IamA Queens Guard (Men who stand outside royal residence) AMA!

Lets say the queen threatened to burn the entire city to the ground using wildfire. Would you stab her in the back to save the city but have to live on with the title of QueenSlayer?

I don't know what to say to this one.

You have to admit 'Queenslayer' is a really cool titel!

It would be lol

Do you think the Queen's Guard could take on the Pope's Swiss Guard?

And do what, Stand still in front of each other.

I walk past Buckingham Palace on the way to work every day - yesterday was an absolute scorcher. How the hell do you manage to stay cool?

I wasn't on yesterday. But usualy there is extra water somewhere. But mainly were told to man up and try not to faint.

What's your favorite pizza topping?

Simple pepperoni. why are you sending me one?

How many people do you have to yell at to "MAKE WAY!!"?

Everyone that gets in my way, I have to say that because it gives me a comeback when someone asks me why i knocked over that person I can say "well I did warn them" :)

Anyone flash you? Or heard of others being flashed while on duty?

Yes, Luckily only women :)

What is the strangest thing a member of the public has ever said or done to/with you?

On a side note, i fucking love you guys! Proud Brit and even prouder of our forces, my family has a long history across all services. Keep doing what you do :)

quite a few people seem to realy believe that we are statues and not real people. and treat me as such like walk up and poke me. from my point of view most people who stair at me for 30mins or more are defiantly weird.

On a side note Thanks

Awesome :)

I made a guy smile once at the palace cos i tripped over a paving slab en route to look around the other side. Literally the only time i've ever seen a guard break the serious look you all have :)

People falling is one of the things that will brake me to :)

Any tricks for getting over itches?

No not really. just have to try forget about it. they usually fade away after 10 mins. Its really annoying though

Under what circumstances are you supposed to shoot/bayonet someone?

Only when there is an immediate risk to my life, or the life's of others and only when all other options are unsuccessful or will take to long. There is an actual line I'm meant to say but that's the gist.

How many times have you actually smiled/laughed at service?

Quite a few, It seems to be when you try not to smile the unexpectedly mundane things will set you off.

What about people who try to set you off on purpose? Do they achieve it?

No, I find them really awkward, and not funny. then again I cant think of anything that is really that funny to someone you just met and haven't talked to

How do you handle marching with a boner?

Don't usually march that much when I get one.

Have you met the queen personally?

Yes, when it was boiling hot a few years ago her and and the duke of Edinburgh came out to the garden in Windsor and asked me a few questions, if there was water for me to drink. then went on with there day.

And was there?

Yes there was a bottle of nice cold water around the corner

Is there a list of people you are required to respond to? Also, were you given specific training on the correct formal terms of address?

Officers, The Royal family we salute the officers and present arms to the royals.

Has anyone ever physically hurt you?

No, But when there is a group of boystrus 20yo they try and be the most manly man by trying to touch or push me but as soon as I move they seem to lose that manlyness and run like girls.

What's the deal with females not being in the Queens Guard? I've not seen one in my times in London. Are they just rare? I'm wondering as you talk a great deal about manliness and manning up etc, which is just a figure of speech but they are loaded phrases...

It is true they are loaded sayings, picked up through talking in a closed of culture that is the army. There are no females in front line roles in the British army, its not my place to argue. But I did some research on the matter when we were asked by our officers on what we thought about it. What I came across was that males in stressful situations like combat will be more inclined to protect and treat an injured female more than an equaly or slightly more seriously injured male. while it is understandable that this is only data, I also have experience in treating multiple casualties both male and female and I to fell into this catagorie.

I don't think that all female are not cut out for combat. quite the opposite some females are harder than some of my fellow soldiers, but if any thing slows down saving life's in danger it should be at all costs avoided.

Always wondered this, are the Rifles actually loaded or are they just for show?

They are real rifles and real bayonets. The amount of people that think there fake is bad. they are usually not loaded, but when the threat level is high they are loaded with usually 10 rounds.

What rifles are they?

https://www.google.co.uk/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=sa80%20a2

What's the greatest length somebody has gone to, to make you laugh?

