IamA (Nightclub Bouncer for 6 1/2 years. I have been beaten, stabbed, had bones broken, bottled over the head, hospitalized, and even attacked by groups of old women, I'm 25 years old!) AMA!

Do you hate going to clubs/bars on your off time? After working security for a couple years I found I hated being around people drinking that weren't my friends.

DUDE, ITS THE WORST. I would 10/10 times rather snuggle up on the sofa with a lady friend and watch a movie than even go near a bar on my off time. You said it perfect.

As someone who worked security in nightclubs for 6 years in the early 2000s, you will burn out from the nightclub scene. Hate it for a year or two. Then after some of the bad memories start to fade love that you are able to tell some great stories from that era of your life. I'm a computer programmer so you could probably guess the stories are a little bit more mundane now.

Even though I have a ton of celebrity stories from working the Super Bowl, nightclubs, & concerts my favorite stories are the crazy people I'd see every week. I left club security to work security for a mental hospital and I think the club stories are still crazier.

Only in that life would I have stories of standing right next to Eminem when he fell off of that stage in CT & broke his ribs, ducking & hiding while swizz beats manager shoots up a club while the patrons go to their cars not to leave but to return fire and many others. I complained then but realize it was a hell of an experience now.

Salute, awesome stories. Cherish those memories, in the end that's all we have. Awesome, and thanks for the comment.

I do security in Australia and I've been doing it that long, that if I do go out, I feel like I'm working. Not enjoyable. Rather stay at home and chill

yeah it would be like the same if someone worked at a restaurant all day. The last thing you would wanna do is go out to eat at a restaurant. Home cooked meal would be best :)

I still love going out for a meal, but anywhere except my own restaurant.

yes my example was flawed but you get the gist of it hahaha :)

I know I'm late, but as a bar owner this is so true. If it's my friends, ok, if it's loud drunk asshats, I'm leaving.

You said it perfectly, I agree 100%

Lady here, I'll be your friend hahaha

Really? I'd love to have a new friend. :) Thanks for the comment!

Haha my sleaziest comment ever got a reply, great :P You're welcome. I like new friends too :)

Sleazy? I thought you were just trying to be nice. I'm bummed out now :(

I used to own a busy nightclub, and ended up using women as bouncers outside, guys inside. Women were better (or more tolerant) with dickheads and drunks and were considerably less likely to get a smack.

Have you an opinion on this?

I agree with this 100 percent. Not only are they more tolerant, males show women are far greater respect, and are far less likely to respond physically when denied at the door. I have had great experience with women doing identification screening at the entrance.

Fellow bouncer here from Scotland, if there's anything I wish I could have done differently when I started 10 or so years ago then I wish I had started promoting or running my own club night. Fuck, those guys can make bank once a successful and regular club night is established... much more than a bouncer for starters!

I ask you, if you look back over the last 6.5 years on the doors, what do you wish you had done differently or realised sooner?

I agree. That some people may be drunk and belligerent, but they are still people and deserve your respect, and treat everyone how you would want to be treated.

Have you ever had to throw a celebrity out of a nightclub/bar by force?

In my rare experience with a celeb in the establishment they come with their own security, who most times show us respect and will diffuse the situation when we speak with them. So no.

I was a bouncer back in the 90's and I had to throw Rick Flair out. He wasn't the problem but every drunk fratboy in the place wanted to fight him. He's 5-foot-nothin and that really seemed to wind everyone up. I just asked him to leave and he did. He knew what was going on. The best part was he was talking with a bachelorette party and when he left he took a huge percentage of the girls in the place with him. It was hilarious.

flair is legendary.

Is cheating at clubs common? Like, women in relationships making out with other guys?

thats like asking if the sky is blue, in my experience keep your girl away from the club, and ladies vice versa, nothing good can happen there for a relationship, unless you are out together!

So you mean that a girl won't just go there to dance and have a a good time? Like, without doing anything wrong?

if you have a good girl, or you are a good girl, I salute you, and same for men, but shit can happen when you are drunk in a crowded club. Not always the case ofcourse. Ive worked at some greasy ass places so I've seen the worst in people, thats all.

Like what kind of worst ?

