Jason Bateman here - ask me anything!

You ever even been on a plane, you piece of shit?

I'm laughing. This is a line from something I did, right?

Is it alright to call you Master Bateman?

Edit: I didn't expect this silly comment to be upvoted/answered. I thought you were brilliant in Up in the Air!

yes. i'm actually surprised I don't hear that more often.

What does Michael Cera's hair feel like?

curly, yet manageable. The hair on his head is pretty soft too.

Heeey Brother

Heeey Hermano!

Annyong!

How does it feel to be ONE e away from Jason Batman?

it only hurts when they're casting a new Batman movie

What was your reaction when Mumford and Sons made your parody video their official music video?

Edit: for those that are curious: http://youtu.be/rId6PKlDXeU

that's the first I heard of it. Flattered. In real time.

Jason Bateman!! This is the first time I've ever asked a question for an AMA. My mother is 60 years old, born and raised in Lebanon, came here when she was about 35. She has never liked anything in American popular culture or taken any interest in actors and actresses except for YOU. Every time a movie of yours is on, she watches it. She is constantly making me youtube your interviews, look up future projects you're working on, etc. I showed her arrested development and she doesn't quite understand the humor since she sometimes has trouble understanding English, but watches it whenever I am because she enjoys your acting so much. My question is, can you please just say hello to her? Or say anything at all? I would get the good daughter award and you would get the amazing person award in my household. I'm a huge fan as well, but I know this would mean the world to her!

this post was making me feel good about myself until you told me your mother doesn't understand English very well. But please tell her hello nonetheless!

Who is someone that you have not worked with, that you want to work with in the future?

bill murray

Is Will Arnett a good kisser?

of. my. unit.

Thanks for doing this AMA Jason. I got introduced to Arrested Development very late, and it's one of my favorite shows. My question: what was your favorite gag/running joke on the show?

I guess the chicken dance

What is your biggest fear in life?

bees

Bateman

grow out your sideburns

great note. on it.

If you were gay, who would you want to be your boyfriend?

I'd like to continue dating Will Arnett

I love the concept of Bad Words. What is the meanest thing you've said/done to a kid in real life?

The last punch I threw was in 4th grade and I ruptured a kid's spleen. Lucky shot. My hands have been in my pockets ever since.

I have been sitting here for five minutes thinking of a question to ask and this is the only thing I can think to ask: If you were trapped on a desert island with nothing but a mermaid, would you want the bottom half or top half to be human?

I am asking this simply because I feel this is the only way we will ever get you to answer these very important questions. All of these other questions will inevitably be asked by someone at some point but when will the world get the chance to know the answer to this?

the top half. which I would immediately get rid of. I need the tail to get home.

Who would you snog, marry, kill?

Will Arnett, Michael Cera, David Cross ;)

I'd snog all three, marry the one that gets pregnant, and kill whoever doesn't call me back.

If you could time travel, would you explore the past or the future and what would you do?

sorry to dork out, but it would be lunch with Beethoven. Seriously. Sorry.

What's the future of Arrested Development movie? Anything in development? Or is it arrested?

I know exactly the same as you do. Zip.

You're 15 minutes late! That's like 4 hours in Kevin Spacey time

Anyway. Saw Bad Words at an advanced screening and enjoyed it, but do you worry that you set that little Indian kid on a bad path with all that bad language you used in front of him?

no, i figured his parents were cool with it since they read the script and drove him to the audition. Plus we erased his memory with the men in black gun.

You are awesome. Your brand of humor is awesome. Your timing is some of the best on earth. I like you.

My question is... Why aren't you on Stern more often?

thank you. very nice of you. I'll be on Stern one week from today.

Can you actually play the banjo or was the "Hopless Wander" video all lies?

all lies, and I was surprised by how much those metal strings hurt my fat little fingers

What was the most fun scene of arrested development to shoot? And which actor is most like their character?

