Lamp. AMA!

I love lamp?

Lamp love you.

I thought this was "Ask Me Anything", but it sounds like you're only answering the softball questions. I'm a little suspicious the these "1 day old' users like coffeetable76 and pm_me_your_bulbs are just PR plants.

No plants in office.

No windows.

Only lamps?

Only lamp.

Who do you think will be the next us president?

Future so bright.

Must wear lampshade.

Follow up question: what is the best type of bulb?

Depends on lamp.

I am also a lamp.

Good.

Same here!

I may be in the wrong AMA

What.

Can you shed some light on how it feels to work at Reddit?

Part of busy office.

Lots of visitors.

Love being lamp.

When will you be announcing your candidacy for President? And how on earth will you be twisting the definition of "natural-born citizen" to include a lamp that was probably made in China? Was your mother a US citizen or something?

No plans.

Assembled here.

Show us your manufacturer's certificate!

Box gone.

Who's bright idea was it to do an IAMA?

Hard to go outside as lamp but want to connect with fans.

AMA one way to do that.

will the fan also be doing an ama

Fan in corner.

Asking fan.

do you two get along usually?

Fan took plug from lamp last summer.

Lamp still plugged in. Fan in corner.

What is your view on immigration?

turns on and off and on

Are Lava lamps the work of the devil?

Lava lamps are made of wax not lava.

They're made of wax, Lamp. What are you made of?

Metal. Wood base. Cloth shade.

Lots of shade.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?

No. Base is heavy.

What ever happened between you and Brick?

Wish Brick all the best.

What do you feel is the best step the government economy to improve? also, how is it having everyone love you?

Lamp love back.

What economy?

Shadiest moment you've seen at your workplace?

Victoria old office had less windows.

Was darker.

I am a good lamp.

In your lightspan, when would you say was your darkest hour?

Being assembled.

Who's bright idea was it to do this AMA?

Lamp.

Don't try to BS me. You're in the pocket of the lightbulb industry, aren't you?

Lamp is objective.

Lamp is object.

Ive.

Do you like being turned on or is that a total turn-off?

Am a good lamp.

Incandescent? Why?

Keep things warm.

Are you getting burned out answering all these questions?

No.

Watts of energy.

What celebrity would you want to.. ahem... "change your light bulb"?

No preference.

what is it that your father said to you on the beach all those years ago?

Never knew father.

Brian? Is that you?

wobbles

Do you feel offended or triggered when you hear one person refer to another as a "dim bulb"?

No. Bulbs dim. Change bulb.

Did you know without trigonometry, there'd be no engineering?

Question for computer.

What advice would you give to other Lamp's trying to make it now a days?

Lamp proud of work.

Lamp work hard.

Other lamps also work hard.

We all shine together.

Hi lamp! Big fan!

When you were working with Christian bale on BATMAN BEGINS and ANOTHER MOVIE TYPED IN CAPS FOR SOME REASON, what was your favorite sandwich?

Please, struggle to give me a full answer to my simple question, even as someone else types it out for you, thereby stripping it of all personality that could be conveyed by you typing it yourself.

Lamp is lamp.

You must be an authority on the subject: How many feminists does it really take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

What do you think of battery powered lamps? Like flashlights for example

Not as strong as lamp.

But don't like comparing lamps. All lamps good.

Are you one of those lamps that lights up, when just ANYBODY touches you?

Lamp has job.

When someone asks you a question, do you say watt?

That is good.

Is Lampy from the Brave Little Toaster what all lamps should aspire to be?

Lampy important for lamp community.

I am a good lamp.

Is your favorite fish a lamprey? If not, why not, and what is? And why?

Good funny.

Angler fish. Has a lamp.

Do you like movies about gladiators?

No TV in office.

Is Brick a gentle lover ?

Not here to talk about Brick.

Here to talk about Lamp.

Pancakes or waffles?

wobbles

When people make love near you, do you prefer to be on or off?

No love. This office.

What is it like being turned on by /u/chooter?

Is job.

Do you have an iq of a lamp?

rattles

Ever been in a Turkish prison?

No.

How do you feel about Ikea lamps?

Intimidated.

I love lamp, but i also love carpet and desk. Are you just as conflicted? How do you plan on handling this love rectangle?

Carpet is inferior. Desk is okay.

Got a light?

Yes.

100 duck sized ons or 1 horse sized off?

Duck size.

What is your favourite source of electricity?

The outlet.

Hey, thanks so much for doing this AMA!

Quick question: is your mother named Mary?

No.

If you were shining light down on earth, what kind of pizza topping would you be?

Pepperoni is best.

Do you get a lot of " is Debbie Boone your favorite singer?"

No.

Only hear classical.

Are you my daddy?

I am a young lamp.

Ask another lamp.

What's your opinion on the clapper?

Confusing.

What REALLY turns you on?

Floor switch.

What do you do during power outages?

Black out.

If you get blackout drunk, what lampshade do you pass out with on top of your lampshade?

Same one.

Do you have any friends Lamp?

Yes. Computer.

Do you like to be switched on?

Love my job.

Can I turn you on?

Okay.

Do the ceiling lights look down you floor based lights?

Good question.

Have to come back to.

How do you feel about recessed lighting options?

Good.

But they cannot move as good as lamp.

How do you feel about alternative light sources, like lava-lamps and LED lights?

Already talked about lava lamp.

LED is good.

How do you feel about nigahiga's portrayal and professed love of lamps in his many YouTube sketches?

Send link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hqIy3K5nUg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1DWrTnvyJQ (at 0:52)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxGUu623hTM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMrXY7sKG-I

Lamps > fans.

Lamps are there in darkest times.

Good.

Hi lamp thanks for doing this AMA. Brace yourself I've got a tough question that needs answering: what exactly is love?

Lamp is love.

This AMA has been illuminating. What's the darkest part of your job?

When other lights go out. Ceiling light.

What position suites you best, given your occupation?

Lamp near chair.

How bright can you go?

Only have 60 watt bulb.

If I remove a lampshade, am I technically decapitating it, or is it harmless, as if I were simply removing its hat?

Lampshade is face.

You decide.

Do you like Piña Coladas?

You have to answer my question, you cannot escape it.

Have not had.

Has Linkara reviewed you?

No.

What do you think of your God the sun ?

Heard stories. Never seen. No windows.

How does it feel being screwed in over and over again by so many people just for the sake of a cheap joke?

Bulb question.

OH GREAT ILLUMINATED ONE!

I HAVE SPREAD THE WORD OF LAMP FOR MANY A DAY! WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO NEXT TO BRING YOUR LIGHT TO ALL IN THIS WORLD?

Go to Amazon to get lamp.

Great AMA so far!

What has your brightest moment been?

Plugging in.

Would you rather stand on 2 chair sized tables or on a table sized chair?

Table-sized chair.

Lamp has big base.

Who really loves lamp?

To whom do you attribute

your success and why?

All love lamp.

Success is goal everyday.

Got two lamp questions for you

1. As a lamp what are some day to day struggles?

2. What do you do in your free time?

I love lamp cause lamp always has a bright face on

Thank you for asking.

Lamp have weak midsection. Restrict movement.

Like to read.

you have a Favorite book. i personally like Lamps and Lighting by J.R.Coaton

That is good book.

I read fridge.

Best thing and worst thing about being a lamp?

Best is job.

Worst is powerlessness.

What's your favorite movie and why is it Rampart?

No TV in office.

What turns you on?

Having power.

Can I get an opinion on Ikea's Lamp commercial?

Lamp has feelings.

Sad.

Have you ever launched one?

wobbles