IamA 90 year old man suffering from aspiration pneumonia, Alzheimer's, dementia, Parkinson's, & COPD. Ask me anything AMA!

If you had a day to do one thing over again ... what would you do?

Be with my wife.

Does death scare you?

It terrifies me and I'm in my 20s

Not anymore. Knowing my children are able to handle themselves, I'm ready to face it.

Anyway, I left the Rehabilitation center now. Grandpa thanks you guys for all your questions, still don't hesitate to ask more! Again, thanks guys! Goodnight from us! :)

You mentioned that you had 8 siblings. Lots of times, brothers and sisters get a sort of "reputation" in the family - like being the "funny one" or the "smart one."

How would your siblings have described you?

I was known as the stubborn one. I disagree.

If you could ask anyone, alive or dead, one question, who would you ask, and what would the question be?

My wife. Why did you have to leave so soon?

Assuming it would be loyal to you, would you rather have a flying bear or a talking lion?

Flying bear, so I don't have to walk.

What were the 3 happiest moments of your life?

1. Marrying my wife
2. Having my children
3. Living long enough to see my grandkids

Does it please you to know that today, strangers from around the world can ask you nice questions hoping to learn from your wisdom, and that so many offer you good wishes for your happiness?

Yes, of course! It's nice to know that people are interested and concerned in someone they don't know. Most elderly are depressed because they can't do most of the things they loved to do anymore. You guys comfort me. It's nice to know that people still care about someone like me.

They say that a person truly dies the last time their name is uttered.

Tell your grandpa to keep up the good fight. Fight until he's ready to go. Set an example for you and his other family members.

What's his first name? If you don't mind sharing it, I will say it as often as I can.

My name is Ernesto.

What are you most proud of in your life?

My children.

How difficult it is to maintain short term memories? How much do you forget on a daily basis?

Its hard. Its scary when my family says I've forgotten something, or tell me I'm somewhere else than where I presumed.

If there is one advice you would give to your future generation what would it be?

Always believe in yourself. Trust me, miracles do happen.

How is your current outlook on life and what kind of regrets do you have, if any?

I wish I could've finished college. My children are doing very well in life, but I wish could've given them more.

What are your top three tips for young adults to live a better life?

1. Finish education. 2. Respect everyone. 3. Always have faith.

Though we all know nurses rule the land, what's the nicest thing a doctor has done for you or said to you?

"You look good for your age!"

What changes in the world (technological, political, societal - anything, really) over your lifetime have between most significant to you, and why?

Skype. I'm finally able to see and talk to family in the Philippines. I haven't been back to the Philippines in 15 years, so this is very important to me. Also color TV!

What has been your most challenging medical struggle?

Dementia. (From my standpoint). It's hard watching him trying to remember things then throwing a tantrum about it.

My pawpaw had Dementia. I was very close to him. 3 years of watching him slowly not recognize me anymore hurt terribly. He passed last year. Cherish every moment. Even the ones when he doesn't know who you are.

(This is his grandson) it's hard, I know. That happens to me sometimes. But don't worry anymore. Your dad is not in pain anymore. He is somewhere better. He is smiling at you and watching over you :)

Are you happy about how you lived your life so far?

Of course. I wish I hadn't smoked, though. Other than that, I am good!

I work in Recreation Therapy in a hospice unit and talk to people like your dad all day everyday as my job, any advice on how to be most helpful in mu 5 minute visit to people like your grandpa? his words are appreciated.

Motivate them! Make them smile! Make them feel relevant!

Being 90, I'm sure you have seen a lot in your life. What is the biggest "what the f***" moment in your life, where you saw something that left you speechless?

When I found out my daughter's ex husband cheated on her with a married woman. I was horrified. I liked him for my daughter, yet he did something that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

What kind of ice cream do you recommend?

Strawberry ice cream!

Cool, where were you born and where have you lived the longest?

I was born in the Philippines. I lived in the US the longest.

what's the best advice you have ever received?

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.

one more if you don't mind: Being a 17 year old male I feel as if the youth of today have very little to no connection to elderly people, even our own grandparents. I feel as if we can learn a lot of valuable lessons from any given elderly person. My question is how can the youth of today's generation bridge the age gap and connect with our grandparents or other authority figures?

(This is his grandson) I think what we need to do the most is just set time for your grandparents. People of today (though kind of hard to believe) are always tied in with either electronics, schoolwork, or just going out with friends. We all grow old some day and we need to understand that. Soon we will miss people. Soon we will want people to be beside us. Soon we will want to share our experiences with younger people. We will soon all want that, so why not give it to the elderly of today? We will be in their shoes. Give them your time.

You sound like an easy-going, happy guy - what's the secret to a happy marriage?

Trust. Always trust.

What makes you the happiest these days?

(Also, I hope for the family's sake your Grandpa has an Advanced Directive/Living Will so that his end-of-life wishes are known and documented. I used to work on a Cardiac unit, and there's nothing sadder than a family fighting over whether or not Grandpa wanted all these life-prolonging interventions, especially when so many of them are painful/unpleasant.)

Seeing my family. I cannot get enough of them.

How hard was it to retire and actually have nothing to do all day?

I retired when my wife became bed ridden. It wasn't so hard for me because I was surrounded by family.

What was your biggest hobby?

Bowling! It was 10 pins back then. That and going to the race track to watch the horses race. I can't do that anymore, sadly.

What country do you live in? How has it changed during your life?

I was born in 1924 in the Philippines, and a memory I held onto was in WW2 seeing other people get shot by Japanese soldiers. The technology has advanced since then, but in the part I grew up in it was rare to have a car take you places.

What is your favorite color, and why?

Blue. It looks good on me!

Thank you so much (both of you) for taking the time to do this!

