFS provides a clear roadmap for how to get into Self, build relationships with our different parts, and ultimately heal them. This frees our own natural qualities to develop and mature as they were meant to, as they would have if they'd not been warped or suppressed because of trauma. Our real essence gets to come to the surface and we get to feel more and more like our true selves.

You can get a 1-minute explanation, a 5-minute explanation and a full-on detailed explanation here: https://seekdeeply.com/what-is-ifs-therapy-introduction-to-the-internal-family-systems-model-by-richard-c-schwartz-blog-post/

IFS is one of the fastest-growing therapies and it's becoming wildly popular across the globe. People seem to recognize IFS is different, it brings something unique that most other psychological approaches don't. A lot of people become extremely excited when they learn about IFS. Why is that?

In my opinion, the x factor of IFS boils down to two things:

1. IFS synthesizes the more traditional scientific psychological approach with a shamanic approach. This gives people access to the ancient human technology of our shamanic heritage in a way that's accepted by popular culture (Ex. it's "normal" to see a therapist, at least in many segments of society; experiences like depression are validated as "real" and given medical diagnoses)
2. IFS can bring results and big insights relatively quickly, and this is naturally very exciting for people

Re. books for self IFS therapy, you can check out my answer here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8mxq55/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3

Hello back, u/TylerJWhit!

1. Re. avoiding retraumatization with solo IFS, see my reply here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8nym68/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Lmk if you have more questions around that.
2. I've not worked with anyone formally diagnosed with DID, although I have in-person witnessed another IFS therapist working with such a client who generously allowed therapists-in-training to observe. Typically with IFS, the person will be aware of what each of their parts have said in an IFS session. But with DID, the person will not necessarily be aware of such. DID involves a high level of polarization between parts, a distinct Self-Like part being in charge, and parts blending fully with the person (such that there is no space for Self at all, as I explain regarding the "Regular You" here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8nv7yc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) There can also be a quality of rigidity of parts in contrast to a more harmonious system, in which there is more dynamism and parts might meld in and out of particular forms (Ex. a part met in one session might not appear in the same recognizable form in another session, and that's okay!) Regarding integration, I don't have a particular stance, but I'll say that IFS says that DID is an extreme form of a natural inner dynamic. Therefore, the path to healing in IFS would be applicable to DID.
3. As with any social psychological phenomenon, the detrimental effects of social media are complex. I don't have a set of general thoughts to share because I don't specialize in this. But if you want to ask a more specific question about social media and mental health, you're welcome to.

Beautiuful u/ECU_BSN. It sounds like you and Nelly have quite a mutually trusting relationship.

Thank you for sharing your personal experience with everyone.

The IFS model says that unburdenings are permanent. So if an unburdening is done fully, then theoretically that burden is removed forever from the Exile. This is typically what I see.

That said, if an unburdening was not done throughoughly, an Exile might need the person to go back to really finish a part of the process. Most often this means more witnessing.

In addition, an Exile can have more than one burden. So the Exile could still be a burdened part if the other burden(s) haven't been removed.

Another scenario in which an Exile's unburdening can be "undone" is when that process was not facilitated by Self, but by a Self-Like Part. These are parts that resemble Self because they have similar qualities (like compassion, curiosity, care) but are actually parts and have their own agenda. It can be difficult to identify these parts, even IFS therapists might not realize a client is in a Self-Like Part if the therapist is not alert to the possibility. (More info on Self-Like Parts here - https://seekdeeply.com/ifs-therapy-guide-6-most-common-self-like-parts-framework-blog-post/ ... I'm offering a free workshop on how to untangle yourself from these parts: https://seekdeeply.com/workshop-ifs-therapy/)

Theoretically, if an Exile was unburdened via the therapist's Self rather than the client's, then that part might still mistrust the client's Self.

Hope this helps! Follow up with more questions if you like.