I am Ahmed Malik. 20 years ago, when I was 3, a a man attacked me with a machete at a teddy bear's picnic. AMA!

teddy bear's picnic

taster day

What? And what?

These are both UK terms

Taster day is just an event day for prospective students or parents to visit.

Teddy bear pinic are usually held in correlation to major fundrasing, so buy a ticket to contribute to cause, bring your bear and eat food.

It's also a famous song, teddy bear pinic.

Edit:
A few further facts about the teddy bear picnic

1.John W.Bratton wrote the song in 1907 for US.

1. Most popular version in 1930s by Jimmy Kennedy, an irish songwriter

3.The fundraising associated is usually for a cause outside the school not directly funds for the school.

4.They are prominent it seems besides the UK but seen in Scotland, Canada and US

What this guy said

When I was 3 a peacock attacked me when I wouldn't give it my sandwich. Wanna grab a beer and talk about our incredibly similar experiences?

You were right to not give it your sandwich. Fuck that peacock

You were so young when it happened. Do you have any memories of the attack?

Do you suffer from nightmares or other emotional trauma still? Did you ever?

Sorry this happened to 3 year old you.

I don't remember a whole lot, just little snippets, like being in an ambulance, my dad seeing me in hospital and cameras around my hospital bed. Its mostly the aftermath I remember, like the media coming to my house, my parents being on TV, going to TV studios and events and meeting reporters and celebrities. I'm told I used to have nightmares when I was younger but they must have stopped when I was still little because I don't remember having them.

What celebrities did you meet?

I can't remember most of them, but I did meet Mysitc Meg, a horoscope type lady for a newspaper, I met Tony and Cheri Blair, and David Hosselhoff.

I glad your ok but did the teddy bear make it?

Unfortunately Sir Fuzzington did not pull through. May he rest in peace.

How many scar bragging contests have you won during your life so far?

I know, asking the relevant questions

More than you'd think, but less than you'd hope

Did you die? If not, good. You look like a cool dude.

I didn't. Thanks man.

I understand that the attacker was suffering from schizophrenia. I saw another answer where you said you understand this and don't blame him for it. But I'm curious if the attack affected the way you view violent crime in general, by people without diagnosed illnesses?

I think its given me a unique perspective on things like gun crime. For example a few months before this attack there was a shooting in Dunblane, a town in Scotland where 18 people died and were injured.(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunblane_school_massacre). I sometimes think "If he had a gun I'd be dead. My older sister would be dead. All those people who survived, who knows how many of them would have lived." So it frustrates me when I see over in America where there not even willing to talk about gun control. Like do some studies or something and if you find limiting access to guns won't solve your problem, then so be it but at leat have the conversation.

Are there any lasting effects from your injuries?

I'm not sure if it was a direct result of the attack, but I'm now left handed, which was a nightmare growing up especially when it came to scissors. I still avoid using them now.

Would would you say to the man if you saw him now?

What is there to say, you know? I mean I have no vendetta or anything against him, because he was suffering from mental illness so if I were to say anything I'd probably just say I don't hold anything against him and that I hope he gets better. But again its hard to say

Wow. World needs more like you mate.

What football team do you support?

Edit: as in the BPL

Wolverhampton Wanderers. So I'm used to being disappointed.

Hey man. I remember this when it was news. Shocking stuff.

Do you ever lie when ppl ask what the scar is from? I imagine it gets a bit tiring talking about something like that.

Thanks for doing the ama.

All the time man, I just don't want to get into it and if I do its too much effort to convince them I'm not lying. The other day I was getting my haircut and my barber saw the scar. I just told them I fell out a tree.

Have you learned any forms of self-defense in your adulthood due to being attacked as a child? The world is a scary place sometimes.

No, because effort

So, what's your favourite ice cream flavour? :)

Mint choc chip all day.

Do you like Cornettos?

I live for cornettos

Were your parents present at the time of the attack? If so, what was it like from their perspective?

My dad was at work and my mum was about to pick me and my sister up. If I remember correctly she saw the ambulances arrive. Naturally they were distraught, and that was the first time I saw my dad cry. We've all moved on and its just like a weird dream for them

Has anyone mentioned how hot you are yet?

Because you are. And people on Reddit should mention this

I'm average at best

How do you get your skin to be so smooth?

A daily regime of creams and moisturisers EDIT: I now realise that my phone does thing where it smooths out your kin or something, I am in fact pretty repulsive in real life

Did this ruin teddy bear picnics for you?

I haven't been to one since, so maybe?

How was Ramadan for you?

It was fun. It was the first time I was working and fasting at the same time, plus I was going to the gym, so there were times where I thought I was going to die, but I did take a week off during the referendum and been off work since Tuesday to spend time with my family, so in the whole its been good

What do you think of the Brexit? (Sorry)

I voted to stay, but more voted to leave, what else can be said. It can be frustrating hearing about people who voted leave without fully understanding what it meant, and the people who didn't understand what a protest vote was, but that's just democracy.

