College kids, don't give me baking soda and water. All I will do is tell you how to make crack.

UPDATE Wow, thank you all for commenting and asking questions. I am trying my darndest to keep up. Please feel free to pitch in guys, I am in the friggin weeds here.

UPDATE 2 Hey guys. This has really grown. I promise to get to some more questions when I get home tonight. I am currently at work getting ready for a wine tasting tomorrow. :)

UPDATE3 Home from work and now an article has been written about this whole thing in the dailydot A wonderful redditor has created a subreddit r/whatsinmycupboard which is thriving and was why the guy wrote the article. I am settled and about to tackle some questions. 5:30 pm eastern standard time.

Comments: 1738 • Responses: 45  • Date: 

Schelome395 karma

This is now my favourite AMA ever.

I am visiting my parents at the moment, so I do not have a list, or I would totally be down for some orders.

Bonus points to people that report back with pictures!

ghostbackwards206 karma

Pictures. That would be aces. To the top people, please.

iShavedMyFaceForThis90 karma

For some reason, you remind me of Mary Poppins.

ghostbackwards79 karma

do explain, please? :)

devilsadvocado323 karma

Short sentences. Quick, no-nonsense orders. Stiffly courteous. Wonderful, odorless, vacuous vagina.

ghostbackwards118 karma

Why thank you. Those first few things are what my girlfriend doesn't like about me. ;)

Stang1776343 karma

I have 2 bananas, 3 scoops of ice cream, some chocolate syrup and a slutty wife.

ghostbackwards475 karma

if you were to have a phone number what would it consist of?

Moon-Base295 karma

Would you be willing to operate and manage a restaurant on the Moon?

ghostbackwards252 karma

fuck yes.

Hamsterdam284 karma

Here is an image of what I have available. I am especially interested in dumplings, soups and appetizers or ideas for what to do with the squid and frozen mussels. I also have a 9.5lb pork tenderloin, that I would like suggestions on.

ghostbackwards432 karma

Did you really just make this picture?

Hamsterdam165 karma

Nah, it was on my computer from a "looking for suggestions" post to r/cooking or r/food a few weeks back. I have all of those things in my kitchen though. I keep a pretty well stocked pantry. I love cooking, but I am always looking for new ideas so I don't get stuck in a rut. I'm making apple butter right now and after looking at this picture I'm seriously considering adding a few of the ginger candies to the pot.

edit: So, do you have any suggestions?

ghostbackwards114 karma

This list I would love to work with. No green curry? Haha. Have you worked much with thai curry soups? lemon grass, bok choy, tomatoes, ginger, chilis, peanuts, chicken? I am sorry but I am so so so tired. This post really blew up and I have been typing for a straight hour now I think. It is bed time for me but I promise I will get back to you tomorrow, okay? :)

KajiKaji222 karma

I have some pancake mix, cream of mushroom soup, a can of Treet and an old package of strawberry Oreos.

ghostbackwards1059 karma

get drunk and drink the pancake mix.

napoleon1876108 karma

what the hell do I make with a parsnip. Bought them once thinking it would be adventurous. Don't even get what it is.

ghostbackwards154 karma

go and buy a pear. cook both in some butter and heavy cream. puree it. taste that greatness.

also add it to a stew. I eat parsnips for snacks.

Schelome46 karma

I, not being a chef, would like to add that it is great in bolognese, just roasted in the oven with a bit of olive oil, or glazed with honey.

I usually buy a few since they last long, are cheap and adds both flavour and volume to stews.

ghostbackwards52 karma

Roots are so versatile. I love them.

mambouli52 karma

My friend who's MaitreD at this great restaurant in Montreal would always love to quizz customers over what they thought went in the parsnip puree. People (myself included) would say things like "White chocolate", "Cinnamon" "maple syrup".

Nope.. Just parsnip and butter, pureed.

ghostbackwards29 karma

yep, it's that simple. A seared scallop on top aint too shabby either.

Milieunairess12 karma


ghostbackwards41 karma

Oh yes. They have a faint sweet taste along with the dirt.

HighFiveOhYeah5 karma

I'd think the tasting like dirt part would override the faint sweetness of it, no?

ghostbackwards19 karma

kidding. i mean earthy.

[deleted]79 karma

My neighbor gave me a vennison steak, about a pound maybe. He gave us some ground meat from the same deer previously, and the gamey taste was very strong. Is there anything worthwhile I can do with this steak to tone the flavor down a little?

ghostbackwards181 karma

Yes. Stew it. I personally don't care for venison. I know people do but I don't.

