I've seen a lot of theories and trash talk about me and my people so I wanna answer any questions you guys have.


Comments: 290 • Responses: 41  • Date: 

Cameron_Sosa82 karma

When someone marks "Fragile" on a box, do you guys just take it as a challenge or what?

abscissa081114 karma

I treat them all the same. I don't get paid extra to handle something that says fragile.

Also people assume the driver is the bad guy for breaking stuff. 99% I'd bet on the warehouse staff causing the problems

MisogynysticFeminist159 karma

Warehouse staff here. It was like that when it got to me. Honest.

abscissa08146 karma

After working preload and whatnot I'm surprised most people's stuff isn't broken lol.

Not hating on you guys, that stuff sucks in there man. Been there, them trucks ain't unloading themselves.

Dr_punchy10 karma

When you come across a damaged throughout your day and take it back to the building do you sheet it as a missed delivery or as a damage?

abscissa0818 karma

I take it you are a driver? If I think something is truly damaged, I sheet it damaged. You can't always know though.

Grinmaul69 karma

Why do you sneak up and leave a "sorry we missed you" note on my door when i have been waiting all day and never left the house?

abscissa081111 karma

Because you didn't answer the door.

Grinmaul14 karma

I would try knocking on the door myself throughout the day, still made a noise, also tried ringing the doorbell many times, maybe i broke it, then it fixed itself when i tried it again later :)

abscissa08132 karma

Well, since you think we're out to make your life hard, have it delivered to a UPS store or your work.

Do you live in an apartment?

Grinmaul18 karma

it was a house at the time, it happened a bunch when i was working from home, now i get everything shipped to the office, so packages show up after hours:)

I don't think you are out to make my life hard, i think that a lot of drivers like to make their life easier, by not waiting for some wanker to answer the door, i don't know man, i waited for packages that never came, and when i look out the door i see that damn notice.

abscissa08145 karma

I would say out of 200 packages for houses, only 1 require a signature on average. So I don't know what the problem is. Everything else is driver released, meaning I leave it on your porch.

But sometimes I wait until you get up to pee.

jackdaw_t_robot64 karma

Would you rather deliver one horse-sized package or 100 packages the size of a duck?

abscissa08158 karma

one horse sized package for sure

stugots49 karma

Ever have sex with a customer on your delivery route?

abscissa081114 karma

I never kiss and tell.


AttaCephalotes45 karma

Did the show the King of Queens accurately describe your job?

abscissa08135 karma

Not really. He was never in a hurry. But to be fair, I've never watched the show besides a few episodes here and there.

vag-rash44 karma

Why do you put "package undeliverable-fence locked" when I don't even have a fence?

UseURPlate2LoseTheW816 karma

I feel like that would've been hysterical to read the first time you had that error.

vag-rash10 karma

Oh I've had better ones than that from these idiot UPS drivers. They once claimed my address didn't exist then sent a post card to said non-existent a address for me to come pick my package up from the depo. I know what the problem is. The driver is lazy and I'm out of the way. I will pay extra for FedEx. They actually do what I pay them to do.

abscissa08132 karma

Hey I'm sorry that has happened to you. I would complain and escalate the problem past the local center. Almost every driver I know is very proud of what they do. It's not the most glamorous, but we know what is expected of us and enjoy our jobs. So having a bad apple just sucks for everyone.

AgentJin40 karma

I've heard from Reddit that UPS drivers are actually paid well. How true is this?

abscissa08154 karma


perfectlycrispy17 karma

I hear that UPS drivers get discounts from a lot of places they deliver to. Is this true?

abscissa08137 karma

It's encouraged you be super friendly and build relationships with the customers. I usually get free stuff wherever I go. Wendy's, 7/11, but there are no official perks

HarmlessKitten33 karma

What would you do in the event someone tried to steal your van?

abscissa08191 karma

You let them have it.

sjchoking26 karma

What do you do when you cross paths with a FedEx truck?

abscissa081120 karma

Drag race every time

Dylan893224 karma

Do you get lost ever?

abscissa08128 karma

Nah, it only sucks if I'm running country stuff opposed to neighborhoods or tight business areas and my phone dies. And it's dark. Then you get sad because it'll be a loooooong day

ReptarMyNigga23 karma

How is the competition between you and FedEx or other companies? Do you feel satisfied at your job or ever consider switching sides?

abscissa08148 karma

I haven't had any bad experiences with FedEx employees. We usually wave to each other. I see it just like anywhere else. McDonalds employees don't hate Wendys. I love my job, and I wouldn't switch. UPS has a lot stricter policy on how we act and what we do, I think it's for better.

yayimahuman12322 karma

For the packages that require a signature or someone to answer the door, what's the approximate ratio of successful deliveries to unsuccessful (i.e. leaving a note that says "we missed you")?

abscissa08135 karma

Typically people are at work, so I'd say like 25% of the time it gets delivered.

