IamA nanny for a super-rich family in China AMA!

Is the pay worth moving to a different country? What expenses are or are not covered?

I get paid shit-all. I have all my food, room and pocket money given to me. I also get some treats now and then because the hostmother is a kept woman so I get some beauty treatments and things for free. I also get free Chinese lessons which is good. They pay in part for my flight there too. The experience has been very interesting but the agency has scammed me in a few ways too.

Would you suggest this type of work for other women who are looking for a job? Sounds shitty on the agency part, any way of sorting that out, or do you just have to suck it up? How long do you plan on staying? Sorry for so many questions :)

hmmm, there are men doing the same thing I am too, but I think if you want to really experience another culture fully, being thrown in like this teaches you a lot. I wouldn't do this long term, I'm contracted to stay for another 6 months but I don't know if I can because I'm starting to go a bit nuts. The agency are a scammy bunch of cunts, they basically get paid a bomb for us and we get nothing but pocket money. They promised me health insurance but after I paid for when I got very sick they suddenly told me it only covered accidents, and really there's very little I can do about that.

Why don't you not go through the agency anymore? I just found out that the agency I go through for work is taking about 4500 from me a month, so I just told them to fuck off and went at it without them.

I might try this..

Gone through an agency.... what a pity.

I wouldn't be surprised if you could be making 40,000+ RMB per month doing this kind of work if you had direct contact with your clients. Even poor peasant farmer women can charge 8,000 per month minimum to help look after newborn babies. An actual educated white person should be getting 5 times that minimum. God knows there are plenty of nouveau riche around willing to pay that or more just for the face it gives them alone.

on the other hand I only do afew hours of work daily and arranging it would have been impossible. It sucks. But you're right, sort of why I don't care about leaving early..

You could easily get a hustle going with them for way more money if you care to, now that you know them directly. Just tell them that you will stay or come back if they pay you a decent amount of money on the side. The agency would never have to know about that.

I'm shy ._.

HELLO, I very rich, drive 宾利. Have chalet in Swizerland, and villa in toscany. Need beautiful 老外 to control many children from my wife and 二奶。 Also my mother. Buts is OK, she can still go to toilet on her own, no need you have to wipe buttocks. Pay is verry good. Promise won't no harrass you in sexual manner becaus you only low position maid/nanny. Seen unhappy in current position, why you no find new job with me. 4 Kids you look after plus 93 year old mother. You keep visa, I pay alot cash. Send me message if you agree.

...agree/

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yes and it's sort of embarrassing, especially with the food. And labels, the obsession with western labels on clothes, even if the clothes don't go or look stupid.

What kind of Western food is eaten? Do they like... go to Western style restaurants to show off?

they do! the first day I arrived at the family's house they took me to a steak house which apparently is a huge deal (i was mostly veggie in england) it was surreal to be served steak and potatoes and have my favorite Chet Baker song in the background. Very weird. Fast food is also popular and before I came there was a lady gaga themed steak house.

I once heard that they put ice cubes for red wine.. True/False?

ive hardly seen any red wine here, but they do have rice wine which is basically like a glass full of death. Chinese beer is ok though. They did give me 'salad' though. It was melon, banana, tomatoes and a few leaves drowned in mayo. Yuck

Hey chica. Let me give you the quck rundown on chugging baijiu. I still use this method, even after 6 years here, for the first couple of rounds. After that your tastebuds are burned off, and the method can be discarded. Here goes: Breathe in, take a gulp of baijiu (or as I like to call it, drain cleaner), immediately exhale through your mouth. Inhale again through the nose, and exhale from the mouth. This way you'll avoid most of the smell and taste. Try it, it really helps.

interesting. Usually I add Sprite or throw it on the floor..

that's so gangsta

yeah, we're all pimps here.

What was the worst thing to happen to you at this job? And the best?

Thanks for the AMA!

hmmm, I kept telling the family here I was sick for about 3 months and they just laughed it off and told me to get over it. Eventually I got a fever and deep pain in my kidneys which was a kidney infection. They wouldn't drive me so I had to walk a few miles to the most vile hospital ever and get examined on a gurney in a room of chinese people with colds by them thumping me and asking me if it hurt in certain places. I had to pay a buttload and get lots of IV's. Ick. The best? The boy can be very sweet and funny and I had a great birthday party here, we went to a Chinese club and I brought twerking to the mainland.

They wouldn't drive you to the hospital, so you had to walk? Man you need to get out.