People try, but they are not funny at all and just anoy me to be honest. The things that will make me laugh are the ones that don't try to be funny, But just are funny. Like Asians with huge massive camera's, The way people cant seem to point selfe sticks in the right way, they seem to forget its reveresed and People falling over.

So if I walk past a guard trying to make my selfie stick work and fall over in the process they might laugh?

Noted

Yes, I would giggle.

Hypothetically, if a member in uniform of a foreign armed service, who was an officer, were to come up (on a visit or whatnot) would you salute, report, or do anything out of respect? Or are your orders to remain silent professionals?

Pay the propper respects. But I dont know many ranks of other countries so...

Thanks man, neither do I but I find chevrons often mean one thing while bars, wreaths and stars mean something else. Best of luck, stay safe.

the highest responce is lethal.

Do you feel - as someone who has personally fought for your country for at least a couple of years - at all degraded or misused now that you're basically a tourist attraction?

Sometimes. Like when we did get back and told that we would have lots of time of, then 5 weeks later we were on day on day of guards for a few weeks. but mostly its ok

What would happen if you decided to strike up a conversation with someone?

I don't so It dosn't happen

I was just wondering what the consequences are. Sorry for not being clear.

a charge of pay.

How do your superiors know, though? I mean, if you are alone chatting with someone and no one sees you, do you report yourself?

well they don't really, but if they do.

Hey man I remember your AMA from last year, which brings up a few more questions.

I happen to know two other people who served as Royal Guards, both Danish. In the Danish system guards are rotated out, they might guard for one tour and never do it again. (At least, that's my understanding.) Is there a similar system in the UK, or are Queens Guards always Queens Guards?

Also, are you still actively doing it? If so, have you done anything such as a deployment in the time between your AMAs? If you're not, what are you doing these days?

Oh! And one of my favorite Creepypastas involves a Queen's Guard. - If you get about 30 minutes, it's a good read.

Very cool of you to do the update, thanks again.

I read that nosleep today.... gives me shivers lol.

No we don't rotate out of the guards we are always guards but we also go on operational deployments

I am near the end of my service now as I am leaving to do a normal job so no I haven't really done much since last time.

Thanks for noticing me both times :)

Who's the nicest royal?

Ummmm, prince harry is funny, he came in drunk once in the morning and got carried to the rooms.

What's your favorite and least favorite MRE?

We don't get MRE's as good as the Americans.... I love all of there stuff couldn't get enough of them in afghan. We get ration packs, they used to be total rubbish, but they have gotten better But the old corned beef hash still sticks in my memory.

Hey there. I'm an American, and always thought you guys are pretty awesome. I have some questions.

Do you guys receive any special combat training, beyond a regular infantryman?

Do you ever run combat drills in your dress uniforms?

Are you guys actually prepared and alert all the time, or is the main concern just looking like a guardsman?

What is the minimum point at which you are allowed to respond to an asshole, with force?

Have you ever responded to someone with force for being a jackass?

Thanks in advance!

Hi there American, I will answer them now.

1) No we are given normal Infantry training, But at the end we do extra guardsman training. But I must stretch the point that I am a real soldier. That last part wasn't for you but the amount of people that don't know....

2) No, that is just for ceremonial duties.

3) Yes we always have a quick reaction force on standby inside our guardroom ready to respond. but the police is the first line of responding in most situations. The Guard on duty is focused on looking good mostly, but also keeping an eye out for threats to him self and the public.

4) If its stoping me from doing my duty we are given rules on how to deal with them mostly just shouting get back.

5) Never had to most people make it look like there cleaver and brave in front of there friends, trying to make me move, but they all run like girls the moment I get annoyed. Kind of funny really and makes me laugh

What's the pay like?

Good If your Single, terrible if you have a family

Good If your Single, terrible if you have a family

TIL my job's got something in common with the Queens Guard.

haha what do you do?

Have you ever fed the Ravens cornflakes at the Tower ?

No, But when I was a crow I was stood out there calling there names for an hour. OOOOO to be a crow :)

What do you do if you see a hot girl checking you out?