What do you do for a living?

I'm an investigation engineer and I work for a medical devices company. We receive defective infusion pumps from all over the world and try to figure out whats wrong with them and then make recommendations to other departments on how to avoid failures. You can probably imagine telling other people how to do their jobs doesn't make us the most popular group.

We're you not sure of a big surprise?

I don't know man, one second I'm just chowing on various snack foods, and the next people are running around screaming. They could at least waited for me to finish eating you know? Basic etiquette and all that.

What is a teddy bear picnic? Do you eat teddy bears?

We offer them as sacrifices to our Teddy overlords, then feast upon them when the ritual is complete

Because you were young when this happened, what would you say is the biggest thing the attack changed about your development? How do you think you might be different if the attack had not occurred?

I lost the use of my right hand so had to become left handed. I'm not sure if this was because of the attack or if I was left handed to begin with. The only difference that I can think is my hair would probably be shorter, because now I have to keep it long to cover the scar. I'm not ashamed of it or anything, i just prefer it that way EDIT: Just to clear up, I loss the use of my right arm while it was healing. It works fine now, I can do all sorts with it.

I remember very vaguely that something was said to him, not implying you said anything...

Do you remember what was said? The man was a paranoid schizophrenia, and if I remember he wasn't very apologetic

From what I've been told he thought that the children in the nursery were "devil" children who were mocking him and calling him racial slurs. He was suffering from an illness so I doubt that was the case

Crazy shit dude. Would you want to take payback against him if you could?

The guy was mentally ill and I've managed to live a fairly normal life. He's already lost his freedom, and I don't think me doing anything to him would make me feel better

Are you more conscious/alert now to potentially dangerous people?

I make sure to give any fool walking my way a full ocular patdown before he gets to close

Sounds like you need a special pair of shades so they can't see you giving them the ocular patdown, and maybe a sweet leather coat.

Maybe.... a duster?

Is the ocular patdown as foolproof as Mack's on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?

In a word... no

So what do you do now, and has the attack affected your life decisions as an adult?

I'm an engineer who works for a medical devices company. I work on defective infusion pumps and try to make recommendations to other departments based on my findings.

OMG What a terrible ordeal!

I do not have any questions about the attack. But I am fellow EE. What is your favor topic in your career? Are you visiting America any time soon?

My favourite part of my job is when we get scope out and schematics to fault find a board, cause that's when I feel like I'm using my degree. Pretty much anything thats hands on. I'd love to visit America, last time I went was when I was 20, with my Uni for a robotics competition in Anaheim. I got to spend my 20th at Disneyland and the food was crazy good.

Will you take vengeance?

I'm not planning on it, but if you can convince me otherwise, I might be open to it

I remember hearing about you on the news? Glad your ok. I'm old so I was in my early 20's when that happened. The teddy bears picnic part always stuck in my mind because I'm American and to me it's a song. So I thought it was weird that you were at a teddy bears picnic when it was a song. Now I understand.

Everything about its weird man

Did anyone die in the attack? And do you still keep in contact with the other victims?

Nobody died, and with Facebook its almost impossible to not keep in touch

Did the picnic look like this?

https://unitedmonkee.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/avengersbears5.jpg

Its like you've taken me back 20 years...

Did you survive!!??

YES?!

How many chicks do you pick up with those scars? How many do you lose when you tell them you got them at a teddy bear picnic?

How do you picture that going? "Hey girl I was stabbed when I was 3. How about them digits?" "Whaddup shawty, I was attacked in a nursery, your place or mine?" "When I was just a child me and my family had to deal with the trauma of nearly having me die as a result of a horrific attack that has gone down in history. Do you wanna jump on m'dick?"

Boy, I bet when the girls first see you they say "Mashallah!" followed by "Inshallah..." until those pick up lines come out and they're walking away shaking their heads muttering "subhanallah".

I'm used to them seeing me and saying Astugfurallah

Have you forgiven him?

I feel I have. Because it was so long ago it feels like it didn't happen so maybe that makes it easier for me to forgive him, as opposed to maybe my mum or dad, who probably remember it vividly, so would have a harder time.

Do you think mental illness makes this man less responsible for committing this act? I've never been able to comprehend why people think this way.

Even if the kids taunts were imagined it still is not ok to slash people up with a machete.

I understand where you're coming from but I personally take issue with treating him like he was an evil man who knowingly went out to hurt what he perceived as innocent children, which is how the media portrayed him following the attack. It doesn't mean he isn't responsible for what happened but, in my mind at least, it helps me understand how it could have happened. Maybe its just my way of coping with it. Like trying to justify that such a terrible thing could have happened. I don't know, maybe I'm just waffling on

Why were you attacked?

I don't think you can fully understand it, but the man who attacked me was suffering from schizophrenia and had convinced himself that the children in the nursery were devil children and were mocking him. Thats the reason he gave at least

Was the guy also termed a lone wolf?

I don't think he was