Take that steak and cube it. Rub it with flour. Get a pan smoking hot with oil and sear it. Then, throw in any veggies you have. Root veggies are perfect (parsnips, onions, potatoes, celeriac, carrots etc... Once mixed together hit it with some beer or wine and chicken stock. Cover the pan with some more water and put in an oven at 275 for about 4 hours. If you have any fresh tyhme or rosemary add that shit, too. Of course, don't forget the salt and pepper.

[deleted]46 karma

Ok, that sounds plausible, thanks.

ghostbackwards75 karma

oh, be sure to cover it with foil very tight.

[deleted]27 karma

Will do. I guess the only thing is that it has very little fat or connective tissue. I picture it coming out of this pretty tough. But it's probably the best bet.

ghostbackwards97 karma

stewing it (slowly cooking for a length of time) makes it melt. believe me.

greensilk22 karma

What is the flour for in this?

ghostbackwards50 karma

A thickener.

greensilk12 karma

Thanks! So it's more to make a gravy-like sauce than to improve the steak in any way?

barksatthemoon32 karma

Yes. If you don't have flour, you could thicken it with potatoes or corn starch, instead. OP is correct, the meat will be tender as long as you cook it as advised. If you don't have any thickeners, you can throw in some noodles, rice or barley & make soup. Sorry, didn't mean to butt in OP.

ghostbackwards28 karma


Fletch7101177 karma

Spaghettios, frozen chicken nuggets, pizza rolls, mac n cheese, spaghetti, ranch dressing, granola bars. I'm not in college, honest.

ghostbackwards126 karma

That sounds like a great days worth of food. No need to change it.

PlumbingSauce61 karma

Ground beef, pasta, no sauce, a lot of seasonings, nuts, tomatoes, tomato paste, beans, cheese, green chili, bread, flour, sugar, Parmesan, butter, yogurt, pickles, lettuce, bean dip, chips, rice, some marinade and Worcester. Go!

ghostbackwards123 karma

sear that ground beef and brown it, dark. large chop your tomatoes and add. once kind of dry hit it with some of that wine you are drinking. slop a dab of tomato paste in it and simmer. meanwhile boil some water.

Make a great dip with your beans, cheese and green chilis. saute the chilis and add the beans a bit of tomato pate and puree. layer that with the cheese and rice. if you have cumin or coriander add thatr shit dude.

when that water boils cook your pasta. serve with the meat sauce and top with your parm. also, hit with a chink of butter at the end.

[deleted]38 karma

This is everything in my house. You can probably make tastier and healthier meals than I. :)

Bread flour

All-purpose enriched(non-bleached)


Baking soda

Baking flour

Ground cinnamon

Ground ginger

Ground nutmeg



2% milk

Skim milk

Vegetable oil

Vanilla extract

White rice


Betty Crocker cornbread and muffin mix

Brown sugar

Granulated sugar

Frozen peas

Salted and unsalted butter

Ground beef

Mac & Cheese (endless supply)

Ramen noodles (endless supply)

Lean grass fed beef and rendered fat from same beef

Endless booze

EDIT: I like food. I thought you should know that.

ghostbackwards45 karma

How about you feed me some of that booze. I will do what I can with the grass fed beef and I will guide you along to making some awesome cookies. You seem to like to bake. :)

smalldrop31 karma

I'm usually pretty good at thinking up things to cook but right now I'm down to the dregs of my supplies. For budgetary reasons I'm determined to make what I've got last a few more days but all I can think of to do is stirfrys. Can you think anything up for: olive oil, brown rice, garlic, butternut squash, veggie broth, seitan, black beans, chickpeas, lentils, bread, and fully stocked baking supplies? (Also, in the pantry: maple syrup, brown mustard, sriracha, molasses, apple cider vinegar, soy sauce, balsamic, liquid smoke.)

ghostbackwards53 karma

perfect. roast the squash, set aside. sear the fuck out of that seitan after marinating it in molasses. mix the squash, seitan, black beans, chick peas, lentils and veggie stock in a 1/2 hotel pan. 1/2 cover with water, add some salt and pepper and cook covered for 30 min at 350 covered. pull out and check the lentils. once done add a bit of sugar and serve with some toasted bread.

upvote_for_dissent135 karma

sear the fuck out of that seitan after marinating it in molasses

Afterwards, soak your skillet for 2000 hours before scrubbing.

Former dishwasher here.

ghostbackwards43 karma

hahaha, i once was in your shoes.

smalldrop19 karma

that sounds delicious but you lost me at "hotel pan"

ghostbackwards32 karma

Sorry. A pan with raised sides. For you just grab a brownie pan if you don't have much.

smalldrop14 karma

Awesome. This is dinner tomorrow night. THANK YOU!

ghostbackwards27 karma

please let me know if it works. feel free to message me with any questions along the way.

whygook29 karma

Okay, challenge accepted. Warning, I live in Korea.