Oh trust me, I am.

I feel so sorry for you and hope you will get check up again when you back in England. I don't believe in Chinese doctor even I am a Chinese myself…

but seriously Is it possible there is a misunderstood cause by language? I can't believe the rich ass family won't even call a taxi for you, because taxi is really cheap in China….. and the last thing they need to worry about is money

I got a translator to tell them when it felt like I was pissing broken glass and no one listened, they just couldnt be bothered.

if you killed the kid, would they go to the police or have you killed w/o involving law enforcement?

hmmm, I'm not sure. brb testing to see consequences.

Reply OP! We must know!

She looks pissed

Verified

cheers x

...And you're english.

indeed

Are you sleeping with either of the parents?

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Damn, I always knew everyone in China was banging

HIV is also rising

Is this a serious answer? I've noticed you have a streak of sarcasm.

the latter part is true, ive seen her half naked a few times, the first is not. Definitely not

What's their daily routine like? How do the super rich in China live?

it seems to vary family by family (I've other nanny friends) but mine seems to be the father away all the time apart from one day at the weekend, the mother ferrying her son to all his schools and activities and endless parties and lavish dinners. During the day there's very little to do because there's also a housekeeper. They shop, go the movies and watch TV.

What is shitty about your job?

many things, not being able to fully discipline the kid sometimes, the lack of freedom as a previously quite independent person and actually China is very dirty and polluted, so I feel quite guilty I get to leave and they just have to deal.

not being able to fully discipline the kid sometimes

Argh, I know this feeling. I worked as a nanny for a wealthy family in Italy a few years ago. When the kids would act like little brats and order me around I told them that I would not do things for them, but I would do it with them, such as bringing toys from one room to the next. They would run to their mum who would be forced to give up precious time talking into her phone (it was almost attached to her face) and complain, and then she would ask me to do the task. I felt like a dog, and the kids could sense my place amongst the family.

Lady, I am trying to teach your kids to not be little shits!

What will happen if you leave your contract early? I've known nannies who quit when they were incredibly unhappy. It's not the end of the world. No one is going to call that family up for a job reference when you include your nannying on your resume when you return home.

Yes exactly, mine isn't as bad as what you described but for example today he came home from the hospital after being in for some kind of very bad cold (when the worlds antibiotics become completely ineffective we will know exactly which country to blame) in his mask and the first thing he did when i knelt down to say hello was wipe his phlegmy coughy mask round my face O_O

Damn, irresponsible antibiotics is dangerous.

I had three months left with the family (and that was with no contract, just a verbal agreement after I had a week trial with them) and an agency which they had previously paid thousands to let the family know that another girl was interested in coming in two weeks, and that she wanted to work for a year. The family politely fired me (so fucking happy and relieved, but I was trying not to show it) because they wanted to secure the nanny who would stick around for longer. There was no bad blood between us.

I was really unhappy and disatisifed when I was at work during this time, and I believe that I would have completed the last three months despite hating it and feeling like a sack of shit. When you are working with a family and their children, the boundaries of what you would normally put up with really tends to blur. If I were in an office today and I had a lazy coworker demand things of me which weren't my duties which I then refused, and then the boss and the coworker pressured me into doing it I would recognise that as a horrible, toxic work environment and look for a new job without looking back. When you are working as a nanny you are forced to negotiate for yourself, and you are really at the bottom of the pack in terms os disposability.

Do you feel guilty when you think of leaving? Do you feel like you will inconvenience them too much as they struggle to replace you? Those are the things which held me back from leaving.

Don't worry about them. They are rich as fuck. If you leave the worst that will happen is that his parents might have to do a bit of fucking parenting.

Have you considered finding a job independently? There are nanny websites all over the world. You can continue to explore china but with a different family

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I met some nannies who were blissfully happy with their family, it really doesn't have to be horrible. Keep looking. You haven't failed, you just found what sounds like a fairly rude family and the pay isn't good enough to compensate it.

This is what I found after one minute of searching - http://www.greataupair.com/fastfind.cfm/search/family/careType/nanny/countryList/46. You are an English speaking nanny and you lend a massive ammount of status to any family that hires you, you will be snapped up so fast if you make a profile. And you can negotiate what you want too.

Use a few hours in your week off to meet up with some families. Go to a cleaner part of China. Keep on learning the language and then show your mum a great time when she comes to visit you. You can even organise to only work with a new family for as many months as you want so that you can give yourself more time to travel with your mum. You will be fine if you start organising it now, and can then scope out the familes to make sure they are not people smugglers or theives, etc.

