IAmA father falsely accused of abusing his twin daughters who won!
I am a father of twin girls who was falsely accused of sexualy abusing them. It took 2 years (and then some!) to unwind everything and restore my rights as a father. In the end I proved a negative and won. It was almost another year before I finally feel like my life is getting back on track.
This IAmA is offered as a scream of pain to all others falsely accused and maybe a fucking ray of hope.
Keep fighting Dads of Reddit! You're better than what they say! Unless you aren't falsely accused. In that case, I hope you get kicked into a pit 300 style.
EDIT: The basic facts...
- My ex wife accused me while we were still living together.
- I now have 50/50 custody with her.
- Around 15k in legal fees.
- She asked for a settlement conference after "pissing hot" on two separate psych evals during the course of the custody investigation. We settled for 50/50 and all domestic violence restraining orders were dismissed (DVROs).
- Did she have any punishment for the false accusation? Nope, i'm afraid not. She covered her legal costs but really nothing. I'm grey on this one, on one hand I would like to see her get what she deserves but on the other I want the girls to have their mother too. I also don't want anyone to ever feel afraid to come forward.
- My God! Why let bat shit crazy be in your girls life? Go for 100% There are many factors here but in general it's a balancing act between hurting my girls by taking them away from their mother and hurting them long term by letting her potently hurt them by manipulation. We do record and log everything with her now and are insulating ourselves from her as much as possible. The trouble is, if you ask a 3rd party, like a judge, to make a judgement, all you can do is roll a set of loaded dice. There is a good chance it'll end up good but you don't have a for sure on it. I also want there to be no doubt in anyones mind I did everything I could to try and co parent which will help a judge make the right decision.
- Will you tell them when they get older? Yes when they move out and if they want to know. I have put some thought into recording something for them and keeping a copy of the court filings. For now, no way.
EDIT3: Off to work as of 1400Z, see you guys around 0400Z if you have more questions.