A good friend of mine's girlfriend was out at the club I was doing security while he was working and took it up that ass from a random guy in the mens washroom stall.

What a charming girl. Got more stories like these? May i ask what country or region you worked in?

I have all kinds of stories!! North America My friend!

Do share, i have a madochistic facination with stories of sexual betrayal at the club or bar.

One time some girl was having body shots done off her by her friends with her boyfriend present, she flashed tits to crowd and bartender made out with her. Her boyfriend seemed to find it funny though.

Another time i saw two dudes fight, from what i gathered she was being fucked upskirt by a black dude while he was puking in the bathroom, he lost the fight and i think she left with the guy or her friends, i dont remember.

Another time some rugby guy was throwing ice at the girlfriend of a friend, he went to tell the guy to stop and the guy knocked him out. She stayed with him till ambulance arrived and, and this warmed my heart, she took a cab by herself to the hospital to be with him.

Maybe I could share some via a youtube video? much easier to get my thoughts across in that format, is that something you would be interested in?

Dude! What's the story on that? Was she just a ho? How did he find out? What was the aftermath?

I told him because he is my friend and it was my responsibility to make sure he found out. Maybe I should answer some of these in a youtube video?

How did you find out? Catch her in the act? Did he dump her? Had she been a good girlfriend, previously?

I didn't catch her THANK GOD. But a co-worker did and I was working the front door when they left and was told what happened. I felt like shit for days about that. She was awesome for him I thought. They did everything together. He left her immediately.

Can you explain the getting attacked by old women story?

Short story alcohol. Long story-a group of older women, who stuck out compared to the younger normal crowd were there to party. They were BOMBED, tripping and falling everywhere, probably due to drinking all day. They looked to be between 45 and 60. It was a group of 4 on a slow Sunday night. They were disturbing the other people there. I was the only bouncer on that night with the bartender, but he could do security if needed. So I approached them non aggressively and politely told them they were too full and would have to call it a night. One of them responded by saying I was "a cocky little shit" and "a baby." The insults did not faze me. I then became more stern as the situation called for it. The next thing I know I have a woman clawing my face and another punching me in the side of the head. The punches did no damage , but the clawing did. I had marks on my face for a couple weeks after, it was extremely embarrassing. Luckily they all pretty much fell over their own feet when I pushed them back. They got up, and then walked out on their own and cursed me the entire way. They were barred for life as a result, and they often try to come back but get denied entrance at the door.They have apologized to me personally several times. But no dice. Thats the just if it. Thanks for the question.

Good thing they didn't hear you refer to them as "old ladies" or it would have been much, much worse.

hahahah

Whats the most memorable occasion you had to throw someone out?

Too many. Off the top of my head - 2 young females - after receiving complaints from other female patrons that "sluts were going down on each other in the women s washroom" I got there and they were, right on the sink. I was 19, I still laugh about it today. They left easy enough after I asked them. One of them said "It's my birthday."

Thanks for your time to answer btw. Quick follow up question: which ones birthday was it?

Redhead

Do you get tips or split them with the rest of the staff? How often are you bribed to get in? I hope so - being a server sucks, but at least you're probably not attacked by old women on the reg.

each bar is different, some split tips with the bouncers some dont. I get paid my own wages at my current spot without any tips unfortunately

How would I even go about tipping a bouncer without it seeming like a bribe or taking the piss?

ummmm...dont say anything and just pay the man HA

Has anyone ever told you they thought you would be bigger?

Not that I remember.

What's the strangest thing you've ever seen?

I don't now if this counts as strange. But seeing people on the same day as being released from prison going to the club and causing shit and going right back to jail that night. I'll never understand that one.

I had a dude try showing me his prison ID card to get into the club I work at because he had no other form of identification. NOPE

hahah I bet he was a real winner :)

I guess it's because they've come from such an aggressive environment they're still programmed to react that way. Then add alcohol and shit goes down

Makes sense.

How big are you (height, weight)? Do you work out with weights? How much can you bench?

just under 6'4 and weighed 235 this morning, I can comfortably bench 300+ for working sets. I've weighed as much as 255 at my heaviest and was much stronger then.

