Comments: 171 • Responses: 78  • Date: 

unglad2 karma

What are your thoughts on people who remain in abusive relationships even when they are able to choose not to? I've seen it happen more than once. A common response seems to be "but I still love him" but I just don't buy it.

paxamanda7 karma

Not the OP, but I was in an abusive relationship in my teenage years. For me personally, it wasn't about love towards the end. It was about control and fear. It's very easy to claim that you are in love and "everybody has their issues", but it is not so simple to convey the sheer terror and hopelessness you truly feel.

It's almost like being a child again, you feel as if all of your needs are in control by this one dominating figure, and unlike childhood, you are constantly aware of the consequences of those things being taken away. You may think that sounds crazy, as obviously there are always resources to support yourself, no matter how dire. And it is. It is crazy, because you've been basically brainwashed by terror into that delusion.

It turns into this cycle of, "Well he's in control of my life and if I try to fight it, he's still going to be in control but I will ALSO be punished. I might as well just submit."

That was my experience and I by no way claim that anyone's would be identical.

UnfinishedJigsawPuzz5 karma

That is a very good explanation of what it is like. I'd been thinking this question over for a while, trying to decide exactly how to answer it. I think I will come back later and elaborate.

B0bArctor2 karma

Knowing that your husband hired someone to kill you, if you could go back in time would you still marry him?

UnfinishedJigsawPuzz4 karma

Absolutely not. Although we made 3 perfect children together, I honestly wish that he'd never been my husband and wasn't their father. I can only imagine what they are going to deal with when they are older and people find out about their father.

gotenks861 karma

Do you have any tattoos?

UnfinishedJigsawPuzz7 karma

I don't see how that is relevant to the topic of discussion.

gotenks864 karma

Your topic was not marked serious. And this negativity sucks, I am sorry that this happened, but I want to know a positive.

UnfinishedJigsawPuzz6 karma

Yes, I do. Sorry if I offended.

bigdickpuncher-2 karma

Did he get his money back?

UnfinishedJigsawPuzz1 karma

I'm not sure if this is even a serious question, but I'm assuming that it was kept as evidence.

iSeriousNoob-3 karma

What's your and his skin color?

UnfinishedJigsawPuzz7 karma

If you're politely asking our race, we are both white.

mhass24-4 karma

So, do you have a book or a movie deal yet?

I believe the channel is called Lifetime, if you're in the USA.

UnfinishedJigsawPuzz3 karma

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that it would make a great Lifetime movie, I would never have to worry about money again, lol. But no, I don't have any plans to sell my story. I don't want my kids to find out the whole story by watching it on TV in a few years.

johnnynoname12-20 karma

Was your husband a huge asshole or were you just really annoying?

UnfinishedJigsawPuzz12 karma

He was a HUGE asshole. Unless what you consider annoying is things like wanting to be able to leave the house now and then, have contact with friends and family, etc.