I have about 1/4 lbs block of "smoked" "Ham" (more like Spam, but less fatty. Think super lean Spam) Soy sauce, chili paste, Mayo, ranch, frozen garlic cloves, frozen green onion chopped, chocolate cake, tiny fish in a honey sauce, lotus root in a soy sauce/corn syrup muxture, assorted pickled mountain Ferns, a package of 6 saltine crackers, 1L of OJ, chili flake, salt, some butter cookies, and a bag of fried tofu snacks.

Also my water is not potable and I have less than half a Liter left. I have no oven. I cook on a portable gas camping stove. I have maybe 45 minutes of gas left if left on high. I have about 2 cups if vegetable oil left. also instant coffee mix in individual packages, cocoa, and corn tea. I have maybe a half dozen ice cubes.

20 kilos of rice and a rice cooker.

I just got back from a 3 week vacation. Good luck.

ghostbackwards35 karma

My favorite part of this is the "good luck part". You are going to hate me for this but here is my thought and it will save you your gas and water. Make an mixture of mayo, soy sauce and chili paste...add a drop of the oj. chop the fuck out of the ham. mix it with the mayo and spread on top of the saltines topped with the frozen green onion? this is a pretty good challenge. I have a question. What do you usually do with the ferns and lotus root? Would the lotus root go with the fish at all?

whygook8 karma

They are all side dishes.

The lotus root tastes like a really starchy potato. It is cut so that all the holes are open and it looks pretty. It has been preserved in the sauce.

The fish are small. Like filtering whale small. Think brine shrimp size. Maybe Max 1 cm in length.

The fern is just pickled vegetable. It has a strong earthy taste and a strong soy sauce salt type of taste. UNAMI+MSG.

By the way, I am going shopping tonight, but I thought I would try you out. Also... should I cook this Ham first?

ghostbackwards14 karma

No, ham is cooked/smoked/cured. No need to cook it.

gnugnus28 karma

whats your favorite chicken cutlet dinner (boneless chicken breast)? easy easy pleasey. :) my hubby is getting sick of the same'ol same'ol. :)

ghostbackwards81 karma

DEEEEEP FRIED over some spicey slaw.

easy way is rub your breasts in some eggs that are mixed with hot sauce. then dredge in flour that has some cajun seasoning. fry in oil at 375 for about 4 minutes.

your slaw should include two types of cabbage, scallions, cilantro, red peppers, cider vinegar, sugar, salt, pepper and OJ.

outlyre25 karma

A box of bisquick, chai powder, canned pinapple, boxed stovetop pudding, apples, bris cheese, stale bagels, vanilla tea, and oatmeal. Need to somehow make yummy dessert...

ghostbackwards85 karma

Dude. Chai oatmeal pancakes. Then caramelize some sliced apples and top them pancakes. I know you are going for dessert but damnthat sounds good. New idea for me, thank you. For dessert all I am seeing is chai pudding. Pardon, I don't have much of a sweet tooth.

expedient23 karma

I have about 4 lb. of pork shoulder I cooked in the crock pot. I was thinking carnitas, do you have any suggestions?

ghostbackwards25 karma

Damn, that makes me salivate. Is it pulled yet or still in the big chunk?

expedient10 karma

It's mostly one big piece. I also have some of the liquid reserved.

ghostbackwards22 karma

get some butternut squash, onions, canned tomatoes, pinenuts, currants, chickpeas, honey and cayenne. stew them and some large chunks of your pork butt. yes, cook it in some of your liquid. has the liquid cooled yet? if so, skim the fat off the top and chcuk.

leafsleafs1719 karma

I only have a box of Sugar Crisp cereal and some milk. wat do?

ghostbackwards78 karma

keep drinking.

maviddo15 karma

i have top ramen, rice, some beef, milk, oatmeal, milk, halibut. whats for dinner?

ghostbackwards36 karma

what cut of beef?

also. I love how you mentioned milk twice. I drink milk 3 times a day...sometimes 10.

gerre11 karma

mock duck, refried beens, frozen bell peeper stripes, pancake mix, veggie patties, sugar, frozen peas, tomato sauce, can of clam chowder, most spices

ghostbackwards11 karma

I would first go buy some potatoes. Make some mashers out of them and make a shepherds pie out of the veggie patties (ground up) mock duck, frozen peas, peppers and a little bit of the tomato sauce. You have cinnamon?

[deleted]10 karma

Ground beef, rice, prepackaged ramen, Italian pasta, tomato sauce, Chinese noodles, rice noodles, oyster sauce, soy sauce, pickled hot peppers, Jufran banana hot sauce, broccoli, carrots, onions, garlic, cabbage.