The family are lovely and my job is for the most part ok, but part of it is China itself and my struggles with one or two aspects, I feel a bit handicapped by my limited language also and I miss my bf, family and things. I am actually in Hangzhou which is one of the nicest parts of China. I can't say I hate it, I really like some aspects but I miss my independence.

Do they recycle their trash? What's their stance on the environment, climate change, carbon footprint?

if by recycle you mean go to idylic spots and ruin them with chewing gum, drinking bottles and bodily fluids, then yes. They don;t give a fuck, either that or thye are very uneducated on how terrible it is. Most have never known different.

or they are very uneducated on how terrible it is

I was shocked when picnicking with Beijing university students and professors to see they just thew all their garbage in the bushes.

yes, people can call racism all they want but I dont care. Its a really bad habit

lovely

and the rest http://www.ministryoftofu.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/poop_thumb.jpg

Wait wat? Is he copping a squat on the subway?

yes.

...What happens after he's curled one out? Does he just leave it there?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7o5VNdv8LI

How often do Chinese guys try to hit on you?
Edit for spelling.

All the time, but not in a very sleazy way. If I go out they send drinks to my table which I actually don't like and I get people coming up to me in the street but it's not intimidating or anything.

Do random people approach you on the street to take your picture? Just because you're a different skin tone from them? When I was there this happened at least half a dozen times just because I'm white. Took a while to realize they weren't handing me their cameras to take a pic of them and their friends, they were each wanting a photo with me. So odd

So. much.

Are people still constantly spitting in the street? To some this may sound like a dumb question but when I went to China, regardless of where you were, people spit CONSTANTLY in public. I read that China was trying to get people to stop that, but I was wondering if any actual improvement had happened.

I wake up every day to that sound and hear it all day. People spit everywhere non stop and it is vile. It hasn't stopped one bit.

how does it feel to be treated like a second or third class human?

not as bad as you think. I get to leave and go back to England which is great.

Would you feel differently if you couldn't escape the country?

I would kill myself

What ridiculous rules and tasks do they have for you?

What's your race?

How good is your Chinese, or are you expected to teach the little prince in English?

How rich is the family?

How much "pull" do the family have?

Have you ever stolen anything from them?

I am half black, half middle eastern, I'll upload a picture of me. Rules are weird, I have to be in my room by 8 and then I can't really do anything else apart from computer things. They've made me take him to school when I've been very sick before, I was very pissed about that. My Chinese is not the best, but I am getting there :) but yes, I give him nglish lessons, that's why they hired me.

The family have a very nice apartment and 5 Porsche's which is just silly.

I'm not sure but wherever we go we seem to just jump lines so.....

No, I've not stolen, I'm a very guilty person

It's surprising that anybody considers China a "communist" country when somebody can have 5 Porsches.

I know, it's staggering

You have to be in your room by 8??? Every day??? Sorry, I spent six months in China and the best part was going out in the evenings. Also, super interesting AMA- thanks so much :)

I have weekends free so it's not so bad, but yes that part is annoying! Thank you very much :D

Have you experienced any prejudice in China or has the family treated you differently from other Westerners because of your ethnic background?

Being in Southern China, are you learning a local dialect in addition to Mandarin?

I'm very pale and the only giveaway is my hair which is left to dry naturally is an afro so I get told my hair is dry or I should style it better. They don't get how being mixed race works. They seem fine with me not eating pork though.

I am learning a few different pronunciations which is interesting.

wherever we go we seem to just jump lines so.....

This is standard behavior in China and has nothing to do with financial status.

no, he gives them a fistful of money in restaurants. You misunderstand

What is the weirdest things you have seen the kids do and then get away with?

pick his nose and wipe it on me? Wave his bare ass at me? Oh and a friend who works an hour or so away has seen the kids be allowed to just piss on the living room floor so they don;t have to move from the television. Occasionally they'll bring him a bucket.

Piss on the floor? That takes the cake for me

I know.

What does the father do for a living?

I think he owns a real estate company and some factories.

yeah, it goes without saying, anyone with that kind of money in china isn't legit. dude's got connections out the wazoo.

i swear to god i've seen more BMWs and Bentleys in China than i ever saw back home in america.

oh absolutely.

hey, what province are you in? you said south, so i'm guessing guangdong. i live up north in hebei and love to travel, unfortunately the furthest south i've ever been was nanjing. you rode the train to any places interesting? i really wanna go to the dazu rock carvings in chongqing but it's too far...

also, haha, what are your plans for spring festival? i'm getting the fuck out of here to vietnam for a week. you know, thailand's nice this time of year and you don't need a visa - just an idea.

