Not the OP, but I was in an abusive relationship in my teenage years. For me personally, it wasn't about love towards the end. It was about control and fear. It's very easy to claim that you are in love and "everybody has their issues", but it is not so simple to convey the sheer terror and hopelessness you truly feel.
It's almost like being a child again, you feel as if all of your needs are in control by this one dominating figure, and unlike childhood, you are constantly aware of the consequences of those things being taken away. You may think that sounds crazy, as obviously there are always resources to support yourself, no matter how dire. And it is. It is crazy, because you've been basically brainwashed by terror into that delusion.
It turns into this cycle of, "Well he's in control of my life and if I try to fight it, he's still going to be in control but I will ALSO be punished. I might as well just submit."
That was my experience and I by no way claim that anyone's would be identical.
paxamanda7 karma
Not the OP, but I was in an abusive relationship in my teenage years. For me personally, it wasn't about love towards the end. It was about control and fear. It's very easy to claim that you are in love and "everybody has their issues", but it is not so simple to convey the sheer terror and hopelessness you truly feel.
It's almost like being a child again, you feel as if all of your needs are in control by this one dominating figure, and unlike childhood, you are constantly aware of the consequences of those things being taken away. You may think that sounds crazy, as obviously there are always resources to support yourself, no matter how dire. And it is. It is crazy, because you've been basically brainwashed by terror into that delusion.
It turns into this cycle of, "Well he's in control of my life and if I try to fight it, he's still going to be in control but I will ALSO be punished. I might as well just submit."
That was my experience and I by no way claim that anyone's would be identical.
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