CrypticParrot21 karma

What can brown do for me?

abscissa08183 karma

Prolly ship something idk what you need

Zan_H21 karma

What are your thoughts on oatmeal cookies?

abscissa08157 karma

Chocolate chip or bust

cantthinkofaname18 karma

A driver (different company) forged my signature on a delivery (that required a signature), and left it outside. Is that a common thing, or is he way out of line?

I imagine there is a lot of pressure from above this time of year to make deliveries, which is fair enough, but not knocking (when I'm home) and forging a signature is a bit over the top

abscissa08119 karma

As the other commenter said, UPS handles this very seriously. I have personally seen drivers lose their jobs and be charged for this. And usually the situation was harmless like they know the guy for 10 years so any other time he would be fine with it,but the package just so happened to be stolen so now there's a problem.

Im_Negan16 karma

Ballpark, what is your paycheck like? I hear driving for UPS is a high demand job because of how well it pays. Having being in the beverage distribution business, many drivers have left to join UPS.

abscissa08146 karma

After 4 years hitting cap pay you'll be right at 6 figures. Benefits are all paid for as well.

SoundBearier14 karma

How often do you make left turns?

abscissa08157 karma

3 rights make a left

Mushybananas2714 karma

Do UPS drivers ever steal packages? I've heard stories of drivers stealing certain things and marking them as "delivered" to the buyer. One case specifically was over a pair of yeezys (a popular shoe that resells for around 600-800 dollars) and the ups driver marked the package as delivered but apparently drove off with them.

My question specifically is, have you ever witnessed/heard of another driver stealing packages or someone claiming you/another driver stole packages?

abscissa08140 karma

Not that I have known. I'm sure it's happened. Nothing I'm delivering is worth losing my job security, my salary and benefits over.

Most things I have no idea what they are anyways. Normally just brown boxes you know?

SheZowRaisedByWolves11 karma

Have you ever accidentally run over an animal while on the job? If so, how did you feel or react?

abscissa08142 karma

I haven't, luckily. Hitting a pet is a punishable offense. I would feel destroyed mentally. I love my doggos

69sucka6 karma

If I'm not home at 3pm at the first delivery attempt, why do you insist on redelivering at the same time the following day?

abscissa08128 karma

My route is the same every day so it's a good chance I'll be in the same area the next day at the same time.

Have it delivered to your work or to a UPS store, that's my best advice for you.

Levo-Films6 karma

How often do you mess up your addresses?

abscissa08115 karma

Not too often. Normally, especially in the peak busy times, if I had like 4 houses that I would do in one stop. I might sit the piece for house 22 on 24 or something.

9/10 I catch it before I leave that area, because I notice on the next box that something is wrong. The other 1/10 the customer will usually just take it to their neighbor, but not always.

Levo-Films2 karma

Thanks! Asked because we had three incidents over Christmas!

abscissa08118 karma

It happens man. Especially in the heavy residential areas. Having to get rid of 500 boxes in a day, when you left the building late already is stressful. Then its dark at 5 and you're out til 9:30. It sucks. Best you can do for us is just take it to your neighbor. We'll come get it and make it right if you can't.

veterinarios6 karma

Did you find anything from the Reddit gift exchange?

abscissa08115 karma

I don't get to open the boxes on my truck anymore so I don't know if I did.

IronBaguette6 karma

What do you mean anymore? You used to be able to open anything you want!?

abscissa0813 karma

a joke that I usually use when people dumbly ask me what it is when I bring them a box. Or that I forgot my tape so I couldn't look. They're all just boxes

JutNob5 karma

What kind of pressure does the company put on the drivers in regards to time spent delivering packages?

Are drivers encouraged to speed?

What are the consequences of speeding tickets?

abscissa08118 karma

We have a preset time that our days work is equated to. It doesn't really matter if you do better or worse as long as you aren't hours over. Safety is the number one concern, the speed is second.

No, never encouraged.

Manual_Man4 karma

UPS delivery guys do a great job - I appreciate it. Does your truck start automatically when you put your foot on the gas like a gas golf cart or do you have to turn the key each start/stop?

abscissa0818 karma

There's a push to start button on the dash, push once to accessory and then again to start. Same button cuts it off and opens the door. Have to have the keyfob that we have too.