SHIT. I'm 6'4 175 and can only dream to be 235+. Teach me your ways.

EDIT: I woke up like this http://i.imgur.com/i2jw3am.jpg

Just keep lifting weights, and treat it like your job. Don't miss workouts. Being committed and going to the gym even when you don't want to builds character that will spill over to other aspects of your life. And the other basic things get in more calories than what your burning. If you want specifics on what I do feel free to inbox me my friend.

Have you seen bro science life on youtube? What's your opinion?

absolutely totally fucking hilarious one of my favorite channels ! :)

You volunteer with autistic kids? That's so awesome! I do a lot of work with special needs and I just want to thank you! Also wishing you good luck in school :)

Yes it is very rewarding and makes me feel good too as im sure you know! Thanks very much, I'm doing my best. :)

Is it a good paying job?

it can be, if they think you are worth it they will pay you more, and with experience you can ask for more cash, but starting out expect to make 40 bucks a night 9/10 times

For how many hours?

usually 4 hours

That's not that bad.

Your job is basically to get spit on, shouted at, stabbed, and baited into fights. But do your best to remain calm.

£10 ain't bad when you're working at a grocery store. It'd take a lot more money for me to not lose my shit on people like that.

You said it perfect

Do they really teach you how to spot fake ids? Cuz sometimes I feel like most places just dont really care and only glance at it to look at the birthdate. Or is spotting a fake so easy you can actually do it that fast?

yes full ID training. most dont have this though and as you said just look at the birth date, and if lucky the picture too.it can be nearly impossible to spot if its done right

When I used to bounce clubs, our venue had a scanner all you had to do was swipe the card and it'd verify if the card was legal.

Made the job extremely easy.

yes for sure great machine.

What does it take to be a bouncer?

Have tough skin and don't take anything personal. Size isn't everything. Intelligence and confidence is most important. I wrote an article on this in detail if your interested in reading inbox me.

I was a bouncer at a dive strip club for a couple years, and while I'm not very big or tough, I do have a quick wit and empathy, which I found to be very useful tools . Knowing which guys to intimidate and which guys to joke with, made getting the bad guys out the door much safer. In two years I had one punch thrown in the entire club, a few hands on tussles, but mostly just cussing or crying/whining.

you sound like a good guy, you understand how it works. We arent professional fighters, we are customer service workers :)

Intelligence

That made me laugh. 95% of the bouncers round my way are meatheads on a power trip. I see them taking people round the side of the club out the way of the cameras to give them a pounding. I once didn't get let into a pub because "No white trainers. And no check shirts" despite the fact I could see people inside wearing trainers. I wasn't even drunk, they just didn't like my face. And I've been thrown out for blowing my nose in a toilet cubicle. I guess that means I'm doing coke, not that its the middle of winter and I have a cold.

So forgive me if I find your statement ironic.

The public holds the belief bouncers are untrained muscle-bound boneheads. I agree that many or nearly all of my co-workers fit this description. They were only in the security lark for the loose women, the quick cash, the status, the "power," and the threat of possible violence. What the public does not realize is that many bouncers aren't money hungry, sexed crazed, aggressive, ego-tripping criminals. Many are fairly educated, polite and honest, who do this difficult, unpredictable, and often dangerous job to bring in extra income, often to support their wives and children, to whom they are faithful, and to whom miss while they are off doing this antagonistic work. In my case it provided a source of income so I could afford text-books, internet, and groceries while putting myself through university.

Just remember - there are those who go unnoticed amongst the typical public barrage of stereotyping.

What was your most painful injury?

Surprisingly, compared to all the other shit that healed somewhat fast, a torn right bicep that still can give me issues to this day

How did that happen? Biceps are surprisingly painful. I got elbowed hard on my right bicep playing squash this week and I can only imagine how bad a tear will be.

one of those things that I didnt feel during a scuffle, then the next morning my bicep turned purple :/ I did heavy deadlifts that day and those can expose your bicep maybe that had something to do with it. thanks for the question

I had a similar issue and it only ever healed when I stopped working out for a full month and just let my body heal. That was 2 years after the slight tear. You are probably constantly re-injuring it by still working out and using that muscle.

thats definitely possible, but I let it rest as long as I could over a month, but we all heal at different rates. Its just one of those things for me that you feel in the morning and at night when you go to lay down.

