Here is the link to my co-workers AMA:

My job is much more difficult than her job is.. She knows it! Women are not nearly as likely to just go out on a random date with a stranger as men are. But I am a professional with many great resources, and I've been doing this is 6 years.. So I like to say I'm pretty damn good at it.

So ask away!

EDIT: Sorry I was away last night when this was really popular on the homepage. I had to work late! I'm back now Thursday morning answering more questions. I would like to point out a few things...

1. ThrowawayFlirt let me read through her private messages, and I was fucking shocked! My inbox is filled with like 2000+ messages and comments all saying how awesome I am and how much I help people in bad situations and basically making me out to be a hero.. ThrowawayFlirt literally does the exact same job I do, yet her inbox was filled with hate saying she should be raped and killed because she does nothing but ruin families and destroy relationships. I was happy to see the "barbsteele" comment and everything that followed. It just really goes to show how fucked up and sexist people can be. Shame on many of you.

2. The only negative messages or comments I have seen directed towards myself, all have to do with my repeated use of the word "whore".. I refuse to apologize for using this word to describe the women I was referring to in those comments. When you have a husband, a man you vowed to be faithful to until death, and you send me photos of your pussy within 30 minutes of meeting some random stranger at a goddamn Starbucks... You ma'am, are a WHORE. Sorry.

Comments: 2735 • Responses: 33  • Date: 

Drunken_Economist1056 karma

OP has verified this thread with the mods.


Thanks for the verification

BuyCheapNow656 karma

Most interesting case so far?

THROWAWAY-PI1453 karma

I've been thinking about this one for an hour now! Hmmm.. So many stories...

The most interesting for me would have to be one involving gay men, because it breaks the monotony of doing and saying the same things over and over just to a different woman. This is the story of my first ever "gay bait" experience...

The guy who hired me had been living with his boyfriend for 2 years. He had to go out of town for business for like 4 months on a job, and he was very suspicious that his boyfriend was going out and whoring around. So he told me where he worked (bartender) and sent me in after him..

I went into the bar. It was a normal straight bar, kinda slow at the time. So I sat right at the bar in front of him and just started drinking and talking and being super friendly. I made sure to make a lot of eye contact and smiled a lot right at him. It worked.

He invited me out that night to a place called the "Dallas Eagle", and oh my god was it gay.. I had never been in a gay bar and this dude threw me right into the lions den. I almost didn't know what to do.. Guys were half naked, hitting on me right and left, old men with raging Viagra boners.. But I just put my game face on and danced and drank and partied for like 2 hours. Then I made up an excuse for having to leave suddenly, but told him I really needed to see him again soon. This set the stage for about a week worth of sexting and flirting and sending cock pics back and forth.

Long story short.. I got all the proof I needed for the out of town boyfriend and filed it all away as just another job well done!

veterejf430 karma sexted him...?...with pics?!?!

THROWAWAY-PI1473 karma

Oh yeah.. I'm dedicated to my job son.

kathygnome163 karma

Ever get hired by a woman to find out if her husband/boyfriend was on the down-low?


I get jobs like this quite often on BMM actually.. Woman who just has a suspicion that maybe her man likes dudes also. I've never done this type of job in person, but have many times online. Just send them a message from my FB and say I'm new to the area and want some cool guy friends to show me around. Then slowly see if I can turn the conversation sexual.

corf1479 karma

About how many of the woman you tail cheat? What's the general makeup of the people who you catch, like older women or what?


About 70% turn out to be pretty big whores in my opinion. I don't go so far as to actually fuck them, but I bring the situation as close as possible before I turn the proof over to the husband or boyfriend.

Most of my jobs come from my online employers website, and those are anywhere from 20 year old couples to 50 year old couples. But primarily younger in the late 20's - mid 30's age range.

My higher paying jobs come from local PI's and those are usually older rich men who have younger gold digging wives.. The men know these girls are cheating and being whores by now, and they just want proof of behavior traits to use in divorce courts.

corf1364 karma

Thanks, and how close do you "bring the situation as close as possible"? Is it when they're dry humping you or just messages saying that they'd fuck you.


