IamA 28 year old comedian dying of cancer. Trying to inspire people to have more fun with life. Raw and uncut. AMA!

Have you ever had a bit go bad and then when the audience doesn't laugh you go "Hey! Is this thing on? I'm dying up here!"?

Haha! Hilarious.

I have a very intense fear of dying. Sometimes it keeps me up at night worrying about it.

Are you in fear in anyway? Is it true that when you know you are going to die that you are not scared anymore?

I hope you have the best fucking time of your life while you're still here, and I wish you all the best man.

Missy, because I lived a very full, adventure and fun filled life I have no fear of dying. I also don't have children so I know this is easier for me than say a family man. You are going to die Missy, this we know. Start accepting that you have no control over it and live acting as if. Check out this one minute clip from my web series...it'll help maybe. http://youtu.be/b-UwqqOmcdw?t=3m58s

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Fuck moping!!

I'm a 26 year old artist eventually dying from muscular dystrophy. Mind if I do your portrait for solidarity's sake?

That sounds really cool. Not the MD part obv. :)

You made me think for a moment how happy I should be with my life. And I really am... Don't know if it means anything for you but I prayed for you and your blessing. Thank you and have a merry christmas!

I'm glad!! Merry Christmas to you too! Who did you pray to if you don't mind me asking? I find that part of people's responses fascinating.

He that is born this feast you see

So... Santa?

LOL

When you come across someone with worse cancer than you, do you ever think "pffft, who the fuck does THIS guy think he is?"

Hahaha. Not many people have a worse cancer. They may look worse, but mine is the top 5 worst. I get a lot of support from survivors who beat hodkins lymphoma(f spelling I'm dying lol)....so apparently that's an easy one?

Any plans on becoming the next walter white, but for comedians?

I'm working on a bit for a stand up about Breaking Bad - Canada version. Where my version of Walter White is running yellow lights and littering my gum....IT NEEDS WORK. haha.

On a dark and real note, my good friend was raped and beated by a serial rapist who is now back on the streets. He has been in and out of jail multiple times. I have dark moments where I consider murdering him if I am ever 100% not just my current 95% certain to die soon.

That first joke could use a little honing. But that second one is a KILLER!

LOL

If you could punch any celebrity in the face right now, who would it be and why?

Bill Cosby

What kind of cancer?

Stage 3 Esophageal. NOT localized. 2-5% chance of living more than 2-3 years.

the survival for nonoperable esophageal cancer is over 30% with neoadjuvant chemoradiation with consideration for surgical resection following. i'm an oncologist. are you sure you haven't been seeing the same doctor who told steve jobs to eat carrots to cure his cancer?

I promise I steered clear of Jobs' docs. :) I'm not sure if you are trolling or messing around, or even how to answer this questions - Dr. Gail Darling, the leading Esophageal oncologist and surgeon in North America gave me a 2-5% chance of living more than 3 years.

Do you know you got it if you don't mind my asking? (i.e. was it tobacco related?)

Youtube channel he says he is/was a chain smoker.

20 smokes a day, for a decade.

Is there a slight chance of total recovery?

Less than 1%. Which is why I am so adamant and passionate about helping people see how valuable our time is. SPEND IT RIGHT. Make your heart happy. Smile and laugh and fuck and love. Live, don't survive. Stop planning for a future that may never come - screw the rat rave. Get out. Breathe!!!!!!

Finally, a 1 percenter I'd be willing to root for.

LMAO

You have a sense of humor, and also cancer. How do you feel about cancer jokes?

My web series is called The Funny Thing About Cancer. I am learning to make my own cancer jokes every day.

-What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer.

Who were your comedic influences?

I wish I could write as well as my influences. Robin Williams, Carlin, Lewis Black....but I tend to be a lazy comedy writer and don't carry a message like I intended to. Currently, I really like Bill Burr's new special.

Me too, he's great but my current favorite is Doug Stanhope.

Absolutely love Stanhope! I feel badly for not including him above. Haha.

Well not that badly, I'm fucking dying, he isn't. :)

How did you find out you had cancer? Are there any lifestyle choices that you think may have led to this?