Not much I can do. Look back and maybe wink.:)

Would you get in trouble for a wink if you got caught?

Not very likely but yea.

As an American tourist, anything I can do to make your day better?

Say hello and treat me like a person is a nice one. Americans are one of the best tourists anyway, they thank me for my service, that makes me smile.

Theoretical: If a person was visiting Buckingham and another nearby tourist started being a cunt to a guard like we see on YouTube, would you get mad if tourist #1 beat the shit out of the cunty tourist?

not at all. and the police there would probably take there time to stop it, before sending them on there way. theoretically of course

I find the general attitude towards you guys extremely disrespectful. Do you agree?

Some of the time. The most anoying part is when people go to paraides and shout praises at us, Then after when I go to a shop and ask if they do military discount they say things like "for doing what?"

it seems this country has to personalities, were people like to be seen supporting us, but not doing anything to help at all.

Older people are generally realy realy respectful though and it is nice to talk to them.

Been that way for ages, son.

wow thats an amazing read, thankyou.

How serious is the rivalry between the Coldstream Guards and the Grenadiers? Any other major rivalries in the house guards?

Its apparently still there. I think But I am not one of them.

Thanks for doing this AMA!

Have you ever had a friend or family member come by and visit you or stumble upon you while on duty?

If so did they acknowledge you or try to mess with you at all?

Yes once my family was doing a tour of London and paid me a visit when I was on guard. they made fun of me and walked away lol

Spiffing. Finally I get to ask questions in a live queen's guard thread.
Can you tell me when you guys wearing the cape when out marching? When uncape? Ever since I saw an old Discovery documentary, I haven't the chance to watch the smart guards doing the uncaping thing yet. Can you tell me where can I find any videos depicting the show? Or better still, record some?
Also allowing me to ask a cheeky question, if a guy trying to kiss you on the cheek, what will happen?

Capes are worn in the summer dress when it rains, to stop the red tunics fading as they are woolen. I can't find one but I will keep trying I would tell them to get back. afterall they could be trying to take my weapon

No question here, but I've always wanted to talk to one of you guys.

Hey man what's up?

Not much, just sat in my house looking after my 1yo while my Mrs is out. the tv has been on children programs all morning.

How are you? anything interesting planed for today?

Eh, just work :/

Do you have a shift today?

No, I'm on leave at the moment.

Do you ever comb your hat/helmet?

yes, we keep it nice and cleaned with shampoo and conditioner.

First off, thanks for the AMA!

If a toddler wanders into the way, and your marching contingent (not sure if I'm using the right phrase, sorry!) shouts "Make way for the Queen's Guard!" but the child doesn't move, would you guys pause and wait for the child to move, or kinda just continue?

Thanks once again and hope you enjoy the rest of your leave!

I would go around or wait for the child to move.

Do you hate Asians?

No, I'm not racist. But they come in huge waves and take about 40 mins to leave. French children are really rude though.

Have you read the story on /r nosleep about the royal guard? If no, read it!

just read it.........

Do you do some form of standing meditation to avoid boredom? How long are your shifts? Do you have communication devices to link up with each other like modern security?

Tried once or twice, almost fell asleep. I just try to remember songs or movies all the way though

Have you ever met or spoken to the 10, 9, 8 -woman?

well now I am terrified

When you where a kid did you envision yourself standing in silence for a good part of the rest of your life?

no I can hold my hands up and say I didn't see this coming.

I really don't mean to come off as offensive in any way, and I understand that you have a very important and well respected job, but my question is related to your spelling and grammar.

I would have assumed someone who may meet the queen, and is one of the queens guards must pass some kind of English literacy test?

I again must stress that I am not trying to be offensive with this. I just wondered whether there are those kinds of tests or not as your spelling and grammar are a little off in places?

Once again, thank you for what you do for your country. I mean no disrespect.

There are basic test to asses things like maths, English and ICT. But most of the test are fitness and logical based tests.

Thank you for your response and once again I apologise if I have offended you

You haven't, I have never really taken the time to properly learn grammar.