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IAmA guy that hasn't pooped in the month of August yet. Part deuce with pictures enclosed. AmA
Original thread here: http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/jo5at/iama_guy_that_hasnt_pooped_in_the_month_of_august/
First and foremost I would like to thank the community of Reddit for talking me into going to the hospital and getting the cork out of me. There are a few milestones in life, but finally ridding myself of weeks of shit was a glorious personal achievement.
The immediate relief after releasing what sounded like Voldemort being killed was orgasmic.
The response was overwhelming. Last night was I guess as easy as it could have gone despite having to go the hospital. Although that wretched concoction I drank was inside of me through out the night, I believe that this morning it assisted in unleashing the Kraken.
It was a battle but your OP fought the good fight. It was mostly liquid that came out, and despite the courtesy flushes I did manage to snag some pictures of... a collection. The weight being 1.72 pounds doesn't sound as impressive as of what you might of being hoping for, but I can assure you over 2 lbs were liquid and unable to be retrieved. I expect to have to make visits to the bathroom throughout the rest of the day.
I hope you can appreciate the process of what it was like, fishing for my shit in a toilet and putting it into a bowl and weighing it. I threw up in my mouth and lost my appetite for the day. I did it for you, Reddit. You had a hand in this.
I am actually have a celebratory post-passing of the feces party tonight and I will attach a video of the turd hanging out with us.
I'll be around for about an hour or so but I suspect the girlfriend will make me get off the computer for some rest. Feel free to Ask me Anything about the process.
Warning: It's pictures of poop in a bowl.
EDIT: I think I'm getting pretty tired and I'm going to take a break for a while. I'm gonna take (another) shower and knock out for a few. Thanks again for your continued support Reddit! Check back later on this evening and I'll have a special treat for you!
nopooshallpass224 karma
haha, we're 9 years into a relationship. I think she agrees. I have cold feet
RageoftheMonkey1141 karma
Thousands of Redditors just breathed sighs of relief while unclenching their bowels.
nopooshallpass396 karma
Hey your advice was one of the comments that hit home with me. Thanks for the help, doc!!!
qwerter687 karma
I'm glad you didn't die. I don't think I've ever been this worried/entertained about a complete stranger.
nopooshallpass361 karma
I appreciate it, Ill try to further the entertainment when the crew gets over here and helps me celebrate. I haven't drank in awhile bc of the stomach pain, so i am letting loose - no pun intended
Quarkity384 karma
Man, you have no idea, I have been waiting for this moment all weekend. I even texted my boyfriend last night when you went into the hospital, "The Reddit poop guy hasn't responded in 6 hours, I'm worried!" We fretted, we stressed, we sincerely hoped you were okay and felt kinship for a fellow warrior of the porcelain gods.
Finally, we can get on with our lives, now we now the poop man is okay. Whew.
What will you do if this happens again?
aaronin209 karma
My wife and I were talking about this over brunch. She was relieved (no pun intended) when I could tell her that I saw the final update you posted about being de-impacted.
Know that your saga transcended reddit into many of our very real non-internet lives.
[deleted]263 karma
Hey man, I'm the one that gave you reddit gold. Thought you put up with enough shit for one day and deserved some relief. Happy Redditing.
nopooshallpass36 karma
It was the first time in a while I was able to relax and let nature do it's thing. Pity I almost forgot what that feels like.
lutheranian151 karma
Feel better? I also must say I was expecting a poop that took up an entire toilet bowl. I'm a little disappointed, but you slew the dragon of constipation and then shat all over it. Bravo.
[deleted]102 karma
His liquid shit probably took up the entire bowl multiple times. GoLYTELY is not a fun experience ever :(
Elflocke95 karma
How has your girlfriend been handling this situation? You owe her a new scale, that is defiantly poop outside the bowl in the second picture. If she can still make eye contact it's time to Beyonce up. Thank you for documenting this and surviving, it has been a rollercoaster two days.
nopooshallpass67 karma
hah, as you can see, she made me take her picture down from the previous post. But she is happy to see I am feeling better
Yougotredditonyou18 karma
I do not know you, but I have massive relief for you. Now... was it a boy or a girl?
thePowerW1324 karma
I just yelled out to my girlfriend who is in the kitchen, "Hey the dude pooped!" She seriously just yelled back "Oh good, are there pictures?" Never did I think this would seriously be a conversation we would have together, not to mention yell across the apartment. We're glad to hear you are doing better.
ps. she gagged a little at the photo. Well done sir.
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