TerpBE4 karma

I was a seasonal driver's helper briefly. Is it common for drivers not near a public restroom to poop into a plastic rain bag in the back of the truck, then leave it the next customer trashcan they find? Or did I just have a particularly bad driver?

abscissa08113 karma

Gotta do what you gotta do. I have pretty good body chemistry I'd say so I get that done in the morning, but I've peed in many a cup and bottles

felixk24 karma

I used to work in IT at UPS and was asked during the holiday season to take week to be a helper for a driver. I got there on Monday morning and the driver stormed out yelling "I don't need any help." What's the deal wouldn't you want someone to help you out during the holiday peak time?!

abscissa0819 karma

I went through two helpers this peak. The third I didn't care for either. You're there to help me, I'm not training you. So if you aren't doing things the way I want, quickly, then I'm getting rid of you.

omnitash4 karma

I was thinking about a package handler ama a few days ago!

When I worked in fast food most if not every package handler that came to drop off supplies was a well built 6ft+ tall

My question is how tall / fit are you? What does your diet look like? How do you manage to move heavy boxes around all day?

I've always been small and cant seem to gain weight so i thought you might be able to help me out with some of your life experience.

Thanks a bunch XD.

abscissa08113 karma

I'm about 5'11" pretty skinny. Barely 150lbs on a good day. We have some small dudes on the team, as well as some women (if you are worried about lifting weight, since typically women aren't as strong as men) who do the job perfectly fine. My diet sucks ass because I don't eat all day and if I do I snack. You have to be able to handle a 150 pound package, and it does happen. You just wrestle them around til it's there. But if you really need help they tell you to ask the customer or ask before you leave the building so they can have someone meet you to help.

The hand cart is your friend too.

_Anon_E_Moose3 karma

Is there a company policy against smoking in your vehicle? My packages show up smelly and it pisses me off.

abscissa08114 karma

I'm really not sure, I hate when I get a different truck and someone has smoked in it. So I feel your pain, and I apologize for it.

mulder-itsme2 karma

How long do you wait after ringing a doorbell before coming to the conclusion that the customer is not at home and then leave?

abscissa08110 karma

What the other guy said it's what I do. If I see no cars around the house that's a good indication. I know it's not fullproof but if there are cars or I expect kids to be home from school I will stay a tad bit longer, but not very long. I see people say we are too fast. It takes me like 10 seconds to get to my door from anywhere in my house. If you can't open your door by then, I can't help you. I have a job I need to get done. If I learn it's an elderly person with walking issues, I'll wait longer

Another tip is that if you happen to just miss us, get in your car, I'm probably right up the street.

JesusSavesAtWalMart1 karma

My UPS guy is deathly afraid of dogs. One time he was in the driveway, which he backs down because it's super long and narrow, and I was out back with the dogs, and he left with my package because he heard us out back. The tracking info showed that he tried to deliver but no one was home, which is total bullshit since no sig was required and he didn't even ring the fucking doorbell. That's not the only incident, but it was the most annoying.

We go out of our way now to make sure the dogs don't freak him out when he comes, but if he pulls that shit again what can I do in terms of speaking to his superior?

abscissa0813 karma

We are allowed to sheet anything as a non delivery due to a dog if we want. Ups doesn't want us to get bit. Everyone says the same thing "oh he doesn't bite!" No he doesn't bite the people he knows and feed him.

dhekurbaba1 karma

one thing that always bugged me, is the openness of the driver's seat... when it's cold and/or raining, how do you not get catch a cold?

abscissa0813 karma

You can shut the doors, but it's a pain to open every stop. You just deal with it. Part of the job

Jurome1 karma

Do you guys deliver to adresses alphabetically? Or the ones nearest to you?

abscissa0813 karma

We have a predetermined route that is based on geographic order. Knowledge of the area allows you to do it in a way you feel better

vanderjam1 karma

Do you judge people who come answer their door for a package at 3pm or later clearly just having woken up and still dazed from having their sleep disturbed? I'm a student and I'm pretty sure my mailman either feels sorry for me or really judges me

Not that I care too much but just curious thanks!

abscissa0816 karma

I might think look at this guy just at home all day but then I wish I was too. Or that you work nights or whatever.

D1V5H4L-4 karma

I read on some reddit, regarding pc hardware and other stuff and how badly it gets handled by UPS. Even a former UPS staff backed it up. Also, a UPS guy stole some valuable but got scared when the sender started raising serious questions with him. Care to share some info?

abscissa0818 karma

Not sure what you're asking.