Zhejang is where I am, I will be here for part of spring festival. If you want to come down it'd be nice to spend some time with an English speaker. PM me

Same! Where abouts? I am in Zhuji, about 40 minutes outside of Hangzhou.

I am in a similiar situation as you, but I came to China to teach english at a middle school. Also got screwed by the agency. You mind if I ask what agency you used?

PM me!

Does the wife treat you like someone to befriend or just like a servant to shoo away and just get work done out of? From what I here the Au Pair program is supposed to let you have like a second family almost

oh she's generally sweet to me, really. They are very nice, especially the ayi (grandmother) so I've been relatively lucky. However some things remind me of my status sometimes, like not being taken for medical care etc.

What's the average boob size of Chinese women? How do they compare with the US&A or European women?

actually the reason why I verified privately was because I post in gw occasionally and have maybe slightly above average sized breasts. The women of the family are overtly interested in them and having seen how padded their bras are I'd say about A/B. Pretty small

Living here long enough as a foreigner sucks, because there is almost nowhere that sells above C cupped bras.

My Asian classmates are constantly asking to touch my boobs. It's hilarious but yeah, a bit unnerving.

Yeah my boobs and ass are grabbed by women here, it's funny but as you said unnerving. I can't buy any bras here at all.

Link to gw post?

nahh

do the titles of your post reference babysitting?? you know, could you say it and mean it

ahahaha, gosh no.

Hi! I'm an American, currently living in Japan. The news we get here in Japan about China is not so much censored as it is...selecively emphasized/ignored by the major media outlets, depending on the kind of news. Then, when I go back home and see the news or check on the internet to see what the rest of the story is, I sometimes find the "real" story to be rather different than what the Japanese news says.

Do you have similar experiences with the Chinese news/media? Do you not watch/read Chinese news?

Also, how would you characterize the "tone" of chinese media toward foreign powers like Japan, The US, England, etc?

If the answer is boring, skip my questions :)

The TV isn't allowed on in this house much, because the kid is always studying in the living room, however from the news I HAVE seen, you are right, it seems meant to placate the people rather than to actually inform. Even the western news channels here have played down certain terrible things, i.e. the state of the environment and it's cost for agriculture. To avoid this I just stick to my lovely VPN and get my news from a range of sources.

Why aren't you teaching English? The money is better, and there is much more freedom to travel.

I know ._. stupid me

What is the difference in wealth of this family compared to the surrounding families and how does the kid get treated compared to other kids?

this is a very rich neighborhood, but having been in some other apartments and things they seem slightly richer in comparison. This kid seems more pushed than the other kids, 6 days of school a week and 4 music lessons in the evenings too.

when you say super-rich, how rich are we talking ?

own many nice cars, luxurious apartment and second home, one kid in boarding school, other privately educated.

Do they have any weird secrets that you've accidently uncovered? Rich people always do weird shit

not me personally but my two friends here both have husbands who have had affairs, one who is a university lecturer who boned his student.

I couldn't think of a question, but now I have one after reading:

Now that you are familiar with the wealthy family, and considering that they are wealthy. Assuming you are doing a decent enough job, and going with what you said about the agency you work for being shitty:

What is to stop you from negotiating better pay with the family you work for, vacations, benefits and all?

I've already signed a fixed contract, though, thats the thing. And I'm not legally allowed to be paid more because of my visa. The reason it's so easy to come here is because what I do comes into 'cultural exchange' so I don't receive a salary.

Are there many male nannies? Would that be considered weird?

I have met one the first day I arrived in Shanghai on the way to where I am now and he was one of the worst people I've ever met. He'd come become he wanted to have sex with Asian women because 'they'll do anything'. He also didn't believe in abortion and thought Guantanamo was justified. But I've heard of other ones and they seem nice.

What do you mean by "didn't believe in abortion"?

said it should only be used for the disabled because they were of no use to society.

What a chap. The best kind of pro lifer.

pro life/ eugenicist it's all good, baby

Ever thought about quitting your job? And if you did, for what reason?

Thanks for your AMA!

