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I'm 5 years old. AMAA.
Note from dad: Wow, time flies! My son really loved doing the 3 and 4 year old AMA's and has been asking me when he can do another. It's finally time!
Same rules as before: Ask my 5 year old son almost anything. I'll read him the questions and type his answers exactly as given. No coaching or translating. I reserve the right to ignore any questions that I feel are inappropriate.
Previous years:
I'm continuing to use the "3yearold" account name again to tie this AMA to the other ones. He wants to be sure that I tell everyone that he's really FIVE now!
EDIT: Bedtime! Keep the questions coming and we'll pick up again in the morning.
EDIT2: And we're back!
EDIT3: Proof! http://i.imgur.com/hXOFol.jpg
redpoemage1758 karma
Have you realized that this is the last year you can show people your age using only one hand?
3yearold2383 karma
WAKE UP! HICCUP! WHY'D YOU LEAVE THE KEYS UPON THE TABLE? YOU WANTED TO!
3yearold1298 karma
Well, I'll give it to my dad cause I'm not even a parent yet. But I'll keep the money if there is money!
Jawthumb1028 karma
I have the whole set, and the book with illustrations! It's cool. I only have the original five though.
3yearold1477 karma
YOU HAVE THAT BOOK THAT THE MONSTERS WERE TRYING TO GET? If you want to get rid of it just give it to me and you'll get rid of it by giving it to me!
Jawthumb1400 karma
Arthur Spiderwick's field guide? I loved it, but I'm a bit too old for it now. If you want it, PM me your address and I'd be very happy to send it to you. You'd appreciate it more than me, and your AMAAs have given me enough laughs to be worth it. It's in almost perfect condition.
3yearold1427 karma
Thank you! :) Thank you sooooo much! I'll keep it safe from the monsters!
Now I'll tell you where the first movie is. It's at the library. The one that has prizes and where story time is. But not the really, really big one. The small one. They have the Spiderwick Chronicles movie there and you can just go get it and they'll just GIVE it to you! They let you borrow it for free! Now you can go watch it too!
3yearold1499 karma
Pretty cool. He's ALMOST as cool as Iron Man. Oh, and also the Hulk. He's even cooler than Thor.
amimimi1067 karma
If you could be an animal..what would you be?
Cookies or brownies?
Have a girlfrieeennndd? ;) My niece is your age if you're interested!
3yearold1609 karma
A scorpion so I could scare my dad! When we play hide and seek I could hide and he could find me and I'd be like, "BOO! I'M A SCORPION!"
Brownies.
Uhhhh... I'm scared to answer!
3yearold1921 karma
No. I hate girls. Well, I do like Peyton and mommy. Peyton is my sister and my mommy is my mommy.
EmKM1035 karma
Do you ever wish that adults treated you more like a grown up?
Do you wish that you were older, or do you like being 5?
What's your biggest goal for when you grow up? Could be a job, or something else.
3yearold1480 karma
Yes. And they have to give me soda pop.
I wish that I was older because I want to be old enough to drink soda pop.
Finding a dragon.
Gullible_Skeptic994 karma
Can you provide any proof that you are really five? We get a lot of four year-olds coming to this subreddit trying to pass themselves off as being old enough to go to grade school.
3yearold978 karma
Hmm... well... let me see. Ask me a math question that only a 5-year-old would know.
hello_humans911 karma
What is the last movie you watched? What is your favorite food? What do you think of girls?
3yearold1397 karma
Because when I was 4 answering questions there was this thing that said "what's the scariest thing in the world?" and I said "a green man changing into aliens who can throw up and the throw up can turn into guns and shoot people."
3yearold1643 karma
A fire truck that turns into a monster truck and the fire hose instead of spitting water it spits acid out and it has a fire hydrant and it connects a hose to that and it blows up and it turns into little monsters and the monsters get bigger if they get fire on them.
thecoolestdude657 karma
If I remember correctly, one of our novelty accounts of last year illustrated this. That needs to happen again.
3yearold883 karma
I hope someone draws it like when they drawed my person turning into a green person throwing up guns that shoot people. I hope it turns out just like that.
My green person picture got erased. I wish it didn't. I really liked it.