I have acid reflux and fear for my esophagus

ACID REFLUX! That's the culprit. Get checked. Upper GI swallows....please. Ask your doctor. I am in a study to help find blood markers that can see this cancer early. It is such a bad one. No one finds out about it until it's too late.

How many times has your illness gotten you laid?

The week I posted it on Facebook, I slept with many different women. Mostly repeats and old exs...but it was a heck of a time.

I'd much prefer I had a steady gf when I got this, would have made it easier, but that's selfish. No one should have to watch a loved one go through what I am.

I knew it! And that's not a selfish thing to say, everyone wants love...regardless of whether or not you have cancer. Plus cancer can be a pretty lonely road in the beginning, so it makes sense you'd want someone by your side.

Fair enough. You got it.

From all the years in your life, what is one thing you wish humanity as a whole would get straighten out or do as a whole?

The income gap in our world is disgusting. And I say that from a white privileged view.

Did the Doctors every suggest taking your voice box out ?

No, but most of girlfriends have.

Lmao. Any plans to do a show in Texas?

Late spring if I can.

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ANY trouble swallowing or chest pain. Do a regular barium swallow or upper GI test. Heartburn is a killer. The acid makes the cells go cray cray and then they become cancer. Urban Medic 101

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Get the fuck in. That was my exact symptoms. I was literally choking on hot bile.

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I'm having some serious anxiety right now. I've had a sore throat for a year and a half and only recently gave it enough attention to figure out it is most likely acid reflux, I've tried prilosec but it didnt help. Fuck.

Hope you get it checked. Regards.

I wish you the best man. Hopefully it's just Monday night football food that caused yours. :)

I imagine a lot of people are calling you an inspiration, a role model, and resting many other laurels upon you (because you are, and much more).

Do you ever want to just hit them in the face and say "i'm also a bad motherfucker, don't you forget it"?

Hilarious! Yes! I'm not a role model or an inspiration. I am just a guy, who happened to luck out and go against the grain his whole life. That allowed me to accept my most likely heavily shortened life with a positive attitude. I want to help people, I want to inspire, I want to motivate. But I also want people to know it is just them doing everything. These are just words, it takes action.

And finally, yea, I'm a bad ass motherfucker indeed. I'm also not that good of a person...so the whole role model thing is not my bag. :)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It was it's dying wish.

This might sound like a question with an obvious answer , but i figure your answer in particular holds alot more value. What do you say to people who are paralyzed by fear of judgement from others when they feel like trying something , or talking to new people , or things like that? I feel l've got anxiety issues , could do with a kick up the ass. Your story is putting things in perspective , thanks alot and wishing you the best of luck

Like words, people's opinions cannot hurt you. I generally ran my life by follow a simple few mantras my mentor shared with me when I was in my late teens: -Other people's opinions of you are none of your business. -Always leave everything better than you found it.

You can't go wrong. Another life change that made me who I am was leaving everyone I knew and moving somewhere I knew no one and had no plan or job. Just $5,000 and my moral compass. No one I met knew me. I got to discover who I really was. It was amazing. I would suggest it to anyone. (If I could do it again I would have drank less and done less drugs, but it was the best year of my life.) :)

Does it hurt physically and or mentally?

Oh yeah. Both. The physical pain with this cancer is every time I swallow. My esophagus is like that Plinko game on the Price Is Right. Food just bouncing it\s way down a minefield of tumors haha. It sucks. Also I have intense back pain for some reason.

Mentally, it is tough to stay positive when staring at a 95% chance of dying sign everyday. I'm a fighter though. Doing things like this AMA and my Youtube channel really helps mentally. I get to point out the funny, motivate and inspire others ... all while receiving amazing support and feedback from you.

I'm a 27 m and if I was in your situation I think I would just want to hug everyone I know and make sure they all knew how much I loved them, so nobody gets the awkward guilt streak of "did they actually like me" when a family member dies.

That is how I wanted to deal with it too at first. But then I realized I didn't want my friends to treat me weird. So we are all still dicks to each other lol.

Have you ever tried to explain cancer to a child? How?