How did you meet your wife?

How long after that did you know she was the one you were going to marry?

I met my wife through a friend. I saw her at a party we were both invited to, and I asked my friend to introduce me to "that beautiful woman". I KNEW she was the one the moment I laid my eyes on her.

Followup question - did she fall immediately in love with you as well, or did she take some "convincing?"

It took convincing. I definitely had the looks, though!

What is your favourite food?

Anything. I love to eat.

What's your favorite kind of soup?

Sinigang. (It's a Filipino dish)

It's beautiful how dedicated you are to your family. It's clear your wife was a wonderful person. When you think of your lives together as husband and wife, is there a specific memory that always comes to mind?

Not in particular, I was always happy with her. Raising children with her, I guess

I have a wife & 2 kids.... As a younger person so hyper focused on NOW, what could you tell me to slow down and appreciate before its too late and why?

Kids grow up so fast. You don't want to miss a SINGLE moment with them. They will surely appreciate what you've done for them. Spend time with your family. Make good memories to look back on.

What was the coolest thing you were waiting for when you were a kid? Be it a toy or technology?

A TV. I started working at 11 and I come from a poor family, so something like that was impossible for me to get.

What is the most amazing thing you have seen in Your 90 years on Earth?

The birth of my children. Such a privilege.

What made you and your wife decide to have nine children? Or was that a normal kind of number at the time? (I come from a big family too, and I love hearing about others)

There was really no decision, family planning was not an option then. It was a normal number at the time.

do you have any advice for married 30 somethings? extra points for advice from the wife's side! :)

Always trust in your partner! That's the main foundation.

What is the most recent memory of your children?

That's hard because I have 9 children. Them visiting me very often. When they were younger, my youngest daughter's divorce. Tough time for her.

How many times will you answer this question?

As many times as I need to!

You mentioned you started working at a very early age (11).

What was you first job (at 11)?

What sort of job(s) have you held over your lifetime?

Starting at 11, I cooked and sold food on the street. I did that until high school. After that, I worked in a factory that produced sodas, and I later became one of the supervisors there. Hard work pays off!

What place have you visted that you think everyone else should also enjoy?

I never traveled anywhere, but the Philippines is amazing. Visit the tropics!

Hopefully, it's a ways off, but I imagine I will be dealing with Alzheimer's/dementia with my parents someday as well.

Has there been anything that has helped you deal with these changes in your life? (Things family / doctors / caregivers have done)

Again, it's always family. Whoever you have close ties with, be with them. Maybe that's why I'm still alive, because I can still feel their love and support.

I wish you the very best. I lost my dad to dementia and me being 57 years old, I have a belief of a wonderful life after this one ends. What are your thoughts on the after life? Thank you

I believe we all go somewhere where we are happier as a whole.

How has the overtaking of the Philippines by the Chinese impacted your family? Job loss, cheap goods, over-fishing, over crowding? I live in the USA with my wife and two kids... My wife is from Cagayan De Oro. We live in Florida USA. Salamat!

I don't remember, but as far as I know it hasn't been terrible. It definitely scared us. It was a scary time. Salamat sa pagtatanong!

What is your favorite food?

Anything! I love to eat! Though if I were to pick a favorite, it would be ice cream.

What is your most favorite movie?

Bruce Lee's Way of the Dragon!

Nice - that's the one with Chuck Norris in the Colosseum, right? Think I've got it on my Netflix playlist...

Yes sir/ma'am!

I know that there are lots of things that aren't fun about being elderly, but what's one aspect of your acquired years that you wouldn't want to give up?

My faith. There's many things, trust me, but without faith I don't think I would've lived this long.

As a young child in the Philippines, did you have any hopes and dreams for when you "grew up", and if so, have you been able to achieve them?

They were a dream of any child's; I wanted to have a lot of money and live in prosperity, but as I grew up I knew that it was all about family.

Would you say that you are a very religious person, and if so, has this impacted how you are dealing with your situation now?

Yes, I am religious. It has given me hope and faith, even when I'm facing something very bad. It gives me something to look forward to.

You mentioned in an earlier answer that you wish you had finished college.

What were you studying?

Why did you stop?

I'm a high school graduate, but coming from a poor and big family, we couldn't afford something like a college, anymore. Our family was already struggling at the time, so we had no choice.

Followup: How big of a family did you come from?

I had 8 other siblings. Only 2 of us remain.

My mom is 50 years old(but she looks much younger) she survived a cancer in utheros almost 2 years ago. I few weeks ago she lost her awareness of where she's or where she goes. She went to a supermarket very near from home and get lost like 30 mins, after that she recover her mind. Did your grand pa have similar symptons when you discover his diseases?

Well, yes. Dementia. It was hard sometimes trying to explain to him that he's not in a hotel or whatever, he's either at home or in a hospital. Heck, he even thought it was his birthday at one point (and it was not).

What is your very earliest memory (and how old would you have been at that time)?

Not much. I come from a poor family, and I started working at the early age of 11. Probably the best memory however was when I met my wife.

What countries have you lived in during your life?

Are you in the US now / a US citizen (you mentioned you haven't been to the Philippines in 15 years).

Why did you leave the Philippines?

Only the US and the Philippines. I left the Philippines for my children to have a better life here.

Is there any one person who you'd say has had a major influence on your life?

My wife, of course.

What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you?

I don't remember anything embarrassing in particular, sorry.

Do you really think your grandfather was able to provide informed consent to you doing this AMA on his behalf?

Yes!

Do you understand what informed consent is?

(Grandson) Well I meant to say it with a question mark. I know what informed consent means, but I do not understand the question.

Are you sure you're srill alive right now?

I'm going home next week! I can still breathe. I think I'm alive.