3yearold1386 karma
My dog. When we open the gate to go to our pool he runs in to the pool because he's hot.
Buried_Dolls845 karma
I have one scoop of vanilla ice cream, what should I add to it to make it awesome?
3yearold1424 karma
You should add some chocolate ice cream.
And some gummy bears and M&Ms and whip cream and a cherry. And maybe some sprinkles wouldn't hurt.
butt_turtle827 karma
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
FakePlasticJayj734 karma
I'm going to be a Dad very soon. What is the best advice that you can give me on how to be a good dad?
3yearold1560 karma
Well, you could make a pond. Or a pool. Even if you're really mad at your kid you have to still be nice and give him other chances. And here's one thing that you have to never forget. This is an old saying. You have to tie a rope to your son and you and it stays together for as long as you live and longer so you love each other as long as you live and longer. But every dad has to know that their kid loves them too.
lolmonade715 karma
Will you be willing to continue doing this with your dad until you're at least 18? I would be fascinated if this could be a continuing trend as you get older!
munchiemania654 karma
What is your goal in life? Where do you want to be when you are your dads age?
3yearold1279 karma
What is your goal in life?
Going to the bathroom. Haha. Not really. Going to another galaxy!
Where do you want to be when you are your dads age?
Doing Crazy Monkey Games.
redpoemage972 karma
Looks like someone is going through his "Those are for little kids, I'm a big boy now" phase :P
Master-Thief574 karma
Drassielle530 karma
Do you have any brothers or sisters? If so, what do you think of them? If not, do you want any younger brothers or sisters?
3yearold929 karma
Yes. I stretch and do push ups and squats and jog and lift weights sometimes in the basement. I do more stuff but there's way too much stuff.
FggyGggls425 karma
If you could go anywhere in the world for free where would you go? If you could change one of your parent's rules which one would you change?
3yearold916 karma
If you could go anywhere in the world for free where would you go?
Hawaii. And if it was actually free in the real world then I would want to go to Fiji.
If you could change one of your parent's rules which one would you change?
I would change no TV for the day when I was grounded. I would also change me not getting to drive a car.
silverdirge405 karma
Congratulations on being 5! Now that you're 5 years old, do you feel you've learned a lot since you were 4? Do you feel more "grown up" than last year?
yebbit293 karma
My son is one year old. What is one thing you wanted to tell your dad when you were one but couldn't because you didn't know the words?
3yearold616 karma
Green goo turning into a monster of green goo and if it spits green goo at you the green goo is poison and if it gets on you you're poisoned. And it can turn into anything like a scorpion and a tarantula or anything and it can also eat you. And when you're in it you die. And that's all.
Galveira251 karma
In 10 years, you will be half as old as I will be in 10 years. How old am I right now?
Edit: Even though the OP got the correct answer and most likely understood the question, I think my wording may be a bit confusing. It's times like these I wish language used parentheses for easy parsing.
I'll try to make it clearer: (OP's age 10 years from today) will be half of (my age 10 years from today). How old am I today?
3yearold609 karma
...[5 minutes of finger counting, "read the question again," and "no, wait! I can do it!]...
20!
3yearold351 karma
Really awesome! Actually they're not really awesome. They're SUPER AWESOME!
3yearold501 karma
I remember us going to a gas station when Peyton was first being born, and I was wearing my "best big brother" shirt. We were going to the hospital when Peyton was first being born. And it wasn't a dream but it was a dream come true!
3yearold417 karma
Let me think... Girls like honesty, and girls like you giving them flowers. And they like going on boat cruises with a boy. And girls like going to a place where people date on a cruise ship. And they have someone wearing a diaper with a bow and arrow and..... I think that's all.
I guess you must be going on a date with somebody but you don't want to but the girl said you had to. Right?
3yearold374 karma
I would sneak ice cream. And get comics for free. And go to band and say I'm an invisible ghooooost and if you do not play Wake-up-Hiccup song then I will hauuuuuuunnnnnt you! Then I'll go to my house and turn on the TV and watch it and no one can see me do it cause I'll be invisible.
And I'll also go on an airplane and duck under the people who scan you. But it's ok cause I won't have anything.
probably-maybe2202 karma
How do you feel about updog?
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