Nothing physical besides maybe a small kiss if she initiates it. Keep in mind that our meetings are always in a public place! My goal is to get texts, emails, FB messages, etc that all talk dirty, say she wants me, admits to cheating in the past, or not admitting to having a man in the first place.. I also try to get her to send naked photos. That really means case closed in the eyes of most of my clients.

corf1344 karma

Last question from me! Do you have an SO, and if so, how does she feel about this job. Thanks for the answers btw.


No I do not have a girlfriend.. This job has ruined the thought of a happy relationship for me.. I know that sounds sad, but am still a very happy person!

Koshercrab202 karma

Do you get to keep the naked pics?


Of course not.. We have a strict do not duplicate policy! wink

[deleted]118 karma

Who sets the moral standards for how far you go and how you approach the situation? Do you just use your own judgement in all things, or are you following some sort of guidelines?


My employers have a "nothing physically sexual" rule.. But if we're in a public bar and she leans in for a small kiss, then it's ok to allow that.

a_plan_so_cunning399 karma

so, I have hired you because I think my girlfriend is cheating on me with a guy from work. please can you give me a run down of your general process of how to get to the bottom of the case. Just the general process, don't feel that you have to give out your super spy secrets


I will have lots of questions for you...

Where does she work? Where does she hang out, eat, drink? What are her favorite bands? I'll need her Facebook, Twitter, and/or Cell number..

Has she cheated before that you know of? If so, then tell me the story.. If not, then tell me the reasons why you or so suspicious.

I build a file of all this info and then go to work.. Approach her the best way possible whether online or in person. Every case needs a slightly different approach.

Online jobs from my internet employer usually are targeting younger women, while my in person jobs from local PI's are usually older targets.

vguerrero1217399 karma

What's the farthest a woman has tried to go with you? Any of them try to force themselves on you?

THROWAWAY-PI1094 karma

60 year old guy had a 30 year old alcoholic wife. They had way too much fucking money. She was smoking hot and he knew that she just got wasted all the time and slept around. I agreed to wear a mic to record our conversation in person (very rare)..

I approached her at this martini bar she always went to and she was half drunk already when I walked in at 8pm. She was with a girlfriend and they were both scanning the place for guys. I started buying them drinks and talking and flirting.. Soon enough her friend left with a guy and she took me over to a booth (we were at the bar until now)..

She started spreading her legs and showing me her pussy. She had a dress on with no panties. She had been talking dirty and obviously flirting anyway before this point, but my job was to get as much proof on the mic as possible. So I said something like "what do you want me to do with that?" to which she boldly replied "I want you to fuck it".. So this kick started a very, very graphic dirty conversation.

I had all the evidence I needed, so I got her number, said I had to leave, and told her to text me some naked pics and I promised we would meet up again the following night. She said everything in the book to get me to take her home and fuck her. I swear to God it was the hardest thing I ever did turning this woman down! Wow she was hot. She kept saying I could fuck her in her ass and do anything to her. Crazy...

_Dodecahedron_368 karma

Do you pity those who hire you? Have you ever felt bad for them?


Yes, very often. For multiple reasons.. Either they really truly love someone who continues to cheat and hurt them (which is the saddest), or they are just psycho crazy and will never let themselves be happy.

asad16357 karma

are you so good that you could get throwaway flirt to cheat on her boyfriend with you?

THROWAWAY-PI1038 karma

I doubt it.. The most I could hope for is a 3some.. It's not gay if it's in a 3-way!

[deleted]345 karma

Ever gone gay for pay?

I mean, have you ever flirted with a gay male target because your firm was hired by a suspicious gay male partner?


Yes I have! and these jobs are by far the easiest. I am blessed with good looks and am a very skilled talker, which is why I got this job in the first place. Gay men who have a history of being promiscuous are like shooting fish in a barrel for me.

dhagey270 karma

This is the one I've been waiting for!