I haven't yet. My little sisters know that I am sick, not contagious and will be tired sometimes. They are 10 and 12. The 12 year old Googled a bunch of stuff and came up to me the other day and said, 'It's ok, we all have cancer in us. You'll fix yours like I have so it won't make you sick.'

I'm balling my eyes out writing that. Ha. Cute.

Any regrets?

The way I dumped and treated Kayla. She deserved better. We were 21/22, I was an idiot. That and that I didn't spend more time with my Grandpa in his later years.

I also regret not taking better care of my body a little I guess. But boy, was the ride super fun.

Josh, what is one thing you really want to do before you die?

I am fortunate enough to have been very careless in my life. I have, on a whim, done whatever I wanted most of the time. There isn't a lot I want to do that I haven't MADE TIME to experience. A few things I would like to do is tour Southeast Asia, alone and get lost in the culture, learn the language, eat some weird food. I wouldn't mind a sort of Eat, Pray, Love esque end to my life. As cliche as that sounds, if treatment doesn't work and we discover that 100% I am a goner - I will likely live out my days doing just that.

Hey Josh,

You've mentioned a few times that you have led a full life - what were some of the highlights? Any experiences or places that I should put on my bucket list?

Fun question give me an hour or so. I'll post some stuff. EDIT: -Spend wayyy too much time finding the perfect gifts for people you love. Like listen to the things they say and compile that data and then out of the blue just fucking shock them. No better feeling...except... -Have a threesome, or lots of them. -Love a pet. Really love a pet. Rescue an old as fuck dog and watch it die living it's last year or two with you. -Move to a city or many cities where you know no one. Live.
-Skydiving is cool, bundgee jumping...real style..ankles up...is way better. -Really actually crash a large wedding or two. -Get married in Vegas, drunk, to a stranger - DO NOT DO THE PAPERWORK. -Like something alot? Try to do it for a living. Start a business or go work in the industry. I have. From porn to travel agency to writer to comedy. -Always tell women what you think about them. Be respectful, but never miss the chance to flirt or potentially date someone who catches your eye and skips your heart from across a bar/room/grocery store. -Hitchhike! Train hop (it's super hard nowadays tho)! Rideshare across the country!

There's sooo much. I'll be back.

Have you considered becoming a pot head to try and combat the cancer?

Have I ever! Haha. I hate pot. This poker dealer I know smokes it all the time and he sucks so much. Seriously though, I am smoking it when the nausea is bad...it's great. If the chemotherapy doesn't work, I will also try cannabis oil as a cure.

What are you most afraid of?

I am getting treatment at the best hospital for this in North America, my mom lives near there with my two little sisters 10 and 12 years old. My biggest fear is dying in my mom's house and one of those poor little girls finding me.

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Are you kidding me?

What is your favorite music artist? What is your favorite movie? If you could meet one person of your choice before you die who would it be?

Bob Dylan I think. I've never picked. I don't have a favorite movie. There are not many I'd watch twice. Maybe the original of 12 Angry Men or To Kill A Mockingbird or Fistful of Dollars or A Beautiful Mind...no idea.

Before I die I would like to meet Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong. Cutting edge cancer research doctor right now out of California. haha.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Soon-Shiong

Who would you rather hang out with in the afterlife: Richard Pryor, Robin Williams, or George Carlin?

Robin.

In the near future, would you do like any crazy stuff? skydiving etc. ?

Yes! I have done some of that stuff. Skydiving is fun, I will do it again. I want to free fall longer, riskier. Fly! Live! Repeat!

You're obviously a good guy but can you prove you're a good comedian by sharing a joke with us folks?

Jokes in text aren't that funny. How do cancer patients get gum out of their hair?

Chemotherapy.

Have you seen all of the IMDb Top 250 movies yet?

No I have not. I could die alot sooner than I thought, so I try to only watch tv/movies on really bad chemo days. Where I am puking and exhausted and sick etc.

Aside from being influenced by your favorites and your love for laughter, what was the reason for wanting to be a comedian? What made you want to share your love for comedy with others?

for laughter, what

We had a grade 8 talent show. I could only play Smoke On The Water on Guitar haha. It was shit. I wanted to be on stage, I was funny...I wanted to impress a girl named Amanda. So I wrote some jokes and bombed. People laughed anyway, it was fun. The rush I get from being on stage making strangers forget about the problems in their life and just belly laugh is next to none. There is no better feeling in the world for me. It is cathartic and blissful.