Oh yeah, daily I think of just bailing to the airport. The reasons are because since I was sick here I've actually lost money and I have a boyfriend in America at the moment who I miss terribly! Also this agency are a bunch of lying dicks, and I miss being able to work out outdoors without being afraid for my lungs. It sounds silly too, but most of the men here are very slight and metrosexual. I miss a masculine presence and my friends.

So you're an Englishwoman working in China with a boyfriend in America?

yes indeed.

I felt the need to comment, as I am an english teacher/manny for a child in China as well. haha great AMA!

which part??

A few questions:

Does the family live in a gated community? Had you studied the Chinese language before you left or did you pick it up as you went along? How long have you been there, and how long do you think you'll stay before you move on? And where to next? Does the family use reddit?

yes they do, in a rich gated neighborhood. I knew bits on pinyin before but I learned characters and everything when I came here. I will probably stay a month or two more before I really have to leave and I will probably go to the west coast of America. I sure hope they don't use reddit...

That must have been quite a leap of faith, then, going without the language. Very impressive. Why America next?

boyfriend and also it's the west coast. So burritos.

Tell me about the good exeriences you've had. Positive things that have changed your view on the world?

Meeting young chinese people and having so much in common with them, even when language was a problem we have had so much fun learning about each others cultures and helping each other out. I've made amazing friends. How sweet the Chinese are to their kids, watching the grandparents sit by the lake with the young kids is heartwarming. Bonding with a kid who isn't mine and having him give me a kiss goodnight. Lots of good things.

What made you decide to be a nanny?

I like kids a lot and I like traveling

Does your kid have those pants with the ass cut out of them so he can just go where he drops? Can't imagine having to deal with that.

he's 7!

Would you consider living in China if it was to work in something you're good at or really enjoy?

Thanks for the AMA!

hmmmm. Possibly, the environment wears me down considerably, though.

Knowing that you are working for a rich family with a patriarch who possibly deals in shady/dodgy business, and that you not only post in GW, but also talk about them in "less than favorable tones" on the Internet in the most heavily monitored network in the world - do you feel that you might be putting your neck out a bit too much doing this AMA?

yeah it just occurred. I'm screwed

What's it like being non-white over there? Any racism?

I'm paler than the Chinese so I can't comment on what it must be like being black here.

What's the best part of your current situation?

free room, lots of free time to work on other stuff I like and learning a lot about myself and other people. Pretty much priceless.

My only question is...

你喜欢中国吗？

你喜欢中国吗

I do like parts :) the lunches are delicious and noodle soups, tomato and egg dishes etc are great. However evening meals are a hit and miss... the meat leaves a lot to be desired and I do rather miss cheese...

the person in the middle of your picture looks like franka potente

that would be me! Thanks, I hope

ahhh is she from run lola run? I get that a lot :)

Have you ever been in an awkward situation where the family has brought a dog home and you misunderstood what it was for and prepared it for dinner?

no but they have bought home weird shit. There is a carcass of a chicken with its head still attached hanging in the kitchen window. It's been there 3 weeks.

Sorry I have lots if questions. How much do you get paid? I'm interested in doing this after college. What is the name of the company that hired you? so I can be wary of them. Where can I apply to this shitty job?

fuck all, make sure you come with a plan to work illegally or with a lot of savings. 1000 yuan a month. I would say maybe come as a teacher, at least then you can earn and have some independence and you can be friends with the other teachers

1000 a month? You got done. No wonder your experience in China is so shit. An average English teacher makes that in a couple of days. Can you not quit and go home/become an English teacher?

I think I'm just going to leave early, honestly.

I'm not sure if you have ever read the book but your situation reminded me of Chinese Cinderella... Anyway, I was going to ask how the kids all treat each other, do you notice it to be distinctly different than western countries, or do the kids act almost the same? I read about that kid wiping his flemmy mask around you... Thats completely fucked, sorry you have to go through that kind of crap for another family.

I did indeed read it when I was 12 or 13 :D I also read Wild Swans, which is brilliant. I am mostly reasonably happy here and I have lots of free time, but some things are hard. The kids here are very very loud, used to being alone because of the one child rule, they expect immediate attention. Western kids are a little more patient. I feel bad im here when there are so many poor children here who need teaching too. Makes me feel guilty.

Do you have a TV in your room? Can you watch Dvd's etc in your own time

I have my computer which without I would have gone nuts. No TV in here but the only tv in English here is Sports and News.

What's your favorite color?

a nice bluey green. like the sea