I'm sure girls are more ruthless when they get caught

  1. Have you ever been threatened after they've been "caught"?
  2. Have you ever hooked up with any of them?


  1. You have no idea.. The amount of threats I have received over the years is insane. Women get so pissed and just rage.

  2. No. It's a dangerous game. The husbands or boyfriends trust us to not go that far, and some of them are just crazy enough to kill me. Plus I would get fired.

dhagey191 karma

care to explain the most insane threat or a good story?

Oh, also. Do you also rely mostly on Social Media and contact them first? Or do you ever meet face to face?


I had a crazy woman threaten me for a solid month every day. Over phone, emails, I blocked her from FB and finally got a restraining order. She didn't give a one single fuck. She tried to hire another PI to track down my home address! Luckily I knew the guy she hired and he told her to kick rocks, called the police, then called me.

My online jobs are always social media first and then phone.. Local jobs can be in person, but still mostly rely on social media to make first contact. It's just so easy because everyone and their mother has FB and Twitter these days.

MsBostonLee224 karma

About how long (hours, days, weeks, etc.) does it take for a women to trust you enough to consider "starting" cheating conversations with you? How easily are some women willing to cheat?


Oh wow, some girls are willing to go home to my place after 30 minutes of bullshit at the bar.. The longest it takes is maybe a week. Keep in mind that if these woman are skanks and willing to cheat, they will do it quickly. The occasional good girls who are faithful will shut me down immediately!

CatsBoobiesAndStuff215 karma

Are you as hot as your co-worker, but with a penis?

ThrowawayFlirt758 karma

He's much hotter than I am ;) LOL


Call me on Skype! Thanks for recommending I do this, it's fun!

redditor_11406 karma

Now kiss!


She has a boyfriend or I would.. Trust me!

longooglite207 karma

  1. How does one get into your field?
  2. Do you have a lot of down time?
  3. What's the most interesting thing to happen to you on the job?
  4. What's the most interesting thing you've done on the job?


  1. I answered this somewhere already.. Most in person jobs are for local PI firms. The guys who do this either come from within the firm or get recruited in because of looks and/or personality. Online jobs like are easier to get because it's all done over the internet and cell phone. Plus is a lot more higher volume than in person jobs.

  2. I work around 50-60 hours per week. But the beauty of this job is sometimes "work" just means having a drink with a hot woman, which is awesome. Then again, sometimes work is running scared from a crazy bitch who's out to kill you.

3 and 4... Already answered in one of the very top comments.

StepBackLetGo201 karma

If you don't actually go all the way with them, how do you "catch them" cheating? "I'm sure she WOULD have cheated on me..." just doesn't quite do it for me.


Good question.. For many people maybe my proof would not be good enough. From time to time we do actually have clients who ask me to go all the way and fuck her. But all my jobs go through my local firm or BaitMyMate so those clients all get told no.

The clients who hire us just want the proof in emails, texts, calls, etc.. It is enough for them 90% of the time. If your wife is willing to talk dirty on the phone, and send pussy pics, and agree to meet up and get fucked.. Then you should not be with her!

ShhhAtWork167 karma

How long has this been your occupation?

Do you have a 'go-to' persona?

What's your stitch?


6 years.

I'm the real me actually. I'm not as secretive about personal details as other coworkers of mine. I guess I should be for safety reasons.. But that's why I'm one of the best. I don't get called out for trying to lie.


ShhhAtWork124 karma

How do you keep these situations / relations professional so they dont unravel into your personal life? (Assuming flirting is a tricky business.)


It's not that hard most of the time. Occasionally with a really hot woman it's tempting. I am human after all.. But I know that I would be fired because the truth would come out. Plus the husband trusts me to be a pro and not got all the way.

beetnemesis152 karma

How often do you "fail?"

That is, either because the woman just doesn't find you attractive, or because she's actually loyal and her husband/bf is paranoid?


1 out of 4 women will reject me immediately.. Good to know that there are loyal women out there.

Noctane150 karma

Have you ever found out the person who was cheating was another PI trying to figure out if YOU were cheating?


No because I never have a girlfriend!