Have you ever feared for your safety in any of your altercations with drunken patrons? You mentioned being stabbed as well as hit over the head with a bottle as well. Did you see either of those attacks coming, or were you blind-sided?

Its weird, you dont fear during it, its not until after and you've had a chance to reflect back, and you feel like wow that shit was crazy and im really lucky.

Who's the smallest bouncer you have seen?

5'4 170 pounds, great guy.

Well there's hope for me yet

I wrote an article on everything you need to know about being a bouncer if your interested I can inbox you

Hmm I was being sarcastic because I'm short and bouncers are always so massive compared to me. I don't have a thick skin so I don't think its up my alley

To each their own my brother

How often does something "crazy" happen. Everyone assumes that being a Bouncer is crazy shit 24/7. Is that actually the case? How often do you have a night were nothing happens besides simply asking someone to leave?

Yeah it just depends. But, I have found a strong correlation with lots of women around and easy nights. Guys tend to turn to fighting if there isnt many women in the bar. Its definitely not 24/7. But I worked a night when there were two different hockey teams in the club. They got in a massive brawl and was one I will never forget.

100%. Also have you noticed most of the fights take place at closing time when guys have struck out and are now turning their attention to fighting?

Exactly. Young men feel that if they have struck out with the women that night beating another person still pads their ego. Sad really, they should be embarrassed for acting that way.

What is your favourite type of pie?

Apple pie, what about you?

Not the one who asked the question, but great choice. Apple pie, yo!

apple pie with some vanilla ice cream ontop IS MY SHIT.

Shit in my mouth, please.

wow this is getting off topic but YES

Can we get some backstory pertaining to the "stabbing" incident?

Theres not much of a story, I was in the middle of a brawl and I guess I took a blade to the guts, but I never felt a things until after until I discovered I was bleeding and my shirt was soaked with blood and got taken to the hospital

That adrenaline spike always amazes and terrifies me. What would normally be a dibilitating injury gets shrugged off for a couple minutes, and it's a completely automatic reaction.

BROKEN HANDS FOR SURE

Have you ever caught yourself accidentally overextending your physical enforcement authority on uncooperative customers?

Yes in the beginning because I was being influenced by idiots I worked with as I was very young. At this time I am 100% focused on use verbal tactics and if I have to become physical with someone I feel lie I've failed.

Hey man, I know I'm really late to this but hope you can respond.

I barback and on slow nights I cut my door guy. We're not a nightclub but we're a very popular downtown bar. Any tips on dealing with patrons as a 150lb 5'11 guy?

Ofcourse. First approach people calmly, respectfully, and in non aggressive fashion, talk with confidence and make eye contact. This could be tough in the beginning if you are worried about them attacking you or something crazy, but if you do this they will respect you, and if you ask them to leave most times they will if you explain to them they are causing an issue. Most times the assholes will leave but they have to feel like a man first so, they will probably insult and threaten you. Keep your cool and take no offense to this. Then from there call the police if you have to.

Obviously being a big dude is a plus if you are to work as a bouncer. But are there any other physical requirements? Such as self defence training, MMA or other fighting sports?

I guess being big helps, but I've worked with smaller guys who were incredible at getting people out. Smarts is 1st, size and fighting ability come after that. MMA training for anyone is good.

5 10 here, never had to lay my hands on anyone in 6 years before last week, when we has a dude break into our venue after hours. Otherwise, I'm able to just talk them outside either by being kind, or just tricking them into walling out with me

salute! you sound like a great guy who knows what hes doing, stay safe my friend!

As someone who doesn't drink a lot, I often find myself in difficult situations when I do go out with my friends and they get very drunk and cause all sorts of problems. Having Asperger's Syndrome doesn't help either and I tend to panic or not fully understand what people are asking me.

What advice/tips can you give for someone who just wants to enjoy a night out without getting involved with trouble? What kind of person is most helpful to Bouncers/Security Guards on nights out?