Edit: or heck just tell me what to do with banana hot sauce.

ghostbackwards13 karma

any mayo in the fridge?

ghostbackwards19 karma

shred the carrots and cabbage and mix with some of the broccoli (chopped) mix with a drop of soy sauce, sugar (which I hope you have) and the hot sauce. that would make a good salad.

what flavor ramen you have?

if you get some cream and butter you can make a bologense, grind up the onions, carrots and garlic. set aside. brown the ground beef. add the veggie mix. add tomato sauce and cook down on low heat for about 3 hours. finish with cream, butter and some nutmeg if you have it. salt pepper and sugar are a given, right?

why1time7 karma

I cooked lamb to use in a stew, it smelled too lamb-y so I didn't use it. Its now cooked (with some tomato paste, onion, spice) and I don't know what to do with the meat. I can't eat it alone, so I have to put it in something where it will lose some of the taste. I was thinking something along the lines of an enchilada but obviously something that would go with lamb. Any ideas?

ghostbackwards21 karma

Ummm...You have the beginnings of a classic shepherds pie. Do you have a food processor to grind up the lamb you have? You can flavor the pie with plenty of things. get some corn and peas and any roots you can find. roast and mix with your lamb/tomato mix. top with mashed pots and your favorite cheese. use some paprika. that will mask the lamb taste.

euphoric_barley6 karma

Swanson chicken broth, red cabbage (in a jar) green beans, canned corn, shit loads of hot sauce, canned pickled beets, garbonzos, beef top ramen, frozen meatballs, precooked chicken nuggets, eggs, lots of mustards, mayo, squash, snap peas. Oh! Breakfast sausage. Various spices and seasonings.

Also, this AMA is rad and you're rad.

ghostbackwards8 karma

I am all over your green beans, corn, squash, beets, garbanzos, snap peas and red cabbage. If you have some sugar, salt, pepper, red wine vinegar and oil that would be a great cold salad. :) Breakfast sausage and corn (roast it in oven first) would be a tast egg scramble. Not sure what you have in your spice cabinet but cumin would go well.

lakehuron6 karma

No oven.

I have:

Sliced white bread, an onion, garlic, ginger, cream cheese, udon noodles, pasta, assorted curry pastes, rice, sweet chili sauce, tabasco, frozen pork tenderloin, miso paste, pancake mix, couscous, canned red kidney beans, instant oatmeal

ghostbackwards11 karma

thaw the pork loin. slice thin. make a ginger cream cheese. put between the bread. when you say no oven do you also mean no stove top?

majorpenalty6 karma

I have eggs, a red onion, a green pepper, a block of sharp cheddar cheese, kosher salt, a pepper grinder, hot paprika, fresh thyme, jalapeno salsa, long grain white rice, oyster sauce, chili oil, sesame oil and a small amount of fresh green beans. I have no steamer and no wok.

Hit me.

ghostbackwards16 karma

Sounds like a frittata. Saute your veggies. Oil bottom of pan and get really hot. drop your scrambled up eggs with a bit of cream hopefully. turn off heat. add your veggies, cheese, and salsa. Then pop in a low temp oven for about 20 minutes, depending...

On the other hand it sounds like you have quite the fried rice ingredients going on. Have you made it before? Cook your rice. Get a pan going with some chili and sesame oil. Saute your veggies, addd your rice and then slowly pour in your beaten eggs. finsih with some oyster sauce.

You can use any kind of pan for this to get it down.

RoxieAmmo6 karma

What are some interesting ways to flavor basmati rice?

ghostbackwards14 karma

saffron, coriander and lemon.

1stworldanalrapist5 karma

I'm sick of scrambled eggs with veggies. Any ideas to liven up my eggs for breakfast?

ghostbackwards28 karma

Honestly I am an egg snot. I can cook those things in every way possible and I only eat them one way. I spent some serious time cooking brunch at some really busy, hip city joints. If you have a good pan I recommend learning how to perfect an over medium locally grown egg with a great piece of toasted thick crunchy bread (ciabatta and the like). There is nothing more decadent, seriously.

fln5 karma

how do you flip the egg? i always mess it up

ghostbackwards19 karma

push forward and pull back while lifting the front end in between.

1stworldanalrapist4 karma

over medium?

Jaymie137 karma

I would assume somewhere between over easy and over hard <_<.

ghostbackwards10 karma

and I swear wherever I go no one can make them correctly. Seriously, it's the only thing I am a snot about with food. I never order eggs when I am out.

baconroses5 karma

Tofu, rocket, cabbage, pepper salami, garlic cheese and leftover green curry, pasta, parmesan, tomato paste, no meat, eggs, baby asparagus.


ghostbackwards13 karma

did you mean to say you have NO meat, eggs or baby asparagus?