As a former road comic. I slept a fair share of nights in my car. Any similar experiences?

Oh man, all the time of course. Were you a midwest guy?

Have you ever used a lint roller to pick up all the hair that is fall-y out-y all over the place? i've been told this is a good method of picking up the little bits, but i don't have a way to test this theory out...

I took control and cut my own hair instead of walking around cleaning up. If I did use a roller, it would be a Drake #WeTheNorth roller. Here's what my hair looks like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdfJgny-DP8 It's only sort of falling out.

What was your best memory from this past year?

The black outs with best friends. :)

If you want to be sentimental, May 2014 was the best month of my entire life.

What legacy do you hope to leave in the world of comedy/where you live?

Currently nothing concrete. I am content. As I learn more and grow with this new challenge, I could see me wanting to do a lot of good for the disease with awareness. I would love to publish a book for people who just found out they have cancer. The selection is terrible currently. I would like to do a raw and funny Chicken Soup...maybe call it What To Expect When You're Expecting..To Die. lol

Your saying to back the ice with a stranger?

I don't understand.

I meant break, my bad.

Break the ice with strangers? I\m still lost...sorry. Perhaps it has spread to my brain hahahha.

I think he is trying to say is trying to strike up conversations with strangers?

I always have been outgoing. I like people. I like their stories. Their faults, their lies etc. The human condition is so interesting and beautiful

What is your favorite joke of all time?

George Carlin on Suicide.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS1o4YcWGZs

You are an awesome person. Keep fighting, my friend.

On the topic of asking questions though, what's your favorite kind of donut?

I don't like donuts. If I HAVE to eat one because there is nothing else at some shitty motel breakfast, I take a Sour Cream.

ugh.. cancer is some complete shit. I just wanted to say that this internet stranger wishes you the absolute best - you seem like someone who will make the most of what you've got. sometimes I want to punch those people who dismiss cancer because they've never had it or know someone who has (what a horrible life they would have) and just say that fucking stupid line "they'll cure cancer by the time I get it"... not really sure why I'm ranting pointlessly, cancer just gets me down.

Other than comedy what do you do for fun?

Thanks a ton! Cancer sucks, but it's here and we gotta deal. I don't judge people for being their ways....it takes all kinds right?

For fun...I do comedy, write, read, date :)

What do you think week happen to your consciousness after you die?

It learns to spell as well as you. I could never spell consciousness.

Do you believe in spooky-dookie afterlife stuff? Or once your dead, your dead and nothing more? I mean, we both know which one is more comforting...

dust to dust baby

Amen. Enjoy this incarnation while you can! Wish ya the best either way!

Thanks No One!! Cheers! Have a good one!

So how do you feel about Bill Hicks?

He's dead to me.

What's the best advice you could give to a young comedian still trying to figure out their stand up voice?

Do as many open mics as you possibly can. Take risks. Write every single day.

What do you think you'll be reincarnated as?

Fertilizer.

So when will you be meeting Satan?

Was that a typo? Did you mean Santa? Hopefully a three more sleeps.

Keep going man! You're a huge inspiration :') But anyways on to my question, how do you stay so upbeat and have a smile on your face when you have such a horrible illness? And any advice for a young 17 year old boy who's totally lost in life and going through some rough patches in life?

Hey man. Wow. If I could go back to being 17. I would for sure tell myself some very true and stern things so that I was less anxious about life. One, as my good friend Dom Pare would say, None of this matters. Most of the problems you are having do not matter. Most of the people you are trying to impress/get along with - won't matter in a decade. If I could go back, I would have lived even harder in the moment. I would have taken more time to try things (and believe I tried everything). Just brush things off. Enjoy your close friends, call you mom, hug your grandpa. Those people matter, not the 50-100 others you see weekly etc. Just do what makes your heart happy and stop worrying if it's the 'best thign for your future' - it is. Your happiness trumps all.