To avoid the dummies- I would recommend going to the bars that close earlier in the night. I my location establishments either have a bar/tavern operating license which enables them to remain open until 2 am, or the cabaret licence which enables them to open until 3:30 am. Avoid the later closing bars because those are a last stop for drunk assholes who will cause problems for you. And just be well mannered and polite to people when you are out and they will act the same. Remember you dont need to be drunk to go out and have a good time. Just drink casually and enjoy your friends company, dont be focused on the drinking. Focus on the experience and have fun. Maybe you should tell your friends this. If you have any more questions feel free to ask my friend, be safe and have fun

With the experience you gatherd in your 6 years, can you tell if some guy/girl is trouble the minute you spot them in front of a club? I mean, are there really any dead givaways that somebody will behave badly or will even, let's say, the petite girly that just walked in start a riot?

hmmm fists clenched, looking distressed, bumping into people/pushing them out of the way, and their overall body language, and just being an ass

I wonder why people go to clubs in such a mood. Maybe some people just want to get some drama (or broken bones)?

Btw, thanks for the AMA!

I think for some guys getting in a fight triggers the same pleasure response as having sex so when they are unable to find a partner they get into a fight. Sad really.

Why haven't you found a better job yet?

It's really the only type of job that is manageable with my current schedule, I have another job and volunteer with autistic kids, and on top of that I'm a full time student. At this gig I can show up late, show up whenever I want, work whenever I want due to my level of experience they show me that respect. It helps, and its pretty much all I know at this point. Trying to change that with the schooling though

Man I was gonna say something really snarky about being a bouncer, but that reply shut me the F up! Good luck with school! What do you study?

thanks brother

Any tips for skipping the kids in the queue and getting up front? ;)

$$$$$

Former bouncer here. Worst injury I ever got (thankfully) was a chipped tooth.

What were you hospitalized for?

I got my ass kicked by a group of guys after the bar which was the worst, other minor things like broken hand, other injuries, the worst though is having to get blood work when you come into contact with someone else blood, you always assume the worse

Have you found yourself to be more and more racist as the time goes by? Like you know simply by looking at a person how they will treat you?

As someone who works at an upscale hotel, I have found this to be the case and wonder if it is the same for you.

If a person is being a drunk asshole the last think that registers in my mind is what color they are. An upscale hotel is definitely a different environment with higher standards of whats acceptable so I can see where you are coming from. People are people and some people just are assholes, don't let them change who you are.

Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck?

neither I love ducks :)

Would you talk more about your approach to physical altercations. Do you have go to moves to get an asshole out when he's crossed the line? Do you practice martial arts currently. If so for fun or just preparation. I have many friends who work in bars, sometimes I worry about their liability if they hurt somebody because they lack appropriate training.

My approach to physical altercation is to avoid them if possible and use verbal skills primarily. If taking another 2 minutes and getting someone outside via talking versus potential for injury I'll take that route everytime. I believe two bouncers per one person is ideal. In this scenario each bouncer is able to restrain each side of the person by grabbing the wrist with with one hand and the upper arm with the other. This is the best way to prevent possible injury to the bouncers and the person who was asked to leave. But remember if you get caught alone and someone is swinging at your head you do whatever you have to to protect yourself. I have practiced martial arts heavily in the past but do to an ankle injury training I tend to avoid that style of training as of late. Your basic use of force course offered at many security training schools will be sufficient in teaching holds that protect you and the person you are performing the holds on.

Have you or any of your employers ever been sued by a bounced customer? Thanks for your response. Best of luck with your plans.

Actually yes. A former bar got sued because he got injured. This happens more often than what you would think, its really unfortunate when people get hurt. Thanks you my friend

Why have you not moved up to barback or bartender? I did security for about a year before I realized I was doing the hardest job for the least money.

I have bartended several times before. At the moment I am too busy and just work security when I can. When I was bartending I had to stay late doing cash deposits and bar tear down. I know longer have the time for this. i agree with what you said though

What do you do if you find drugs on somebody?

We are supposed to confiscate them and give them to police.

How much you paid for a year? Is it worth it?

Its not worth it in my opinion. In my case it helps pay for textbooks etc. Do it if you either want the experience, or to supplement your income. It depends on how much you work.