PantsIncognito144 karma

  • Do you talk to the women about why they would want to cheat? Is the conversation just very sexual and they want an affair, or is it usually just the result of an unhappy marriage?

  • Do the marriages often end? Or do the husbands sometimes try to work through the relationship problems?


Varies.. Sometimes you will have a woman flat out admit to being married and they just don't care. Other times she just pretends to be single from the start and will never mention a boyfriend or husband. Those girls usually act like they expect a relationship out of me!

Yes the marriages often end.. But when you think about it, if the man was so desperate that he hired a PI firm, then it's doomed already.

dejaWoot132 karma

Have you ever had a 'target' blow your cover and figure out it was a sting?


Very rarely.. I have occasionally had some women say "did my husband put you up to this". It's usually women with no self esteem that simply think there is no way in hell this hot young guy in a suit is hitting on me. Makes sense I guess.

thoughtfix131 karma

Here's one that throwawayflirt did not answer.

On the ones who "pass" the test, do you ever come clean to them that you were a test? Do they actually end up closer once they realize they were tested?


I personally do not tell them that information.. It's up to the husband to do that if he feels it's needed.

leboob104 karma

So in some ways, you're a professional at spitting game to women. Does this have a big impact on your personal sex life?


it's easier to get laid.. Practice makes perfect!

Blowmewhileiplaycod104 karma

What is the easiest way to get a girl to cheat? Honestly just curious, like what is the most effective method you use? And are you attractive?


Keep in mind that I am not trying to "trick" anyone into cheating. Many people misunderstood that I think when my co-worker posted a couple days ago. These men hire me because in most cases they are already 90% sure that they are in a relationship with a cheater. He knows his wife or girlfriend is a whore, and now he just wants proof of her behavior. Sometimes it's to be used in divorce court, and sometimes it's just to see it for himself and be able to leave the girl without feeling bad.

So I approach every girl as if I already know she's a whore basically. I just flirt and try to pick her up. I am blessed with being attractive and I work out seriously to keep my appearance top notch. I also put on the appearance of being wealthy (which I am not) by wearing suits and driving an expensive car.

SensitiveGangster95 karma

How do you catch them? What are these resources you speak of?


I am much more "hands on" than my female co-worker counterparts.. One reason being that I am very experienced in this, another being that it's just safer for a man than a woman in this type of job.. This allows me to approach them in person as well as online.

In person I will go to the bar or restaurant that the man tells me she frequents.. Online I will use Facebook or Twitter usually, then transition to email and texts.

By "resources" I mostly mean when I work in person. In person jobs come from local PI companies and pay more for more risk. I work with ThrowawayFlirt for an online based company though.

Some high paying local PI jobs will give me really nice cars to drive and suits to wear.. It's so much easier to seduce a gold digging whore when you look rich!

SickWilly85 karma

Thank you so much for doing this AMA. Wall of questions to follow:

How often do you get flat out rejected? Any heart warming stories?

Do people really just add random (good looking) people to their FB accounts? Or do you sometimes have to friend some of their friends so you have more mutual friends before they trust.

What happens if you can't start a conversation via social media sites?

Do you use your own picture on your facebook account? Do you use aliases? If so, how do you come up with alias names, because character name creation is always difficult for me. Maybe your process can help my video game habit. Also, how in depth do you develop your 'character?' You probably do a fake job, but do you ever need to set up a quick fake company/office?

I think if I had your job I'd spend 90% of my time making fake lives for myself. I wouldn't be very productive.


1 out of 4 women will straight up reject me.. It gives me some hope for faithful women!

Some women will just add you no questions asked.. Others will want to know how you found them or why you requested them.

In most of my BMM cases, I pretty much have to have some form of social media outlet. FB, Twitter, even a dating site profile sometimes. But if it's a local PI client then I hit the streets and do it in person.

I do everything as myself. Many in my profession do not, especially the women have to hide more. I just don't care.

McLovin80448 karma

Have you ever been on cheaters? And if not, if you were ever asked to appear on the show would you?


I don't think I would be on that show. It would make it harder to do my job. Targets might recognize me and think they were being set up for TV.