^{David Cross}

I just saw Martin Short this weekend and it reminded me that he played one of my favorite characters ever on the show. Dead from the waist down and permanently carried by a body builder.

What have you always said is the most important thing?

family, not breakfast, right?

Hey Jason! I'm a huge fan and I am so glad you are doing this! I have two questions for you.

1. What is the best prank you have ever pulled?

2. What is the stupidest thing that you have ever done?

1. one halloween, instead of throwing eggs at a house, I actually got a few inside the house from the curb as soon as my buddy said trick or treat.
2. see above

I loved you in Family Ties! What was it like working with Michael J Fox all those years?

Thanks. It was super fun. Did you like my hair better when it was longer?

Hey Jason! What are your favorite pizza toppings?

sausage and onions. well done. And when I say well done, I mean kick, burnt, and dragged behind a truck.

Do you have a guilty pleasure?

watching treehouse masters

Beer, wine, liquor?

all of it, but I lost my privileges 11 years ago. Have one for me.

SO, did you see the new Poof?

Laughing.

Hey Jason!

Love that you're doing an AMA.

What's been your favorite experience while filming Bad Words with Rohan Chand? How does it compare with your other filmmaking experiences?

it was really cool working with a 10 year old. I managed to remember how I liked to be treated when I was 10 years old on a set. Lots of grab ass and sugar.

Which bad word is worse? Moist or panties?

I don't know. All my answers get me in trouble with my wife.

Would you consider doing a cameo in Teen Wolf on MTV?

sure, only if I can play one with alopecia

Pick one: boxers or briefs? Beach or mountains? Coffee or tea? socks or barefoot? mani or pedi?

boxer briefs, mountains, coffee and lots of it, socks always, and both once a decade

What are your top 3 favourite bad words? What are your top 3 choices for words that aren't actually bad, but sound like they are? (Ex: yooouuuuuuuuuu kumquat!!)

tough to pick, but I do find it effective to call a guy you don't like a 'clown' and a girl you don't like an 'asshole'

If you could make a sequel to any movie you've done what would it be?

Teen Wolf 3 in 3D

Thank you for doing this AMA! I have two questions. 1. I'm a huge AD fan and I'm also taking a Arrested Development and Society DeCal class here in UC Berkeley! If you are in the Berkeley area soon, would you consider stopping by and speaking to us or just say hi? 2. How did the socially-conscious jokes in Arrested Development influence how you portrayed the role of Michael?

that class sounds like the kind of fun education I seriously missed out on by never graduating high school. Go bears!

I noticed your twitter has a French bulldog as the picture. I myself have an English and would also like to get a French. What made you purchase a french if you did in fact buy one and what's the strangest thing he does?

Thank you for taking the time to do an AMA!

I went for the French because a buddy had one. The funniest thing he does is pull on himself at least once a day.

Are you that former child star that's now a nut-case fundamentalist?

yes, and I'll see you in hell

When did you first realized you "made it"?

I'll let you know

Whats your favorite TV show at the moment?

I'm serious about Treehouse Masters

Who is your favourite director?

paul thomas anderson

What's something about directing that surprised you the most?

that I actually loved it more than I thought I would

.......I have a 2 year old. What's the best way to deal with temper tantrums and refusals to keep pull-ups on?

time out and pull-up suspenders?

What is the coolest thing you can do?

If I tilt my head back, I could hover a ball of gum above my lips for 20 seconds. And no, I'm not looking for a husband.

What is your favorite cereal?

oatmeal. I'm friends with my colon

What was your favorite movie as a kid?

king of comedy, still is.

Hi oh my goodness I'm a big fan! I just wanted to say one thing. JASON, you wouldn't need any BATE to catch me if you were a fisherMAN. ;) Keep doing your thing you are my favorite male actor! So excited for Bad Words!! :D

this reminds me of my worst Halloween costume ever. I wore a hockey goalie mask and a fish net with lures attached to it over my shoulders and went as Jason Bateman. What an a-hole. My privileges ran out shortly after this