How does one become friends with a bouncer? I've seen people pay them to become friends and all that. Any other ways? Tips or tricks?

I tend to separate people I have met at the bar from my personal life. I would say the best way to befriend a bouncer is to meet them at another location and work on creating a relationship from their not the bar. Or you could give them 100 dollars, I dunno.

Minimum requirements for boucing?

Depends on the location. Some will hire anyone who walks through the door because the turnover rate is so high. Other better establishments want 2 years+ experience.

What is your lifting regime like? I'd assume it's a mix of powerlifting/strongman and some BBing.

Also, do you take any martial arts?

I originally began a bodybuilding routine around age 14 to build my body, as I aged into my late teens I began to turn to a mix of power lifting and little bodybuilding movements at the end of workouts to maintain the look I wanted my body to have. As a natural lifter Focusing on bettering your core lifts(bench,squat,dead,overhead press) is ideal. Yes, I love boxing, judo, and muay thai most of all. Have dabbled with bjj as well.

Whose job in the bar is it (if anyone's) to try and keep people from driving drunk? If you kick someone out drunk, are you required to make sure they don't drive?

It's ours but ofcourse, but our authority ends at the end of the property. I immediately call the police if I notice that. They are generally in the area anyway and catch them.

I might be a little late to this. I had a brief stint on the doors in UK (~1 year when I was 20) my problem was remaining calm, if I had someone goading me into fighting, I'd be wanting to fight. Before you started working was you any different to how you are now? Or have you always been able to deal with confrontation and not have to throw fists?

We all possess different temperaments and breaking points. From my first day I just always felt that whatever people said about me wasn't true. When people start shit talking me like you described I just pay no attention to what they are saying, especially if we have already gotten them outside of the bar. Honestly at this point having someone outside and watching them go at me and embarrass themselves infront of a crowd of people is justice enough for me.

Just wondering if there is a night that seems to be no worry like any cases like fighting or etc? Or just every night there is always something that might/may happen?

its hard to describe but you can definitely feel by the vibe of the night if its going to be a good night, and by the look of the crowd, but as always things can happen in an instant

Could you please give the stories behind all the things you mentioned in the title? Except for the group of old women attack, I managed to find that one in the other comments so far.

jumped by guys I kicked out of the bar that night on my way home and ass kicked real bad, stabbed in the guts, and everything else happening being in the middle of a brawl. Thanks for the comment

And you have beaten other people, hospitalized other people, and broken other peoples bones too, right? Your subject makes you seem like a martyr.

YES, in the beginning because I was young and influenced by my co-workers. It was sort of a sick environment where the management would praise you for beating someone. I learned very quickly that wasn't me and quit and went to a different place that was more humane to its patrons.

Can you tell us the story of how you got stabbed? Pleeeeaaase? :3

I actually didnt feel it until after, due to adrenaline, and never saw it either, but I was bleeding enough to soak my shirt red. Just got stuck in the middle of a brawl.

How you ever had to punch a young American white woman in the face? Can you describe the event in detail?

Never in my life will I punch a young white american woman, or any other type of woman ever

Would you punch a man smaller than you?

I wouldnt a man bigger than me. Thats a last resort

Hey. Could you provide additional proof, please? The current proof picture doesn't back your claim.

Inbox me if your that interested.

can you hook us up at r/Burstingout with pics of the chicks that come in with their boobs popping off their clothes?

I will do my best sir HA

Why are all of you assholes?

The public holds the belief bouncers are untrained muscle-bound boneheads. I agree that many of my co-workers fit this description. They were only in the security lark for the loose women, the quick cash, the status, the "power," and the threat of possible violence. What the public does not realize is that many bouncers aren't money hungry, sexed crazed, aggressive, ego-tripping criminals. Many are fairly educated, polite and honest, who do this difficult, unpredictable, and often dangerous job to bring in extra income, often to support their wives and children, to whom they are faithful, and to whom miss while they are off doing this antagonistic work. In my case it provided a source of income so I could afford text-books, internet, and groceries while putting myself through university.

Just remember - there are those who go unnoticed amongst the typical public barrage of stereotyping.